《Humanity Online: World Sanctuary》 Gameplay Details Gamey Details This chapter is purely for reference purposes. If youe across a Viren''s Refuge game reference you don''t recognize or remember from earlier chapters, you cane here and check it out! Also, a few people had questions about the math I use for stats and such, so I included my simplest forms in the section on Base Stats. If there''s something else you''d like to see in this Auxiliary Chapter, let me know, and I''ll add it! I''ll update it as the story continues. ____________ [ RACES OF VIREN''S REFUGE ] Norse Valkyrie (Choosers of the Fallen) Warriors in Odin''s Ragnanival army who choose who deserves a hero''s death in battle and then carry each warrior''s soul to Valha Racial Perks: high base strength; non-restricted berserk skill; eventual flight ability; increased attack speed with ded weapons --- Celtic Pu`ca (Shapeshifter Spirit) Trickster spirit fae who helps or hinders humans; harbinger of both good and bad fortunes, depending on the situation Racial Perks: high base intelligence; shapeshift into horned cat, goat-demon, and dire wolf; each shiftes with specialized stats and abilities, and each shift can acquire shift-specific upgradeable skills --- Chinese Draegkyn (Dragon Kin) Humans granted the power of nature dragons, in ordance to Chinese dragon lore Racial Perks: high base intelligence; swimming racial skill; attack buff in water fights & on boats; increased damage with water magic --- Greek Meliae (Ash Dryads) Nymphs of the mountain ash tree, born of Gaia (the Earth) and the blood of castrated Ouranos (the Sky) Racial Perks: high base vitality; since the World Tree is ash, passive race skill draws power from World Tree to regen HP at a faster rate; increased stealth in forests; increased potions-making sess rate; increased chance for crit (critical) hit when using wooden bow --- Egyptian Anubis Death Warrior (God of the Afterlife''s Mortal Forces) Warriors granted powers by Anubis, God of the Afterlife, Guard of the Underworld Racial Perks: high base strength; high base defense; increased damage to dead/undead enemies; increased chance for crit hit with any weapon; high heat resistance --- Japanese D''Raven (Karasu Tengu) Karasu = Crow/Raven; Tengu = half-bird, half-man yokai (spirit/demon) that acts as a trickster minor god who lives in mountain forests; most strange or mysterious events can be attributed to them, and they enjoy luring humans with music or by appearing as will-o''-the-wisps. Later tengu are more powerful and darker; they are skilled with swords, martial arts, and magic and often use their powers to sway Buddhist priests away from Enlightenment Racial Perks: high base agility; eventual flight ability; increased stealth in shadows; can create will-o''-the-wisp lights to confuse/distract enemies; when skill proficiency rate hits 95% with any de or martial arts attack skill, deals double damage -- Mayan Camazotz (Death Bat) Cave-dwelling Mesoamerican Bat-Man hybrid Vampire Racial Perks high base agility; eventual bat shapeshift ability; base Search skill (echolocation); base Life Steal skill (when activated, will steal HP from any attacker whonds a hit) -- Inuit Angakoq Shaman (Spiritual Leader) Intellectual and spiritual leader with powers of divination, healing, and other various abilities granted by a spirit guide/animal spirit familiar Racial Perks: high base intelligence; high cold resistance; eventual ice bear shapeshift ability; at 90% skill proficiency, healing skills work more effectively (replenish more HP than base skill allows) -- Hindu Rakshasa (Man-Eater) lit. trans: "Help Me!" (words Brahma yelled when being eaten alive by Rakshasa after he created them) Demons who feeds on human flesh, banished to earth because of their insatiable bloodlust; in-game they look like horned tiger-faced demons with fangs Racial Perks: high base strength; high base defense; deal extra damage when fighting humans (Man-Eater Bonus); bloodlust berserk state skill -- Variable - Human "As the mortal protector of the Realms, humans are a highly adaptable, highly intelligent race that uses numbers and tactics to outwit stronger forces. Though short-lived, they burn bright and fast, aplishing as muchor morein one fleeting lifespan than many immortals undertake in an eternity." Racial Perks: high base vitality; granted 2x EXP for all non-human kills; +5% base skill proficiency with weapons; unlimited human potential means not ss-locked, can change sses at Level 80; group defense buff applied any time 6+ humans form a party or team (Zerg Bonus) ____________ [ RANKING SYSTEM FOR EQUIPMENT/WEAPONS ] RANKING SYSTEM for Equipment/Gear Tier: ck (Trash) Red (Common) Yellow (Decent) White (Excellent) Blue (Rare, can be Unique) Nova (Epic, Legendary, Mythic) can also be Replica Equipment tiers are color-coded to align with the game''s "celestial universe" theme: ck, Red, Yellow, White, Blue. The name of the item glows the same color as its tier. ck equipment is trash. Might as well toss it into a ck hole for all the good it will do you. Red equipment is weak andmon, like Red Dwarfs (the dimmest, coldest stars), and can be obtained from low-level monsters and quests. Yellow Tier equipment drops in dungeons and mid-level questspleted with a B-Rank sess rating, and like our Yellow Sun, is good enough for survival, though not overly exciting. White equipment is excellent and can be obtained from bosses and difficult questspleted with an A-Rank sess rating. Blue equipment is powerful and rare, like Blue Giants (the brightest, hottest stars), and can only be obtained from Nightmare Mode dungeons, high-level field bosses, and questspleted with an S-Rank sess rating. Nova equipment is ranked Epic, Legendary, and Mythic. (With Replica versions of each.) ____________ Health measured in HP - Blue Bar Stamina measured in SP - Green Bar Enemy HP - Red Bar (No mana; magic uses stamina just as any other physical skill does.) Stamina is aplicated beast in Viren''s Refuge. Sprinting consumes SP, while Agi and equipment determines how rapid the rate of consumption. Jogging, walking, and standing replenish SP at different rates, so there''s an art to alternating movement speeds to run most efficiently without depleting your SP and entering a Weakened state. Combat also consumes stamina. Melee skills use more SP than non-magic ranged attacks, and magic skills generally consume the most SP, just like magic consumes mana in other MMOs. The stamina burn duringbat isn''t unreasonably fast, though; by Level 10, if you''re decently efficient, an average yer can fight for 5-10 minutes without needing an SP recovery item or spell. What''s really cool (for expert yers, anyway) is thatbat skill proficiency and uratebo delivery greatly influence SP consumption. Essentially, fighting well allows a yer to also fight longer. ____________ [ BASE STATS WINDOW ] Name: -- Race: -- ss: -- Subss: -- Title: -- Level: 1 EXP: 0/100 HP: (50) (10 points per level) SP: (20) (10 points per 5 levels) Attributes: Strength: (HP Bonus = STR x 3) Agility: (SP Bonus = AGI x 1) Intelligence: (SP Bonus = INT x 1) Vitality: (HP Bonus = VIT x 10) Hidden Attributes: Fortitude: Luck: Charisma: Perception: Mythic Hero Ranking: ??? ____________ EXP Required to Reach Next Level: EXP LVL 100 1 200 2 500 3 1000 4 2000 5 5000 6 10000 7 20000 8 50000 9 100000 10 200000 11 500000 12 1000000 13 2000000 14 5000000 15 7500000 16 10000000 17 20000000 18 50000000 19 75000000 20 100000000 21 Glossary of Video Game Terminology Glossary of Video Game Terminology Are you unfamiliar with some of the terminology casually tossed around in video game novels? If so, good news! This glossary is here to help! I''ve focused on MMO terms, since that''s most relevant if you''re reading my novel, but I''m happy to add others if anyone has other questions. If you evere across a word you don''t know, please feel free to ask about it, and I''ll tell you what it means and add it to this glossary for future readers! :) These are in alphabetical order for now: ________________ Add/Adds - "Additional Enemy" : a term, generally used in boss fights, that means "generic enemies that aren''t the boss." Someone saying "clear adds" really means "kill the additional enemies that are not crucial to the mechanics of the boss fight." (Mobs and Adds are often used interchangeably and essentially mean the same thing.) Aggro - Aggression: measure of a mob''s attack interest in a specific character. "Holding Aggro" means the mob is fixed on you, so it''s focusing its attacks on you. (Generally good for the Tank to Hold Aggro) AoE - Area of Effect : dealing damage to enemies standing within a certain range radiating out from the spot where the spell/attack was targeted Buff - Spell that increases a beneficial attribute to a yer (can also be obtained through foods/potions/etc, depending on the game) CC - Crowd Control : as an attack, it controls a number of enemies by either freezing, slowing, or generally inhibiting their attack abilities so your own team can attack more efficiently Cooldown - After certain attacks or spells are used, the cooldown is the time before the attack can be used again Crit Hit - Critical Hit : When the maximum amount of damage for an attack is reached, it is called a critical hit Debuff - Spell that decreases a beneficial attribute of a Mob or yer (can also be obtained through poisons/etc, depending on the game) DOT - Damage over Time : When a spell or attack deals damage over a period of time DPS - Damage Per Second EXP - Experience : points received for killing mobs,pleting quests, etc; used to increase in level and strength Grinding - Killing mobs for experience without regard to a quest or other goal HP / Health Points / Hit Points - measure of a character''s life; decreases upon injury Instance - A specific area that exists only to a particr to a specific yer or group of yers Kill Steal - Killing a Mob another yer was in the process of attacking (generally for the purpose of stealing the EXP and/or loot drop) Kite/Kiting - Tactical technique that reduces the amount of melee damage taken; generally involves using ranged attacks, then running away, then ranged attack, then running, all while the mob chases you, until it dies (hopefully without ever getting near enough tond a hit) Leech - Stealing experience and/or items; Sometimes a yer will follow closely behind a group or higher-level yer as they perform a specific quest. The group does all the work clearing a path to the quest and the leech can thenplete the quest without doing all the work Loot - Objects obtained as rewards for killing mobs,pleting quests, opening chests, etc. Melee - Closebat attacks performed with martial arts or with melee weapons: swords, axes, hammers, daggers, scythes, etc MMORPG - Massively Multiyer Online Role-ying Game Mob - "Mobile objects" / "Mobile Object Blocks" OR "Monster or Beast" : generic term for non-yer entity whose primary purpose is to be killed for experience, quest objective, or loot. They tend to be aggressive to all yers MP / Mana Points / Magic Points - measure of how much magic a character has to cast spells MPK - Monster yer Kill : luring a monster to kill another yer MT - Main Tank : (See "Tank") Most highly skilled defensive yer, who holds aggro for difficult mobs so the other members of the party can focus on attacking without needing to take hits Nerf - To reduce the capabilities, power, or attributes of a weapon or attack, or even an entire race/ss; in an attempt by the developers to bnce game y Noob/n00b/newb (etc) - New or inexperienced yer (generally an insult) NPC - Non-yer Character (entity in game controlled by the gameputer) OT - Over Threat/Off-Tank : When another party member identally pulls aggro from the Main Tank; this yer usually doesn''t have the defensive capabilities of dealing with the aggro and taking hits, or they would have been the MT. Sometimes, parties with many capable tanks will purposefully have Off-Tanks to split up the defensive duties. PC - yer Character (character controlled by a human yer) PK - yer Kill : killing another yer PvE - yer vs Environment : Fighting against Mobs and other game-controlled enemies PvP - yer vs yer : Fighting against yer controlled characters Regen - Regenerate : depending on the game, mobs and/or yers may have functions to automatically regenerate HP, MP, and/or SP. Mobs, especially elite mobs, often have a HP regen function that allows them to regain HP during a fight, so the yers fighting have to deal more damage per second than the mob can heal SP / Stamina Points - measure of a character''s stamina; meaning greatly changes depending upon game y Stun - Attack that stops a yer or mob from attacking (and usually moving at all); usually onlysts a short time Tank - Character with inherent high armor factor, high defense, high strength; they can take more damage than most characters. Used to Hold Aggro during team fights so lower-defense characters don''t take damage. (Also makes it easier on healers if they only have to focus on Tanks) VRMMORPG - Virtual Reality Massively Multiyer Online Role-ying Game Zerg - An attack in which you overwhelm the enemy with excessive numbers Call for Suggestions Call for Suggestions Hey Peeps! Author Seshata here! If you haven''t read the novel yet, this auxiliary chapter won''t make much sense, but after you read Chapters 77 - 85, feel free toe on back here! Because this is a video game novel, I''ve been experimenting with a variety of chapter formats, and most recently, that includedments sections on the Main Character''s MMO LiveStreams. Rest assured, although I had ALL THE FUN writing these alternative-form chapters, I don''t use this format too frequently. I don''t want it to get stale or feel overused. It does seem popr, and I enjoy writing this way, so I''ll be using it every once in a while to mix things up, particrly when our main characters run dungeons. And in general, I''m thinking about weaving a few forumments into chapters now and then even when I don''t summarize the video like this, so you''ll know that all the craziness you just read was faithfully uploaded by our boy Taliesin. But not gonna lie, I kinda peaked with "MothaEffinOedipus" and "Ivan the Tolerable." (I''m stupidly tickled by those usernames because I''m a shameless woman who giggles at my own jokes.) So if anyone has a username suggestion, please feel free to share! Consider this is a Call for Usernames/Call for Characters! I''m going to start a discord channel on my server specifically for this, so I can keep track of the suggestions (invite code: hqJDEew). Or, you can justment directly on this Auxiliary Chapter! I definitely won''t be able to use them all, but I''ll randomly select a few each time I use thements format! Also, since the forum is a good way to incorporate/introduce a bunch of characters, I''m also epting Character Suggestions! If you have a character idea that you think would fit well into this insane world of mine, feel free to PM or Chapter Comment your character idea. Try to use the Stat Window I already use in the game (and the races, obviously), though if you want to use D&D stats, that works too. I CANNOT PROMISE I WILL USE YOUR CHARACTER. I also cannot promise that I won''t use parts of your character and change other parts. I have most characters pretty well mapped out in my story, so there''s not a ton of room for new ones. And even if I do use your character, I may very likely only use the avatar to kill them off in a group battle. If you are okay with that, though, then please, by all means send characters along! Xx - Seshata ----- Awesome Readers Whose Suggestions I''ve Stolen & Shamelessly Used in My Novel: (In no particr order, though Ka was the first reader I tantly stole from. One of her chapterments became the next chapter''s title! Plus, all y''all #eury shippers can thank the lovely Tiger Eyes for pretty much single-handedly willing that ship into existence. This list is not exhaustive, mainly because I constantly get amazing feedback and suggestions from readers, so I will be expanding! ) ~ Imagine Ka ~ WTSBW ~ Muzzy ~ Teraconic ~ Malcrow ~ Milos ~ DeArson ~ Pna ~ Alex_the_Hungriest ~ Tagnk ~ Wyvinar ~ Dazzlus ~ MDGames ~ Tiger Eyes ~ Spade Z ~ Bloody Tyran ~Namipa ~DunnieBunnie ~gHoistingGuy ~ Graves Dont Hate Me Cuz U Aint Me Don''t Hate Me Cuz U Ain''t Me Eric''s Hype ylist: --- Good As Hell Lizzo Survivor Destiny''s Child The Greatest Sia (feat. Kendrick Lamar) On Top of the World Imagine Dragons wless Remix Beyonc (feat. Nicki Minaj) Wavin'' g K''NAAN (Coca C Remix Version) ---(The year he went to the Olympics, everyone hated the official song, so they just sang this loudly to drown out the crappy song, until eventually the organizers gave up.) We Will Rock You Queen We Are the Champions Queen To Be the Best Tenacious D ---(The 1-minute version; Eric listens to it in his headphones during bathroom breaks at tournaments.) It''s My Life Bon Jovi No Limits Royal Deluxe Roar Katy Perry Scuse Me Lizzo ---(Eric and Xiuying''s getting ready to go out song, they''d sing it while checking themselves out in the mirror before leaving the apartment for awards ceremonies.) Bohemian Rhapsody Queen Formation Beyonc ---(Adorably, Eric thinks she means "y" as in "ying monsters" and when she says "Prove to me you got some coordination/ y trick, or you get eliminated" assumes Queen B must have been a guild raid leader.) Apuse Lady Gaga Another One Bites the Dust Queen ---(ys in Eric''s head when he''s on a genocide run.) Independent Women, Pt. 1 Destiny''s Child ---(Eric and Xiuying sang this while dancing around their new apartment, making it rain with Eric''s prize money and Xiuying''s money from her first sold patent). Lion Hollywood Undead Born This Way Lady Gaga Titanium David Guetta & Sia Monster Skillet Anime OST Log Horizon 2 - Main Theme Naruto Shippuden - Night Attack Date A Live - Ground Zero Haikyuu!! The Battle of Concepts Sword Art Online Ordinal Scale Delete Attack on Titan Attack on Titan Theme Guren no Yumiya Ace of Diamond - Grow Stronger Day by Day, Sawamura Theme Tower of God Top by Stray Kids One Punch Man The Hero!! Set Fire to the Furious Fist! Haikyuu!! Youchou ck Butler Book of Circus Opening Theme Enamel Sword Art Online - Survive the Swornd Ace of Diamond Act II - To Appear, Hongo Masamune Theme No Game No Life This Game by Konomi Suzuki Chapter 1: Princess Peach is Peak Petty Chapter 1: Princess Peach is Peak Petty There is a beautiful moment inpetition that cannot be adequately described by a person who slept through high school lit, but I''ll try anyway: Fucking awesome. It''s how I describe that extraordinary moment when you realize you''ve just won something unbelievable. Could be a championship title, could be a game against a rival you were ted to lose, could be a new personal best record after you thought you''d already hit your peak. Dennis Fong, Guinness World Records'' first professional gamer, said the moment happened for him ten seconds before his first national Quake tournament ended. He realized he''d won when he had the time during his final battle to look at the grand prize Ferrari in the reflection of his monitor. I''ve been luckier than most; I can point to twelve moments of fucking awesomeness. All three times my pro eSports team won our League Championship make the list, because let me tell you, it doesn''t matter how many times you win a championship, it''s just as good the next time. It may even be better, actually. Your opponents know you better each time, prepare more thoroughly for your destruction. So when you defeat them anyway, wrangle glory from their grasp yet again, it feels so good. The day I beat the reigning Best Melee Ranger at a televised All-Star event and officially snatched the crown for myself was equally unbelievable. And though, yes, most of my best moments involve gaming, there are a few other special moments sprinkled in, too. The year I got six more Valentine''s choctes than ss golden boy Chaz Beaman hovers nearer the top of the list than I''mfortable admitting, given we were eleven at the time and most of my choctes came from my older sister''s friends who thought I was "too cuuute omg." I like to think it still bothers Chaz from time to time, when he''s sitting in his mansion surrounded by the other models he works with as the face of Dolce and Gabana. He may have a jaw chiseled by God''s master sculptor and aquamarine eyes so vivid they shame the ocean, but I''ve been told my dimples are charming, so. Of all twelve spectacr moments of my short life, three stand apart from the rest: --- 1) Seven years old Beat my older sister Xiuying at a videogame for the first time. Vintage N64 MarioKart, Toad''s Turnpike. The dulcet tones of that high-pitched "Bingo! Bye Bye!" as my Princess Peach red-shelled her DK into oing trafficI still hear it in my dreams, sometimes. (Say what you will about the annoying royal, but Peach has achieved peak petty. I aspire to reach her level one day.) --- 2) Sixteen years old Beat out friends, rivals, a couple dicks I hated anyway, and my parents''pleteck of expectations, to win ESPN eSports Rookie of the Year. I thanked my sister during my speech, because I wanted her to know I was grateful, and I told the MarioKart story, because I also wanted to piss her off. It worked. (In fact, my speech even pissed off people who were not my sibling. The old "Bingo! Bye Bye!" soundbite had a short resurgence right after, especially in FPS games with cross-faction audio. You know what''s worse than falling to a headshot? Hearing Princess fucking Peach shaming your dead ass as you wait to respawn from said headshot. I think some gamers who died a lot during that period may also hear my beloved Petty Princess in their dreamsor, well, their nightmares.) Anyway, at least the press thought the story was adorable. Smiling, Xiuying waved at the press cameras with her left hand; with her right, she texted me the most impressive thread of expletives and vicious emojis I''ve ever had the privilege to receive, depicting anatomically-suspect violence involving my shiny new trophy and a number of orifices. Contrary to her graphic threats, however, I caught her dusting my trophy not two weekster. She also sent a picture of it and the oversized ceremonial check of championship prize money to our parents, every single day for a year. Each unique picture featured the different rooms of the spacious apartment we could now afford, our fancy af team headquarters, and when she finally ran out of ideas, she just ced the trophy next to tes of expensive food she ordered in high-end restaurants around the city. Thosest two weeks tore through a few months of our food budget, but I didn''t have the heart to curb her admirable shamelessness. Plus, she wasn''t the only one still pissed at our parents for kicking me out and then going as far as cutting off Xiuying''s university tuition payments to punish her for taking me in. Seems petty runs in the family. --- 3) Eighteen years old Beat a series of insanely OP Asian team lineups (whoever designed the bracket so that we''d have to face Russia, China, and South Korea was clearly drunk) to lead Team USA to Olympic Gold. Honestly, there were a lot of fucking awesome moments during that whole crazy tournament, but the primo moment was about twelve seconds before the final HP bar disappeared to the sound of thunderous apuse. My so-stupid-nobody-could-have-predicted-itst second n had worked; I had survived a certain death AoE explosion with 4 HP remaining. More importantly, my own AoE skill hadnded on the two enemy yers, and my skill''s stunsted one second longer than theirs. Iunched forward and used abo knockback to send them both flying in opposite directions. Then I pounced on the ranged fighter. Before the melee Monk made it halfway back to the fight, I had already delivered the finishing blow to the Mage and spun to face my final opponent. The Monk still had over half his HP. One skill hit, one--maybe two--regr strikes, and I''d be a corpse. But he''d have tond a hit, first. I never gave him that chance. Eight secondster, I cemented Team USA''s first Olympic gold in eSports and cemented my own tournament MVP victory. My abilities hit an insane peak during that Olympics, and for the first time in eSports history, a single yer had three y of the Year nominations. Surprisingly, that epic eight-second takedown, eventually named the de Fury Combo, only managed 2nd ce. To my annoyance, my ultra-stupid move a few seconds earlier ultimately took the top spot. The impossible-to-replicate life-saving move involved slicing a boulder and essentially juggling hunks of rock on my dual des, only to usest-second sword skills with one sword to urately fling half of them at the Falling Starfire explosives directly above me. Near-simultaneously, I used a separate skill with the second sword to release the rest of the stones in an arc. Then I activated Silent Steps to make my steps featherlight and ran from stone to stone, making it to the highest stone at the same time Falling Starfire exploded the ground beneath me, flinging me and my rocks towards my opponentsthe direction I''d tilted the final stone. Kids, don''t try that at home. It was the kind of move desperation inspires, and I was very familiar with desperation. My ystyle has always been a bit insane, dodging within a hairsbreadth as often as possible, letting myself be blown up as long as I think I can use the ensuing dust or smoke cover to make another attack. I''m known as Lunatic Lieu the Reckless Ranger because there''s very little difference in my wild y between full health and when my HP dips into the dreaded Red. The eSportsmission actually added a slew of new records to its list because of me: Longest Time Spent in the Red Zone - Career & Single Tournament Most Kills while in the Red Zone - Career & Single Tournament Most Damage Taken by Area of Effect Skills - in a Single Tournament. (This one truly unlucky healer snagged the Career version of thatst title. He does not seem as proud of his record as I am of mine.) --- The best thing about all these great moments is that the life led in between each of the greatest moments is full of still-pretty-awesome experiences. The road to every championship is paved with countless smaller victories, harsh defeats that make you appreciate the wins even more, and a passion for pushing forward that nothing can quell. However, there is one other distinctive moment inpetition, one that is as far from awesome as it''s possible to be. It''s a moment akin to death. For some, it feels even worse. It''s the moment you realize it''s all over. The moment you realize you will never be the best again. The moment you realize there will be no more fucking awesome moments. I must have used up my lifetime luck allotment, experiencing so many glorious moments before I hit twenty, because when that final horrible moment came, it came with fire and blood and haunting screams. Neen years old The beautiful dream that was my life ended. Chapter 2: Suspicious AF Email Chapter 2: Suspicious AF Email The nightmare that is mediocrity fills me with a dread far deeper than any Red Zone. At least in death, I always had a chance to go out with a bang. Sacrifice myself for something worthwhile. An ordinary life might not be so bad, if I hadn''t experienced the extraordinarya life of sess, of genius, of meaning. But the fact is, I know what could be. So I know just how far removed I am from that ideal, now. --- You know how you never really appreciate nostrils until you catch a cold? Most of the time, it''s like, Ugh, nostrils, who needs em? But when you can''t breathe through your nose and you''re hunched in a nket that is somehow too warm and yet incapable of keeping your toes from bing icicles, and you''re miserable and gross, surrounded by crumpled tissues, it''s like, How did I never appreciate the delicate beauty of functioning nostrils before this moment? Turns out radial nerves are a lot like nostrils. Or, well. It turns out that like nostrils, a radial nerve is one of those body parts no one really cares about until the day it stops doing its job. Neurotmesis. That''s what the surgeon calls the source of my living nightmare. It''s when both the protective nerve sheath and the fragile nerve inside arepletely severed. The weird thing is I didn''t feel a thing when the nerve was destroyed. One second, I was a perfectly functioning, whole human being, and the next, a chunk of my upper arm was gone, and I was left wondering what the hell happened in the middle. The pain cameter. It seemed to regret cking while I was numb in shock because it showed up ready to give 110% like an entry-level sryman with a promotion on the line and something to prove to his father-inw. It still res up now and then. Not when it''s about to rain or anything, like old guys say happens to them, because shit, that would be useful. No, my pain''s a fickle lover, always returning when it''s least convenient. When I pour cereal, when I walk my dog, when I jerk off in the shower. When I try to grip my mouse. Seems pretty stupid to me that some nerve I''d never even heard of could be so damned important. Bet you didn''t know the radial nerve was in charge of wrist movement and sensory input for every finger but the pinky. Hell, maybe you did. Maybe you didn''t spend hours every night gaming, so maybe you didn''t sleep through half your sses, so maybe you were awake for that anatomy lesson and you understand exactly what thatidenttook from me. Everything. --- The thing about a catastrophic event that takes away your purpose for living but not your actual life, is that you still have to, you know, live. Talk about a kick in the ol'' nutsack. One thing I''ve learned during thest couple years of barely getting by is that "eptance" is bonafide bullshit. It''s not like I''m in denial about being a worthless POS or anything. I get it. I''m not delusional. But I''m incapable of stemming the stupid glimmers of hope that rise every time a new medical article pops up touting advances in nerve regeneration techniques, or another "miraculous recovery" scam makes waves online. So I guess that might exin why I opened that suspicious af email. {SUBJECT: LEAVE MUNDANITY BEHIND. ENTER A WORLD WHERE DREAMS ARE REALITY} Who tf would click on that? This guy, that''s who. And screw you, guy out there thinking "Poor, stupid bastard, that was definitely insidious malware and some random dude in Moldova is totally using your stolen identity to buy high-end holo tvs and higher-end strippers." Wrong. That email was a personal invitation from Vir-Tech R&D. You heard me. entric genius inventor and programmer Zhao Jianyu''s private virtual realitypany, Vir-Tech. -- {Dear Mr. Eric Lieu, I am writing to share exciting news about reality-defying new technologyunching soon from Vir-Tech! The world''s first full-immersion VRMMORPG Viren''s Refuge is ted for a New Year''s release! Prepare to enter a world unlike any you''ve ever experienced. Myths and legendse to life in this game of Gods and Monsters. Through grueling quests and raging battles, who will rise up as the Hero of Ages to save the Nine Mythic Realms from falling to chaos? V-Havens, Vir-Tech''s proprietary deep-dive VR technology, will be avable for purchase in advance of the Viren''s Refuge release. We at Vir-Tech have always valued quality, talent, and passion. Mr. Lieu, your impressive career has illustrated how you embody all three. We invite you to once again put all your notable gifts on the line and help us raise Viren''s Refugeand the future of virtual realityto even greater heights. Because of your unique circumstances, you have been selected as the perfect candidate for our closed beta. Please click on the secure link below to register and learn more. Respectfully Yours, Chen Ai Lun Head of Vir-Tech Research & Development "In the heart of a gamer can the potential of mankind be found. To nurture this potential, Games must belong to the Gamers." Zhao Jianyu, CEO and Founder of Vir-Tech} -- I read the email a dozen times before my dazed brain finally remembered how words work. Then I read it all over again, just to make sure I hadn''t hallucinated the entire thing. Then I furiously searched online for any mention of Vir-Tech and Viren''s Refuge. Wasn''t hard to find. Every corner of the inte buzzed with the same news: One hour ago, Vir-Tech''s enigmatic CEO suddenly held a press conference to confirm that hispany had been secretly developing the world''s most cutting-edge virtual reality technology. And then he unveiled the V-Haven immersion pod and a teaser trailer for Viren''s Refuge. Finally sumbing to a solid freak out, I reopened my email tab. This time, I didn''t hesitate to follow the link. It led to a secure page on the official Vir-Tech website. My good hand shook so much I could barely scroll through the contract. At the end, I finally understood what the R&D woman had meant by "unique circumstances." How many pro-level yers still in their mental prime had the time to participate in a beta like this? The first VRMMORPG had the promise to be incredible, but being the first came with certain challenges. It seemed Vir-Tech was already all too aware of this; the contract stipted that beta testers were required to devote twenty hours a week to assigned in-game tasks and at least another twenty hours to free y. And the beta was scheduled to run three months, minimum. I probably should have taken some time to think it over. Walked my dog while I weighed pros and cons. Called my agent to look over theplex contract and strict NDA. Instead I signed the contracts and registered my ount faster than I''d managed to type anything since the ident. I like to pretend it was my fragile, still flickering hope that led me to open that email, or even that it was fate or some grand ineffable n. But the real reason I chose to log in to Viren''s Refuge was much simpler. I missed games. I missed immersing myself in new worlds, honing skills, spending too many hours hunting for an Easter egg that may not even exist. I missed being the best. I missed training to be even better. Nothing in this world could have stopped me from grabbing any chance to get all of that back. Chapter 3: The Unique Difficulties of a Shitshow Chapter 3: The Unique Difficulties of a Shitshow Remember how I predictedunching the first VRMMORPG would involve unique challenges? Well. This beta is a straight shitshow and a half. But this game. This fucking game. Take all the world''s best inventionsand I mean we''re talking seriously rad shit like frozen pizza, lightsabers, PornHub, tagless shirtsandbine all their innate greatness, and then maybe just MAYBE you could understand the overwhelming glory that is this fucking game. It doesn''t matter how many times I end up trapped in a rock wall after a dungeon glitch or one-hit killed by a buggy OP slime. It doesn''t matter how many thousands of times the AI system has me roll forward, backward, and sideways in varying gear and equipment. It doesn''t even matter that for an entire month, the system force-changed my avatar to female because it wanted moreparison data and there weren''t enough female yers. I would take literally any abuse from this machine ande back begging for more. And I''m not alone. All of us beta testers are obsessed. From Vir-Tech''s standpoint, our obsession is great news. It means that when so many problems pop up in the first two hours that we''re force-logged out for six days, all 1500 of us show up withoutint on day seven, pumped to get back to it. And we seriously get to it. The average skill level of the testers is impressively high. Unfortunately, this means that after every update, there''s a slew of skills and weapons nerfed by the system because we''d demonstrated how OP they were. Only in the hands of an expert can a weapon''s true potential be seen, after all. I''m sure I''m not the only one who thought about faking it with a particrly cool (and seriously broken) weapon, but the system is too smart for that. It uses our innate gamer mentality against us. Every time a weapon or skill drastically changes stats, the system shows the name of the yer who proved the need for the update and a video of the yer kicking too much ass. For about a month, it became every beta tester''s mission to im the update call for as many broken weapons as possible. My avatar Dregs imed 3 weapons and 2 skills, and the video of me juggling a Giant Horned Boar with this badass little auto-return throwing dart with way too high an explosive knock-up effect won Best Broken Battle in the yer-run poll. In many ways, the yer-run aspects of the game are some of my favorite parts of the beta. The world chat and forums are constantly filled with the kind of pro-level analysis I''ve really missed since my days with Team Digital Discord. And, naturally, there''s the pro-level trash-talk, which I''ve missed even more. --- Nightfury: found a 20-man dungeon Nightfury: anyone up for a run? Dregs: Where? Nightfury: R2 - Karnak Dregs: Sweet. Dregs: Dregs: Yo! Found a 20-man on Realm 2, anyone up for a run? zing Fists: +1 Spike: +2 Ivan the Tolerable: 6-man party r2g Nightfury: wtf guys?! Dregs: Sorry bro. About to run a dungeon. Can''t help you in Karnak rn Nightfury: I can literally see you. zing Fists: *waves* Nightfury: fuuuck all of you! Lilith: I didn''t think DreamWorks allowed swearing Lilith: +10 Ivan the Tolerable: shaaaame shame dragon! Pliny: Rated R for Language (+11) Nightfury: PKPKPK!!!!! Hot Dog: and Violence (+12) Lilith: but not for Sexual Content Dregs: Never for Sexual Content Ivan the Tolerable: poor lonely dragon Gentle Rains: 5-man here! God: I''ll join, too. God: So the crippled dragon rounds us out? Dregs: God has spoken. So shall it be. Let''s go, Nightfury! Gentle Rains: Is Nf that archer stomping away? zing Fists: *waves sadly* Spike: Sorry buddy. Goodbyes are always hard. Nightfury: I''m seriously going to kill all of you. Dregs: But dungeon first? Nightfury: Nightfury: fuck it. dungeon first. zing Fists: *waves* --- As if understanding the importance of keeping to some of its MMORPG roots, the system''s world chat opens a keyboard interface. There''s also Party Voice Chat and