?
"What… what were you feeling when you did that?" asked Lily.
"Huh… oh well, a few things I guess? Why do you ask?" questioned Evaline.
"Well… I just can''t imagine myself ever doing something like that to Kat. If she made me swear of sex in exchange for our rtionship… that''s something I''d totally do. I don''t know how hard it would be, but I''d put in a fair bit of effort. It''s also weird because your my mum I guess… but yeah… it''s just weird to see that it was so important to you that you nearly broke it off with Dad… especially since I guess I know how this all turned out," exined Lily.
Evaline nodded in understanding and started to exin, "Right well… ok this is going to be a bit of a tangent from the ''story'' part of the story so is that ok?" Lily nodded. Evaline wasn''t surprised so she continued, "Right so… it wasn''t really about the sex. Or at least, that wasn''t the main part of why I was getting annoyed. In my eyes, I was asking for one thing, and I didn''t consider it to be particrly valuable.
"I slept with people I liked enough after a few dates, and if they weren''t any good in bed, and were only ''alright'' to date I dumped them and moved on. I didn''t see anything wrong with that… and I still don''t really. It''s a bit shallow, sure, but as I proved with your father, if they could make up for the bad, or in this case,cking sex life, then I''d be okay keeping the rtionship going.
"Your father… I found outter that he had a few issues with sex, and it makes me wonder if we really did sleep together that night I first met him. I''m also all but certain his drink was spiked, because Harold isn''t one to get drunk, having issues with that as well. Anyway, I didn''t know any of that, so all I saw was a young man that was denying my very obvious advances.
"It was a pretty big blow to my ego every time he turned me down, and while it was for the best, I felt rather attacked every time he brushed me off. Which, might seem a bit stupid, and perhaps it was, but I want you to think about how you''d feel if every time you asked Kat for a kiss, she patted your head, made an excuse, and then left,"
Lily winced at the instant pain that shot through her heart at the image. "Kat would NEVER do that to me!" Lily retorted hotly.
Evaline rolled her eyes, "Yes I''m aware of that Lily, but you can somewhat understand my point now can''t you?"
Lily grit her teeth but nodded, "Yeah… and sorry I overreacted. Just… the idea that Kat would deny me something so basic… it''s not a pleasant thought, and I felt the need to defend her, even though it was just an example,"
Evaline nodded, "Yes, and while I''m sure you don''t see sex as something basic, especially not when you only have interest in one woman, but for me sex was something about on the level of an intimate kiss might be to you right now. For me, sex was a very expected part of a rtionship. Every time he said no, I doubted hismitment to the rtionship. It felt like I was the only one putting in any effort, and if you remember, I didn''t appreciate the effort he went to, to earn money. So I didn''t really count that either.
"It all just bubbled up there in front of the mall. In some ways, I think it was wrong of me to p him. I mean, I''m no proponent for domestic abuse, and I certainly don''t hit my husband regrly…" Evaline paused, then coughed and muttered, "outside of the bedroom."
"MUM!" hissed Lily. "I have CAT EARS. I can hear you very well and I really wish I COULDN''T. Why didn''t you just say that in your head?" <novelsnext></novelsnext>
Evaline shrugged, "ANYWAY. I certainly don''t suggest pping someone unless they enjoy it," Lily just red at her mother as her blush dissipated, "but I feel like it was a good wakeup call. pping someone doesn''t hurt too much, it mostly just stings. I wanted to make my point clear. Harold was hurting me with his constant dismissals, and I wanted to hurt him back, or at least show that I wasn''t going to take being hurt like that without fighting back a bit. Does that make sense?"
Lily rubbed her tongue around her fangs as she thought on Evaline''s points. "I get it. I''m not sure I''d ever be able to make a point like that to Kat… then again, even if I wanted to, she has regeneration and way too high a pain tolerance," said Lily.
"She could just be a masochist," offered Evaline.
Lily shook her head, "That would be weird, but I''d probably be less worried if she was. I can feel Kat''s pain through our mental link sometimes, and I can tell she doesn''t enjoy it. If she DID enjoy the pain then at least I could understand why she''s so often hurt, but s… Kat''s just like that,"
"I understand," lied Evaline. Lily rolled her eyes but just gestured for her mother to continue. "Right well… that week I didn''t know what to do. I kept reaching for my phone to call Harold and chat with him. My friends all saw that I was behaving oddly, but I kept brushing them off. I didn''t really want to talk about it at all… until my mother sat me down and forced me to talk about it. It was… a bit of an enlightening conversation. I think the most interesting question she had for me was ''Are you angry at theck of sex, or are you angry because theck of sex makes you think Harold doesn''t trust you'' and that hit me hard, because I didn''t know the answer."
Evaline rolled her eyes at the shocked look on Lily''s face, "Oh sure I know the answer right now, but please remember daughter, that I hadn''t had a truly serious rtionship in a few years at that point and I was getting antsy. My trust in… perhaps not men in general, but the ones I picked out was pretty abysmal. I felt like I''d finally found one that liked me as I was… but then he wouldn''t sleep with me. I didn''t know if he didn''t think I was attractive, if he was just with me for a bet or something else negative.
"Still, that question from Hannah, inbination with Harold''s firm stance with me really got me to think about what I wanted in life. Not to get too sappy, but it really did force me to take a good long look at my life choices and really think about the future for perhaps the first time ever. Oh sure they tried to get us to think about that sort of thing in school, but I never treated it all that seriously.
300
"So… the big meetup came. Harold met me at that park we had our first date and we sat down and really talked. Harold opened up to me about his problems with sex, and alcohol somewhat as well, then he tried to apologise, but I stopped him so I could exin my side of things first. Most of which I''ve already told you, so I''ll skip it. When it was over, I apologised for making him ufortable, and for treating him like an ATM. He apologised for not realising what his constant denials of my advances were doing, especially since he did recognise we were in a rtionship.
"We spent hours talking things out. We''d met up in the morning, wepletely skipped over lunch and it was dark before we noticed. We still weren''t finished talking… so I asked him toe back to my house and stay the night, and that I''d sleep on the floor and he could take my bed. Well, he insisted I take the bed in the end. I ignored him and we both slept on the floor, but anyway, we talked and talked all the way home. Then through a dinner my mother prepared… and that''s how we really got together.
"There were some ups and downs after that. The first time we slept together was super awkward. That one time I got super drunk and he had to take me home, while I was trying to molest him was another. God I felt so bad about that one when I woke up, but he kept insisting it was fine even though it wasn''t. That''s what curbed my drinking habit actually. Anyway, I''m not sure if you''d care too much about the rest but… well… I hope my story helped," finished Evaline with a smile. Looking out over the top of the mountain. They''d reached it a little while back but Lily hadn''t looked around yet.
"Mum… I have no idea how that story is supposed to help me…" said Lily awkwardly. "But… thanks for telling me anyway,"