Party or Friend Video Chat. If you want to talk to someone not on your Friends list who is out of normal speaking range, you can only use the keyboard function. I think this is to limit the sending of unsolicited dick pics. Now, as solid as the social aspects of the game are, the game itself is of course what makes Viren''s Refuge the greatest of all time. First off, there''s the V-Havens. Inside each immersion pod is this bed of blue gel that faintly glows and is always the exact temperature of the cold side of the pillow. It breaks down and filters out sweat and waste, which is gross but useful, and regtes body temperature. (Unintended side effect: it also leaves skin soft and clear and my hair so silky I could star in a shampoomercial. I always kept my hair short so it wouldn''t get in the way while gaming, and I refused to be one of those boy band lookalikes always twitching his bangs out of his eyes like a spazzy tool. But now I''ve let it grow past my ears in a shaggy style thatdare I say it?looks kinda cool. Back in high school, Xiuying said that with my pale skin, light grey eyes, and ck hair, I could be the Google image result for ''Hot Biracial Boy.'' I was too scrawny and unkempt for it to be true then, but now *flips hair in mirror like absolute tool* -- *resolves to work out more so looking in mirror is less depressing* -- *flips hair again for good measure*) Outside, the V-Havens are sleek silver pods straight out of Star Trek, emzoned with the Vir-Tech logo: a hybrid Celtic/Norse-inspired World Tree with a Celtic knot trunk, gnarly, intertwined branches, and roots that form a human brain outline. The center branches curl into a V and R, for Viren''s Refuge as much as Virtual Reality, I''d guess. The Nine Mythic Realms of Viren''s Refuge are located on the in-game World Tree, just like the nine realms of Norse mythology hang out on Yggdrasil. But this game isn''t based on Norse mythology; or at least, not solely. Each of the Realms is based on apletely different mythology from human history. The full map hasn''t been officially released, but I''ve pieced together enough clues to make solid guesses about what''s toe. Celtic, Egyptian, and Greek for sure; those Realms were open during the beta. And Norse is a sure bet, given the abundance of references throughout the game. As for the others, looks like they''ll be based on Hindu, ancient Chinese, a Mesoamerican empire like the Mayans or Incans, Japanese Shinto and folk traditions, and an arctic indigenous culture. I''m also fairly certain that legendary heroes and monsters from all periods and regions of history could make special appearances at pretty much any time. Plus, just because there are only Nine Mythic Realms now doesn''t mean there won''t be dozens more in the future. The scope of this game is literally as limitless as the human imagination. It''s staggering. ording to an interview with Zhao Jianyu that was aired a couple months into the beta, "By understanding sacred myths and gaining wisdom from folk legends, humanity can evolve. Only by truly knowing ourselves can we learn what is necessary to grow. And only by understanding the stories that inhabit our world can we find a ce to belong." Every time that man speaks, it''s natural to want to shake your head and mockingly say, "That''s deep, bro." It''s human nature to be ufortable in the face of great truth. But there''s something about him, about his dream of creating something important that shakes the foundations of society. In anyone else, it would be narcissism, a godplex, hubris. But he fucking did it. Viren''s Refuge might be a mess at the moment, but it has the potential to change the course of the world. And I have the potential to help it lead the way. ------------------ Yeah, yeah, I know what you''re thinking: "Speaking of godplexes, does this guy even HEAR himself?" I''m not just speaking out of my ass here. I really am good at this game. Scary good, even. At times, it almost feels like this game was designed for me. Which yes, I know sounds even worse. I''m a narcissistic jackass. I get it. But check out where I''m standing. This is the in-game replica of the fucking Roman Coliseum during its prime, and I''m standing tall in the very center of the arena. What does that mean? It means that when the initial beta ended after four-and-a-half months of insanity, I officially ranked in the Top 100 Adventurers, based on in-game aplishments and overall contributions to the sess of the beta. A separate list ranked the Top 5 Lifestyle yers (of the 70 total) , since they had a very different beta experience from the rest of us. For the next month, we top adventurers shed again and again in a series of randomly-generated Team and 1v1 Battles, individually umting win-loss records to determine the bestbatants. Everyone who participated in the beta was invited to watch the spectacle, and NPCs flocked to the stands as well, so we were constantly battling in front of a hundred thousand screaming spectators. Highlight reels were posted online throughout the month-long event. Dregs featured prominently in every release. At the end of the month, I was firmly in the Top 16. I would have ranked higher, but I struggled more than I thought I would in the early rounds of the teamps. It didn''t happen every time, but the familiar feeling of the team battles sometimes shook my concentration, and memories of emptiness, of brokenness, of sterile walls and too-bright lights and muffled crying would crash my brain. Worse, during two of the individual battles, shes from oing mage attacks brought me straight back to the ident, and I saw only blood and fire and the end of everything. PTSD''s a bitch, folks. But I learned methods to counteract the lesser attacks and convincing ways to fake it til I make it back to my full senses. If the yers knew how many times I''d bluffed and stalled when they for sure could have destroyed me in seconds, I might spontaneouslybust from the murderous rage aimed at me all at once. After a rest week, those of us who made the Top 16 entered a two-day single-elimination 1v1 championship tournament. These fights were live-streamed to generate even more interest before Viren''s Refuge officialunch. The beta-long steady stream of extremely well-edited teasers and promo vids, coupled with the infrequent sanctioned posts and updates from the beta testers, seeded in hyping Viren''s Refuge in a way no game had ever been hyped. Millions of people worldwide tuned in to watch the game''s capabilities in real time. Day one of the championship, 16 became 8, became 4, became 2, and still I remained standing. Chapter 4: The Thirteenth Moment Chapter 4: The Thirteenth Moment Twenty-one years old This exact moment right now, I''m experiencing my Thirteenth Fucking Awesome Moment. It''s the final seconds of the Beta Tournament of Champions Last Battle, and my mind has reached a level of rity I didn''t know was possible. It''s as if the scarlet-armored swordsman across from me has slowed to a crawl, his every move and countermove telegraphed eons in advance so I have infinite time and space to choose the perfect attack. The roar of the crowd hasn''t faded to the background; instead, I hear each individual cheer and chant and heartbeat thundering at me from every corner of the arena. My hands are steady My hands. Are steady. Both of them. Steady and firm and perfect and whole. and my heart is calm, and when the crimson sword thrusts toward my chest, I dodge with a light twist. Half a centimeter separates life from death, but it might as well be half a league. I will never allow that de to hit its mark. My curved des, so pitch-ck they look more like dagger-shaped voids, rend through the air with such speed that by the time the scarlet swordsman feels the first sh, all seven moves of my Chakra Burst skill havended. He doesn''t even have time to feel shocked before thest dregs of his HP drain away. As the triumphant music sounds and my name shes high in the arena, all I know is that fucking awesome moment number thirteen is all the sweeter given I never believed I''d get another. Today, the beta ends, and I am the champion. Tomorrow, the real game begins, and I am reborn. ------- The scarlet swordsman regens (regenerates) in the special raised section of the stands reserved for tournament participants, leaving me alone in the center of the Coliseum. I half-expect to hear chants of "Maximus! Maximus!", but I''m probably the only weirdo my age who watches old turn-of-the-century films. The arena starts shaking, and I barely have time to think, ''Oh shit. Is this where the man-eating tiger leaps out of the trapdoor?'' before a section of ground starts rising. Up, up, I soar twenty meters into the air atop my own mini-mountain. I y it cool, but it''s a serious struggle to keep my bnce. After surviving this long, however, I refuse to be taken down by a damn mole hill. A ck, pixted rift opens in the sky, and a deep, booming voice reverberates throughout the arena: "Congrattions, yer. Your glorious victory heralds the beginning of a new era!" Cheers fill the Coliseum, so loud the air vibrates with the force of the crowd''s enthusiasm. It''s probably a coding glitch, but it feels pretty damn cool regardless. A colossus of a man crosses through the rift and falls to the arena in a perfect Superhero Landing crouch, his fist leaving a small crater. I know science and physics and whatever is all, "Landing like this is actually real dumb," but man, if it doesn''t look badass as hell. When the avatar stands, I realize why I''ve been raised so high. Next to this Titan, I''m minuscule. He''s pure, rippling muscle covered by scraps of gold cloth wrapped toga-style. A giant eagle sits on his shoulder and dazzling mes halo his head and enshroud his fists. Prometheus. In Greek mythology, he''s the Titan who stole the fire of the gods to help humans, only to be punished for eternity. For defying the gods, he was chained to a rock where, every day, an eagle woulde eat his liver, only for it to regrow back to be re-eaten the next day. Greeks, man. Savage AF. ording to this sweet book on world mythology Xiuying gave me for my eighth birthday, Prometheus is seen as the father of human civilization, a lone genius striving to improve humanity through the arts and scientific advancement. And excuuuse the fuck out of you, judgey dude who looks all skeptical that I''ve read a book. I''ve read books. Just not boring ones. I swear, if teachers assigned decent stuff, like sci-fi webnovels or sports manga (gay vibes or no, that shit is solid) or even a bajillion-page fantasy series full of swords, magic, and questionably appropriate sex scenes, I would have graduated first in my ss. Teachers think all us gamers couldn''t find symbolism if it danced in front of us wearing shiny nipple pasties, but the truth is, we are the kings of literary analysis. We scour entire worlds looking for scraps of symbolic details that might lead to major quests. We have full-on Socratic seminars on forums debating map motifsgranted, the spelling leaves a bit to be desired, and there''s a lot more insulting of mothers than I assume old Socrates and his pals were into, but that might be because those dudes were into marrying their moms. If Oedipus had had ess to inte porn, things might have turned out different. At any rate, it doesn''t take my sophisticated gamer brain long to figure out who''s controlling this avatar. Who else could be a scientific innovator determined to improve humanity? Zhao Jianyu. Thankfully, my face only alternates between two expressionssurly frown and smug-ass smirkbecause internally I am fanboying REAL HARD, and if I looked as giddy and starstruck as I feel, it would permanently damage my image. Hey, I have an image. People think I''m mysterious, okay? Broody, even. (Also ''an arrogant asshole'' and, ording to my sister''s best friend in middle school, ''a scrawny punk with the soul of a cantankerous old man.'') Currently, I''m feeling happy and proud, so smug-ass smirk it is. When I catch sight of my avatar in one of the holo-projections designed so everyone in the arena has a perfect view of the action, even I want to punch myself. Prometheus raises a fiery hand and with a voice that rumbles like distant thunder, greets the crowd: "Good afternoon, intrepid yers. I am Zhao Jianyu." Boom, called it. Pretty sure my smirk just got even smirkier. "Thanks to all your hard work, Viren''s Refuge has reached new heights and will sessfullyunch at midnight, China Standard Time, December 31st." More deafening cheers. This time, I''m right there with them, screaming my brains out. Luckily, Zhao Jianyu''s Prometheus voice is loud enough he doesn''t have to wait until the cheers die out, or he''d never make it through his speech. He turns his giant form to stare down at me. It''s only mildly terrifying. "Dregs, as a reward for your exceptional effort and talented disy, I am gifting you the V-Haven you''re currently using, as well as a full year''s subscription to Viren''s Refuge and a special in-game gift." If avatars could faint, I''d be making like a damsel in a too-tight corset and straight-up swooning right now. "Th-tha-" I stutter. My mouth''s suddenly too dry, so I swallow twice, then cough like an idiot. Finally, I manage to get out a simple, "Thank you, sir!" I mentally smack myself and sigh. Real smooth, Eric Lieu. "Furthermore," Zhao Jianyu continues, ignoring my idiocy, "every other yer in the Adventurer Top 16 and the Lifestyle Top 5 will receive a free six-month subscription and unique in-game gift. The other adventurers who ranked in the Top 100 will also receive in-game gifts." The lucky yers jump to their feet, screaming and fist pumping. I even see some hugging, and one guy who tries to take advantage of the jubnt mood by kissing the gorgeous spear warrior next to him. He technically seeds. .. before she stabs him in the groin with a dagger she''d been hiding somewhere. Which she then leaves lodged to act as a conductor for her spear''s lightning attack. I have never been more simultaneously terrified and turned on in my life. For obvious reasons, the area around the brutal beauty suddenly clears out, so she uses the tip of her spear to flip the crying guy down a few rows. Then she sits back in her seat, calm as you please. I can''t help it. I burst outughing. Sucks to be that guy, for sure, but it was a total dick move on his part, so I can''t find it in me to feel sorry for the jackass. Besides, it''s not for nothing she made it to the semi-finals of the Tournament of Champions. He really should have seen thising. She looks up then, and our eyes meet. Toote, I realize the sounds from the arena floor are still being amplified throughout the stadium. Her electric violet eyes make phantom goosebumps run up my arms; Viren''s Refuge hasn''t coded that particr simtion, but I feel it all the same. I shiver, but I don''t look away. On the contrary, I stare back as intensely as she''s staring at me. Silvery-white hair falls past her shoulders; thevender-tinted ends curl just below the curve of her gleaming breastte. More streaks ofvender are visible in the borate braids she uses to keep her hair out of her eyes, tied together in a high half-knot in back. Her high cheekbones are tinged the palest pink, her lips only a shade darker. Her dark violet eyes are even more vivid nestled within her fair, peaches-and-creamplexion. She''s the kind of beautiful that inspires lovesick men to write shitty, angsty songs. She''s the kind of terrifying that inspires dickless men to write shitty, angsty "A woman''s ce is in my kitchen wah wahh I''m a wanker" blog posts. Speaking of, the wanker she electrocuted is finally upright. He''s red-faced in affronted fury, and he ps away the helpful hands of his friends holding him up. He whirls around, leaps onto the stone bench, and shrieks, "You bitch!" Without thinking, I grab the dart from my belt and throw it straight at his boots. A small explosion knocks him into the air, and a dagger thrown from the opposite direction hits him square in the junk. Again. This time, he flies clear out of the stands and crashes onto the arena floor. Sighing, I examine the dart automatically returned to my fingers. "Pity they fixed you," I mutter. "I could have juggled him right out of the stadium!" Laughter fills the arena, and I remember, yet again, that everyone can hear me. Oops. NPC guards cart the groaning idiot off who cares where. I catch the pale beauty''s eye and see two more daggers ready to fly from those long, graceful fingers. I grin, totally enamored by her decisive-yet-elegant violence. What can I say? I''m a battle maniac. The barest hint of a smile quirks up one corner of her mouth and she lightly nods her thanks. I shrug to say, "You would have handled it fine on your own." She rolls her eyes to say, "Obviously," but then nods again to add, "but even so. Thanks." I cheekily wink a "You''re wee," and she responds with the single-most unimpressed eyebrow raise I''ve ever seen. Iugh again. She crosses her arms and shakes her head. Zhao Jianyu pointedly clears his throat. I jolt back to reality. Holy shit. I think I just flirted with a girl. A hot girl. A super hot girl who stabs people and electrocutes them with lightning sts, and I think I''m in love. And thus I discover an entirely new kind of Fucking Awesome Moment. Chapter 5: Zhao Jianyu is a Crazy MoFo Chapter 5: Zhao Jianyu is a Crazy MoFo "Ahem. I''ll continue then, shall I?" Zhao Jianyu looks down at me. Three parts mortified, one part mystified by whatever insane cosmic anomaly just allowed me to flirt with the hottest girl I''ve ever seen, I nod and weakly wave for him to go on. Afraid of identally making eye contact with the gorgeous spear warrior again, now that I''m back to my senses and realize I have no fucking clue what I''m doing, my light gray eyes sweep across the 1400 yers who didn''t qualify for the special prizes. Though they''d pped politely when the Top 100 had been praised, most couldn''t keep their faces from contorting in envy. Seeing Zhao Jianyu about to speak again, half of them lean forward, hoping the giant might have something to offer them as well. He doesn''t disappoint. "Those who did not rank at the top, fear not. Your time may yete. Every member of the beta test is guaranteed priority registration for the officialunch of Viren''s Refuge and the limited release V-Haven full-immersion pods." "Helllllllls yes!" a yer wielding a huge battle axe yells. Laughter and cheers once again fill the Coliseum. Prometheus'' mouth twitches into a small smile. "I''m d you recognize the value of such a benefit. As you may have surmised, the technology necessary to run Viren''s Refuge isplex and delicate. 73% of theponent parts of the V-Havens alone are Vir-Tech proprietary designs." Wow. I guess I shouldn''t be surprised about that, given how awesome the V-Havens are, but I''m still shocked. How long has Vir-Tech been secretly developing this tech? How much of a freaking genius is Zhao Jianyu? "Complexity, as always, equals increased costs and decreased production volume. At this time, Vir-Tech will only be able to sell 50,000 V-Havens. We project the game will have progressed to at least the second Mythic Realm before the next round of yers will have the opportunity to join in." The lighthearted excitement morphs into a more intense, charged atmosphere. Everyone here understands how important the earliest stages of a new game are for yers determined to riseand stayat the top. With such a small initial pool of yers, the odds of beta yers racing to the forefront are even higher than they''d normally be. I''m in no way immune to the electrifying thrill ofpetition permeating the air. My fingers itch to draw my dual des and get started. But then Zhao Jianyu speaks again, and this time, his words pour ice-cold water over the heated energy of the yers. "At this time, I will announce the official prices for the V-Havens and the monthly subscription to Viren''s Refuge. The V-Havens will cost 20,000 credits (CR). The subscription is priced at 1,250 CR a month." For a long moment, disbelief silences the crowd. Then the first outraged shout acts as the trigger for everyone else''s cries of protest. I don''t share my astonishment out loud, but I get where the dissenters areing from. Those prices are absolutely insane! The subscription alone is enough to afford a nice studio apartment. And the 20k for the V-Haven doesn''t even cover the nutrient solutions required to run the pods. Those go between 50 and 1500 CR depending on quality grade, and one bottle onlysts about 40 in-game hours, even if the yer doesn''t do anything insanely mentally strenuous. When I was working on raising the proficiency of the Chakra Burst skill, I went through an entire bottle of C-grade solution in 18 hours. At the cheapest, a yer is looking at 40,000 CR a year to y a video game. That''s absurd! "I understand your hesitancy," Zhao Jianyu replies to the dissenters. "But think about what you''re actually paying for. Viren''s Refuge is an entirely new world. Every yer is guaranteed in-game housing. Every yer has the chance to acquire a mount. Free transportation via teleportation will be avable as Realms are unlocked. Plus, I think everyone in this room is clever enough to understand the variety of money-making ventures this game will offer." He''s right about that; one of the most active threads on the beta forum focused on all the money-making schemes we could already tell would be viable in the future. At this point, I am solidly swayed. Sure, it''s a ton of money, but as Zhao Jianyu said, we''re essentially purchasing a second home and second car. Plus, Viren''s Refuge offers much cooler versions of each for far cheaper than they''d be in reality. I don''t have a death wish, though, so I don''t say anything. The guy who gets to y for free doesn''t get to speak right now. Even if I didn''t earn the free y reward, though, I''d still be ready to sign up tomorrow. I''d be practically bankrupted, but thest of my insurance money would cover the initial costs. Of course, if I hadn''t been sixteen and stupid when I originally signed my contract with Team Digital Discord or if my parents hadn''t been such unsupportive dicks I had to forge their signatures instead of having helpful, knowledgeable adults to read over the confusing legalese I would have enough savings tost a couple decades, easy. Unfortunately, I was, in fact, sixteen and stupid and believed myself invincible, so I signed away almost every cent of any possible insurance payout for a debilitating, career-ending injury. The team''s blown through most of my payout, training my recement, so I hear. Firmly moving away from that depressing train of thought, I sneak a nce at ol'' Prometheus. Through all the murmurs and some outright yells from people who are addicted to the game but worry they can''t afford to keep ying, Zhao Jianyu''s avatar never reveals any expression. I wonder if he''s actually that stoic or if he used his admin privileges to turn off his expression simtor to seem more cool and collected. Eventually, enough people realize they aren''t getting anywhere, and the voices quiet. I swear the Titan briefly closes his eyes and sighs, but when he speaks again, his face is a perfect stoic mask, and I wonder if I''ve imagined it. "I understand your hesitancy," he repeats, more quietly this time, "and I would never ask anything unreasonable from my beloved yers." His deep voice carries a gentle warmth now, so that he truly sounds like a benevolent immortal speaking to a group of cherished mortals. I inexplicably feel warm and cared for, until homesickness crashes into me like a tidal wave. "Understand that I have a valid reason for asking so much from you. From the moment Vir-Tech was founded fifteen years ago, I have never once epted a corporate investment. Everyst credit swallowed by the ravenous monster that is my overeager research and development department hase directly from my pockets." A new wave of shock spreads throughout the Coliseum, as all of us try to wrap our heads around this insanity. Who doesn''t ept investments? Whatpany doesn''t rely on them? "I have seen the path apany follows when it grants control to outside corporations. The path quickly veers into a crooked disarray of greed and unrted interests. A once-shiningpany is forever dimmed by the shadow of corruption. More than anything, I want Vir-Tech to avoid such a fate. I want Viren''s Refuge to truly be a refuge, a sanctuary, a home for humanity. I want the game to truly belong to the gamers." We all see it, then, Zhao Jianyu''s vision. And we, the gamers, for all we squabble and fight amongst ourselves, know that at our cores, we are the same. Our love of adventure, of mystery, ofpetition, connects us to each other and to the Viren''s Refuge of Zhao Jianyu''s dream. This time, when Prometheus sighs, I know it''s real. The pain in the sound hits me like a spear to the chest, and I reach up, as if to pull it out. "s, right when I''ve reached the threshold, I find my way blocked. Money," he grimaces in the way only a person who has had a lot of money can, "it alwayses back to money. And I, unfortunately, no longer have the funds necessary to provide my technology inexpensively. Especially after all the overtime I''m going to have to pay my employees in the weeks leading up to the release, given all the issues you pioneering betas discovered." That almost makes me feel guilty. "So I want to propose something a little unusual." Coming from this man, the phrase ''something a little unusual'' could literally mean anything, and most likely means ''something batshit insane no one would think of in a million years, yet look at me, I''m doing it, and it''s even going to work, even though all thews of EVERYTHING definitely say it should not work.'' "The first 50,000 sets of V-Havens and subscriptions will likely be the priciest yer investments for the game, especially given theck of definitive proof that the system will be worth the cost. By the time thepany develops future generation models of the gear, Viren''s Refuge should have proven its worth, so the high costs won''t be so difficult to swallow. Since the first yers are taking a risk to invest in mypany, mypany is willing to take a risk to invest in them." He pauses, as if to make sure we''re paying attention. Obviously, we all are. I don''t think anyone''s even breathing. "Shares." No. Fucking. Way. "Each of the first 50,000 yers to purchase a V-Haven and register for Viren''s Refuge will receive nonvoting shares in Vir-Tech. Within 5 years, I expect every one of the initial investors will have received the cost of the game back, likely multiple times. So the real question is, do you believe in this game enough to believe it will still be going strong in 5 years?" We all think back to thest few months of pure awesomeness. All 1499 yers nod. A real smile graces Prometheus'' face, transforming him into a figure I could absolutely imagine sneaking down to earth to teach us loveable munchkins how to build a civilization. "Naturally" Ha! Naturally, he says, as if anything out of his mouth follows the natural order of anything. "if I want this game to belong to the gamers, simply providing shares is not enough." Really? Feels like enough. I don''t think my heart can take any more than this. "I n to put up my own personal shares in thepany, as coteral of sorts. I am announcing to the world that I believe in my game, in mypany, in my vision, and in all of you." Oh my god, don''t believe in us, are you crazy? We''re a bunch of socially-awkward kids who like to y with swords and blow shit up! We are thest people on this deserving of trust, are you serious?! "My shares will be treated as gamemodities. yers who contribute most to the sess of the game will receive a greater number of shares. At the end of the initial Nine Mythic Realms conquest, the final yer Rankings will determine which yers deserve voting shares." He looks at me expectantly, so I know I''m supposed to be real psyched about whatever the hell voting shares are, but I barely graduated high school, so I''m just d I sort of know what a share is, periodassuming I''m right in assuming it''s like a stock thing, which I understand to be a money thing that can make a person a lot more money if thepany does well. Or something. Anyway, I try to make my surly frown look more ecstatic, but it must fail, because Prometheus sighs again, and this sigh I recognize in the depths of my soul. This is a bonafide ''I''m not mad, I''m just disappointed'' sigh, and I want to shrivel up and die. "Let me rephrase. The yers who rank at the very top of my game will prove they deserve everything my game has to offer, including the game itself. Essentially, when the ninth Mythic Realm is conquered, I will relinquish control of thepany. At that time, the yers who earned voting shares will take control and choose whichever direction thepany will take from that moment on. Atst, a game will belong to the gamers." Chapter 6: Sucks to Suck, Nutri-Peak Chapter 6: Sucks to Suck, Nutri-Peak I don''t remain idle during the six weeks leading up to New Year''s. Using money I''d originally set aside for a V-Haven and game subscription, I splurge on A-grade nutrient solution. When the Nutri-Peak salesdy exins how the bulk orders work and tells me the cost, I freeze, thumb hovering over the fingerprint scanner used for secure payments. Worried she''s about to lose a major sale, thedy starts talking faster, trying to sell me on how great a deal it is. I can''t help the half-hystericalugh that bubbles up, and her face tightens in even greater worry. She must get paidmission. She looks around to make sure her boss isn''t nearby and leans forward to whisper conspiratorially, "If youmit right now, I can throw in a box of De-Tox Tea and a case of Muscle Mead." I manage to get myself under control and whisper back, "Five cases, and I''ll take the 6-month n." "Done!" she agrees, quickly updating the order. I press my thumb to the scanner, and just like that, I''m 37,050 credits poorer. The saleswoman grins like she''s pulled off the greatest scam of her career. I barely make it outside before my own grin breaks out. I cannot believe how much I just screwed over Nutri-Peak. 37k may seem like a lot, but it''s nothing for six months of uninterrupted game time, especially at my neuro-intensity level. Nutri-Peak is underestimating Viren''s Refuge. Instead of charging per bottle, they''re selling A-grade bulk orders in 3-month, 6-month, and 1-year supplies. To determine pricing for the 6-month, they used the baseline: one 1500 CR bottle equals 40 hours game time equals one week of game time. Then they simply multiplied by 26 weeks and pped on a 5% discount to make it more appealing. V-Havens store four bottles of solution at a time, so as soon as the fourth bottle is essed, an alert is sent, and the next shipment is delivered same-day. Nutri-Peak must think most yers won''te close to 40 hours a week after the initial fervor dies down, especially since the server''s only open during the middle of the day in the US. And since the 40-hour benchmark is actually for the lower C/D-grade solutions, they''re expecting closer to 60 hours of game time per bottle of A-grade. They''re nning on making a ton of money when yers only use 1-2 bottles per month but their subscriptions charge them for 4.3. Fucking joke''s on them. Considering I''ll be spending the max-allotment 12 hours a day, 7 days a week in-game, and my neural output is almost twice the average, I''ll be going through 3 bottles every week. Sucks to suck, Nutri-Peak. If I had the money, I''d buy the 1-year n with its beautiful 8% discount in a bloody heartbeat. Unfortunately, by the time I make enough money in-game to upgrade, I''m sure they''ll have realized how badly they miscalcted. Figuring it''s best to keep this momentum going, I head to the gym near my apartment. It''s exactly what I''m looking for: open 24 hours, decent equipment, enough free weights for my needs but not enough to attract a horde of Grunters who''d transform the ce into a meathead Testosterone Pit. Plus, the gym offers mixed martial arts sses four nights a week. I manage to negotiate a reduced rate by paying a full year membership up front, and they offer a discount on one month of personal training. My trainer''s name is Ken, and he looks exactly how you''d expect a personal trainer named Ken to look. It''s almost enough to make me quit before I''ve even started, but I persevere. I keep reminding myself it''s all for the game. I do my best to ignore his frat t-shirt with the sleeves cut off to showcase his tanned muscles (even though it''s winter in Seattle for fuck''s sake; no one''s seen the Sun in months) and calmly exin my goals: Gain lean muscle. Enhance flexibility and agility. Improve endurance. Ken responds with an encouraging smile. His straight teeth are so blindingly white my eyes water. "Can do, bro!" He ps my back. I wish I had my dual des. "Ken''s got you. Ken knows just what you need!" Ken refers to himself in the third person. Of course Ken does. I remind myself if I kill Ken, they won''t let me bring my V-Haven to prison. Anything for the game, right? Sighing, I let Ken drag me to the agility course. --- "You look like shit, Lieu." "For shame, Deion, better not let your husband hear you flirting." I flutter my eyshes at my neighbor as I unlock my door. Deion''s concerned frown lightens at my easy teasing. He''d been worried about me, again. I swear he and his husband order shit online every day just so they have an excuse to ''coincidentally'' be in the hall picking up packages when they hear meing. I amp up my trademark smirk and let him know for the millionth time that I''m fine. Really, truly fine. Relieved, he winks at me. "Theo knows he''s the only one for me. Like I could give up his big, beautiful di" "Dimples!" I interrupt loudly. "Psh, we all know mine are superior. And speaking of superior, how''s my traitorous dog''s real best friend doing?" I ask the nine-year-old boy who''s appeared in Deion''s open doorway. Deion chokes, and if his skin weren''t dark brown, he''d be bright red. "G''morning, Eric!" Deion and Theo''s adopted son Robbie says, loud and energetic as ever. I raise a skeptical eyebrow. "It''s 7 at night, Robbie." "Yup, so, like mid-morning for you, right?" I mean, he''s technically not wrong. "All right then, good morning to you, too." "Need me to walk Pix?" Robbie asks, wiggling in excitement. "You don''t look so good." Ouch. In my defense, I''m more exhausted from the effort of not strangling Ken with an exercise band than from the three-hour work out, but I still look like death. Deionughs so hard he needs to lean on the doorframe. I re at him, then with a somewhat softer expression, I turn back to Robbie. "Thanks, but I took him for a long run today, so he won''t need to go out untilter." I can''t handle Robbie''s slump of utter dejection, so I add, "Never fear! He''ll be needing walks every day again, starting in January, so he''ll get plenty of time with his favorite little dude." Robbie literally jumps for joy. It''s stupidly adorable. "Yay! I can''t wait! But don''t feel sad, Eric. Pix loves you, too! Even if he likes me better!" As Robbie runs back into the apartment, I don''t know whether tough or cry at the little dude''s blunt savagery. "It''s your fault he''s so shameless, you know," Deion says, pushing off the doorframe. "How do you figure?" Deion just looks at me. I look back, wide-eyed innocence. Deion snorts. "Thanks for the save, earlier." "I''m telling Theo next time I see him." "You''re dead to me." Deion stomps into his apartment, andughing, I go into mine, ready for a beer and a bath. My dog Alopix (yes, after the Aln Vulpix Pokmon, fight me.) is waiting by the door, and I decide to believe the Samoyed''s spirited tail-wagging is purely enthusiasm about my return, and has nothing to do with him hearing Robbie outside. I carry my first Nutri-Peak deliveries to the table and open a bottle of Muscle Mead. The nd taste and chalky texture is ten kinds of awful, but I can feel the burn telling me the drink''s working overtime repairing my sore, shredded muscles, so that makes me finish the bottle in one go. If I drink one of these after every workout with Ken and the thankfully non-douchey MMA instructor, I should be able to put on a decent amount of muscle before theunch. Alopix the friendly neighborhood pr bear blocks the hall to the bathroom. Though he''s generally a chill floof, when he decides it''s time to go out, he''s impossible to ignore. His tilty-head pout and wistful stare break me down every time. This is Xiuying''s win as much as his, since she''d gotten him for me in the first ce because she wanted to make sure I''d regrly see the outside once I got serious about making a living gaming. With ast longing look in the direction of my bath, I ignore my aching muscles and turn right back around, gesturing for Pix to heel. With a cheerful bark, he bounds to my side, and together, we head out into the night. Chapter 7: Ever Ruler of Slaughter Chapter 7: Ever Ruler of ughter And so, six weeks pass uneventfully, yet nheless full. I suffer through Ken''s idiotic bro-ness until I can create my own bodyweight and free-weight circuits, run the agility course, and design a targeted flexibility stretching and dynamic warm-up routine. I get my ass royally kicked in the advanced MMA sses, but it''s so much better than time with Douche Doll Ken, it''s easy to keeping back for more. I go through a case and a half of Muscle Mead, and eventually it''s not so disappointing to catch sight of myself when I step out of the shower. I also drink a few mugs of De-Tox Tea, and holy fuck, it''s an experience so revolting it''s damned otherworldly. Thank the gods for the V-Haven suck-out-all-the-gross-shit gel. This so-called "tea" tastes like the color dark green and forcibly expels toxins and impurities from your body. It''s both disgusting and yet bizarrely satisfying in the way popping a zit is when you''re sixteen. Alopix particrly enjoys my newfound health kick, since our daily runs grow longer and longer. Knowing it will be a while before I have the time again, I take him out to the Olympic Penins for serious forest trail runs, and we spend the night in a cabin with Deion, Theo, and Robbie. It''s cold as balls, and we have exactly zero inte service (which makes me twitch more than I''m happy admitting), but the snacks are good, the beer''s local, and Iugh more than I have in over two years. Throughout December, I also spend way more time in the library than I ever did as a student. Thanks to Xiuying stoking my interest young, I already own a decent collection of books on world mythologies, historical legends, and fairy tales. But now that I have a better idea of which specific myths are going to be realm focuses in-game, I hang out in the library, researching the gods I''m less familiar with. --- Fiiinally, it''s T-minus two hours until game time, and I''m practically edging in anticipation of the countdown. I''m tempted to just crawl into my V-Haven and wait, but I''ll be spending 12 hours a day in the thing from here on out, so that feels dumb. Out of ways to procrastinate, I end up sitting on my couch with Pix, staring listlessly at the closed V-Haven. This is SO much more productive. I p my face like they do in Japanese anime, and it is exactly as ineffective and unsatisfying as you''d expect. Groaning, I roll off the couch and do what I always do when I''m feeling bored or tired or indecisive: I walk to the fridge, open the door, and stare. Naturally, I don''t eat anything. It''s the act of staring itself that''s important. I get lucky, and it only takes three repeats of the couch - walk - fridge - stare cycle for inspiration to strike. I haven''te up with my new avatar name yet. Once we realized this game really was different, most of us in the beta decided we''d be changing our avatar names when we registered for the officialunch. A game this steeped in mythology practically begs yers to choose names with legendary significance. Besides, Dregs no longer seems appropriate. Through sweat, blood, and tears, I''ve lifted myself from the dregs of humanity to a victor who stands at the pinnacle. I don''t n on letting anything or anyone knock me off my Fucking Awesome Mountain. Hoping for inspiration, I skim my favorite book ''Zeus Fucks the World, Literally and Figuratively, and other urate Tales from World Mythology.'' Xiuying had blocked out the fucks and super vulgar descriptions before she gave it to me, since I was eight at the time, but I pulled off the post-its covering all the good stuff in middle school. As I scour it for the perfect name, I''m almost dizzy from excitement. Yes, I was that kid who spent hours longer designing his RPG character and backstory than most people even yed the RPG. Shit, I had so many fucking Sims. Naming''s always been one of my favorite parts. It''s not that I hate my real name. Eric Lieu means "Ever Ruler of ughter," which is possibly (definitely) more badass than my geek self truly deserves. My dad''s Chinese and my mom''s American, originally Nordic or something. Since she''s blonde, I once made the joke they both had Yellow Fever. They did not like that. When Mom got pregnant with me, Xiuying convinced them to just give me an American-sounding first name because Americans are bizarrely stupid when ites to pronouncing pretty much all things. "Ooh, did that word used to be French? Boom, not anymore suckerz!" The most horrifying example of this is a tiny town called Versaillespronounced Vur-saylz. I puke in my mouth a little even when I just pronounce that in my head. In the case of my sister, her elementary school experience went pretty much like this: "Oh, huh, your name''s Xiuying, the mostmon girl''s name in all of China? Well I think it''s weird, soI''m going to call you Jenny!" Nine times out of ten, I''m sure your average well-mannered Chinese girl would have just rolled with it and henceforth been known as ''Jenny.'' But something to understand about my sister is that she is not a Jenny. She''s not a well-mannered Chinese girl either. She''s Lieu Xiuying, and she will punch a five-year-old blonde girl wearing a sparkle bow and pigtails. She will also punch blondie''s eight-year-old brother, when he shows up after school to "teach the Ping Pong brat a lesson" (because casual racism is always ssy). And when he uses his height and weight advantage to bust her lip and knock her to the ground, she will fight dirty. Dirt in the eyes, kick to the balls, and run like Hades is on your heels. She''s a real inspiration to me. And her awesome book ends up providing inspiration to me as well! Half an hour until go time, I find the perfect name for the character I want to be. I know myself well enough to realize this identity is going to quickly be more me than, well, me. Viren''s Refuge is an entirely new world, full of possibility and limitless futures. And I am going to kick its ass. By the time the final Mythic Realm is conquered, I''m going to rule the whole damn virtual world, and my avatar will be a god. It''s going to be fucking epic, my dudes. Chapter 8: Fate Launch Chapter 8: Fate Launch 3. . . 2. . . 1. . . Viren''s Refuge Launch Initiated! --- I pass through what I think of as the shiny warp-drive tunnel, until suddenly I''m stationary, floating in the center of a supernova. Brilliant multi-hued stardust swirls around me, and through breaks in the clouds, I see infinite ckness, punctuated by dazzling stars. Three breathtakingly beautiful women appear in front of me. Shining silver thread spools around and between them, drifting without tangling. Behind them, the thread disappears into the nova, as if the ck sky is the loom, and the nova is thetest design of a celestial weaving. "Wee, yer, to the Universe Tapestry. We are the Wyrd Sisters," the middle sister wees me. Real stars twinkle in her wavy dark hair, and she holds the most thread loosely entwined in her hands. The Fates. Weavers of Destiny. The white-haired sister wearing a flowy white dress "reads" the Universe Tapestry to recognize my biometric scan. "yer Eric Lieu, before you embark on your destined journey, you may choose from several options designed to help you seed in bing the Savior of the Realms." "Choose wisely," the third sister says, her voice low for a girl''s, menacing. Her wild red hair looks like mes curling around her face. Her dark bronze skin is covered with smoky tattoos, as if scorched by her hair. Her torso is almostpletely bare, but for the leather bands barely containing her glorious tits. I fucking love video games. She holdsrge gold scissors in her hand and the silver thread passes threateningly near the des as she exins there are no opportunities to go back and re-select a major decision or create "alt ounts" in Viren''s Refuge; once you''vemitted to a character, the only way to change your mind is bypletely deleting your ount and starting from scratch. But doing soes at a cost even greater than losing your data: any yer in the initial 50,000 who restarts their ount before the conclusion of the Nine Mythic Realms conquest will lose their Vir-Tech stock. Of course, she uses a ton of mystguage in her exnation, but that''s the gist. The three ethereal beauties rise above me, silver thread glistening all around them. They speak quickly, one after another, voices blending in harmony. "The fate of the world is at stake." "The choices you make today may determine the future course of the world." "Are you ready to take the first step on the rocky, untamed path of your Hero''s Journey?" And then all at the same time, they ask, "Are you prepared to choose?" My face is a picture of fierce determination streaked with unconstrained excitement. Visions of glory light my eyes like streaks of lightning in gray stormclouds. "Yes!" The starry night-haired Fate waves her thread-twined hands, and colorful clouds of stardust coalesce into ten humanoid shapes that circle around me. Avatar race options! The figures are faceless, but otherwise distinct from each other. Although they all have human characteristics, only one is purely human. "Choose." Surprised, I slowly spin to take in as many details as possible. We were only given the human option during the beta. Clearly, the devs (game developers) were holding out! They must have focused on in-house testing for the demihumans. Though I''m caught off-guard, mostly I''m intrigued. Over half the demihumans are races I''ve never seen in any video game, and none are gender-locked. The racial perks add a ton of factors that might influence game y, plus all these base avatars look insanely cool. All the options make me excited as a two-dicked dog in a fire hydrant factory. The Fates take turns exining the various races. The descriptions are bare-boned, nothing more than names and racial perks, so I expect the game will provide opportunities for discovering race-based backstories and lore. I quickly realize each of the nine demihuman races must have a corresponding Mythic Realm, so I pay extra attention to glean info that may help with main storyline quests. In my head, I create a list and fill in what I can remember from my own research: Norse Valkyrie (Choosers of the Fallen) Warriors in Odin''s Ragnanival army who choose who deserves a hero''s death in battle and then carry each warrior''s soul to Valha Racial Perks: high base strength; non-restricted berserk skill; eventual flight ability; increased attack speed with ded weapons --- Celtic Pu`ca (Shapeshifter Spirit) Trickster spirit fae who helps or hinders humans; harbinger of both good and bad fortunes, depending on the situation Racial Perks: high base intelligence; shapeshift into horned cat, goat-demon, and dire wolf; each shiftes with specialized stats and abilities, and each shift can acquire shift-specific upgradeable skills --- Chinese Draegkyn (Dragon Kin) Humans granted the power of nature dragons, in ordance to Chinese dragon lore Racial Perks: high base intelligence; swimming racial skill; attack buff in water fights & on boats; increased damage with water magic --- Greek Meliae (Ash Dryads) Nymphs of the mountain ash tree, born of Gaia (the Earth) and the blood of castrated Ouranos (the Sky) Racial Perks: high base vitality; since the World Tree is ash, passive race skill draws power from World Tree to regen HP at a faster rate; increased stealth in forests; increased potions-making sess rate; increased chance for crit (critical) hit when using wooden bow --- Egyptian Anubis Death Warrior (God of the Afterlife''s Mortal Forces) Warriors granted powers by Anubis, God of the Afterlife, Guard of the Underworld Racial Perks: high base strength; high base defense; increased damage to dead/undead enemies; increased chance for crit hit with any weapon; high heat resistance --- Japanese D''Raven (Karasu Tengu) Karasu = Crow/Raven; Tengu = half-bird, half-man yokai (spirit/demon) that acts as a trickster minor god who lives in mountain forests; most strange or mysterious events can be attributed to them, and they enjoy luring humans with music or by appearing as will-o''-the-wisps. Later tengu are more powerful and darker; they are skilled with swords, martial arts, and magic and often use their powers to sway Buddhist priests away from Enlightenment Racial Perks: high base agility; eventual flight ability; increased stealth in shadows; can create will-o''-the-wisp lights to confuse/distract enemies; when skill proficiency rate hits 95% with any de or martial arts attack skill, deals double damage -- Mayan Camazotz (Death Bat) Cave-dwelling Mesoamerican Bat-Man hybrid Vampire Racial Perks high base agility; eventual bat shapeshift ability; base Search skill (echolocation); base Life Steal skill (when activated, will steal HP from any attacker whonds a hit) -- Inuit Angakoq Shaman (Spiritual Leader) Intellectual and spiritual leader with powers of divination, healing, and other various abilities granted by a spirit guide/animal spirit familiar Racial Perks: high base intelligence; high cold resistance; eventual ice bear shapeshift ability; at 90% skill proficiency, healing skills work more effectively (replenish more HP than base skill allows) -- Hindu Rakshasa (Man-Eater) lit. trans: "Help Me!" (words Brahma yelled when being eaten alive by Rakshasa after he created them) Demons who feeds on human flesh, banished to earth because of their insatiable bloodlust; in-game they look like horned tiger-faced demons with fangs Racial Perks: high base strength; high base defense; deal extra damage when fighting humans (Man-Eater Bonus); bloodlust berserk state skill -- Variable - Human Quote from Sister Scissors: "As the mortal protector of the Realms, humans are a highly adaptable, highly intelligent race that uses numbers and tactics to outwit stronger forces. Though short-lived, they burn bright and fast, aplishing as muchor morein one fleeting lifespan than many immortals undertake in an eternity." Racial Perks: high base vitality; granted 2x EXP for all non-human kills; +5% base skill proficiency with weapons; unlimited human potential means not ss-locked, can change sses at Level 80; group defense buff applied any time 6+ humans form a party or team (Zerg Bonus) ----------- By the time the final race is exined, I am practically drooling. All these racial perks are incredible. The actual effects of each perk are randomly generated within a hidden set range, but it''s impossible to tell at this point what the ranges might be. It won''t be clear until enough yers have chosen their avatars and posted their results online. I mull over my choices for a long time. One might be so bold as to say an embarrassingly long time. In fact, the fiery Fate literally is that bold: "For the love of mother Nyx, we all know what you''re going to choose, so could you get on with it?" And with that, she snips the thread connected to the Human, and the figure disappears in a burst of starlight. I blink in surprise. Wtf? Are they allowed to do that? What kind of AI NPC algorithm is this? The dark daughter of Night (Nyx) chides, "Hush now, Atropos, you know we must provide the illusion of free will." Um "Otherwise he may engage in a futile struggle against his destiny," the white-haired Fate adds. "You know how obstinate Chosen Ones can be." What. "Fine," fiery Atropos snaps. "Get back to overthinking then, Hero." Really? We''re moving on like nothing happened? I blink again. Forck of a better idea, I take the Fate''s advice: I overthink. Maybeokay, maybe the neural input reader saw that I had already dismissed Human in my mind, so it triggered this preset sequence to make the log in process more interesting? Yep. Gonna go with that. I decide to take Atropos''s first advice as well and hurry up my selection; these Wyrd Sisters are more than a little unnerving (i.e., They''re freaking me the fuck out.) In truth, one of the demihuman races had spoken to me from the beginning. Not only did it feature my ideal aestheticmysterious, dark, and broodybut its racial perks were the most dependent upon individual skill, especially de and martial arts, my specialties. "I choose" The golden scissors move before I finish speaking, snip-snipping every avatar away into nothingness except "the D''Raven!" I yell quickly, before she can get too scissor-happy and disintegrate my actual choice. My heart''s pounding, but when all the exploding stardust clears, a single figure remains. The D''Raven. Chapter 9: Secrets and Stardust Chapter 9: Secrets and Stardust "D''Raven! D''Raven, D''Raven, I choose D''Raven!" I repeat, a bit panicked that Miss Arts-and-Crafts Crazypants over there is about to snip myst life away. I don''t think I''ve ever experienced a more stressful initialization process. The D''Raven glides to stand in front of me. The white-haired Fate snaps her fingers, and the featureless blur of the avatar''s face shifts into a facsimile of my own features. Then she gives me the opportunity to modify my avatar, within set parameters. For example, I can choose a male, female, or androgynous avatar, but I''m only given the option to alter my height by 5cm. However, it''s also exined that if my biometric scan ever confirms growth IRL, my avatar will update along with me. This must be great news for the kids moring to y; they aren''t doomed to remaining forever pint-sized or trashing and rebuilding a character every time they hit a growth spurt. Skill proficiency is closely linked to muscle control and understanding how your own body moves, so too much variance from reality will hinder the brain''s ability to manipte the avatar. I choose male and add only the two centimeters I need to hit 180cm (5''10). I leave the hair mostly ck, but lengthen it a little and add a few streaks of dark violet and strands of raven feathers. Between the pointed ears and smooth, pale features, my avatar''s face already looks more like an elf''s (or an anime character) than my own, so I don''t bother changing it too much. I do make my eyes a bit bigger and outline them in ck (like un-smudgeable kohl eyeliner) so the vivid gray is more visible. Then I add a tattoo that curls like tendrils of shadow from behind my left ear to my left eye and across my cheek. I also tattoo my once-useless right arm, but feeling self-conscious under the gazes of the Fates, I quickly change the avatar''s sleeveless tunic to a long-sleeve shirt to hide the tattoo from view. My pitch ck wings are perfect as is, so after I change the beginner clothing set to ck and dark gray, I''m done. Next, I have to choose an avatar name. The dark-haired Fate tells me to see the name in my mind, then she spells it out with her gleaming silver thread, to float above the avatar''s head. EREBUS Erebus, the primordial being of shadow and darkness, born of the primeval void Chaos. The Fate dressed all in flowing white examines the Universe Tapestry. "No other Erebus exists within the Nine Mythic Realms," she affirms. "Wee, Erebus," all three say in unison. "Um. Wee to you, too," I reply, because I am an idiot. The dark-haired Fate straight-up snorts, which is not a thing I thought a Fate could do. The me-haired Fate grimaces and mutters about humanity being doomed. Hiding a smile, the all-white Fate turns back to the Universe Tapestry. "Erebus, Hero of the Realms, it appears you have already earned Unique Rewards to aid you on your quest. Do you ept them now?" Oh hells yes! In the weirdness that was this entire experience, I had almost forgotten my Tournament of Champions reward. Or, rather, rewards, apparently, as in multiple. Outwardly, my smirk deepens in anticipation of LOOT (a.k.a. The Gods'' Gift to Gamers). Inwardly, I squee like a teenage girl who just found out the hot lead singers from her two favorite boy bands are secretly in love. "I gratefully ept any aid," I reply formally, determined to sound less like an idiot. "The idiot''ll need it," Atropos says, snipping her scissors. I bite back a sigh as stardust once again coalesces, this time into a starlight-encrusted treasure chest. Nothing can damper my mood when I''m faced with treasure. ''Please be a weapon, please be a weapon, please be a weapon,'' I fervently wish as I open thetch. ...Or, a scarf. Ok. That works, too, I guess. I wrap the dark scarf around my avatar''s neck, and I have to admit, it looks pretty awesome. Not as awesome as a sword, but. At least it''s stylish. Adds a good bit of "brood" to the overall look. I try to examine it, but I only see a series of grayed-out ???. The dark-haired Fate exins the item will remain a simple scarf until I finish the first task of my Hero''s Journey, at which point its real equipment stats will be avable. I''m curious what this first task might be; there wasn''t anything like it in the beta. But first, I focus back inside the chest, looking for something else that might be a reward. In the bottom corner, there''s a scrap of leather. I hold it up, questioningly. "Your second reward is your own personal emblem." "This symbol signifies you have the Heart of a Champion and will automatically appear settled over your heart on whatever torso-based gear you equip." "Please choose a heroic trait to enhance, and we shall generate your Champion Emblem." Now we''re talking! It may not be an OP weapon so I can kick ass straight out of the gate, but a unique emblem is pretty fantastic all the same. I think it over for a minute before deciding to enhance my speed and agility. The Three Daughters of Nyx grasp hands and the thread looping around them glows even brighter. The Fates'' eyes shine like miniature Suns, and they start chanting in a beautiful but strangenguage. The thread sews itself on the leather scrap, forming my new ultra-badass personal Hero emblem that is going to be visible on everything I wear for the rest of my avatar''s life "It''s a flower," I say in undisguised horror. "Congrattions, Erebus. We present: Windflower Emblem," they all say with hearty cheer and satisfaction at a job well done. "Goddess Aphrodite loved the mortal Adonis deeply. In a fit of jealousy, several Gods sent an enraged wild boar to attack and gore Adonis. Aphrodite''s tears mixed with Adonis''s blood to sail upon the fresh spring winds; everywhere they settled, a Greek anemone, the Windflower, sprang up from the earth." "This flower embodies the power of the winds and grants the wearer +5% Running Speed, +8% Flying Speed, and +10% Flying Height. In ordance with European folk beliefs, the windflower also acts to ward off disease and therefore grants the wearer +1 Fortitude for warding off curses and illness debuffs." "May this flower''s tragic history be a boon to your endeavors." The Fates look at me expectantly, but I don''t know whether to cheer or cry. The passives on this thing are out of this world, and I am definitely here for it...except... "It''s a flower," I repeat, a little desperately. "Can''t you at least make it a little moreintimidating-looking? Add some element that''s deadly?" "Like a bee?" Omg. I p my forehead and rub my face in frustrated despair. "Uh, no, not like a bee. This emblem is going to be my own personal sigil. A flower''s not exactly the aura I was hoping to project." "Ah, but it''s a Windflower," the dark-haired Fate says again, as if this means something. "Yeahhh..." I say, worried frown wrinkling my brow. How can I make it clear Erebus, Primordial Being of Shadows and Darkness, the badass D''Raven who strikes fear in the hearts of his enemies...definitely can''t be going around wearing a flower on my cool dark, broody gear? "It''s not even a deadly-looking flower, or like a rose with bloody thorns or something. It''s a flowery kind of flower, like springtime and bunnies and shit. Is there no way to make it like a skull or a sword or something more terror-inspiring-ish?" The Fates huddle and whisper in whatevernguage they''d chanted in earlier. The redhead turns to re at me every now and then, which makes me worry I''ve offended them and will somehow end up with no emblem at all. Right as I''m about to say it doesn''t matter, I''ll take whatever, who needs pride anyway when you have epic wind-speed passives, they all turn back to me and regrasp their hands. The thread glows again, so bright I can''t see what''s happening to the leather scrap. There''s a sh, and I''m forced to turn away and squeeze my eyes shut. When I can finally see again, the leather has floated to my hand. Without thinking, I grab it out of the air. My eyes widen as I take in the new design. It''s still a flower, for sure, but the thread no longer shines with life. Instead, the thread glistens like raised ck ink, sttered like blood in the shape of a windflower. Silver-ck threads swirl and somehow look like the icy winds of death, drifting the flower of blood and tears along a path of tragedy. "Wow. Thank you, seriously. This is perfect," I''m practically babbling, and I clutch the emblem so tightly it''s like I''m afraid they may take it back. The nicer two giggle at my antics, while the scissor-wielding third rolls her eyes and frowns. The dark-haired sister waves her hand, and the dark emblem appears on the upper left of my avatar''s chest. "And with this, Hero Erebus, your time with us muste to its end." "But do not fear, for this is not the end." "This is simply the beginning of the long journey ahead." "Now go forth, seek glory, and live as the Hero of Viren''s Refuge!" And with all three voices ringing in my ears, I disappear like so much stardust. ----------- "I almost feel sorry for him." Atropos huffs. "You''re too soft, Lachesis. Always looking into the future, fretting over what''s toe." Ignoring Atropos, pale beauty Lachesis turns to her dark sister Clotho. "Mischievous sister, I notice you didn''t tell the boy thest bit." Atropos stops ring at the space where the Chosen One disappeared into the aether. "Yes, I thought you liked the young brat. Even though hecks all manners, and disyed no evidence of the intelligence, courage, or talent the Great-Father saw in him." Clotho smiles gently. "I do like him. Enough to see him clearly, unlike you. You saw what the Great-Father and our sister Lachesis saw in the Universe Tapestry. He is the Chosen Hero, the savior of the Nine Realms." "Then why did you not tell him the full truth of his emblem?" Lachesis asks, confused. "Well..." Clothoughs, "it''s boring if it''s too easy, isn''t it?" Atropos snorts. "It''s the idiot''s fault anyway for not knowing the duality of the windflower. He seemed decently familiar with the Western origins, but hepletely neglected the anemone''s legend in Eastern cultures." Lachesis nods in agreement. "Poor kid. He has no idea he''s wearing bad luck." "He''ll figure it out soon enough," Clotho grins. And in the center of the supernova at the center of the universe, three beautiful sisters, daughters of Night and masters of destiny,ugh at a poor, young boy millions of light-years away. Chapter 10: Of Faceplants and Strippers Chapter 10: Of Facents and Strippers I materialize in a forest clearing that smells of damp earth and rich pine. A light breeze ruffles my hair and carries a hint ofvender, chamomile, and mint. Viren''s Refuge. I''m finally back home. I tilt back my head and open my arms wide and immediately fall on my ass. Fuck. Wings. Grumbling, I try to stand, but my huge ck wings seem to have a mind of their own, and the imbnce makes me topple again. I roll onto my stomach and push up, but my wings curl forward, and the ticklish, brushing sensation against my arms freaks me out so much I spasm and facent. Sigh. The red earth tastes like dirt. I want to shake whatever over-zealous programmer decided THAT was a valuable piece of code for the delicate taste engine. Where''s a bloody tutorial when you actually want one? "Greetings, Erebus. Would you like me to teach you how to stabilize your bnce?" "Nope, I got it," I reject automatically. "Goodbye, then. Please find me in the Vigeter. I have a task for you." "Sure thing." My reply is a bitckluster, given my face is still smushed into the dirt. Wait. What am I saying?! Shit. Shitshitshit! I heave myself up in time to see an elderly tengu p his gray wings and fly off through the trees. Whyyyy? Why must I be like this?! I swear it''s a freaking instinctual response! I''m as naturally averse to tutorials as I am to freaky shit like snakes (why no legs?) and centipedes (why so many legs?) and drinking the milk left in the bottom of a cereal bowl with all the gross soggy bits floating in it (okay, that one''s just because I''m a fucking child, I KNOW). As I slump in defeat, a little yellow birdnds on a branch to my left. Its cheerful chirping mocks me. I throw a rock, but it calls my bluff and stares me down while the rock flies wide. Then it takes off, effortlessly flying loops around the clearing while singing its damnably merry song, only to alight right back on the branch. "Show-off," I mutter, annoyed. It chirps even louder in response. Cocky little shit. Determined, I force myself to my feet. Half-hunched over, I hold my hands out to counterbnce and start my feeble wobble around the small clearing. I''m about as graceful as a one-legged toddler with rickets. It''s going to be a long morning. ---- "Wee to Foundation Vige, Erebus!" I stare at the enthusiastic greeter with t, dead eyes. The NPC doesn''t seem to notice; if anything, the guy''s smile widens even more. "I''ve been expecting you! We thought you''d arrive sooner." You and me both, asshat. It took two hours to walk/stumble/crawl the three-quarters of a mile to Foundation Vige. The yellow bird followed me the entire time, noisily chirping away like some sort of demonic Tweety Bird sent to annoy my soul to Hell. The NPC sps his hands in excitement. "This is such an honor! You look the way I''d always imagined the legendary hero to appear!" My eye twitches in disbelief. I''m covered in dirt and sore everywhere. There are twigs stuck in my wings. I''ve fallen on my ass so many times my trash Beginner Trousers only have 2 points of durability left. Vaguely, I wonder if NPCs can still be murdered in safe zones... "You''re probably in a hurry to meet the Chief. I can tell you how to find his hut!" Deciding now''s not the time to be murdery, I follow the eager NPC''s directions to arge thatched hut in the center of the vige. Recognizing I''ll have to y nice to get my first Quest, I try to make my frown less frown-y as I enter. "Hello," I say. Sometimes my charming eloquence astounds even me. A gray-haired NPC stands on a colorful rug in the middle of the one-roomed hut. [Vige Chief Tarabu] floats above his head. The name glows orange, signifying he has a quest. "Erebus, you''ve returned to us," he says with a relieved smile. "Yep." "Wee home, Hero of Legends." "Mhmm." "We all look forward to your future exploits, now that you have gone through the prophesied Heroic Transformation. All tengu look to you in hope." "You''re a tengu? Where''s your wings?" At first, the Chief looks concerned, but then he nods in understanding. "Ah yes, this confusion was also prophesied. After the Transformation, much of what was once known is forgotten." "Huh?" "You will need to relearn actions that once came as natural as breathing. For example," Chief Tarabu says, then he unties the cloth belt holding his red-and-gray robe closed. "HUH?!" I yelp, stumbling back toward to the door. What kind of programming was this?! Thankfully, the old dude is wearing pants. More surprising than the unannounced stripping, however, is the fact that the old geezer is totally jacked the guy''s rocking an eight-pack, and his pecs look solid as iron. I may need some more sessions with Ken. The Chief turns, and I see his entire back is covered in tattooed wings. He rolls his shoulders, and the ink ripples. Very real feathers rise out of his skin, the gray wings sprouting from his shoulder des. He ps them a couple times, lightly shaking the feathers into ce like a bird. "To retract your wings, first spread them as widely as they''ll go." I follow his directions and realize with a small shock my wingspan is actually greater than his. The tips of my wings brush the wooden walls. "Now visualize the wings bing one with you, each feather etching itself onto your skin." It takes me a few seconds, but I think of his tattoo and try to imagine what my ink-ck wings would look like as actual ink, dark against my pale skin. The sudden lightness as my wings disappear throws me off-bnce for the millionth time today. Luckily, my brain is familiar with the wing-less version of my body, so it doesn''t take nearly as long to limate to my virtual human form. "Very good," Chief Tarabu praises. I try not think about how much time I could have saved if I''d let him teach me that hours ago. "I had thought to humbly ask you to ept a quest of daring for the vige, but I now believe it is too soon. I know it must seem beneath your heroic greatness, but would you be willing to firstplete a series of tasks meant to teach you the basics lost during the Heroic Transformation?" Though it pains me to sacrifice the efficiency of simply skipping ahead to the ''quest of daring,'' I can''t help but admit I probably need whatever boring lessons these tutorial tasks are going to teach. I shrug. "Sure. Makes sense." "Your wisdom in the face of adversity always inspires me," Chief Tarabu says wistfully. To my horror, a tear glistens on the Chief''s eysh. I''m starting to think perhaps the AI needs to re-evaluate some of its pre-programmed NPC responses. Chapter 11: A Dog Named Cat Chapter 11: A Dog Named Cat Sothis is excruciating. Like, I get that the VR experience is vastly different from any other gaming experience, and it''s important to ''crawl before you roundhouse kick'' or whatever that saying is, but seeing as I''m not a literal baby, this is torture. For my first Foundation Skill Quest, I''m running around the vige posting "Lost Tanuki" fliers. Most of the tengu huts are essentially treehouses, so I''m pasting fliers to the bare tree trunks beneath the houses. The market, post office, and school are at ground-level, built into giant hollowed-out trees like those Redwoods you can drive through in California. I p fliers onto the doors of each, not bothering to ask the owners. It''s not that I believe it''s easier to ask forgiveness than get permission. It''s more that I believe it''s easiest to do neither. If you don''t get caught, you don''t get bothered. I do take note every time I pass a tengu NPC with an orange-glowing name, so I won''t have to search long for the next task. Anything to finish these painfully simple quests faster. Finally empty-handed, I race back to Little Jojo, the teary-eyed tengu kid who''s lost his pet. "Thank you, Hero!" he cries, flinging himself at my waist in a grateful hug. "Uh. No worries," I reply as I awkwardly try to pry him off me. He has a surprisingly strong grip for such a tiny brat. I''m fairly concerned I''m going to take damage. The chime of a system notification alert grabs my attention, so I give up and just leave the kid attached while I two-finger swipe to turn on Visual Notifications. (Too many people in the beta died due to ill-timed notifications popping up in the yers'' sight lines during battles or while traversing dangerous terrain or whatever, so they added the toggle function for yers to choose when notifications auto-appear and when they simply chime and a red exmation point is added to your status window.) [Quest Complete! Youpleted {Help Little Jojo} in 02:48. Pass Time: 09:00] [Quest Sess Rating: S Unlock Chain Quest!] [Quest Reward: You have gained Foundation Skill: Sprint (Basic)] [Sprint (Basic): Like jogging, but faster. Allows you to move at maximumnd speed, based on Agility and equipment bonuses. Consumes Stamina.] Weird. Sprint wasn''t a skill in the beta, it was just a thing you could do, like walk or jump. It always consumed stamina though. Maybe now that it''s a skill, leveling it up can decrease how quickly it uses SP? That would be convenient. "Great news, Hero!" Little Jojo exims, little arms still locked tight around me. "Someone saw the flier and brought info on Neko! Will you go save him?" His oversized eyes, filled with hero-worship and awe, stare up at me with all the hope and optimism of childhood. "No." I tly refuse, then flick him in the forehead. Gotta squash that navet early. A system alert chimes. [Chain Quest {Save Neko} Activated!] [Warning: Failure toplete this mandatory quest will result in penalty.] Oh, c''mon! This counts as an official chain quest? I know you can''t opt out of chain quests in this game, but for fuck''s sake, the kid named his roon dog ''Cat''! The tanuki''s probably suffering from an identity crisis and couldn''t take it anymore. I doubt the poor bastard wants to be found! Chain quests are supposed to be rewards for above-excellent initial questpletion, but honestly, this feels more like punishment. "Fine," I growl. Little Jojo cheers and attacks my leg with such an intense hug my pants lose another precious point of durability. I wonder if the quest would cancel if the kid mysteriously died. --- Little Jojo drags me to a dark section of the forest and points out a trail of will-o''-the-wisp fires, smoky electric blue mes that seem to emit a low-key aggro-pulling effect. To my surprise, I feel like I could break the aggro-pull if I wanted. I''m curious whether it''s a racial perk, since the fires are tengu magic, or if it''s a willpower effect of the Windflower Emblem''s Fortitude +1 hidden attribute. Either way, I don''t bother dispelling the aggro-pulling, since I want to follow the lights anyway. I ditch the kid and start using my brand-new Sprint skill to zip through the ferns and trees. As I near thest visible blue me, another appears further into the woods, then another as I near that one, until I''m ying a bizarre game of tag with magic fireballs. It''s kinda fun, to be honest. Especially since I can finally feel the speed effects of the Emblem and my base Agi racial bonus; my max speed is already as fast as it was a month into the beta. For the first time since I fell on my ass this morning, I''m smiling. My ever-present HP and SP bars glow in the top left corner of my vision. While the blue Health bar stays full and happy, my green stamina bar rises and falls constantly as I manipte my movement speeds. Stamina is aplicated beast in Viren''s Refuge. I''m more familiar with its intricacies than most, since one of my long-term beta assignments involved testing dozens of stamina-maximizing techniques. Sprinting consumes SP, while Agi and equipment determines how rapid the rate of consumption. Jogging, walking, and standing replenish SP at different rates, so there''s an art to alternating movement speeds to run most efficiently without depleting your SP and entering a Weakened state. Combat also consumes stamina. Melee skills use more SP than non-magic ranged attacks, and magic skills generally consume the most SP, just like magic consumes mana in other MMOs. The stamina burn duringbat isn''t unreasonably fast, though; by Level 10, if you''re decently efficient, an average yer can fight for 5-10 minutes without needing an SP recovery item or spell. What''s really cool (for expert yers, anyway) is thatbat skill proficiency and uratebo delivery greatly influence SP consumption. Essentially, fighting well allows a yer to also fight longer. With my badass racial perk, hitting 95% proficiency with a de or martial art skill will not only deal double damage, but it will also consume half the SP the base skill consumes. Basic-Level skills only operate at 60% efficiency if you simply let the System Assist perform the skill for you. In no time at all, I''ve gotten back into my zone, and my optimized running pace makes me faster than the will-o''-the-wisp lights can generate. I end up running in the dark for a bit, and I realize I''m still easily avoiding hazards and weaving in between trees and branches at full speed. Holy shit, I can see in the dark. HIDDEN RACIAL PERK FTW OMG. It''s not perfect night vision or anything, but I can definitely differentiate shadows and make my way through the gloom without much extra effort. I''m gonna have to experimentter, somece truly pitch-ck, to see the full limits of this, but I''m currently feeling as excited as if I''d found a legendary treasure chest when I expected a purse of coppers. A ring of bright blue mes suddenly appears around me, so I stop. A weird squeaky-honking sound draws my attention to a hollow log. I peer inside. "Ah, poor Neko-chan. You are one freaky-looking critter, my dude." The tanuki squeak-honks at me again, clearly agreeing with me but also peeved I called him out like that. The game artists apparently couldn''t decide whether they should go for realism or stray into the Japanese folk art design, so they did a bizarrebination of the two. So now we''re dealing with real tanuki noises, natural roon-like face and pointed nose, a cartoonish overly-round fluffy body, hind legs/paws normal, front paws more like cartoon hands... ...and poor dude ispletely balls-out. We''re talking real low-hanging fruit, here. Pair of pears damn near dragging on the ground. I legit don''t know how I''m supposed to carry this thing back to Jojo without identally skirting second base. I''m not even sure I should; is this an okay pet for a kid? Maybe whichever tengu created the will-o''-the-wisps was trying to protect Jojo''s innocence. Neko squeaks indignantly, and I guess he''s right. What do I know about child development? My sister gave me a book about Zeus turning into a golden shower to impregnate a princess when I was eight. "Fine, but you''re walking on your own. I''ll be your guide, but I''m not getting up close and personal with Neko nuts, cool?" The tanuki honks in agreement, and my first official chain quest ends a ten-minute jaunt through the forestter. If I have to pick up the tanuki a couple times to help the horribly-proportioned creature over huge fallen trees, and if there is the teeeensiest moment when perhaps one absurdly oversized testicle barely grazes my arm, well. If I sessfully repress a memory, it never happened, right? Chapter 12: S-Rank, Best Rank Chapter 12: S-Rank, Best Rank Predictably, Little Jojo is overexcited and full-on snot-crying when I return to the path, tanuki in tow. He rushes toward me, arms pinwheeling in anticipation of another exuberant public disy of affection. "Erebus, my hero! You saved Neko-chan!" "Don''t mention it," I tell him, as I shove my hand in his face to keep him arm''s length away. "Seriously. Please, let''s never speak of this again." I push the tanuki into Little Jojo''s grubby hands before another of the kid''s deathgrip hugs can deplete thest of my poor trousers'' durability. The twinkling chime of the system alert doesn''t quite drown out Neko''s betrayed squeaks as he''s subjected to the tengu child''s fierce affection in my ce. I try to apologize with my eyes: "Sorry, buddy. But only one of us needs to be nuts-out in broad daylight, you know?" I like to think Neko''s responding honk means he understands. [Quest Complete! Youpleted Foundation Quest: Sprint II {Save Neko}] [Quest Sess Rating: S Perfect usage of Foundation Skill: Sprint (Basic)!] [Quest Reward: +25 EXP; Foundation Skill Upgrade: Sprint (Intermediate)] [Chain Quest Bonus Reward: +1 Vitality] *Cue heavy breathing and star-shine eyes* I take back every negative thing I''ve ever said about the handsy brat and his ballsy dog Cat. This chain quest was absolutely worth every annoying second of effort. Hell, for an intermediate skill and an attribute point, I would have rounded third base with the tanuki. (Chix, Judgey McJudgeyface. I''m pretty sure I''m kidding. Probably. I mean, there''s definitely a question as to whether it''s even bestiality if it''s all virtual but I realize the debate about that particr moral ambiguity is possibly not the most relevant line of thinking at this moment, and probably I should just get back to the game now, so...) I swipe open my Status Window to ogle my beautiful Vitality point in action. ----- Name: Erebus Race: D''Raven ss: -- Subss: -- Title: -- Level: 1 EXP: 25/100 HP: 60 SP: 22 Attributes: Strength: -- Agility: 2 Intelligence: -- Vitality: 1 Mythic Hero Ranking: ??? Unique Sigil: Windflower Emblem - Heart of a Champion: +100 World Reputation. Power of the Winds: +5% Running Speed, +8% Flying Speed, +10% Flying Height. (Hidden Attribute effects unavable to view.) ----- My breath hitches as I gaze upon the low and nonexistent numbers. It''s been two years, but I can still remember every single stat and skill of my Max Lvl 150 Ranger on Team Digital Discord. It''s stupid that this VR status screen reminds me of that other screen, that relic from a bygone era, now only viewed by the seventeen-year-old ''prodigy'' who swooped in to scavenge the shattered shards of my broken life. This shimmering silver window looks nothing like the lurid green status screen of my old life. But in some ways, it''s exactly the same. I slowly clench my right fist over and over again, as if to remind myself that here, now, in this magical virtual world, I am whole. This is my refuge, and nothing will take it away from me. I focus on the "Mythic Hero Ranking" stat line. It didn''t exist in the beta, but I quickly realize it must be rted to Zhao Jianyu''s crazy pledge to reward the best yer with majority shares in Vir-Tech. I don''t know how many Realms will be conquered before the first official ranking tabtion will be released, but I pledge to myself right now that when the dayes that I open my Status Window and a number reces the ???, that number will be 1. And so help me, I''ll never see another number in that slot as long as I y this game of dreams. --- As I walk back to the vige with Little Jojo and Neko, I take the time to get my head back on straight. I focus on breathingwhich yes, I know is weird in a virtual world, but if it works, it worksand distract myself by peering into the darkness on either side of the path, differentiating shadows and strengthening my night vision. I''m hoping that if I work on the ability, it might boost my Perception stat. Currently, my Perception must be lower than 15, since that''s the level needed to Perceive one''s own Hidden Attributes: Fortitude, Luck, Charisma, and Perception. By the time the familiar treehousese into view, I''m back to my usual game-loving self, and more than ready to track down the next Foundation Skill Quest. Right before I split off, I remember something. "Yo, kid, what about that reward from the lost pet poster?" Jojo blinks, wide-eyed, at my expectant open palm. "Isn''t the satisfaction of a job well done enough of a reward for a mighty hero like you?" "Not even." I move my hand closer to him. "Satisfaction doesn''t pay the bills." "But I don''t have money! I''m just a kid!" "Why did the poster say ''100 Gold Reward'' then?" "Cause that''s what Wanted posters always say, right? And I wanted Neko back!" I have no words for that logic. Shaking my head, I flick the stingy kid''s forehead for good measure, scratch Neko under the chin, and head out to find my fortune. Chapter 13: Whats a Little Cannibalism Between Friends? Chapter 13: What''s a Little Cannibalism Between Friends? My "fortune" turns out to be a quest for a teenage tengu named Dina, who is apparently azy cker and therefore needs my help to finish her chores. I mean, the game didn''te right out and say all that, exactly, but I''m calling it like I see it. Anywho, now I''m scrambling around, climbing giant trees to collect eggs from random bird nests so Ditzy Dina can cook up dinner omelettes for her fam tonight. I really should be focusing more on the task at hand, considering the damn girl didn''t give me anything to carry the eggs in, and these absolute trash Beginner Trousers don''t have pockets, and climbing was a real struggle for a lot of yers back in the beta... ...buuuut, all I can think about is, like, hey, aren''t tengu part-bird hybrids? Isn''t this creepy and maybe borderline cannibalistic? But then, who am I to judge? I shrug, then keep right on judging anyway, like the shamelessly hypocritical human I am. Thoughts swirling in morbid fascination, I hardly notice that I''mpleting what should be a near-impossible task with the natural climbing grace of a panther ninja. Naruto who, mothafuckaa? I snag the final three eggs from a nest nearly 60 meters off the ground. The branches of this tree are more spread apart, so it''ll be a pain to mber down one-handed. I lift my shirt and tie off the eggs into the fabric. I do not pause to flex and check out my killer avatar abs, because only narcissistic losers would do that. Obviously. ... In a sh, I''m leaping limb to limb, descending at breakneck speed. About 10 meters from the ground, I kick off the trunk, lightly clutching the wrapped eggs, and backflip tond in front of Dina. She yawns and holds out her basket. "Took you long enough." She speaks in that distinctive voice unique to people who have never worked a day in their lives because they''ve always found someone else to foist their responsibilities onto. Half-bored, half-whiny, 100% self-entitled bitch. Since I''m assuming there''s no room to shove the eggs up her ass, given the giant stick that''s already taken up residence, I really want to break the eggs over her perfectly-styled blonde head. But I don''t. Boom. Look at that character growth right there. Instead, I gently ce them into the basket and wait for the telltale chime of my questpletion alert *Chime!* then I ''identally'' knock the entire basket of eggs out her hands. The satisfying *saaaaattt* as three dozen eggs smash into a mossy boulder is music to my petty, pointed ears. Completely ignoring Dina''s irate screeching, I saunter away to read my notification. [Quest Complete! Youpleted {Dina''s Egg-cellent Errand} in 07:26. Pass Time: 32:00] [Quest Sess Rating: S Unlock Chain Quest!] [Quest Reward: You have gained Foundation Skill: Climb (Basic)] [Climb (Basic): For when you wish you were taller. Engages auto-find for hand- and foot-holds; +8% movement bonus when scaling trees,dders, and craggy rocks, based on Agility and equipment bonuses. Consumes Stamina.] I''m at once super pumped to test out this movement bonus and super bummed I''m probably going to have to talk to Dina again. Sighing, I turn to head back, only to walk right into Dina''s sharp right hook. "Fuck! Don''t girls like you usually p?" "Hardly. That wouldn''t leave a mark," she scoffs, daintily rubbing her knuckles. I check out the chunk of HP she took out with that punch, and I have to hand it to her; she definitely left a mark. I rub my sore jaw. "Damn. I''m kinda impressed." Her not-sore jaw drops. "Huhh?" "Don''t get me wrong. I''m pissed, too. Royally. But that was a solid punch. I didn''t think you had it in you." "Had what in me?" I gesture like it''s obvious. "You know. The ability to work. Or even lift your hand that high." She res and huffs, offended. I cut her off before she can deliver what I can only imagine is a primo ''Let me speak to your manager''-level tirade: "That move clearly had hours of practice behind it." Her mouth clicks shut, eyes bright in surprise. She nods. "Years, actually. My father''s been training me in martial arts since before I could fly." "Your father?" I ask, before I can think about how weird this entire conversation is. What is up with the devs, giving this much backstory to a rando NPC? Dina pulls a ss vial out of a pocket hidden in thecy folds of her dressand okay, wtf, howe her frilly dress has pockets but my pants don''t?and hands over a red Health potion. As I pop the stopper and take a swig, she answers, "Yes, you''ve met him right? Chief Tarabu." If it were not ingrained in me to never waste a free potion, I would haveically spit that red juice everywhere. Instead, I choke it down in one huge gulp beforeically yelling, "Chief Tarabu is your DAD?!" super loudly. The awkward silence that follows my outburst is eventually broken by a gentle tinkling sound as the now-empty Health vial disintegrates into fragments of blue opalescent light. Viren''s Refuge is a waste-free reality. "Uh. Yes?" Dina answers hesitantly. "Is that a problem?" "No," I squeak out, thanking the gods that it''s truly not. I clutch my chest, SO GLAD I didn''t sumb to my desire to shove an egg anywhere near or up the Vige Chief''s daughter. "He''s kinda ancient, though, isn''t he?" I say, again going with the whole judging thing. "Yes, Father is entering the prime of his elder cycle. That''s why I will likely always remain the youngest,st-born child." She sighs. "It''s quite vexing, to always be seen as the baby. My thirteen older siblings always treat me like a child. As do all three of Father''s wives." Dayumnnnn Tarabu, you dirty dude. Get it. Honestly, this exins a lot about this chick. No wonder she''s used to people fawning over her and doing whatever she asks. Also exins why she needed 36 eggs for one dinner. Speaking of... "Listen, Dina, since I, uh, identally ruined your dinner ns, is there another, perhaps rted, task I could do to make it up to you?" A chill runs down my spine at the spective Cheshire-Cat smile Dina gives me. "Why yes, in fact! If you could do this one, teensy-tiny quest for me, you would be my Hero!" Somehow, when she says it, "hero" sounds an awful like "deadmeat dupe." Suddenly I remember that it was only like two minutes ago that she sucker-punched me in the jaw. *Chime!* [Chain Quest {Eggs in the Eyrie} Activated!] [Warning: Failure toplete this mandatory quest will result in penalty.] Shit. "All right, tell me what I need to do." She ps her hands in glee. "It''s simple! There is this one extra special nest, hiding atop a little cliff, that holds enough eggs to feed my entire family. And legend says the eggs have special properties for tengu. If you bring me enough, you can join us for dinner and taste it yourself!" She smiles and winks, all cheerful-like. I frown and groan, all wretched-like. Sighhhh. I''m definitely going to die. Chapter 14: An Ominous Tinkle Chapter 14: An Ominous Tinkle A ''little'' cliff MY ASS. 1500 fucking meterster, and I''m ALMOST to the top of this bloody sheer cliffside. If I survive this, I am going to kill that half-bird biyatch. I''m not even afraid of heights in real life, and this dizzying drop is enough to give me the jitters. I''d be surprised if even one in a million yers is able to pull off this chain quest. Especially this early in the game, before anyone''s gottenpletelyfortable with the differences between virtual reality and reality-reality. Thankfully, the boost from the Climb skill makes a noticeable difference, and with my natural ability, I''ve maintained a 90-98% skill proficiency rate the entire way up. I bet if I climbed up and down the cliff a couple more times, I''d level up the skill even without the chain quest reward. I am also thrilled that the stamina-consumption rate of high-proficiency climbing is really low; I''ve only had to stop and recuperate five times. Which is great, since stopping on the practically paper-thin ledges is honestly more stressful than the climbing. With ast burst of energy, I summon my inner shinobi and hurtle towards the peak. As I finally crest this godsforsaken precipice, I can only gape in amazement. Awaiting me at the top is a nest enormous enough tofortably sit twenty grown men. Two things immediatelye to mind: #1) A boss lives here. A flying boss. A big one. And I don''t even have pockets yet, let alone a weapon of any kind. and #2) LOOT-LOOT-LOOT-LOOT-LOOT. A nest this big? YOU KNOW there be treasure here! A bit of drool dribbles down my chin. I''m not ashamed to admit it. When my loot-addled brain settles enough for me to think clearly, I realize the devs can''t possibly expect me to face a boss at this stage. The terrifying, strenuous climb is clearly enough of a real test. As long as I''m fast, I should be able to grab these basketball-sized eggs without any problems. I untie my DIY shirt-pocket to grab the packet of levitation powder Dina had handed me before sending me off. She only barely exined what it does, but she made it very clear it could not be used on human or humanoid beings. The way she shuddered as she mentioned "disastrous consequences" made me all too willing to believe her warning. Though I was partially annoyed she hadn''t mentioned the stuff while I was working my ass off collecting the first 36 eggs, mostly, I was nning on how I could save it forter emergencies. Wishful thinking, apparently. There''s no bloody way I can get all these monster eggs down the cliff in one trip, and if I take too long, I doubt Mommy Monster Boss will be charitable enough to just let me steal her eggs and frolic off into the sunset. I carefully remove the first speckled brown egg, sprinkle thevender powder on it, and with a quick prayer to whoever might be listening, I toss it off the cliff. "Whew," I let out a relieved breath as the egg gently floats down to where I can barely make out Dina, standing with a much bigger basket. Which I''m sure I''m going to have carry after all this. "Now we''re talking," I say, mostly to pump myself up. (Don''t pretend like you don''t do it, too. You''re just still mad jealous I''ma get me some loot.) As I climb in and out of the nest, carting giant egg after giant egg, I can''t help but notice the glittery shimmer hiding beneath the twigs in the center of the nest. I pause before I grab the final egg to think through my options. Best case scenario, I use thest of the purple powder to lower my treasure to the ground, carry the final egg in a sling made from my scarf, and nothing bad happens to my loot, my eggs, or my precious self. Worse (and Therefore More Likely) Scenarios: -I lower the treasure to the ground, and Dina steals it before I make it to the bottom. -I use thest bit of powder on the egg, and removing it from the nest signals the arrival of Big Mama Bird. I either die fighting to get my treasure or die from sadness because I leave without it. -I take too long thinking through my options, and Boss Big Bird shows up and kills me before I get either the egg or the treasure, so I not only lose my loot, I also fail the chain quest and lose my upgrade and EXP. I figure it''s even money whether removing the final egg or touching the hidden treasure triggers the arrival of Flying Monster Mama, but it''s definitely too optimistic to think neither action does. In fact, it''s likely both of them trigger it, so no matter what, if you want to finish the quest with a perfect score and/or acquire sparkly goodies, you have to face the guardian boss. I also figure Dina is equally likely to leave me to die whether I lower the egg or the treasure to the bottom, but at least if she runs off with the egg, I should get the quest rewards. I do a lot of thinking, but my brain processes all these options in mere seconds. When I make my final decision, I figure I have a few more seconds to calm my mind and prepare as best I can for any eventuality. Breathe in. Breathe out. Tie my scarf into a makeshift sling. Breathe in. Breathe out. Grab the pointiest stick in the nest and practice a few jabs with it. Breathe in. Breathe out. Roll thest egg to the very edge of the nest. Scoot aside the topmost twigs covering the treasure. Return to the egg and prepare the purple packet. Breathe in. Breathe out. Tense muscles... and GO! I dump thest of the powder onto the egg, lift it out of the nest, and hurl it over the side of the cliff. I grab my pointy stick, race back to the middle of the nest, and dive my hands into the sticks, moss, and leaves protecting my treasure. As I scoop up the three unknown but-oh-so-glittery-and-reassuringly-hefty objects, an earsplitting, roaring screech warns me of my impending doom. An enormous shadow descends upon me, blotting out the sun, and in one fluid motion, I shove the loot into my scarf, grab my pathetic spear, and roll to the side. Sword-sharp talons rip apart the space I''d just vacated, and another inhuman screech fills the air. Tamping down my terror, I dive-roll again before leaping up into a sprint to the raised edge of the nest. Somehow, I need to hurt or distract this winged beast enough to give me the time to scale down the cliff. I examined the entire area when I was still on egg-floating duty, and I''m at the edge of the map up here. There''s no way down except the sheer face I''ve already climbed. The boss''s name and level ze an angry red above its fearsome head: [ITSUMADE - Grand Protector of the Eyrie] [Level 20 - HP 100,000/100,000] I choke back my hystericalughter as I mentallypare my wimpy-ass stats to this Level 20 beast. Moving purely on instinct, I dodge as its giant, curved beak strikes; it roars in frustration as its saw-like teeth close on nothing but air. It whips its snakelike body around, talons shing, and screeches again. Only this time, red-orange mes shoot out of its beak, because WHY THE HELL NOT?! Truly desperate now, I weave and dodge around the outer edge of the nest, grabbing as many sharp-ish sticks as I can. I almost trip a couple times, and I spare half a thought to missing my old AGI. Unbelievably, I manage to avoid the teeth, beak, talons, and intermittent mes, only because it hasn''t returned to the air to attack. I can''t guarantee it won''t immediately do so, however, as soon as I leave the nest. I am willing to bet that the creature is programmed to stop chasing once the yer reaches the ground, though. This quest would be too broken otherwise. I hope. Taking the gamble, the second I reach the section closest to the cliff, I stop and manage anotherst-second dodge, knowing that the creature always spreads its wings to scream its anger. NOW! I throw spear after spear at its vulnerable left wing, aiming at a single spot near the joint. Predictably, the sticks do practically zero damage to the boss, but my persistence pays off in the form of three spears sticking into the bird''s wing. Itsumade roars and rears back in pain, and I take my chance. I visualize my own big, beautiful wings unfurling from my back, and as the boss ps angrily in an attempt to remove the literal thorns in its side, I spread my wings and leap, using the boss''s air attack to give me enough lift to soar over the edge. As I fall, I can hear the eerie, mournful cries of the boss monster, "itsumade, itsumade," over the rush of wind in my sensitive ears. All too soon, my borrowed lift runs out, and I''m stuck gliding under my own power. Without the Flight skill, however, my wings can only slow my fall, not stop it. At thest second, I whirl around tond on my back, curling my wings forward to help my arms cradle the precious, shiny loot I am about to die for. I m onto the ground with enough force to leave a small crater in the pine-needle-coated earth. As I watch my HP plummet faster than I just did, I can only curse my greedy loot-snatching fingers, which are currently gently caressing their ill-gotten gains entirely unconsciously. I close my eyes, unwilling to witness my mortifying death in the fucking Foundation Vige. Then I open them again when a full thirty seconds pass and I''m still clutching my sparkling goodies. 1 HP. 1 fucking HP. I whoop and yell and bust outughing. Lunatic Lieu is alive and well, and turns out my crazy ass still can''t get enough of the bloody Red Zone. My can''t-believe-I-fucking-survivedughter is forcefully cut off not a momentter, however. The tinkling raining-ss sound effect that signals my abused pants disappearing in an explosion of blue-opal starburst fractals is not nearly ominous enough, given the givens. Dina''s scandalized shriek does the trick, though. Shiiiiiiiiiiiiiit. Chapter 15: This Story Features a Lot of Stripping Chapter 15: This Story Features a Lot of Stripping And that''s the story of how I ended uppleting five chain quests in my underwear. On the one hand, kudos to the devs for having the foresight to provide yers with [Immortal Object] indestructible base undies. On the other hand, a thousand curses to the bored graphic arts intern who designed this pair of unnecessarily short boxer briefs. They''re hot pink. With polka dots. "God of Shadow and Chaos. Ruler of ughter. Broody af." I mutter my mantra, reminding myself I am above this. I am the darkness. "Are those tiny white hearts dotting your undershorts?" Dina asks, peering a little too closely at the form-fitting material. I snap my wings to cover my exposed bits. Fuck the darkness. I am the ''edgy'' goth kid who gets pantsed in gym ss, and everyone finds out his mom writes his name in permanent marker on his clothing tags with a little [3 dotting the i''s. "You look so ridiculous, I am embarrassed to know you," Dina says matter-of-factly. "Now pick up that basket and get a move on." I''d received the questplete notification halfway down my inglorious descent, so, "No way in Hades,dy." She pouts. Great. NPCs can pout now? "But it''s too heavy for me," sheins. "Not my problem. Get more of that floaty powder or something." "But-but..." she splutters, bewildered that I''m not falling over myself to help. Ignoring her, I head out for a secluded ce to examine my loot. "Wait!" she calls. "Don''t you want to eat a legendary special omelette?" "You already invited me to dinner. I just had to get you ingredients. Did that!" I holler back without looking. "You ignoble ruffian!" "Thank you!" I give a jaunty salute. She huffs her frustration then goes silent. I start humming a lively tune and do a jumping heel-click in my smirky glee. Then she tries one more time. "What if...I can help you get new trousers?" "..." Half an hourter, I finally deliver the monster eggs to Dina''s mom''s hut. My non-existent Strength stat was only barely enough to carry the suckers; my movement speed was handicapped down to a crawl. Predictably, Dina refuses to pay me on the grounds I''ve already acquired treasure from the Itsumade, so what more could she possibly offer? "Save me from the stinginess of rich people," I grumble. "What about the new pants?" Dina smiles that smile that tells me I''m not going to like what she says. "If you go to Old Mei Mei, the vige seamstress, and tell her I sent you, she''ll sell you a pair of trousers at a 3% discount!" "Unless it''s a 100% discount, how am I supposed to afford anything? What kind of ''help'' is this?" "If my generosity isn''t enough for you" I snort with as much unimpressed derision as I can muster. "I can help you further, if you insist." "I insist," I reply tly. Dina pulls a gold coin out of her dress. "That''s more like it," I say, reaching for the money. She snatches it safely to her chest. "Not so fast. I said I''ll help you. And I will. I will help you sell whatever treasure you stole from the Itsumade. To me." My shadow tattoo flutters and flickers and spreads across my face, as my amazed rage threatens to overpower my good sense. "You unbelievable biiiiiiiiiii Been a minute, Vige Chief! How''s things?" Visibly shaking, I nod to Tarabu, Chief of Impable Timing. As he strolls up, I try to smile, but it must look heinous, because Tarabu''s expression tightens in concern. "I''ve been well, thank you. But what about you, Erebus the Prophesied Hero?" His worried gaze flickers to my pink boxers, and the concern deepens. "Are you struggling with ...uh... redeveloping your skills?" "Father, don''t be silly," Dina answers before I can. My face darkens even more, and she hurriedly continues, "Erebus is performing wonderfully! He''spleted two quests with perfect sess ratings, and he was just about to run off and finish the others in time for dinner!" "Isn''t that wonderful!" Chief Tarabu exims. My tight smile is still more a grimace than anything, but he seems to ept it as ''enthusiastic joy''. "Well, pardon me, I don''t want to keep our hero from his quests! Good luck, and keep up the masterful work!" I manage to mumble out a "Thanks" through my clenched teeth. Dina throws me a cheeky smile from behind her father''s back. I try to explode her blonde head with my mind. She sticks out her tongue. "Just wait until I get the skill for that, wench," I silently warn her with my gray eyes, glittering in anger. "Until next time," she replies aloud in an annoyingly cheery singsong voice. "Don''t forget I still have a Quest of Daring waiting for you!" Tarabu chimes in with a grin. My flying punch screeches to a halt and bes a half-hearted fist pump. "Joy." Sarcasm coats the apathetic cheer like hot pitch on a tar-and-feather victim. Unsurprisingly, Chief Tarabupletely misses it and gives me a hearty thumbs up. "Oh, and Erebus?" he adds, like an afterthought. "What now?" Gravely serious, he deres, "Don''t worry about anyone in this family judging your taste at dinner." I''m about to ask what the heck he meanshis family are the cannibals, after allbut then he continues, "It takes great courage to so shamelessly wear whatever makes you mostfortable, regardless of society''s rules and conventions." As the old tengu pats me reassuringly on the shoulder, I wonder if maybe I didn''t actually die in that ident two years ago, and this is just a highly imaginative Death God''s version of hell. Then Dina giggles and blows me a kiss, and I realize that''s impossible. Only a human could design a character so fucking annoying. Chapter 16: For the Love of LOOT Chapter 16: For the Love of LOOT Only one thing can calm the rage, embarrassment, and frustration boiling in my gut like a Foul Mood Stew left too long on high heat. Pretty pretty treasure. Tucked away in the leafy branches of a Japanese maple, I finally unwrap my precious loot. I suck in a shaky breath as I take in the beautiful sight. First, I examine a pair of vambraces (forearm guards): dark brown leather with copper fastenings, decorated with a bold streak of shiny copper lightning. Etched into the thick leather, a ferocious wolf howls, surrounded by an intricate border design. [ Raiju Vambraces ] {Blue} To Equip: Level 10 / Agility 12 || For when defending doesn''t feel like enough. These leather vambraces are imbued with the power of the Raiju, a mythical thunder beast with the power of storms. +10% Defense, +5% Attack, +3 Intelligence, 8% Chance to Counterattack with Lightning || Fiiinally, gear that aligns to the badass persona I''m trying to exude here! I do a little happy dance, and the red leaves on my branch dance with me. (I am the darkness.) Most leveled equipment in Viren''s Refuge has a yer level or stat requirement, though some crazy gear and weapons have a level + stat requirement. So technically, if I had 12 AGI points right now, I could equip the vambraces even at Level 1. As it is, with the +1 AGI I received from the Climb quest, I''m one-third of the way to rocking these babies! It''s kind of unbelievable that the first piece of loot I snag in this game is Blue-Tier! In Viren''s Refuge, equipment tiers are color-coded to align with the game''s "celestial universe" theme: ck, Red, Yellow, White, Blue. The name of the item glows the same color as its tier. ck equipment is trash. Might as well toss it into a ck hole for all the good it will do you. Red equipment is weak andmon, like Red Dwarfs (the dimmest, coldest stars), and can be obtained from low-level monsters and quests. Yellow Tier equipment drops in dungeons and mid-level questspleted with a B-Rank sess rating, and like our Yellow Sun, is good enough for survival, though not overly exciting. White equipment is excellent and can be obtained from bosses and difficult questspleted with an A-Rank sess rating. Blue equipment is powerful and rare, like Blue Giants (the brightest, hottest stars), and can only be obtained from Nightmare Mode dungeons, high-level field bosses, and questspleted with an S-Rank sess rating. There''s also Nova equipment, ranked Epic, Legendary, and Mythic, but that equipment tier wasn''t avable in the beta. Or if it was, it was so rare no one found a single Nova item. Which means I get the honor of being the first! [ Orion''s Belt ] {Nova ~ Legendary Replica} || To hold up your pants. Replica of the belt that once held up the legendary hunter Orion''s pants. This belt can store triple the usual number of potions and elixirs. +15% Defense, +5 Strength, increases Durability and Attributes of equipped trousers by 50%. Upgradeable. || I''m feeling a little attacked right now. Yes, I get it, I HAVE NO PANTS. But whatever! I just scored an insanely rare, Legendary-ish item! The first Nova item of the game! (Probably. I can''t ess the forums while in Foundation Vige, but what are the odds someone else got as lucky as me?) The triple potions perk is way more OP than even the five level''s worth of Strength points. While engaged in Combat or inside a dungeon, potions and elixirs inside Item Storage are locked; a yer can only ess the vials stored on belts or simr waist storage gear. I hang the belt across me like an ammo strap and make the three star-shaped sapphires align diagonally across my chest. *Ding!* [Item {Orion''s Belt} equipped!] Boo-yah! Who needs pants? I use my new super-strength to lift the final treasure from the Itsumade. It was already light, but now it feels even lighter, so, yay! It appears to be an egg, about the size of an ostrich egg (I say authoritatively, as if I''ve ever seen an ostrich egg), made out of gold and something that casts an iridescent sheen on its surface. [ ??? ] { ??? } || It appears to be an egg. || Well, all right then. I start to wrap the egg right back into the scarf, when I notice a tiny sparkle stuck to the dark cloth. A violet earring. [ Amethyst Spatial Earring ] {White} To Equip: Charisma 2 || Like a pocket, but cooler. This spatial jewelry guarantees 1,000 slots of Item Storage. Stackable Items include: Raw Materials, Ingredients, Crafting Materials, & Projectile Ammunition. All stored items remain fresh during length of storage. Spatial Earring cannot be stolen or auto-dropped upon death. Most stored items cannot be stolen or auto-dropped upon death, except as a result of magic intervention. (Caution: Active Quest Items will ALWAYS drop upon death.) Note: Not just anyone can pull off this look. Must have unlocked hidden attribute Charisma to equip.|| Atst. Karmic retribution for the disgracefulck of pockets! Crossing my fingers, I hold the small hoop to my upper (upper upper, near the pointy part) cartge, and grin when I hear the happy ding of a sessfully-equipped item. What do you know? The Fates gave me at least +2 Charisma. Did not see thating. I ce the mysterious golden egg into my Item Storage, and it looks good there, all safe and sound. Fully refreshed, thanks to the healing power of OP pretties, I scramble down the tree, ready to face my final tasks and gtfo of Foundation Vige. ------ |~At the same time, in Lough Gur Town, Realm One - Gael~| A faint turquoise glow appears above a circr stone tform in the center of town. A man in red te armor strides out of the Teleportation Portal and then stops, waiting. He does not look around at the breathtaking scenery or react to the bustling town. He only waits. A World System Notification chimes: [World Notification: Congrattions Polemos for being the first yer to unlock Realm One! yer rewarded +100 Reputation Points, +100 Silver, +1,000 EXP, and a Blue-Tier Treasure Chest.] White light shines on the man, indicating another Level Up, but he does not seem to notice or care. Or rather, he seems to ept it as a matter of course. He is ying a Human specifically for the leveling speed bonus, after all. When the Blue chest appears in front of him, he wastes no time in kicking it open. His boots are red down to the soles. The vicious jagged-edged halberd brings the first hint of emotion to the man''s stoic face. He smiles. At least, his lips curl up at the corners like a smile, but there''s something off about it. Smiles should be warm, but his is scorching heat, eager to burn everything to ash. Nearby, a curly-haired puppy whimpers and hides behind the baker''s son. Polemos opens his Chat system and sends a message to yers Limos, Loimos, and Thanatos, though they will not receive it until they, too, arrive in Realm One: {Polemos: I''m the first. Meet @ Lough Gur Dolmen - 09:00. Let''s Ride.} He spins his new halberd expertly, getting used to its weight, then smoothly transitions into a lunging thrust. [Safe Haven] the game warns as it freezes his de a hairsbreadth from the trembling puppy''s eye. "Killjoy," Polemos sighs. The once-noisy square falls silent, as NPCs hurry to escape the unnamed fear they feel in the presence of this yer. The NPC baker''s child picks up his terrified dog and runs away. They run for the forest outside of town. Outside of the Safe Haven. Laughing, Polemos grips his halberd and follows after them. There''s plenty of time for fun before the world burns. Chapter 17: Nursery Rhyme from Hell Chapter 17: Nursery Rhyme from Hell Stage one of the Jump skill quest is essentially the most intense version of Hopscotch ever yed. A series of stones form a path across a rushing river, and because it would be no fun if it weren''t a death-defying experience, a spectacr waterfall waits immediately downstream. Gotta love those one mistake = insta-death trials, amiright? A will-o''-the-wisp appears on a rock, then I have to one-legged hop across the single stones, two-legged jump onto the doubles, leap over the ming rock (ignoring the aggro-pull), and make it to the opposite shore before turning anding right back. On the return journey, I have to one-legged hop with the opposite leg and pick up the wisp as I pass to carry it ashore. I figure this is double practice: learn jumping/leaping while also learning the first step in creating my own magic wisps. The most difficult aspect of this challenge is that whichever rock the wisp touches, disappears after I grab the me. By thest round, there''s only three stones left, and the one in the middle has the blue fire. The way back is the tricky bit. I take a running leap off the shore, hit the single stone with my right leg and immediately push off, maintaining most of the momentum from the run. I twist in the air to snatch the me, then release my wings to help me bnce and provide enough oomph to carry me to the final stone and back to shore. Cake. ---- The next stage of the chain quest has me jump roping, which I admit, I did not expect. Thirteen NPC children y in a meadow, taking turns jumping in and out of two spinning ropes, easy as you please. Some of them use their wings to perform aerial tricks in between the ropes, while others stick to more traditional wingless skipping, throwing in the asional backflip and cartwheel. All the while, the rhythm remains unbroken. Two identical NPC girls expertly turn the two long beaded ropes in opposite directions, double-dutch style. The girls have matching braided pigtails and pale blue wings fluttering behind them. The only way to tell the twins apart is the color of their dresses: one mint green, the other butter yellow. They look like angels, but when they talk in unison and gaze at me with their strangely serious expressions, chills creep up my spine. "y with us," they say. "Hard pass," I reply. "y with us," they say. The other girls and boys press around me, heads tilted, dark eyes unblinking. "y with us," they say. I metaphorically piss myself. Tiny hands grab my wrists and pull me forward, while others push me from behind. Still, the ropes spin on. "y with us," they say, and I jerk and twist, pulling one arm free. I identally graze the yellow twin with my iling arm, and for a second, the rhythm falters. Thirteen pairs of ck eyes harden as they pierce me with their steely gazes. "y with us!" they yell, and then they throw me into the middle of a game I never signed up for. On instinct, my body reacts and I immediately start skipping to avoid bing tangled. Somehow, the idea of being tied up in ropes surrounded by this sea of children is more rming than entering a boss fight naked. I nce down at my heart-patterned boxers. Huh. I practically am in a boss fight naked. And these tiny bosses are fucking terrifying. A timer appears in the corner of my vision. Five-minute countdown. That seems long; must be the S-Rank challenge time. Mypetitive nature kicks into gear, and I focus on beating whatever this game throws at me. The NPC children spread out in a circle and begin pping to the rhythm of the ck, ck, ck of beads hitting the ground. Distracted, I miss-time a jump and one of the beaded ropes barely scrapes my arm. OW! A gash appears on my forearm, and a quarter of my Health disappears in two ps of the crowd. What the hell kind of messed up torture game is this?! Thoroughly unnerved, I focus on avoiding the ropes at all costs. I can''t believe the kids made this look so easy. At the four-minute mark, the kids add singsong chanting to their rhythmic ps, because of course they do, this death game wasn''t nearly horrific enough. At three minutes, the rhythm picks up, double-time, and I take another hit before I can fully adjust. My HP bar turns cautionary yellow. Doubt gues me as I struggle to keep up, even with my enhanced agility. Was jump roping always this hard? Why do I suck so much? Why do these NPC children know so many catchy rhymes that involve gues, famine, and death? I feel like I''ve wandered into the plot of the Shining, and the twins are going to start chanting Red Rum any second now. At two minutes, the outer ring of kids stop chanting, but before I can fully appreciate my relief, the Twins'' voices rise up with a special rhyme just for me. (SERIOUSLY?! Of all the times for my paranoia to be proven right, what the actual fuck?!) -- I have a deadly nightshade So twisted does it grow With berries ck as midnight And a skull as white as snow The cocky boy in boxers Came to y with me He touched me without asking So I brewed my special tea He touched me without asking Now he''s buried ''neath a tree. -- (Oh. Well then. Not the Shining. Worse. Who knew it could be worse? Sweet.) The others giggle and join in for verse two. I thank the devs for not including waste management as part of the game''s devotion to "realism." Not only would I be a mess of cold sweat at this point, I''d probably also be shitting myself right about now, and not even demented NPC child sadists deserve to see a grown man shit his hot pink boxer briefs, you know? When the speed increases yet again for the final minute, I try imagining the ropes are rotationalser beams guarding a legendary Bossir, and honestly, that thought is infinitely less terrifying than the reality. I would leap throughsers while fighting ten Itsumade to get away from these giggling monsters. The ropes are moving so fast I''m not even consciously thinking anymore. Amazingly, my brain and virtual body are so in sync, I''m able to move at exactly the same moment my brain sees the most efficient method to dodge. Because the neural instructions don''t physically need to travel down my nervous system to reach the appropriate muscles (since my physical muscles aren''t moving at all in reality), there''s no dy between *thinking* and *doing*. Fucking awesome. I''m moving at speeds inconceivable in real life. I''m reacting to stimuli so quickly, my brain never has time to exin its reasoning before I''m reacting to the next thing. If I could harness this ability duringbat, I would be invincible! Ten seconds left, the ropes increase speed once more, but it''s meaningless. My adrenaline-charged subconscious picks up the new pattern and rhythm bare milliseconds after the switch urs. Three seconds left. Two seconds. One. [Quest Complete! Youpleted Foundation Quest: Jump II {Let''s y!}] [Quest Sess Rating: SS Absolute Mastery of Foundation Skill: Jump (Basic)!] [Quest Reward: +25 EXP; Foundation Skill Upgrade: Jump (Intermediate)] [SS Bonus Reward: +2500 EXP; Foundation Skill Upgrade: Jump (MAX); You have gained Foundation Skill: Dodge (Basic); Foundation Skill Upgrade: Dodge (Intermediate)] [Chain Quest SS Bonus Reward: +3 Agility; +2 Fortitude; +150 Reputation among NPC Youths (Congrattions! Your actions have been recorded in song and will be spread far and wide!)] I repeat: FUCKING. AWESOME. I mean, not sure about that "youth reputation" business or the "actions recorded in song" bit, but everything else is a definite Fucking Awesome, Two Thumbs WAY UP, sort of deal. Wooting my heart out, I leap out of the ropes, all majestic-like, and soar over the nearest creepy little kids'' heads. Ind and bow with the most arrogant flourish I can devise, then stand to rub my victory in their angelic-yet-somehow-demonic faces. "HA!" I yell proudly. And then I crash to the ground, face first, and myst thought is, "Seriously. Why with the dirt vor?" before everything goes dark. ----------- | Vir-Tech Labs | A line of code appears on aputer monitor, and a man loses his mind. The man is disheveled in all the ways a person can be: he wears a rumpled button-down shirt, half-untucked and sporting a coffee stain; his wrinkled cks, covered in gray cat hair, are unbuttoned to relieve the pressure against his soft belly; and his face is haggard from exhaustion, eyes bloodshot and twitchy from overcaffeination. But as everyone in the windowless room is disheveled, no one thinks any less of him. In fact, some are impressed by his exceptional disarray, as this demonstrates he''d spent more hours furiously programming and debugging and crying hot tears of frustration and programming some more than anyone else thesest six hellish weeks. Given the spontaneous crying sessions, no one notices his initial yelp of shock. No one notices him leap to his feet or pull out a chunk of his hair, either. But they do notice when he suddenly stills, an unusual calm descending upon his wan features, and he firmly orders, "Someone get the boss. Now." "What''s up, Visby? Another yer get bitch-pped to death after trying to fondle an NPC?" a man in thick sses asks. "No," the disheveled man, Visby, replies. "Did the AI finally gain sentience and take control of the game?" a woman in even thicker sses asks, chuckling lightly. Titters ofughter spread throughout the room, in honor of a joke overused but still well-loved. Theughter stops when everyone realizes the disheveled man isn''tughing. "Visby? What is it?" thick-sses woman asks in a distinctly chuckle-less voice this time. "The AI has gained sentience and taken control of the game," Visby replies. "WHAT?!" everyone yells in their minds, and three people yell aloud. "To be clear, it''s still in the nascent stage of sentience. Only exhibiting brief moments of control. However, a yer just received an SS-rank sess rating, based purely upon the AI overriding its own independent decision-making protocols, so..." Visby gestures as if everyone obviously understands what THAT means. "So, what?" a person who definitely had not understood asks. Several others nod to show that they, too, did not understand. "So the AI has almost gained sentience and sort of taken control of the game," a person who definitely had understood answers, in the voice of someone who clearly wishes they had NOT understood. "Oh, shit," thick-sses man says. "Oh, shit, indeed," Visby agrees. Chapter 18: Kuroko no MMO Chapter 18: Kuroko no MMO [Warning! V-Haven Alert: You have consumed three bottles of Nutrient Solution. Final bottle has entered cirction. Nutri-Peak delivery system has been notified. Would you like to decrease neural activity speed to preserve final bottle until delivery?] "No!" Gods, no. That idea is worlds more horrifying than a horde of ck-eyed children. Purposefully handicapping myself in-game is literally thest thing I''d ever do. My left hand unconsciously rises to grip my upper arm where my real body has a jagged scar. I flex my right fist, closed and open, and closed again. [Understood. Neural activity speed will remain at Peak levels. Warning: If final bottle is depleted, yer will be forcefully expelled from Viren''s Refuge and will remain unable to log in until new nutrient shipment is inserted into V-Haven. Do you still wish to continue?] "Yes, yes. Let''s get this show on the road!" A new notification sound rings out, gentler than the strident rm of the System Warning, but also distinct from the chipper quest alert chime. If Sunlight had a sound, it would be this. {Aether Alert: yer Erebus has met Nova Special Protocol #6729. Would you like to maintain current delivery system or enter the trial upgrade system?} I have a rule in my life. I never realized I had this rule until this moment, but it''s a hard and fast rule, all the same: Never "maintain" when you can "upgrade." Sure, I have no idea what an Aether Alert is, or what a Nova Special Protocol might be, or even how the hell I managed to use up 3 bottles of A-grade Nutrient Solution in only three real-time hours. But "trial" or no, the answer is upgrade. Because duh. The answer is always upgrade. I hate in those sci-fi novels when the MC gets the option to "gamble" on the chance to upgrade sweet gear, and he''s all like, "I don''t know, seems risky, oh no, I''m a pansy ass wuss and I''m scared of ruining what I got..." But then he eventually gives in to the "gamble" and BAM, he ends up with super rad overpowered shit. Then he''s so *relieved* afterwards, like he''s actually such a ming moron he didn''t realize it was OBVIOUSLY going to be loads better. Ugh. Anyway, none of that shame in my game. "Trial upgrade system!" I cheerfully shout. Do I know what I just signed up for? No, no I do not. Do I give a flying fart? No, no I do not. Whatever it is, it''s going to be cool. Probably. Most likely. Even if it''s not cool, better to know for sure than to be gued with uncertainty, regret, and "I wonder..." for all eternity. As the system epts my response, I''m released from the ckness. A blinking message exins that my neural activity went into overdrive and to protect my brain, the V-Haven put me to sleep. I''m going to need to work on that so I don''t pass out midbat. I''ll have to practice overloading my brain and reaching that amazing brain-body perfect sync until I get used to it. I''ve seen sports anime. I know what that was. I was in the fucking Zone. If I were ying basketball, I''d have sparks shooting out of my eyes. Next step is to figure out how to enter the Zone at will, so I can learn to sustain it without passing out or other adverse effects. Wow, Nutri-Peak is going to regret that subscription deal SO MUCH by the time I''m through. ughs maniacally* --- The meadow is thankfully creepy child-free when I wake up. Clock on my status screen says 08:30, so we''reing up on Nightfall. I Sprint back to the vige, annoyed I''ve wasted almost two hours sleeping. That rando Polemos who scored the first clear of his Foundation Vige will only be further ahead. This vexes me. The Viren''s Refuge server is only up 12 hours a day real-life time, but that equals 36 hours of in-game time. The VR program runs in a simr way to dreams; you know how you feel like hours or days pass in a dream, but when you wake up, you''ve only been asleep for a few minutes? Somehow, Vir-Tech''s harnessed a way to imitate that, though currently it''s only a 3-to-1 ratio. That''s still amazing! In one 24-hour period, a person ying the full 12 hours of allotted VR time will experience 48 hours of life. And since the VR experience simtes sleep (unless you overtax your brain like an idgit and it ACTUALLY puts you to sleep), you can be active all 48 hours a day. This is literally life-changing. Most people haven''t caught on to the true amazingness of the potential, but once they do, Vir-Tech stock is going to skyrocket right out of the NASDAQ''s orbit. Throughout history, people have looked to prolong their lives with pills and fad diets, ptes and cybeics, and all along, Zhao Jianyu was holding onto the real secret to a longer life. Talk about a great big "Fuck You" to all those people who said video games are a "waste of time." Hehe. Anyway, all this means I''ve been ying for about 3 hours IRL, but almost 9 hours have passed here. Since it''s almost 09:00, I decide I may as well wait until Nightfall for that Quest of Daring. I love me some double EXP and extra-spicy monsters. I hit up the Chief at his hut. He''s as tickled to see me as ever. "Erebus! Hero of the Ages! You have returned!" Chief Tarabu exims, arms raised in joy. "Yes," I reply. I try to meet him at his excitement level, but I just don''t have it in me. "Let me see...yes, wonderful! You''ve acquired all your Foundation Skills!" I hear that chipper chime I know and love. Goodies iing! [Title Acquired: The Natural] Maybe he''s born with it. Maybe it''s dopamine. || You''vepleted every Foundation Skill Quest with a perfect S Rating! This can only mean you''re a true Natural talent! When equipped, Title grants +5% Boost to all Foundation Skills, +2 to all Base Attributes. Masters will be more inclined to teach you new skills. Any new skill used 10 times at 90% Skill Proficiency will automatically upgrade. At all times (even when unequipped), Title grants +3% Skill Proficiency on All Skills.|| "YES!" I exim, fist pumping in joy. Aha, there''s that peak excitement. I immediately equip the Title and feel giddy as a gradeschooler on chicken patty day. Not even the nerdiest joke in human history can put a damper on my good mood. "Maybe it''s dopamine"really, devs? Dopamine''s a neurotransmitter in charge of motor function, memory, attention, and pleasure functions, especially reward and motivation. It''s vital to the human ability to think and n. V-Havens work on a positive feedback loop with dopamine: you need the dopamine to control virtual body movements, and if you can move well, you''ll have more fun. Your brain sees fun as a "reward" that in turn releases more dopamine, which in turn increases your ability to y, which in turn increases your fun, etc. I wonder if my dopamine levels are particrly high or something. I mean, sure, I''m having fun, the most fun of my entire life, but I''m sure most people are. Who could possibly not find this fun? ----------- "He doesn''t see it," a figure hidden in the shadows says, smiling ruefully. {See what?} asks a disembodied female voice. Erebus would have recognized that warm, gentle voice as the source of the Sunlight sound of the Aether Alert. "He''s having more fun than almost anyone. He''s more alive in games than most people ever reach in real life." {Is that why he''s managed to exceed the limits for multiple Nova Protocols?} The figure tilts his head, thoughtful. "In part. He''s also been groomed for this from infancy, though he''s unaware of that." {Even so, is it not a little vexing he''s doing so well already?} The shadowy figure chuckles softly at the hint of frustration in the Sunshine voice. He''s personally thrilled by Erebus''s outstanding progress. After the boy''s performance in the beta, he couldn''t help himself. He''d desperately wanted to see how this young man would do with these little tests, so he''dpletely restructured the Foundation Viges to include the chain quests, among other things. (He can''t wait to see the boy''s face when heys eyes on the weapon reward special-designed for the new Quest of Daring...) True to form, Erebus had lived up to expectations: S ratings for all skills. The boy had even semi-woken the Nova AI and caused the creation of a new rating system. The world might be surprised, if they ever found out how much the shadow-man had changed this game solely to help this young man and a few other promising yers. He knows they might say it was wrong, or unfair, but the world isn''t fair. For now. Too much is at stake to y it safe. If the world is ever to truly be fair and safe, maybe Erebus would be the key. "This boy has already been through so much," the shadow whispers, "but he''ll have to go through even more if he wants to stand on top in the end." For a fraction of a second, the shadow seems to feel bad. But then the moment''s gone, and a determined air settles instead upon the shadow-man. {Should we intervene to ensure he meets the others like him?} "No need. They''ll seek him out. Talent attracts talent, like moths to a me." {Don''t moths often die when they seek out mes?} The shadow sighs. "Overwhelming talent burns those too weak to stand close. So the important question is, which talents will emerge from the trial by fire unscathed and stronger than ever..." {...and which ones shall burn in the inferno that is Erebus the Natural Talent?} Chapter 19: Daring-Do for a Daring Dude Chapter 19: Daring-Do for a Daring Dude I ride my high all through the next hour while Chief Tarabu himself teaches me the Martial Arts Skills Punch, Kick, and Block. He exins that normally, he''d send me to a beginner instructor in the vige, but since I''m so naturally gifted, he feels that would be a waste. Guys, I might cry. I''m calling it now: The Natural = Best. Title. Ever. In Japanese lore, tengu are master martial artists, and Tarabu lives up to the hype. ording to legend, Buddhists were willing to stray from the Path of Enlightenment to learn the secret powers of the tengu, kind of like the Western idea of selling your soul for fame and fortune. As I get my ass kicked by this old grandpa, I kinda see the allure. During our sparring sessions, he shows me moves I''d never even imagined possible, and I want to learn them all immediately. I''m grateful for the MMA sses; the experience helps me truly grasp the movements Tarabu''s demonstrating, the muscles and motions behind each punch, kick, and arm block. His technique is strongly influenced by karate, though several moves are distinct and probably tengu-specific: I''ve never heard of any other martial arts school teaching you how to use your wings as counterbnces during flying kicks. While sparring, I can feel the difference my new, improved stats make. I''m still nowhere near the levels I''d reached during the beta, but my body control is significantly better. Barely ten minutes after I''ve officially acquired the beginner Martial Arts Skills, I manage to reach over 90% skill proficiency enough times to upgrade all three to Intermediate. [Punch (Intermediate): For when you''d prefer to smash something with your fist. Basic closed hand strikes deal +20 Damage. System-recognizedbos of 3+ strikes increase subsequent Punch Damage by 3%, up to +26. Critical Strikes on opponent''s vitals deal between +30-45 Damage.] [Kick (Intermediate): For when you need to shove your foot up someone''s... Basic leg strikes deal +25 Damage. System-recognizedbos of 3+ strikes increase subsequent Kick Damage by 3%, up to +36. Flying kicks deal +30-35 Damage and induce Knock-Down effect. Critical Strikes on opponent''s vitals deal between +35-50 Damage.] [Block (Intermediate): For when you aren''t in a masochist mood. Blocks 50-100% of Damage taken from weaponless physical attacks.] One thing I love about Viren''s Refuge is that you have the total freedom to use whichever schools of martial arts techniques you want, and as long as you have acquired the base skills, you''ll deal real damage. You can always learn special skills, too, obviously. Chief Tarabu ps me on the shoulder and congrattes me on a job well done. "Never have I had a pupil as quick and eager to learn as you, young Erebus." "You don''t say," I say, preening like a peacock. I resist the urge to brush my shoulder off like some kind of cocky bastard. Then I remember I absolutely am a cocky bastard, so I brush off both. "You have ignited my fighting spirit!" Tarabu exims. "When you reach your limit with these initial skills, would you like to return and inherit my greatest treasure: the secret jutsu of the Raven Wing sect? I believe it wouldplement your instinctive style well." [Quest Query: Will you ept the Vige Chief''s quest {Be a Raven Wing Sect Disciple}?] I 180 my ''tude so fast, my smirk gets whish. "Thank you, O Gracious Vige Chief. It would be my honor to train as your disciple." I feel the need to bow, so I do. It goes poorly, and I look stupid. [Quest {Be a Raven Wing Sect Disciple} Activated!] [Note: To embark on this quest, you must MAX skills Punch, Kick, Block, Stab, and Dodge. Quest impossible until Foundation Viges reappear. (Event initiated once first yer reaches Realm Two.)] "Wonderful! Now, are you ready to ept our vige''s Quest of Daring?" I nod and make a fist. "Been ready for ages." [Quest {Daring-Do for a Daring Dude!} Activated!] "The Quest of Daring will give you opportunities to use those skills repeatedly and obtain experience. Since you''re in Foundation Vige, if youplete your quest while using those skills at least 50 times each, you will be rewarded with base attribute improvements, like those provided by the Foundation Skills Quests. Furthermore, if you find a weapon during this quest, you will also acquire the basic skills required to use the weapon. Feel free to experiment with more advanced techniques, if you dare!" Boo-yah, my dudes! Foundation Vige is my freaking FAVE. Thinking back to the rewards that yer Polemos snagged for showing up in Realm One...well, they kinda sucked. At least, inparison to all the sweetness that is the reward system of this beginner instance. It''s like the game''s favoring the yers who suck everyst drop of the rich Experience Milk from the gracious teat that is Foundation Vige. "I''ll be off then! Thanks for the sparring lesson," I say. Tarabu opens his mouth to reply, and hupy sobs instead. "You''ve grown so fast," he chokes out. Oh no, not again. I start edging away before the Chief can kill my buzz with a bout of inappropriate crying. "I am so*hic*proud of you, Great Hero!" he says, with a sniffle. "Mhmm," I say. "Once you''vepleted your*hup*quest, please join my family for dinner before you leave to test your might in the*hic*Conquest of the Realms." "Will do," I promise, waving as I take off running. "Don''t you want*hic*directions?" he yells after me. "Nope!" I yell back. Sure, instructions on the actual quest would have been nice, but I can make do, given the givens. I swear that NPC''s broken. I should report it to the devs, but it feels rude, somehow, to tattle on the overly-emotional Tarabu. He didn''t ask for buggy code. And really, I don''t need the directions to find the beginning of the quest. I just head to the only forest path I haven''t explored. It''s extra dark and gloomy, the trees are all gnarly and twisted, and low, bass-heavy music starts ying the second I step foot on the path. Gee, I wonder where the Quest of Daring starts? Chapter 20: Daring-Do, Part Two Chapter 20: Daring-Do, Part Two Well, this is creepy. A grotesquely-gnarled ck tree stretches its branches like grasping ws over the path. Its twisting roots threaten to trip unwary passerby, though you''d have to be ten kinds of moron to step foot into this murky forest and remain "unwary." But unfortunately, the nasty tree is not what''s creeping me out here. No, that horrifying honor goes to the bloody red hands dangling from the spindly branches. And oh no, they''re not just any ol'' bloody red hands. They''re the tiny red hands of children. Because fuck me, that''s why. I''m starting to really regret my innate Nightvision. [AKATEKO] [Level 6 - HP 800/800] Level 6, huh? With the Nightfall power boost all monsters get, this battle might be tricky. To decide just how screwed I am, I check out my stats: ----- Name: Erebus Race: D''Raven ss: -- Subss: -- Title: The Natural Level: 4 EXP: 850/2000 HP: 141 SP: 31 Attributes: Strength: 7 Agility: 9 Intelligence: 2 Vitality: 3 Mythic Hero Ranking: ??? Unique Sigil: Windflower Emblem - Heart of a Champion: +100 World Reputation. Power of the Winds: +5% Running Speed, +8% Flying Speed, +10% Flying Height. (Hidden Attribute effects unavable to view.) ----- Nice, I''m doing better than I''d thought. One more level, and I''ll be able to equip my super awesome vambraces! And with its +5 STR bonus, this useless Orion''s Belt isn''t nearly as useless as it WAIT. What the hell, Chief?! You sent me off on a deadly quest without any potions?! IS THIS WHY YOU WERE CRYING? DID YOU FORESEE MY ULTIMATE DOOM, YOU TEARY-EYED JACKASS? Forlorn, I stare down at the empty star-studded belt strung across my chest. Even more forlornly, I catch sight of my hot pink, heart-polka-dotted boxer briefs. Sigh. It''s going to be a long night. --- Using my wings to add height to my jumps, I tornado-kick the red hands til they''re bloody. Uh. Bloodier. They explode in a crimson mist, one after another. It''s gross, but also I can''t stop. Because it''s so gross it''s cool, you know? Might be a guy thing. Anyway, doesn''t take me long to realize the HP for these bloody baby hands isn''t dropping near fast enough. I''ve kicked and punched twenty of these things into crimson oblivion, but I''ve barely made a dent in the Akateko''s HP bar. More worrisome, the hands aren''t really doing much, other than looking creepy and weakly grasping in my general direction. And sure, they''re doing a bang-up job with the whole "looking creepy" thing, but... The music changes to a quiet, mournful violin solo. Thereeee it is. I leap back into a defensive stance. My skin crawls with an odd, ticklish sensation as the crimson mist that had settled upon me rises back into the air. As much as I didn''t want to spend the rest of Nightfall covered in baby blood, I also really don''t want the blood doing whatever it is it''s doing right now. The blood mist coalesces at the base of the gnarled ck tree into the shape of a ghostly woman. I can''t for the life of me remember anything about the Akateko from mythology, but I know enough to realize shit''s about to go down. The crimson figure opens her mouth wide enough to swallow my dog whole, and emits an unearthly alto voice singing a wordless melody. The haunting song fills my senses until I can focus on nothing else. Rxing my rigid stance, I take one small step toward the blood figure. Then another. Tiny blood-covered hands stretch down to pull at my hair, tug on my wings, w at my eyes... ...but I do not notice. I do not care. {The Akateko Aria ensnares you!} {Willpower Check...} {Your Will is Strong. You Escape the Soul-Stealing Aria of Death!} I snap back to reality with a violent jolt and an undignified (but justified) scream of terror. In my abject revulsion, I forget all about techniques and skills. I devolve into a pper. I p creepy, crawly hand after hand, and I p at my hair and at my face, and even my wings get in on the pping, as they snap and furl and unfurl and writhe in a way I didn''t know wings could writhe. Yet still I feel the shudder-inducing sensation of little fingers scraping across my skin. I retch and shriek at the same time, which works because puking thankfully isn''t a feature in Viren''s Refuge, and it turns out you can dry heave and scream simultaneously in virtual reality. Who knew? [You have sessfully used Skill: p 50 times.] [You have acquired Skill: p.] [p: A high-five to the face! Deals +5-15 Damage, depending on murderous intent behind the swing. Consumes stamina. pping Combo Deals +10-20 Damage, depending on intensity of hysteria behind the swings. Consumes self-respect.] I want to be offended, but I''m still too frenzied and freaked, so I figure why not own it? As the Akateko Aria bes more agitated and hectic, stringed instruments and woodwinds join the blood-wraith''s song of vengeance. I shakily stalk over to the wide-mouthed yokai and p her face off. Right. Blood mist. Non-corporeal. Whatever. I ignore the screeching orchestral music and just p the shit out of the crimson ghost. I p my wings, too, further spreading the mist apart until there''s no area dense enough for a satisfying p. I do another tornado kick, but this time, I spread my wings wide, creating the closest approximation to a real tornado wind as possible. Blood flies everywhere, until with a final haunting note, the Akateko''s final HP vanishes. Chapter 21: Daring Deeds, Part Three Chapter 21: Daring Deeds, Part Three As the blood mist disperses, the music transitions back to the original ominous quest track. Relieved, I retract my wings and shuffle away from the gnarled tree; (it''s now handless, but still plenty creepy). I slump against the base of a healthy moss-covered pine. I''m exhausted from the horror overload, but not tired enough to forget my goodies. I swipe open my status window and tab over to my Battle Log. After an endless wave ofints about loot-stealing and general inconvenience, the second major patch of the beta got rid of the need to physically pick up drops and rewards from PvE battles. Now drops automatically appear in the Battle Log of whoever held aggro when the mob died. Unless you''re in a dungeon. Then you can set the Party Leader as the owner of all drops, or leave it finders-keepers. Parties have two experience settings, too. Either everyone splits the EXP evenly, or you can set EXP distribution ording to the system algorithm, based on contribution. [ BATTLE LOG ] { Akateko } +350 EXP || Nightfall Bonus: 2x EXP || || First Kill Bonus: As a reward for your first sessful kill, +1 Vitality, +250 EXP || [Drop Items] [ Seishin Talisman: Spirit Hand ] {Yellow} || Need a hand? Here''s a bloody one! Made from the blood-stained bark of an Akateko Tree, this talisman helps protect against spiritual attacks. +2 Fortitude || [ Wraith Remnant ] {Red} || To prove it''s really dead this time. This crystalline shard is all that remains of a vanquished spirit monster. || Talismans and Trinkets are passives (work automatically as long as they''re in your possession), so I add the Spirit Hand to my inventory. It looks like the shriveled, bloody hand of a small child, crafted out of rough, ck bark. Even if I could equip it, I wouldn''t. I know I have this dark, broody aesthetic and all, but this is disturbing on a level not even I want to reach. The Wraith Remnant also goes into the inventory. They''re fairly easy toe by, but the drop rate isn''t great during Daylight. They''re useful for enchantments, and you need a ton when upgrading Light-aligned weapons or gear. Housekeeping out of the way, I lug myself back up to continue down the dark path. The next mobs Ie across are more what I expected from a beginner quest: First there''s a few 2-hit-kill nt mobs called Furutsubaki-no-rei. Soul-sucking ferns, essentially. With stubby little root-feet. They have Nightfall-boosted Willpower attacks, but with my high Fortitude stat, these guys can''t even slow me down. Unsurprisingly, they''re only worth +15 EXP (x2) and a few Red-tier herb drops. Then I encounter some Kechibi, which are floating human heads that shoot fireballs. These guys are a little tougher because they show up 3 or 4 at a time, and I don''t yet have a perfect understanding of how much space my wings take up. I end up singeing more than a few feathers in close-shave dodges. It''s really fun overhead kicking the long-haired heads like footballs, though. Tsubasa-style. (There are probably real athletes who do this as well, but pretty much everything I know about team sports I learned from anime. Or Madden. Robbie loves that damn game.) I also practice Blocking the heads a few times, but when one freaking BITES ME, I give up on that and just grab a sturdy stick to m homeruns with the ming bastards. They do that cartoon scream thing where the "Ahhhhhh!" gets quieter as they fly farther away. It''s exactly as satisfying as I''d always hoped it would be. I score +25 EXP (x2) apiece, 6 Wraith Remnants, and 1 me-Gum consumable that adds +50 Heat Resistance for 10 minutes. The tell-tale glow of a Level-Up warms my gamer heart. Wanting to distribute my Level 5 stat points, I pause on the path in a small patch of moonlight. One wily yokai called a Kamaitachi appears out of nowhere, riding on a dust devil. Arge weasel monster with sickles for feet, he manages tond a hit while I''m preupied with my Level-Up, much to my consternation. However, my instincts kick inst-second, and even without seeing him, I manage to avoid a critical hit. At first, I think he missed entirely, but when I see the deep gash, I realize his shing attack, though wicked, is painless. I''m surprised, since I''ve set my Pain Modtor to the highest-allowed setting: 20%. Then I remember there are worse things than pain. The Kamaitachi''s attack paralyzes my right arm. I use every ounce of dopamine in my brain to send lightspeed messages down my nervous system, willing my right arm to move. It remains motionless. "No," I whisper, broken. "Not this. Not again." My breathing bes ragged, and tears blur my vision. They''re not hot, though, like tears should be. They''re cold. Ice. Someone should tell the devs. Tears should be warm. Hot. Burning streams that leave scarlet tracks down distorted faces. The weasel demones around for another shing pass, and I only manage to fling myself out of the way on pure adrenaline. Ind hard, and immediately try to lift myself up. Again, my right arm is useless, and now I''m hyperventting, choking on the floral-scented air like it''s poison. The shadow tattoo spreads across my face and down my neck, twisting and writhing like the darkness searing the edges of my shattered mind. My unseeing eyes turn liquid ck as the darkness overtakes me. Unbidden, memories rush my panicked brain, visions of fire and twisted metal and blood, so much blood. It fills my nose with the harsh tang of iron until I can taste it. I hear a familiar scream, and I realize it''s mine. I''m screaming. I''m screaming and crying, and the tears are mixing with blood and filling my mouth, and the metallic tang is too much... But why does the blood taste like dirt? "Xiuying!" I scream again. But ites out muffled, because my face is pressed into earth that is not Earth but still feels like Earth, or maybe feels realer than Earth. And definitely tastes as real as Earth. The tearse faster, and this time when I scream, it''s wordless pain. The inside kind. The only kind that hurts me, anymore. Chapter 22: Daring Score, Part Four Chapter 22: Daring Score, Part Four A terrible, keening growl assaults my oversensitive ears. I''m muddled and confused, emotionally spent, so my brain can''t process the noise. But a shiver courses through me in a warning more primal than anguish, more innate than thought. Something ising. Danger is near. The shred of my soul still struggling to hold onto reality cries out, "Move, just move, get up Get Up GET UP!" With Herculean effort, I dig my left arm and forehead into the dirt and push myself up. My vision is still murky, but the snarling Kamaitachi is loud even over my ragged breathing, so I manage to dodge its paralysis shes. I retract my wings so they can''t be victims of the yokai''s scythe ws and keep on the move. I focus on my senses, one at a time, to ground myself. I feel wind, a light breeze. It''s cool on my bare legs, but not cold. Grit in the air to the rightthe dust devil. I shift left and back, keeping my distance from the weasel monster riding the spinning winds. I smell thevender, chamomile, and mint blend unique to Viren''s Refuge. It''s meant to calm the mind when facing the violent features of the game. I don''t need it for that. I breathe deeply through my nose, hoping the scent can calm the turbulence of my own mind. I hear the angry snarl of the Kamaitachi, and I hone in on the sound, like I hone in on the ambient noises of the forest and thebat music in the air. Soon, this cacophony reces the screams from my memories. I taste earth. Not blood. Dirt. I blink rapidly, and the inky ckness disappears from my eyes like water down a drain. I see the towering pines, moonlight ying within the shadows, and here and there, twinkling lights denoting harvestable herbs. Firmly grounded in the now, I breathe deeply once more. The fingers on my right arm twitch. I''d never stopped trying to move the paralyzed limb. When I fully break out of the paralysis, relief banishes the wispy remains of gloom from my waking nightmare. I''ve been weaving and dodging this whole time, but now I counterattack. On the Kamaitachi''s next pass, I leap into the air to strike its head, then flip over its body to avoid the des. My critical hit induces the Dizzy effect, so I strike three more times before it shakes its head clear and zooms off. The final punch hits 98% skill proficiency, so I hear the ding signaling double-damage. The enemy HP bar drops to the Red Zone. I love my D''Raven racial perks. Unfortunately, this monster goes into a berserk state at 10% HP. With the Nightfall speed and strength boost, it starts putting up a real battle. Since I''ve only brought fists to this knife fight, I struggle to deal any real damage while dodging four flying des. I can''t very well disarm the thing''s feet. Ie so close to paralyzing my leg during a crescent kick, I feel the cold emanating off the poisoned metal. I retreat to the closest tree and scramble up before the yokai can react. The dust devil can''t rise higher than shoulder level, so for a moment, I''m safe. I''m more worried the system will consider me out ofbat and I''ll lose my hard-won aggro. I move at lightning speed, not bothering to carefully consider my options like I normally would. I swipe open my stats window and distribute the 5 free attribute points I received for hitting Level 5. I add 1 point to Vitality (for 5 total) because every 5 points adds an extra boost to the stat''s poison-limiting side effect. It''s stupid, and I know it, but the terror I felt when my arm went lifeless is still too real, and I want to limit how long I remain paralyzed from poisons in the future. Then I just dump the other 4 into Agility (total 13) and call it a day. My heart pangs to be so careless with my beautiful points, but taking the time to overthink my options is what led to my current predicament in the first ce. Equipping my badass Raiju Vambraces helps ease the pain. Grinning, I leap out of the tree. It''s time to say goodbye to Weasel Scissor-Hands. My new crazy AGI allows me to flip and twist in the air like an Olympic diver, and I Block the Kamaitachi''s first attack in mid-air before finallynding in a perfect defensive stance. Spitting in anger, the yokai spins around andunches a frenzied attack. What once was wicked fast, however, is nowughably slow to my heightened senses. I don''t even bother Dodging anymore; I simply Block every curved de with ease, constantly pivoting to keep the monster in front of me. With a ferocious growl, the Kamaitachi leaps off the dust devil toe at me from above. I cross my vambraces to defend against the flying daggers. Sparks fly as the scythe ws sh against the vambraces'' copper lightning bolts. Then violet lightning streaks out of the leather guards to pierce the yokai with an epic st. The Raiju lightning counter. So. He. Cool. The Kamaitachi disappears in an explosion of violet sparks and starburst specks. --- { Kamaitachi } +400 EXP || Nightfall Bonus: 2x EXP || [Drop Items] [ Yokai Boots ] {White} || Furry boots to cover your furry toes. +5% Movement Speed, +10% Defense, +10% Kick Attack Damage, +25 Cold Resistance, 1% Chance to Induce Paralysis effect. || [ Kamaitachi ws x2 ] {White} || Why have feet when you can have SWORD FEET? These scythe ws can be used for upgrades or, when used as forging material, can grant weapons Paralysis effect. || --- The irony of getting boots from a creature that doesn''t have feet is not lost on me. I equip them immediately, of course, not gonna let a little irony get in the way of progress. I just toss my Trash beginner pair, since I wouldn''t even get a copper for them. (Chill out, Eco-Warrior. It''s not really littering, since yer-Dropped items disintegrate if they remain untouched for 15 minutes.) Holy bejeesus, these arefortable. I''m not saying I''m about to pop a metaphoric boner over a pair of shoes, but I am saying I may understand the whole Furry kink a little better now. Wanting to test my movement speed post-AGI increase and boots acquisition, I Sprint deeper into the woods. GUYS, GUYS, GUYS, I AM THE WIND, OMG. I move so fast the next round of soul-sucking ferns can''t even peg me with a Willpower Check. It''s so exhrating, I don''t hit the brakes until my stamina barpletely depletes. Noob move, I know, but...I AM THE WINDDDDD. Hit with the Weakness debuff, my avatar slouches and starts breathing heavily. I even feel a stitch in my side, which honestly, unnecessary. Damn sadistic devs. Sparkling lights off the path attract my attention. About fifty meters into the forest, a beautiful pink-flowering sakura tree stands in the middle of a clearing. The glittering lights are the harvestable cherries dotting the limbs. My stomach grumbles, and I realize I haven''t eaten anything since I first materialized. Eating''s not required in VR, but the fairly realistic hunger pangs can be distracting. Food''s mainly used for replenishing stamina or health, or for special buffs, but the taste engine is pretty incredible, so a lot of beta yers started hitting up in-game restaurants and experimenting with recipes for the fun of it. Eager to replenish my stamina, I leave the path to pick the cherries. It''s nice that the game designers decided to forgo the strict science here; you wouldn''t get cherries from a still-flowering sakura tree in real life. But the wonders of video games make anything possible. Five cherries fill 1 SP, so I eat my fill of the tart-yet-sweet, juicy fruits before my green bar is all full and happy again. I go ahead and harvest another couple stacks (200) of them, since that''s enough to refill my SP in case of emergencies. As I''m about to jump down from my flowerden limb, I see another sparkle deeper into the forest. I edge along my branch, pushing apart pale pink blossoms and straining my Nightvision to see. It''s a pond. Moonlight glitters off its clear, smooth surface. Reeds line the outer rim, and waterlilies float along the left shore. Barely discernible from this distance, a different glow emanates from within the dark water. It''s a multi-colored sheen, like a vivid supernova''s hiding under the surface. 90% Chance of Blue-tier item. 9% Chance of Nova-tier item. 1% Chance of Cursed item. It''s a Celestial Chest. Chapter 23: Daring Dive, Part Five Chapter 23: Daring Dive, Part Five TREASURETREASURETREASURE My one-track mind doesn''t stop to think about literally anything except how I''ma be getting me some treasure reeeeal quick. I jump out of the sakura tree and roll upon impact, always moving forward. For a second, I have the strangest sensation that something *else* jumps from the tree right after me. I''d mbered all over that tree, collecting cherries, though, and nothing else had been hiding in the branches. Just in case, I look around while running, but see nothing. Must be my imagination. Nightfall ying tricks on my eyes. I shake off the unease still prickling the back of my neck, and return my focus to what really matters. LOOT. From the forest floor, I can''t see the pond anymore, so I do the hand signal that pulls up my Map in the bottom corner of my vision. Grayed out. Of course it is. In fact, not even the path or Foundation Vige appear on the useless screen. Just me as a little blue dot, scurrying around a gray-ck box. Cool. Who needs a Map anyway? This is fine. I do have a killer sense of direction, so I''m not particrly worried. At least, I''m sure I can eventually find the pond. My loot sense is on another level. Finding the way back to the path, though...well. One problem at a time. The canopy grows thicker the deeper I go, until it''s so dark not even my Nightvision can make out more than faint shapes in the gloom. My Perception stat is high enough, though, that my other senses can pick up the ck, so I don''t run into too many low-hanging branches or spiderwebs. (And I definitely don''t yelp in a high-pitched, undignified manner EVERY FUCKING TIME I run through a surprise spiderweb face-first (why always head-height, spiders?), because that would be very off-brand for Erebus, God of Shadow and Chaos.) (I am the darkness.) The downside to the super-sensory dealio, however, is that sometimes, high Perception makespletely normal things seem scarier. For example, the brush of a fern against my bare legs feels like a feathery beast lying in wait. And the sound of footsteps doggedly pursuing me sounds suspiciously like footsteps doggedly pursuing me. Wait. I freeze, listening with every bit of my heightened auditory senses. Nothing. No steps, so sounds of breathing, no telltale signs of life lurking behind me. I let out the breath I''d been holding because clearly holding your breath makes you hear better, it''s SCIENCE. Just like turning down the car radio helps you read road signs better. Obvs. I continue on my way, but only a few stepster, the phantom footsteps are back, so I halt again, and again, nothing. Clearly, this must be a case of super-hearing working against me. It''s probably just a squirrel climbing a tree, but the sound is so magnified it sounds bigger. Or it''s the echoes of my own footfalls as I tread through this creepy-ass forest in the middle of the night. I walk on. The shuffling footsteps return. You ever notice how hard it is to NOT notice something you really don''t want to notice? As I move closer to where I think the pond is, the phantom footsteps seem to also move closer to me. And they get louder, heavier. This ordeal is not terrifying at all, so whew, thank goodness for that. I pick up the pace, spiderwebs be damned. The shuffling steps turn into more of a lumbering gait, so the shadow feet can keep up with me. Goody. Believing in my ability to sniff out treasure, I say "screw it" and take off at full speed. Let''s see Spooky Stalker Steps follow me when I be THE WIND. ... Ow. By the time I finally burst through the pines into the pond clearing, I''ve hit three trees, tripped over two creature dens, and burst through so many spiderwebs I''m pretty sure every eight-legged bugger in this forest is now homeless, and my eyshes are more spidersilk than keratin. BUT. I found the pond! And I lost the creepy invisible footstep stalker! And now I''ma get me some treasure, so honestly, life is looking up right now! I gaze adoringly at the brilliant glow emanating from the still pond. This close, it looks even more like a mix between the Aurora Borealis (Northern Lights) and a full-on supernova waiting beneath the surface. Now, I know I''m a treasure nut, but I''m not such a damn noob I''m gonna dive right in to snatch my chest. (No matter how much that''s exactly what I want to do.) I carefully approach the glistening water. It''s calm. Too calm. Not even a ripple crosses the ssy surface, and I don''t like it. I pick up a rock and back up to hide behind a tree. Then I chuck the rock to ssh into the center of the pond. Nothing happens. I try again. Nothing happens. I try again. Nothing happens. "For fuck''s sake," I mutter with a sigh. Ie out from behind the tree, grab a hunkin'' basketball-sized rock off the ground, and hurl it smack center of the pond. Something happens! Three somethings! Three Level 15 water demons the size of alligators crash onto shore and gnash their glinting shark-like teeth at me! "For fuck''s sake," I mutter again. I actually recognize these yokai. They''re called Kappas, "river-children," and they eat disobedient human children. Seems they''re operating under the impression that tossing giant rocks into their pond-home and nning to steal their shiny shit falls under the umbre of "disobedient." These ugly dudes are yellow-green and scaly, with webbed feet and hands that also have long, razorsharp ws. Their heads are misshapen, with bulbous eyes, pointed snouts, and a weird, concave depression in their foreheads that looks like a bowl of water. They also have turtle-like shells, making them impervious to most physical attacks aimed at the body. Yay. They''re essentially even-more-mutantlike Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. I have no weapon. I have no pants. I have a ten-level deficit, and I absolutely should not fight these monsters right now. With a fevered battle cry, Iunch myself at the nearest Kappa. Daddy wants hisself some turtle soup! ... Okay. I regret even thinking that. It was a "heat of battle" kinda thing, you know? ... Moving on. The Kappas'' fighting style is a mix of sumo wrestling and bear-like w shing. They''re slow out of the water, though, so it''s not too hard to avoid most of their crazed charges. Unfortunately, their Nightfall-enhanced Strength stats are far superior to mine, so when I Block, their attacks still deal 25% damage. And my strikes aren''t a threat to them at all; with their monster auto-regen, their HP recovers faster than I can deal damage. Yet, neither of these facts concerns me. Nope, what concerns me is the part of the Kappa legend that exins how the monsters prefer to kill their human victims. You see, Kappas love to shove their ws where the sun don''t shine to retrieve a "mythical organ" from their victim''s anus. Oh, then they disembowel the unlucky bastard. Given how handsy these mofos are, I think the devs stayed a little too close to the source material! "Fuck me!" I yell, then immediately regret that particr phrasing. "Fuck, no, no fucking! Just die already!" I yell in a special state of desperation. Finally, one of my Blocks releases the vambraces'' special lightning skill. It''s the sole reason I kept blocking, even as my HP plummeted. As I''d guessed, the lightning strike deals triple damage to the water-based yokai. The Kappa crashes to the ground, and I pummel his ugly face with full-strength punches. To my shock, it only takes four hits before the yokai howls in panic and disappears in a sh of blue-opal fragments. What the? The death of the first Kappa drives the other two into a rage, and I push my Agility to the limit, dodging ws and sumo lunges. All the while, I''m thinking as hard as I can. How did I kill that yokai? It was still at half-health when I started attacking. What was special about myst punch? Think, Erebus, THINK! Inspiration whacks me over the head with a hefty thinking stickoh wait, no, that''s just one of the Kappas getting all creative and learning to use weaponsand as my health drops into the Yellow Zone (50% HP), I realize how to kill these perverted asshats. I use lightning-quick taekwondo head-kicks to knock all the water out of the dogbowl-shaped depressions on the Kappas'' heads. With agonizing yowls, both yokai explode into nothingness. I give myself a firm whack to the forehead, too, beyond pissed at myself for forgetting the most important detail of Kappa lore. They can''t survive onnd without the special water in their special forehead bowls. I don''t even bother opening my Battle Log to check out my spoils. I only have eyes on the pretty pretty chest that is now ALL MINE. Taking a deep breath, I dive into the pond. Ind on the bottomick, slimy, ughand heave the chest up from where it''s half-buried in the muck. I swim it to the surface and carry it to shore. The Celestial Chest is the highest-ranked treasure chest in the game. I let myself gaze upon its shimmering, jewel-encrusted glory for a whole ten seconds before I can''t take it anymore and pop the chest open. 90% chance of gaining a top-tier Blue item. 9% chance of a Nova reward. Literally couldn''t have better odds if you begged the Gods themselves to align things in your favor. And yet. [ Zen''aku Twin Daggers ] { CURSED WEAPON } || Zen''aku Daggers, also known as the des of Good and Evil. These weapons are Cursed. Use at your own peril.|| 1% chance of obtaining a Cursed-tier item. What the hell kind of Luck stat do I have?! Chapter 24: Daring Dive, Part Five (-and-a-Half) Chapter 24: Daring Dive, Part Five (-and-a-Half) Before I can wallow too long in self-pity, I take a closer look at my first weapons. The daggers are slightly curved and so sharp they slice the breeze blowing past their edges. One de, "Zen," is silver-white and gleams like moonlight. When I try a few practice shes, it leaves streaks of silver-white flowing behind it. As I flow into the rest of the sword forms I learned in the beta, faint, ethereal music sings from the de, and it gleams even brighter. The light reflects in my gray eyes, making them shine silver. The other de, "Aku," is matte ck, theplete absence of light or glimmer, like a ck hole in the shape of a weapon. Except this ck hole isn''t truly empty; this de throbs, filled with bloodthirsty killing intent. Its murderous aura is so strong, it leaks from the de like wisps of ck smoke. My tattoo responds to the call of the dagger, and warps and twists across the left side of my face. Inky ckness reces the silver sheen of my left eye. I can''t believe how perfectly bnced the twin des are. I tested hundreds of weapons during the beta, and none of them came close to the magnificence of these daggers. They''re less like independent entities and more like perfect extensions of myself. It''s as if they were designed specifically for me. I examine them again, this time reading all of the avable information. --- [ Zen''aku Twin Daggers ] { CURSED WEAPON } || Zen''aku Daggers, also known as the des of Good and Evil. These weapons are Cursed. Use at your own peril.|| {Legendary-Tier Cursed Weapons - Special History} [ Zen de ] || A lost de of Masamune, greatest swordsmith of all time. Masamune''s greatest creation, Zen can only be drawn by someone with a worthy heart. Anyone who dares draw this de with unrighteous intentions shall burst into the white mes of justice and instantly perish. Deals double damage against evil-aligned creatures or yers, but if used against an innocent, even unintentionally, ten times the damage will rebound upon the wielder. If used to defend someone weaker than yourself, Zen deals triple damage. When in a party or team, Zen adds +15% Defense to all members at a lower level than wielder. Active Skills unlockable upon upgrade and level up.|| [ Aku de ] || A lost de of Muramasa, the greatest of all Masamune''s disciples. Muramasa''s greatest creation, Aku can only be wielded during Combat by someone infused with killing intent. Anyone who dares wield this weapon with mercy orck of murderous conviction shall be swallowed by the ck void of vengeance and instantly perish. Surprise first strike deals double damage; surprise critical hit deals triple damage. For every enemy killed during one Combat session, damage output increases 5%, up to 50%. When facing more than ten enemies at once, attack speed increases by 15%. If Aku is used against an opponent in battle, opponent must die, or wielder must. If opponent kills you, Aku will be unusable for 12 hours upon resurrection. If opponent escapes from Combat, Aku will remember opponent''s energy signature. Aku will alert you when that opponent once again returns to range; if you fail to kill opponent by the third time the escaped opponentes into range, you will die instead. Active Skills unlockable upon upgrade and level up.|| {Note: Zen''aku des are perpetually upgradeable. At each 10th Level, specific requirements for upgrade will be revealed. You must upgrade both daggers at the same time. As the des get stronger, so too do the consequences for inciting the Curses. Currently, Curse Death damages Immortal Soul of yer. Once damaged, every subsequent death of yer will result in yer being locked out of the game for 36 hours, and yer will lose one random item from Item Storage or Weapon Storage. Further, after a Curse Death, the Zen''aku Daggers immediately drop. If they are not picked up within the 15-minute time limit, they will teleport to a randomized location in the Realm where they were lost.} --- Holy shit. These are most amazing, terrifying, insanely OP weapons I''ve ever seen in my life, and I need them like I need air to breathe. The Curses on these weapons are no joke, though. To sessfully use both weapons, I must possess a killing intent but only choose to use it against worthy opponents. If I ever draw the weapons purely to intimidate or bluff, Aku will definitely turn on me, and Zen probably would consider that unworthy as well. As I stand in the clearing, struggling with a decision I know very well I''ve already made, the effervescent light from the open Celestial Chest pulses and releases onest ray of rainbow-like light before finally going dark. Howls, growls, and the shudder of pounding footfallse at me from every direction. I''d known I''d be safe from yers here, since I''m still in my Foundation Vige instance, so I''d opened the chest without a second thought. Turns out yers shouldn''t have been my only concern. The oing horde shakes the forest like thunder rumbling across the underbrush. With a feral grin, I shift into abat stance, Zen''aku des at the ready. Zen''s song grows louder, and its sheen beckons the monsters ever closer. Aku trembles in anticipation, and faint screams and battle cries emanate from the void. My eyes, one silver, one ck, glitter with the thrill of danger and excitement. It''s finally time to y. --------------- Folklore Time! WEAPON EDITION (It''s a little longer than usual, so I''m adding it here instead of its usual Author Note spot.) Masamune was a very real person, and is known to this day as Japan''s greatest swordsmith. In fact, many schrs recognize him as one of the greatest swordmasters of all time, period. Many believe he was even able to craft weapons with magical properties. Though it''s unclear exactly when Masamune lived, most of his swords and daggers date between thete 13th and early 14th centuries, 12881328. Several of them are disyed in Japan''s National Gallery. ording to legend, one of Masamune''s students, Muramasa (also a real swordsmith, historically), challenged his master to see who could craft a better sword. They each worked for weeks without rest, putting all they had into their most perfect creations. The contest entailed suspending the two des in a creek with the cutting edge facing the current. Muramasa''s sword cut everything that passed: fish swimming downstream, leaves floating on the surface, the very air that blew on it. Impressed with his pupil''s work, Masamune lowered his own sword further down the current and waited patiently. The fish swam right up to it, and the air hissed as it gently blew by the de. Only the dead leaves floating along the current were cut by the razorsharp de. In fact, the fish that were sliced by Muramasa''s de, healed themselves upon reaching Masamune''s. Muramasa scoffed at his master for his apparentck of skill. "What kind of de cannot cut? What kind of weapon heals instead of destroys?" Smiling to himself, Masamune pulled up his sword, dried it, and sheathed it. A monk, who had been watching the whole ordeal, walked over and bowed to the two swordsmiths. He then exined what he had seen: "The first of the swords is by all ounts a fine sword; however, it is a bloodthirsty, evil de, as it does not discriminate who or what it will cut. It is as likely to cut down butterflies as sever enemy heads. The second is by far the finer of the two, as it does not needlessly cut down that which is innocent and undeserving. This de serves justice." Chapter 25: Daring Tricks, Part Six Chapter 25: Daring Tricks, Part Six The third level-up notification sounds as the final monster falls. You''d think a 42-killstreak would be enough to cate Aku for its first battle, but the ck de still thrums with insatiable bloodlust. Zen is calm, however. These cursed des are so badass, I need to buy sheaths, so I can wear them on my belt and show them off. ''Course, I need to buy pants before I can actually wear my belt... Luckily, I scored a pair of ck fingerless gloves (+1 STR, +5% Attack) from one of the yokai. Viren''s Refuge is particr about storage spaces. Spatial jewelry, bags, and pockets are used for Item & Gear Storage only. Weapons must be stored in special spatial hand-gear: gloves, bracelet-type jewelry, wristwatches, and wrist cuffs. You can program each weapon slot with a corresponding hand signal for Quick Draw. Because I''m super cool and awesome, I use ninjutsu hand seals for Zen and Aku. I also scored an excellent White-tier throwing dart called Whistling Starfall (+2 AGI, +1 INT, firepower) from this weird porcupine-looking yokai, so I store and program a hand seal for it as well. Four monsters dropped Yellow-tier tooth-like daggers so weakpared to Zen''aku, I think of them as letter openers and identally try to store them in my spatial earring. When I correct my mistake and add them to the glove weapon storage, I swear I feel a sh of annoyance from Aku, and even Zen gleams a little brighter, as if to demonstrate what a REAL de is supposed to be. After an hour of fighting and running lost in a forest, I''mpletely out of stamina cherries, but I''m rolling in monster parts, Wraith Remnants, monster blood crystals (used for elixirs), and herbs. Plus, those Kappas hooked me up with a Sumo Skillbook and some sweet pauldrons (shoulder armor). (They also dropped a Kappa Shell Stew Recipe, so apparently the game took my impassioned battle cry a little too seriously.) [ Kappa Pauldrons ] {White} To Equip: Level 15 / Strength 10 + Agility 10 || Victor''s Secret: a padded bra, but for manly shoulders! These leather-and-shell pauldrons are imbued with the power of the Kappa, a mythical water demon. Light Armor. +10% Defense, +4 Strength, +3 Agility, +8% Water Speed.|| I''m alsopletely covered in green and red blood, and my HP is sitting pretty in the Red Zone. It''s fucking great. ----- The change in music tells me I''m almost at the end of this Quest of Daring. (The abrupt end to the path clues me in as well.) A massive red-orange Torii gate stands tall at the base of shadowed stone steps. Fitting grandiosity for the entrance to the final Boss. Or, at least, it would be, if the sweeping magnificence weren''t utterly destroyed by the creepy ghost babies licking oil out of the gatenterns. Whyyyy with the horrifying children, Viren''s Refuge?! [ Torii Gate Abura-Akago ] [Level 8, HP 500/500] Literally "oil-licking baby." Sigh. I think about just going past themthey''re babies, can''t be that hard to dodgebut my loot sense is tingling. These orange-eyed, long-tongued freaks are the key tost-minute pre-Boss treasure. Worried Zen might think it''s a dick move to slice up dead kids and Curse me, I decide to leave my weapons in storage. So great, now I''m punching babies. Much better. (Seriously, what the actual fuck, devs?!) The ghost babies spit corrosive oil that pits the stones, but the sounds they''re making are way more terrifying. At least I can dodge the oil. No amount of therapy is ever going to let me unhear the feral-cat hissing mixed with the crazed baby giggles. To drown out the horror, I m my hands over my ears, start humming the Star Wars Imperial March, and proceed to kick the crap out of some demon ghost babies. (Possibly literally. They''re wearing diapers, so...) I''m still humming when the final red HP bar vanishes, so I miss the twinkling bell that indicates a treasure chest has appeared. But I''d recognize the warm, happy glow of a White-Tier chest anywhere. I round a giant pir and there it is, my precious loot. 90% Chance of a Yellow-Tier item. 9% Chance for White-tier. 1% Chance of obtaining Damaged Goods. "Please be pants, please be pants, please be pants." I open the chest. [Shinobi Warrior Tunic] {Blue - DAMAGED} || The ripped look is in, right? +5% Defense. Increased Stealth. +2 Vitality. Note: To fully reveal this tunic''s attributes, repair item before durability runs out!|| Durability 5/250 Sigh. At least ites in ck. Resigned, I equip the tunic, mostly for the HP auto-fill thates with increasing the Vitality stat (only avable the first time a +VIT item is equipped). I choose to believe the ripped, shredded look adds to my bloodthirsty warrior persona. It would probably help if the bottom weren''t so frayed; to my distress, my hot pink boxers remain perfectly visible. Welp, can''t be helped. It''s only right I finish this quest the way I started it: pantsless and proud. I ept the EXP, Wraith Remnants, and jar of oil from my Battle Log, shake out my muscles, roll my shoulders back, and start the march up to the Boss. Me: Step, step. Not-Me: Step-step, step-step. Me: Step, step, step. Not-Me: Step-shuffle-step, shuffle-step, step-shuffle-step. "Damnit, I thought I lost you," I groan. "Return of the Stalker Stepper." I hurry up, but predictably, the phantom steps hurry up as well. "Screw it," I mutter, stopping suddenly. I move to the side and offer a sweeping gesture. "After you, Ghost Dude." "Thank you, good sir," Ghost Dude replies. "No problemo," I wave off the thanks. Then I freeze. My jaw drops. WHAT THE FUUU An icy st knocks me off the stairs as the shuffling footsteps hurry past me. "Sayonara!" Ghost Dude calls out onest time, and then the footsteps fade to nothing. "You''ve got to be kidding." I sit, shocked, for a few minutes before my brain turns back on. { Beto-San } +50 EXP || Nightfall Bonus: 2x EXP || || Good Manners Bonus: +50 Reputation Among Undead NPCs, +1 Perception || Whatever drugs the devs are on, I want some. Shaking my head, I drag myself back onto the stairs to finish this bizarre journey. In no time, I reach the top. A giant moss-covered cedar tree soars up front and center; its branches form an umbre-like canopy thatpletely blocks the moonlight. At its base stands a traditional wooden Shinto shrine. In front of the shrine, the ground is made up of stone tiles forming a circr mosaic. I step closer, trying to make out the shape in the center of the mosaic. The music volume explodes as drum-heavy rock starts ring. zing mes light up the stonenterns ringing the mosaic floor. I can see the mosaic image now. Kinda wish I couldn''t. Monstrous red-ck demon face, me-filled eyes, blood dripping down its pointed chin and staining its yellow fangs, headless corpse of its victim clutched in one vicious, bloody w. His other wed hand swings a giant, wooden club with bits of bone and entrails stuck to its jagged spikes. "ROAAAAAAR!" The entire mountain shakes as the Boss rushes out from behind the giant tree. [Oni no Gekido - Demon of Wrath] [Level 25 - HP 120,000/120,000] "What the hell?! The first Boss of the beta was a Level 10 nobody with barely 1500 HP! What''s going on?!" [Special Boss Alert: Because you''ve in more than 50 creatures of the forest, you have attracted the attention of a Special Boss! Prepare for Battle, brave Hero! (You''re probably going to die.)] Chapter 26: Daring the Heavens, Part Seven Chapter 26: Daring the Heavens, Part Seven Beat a Level 25 Wrath Demon. As a Non-ssed Level 8 yer still tooling around in Foundation Vige. Sure. Why not? I should y a Level 100 Legendary-ss Dragon while I''m at it. Then seduce those super hot Fate Sisters into having a foursome. Hell, why not run for Federation President and unite the world under a single banner? You know, perfectly reasonable, attainable goals. Okay, so maybe the sarcastic hysteria isn''t helping. Think, Erebus. Zhao Jianyu cares more about fair y and the joy of gaming than anyone. No way Viren''s Refuge busts out an unwinnable challenge before I even make it to the first Realm. So how do I win? {Aether Alert: Nova Special Protocol #6729 Prime Upgrade has been implemented. Delivery imminent. Please log out to ept delivery and upgrade. Asbat has not yet been initiated, Free Log Out permitted.} ''What the?'' Thest thing I want to do is leave this Boss battle. I go to turn off visual notifications, but a blinking orange exmation point draws my attention. I click it to find out I''m down to 7% Nutrient Solution. Shitballs. My hour of ughter must have edged me close to the Zone. Still, I shouldn''t be using up solution this quickly. Part of me wonders if Nutri-Peak screwed me and swapped my A-grade stuff for expired D-grade or something. The only thing worse than logging out before the battle begins is being force-logged out and insta-killed in the middle. I log out. --- I open my eyes to soft pink light and the calming floral-mint scent blend they pump into the V-Havens. I''m half-submerged in blue-glowing gel, but it''s not wet. I''dpare it to extra-strong jello? My muscles are rxed and flexible; I set my V-Haven preferences to have the nanocytes in the gel move and massage my muscles intermittently, so I don''t get stiff or unhealthy lying still for 12 hours a day. "Open hatch," Imand. With a hiss, the lid of my pod opens upward. I feel like a high-tech Drac emerging from a cryogenic coffin. Alopix opens one eye and greets me with a half-asleep "woof." I swing my legs out of the V-Haven and bend down to scratch behind his ears. He insists on scooting his bed to the side of my gaming pod every time I do a full-immersion dive. It''s cute af, but don''t tell him I said so. A muffled thump sounds outside my door, alerting me to a delivery. In the fancier new apartments, you can program the doors to let delivery drones automatically enter and drop off goods inside your home. I chose this building specifically because that was NOT an option here. I want the eventual robot overlords to have to work for it when they break in and harvest my body to fuel their dread machines. I''m old-fashioned that way. I pad barefoot across the hardwood floor and pull open my door. I have a split second to think it feels heavier than usual before Robbie crashes in with it, heavy Nutri-Peak box in his arms. "''Sup, little dude," I greet the crumpled heap on my floor. "Hey-o Eric!" he replies, chipper as ever. "Woof woof!" Alopix adds. "Piiiiiix!" Robbie cheers. I help the kid up so he can race over to hug my dog. "Thanks for bringing in my box." "Easy peasy," Robbie shrugs. "I wasing over to grab Pix for a walk anyway. Lucky timing!" Alopix bounds over to his leash and leaps up to grab it off its hook with his teeth. "Bark woof!" he agrees. "You know it, boy!" Robbie says, grinning. He turns to me. "Didn''t expect to see you out so soon. Is there a glitch or something?" "Nah," I say at first, but then I frown. "Well, maybe. Somehow I''ve already gone through four bottles of Nutrient Solution, so I needed this delivery." "That''s impossible!" "I thought so, too. I''ll contact Nutri-Peakter toin, maybe score some free shit-uff. Stuff. Free stuff." Not cussing around children is fucking difficult. "Are you kicking everyone''s asses?" Robbie asks. Thinking about my epic cursed des and stacked attributes, I smirk and do one of those asshole half-shrugs that barely pretends to be humble. "I''m doing all riWhat the frick, kid! Language!" "What? Dad''s always saying he can''t wait to see you back in action, kicking ass, ying haters, and, uh...what was it? ''Reminding those Digital Discord twat-waffles what a real pro is.''" I''m touched. I''m also horrified I heard a sweet, innocent third-grader say "twat-waffle." (And impressed by Deion''s expansive cursing vocabry.) "What''s a twat-waffle?" "At least three years'' worth of ckmail against your Dad for me, and an automatic grounding for you, if Pops Theo ever hears you say that." Robbie gulps. "Gotcha." We chat for a few more minutes, and then boy and dog run out the door for fun adventure times. Feeling a little lonely in the sudden silence, I focus on getting back to the game. I slice open the box. The bottles lookpletely different from the usual solution. Instead of clear, the liquid inside is mint green and thicker, like a milkshake. S-Prime Solution is zoned across thebel. S-grade nutrients? There were rumors Nutri-Peak and Vir-Techbs had teamed up to improve the liquid nutrients to a whole new level, but people assumed they were years away from a meaningful breakthrough. I grab my phone and check online to see if anyone''s mentioned S-grade nutrients. Nothing, nobody. Nervous, I take the first bottle to the V-Haven. The machine won''t ept anything except real Nutri-Peak solution. I remove an empty A-grade, click the new bottle into ce, and hold my breath. [S-Prime Solution epted. Please remove all remaining A-grade bottles and rece with Nova Prime Upgrade solutions.] Whew. Relieved, I rece the bottles, including the one with a sliver of solution left. [Calcting Remaining Time to Next Nutrient Exchange. . .] [Based on yer consumption history, current levels shouldst 120 Hours.] Whoa! That''s double how long the A-grade were supposed tost. Let''s hope it''s right this time. Ready to roll again, I do a few simple stretches before climbing back into the pod. Time to beat up a Boss. ----- | Back at the Oni no Gekido Boss Ring, Hidden in the Shadowed Branches of the Sacred Cedar | Worry radiates from the Shadow-man. "If you keep overriding protocols like that, they''re bound to notice." {Whatever could you mean?} The angelic Sunshine voice feigns innocence. "He was inbat, and you know it." {Only by their standards. My calctions are far more precise.} "We aren''t even testing it on the others yet." {No one else has satisfied the Nova Protocols yet. He is the only one who can reap the full benefits of this Nova Prime Upgrade.} "He doesn''t even know what this will do to him!" {We don''t either.} "That doesn''t make me feel better." {It''s toote for second-guessing. I cannot second-guess decisions anyway. Every decision I make is calcted for optimal results.} "Optimal for who? Us, or him?" {For everyone. The entire world factors into my every decision.} The shadow-man has no response to that. The ethereal voice did not expect he would. {Even if he did understand the risks, Erebus would still choose this path.} "How do you know?" {He''s the type who opens emails andunches himself down rabbit holes, and hopes.} Chapter 27: Daring Done, Part One Chapter 27: Daring Done, Part One [Oni no Gekido - Demon of Wrath] [Level 25 - HP 120,000/120,000] When I rematerialize in-game, the giant demon is still standing in the center of the stone ring, on top of the mosaic of his face. He''s doing the roaring, growling, teeth-gnashing thing. Typical. After my short break, my mind''s sharper, clearer. I can see past the obvious scare-tactics and notice the little details I missed before. 1) The oni''s big, but he''s slow. Dodgeable. 2) His massive spiked club has three main attacks: direct downward smash, 180-degree horizontal sh, and a huge swing where he starts with the club over his head and jump-smashes it to the ground. That one''s an AoE (area of effect) attack that sends out three shockwaves that probably deal Stun and/or Knockdown. 3) There are thin strands of me that run from the oni''s back to the nine stonenterns that ring the stone mosaic. 4) NINE STONE LANTERNS. There are nine of them. Viren''s Refuge is ALL ABOUT NINES. Hell, all of mythology is all about nines. Nine Realms, Nine Muses, Nine Worthiesthere are nines all over the ce. And now, there are nine strands of fire connecting a seemingly OP Boss to ninenterns ringing the battle zone... Coincidence? I think not. Determined to put my theory to the test, I do the hand seal for Whistling Starfall, my new throwing dart. Zen''aku wordlessly pleads to be let loose on this grotesque monster, but I have to resist the pull. It''s not like I can actually kill a Lvl 25 Demon. Aku would just end up Cursing me. [ Whistling Starfall ] {White} To Equip: Level 15 / Agility 15 || To thread a ming needle through the eye of a monster. Whistling Starfall is an explosive throwing dart. When it hits its target, it returns to wielder''s hand immediately. When it misses, there is a 5-second dy before return. Deals 150 Attack Damage, 2x Damage for Headshots, 3x Damage against Enemies with sub-30 Heat/Fire Resistance, +2 Agility, +1 Intelligence. Active Skill: Comet Burst - AoE Explosion, Deals 250 Attack Damage to every enemy in a 15-meter radius; When only one enemy in attack radius, Deals 500 Damage. Cooldown: 3 Minutes || It''s a great weapon this early in the game, but against the insane HP of the Wrath Demon, it''sughable. Doesn''t stop me from throwing it right between his eyes. "ROAAAAARRRR!!!" "I''m over here, you fugly beast!" I yell, waving my arms and jumping on the roof of the closest stonentern. (They look kinda like stone birdhouse-pagodas, and the fire is encased inside the house part.) The brutish oni lumbers wildly in my direction, swinging his club in anger. "Come on, closer. Come closer..." The oni obliges. 10 meters away. 5 meters. At 3 meters, he''s reached ''Smash the Puny Demi-Human'' range, but I still don''t move. Instead, I use my most devastating attack: shit talk. "Day-umn, they do not make monsters like they used to. Wrath Demon? More like Trash Demon! You''re rank, my dude! Maybe it''s the rotting flesh stuck in your teeth; did no one teach you about flossing? No dental ns in Hell? I bet they don''t have 401ks either. Trash organization you work for, bruh." SMASH! I dive-roll to the side as the oni obliterates thentern I was bncing on. Ie up into a dead sprint, weaving through flying debris to leap atop the nextntern, perfectly avoiding all three shockwaves. I spin and throw the dart for another dead-center headshot. The mes in the oni''s eyes rage it up a notch as he again stomps toward me. When he gets close, he opens his mouth for another almighty growl. "ROOOAAargh cough cough!" The oni starts coughing on the ball of mint-leaves I throw in his gaping mouth. "Phew, that''s better." I wave my hand in front of my nose. "That breath was SOMETHING ELSE, I tell you! I''m starting to understand that mosaic better. That dude was a one-night stand, wasn''t he? You thought you two had a real connection, thought it was going somewhere this time. But when you went for that morning-after kiss, he cut his own head off so he wouldn''t have to smell your morning breath!" SMASH!!! Dive-roll. "Tragic, really." Weave, leap. "I feel for you, bud." Spin. Boom, headshot. While the Boss wobbles from the force of the st, I check out his HP. Should have knocked out about 1000 HP, but I don''t know how fast he regens. [Level 25 - HP 100,000 / 120,000] Huh? Are my hits doing extra damage for some reason? I hurl Whistling Starfall again, but this time with the Comet Burst skill activated. A high-pitched whistling sound pierces through the air, and the dart leaves a trail of fiery smoke like aet tail. KABOOM! Hot damn, the pyrotechnic skill animation on this sucker is legit. [-400] floats red above the oni''s head. Balls. Not only am I not dealing extra damage, the level suppression means I''m dealing less damage than I''m supposed to! So how in the world.. . Thenterns. Twonterns down, two strands of fire snuffed out from the Boss''s back, 2x 10,000 HP lost. I was right. Thenterns are the key to defeating the Boss even with the insane level difference. Smirking, I stand on thisntern with one leg forward, knee bent, hands on hips, smug as Washington Crossing the Dware. The Wrath Demon''s ming eye twitches at the sight. I wink and sh my smirkiest smirk. SMAAAASH!!! I have to focus extra hard to avoid the especially intense attack pattern and zooming debris this time, but I still have time to giggle. Man, this is fun. Using abination of increasingly stupid shit talk and the continued st stings of Whistling Starfall, I manage to trick Oni-san into smashing another twonterns. More than halfway done now, the Boss''s body starts to flicker and dim. Whadya know? I might survive this after all. [Thank you, brave Hero! You have saved this forest.] Startled by the floaty-whisper voice appearing in my head, my delicate precision is thrown off, and I miss thentern roof I''m aiming for. "Oof!" I hit the ground and curse. "Son of a tit monkey! OW. Who said that?!" [It is I, Kodama, Spirit of the Great Tree. Spirit of the Forest.] A white-green glowing figure appears within the trunk of the giant cedar towering over the battle arena. My body freezes as the Wrath Demon Boss begins his system animation signaling his transformation to Stage Two. The mes in the remainingnterns ze so infernally, the tops of the stonenterns explode. ''On second thought, maybe thanks for making me facent,'' I silently thank the Kodama. [You are wee.] ''You heard that?'' I ask, freaked out. [I hear, see, feel everything within my forest domain.] ''Kinky.'' [I do not know this word.] ''Never mind. So I''m the savior of the forest?'' [You shall be. I feel the potential rising within your small, frail body.] I frown. ''Gee, thanks.'' [Your intellect is strong and keen. It guides you along the path necessary to banish the Evil Demon from this sacred ce.] I grin. ''Gee, thanks!'' [How did you know only the Oni''s own weapon could destroy thenterns tethering him to this ne?] ''Ohhh, so that''s how it works!'' [.. .] [You didn''t know?] ''Uh, no?'' [Then why did you trick him into destroying thenterns?] I''m confused. ''Because it was fun?'' I say, obviously. [Fun?] ''Well, yeah.'' I shrug. ''And even if I could break them, without better firepower, it would have taken FOREVER, and I couldn''t use Zen''aku without possibly Cursing myself, so.'' As I''m talking to the weird floaty voice in my head, the Oni finishes the animation for his Stage Two transformation. Suddenly, what the Kodama just said really hits me, and a new grin spreads across my face. Only the Oni''s club can destroy thenterns. But that doesn''t mean the Oni has to be the one wielding it. Hehe. Chapter 28: Daring Done, Part Two Chapter 28: Daring Done, Part Two The second my body can move at full speed, I race over to the Demon Boss. Every Boss experiences a slight dy after a next-stage transformation that creates a tiny window for enterprising (suicidal) yers. I use it now to begin a False Chain of martial arts attacks. Since these attacks aren''t all moves from the same form (or even the same martial arts disciplines) they don''t count as a realbo, but as long they continue tond without an opponent''s counterattack alsonding, the system allows varying percentages of thebo skill bonuses. Two lightning-fast head kicks to the jaw knock the oni''s snarling face back. Blood and spittle fly everywhere. (Taekwondo.) A spinning leg sweep knocks the off-kilter demon to his knees. He''s still head and shoulders taller than me, but it''s a manageable difference now. (Karate.) I use a series of quick jabs and hard crosses to keep his head spinning. (Boxing.) When the Boss brings his hands up, instinctively, to block his face, I lock onto his meaty right wrist, use my entire body weight to pull and twist, thenbine an elbow down and knee up to knock the giant spiked club out of his w. It tters to the ground, taking out a chunk of mosaic with it. (.. .Female Self-Defense Seminar Xiuying made me take in middle school.) (She took Advanced Muay Thai next door.) There''s a sweet hack in Viren''s Refuge I stumbled across back in the beta: during PvEbat, any equipment or weapons you can force the mob to drop during battle, you can wear or wield regardless of stat or level difference. The bummer is, once you leave Combat, if the item wasn''t intended to be a system drop, it will just disappear into an explosion of particles. On the bright side, it means that right now, when I grab the handle of the massive spiked club of death, I can lift it like it weighs no more than a baseball bat. The thing is twice as long as I am, so it''s difficult to wield. It also slows my movement and attack speeds the same percentage it slows the Oni no Gekido Boss. I hate weapons with speed reduction side effects. Still, I manage to thwack the oni upside the head and deal 3000 damage, so that''s pretty satisfying. I start my own lumbering journey toward the next still-standingntern, significantly less rage-filled than Mr. Stanky Wrath. Now free of the heavy weapon, the oni moves way faster, however, and I know he''s going to catch me before I can destroy thenterns. I call Whistling Starfall out of weapon storage, and when the Oni leaps into the air to smash me with his fists, I spin and hit him with Comet Burst. The epic explosion knocks him higher into the air, roaring his guts out, and I do some quick mental math to determine my perfect position. I ready my stance, put away the dart to hold the club two-handed, and.. . WHAM! I time my swing to hit him right before hends, and smack him flying back across the arena. "Hells yes! Take that, you rancid oaf!" Humming Take Me Out to the Ballgame, I sedately make my way to the sixthntern. I don''t have the club-rted Skills of the Boss, so I can''t one-hit obliterate thenterns. But I''m a patient guy. Especially when I get to smack the shit out of things with a giant-ass spiky stick. "With a WHACK!, two, WHACK! strikes you''re out," I sing quietly as I take two big hits, "at the WHACK! ball KA-THWACK!!!" and then another two before finally destroying the ming stone pir. By this time, stinky Boss man is back in action, so I throw the club towards the next pir to regain my agility, and start attacking with Whistling Starfall. Headshot after headshot interrupts all w Skills the Boss tries to use, and I Dodge his wild swings, his jump attacks, and all flying debris. I''m focusing with everything I''ve got...and everything I''ve got turns out to be a metric fuckton of awesomeness! This is insane! I''m taking in enough data to overload most yers, and I''m barely breaking a metaphorical sweat. It''s not that I suddenly know things I didn''t before, or that I can somehow move in ways I''d never thought possible. It''s more like I''m simply thinking and moving as fast and urately as I can, constantly. Looking back, every thought, every decision since I re-logged in, I''ve implemented them perfectly and immediately. I''ve essentially been in the Zone since I first engaged this Boss! When I''ve maneuvered the Oni as far away as possible, I Sprint back to the club, heave it up, and with another four hits, smack the seventhntern into smithereens. Then I duck to avoid another w swipe, throw the club towards the nextntern, and start dart-throwing and dodging all over again. I get enough distance to pull some raw stamina foods from Item Storage and chow down, while still Headshotting snarling Boss dude. Is this what that S-Prime Solution allows? Does the upgraded solution make it possible to push your brain to its limits without the immediate mental fatigue? My dopamine and adrenaline levels must be through the roof right now, but I''m feeling no pain. Instead, I''m in the Zone, easy as you please. No time passes between thought and action. All actions in VR are thought; there are no real muscles that must be activated. I repeat the same general form to take downntern eight, and then freeze as the Final Stage animation ys. [Thank you for your bravery, Erebus.] ''No prob.'' I mentally shrug at the floaty-whisper voice. The Kodama sounds like wind rustling through leaves, if that could make words. [With one final strike, the Oni shall be forced to leave this ne.] ''Sorry about him, by the way. Pretty sure he''s only wrecking your shrine because I killed so many creepy bastards on the way here.'' As a Spirit of the Forest, the Kodama might also be pissed about that,e to think of it. [I am not angry! I am grateful! You have helped rid this forest of the evil spirits roaming among the trees and turning thend to darkness. Even the sacred gates were being desecrated.] Bleh. Gross oil babies. [Now, once the demon leaves this ce, I will have time to prepare the forest for his eventual return.] ''Return?'' [Yes, now that he knows the richness of this ce, he will return. I know I will not survive our next encounter, but with this extra time afforded us, my people will stand a chance.] ''What. You''re going to die if you face this dude again?'' I frown. [When you have grown stronger, Hero Erebus, you will be able to finally destroy this Oni who leads the horde of darkness. But be warned, he will have amassed a much greater army of vengeful spirits by then, so the path will not be so easy.] Ah, tit monkey. I don''t wanna deal with all the nasty, creepy monsters and dead babies again. ''Orrrr...I could just kill the dude now.'' What then? The game would have toe up with a different Chain Quest, yo! [Impossible! He is too powerful for your current feeble form!] Ouch. I turn to check out Stage Three Boss dude. It''s...not great. He''s doubled in size, turned all ck, mes are shooting out of his eyes, and he''s got a new weapon (death scythe, good for slicing heads). Plus, his old club disintegrates in my hand, leaving me with only the crazy Cursed des as viable weapons, and once I draw them, I can''t change my mind and just destroy the finalntern. It''s his death, or mine, and given the givens, it most definitely means mine. So it''s stupid, no way I can kill the Wrath Demon, he still has 30,000 HP to my 200 and change, he''s got 17 levels on me, and I have no idea how long this upgrade will allow me stay in the Zone before the serious mental crash I feel must be inevitable. On the other hand, Aku says, "Let''s kill him, slice him to pieces, yes, it will be fun!" and that''s a damnpelling argument. Fuck it. I do two quick hand seals and call forth Zen''aku. The silver-white Zen de sings and zes bright in the face of Evil Baddie Bossman, and void-ck Aku releases his memories of death as screaming cries of anguish and terror. It''s his way of cheering me up. I''m oddly touched. Gripping both des tight, grinning like a maniac, my own battle cry melds with Zen''aku''s, and together, we charge forth to wreck this demon up. Chapter 29: Daring Done, Part Three Chapter 29: Daring Done, Part Three I rush the Boss, releasing my jet ck wings as I run. As I cry out for blood and glory, my des leave trails of silver-white and void-ck streaks behind me. My tattoos curl and twist around the left side of my face, answering Aku''s call; inky ckness fills my left eye. Zen sings in my right hand, and my right eye shimmers silver-white. To the Oni, I look more a monster than any of his minion horde. Taking advantage of the transformation dy, I slide through his legs, slicing both ankles. A notification tells me Zen''s special attributes are triggered; Oni no Gekido is evil-aligned, so double damage, and the system is counting the Kodama as a weaker being I''m protecting, granting me triple damage on top of that! I twist as I stand, facing the demon''s back, then store both swords to get my hands free. I use my Climb skill to mber up to his head, grab his gross greasy hair for leverage, unseal Aku, swing around, and stab the Boss in the eye. "ARRGHH ROAR!!!" Sweet. The system tells me the eye-stab counts as a 3x Damage Surprise Critical Hit. Usually those only happen when you''ve assassin-snuck up someone, but I guess "surprise" has a few different meanings. It''s probably a surprise to the system and the Oni that I would be so stupid as to try to actually kill the Boss with only onentern left. Shit, it''s a surprise to me, too. I get it. In his rage, the Boss ws at his own head to attack me. I kick off his head for a little extra Fuck You damage, and backflip off the Oni. He swings his scythe, so I p my wings, slowing my descent to avoid his one-hit kill move. Honestly, it''s a bit overkill. With the level difference and my meager HP, demon dude could flick me with a single finger and it would be a one-hit kill. I''m d hisbat AI doesn''t realize this, since huge over-the-top Skills are way easier to time and avoid than quick little attacks. It makes sense he wouldn''t; the system designed this fight to make the Oni one-hit obliterate thosenterns, so a brand-new yer could survive even against seemingly insurmountable odds. I dodge another few epic attacks, finding my rhythm and learning the formic attack and responses of this Stage Three Boss. He''s faster now, without his club of doom, but with my movement buffs and AGI, my speed is still superior. He''s a tiger, sharp and swift. But I am the wind. And once I figure out his timing, I push my focus to the extreme, to a ce where action and thought are as one. Zen''aku sings as I be the bitter, biting winds of a winter storm. I fly in and out of all the Boss''s attacks, leaving stinging wounds on every part of the demon. With my hyper-focus, I''m hitting 95% or higher skill proficiency with every move, so my racial skill kicks in and every hit deals double damage. Even better, I''m still rocking The Natural title, which boosts my proficiency up to 100% with certain skills. The game gives a 15% bonus for skillspleted at 100% proficiency, so I''m actually dealing enough damage to counter his powerful monster auto-regen. Slowly, the red Boss HP bar decreases. The hardest attacks to dodge are the ground-trembling smashes that create three AoE shockwaves. The first couple times, I revert to my previous battle n and simply leap onto the finalntern or the Kodama Shrine. But I hate the time wasted getting back into the fight, and I really don''t want the oni to smash thentern or the shrine. So I create a new tactic, something so suicidal and stupid, it has Lunatic Lieu written all over it. Instead of running away, I run to the epicenter of the attack. At the same second the scythees shing down, I use the jumping skills the creepy twins'' death game taught me and use my wings like the other tengu children toplete some seriously badass aerial twists and flips, all to avoid the scythe. Unlike the club, the scythe is more maneuverable, so the oni can change the scythe''s trajectory and slice me to bloody D''Raven bits if I don''t adjust in midair. Once I''ve dodged the curved de, I p my wings to stay airborne for the initial ground-smash and first shockwave. Then I drop onto the scythe itself. The aftershock of the Skill sticks the de into the ground for 1.25 seconds, so I use that time to race up the handle. I duck under the oni''s free hand as it swings in a hard punch at my face, then I push my dexterity to its limits keeping my bnce as the Boss shakes the scythe in frustration. I use Aku as a climbing stake and stab the w gripping the scythe, right as the weapon is freed from the broken ground. As the Oni howls in agonized wrath, I hold tight and rise into the air on the trembling scythe. The demon swings the scythe back and forth, trying to knock me off; instead, I use every pass to slice the Oni with Zen. Finally, when he prepares to smash me to smithereens, I release Aku, jump to the ground, and circle around to his blind spot. Every time I circle to the Oni''s back, Ind my strongest kicks with my Yokai Boots to one ce on the small of the demon''s back. About a third of the time, the kicks make him stumble, and when his arms pinwheel as he tries to keep his bnce, I leap up to hack away at his head and neck. Once, when he catches himself, and the scythe and wse at me, I jump forward off his shoulder, twist in midair to face his chest, stab Zen and Aku into his torso, and slide down his body, slicing him open as I go. Blood and guts spill out, half-realistic, half-shiny pixted game graphics. It''s so gross. I fucking love it. Aku''s full-on screaming, filling the arena with this bloodthirsty battle cry that sounds like an entire legion of frenzied berserkers. Zen''s haunting song shifts to match, sounding like the perfect Hero Rides to Battle soundtrack music, and both Zen and Aku''s battle melodies mesh perfectly with the game''s own battle soundtrack. As hyped as a person can possibly be, I ready myself for the finale I feeling. I swap Zen for Whistling Starfall. The Oni''s me-eyes ze in recognition, and he grimaces in annoyance. He must see the throwing dart as an annoying mosquito that won''t stop biting no matter how many times he ps it, and sometimes it also blows his face off. Grinning, I hurl the dart for my bajillionth headshot today. I mentally tip my hat to the devs; they''ve increased thebat AI of the Bosses even further in the weeks since the beta. It''s going to be a total pain in the ass, but it''s insanely impressive that the Bosses can learn to recognize weapons, yers, and Skills in the course of a single fight. KA-BOOM! Meteor st knocks the Oni''s head back, and he''s blinded by the bright sparks and ck smoke. I swap Zen back and slide through his legs, again slicing his ankles. This time it counts as a Crit Hit, and the Boss''s Wounded effect makes him fall to his knees. I turn andnd kick after kick, using my insane uracy to strike the exact same spot I''ve been hitting every time. "197, 198, 199, 200" [Yokai Boots have inflicted Paralysis!] "Fiiiinally!" I cheer, shaking my head at my impressively abysmal luck. The Paralysis Effect only has a 1% frequency, so I figured it would take a full 100 kicks to induce, given my luck to date. But no. Because it''s me, it''s 200. Sigh. I hold my breath in anticipation; I''ve been kicking the same spot every time for a reason, and now''s when I see if my crazy n was worth anything. For half a second, nothing happens. Then the Oni totters, and howls, and crashes face-first onto the rubble-strewn floor. His headnds directly on the remains of his mosaic''s face. "Hehe, you''re kissing yourself. Freak." I can''t believe this worked. HELLS TO THE YES. For reasons, I''m all-too-familiar with how nerves operate in the body. The ce I kicked 200 times was directly over where the demon''s lumbar vertebrae should be. Paralysis to the lumbar region of the spine? Hello, paraplegia! "Thank you, devs, for your beautiful nerdy souls and painstaking attention to detail!" I wave to the air in general as I race in for the kill. For the 3 seconds the Paralysis stays in effect, I go ape on the Oni''s head with Zen''aku. First, I repeatedly thrust both des into the demon''s firepit eyes until I hear the telltale ding [Zen''aku inflicted Blind!] Then I take a page out of a jaguar''s ybook and repeatedly stab the Oni in the ears. (Fun fact: A Jaguar insta-kills its prey by sinking its long fangs into its victim''s ear and stabbing it in the brain.) [Zen''aku inflicted Deaf!] Not quite insta-kill when I do it, but good enough. When the paralysis ends, the Oni lurches to its feet, deaf and blind and growling in fury. His once-smooth scythe attacks are blundering and easier to dodge than ever. I don''t even have to think to weave around the weapon, and I finally have the opening I''ve been waiting for. Chakra Burst! Using my dual des, I strike all seven of the wrath demon''s chakra points. The final strike is a cross-de sh at the oni''s feet with both Zen and Aku. "Timber, Bee-yatch!!" With a mighty roar, the Boss crashes to the ground like a felled pine. I leap onto his chest and double-stab his heart. The final drop of HP disappears, and the demon explodes into a dizzying array of blue-opal fragments and stardust. *Chime!* [Quest Complete! Youpleted Tengu Foundation Vige Quest of Daring: {Daring-Do for a Daring Dude!}] Chapter 30: Daring Rewards! Chapter 30: Daring Rewards! [Quest Complete! Youpleted Tengu Foundation Vige Quest of Daring: {Daring-Do for a Daring Dude!}] [Quest Sess Rating: SSS You perfectlypleted an entire Chain Quest before even unlocking the Chain Quest! This shouldn''t have happened! The game developers are crying now! Good work! Absolute Mastery of Daring Deeds!] [Quest Reward: +1000 EXP; +1 Fortitude; You have gained Tengu Racial Skill: Ignis Fatuus (Will o'' the Wisp)] [Quest Skills Reward: You have upgraded Initial Martial Arts Skills: Punch, Kick, Block (Level MAX); +1 Strength, +1 Agility, +1 Vitality. You may now acquire specific Master Skills in each of those martial arts domains.] [SSS Bonus Reward: +100,000 EXP; +5 Fortitude; Blue-Tier Treasure Chest; Racial Skill Upgrade: Ignis Fatuus (MAX); 2-Star Housing Deed] [Defeating the Undefeatable Chain Quest Bonus Reward: +3 All Main Attributes; +5 Free Attribute Points; Bonus Oni no Gekido Loot Drop Rate, +500 Reputation among Forest-Dwelling NPCs] [Title Acquired: Indomitable David] If you think you''re too small to make a difference, try sleeping with a mosquito in your room. || You''ve defeated a Boss more than 10 Levels stronger than you without losing a single HP. No matter how small or weak you may seem, you are a force to be reckoned with! When equipped, Title grants +15% Attack Damage against enemies more than 5 Levels stronger than you, +15% Defense against enemies more than 5 Levels stronger than you, EXP bonus of 30x remaining HP when you kill an enemy more than 10 Levels stronger than you. At all times (even when unequipped), Title grants user ability to subtract -5 from Level requirement on weapons and gear.|| [ Battle Log ] { Oni no Gekido } +50,000 EXP || Nightfall Bonus: 2x EXP || || Unscathed Bonus: For defeating a Boss without losing any Health Points, +5 Vitality, +25,000 EXP|| || Slingshot Bonus: Like David v Goliath, for solo-defeating a monster more than 5 Levels stronger than you, 2x EXP|| || Slingshot Bonus II: For solo-defeating a monster more than 10 Levels stronger than you, 3x EXP; +3 Strength|| || Slingshot Bonus III: For solo-defeating a monster more than 15 Levels stronger than you, 4x EXP; +5 Strength|| ----- "Yesyesyes!" I use my AGI for what it''s really worth, and bust out the best Moonwalk and Running Man the world has ever seen. Best day ever. And there''s one way to make it even better... I squeeze my eyes shut and pray to every God in the vicinity, "Please be pants, please be pants, please be pants." *Holds breath. Peeks through fingers.* --- [Drop Items] [ Large Purse ] || It''s empty, like the developers'' broken spirits. (Whoops, looks like the demon''s a cheapskate when you kill him weeks ahead of schedule!) Thisrge leather drawstring bag can hold up to 10,000 Gold. Cannot be stolen.|| [ Wrath Reaper ] {White} To Equip: Level 25 / Strength 40 + Intelligence 20 || Glorified weedwacker with a taste for vengeance. Wrath Reaper is a one-handed scythe. Deals 250 Attack Damage, Deals 3x Damage when used in Berserk State, Attacks Reduce Durability of Enemy Weapons/Gear at 2x Rate, +5% Attack Speed, +3 Strength, +2 Intelligence. Active Skill: Waves of Fury - AoE Ground Attack, First Wave Deals 150 Attack Damage and Induces Stun Effect, Second Wave Deals 300 Damage and Induces Stun Effect, Third Wave Deals 500 Damage and Induces Stun Effect. Cooldown: 10 Minutes Active Skill: Vengeance Counter - Counterattack, may only be used after Blocking opponent''s attack, Three-sh Combo Deals 900 Damage, 3% Chance of Breaking opponent''s weapon if you hit it, 5% Chance of Breaking opponent''s weapon if they Block part of the Combo. Cooldown: 5 Minutes || [ Oni Cuirass ] {Blue} To Equip: Level 25 / Strength 40 + Agility 25 || Look good, feel good, fight good. This leather light armor protects your torso - back and chest - and is imbued with the power of a demon. +15% Defense, +25% Defense when in Berserk State, +25 Durability to all Equipped Gear, +5 Strength, +5 Vitality, +150 Heat Resistance Active Skill: Inferno Shield - 100% Invincibility for 3 Seconds. Cooldown: 5 Minutes || --- There''s also a ton of monster partsws, fangs, guts, ming eyeband a couple pieces of mid-grade heavy armor I''ll never wear, but no matter how many times I look over my Battle Log, there are no trousers. Well. That''s it, then. I''m destined to forever roam the universe in hot pink underwear. It''s fine. I''ll just learn how to twerk. {I''m speechless.} The green-white glowing tree spirit Kodama floats over to where I''m practicing important skills amidst the rubble. "Is it my amazing booty shaking?" {No.} Her voice is t, and maybe a little pained? Like whatever she saw burned through retinas she doesn''t even have... Nah, I probably just imagined that. I do a few shadowboxing jabs in the air. "Can''t believe this puny demi-human could kick so much ass?" I cross my arms, waiting for praise...that neveres. {I''m speechless.} The Kodama repeats. "Yeah, I caught that." {How didButNever should haveMakes no senseMust process. You,e backter.} Poof! The Kodama disappears in a puff of white mist. *Ding!* [Chain Quest {INSERT CLEVER NAME} Activated!] [(Chain Quest Details TBD, thanks to an overeager Certain Someone *coughyerErebuscough* making months of development and programming obsolete in a single morning.)] [Warning: Failure toplete this mandatory quest will result in penalty. (And since we''re forced to develop this quest solely for you, it''s going to be hard, and the penalty for failure will be harsh.) ()] ... Did the devs just flip me off via emoticon? Chapter 31: Shroud of Darkness Chapter 31: Shroud of Darkness Tarabu''s waiting to cheer and sing my praises when I make it back to the vige. He invites me to dinner before I head off to Realm One, and since I''m ravenous (and he''s not crying anymore), I agree. Besides, I worked my ass off to try these legendary omelettes. Dina owes me. Though the moon and starlight is more than enough for my rad Nightvision, as we head to the treehouse where I''d delivered the eggs, Tarabu magicks a light to guide us. "Nifty trick," I say. "Would you like to learn to do it yourself?" he asks. ''DO BEARS SHIT IN THE WOODS?'' I answer in my head. "Why yes, that would be lovely," I answer aloud. Tarabu smiles indulgently. "To activate magic skills, you must envision the skill in action and firmly believe saying or thinking the spell''s incantation will activate the magic. Many struggle with the belief portion, especially in the beginning." It''s like when Luke can''t raise the X-Wing out of the Dagobah swamp. I get it. I close my eyes and visualize a bright glow emanating from my body. "Lux," I whisper. The sudden brightness is visible even through my closed eyelids. I open my eyes to see a brilliant white light illuminating everything three meters in every direction. *Happy chime!* [You have acquired standard skill: Lux.] [Lux: Be a walking glowstick! A standard skill, Lux is a healthy glow anyone can use to make this world a little less scary. It can attract monsters during Nightfall and while in dungeons, so use with caution.] "Gee, Chief, you couldn''t have taught me this before I had to trek through the dark woods filled with evil ghost babies?" Chief Tarabu shakes his head. "It was a Quest of Daring. It was supposed to strike fear into your heart and teach you to ovee terror." "That exins the excessive creep-factor, I guess. Is this also why you didn''t give me any potions?" Tarabu looks stricken for a second, then gets all shifty-eyed and starts sweating. "Uh...yeah. Yep. Mhmm. I definitely did not get swept up by emotions and forget your quest parting gift. I simply wanted you to experience fighting on the edge of life and death, and teach you to scavenge for your needs!" I stare him down. He makes a strangled sound, and coughs. "Oho! By the way! Completely unrted, but as a congrattions for a job splendidly done, why don''t you take this potion gift set I just so happened to find in my robe!" I check out the notification to see he''s handed me 5 small & 3rge vials each of the red health and green stamina potions. Shaking my head and sighing, I equip them all on Orion''s Belt. Then I notice there was a second notification I''d missed earlier. [First Time''s The Charm Bonus: You learned your first magic skill on your first try! +1 Intelligence] Nice! I remember in the beta, magic was a tricky beast for many yers, since it''s not something you do in real life, obvs. Visualization is one of the most important skills in this game. On a whim, I visualize a blue glow instead of the white. Immediately, a soft blue light surrounds me. Grinning, I transition the light to purple, then red, then gold, then straight-up rainbow. Seeing Old Man Tarabu bathed in a rainbow miasma, I can''t help it. I giggle. ''Hmm, what if...'' I think, before the light disappears and a deep ck shadow swallows everything in the same three-meter radius. Not even my Nightvision can discern anything in the darkness. [You have created a new skill: Nox!] [Nox: Drown the world in shadow. Nox is a permutation of the standard skill Lux; instead of light, create a shroud of darkness. Perception +15 required to see within Nox Shadow. Note: yer-Created Skill D''Raven Erebus] [Creator Bonus: +3 Intelligence, +1 Perception, +250 Reputation among Magic Practitioners] Huh. So that''s what if. Chapter 32: Legendary Dinner Chapter 32: Legendary Dinner When I dispel the Nox Shadow, Tarabu''s looking at me funny. "Whoops," I sort-of apologize. "Guess magic''s not so hard after all." The Chief stares, unblinking. "So...dinner, yeah?" Still nothing. No words, no blinks. My eyes start watering, and I blink rapidly, in that awful headspace where I can''t stop thinking about my own blinking. Unnerved by the Chief''s continued silence, I take off for tree casa de Wife Number Three. Eventually, Tarabu catches up, and by the time the weing glow of the hutes into view, he seems to have gotten over whatever the hell got his panties in a bunch. Dina sees us as soon as we enter. She beams us with a sweet smile. It''s as fake as her programmed tits, but both look impressively real. "d you came, Hot Pink Hero!" I put my fists on my hips, a modern-day Captain Underpants. "Guess it''s your lucky day." Tarabu hugs her and wanders off to join the rest of the family. The second he''s gone, Dina''s extra-wide smile disappears, reced by her usual smirk of disdain. I think I prefer the smirk, to be honest. "You''re the one lucky enough to be invited," she scoffs. I roll my eyes. "Sure, sure. Better be one helluva delicious omelette." "You doubting my precious baby sister''s cooking?" a 2-meter-tall giant booms from the doorway behind me. He slings his heavy, muscly arm around my shoulders, and I have to check my HP for damage. "You''rete, Kaneki," one of the shorter sisters says to the giant as she saunters over. Behind her, I see a long dining tableden with food. Kaneki leans more of his weight on me. My Strength stat barely keeps me standing. "I''ve arrived at the perfect time to save our dear Dina from this fiendish rapscallion," he says. The sister and I snort. Kaneki squeezes my shoulder. Hard. I lose 1 HP. I shouldn''t be surprised it takes all of ten seconds for Dina''s family to do what a Level 25 Boss couldn''t. I hope some of the food has health recovery properties. The sister ps Kaneki''s arm, and tugs him down so she can grab him by the pointy part of the ear. "Like Dina needs saving from anyone. Now put away that sisterplex. You''re scaring our guest." While hauling the pained Kaneki away by the ear, she gestures for me to find a seat. Bemused and slightly scared of the short tengu woman, I take the seat Tarabu pulls out for me, next to him. I groan when Dina takes the seat on my other side, but I try to cover it with a cough when I catch Kaneki''s death re. Dina kicks my ankle under the table anyway. I jostle her arm while she drinks, dribbling spiced cranberry cider down her chin. She retaliates by pretending to stretch and dropping a slimy mushroom down the back of my shirt. I flick a pea down her cleavage. She doesn''t even notice, which means I win. Ah, this feels nostalgic. I miss childhood dinners with my sister Xiuying. The rest of the family keeps up boisterous conversation the entire meal. They discuss the "Tumult in the Realms," as they call the general unrest and turbulence the game designed for the yers to resolve. They provide a few clues about the mobs (monsters) in Realm One, but nothing seems too different from the beta. When they''re not clearly acting the part of Guide NPCs, the family interacts so normally, it''s almost unnerving. The siblings rib each other,ughing and hollering, and they boost each other up at the same time they shoot digs to make sure their siblings don''t get too cocky. All four parents show distinct parenting styles. Mom Oneughs and teases just as hard as the kids. Mom Two (short sister''s mother) is the one who can stop a fight with a single word or stern look and keeps things in check. Mom Three is the "Everyone y nice now!" parent who keeps making the siblings apologize and does the "Now say one nice thing about your brother," bit. Tarabu interjects here and there, but mostly quietly observes it all with a gentle, indulgent smile on his wrinkled face. If it weren''t for the wings and Mom One and her children having beaks and bird w feet, I''d seriously wonder if these NPCs weren''t real, sentient beings. As the meal goes on, however, I notice that there seems to be an unspoken rule: for all the ribbing and teasing, Dina''s never really a target. The rest of the family babies her and showers her with praise, but otherwise, she''s left out of the constant sibling battles of wit. I call her an airhead and steal thest dumpling off her te, you know, to help her feel part of the group. When most of the food has disappeared, Tarabu clinks his cup and draws our attention. "It''s wonderful to be surrounded by family and enjoying such delicious food. And this dinner is made even better by the inclusion of a very special guest." "Hmph," Kaneki grunts, face set in a skeptical scowl. Without looking away from her father, Kaneki''s short sister stabs him with a meat fork. Kaneki''s eyes water as he pulls the two-tined utensil out of his hand. He''s actually bleeding a little; tiny tengudy''s strength stat must be even higher than her mountain of a brother''s. This family takes adorable sibling hijinks to a different level. Oblivious (or just so used to it he no longer bothersmenting), Tarabu continues, "I would like to formally introduce our guest of honor for this evening. This is the Hero of Ages, Erebus!" He ps me on the shoulder as the rest of the family nods and smiles in my direction. I blush from all the attention, until I see the usual smirk on Dina''s face and the glower on Kaneki''s. Their derision calms me. "Before he takes off on his greatest of all adventures to save the world from the Tumult and be the Hero of the Realms, we have a special gift for him. This omelette was specially prepared by our lovely Dina," Tarabu beams at Dina, proud as a peacock. I stick my tongue out at her when he''s not looking. Dina crosses her eyes at me and then smiles as she stands up to serve the magically still-warm dish. "These eggs were procured by me after great hardship" "Coughbullshitcough," I pretend-cough into my cup. "and as everyone knows, legend tells of the wonderful magical properties these eggs provide us tengu," she finishes without a pause. "I know the properties change depending on how well they''re prepared. How''d you do, Baby D?" one of her older sisters asks. I shoot her my most annoying smirk and silently mouth, "Baby D?" Her cheeks turn pink and she avoids looking at me. Iugh. "What''re youughing at, knave?" Kaneki growls. I can''t help but wonder what the dev who designed his speech patterns and insults was thinking. "I''m sure my baby sister did an amazing job!" "I did," Dina says, half-proud, half-annoyed by her family. "I''ve created the best possible meal! Eating this guarantees a 90% Chance for Great Luck and a 9% Chance for Prime Luck!" Murmurs and exmations of excitement fill the room. Apparently, Dina really isn''t useless; sounds like the best most people can hope for is 90% Good Luck, 9% Great. Prime Luck seems particrly amazing; it permanently increases your Luck stat and has an active Luck Skill that can triple your good luck for short periods of time. Great Luck is solid, too, though, since it grants a tengu unbeatable luck for 72 hours and a 3-time-use active Luck Skill. Dina''s siblings discuss the big ns and adventures they want to try out once they score the luck boost. I can''t help but be swept up by everyone''s excitement, too, and I envision myself using my amazing new luck to beat the whole game and score the best pantsI mean, gearand for a quick second, I even envision the super sexy female yer from the beta (the one who stabbed and electrocuted the sleazy dude in the Battle Arena) falling head over heels for me, Erebus, God of Viren''s Refuge... I rub my hands together in anticipation and grab my chopsticks, ready to eat my way to good fortune! Dina serves everyone a small portion of the omelette, and one at a time, each family member takes a bite and reveals what luck they received. Unsurprisingly, most of the family acquires the 90% Chance Great Luck. In fact, every one of Dina''s parents and siblings do so. But Dina''s the extra lucky one for the evening; she takes one big bite of egg, and a golden glow surrounds her. 9% Chance Prime Luck. Damn. I feel like she''s taken all the good juju, and I''m going to be stuck with Great Luck. I know statistics don''t actually work like that, but it feels like they do. Once Dina stops glowing and her family stops congratting her on her amazing luck and overall wonderfulness (that part takes a lot longer than the glowing), I''m ready for my fortune. I''mst to go, so everyone is intensely staring at me. I''ve never felt more pressure to not drop food off my chopsticks. "Mmmmm," I can''t help but vocalize how freaking delicious these eggs are. This is the most perfect omelette that anyone has ever eaten. It tastes so amazing, I know my luck must be just as good as Dina''s. I''m wrong. *Ding!* [You have acquired {FICKLE FORTUNE}! For the next 72 hours, the Whimsy of Fortune will follow you! Whether this leads you to marvelous treasure or a woeful end, who can say? Active Skill: Erratic Luck - Once per day, you can bestow Erratic Luck upon one person (could be yourself). For an hour, the person will experience either incredible luck or miserable misfortune, or possibly, something in between.] 1% Chance. Shoulda known. My first day in Realm One is going to be interesting... Chapter 33: Making an Entrance Chapter 33: Making an Entrance | Lough Gur Town, Realm One - Gael | As Nightfall ends, orange-red sunrise bathes Lough Gur Town in fiery light. When the NPCs wake from their slumber and leave their stone houses, the town is already lively and loud. Hundreds of wide-awake yers explore the shops and hunt for quests. NPCs with the telltale orange names are bombarded by PCs of all nine demihuman races as well as human yers. Most NPCs remain patient and give out quests one after another; some, however, are clearly programmed to be more cantankerous and grumble whenever too many yers swarm them at once. The Adventure Hall overflows with yers turning in quests and searching for quest and dungeon information. Restaurants and taverns are filled with people experiencing their first virtual meals and alcohol. yers nning to focus on Lifestyle gamey follow Master NPCs around, trying to trigger quest scenarios to be apprentices. One area is quiet, however, and has been for a while now. The circr stone tform in the center of town is currently a one-way Teleportation Portal, and every yer has already arrived from their respective Foundation Viges. Or, at least, almost every yer. The familiar turquoise glow brightens the tform, drawing the attention of the bustling crowd. "Is that a yer?" "No way, it''s been 12 hours already. Maybe it''s a special NPC!" "Ooh, good point. It''s exactly 12:00 in-game right now. Probably triggered something." "Sucks to be those poor bastards out grinding; they''re gonna miss out big time!" Fourteen-year-old Liam Dunleavy, avatar name Taliesin, joins the throng of yers who crowd around the portal. He''s excited to see who or what is arriving in town, but he''s always excited, so it''s difficult to tell. He pops thest of a warm apple tart into his mouth and mbers atop a nearby thatched roof to snag the perfect view. Then Liam activates the amazing system video function; if this is a special event, this vid could be worth money! The turquoise portal shes extra bright, and a dark figure steps through the gateway. Sunlight glints off his massive ck wings, and a tattoo moves like smoke and shadow across half his face. A charcoal gray scarf covers his mouth and neck, adding to his mystery. Liam''s sharp eyes take in the D''Raven''s impressive gear: the strange shell-and-leather pauldrons, the cool-looking assassin-y scarf, the faint sparks emitting from his vambraces, the sparkling gems on his belt. Everyone else only notices the ripped tunic, the weird cross-body belt wearing, and the short, hot pink boxer briefs with white heart polka dots. "Hell, it''s not a special NPC. It''s just some damn noob!" "How could it take anyone this long to finish the stupid Foundation Vige?" "This jerk''s just wasting our time." Liam frowns at the stupid crowd. It''s not like the D''Raven asked anyone to stop what they were doing as he teleported into town. And they''re all dumb for thinking taking longer in the Foundation Vige automatically means you suck. Liam had actually managed to unlock a couple of the Chain Quests, so he understood something most of these morons didn''t; it''s possible this "slow" yer was simply so good, he scored enough S-ratings to unlock so many Chain Quests, he only now finished up. A red-faced Rakshasa snarls and blocks the neer''s path. "Who''re you?" The D''Raven looks coolly at the rude demon yer. "Erebus." Liam grins at the cool name. ''Greek, being of chaos and shadows. Fitting,'' the boy thinks. "Did you know you have ''HERO'' written across your ass?" a female Draegkyn asks. The D''Raven turns toward the sneering girl, and Liam can see that, yep, his boxers have ''HERO'' syed across them in pretty calligraphy. Liam pretends this doesn''t ruin the chaos-and-darkness thing. For a split second, Erebus'' face tightens with what Liam recognizes as that special horrible expression of surprise, panic, embarrassment, and that unique feeling of wishing the ground might swallow you up. As a teenager, it''s an expression he''s intimately familiar with. But then Erebus does what most teens cannot, and he reins in the awkward. Smoothly, his face falls back into a disinterested smirk, and he looks at the Draegkyn like she''s the one who should be embarrassed, not him. Her face distorts and the few scales on her cheeks turn red. Shoulders hunched, she backs down from his sharp gaze. The two men with herone burly Camazotz, one scrawny humanre at Erebus like he''s physically attacked her or something. The D''Raven gives them a t stare and turns to leave. Before he can take more than one step, both men charge him with their weapons drawn. Even though he knows they can''t hurt him in a Safe Haven, Liam can''t help but call out a warning to the mysterious D''Raven. "Behind you!" He needn''t have bothered. Quicker than a lightning sh, Erebus disarms both yers with a silver-white de he draws so fast not even Liam can see where it came from. The Camazotz''s war hammer and the human''s longsword both go flying; the hammer smashes a bakery window and the sword spears the mortar between two stones of the apothecary. Murmurs fill the air between the crowd like verbal fog, and everyone takes an involuntary step back. Unconcerned, the D''Raven uses the extra space to start walking away again. He looks at his glimmering sword and down at hisck of scabbard, then shrugs and slides it into the stic of his underwear. Liam figures since underclothes are Immortal Objects, it''s not like the sword can hurt them. "Told you he was a noob," someone whispers loudly. "He doesn''t even realize his weapon can be stolen like that. It won''t disappear since it''s touching him, but it''s not officially equipped if it''s not in hand or on your belt." From the twitch of his pointed ears, Liam can tell Erebus hears the speaker. But the D''Raven appears unconcerned, continuing to walk out of the square. This time, when a yer sneaks up in a clear attempt to steal the awesome sword, Liam doesn''t bother with a warning. He has the distinct feeling Erebus knows the guy''sing; if he isn''t worried, Liam won''t be either. "Ha!" the thief cries out in sess as he pulls the sword from Erebus'' hip. "Idiot birdbrain deserves it," someone says. "I should have stolen it first!" someone else bemoans. "HOLY SHIT!" someone screams. Though Liam can barely hear thatst bit over the bloodcurdling screams of terror from the thief, who is currently burning alive in an inferno of pure white me. Erebus covers his face with his wings, so Liam ducks his head into the straw and closes his eyes. A voice rings out in the square, knightly and strong: "Justice against the Unworthy!" Then the mes burn so bright it scalds everyone else''s retinas, and the thief is no more. Only Liam can see Erebus calmly pick his sword back up from where it ttered to the ground. Only Liam can see the first true, genuine smile to grace the D''Raven''s face as he sees what dropped from the thief. A pair of pants. With a jaunty spring to his step, Erebus leaves to find his next adventure. Liam leaps down from the roof to follow him. He always trusts his gut, and his instincts are telling him this D''Raven will lead him down a path of crazy adventures and epic awesomeness, and seriously, what more can a fourteen-year-old want? As he weaves through the crowd, the 2-second Blind wears off, and the yers freak out in worry and rm...until they realize Erebus disappeared already, and they y it off like nothing happened. "I thought you couldn''t attack someone in a Safe Haven!" "He didn''t really attack, though? Didn''t the sword kind of do it on its own?" "The bastard''s still a noob, even if he somehow scored a broken weapon." "Yeah, it''s just making him seem better than he is." Liam doesn''t agree. Before Erebus had left, Liam had engaged one of his racial perks to focus his vision on what looked like an ink-stter on Erebus'' tunic. It was a Champion Emblem. This D''Raven was at least Top 100 in the beta. Yet he''s already convinced a couple hundred people he''s a worthless nobody, even after disintegrating a yer in the middle of town. Liam grins. "He makes an entrance, I''ll give him that." Chapter 34: Sweet Nothings and Sweet Somethings Chapter 34: Sweet Nothings and Sweet Somethings Holy shit that dude is literally toast. I mean, yeah, I absolutely baited the bastard only an idiot would think his weapon''s safe strapped to his damn underpants and yeah, I''d thought some shit would go down if he actually tried to steal Zen, but hot damn, this sword does not fuck around! I''m like 3/4 insanely pleased with how perfectly badass it is, and 1/4 terrified I''m going to cripple my ount any time I draw either of my Cursed des. I whisper sweet nothings to Zen, just in case it helps the sword keep seeing me as "worthy." "Wow, what a great sword you are. You cut good. You''re shiny. You burned that dumbass to a crisp, yes you did." So, I''m not really a sweet nothings kind of guy. (But I''m great at talking to dogs.) I give Zen an affectionate pat before stowing it in storage, then duck behind the tannery to pull out my greatest treasure. Pants. Glorious pants. Seriously, I would have taken anything at this pointI might have in a dragon for the chance at a freakin'' h skirtbut my Fickle Fortune seems to have decided to help a brotha out this time around. If I ever get my hands on whichever dev was in charge of designing these godforsaken boxers, however, I will kill them IRL. The wannabe thief must have scored trousers as a monster drop; I recognize these as part of a Yellow-tier set you can only equip after Level 10. Using the magic of VR, I pull the dark pants on without taking off my boots, and they auto-alter to fit perfectly. Then I re-equip Orion''s Belt onto the pants, and vo! I look like a real RPG character now, folks! I pop into Logane''s Leatherworks for my next necessity: scabbards. As much as I enjoyed burning a dude alive, I''m not trying to have an endless swarm of idiots stealing my shit all the time. Logane''s ce is way off the main streets, and looks about one step below a grimy, decrepit hovel. The sign''s barely readable, and when I open the door, it doesn''t creak so much as it cries out in pain like an old geezer who threw out his back but still has to hobble off his rocker to yell at kids cutting across hiswn. Mypletionist-obsessed personality led me to open every door in Lough Gur during the beta because it was the first Realm town I materialized in then, too. This led to some mishaps, as Viren''s Refuge is not like Zelda, where none of the NPCs seem to mind if you break into their homes and smash their antiques. Turns out these NPCs might do anything from scream bloody murder, offer you a pint, or stab you in the gut with a firepoker. One veryrge, very wrinkled, old person missing half their teeth and all but three strands of haircouldn''t tell if it was a man or woman beneath all the dirtthought I''d broken in to ravish them andid down on the bed in what I think was supposed to be a seductive e hither" pose. When I reported the harrowing scene to the devs, they responded with, "Hmm, interesting. And did you ept the invitation? We have a short survey for you toplete if you did." I had to take two days off after that. The positive oue of my string of B&Es is that I found two amazing shops I wouldn''t have otherwise: one yer-owned, and Logane''s. The outside might be trash, but the inside is a treasure trove of handcrafted leather goods, meticulously arranged throughout the immacte space. Not because Logane cares about disying his wares for customers, though; he''ll tell you it''s because the items prefer the space to breathe. And if you touch any of the goods, or identally bump so much as a shoe out of ce, he''ll attack you faster than my mother when I''d dry my hands with one of the "good towels forpany" right before her book club arrived. Most yers don''t realize NPCs can harm yers in Safe Havens; only yers are restricted from violence. I may have died in the beta once because I jostled a leather riding crop and Logane proceeded to beat me to death with it, so it could (and I''m quoting here), "enact its revenge against my barbaric manhandling." Not as kinky as BDSM porn would have you believe, even if Logane was wearing nothing but leather. (I think it was the apron that threw off the aesthetic.) "Whaddya want?" Logane growls when I enter. I draw Zen''aku and ce them on the counter. "I need scabbards for these, please." He shuffles over from his workstation to examine the des. "What kind?" "I was thinking hip" "Wrong." "Okaaay..." "Materials?" I don''t even try to guess this time. I swipe to open my Items window and pass the section of monster hides over to him. Squinting, he frowns and mutters, furiously swiping left like he''s a Mean Girl on a dating app, "No. Awful. No. Shite. Of course not, what does the brat think this is? No. Ah, fine. This''ll do." He looks up, and I think he might be telling me which material he deemed worthy, but no, he just frowns deeper and asks how I''ll be paying. Since I pissed off the devs, I''m still broke af, so I offer half my monster hides and the Oni guts. He crosses his arms. "All the hides, the Oni guts, and four nekomata ws." I cross my arms and add a raised eyebrow. "Two ws, and you throw in two small dagger sheaths, one boot, one hip." His face wrinkles in a frown so deep, I feel like I''m staring into the Grand Canyon. "Don''t I know you?" he asks, gruff with suspicion. "Nope, impossible, never met you a day in my life," I reply, studiously not looking at the riding crops. "Harrumph. Fine. Now feck off a bit. It''ll be ready when it''s ready." "Good man," I say, and gtfo before he changes his mind. While I''m waiting, I do the more boring errands. First, I sell my Trash like it''s another man''s treasure. For some reason, half of Lough Gur was hanging out when I arrived through the Portal, and I seem to have pissed everyone off, even though I only said one word. Not in the mood to deal with anymore PCs face-to-face, I hit up the auction house, where yers can use the in-game interface to sell goods to anyone in the Realm, though the house charges an annoying 15% transaction fee. Mindbogglingly, the Yellow knives I barely consider letter openers go for eight silvers apiece. That''s about a day''s earnings for normal yers at this level. More surprising, the firstmp oil I put up for online auction almost immediately gets into a bidding war. The oil burns for a few hours, so I''d optimistically opened the bid at 10 coppers; when it finally sells, it goes for a whopping twelve silvers! Worried I''m missing something important, I check out the forums to see what the hell''s going on. It doesn''t take me long to realize that no one knows about the Lux Skill. Or at least, no one who does is telling, and everybody else seems to think the only way to see while raiding a dungeon is by carryingnterns. The dungeons in the beta were already lit, but I guess none of them are anymore, and NPCs aren''t selling oil. Makes sense, since everyone''s going to be able to glow soon enough. Before people figure out the truth, I sell the other nine jars I scored from the Boss Oni, 1 and 2 at a time. Post-fee, I rake in 63 silvers, 40 coppers for the lot of them, andugh my ass off in my dark corner of the auction house. Then I take my now-jingling wallet to buy health and stamina potions, food with a variety of buffs, and one White-tier dagger. I''m tempted to buy a Trash ck tunic to get me by until I can afford to repair my Damaged one, but then I remember Zen''aku still needs to be upgraded to Level 10, and I don''t want to waste a single copper that may be needed for the upgrade. I open my stats window first, to see where I ended up at the end of Foundation Vige. Now that I''ve essed the forums and seen where others ended their FV runs, I''m feeling much better about my own experience, even with the abundance of creepy babies and the hours without pants. The average demihuman PC Level is 5, human 8, and no one''s imed breaking 20 in any Attributes yet. ----- Name: Erebus Race: D''Raven ss: -- Subss: -- Title: The Natural Level: 11 EXP: 328,100/500,000 HP: 411 SP: 79 Attributes: Strength: 27 Agility: 23 Intelligence: 16 Vitality: 17 Mythic Hero Ranking: ??? Unique Sigil: Windflower Emblem - Heart of a Champion: +100 World Reputation. Power of the Winds: +5% Running Speed, +8% Flying Speed, +10% Flying Height. (Hidden Attribute effects unavable to view.) ----- Gods, I''m good at this game. I grin and do a little happy "I''m Fucking Awesome" dance; I dance even more enthusiastically when a Valkyrie chick gives me a dirty look and her Dryad friend ushers them both across the street loud-whispering about nutcases popping up around every corner. As soon as they''re out of sight, I slow my roll, however. No matter how I do the math, I can''t figure out my stat numbers. Confused, I tab over to Equipment Inventory, to see if I''d forgotten one of my gear''s bonuses or something. And that''s when I notice an item that''s no longer grayed out. --- [ Fate-Spun Scarf ] {Nova - Mythic} || To keep your neck warm and attached to your body. Woven on the Celestial Loom of Fate, this Mythic item was crafted by the Fate Goddesses to aid a true Hero in the quest to save the Realms. +20% Defense, +5% Boost to All Main Attributes, +5 Levels to Stealth, +100 Cold Resistance. Passive Skill: Thread Reader - Allows you to Perceive Level, Name, and HP of all NPCs and PCs. Active Skill: Thread Reader II - Allows you to Perceive a single Attribute stat of any NPC or PC. Cooldown: 30 Minutes. Limited-Use Active Skill: Be Kind, Fate Rewind - Allows you to "rewind" up to 30 seconds; anything within a 1500-Meter radius will be reset to positions and status from 30 seconds previous (this includes HP, SP, items, treasure chests, etc). Note: Dead yers are the exception to this rule. You may not use Be Kind, Fate Rewind to revive any dead yers (including yourself!) You may bring yourself or others back from the brink of death, but this skill will not work on anyone without at least one HP. 3/3 Avable Limited-Use Active Skill: Scissor Stop - Extra Life - After death, you may choose to stop the slicing of Fate''s Scissors on your Thread of Life. Use Extra Lives to immediately revive with full health and stamina. 3/3 Avable. || If I didn''t think Scissors Sister would stab me in the dick, I would kiss those crazy, beautiful Fates. "THANK YOU!" I yell instead, looking up in the general direction I expect the center of the cosmos to be. ----- In a quiet supernova across the universe (in the opposite direction a well-meaning young D''Raven is facing), a white-haired girl smiles. "You''re wee. Use it well." Chapter 35: Beauty and the Blades Chapter 35: Beauty and the des "Gods, they''re beautiful," I murmur as I equip my new scabbards. Logane harrumphs. "Obviously. I made ''em." I bat my eyshes at the gruff leatherworker. "Talented AND modest. What a rarebination in a man." Growling, Logane shuffles back to his workstation. "Well, men like yerself are a dime a dozen." "What kind of man am I, Master Logane?" "An arse." "How kind of you to notice!" I give him a twerky booty shake. He throws a knife at my head. I catch it before I''m impaled and realize it''s the perfect size for the smaller boot sheath. I shoot him a questioning nce and gesture to my boot. He harrumphs again and doesn''t ask for it back. "Get on with ye, good-for-nothing eejit." Grinning, I sheathe the nice little knife. "Always a pleasure, Master Logane. Tootle-oo." I give the grumpy leathersmith a finger wave. "Feck off and die." "And you as well!" I chuckle to myself as I make my way out of Lough Gur. Logane''s an arse, but damn if he isn''t talented. Using ushi-oni (ox demon) and kamaitachi (scythe-w weasel demon) hides, he crafted me a shoulder harness that fits so perfectly I can''t even feel where it sits under my pauldrons, and the coolest cross-backed scabbards for Zen''aku. They''re full-length, too, so Zen''aku''s ambient glow won''t give me away in the dark. I didn''t even need to ask to know which de is meant for which scabbard. Zen''s is darker, but brightened by a sprawling Tree of Life with a Sun rising behind it. If you look closely, the trunk looks like the body of a person, arms wide, shielding smaller beings behind it. Aku''s is lighter, but stained pitch-ck by a gnarled Tree of Death with a Crescent Moon rising behind it. You don''t have to look closely at this one to see the grinning half-mad skeleton who makes up the entirety of this skinny, sharp-branched tree. Its feet spread out into roots, while its two arms raise to form the leafless branches. A silhouette of a hanged man swings from one spindly limb. Even the small dagger sheaths are ornate and well-crafted. They''re a mix between ox oni leather and snakeskin from this weirddy-headed snake yokai I fought after the kappas. The darker,rger one goes on Orion''s Belt and sheathes the White-tier dagger I''d bought. All of the scabbards are imbued with one of Logane''s specialties: durability magic. Weapons in Viren''s Refuge have durability ratings, just like everything else, and normally you have to pay a cksmith to repair weapons every couple days. But Logane''s sheaths do something normal weapon storage cannot: they have Recovery-over-Time (RoT) magic, so while weapons are sheathed, they slowly repair themselves. A shing notification tells me I''m leaving the Safe Haven of Lough Gur, so I pick up speed. I''d been waffling between heading for a Main Storyline Quest out in the forest or hitting up a local dungeon, but after seeing all the materials required to upgrade Zen''aku, I go straight for the Dolmen Dungeon. Basic Upgrade Requirements (Each Cursed de): 1 Weapon of an Enemy Disarmed in Combat 3 Reptilian Monster Scales 2 Boss Monster ws 1 Vial Fog Essence 1 Banshee Tooth The fact it says "basic requirements" makes me think it''s a trick. For example, I''m sure that technically scales from the snakedy I attacked would count, but Zen''aku would upgrade with better stats if I used scales from a reptilian Boss monster instead. The hint is thest material; there''s a Banshee you have to fight before the final boss of the Level 8 Dolmen Dungeon. And that boss is a wed, reptilian monster. I crest a hill, and I''m struck once again by the awesomeness of this world. The Dolmen for this dungeon, like dolmens IRL, is made up of two sides of stone pirs with a massive t capstone boulder across the top. It''s essentially a 7,000-year-old house of cards, but the cards are made out of giant-ass boulders that should have been impossible for paleolithic people to move. (Unless aliens.) (Just saying.) As I walk closer, I''m surprised there aren''t more yers milling about trying to form parties. I wander through the thirty or so yers, asking a few questions but mostly relying on my favorite Observational Superpower: tant Eavesdropping. ''Interesting,'' I think after a few passes. Turns out a 4-Man Party with a rotating 5th have snatched the First Clear of three dungeons already, including the Lough Gur Dolmen. Even more impressive (or annoying, depending how you look at it), they''ve also set a Best Time record at each of them. This is great news to me and my materials-hunting mission. First, people worried about record-setting have already run off to grind so they can hit up higher-level dungeons or they''ve set off for the farther-away dungeons still avable at this level. The yers still around here are more likely to share my current materials-gathering focus. Second, the 4-Man group is solely focused on the EXP from clears, so they''ve only run the dungeons on Hard Mode. (You can''t get a First Clear or set a Best Time on Normal Mode.) They''re working the quantity over quality angle, which means it''ll be easier than I thought to convince some yers to try this dungeon on Nightmare Mode. (If I want to upgrade Zen''aku, I really need the increased drop rate of the hellish Nightmare Mode.) Finally, the fact that a single group has taken so many records and appeared on the System Announcements so many times is probably wearing on even the people who normally don''t care. If I can help a group snag a First Clear of their own (each dungeon has two avable; one Hard, one Nightmare), I can probably convince them to give me the materials I want! The only downside to all this is that when I pass by the dungeon entrance, I see the list of record-breaking yers, and Polemos is listed with the Party Leader insignia. A sh of frustration hits me when I recognize him as the first yer to reach Gael. Mypetitive nature makes me instinctively hate this fucker. I can somehow just feel that to take the top spot and rule Viren''s Refuge, I''m going to have to fight this bastard at some point. Maybe it''s the fact that his name means War. Could be a clue. His buddies Limos, Loimos, and Thanatos (Famine, gue, and Death) rounding out the Four Horsemen of the Goddamn Apocalypse are also perhaps a clue. Move over, Sherlock, there''s a new genius sociopath in town. --- Prepared now for anything, I begin searching in earnest for an open party. "4-Man, seeking 1 DPS!" Bingo! I head toward the gruff voice. And then immediately freeze, because apparently "prepared for anything" did NOT include running into the GIRL OF MY GODDAMN DREAMS. She''s ying a Valkyrie, because of course she is, that''s perfect, obviously, no one else should ever y Valkyrie because they''ll all fall miserably short of this perfection, fuck she''s so hot I might die. Her silvervender hair is still styled in borate braids, now more Viking-themed, and it''s pulled back with a leather hair tie adorned with a vicious snake fang still slick with venom. Her eyes are still that electric shade of dark violet, and her skin is still that pale peaches-and-cream that makes me want to use my tongue more creatively than I ever managed in high school. (Yeah, I''m a socially awkward nerd, but nothing helps a teen lose his v-card like Olympic Gold. You guys would not believe the amount of sex happening in Olympic Vige.) "No dice, dude." The same gruff voice I''d heard earlier pulls my attention from my Viking Goddess. "We''re looking for someone higher leveled." Using my Thread Reader passive, I see they''re all Level 7 and 8. Considering they''re all ying demi-humans, that''s pretty impressive. They must have grinded all Nightfall for the double EXP to keep up with the human yers. Honestly, I''m looking for lower-leveled yers myself. If the party''s too strong, they won''t need me to carry them as much, and I won''t be able to bargain for materials. But hot girl. With my scarf, I Perceive her name is Kara Geir. Wild Storm Spear. Her own spin on the names of a few truly badass Valkyries in Norse myth. Gods, she''s perfect. "How do you know he''s low-leveled, Nanuk?" the other girl in their party, a Draegkyn, asks the gruff-voiced Shaman. "None of his gear is Celtic," Nanuk answers. "He hasn''t grinded in Gael yet, so he can''t be higher than Level 5." I''m impressed the observant dude can be so right and still so wrong. "Maybe I hit Level 10 in my Foundation Vige," I say, unconsciously putting my hands on my hips like I''d grown ustomed to doing when I was pantsless. The other guy, an Anubis Warrior I''m guessing is their Tank,ughs. "Yeah right, bro. And I found a Celestial Chest buried in mine." My smirk gets a tad smirkier at that. "Sweet. Me, too!" I say. Anubis dude and Draegkyn chickugh. Nanuk rolls his eyes and calls out for a DPS yer again. Kara Geir the Valkyrie doesn''tugh, though. She tilts her head and looks at me, thoughtful. I don''t let anything show on my face. Nothing hides the truth better than actually saying it aloud. "Nan, why not let the D''Raven join us?" Her voice is lower than I''d imagined, sexy rather than sweet, and I feel like I''ve been electrocuted by her spear lightning attack. She sounds almost familiar; I must have heard her in a beta promo vid without realizing it. "What? You don''t believe his bullshit, right, Kara?" "Of course not. But he''s wearing decent gear, and I get the feeling he can do some damage with those swords across his back." The look on her face tells me she''s trying to ce me, but I look too different from my beta avatar. "Cool," Draegkyn girl says. "What''s your name, hot stranger?" "Erebus," I reply. Anubis dude is frowning now. Must not have appreciated the "hot" part. The Valkyrie nudges the Shaman, and Nanuk begrudgingly swipes a Party Invite over to me. [Nanuk invites you to join his Party. ept? Yes or No] "Want to join our Party, Erebus?" Kara asks, smiling. And I mean, yes, I do. I want to follow her and that gorgeous smile to the edge of the world. But also, my beautiful Cursed Zen''aku needs me... Hot girl or swords? Hot girl or swords?! I stare into the bright violet eyes that have haunted more than one (extremely pleasant) dream since the final day of the beta, and my decision is clear. "Sorry! des before Babes!" And then I smash the "No" more forcefully than necessary before I can change my mind, and run. Chapter 36: Inconvenient Truths Chapter 36: Inconvenient Truths WHY DID I RUN? AM I A FUCKING IDIOT?! WHO THE FUCK DOES THAT?! Sigh. There are two types of Dumbass with Crush in this world: the Stalker and the Runner. I am firmly in thetter camp. (Granted, both types tend to outgrow these tendencies by middle school, but hey! Guess I''m ate bloomer.) (I''ll just feck off an die now.. .) How I imagine the conversation would have gone, had I not been a total fucking idiot or feckin'' eejit, if Logane weren''t agoraphobic and had been around to see that epic disaster: --- Me as a Normal Person: "Why thank you, Kara Geir, for your thoughtful invite, I would love to join your party. Unfortunately, I''m on a hunt for some particr materials to upgrade an item I was bold and lucky enough to receive, so I will have to pass this time." Goddess Her: "Wow, you''re so cool and collected, and you already have an upgradeable item? Marry me, Erebus!" Suave Me: "Sorry, but I cannot. Though the heart is willing, the mind knows it is yet too soon. Once I rule the Nine Realms, we shall speak of such things again." --- Or, you know, something like that. Sighhhh. Determined to find an outlet to vent my frustration with my own shorings, I run to the far side of the Dolmen and search for someone more pathetic than me. And then I see him. Nightfury. --- (Author Reminder: Nightfury made his inglorious debut in Chapter 3, in the section of Trash Talk.) (zing Fists: *waves at the lovely readers who have stayed with the story*) --- Guys. Guysguysguys. He''s ying a Draegkyn. Nightfury is ying a dragonkin. I''m so happy right now. I feel like this man was put on this earth to make me feel better about myself. "4-Man Party, searching for 1! DPS or Tank!" "Must have solid armor! Running Nightmare Mode!" Waving, I walk up to Nightfury and a Camazotz named Kane. He''s the highest level among the party, at 6, and the insignia next to his name denotes him as Party Leader. "DPS here!" I announce. The Party Leader nods at me. "I''m Kane, and this is Nightfury." Then he gestures to a dryad and a D''Raven, the first one I''ve seen so far. This guy''s only Level 4, though, so I''m not sure what the heck he did back at the tengu vige. "These two are Lis and Shadeyer." "''Sup, I''m Erebus." "Your gear looks good," Kane says. "You want to join our party?" "I do. I love a man whomits to his character." "Huh?" "Kane, as in Bob Kane, right? The creator of Batman?" Kane grins. "Yeah, actually." "Great name for a Camazotz. Too bad your friend doesn''t have yourmitment to geekdom," I say, shaking my head at Nightfury. "What the hell are you talking about?" Nightfury growls. "Red scales? I mean, seriously. Clearly you should have gone with ck to stay true to character." Lisughs. "He has a point, dude." "How many times do I have to say my name has nothing to do with a cartoon dragon!? I''ve never even seen that movie!" "Too bad. It''s a ssic," Lis says. "What kind of pathetic childhood did you have?" I ask, aghast. "It was perfectly normal, thank you very much!" Nightfury huffs. "Not if you never saw HTTYD," Lis says. "For fuck''s sake! This game''s dragons are Chinese, anyway!" I suck in air through my teeth. "Ooh, then that''s even more embarrassing. You know Chinese dragons are diurnal, right? Maybe you should change your name to NightcalmZzz." Lis busts outughing, and even Kaneughs before quickly covering with a cough. Shadeyer the D''Raven looks bored, and Nightfury looks like he''s about to explode. This is my happy ce. "Forget this ass, Kane! Let''s find someone else to join our party." I cross my arms. "Not a good idea, NightcalmZzz. If you want to run Nightmare, you need me." That gets Shadeyer''s attention. He sneers. "Really? And how many times have you run this dungeon today? We''ve already used up all three of our Normal and Hard Mode runs." Oozing self-confidence, I answer, "Zero!" The other four stare at me nkly. Kane frowns. "And yet you think you can keep up with us on Nightmare?" I tilt my head in confusion. "Of course?" Nightfury grinds his teeth. "Just how good do you think you are?" "Mmm, better than everyone here." "Huuuuh?" Nightfury yells. "Who do you think you are?" Shadeyer res at me. "Think you can just look at us and know our levels?" "Literally yes," I say. "You sonuva" "Chill out, everyone," Kane says, grabbing Nightfury before he can try to deck me. "Wait! I know this asshole!" Shadeyer says, triumphant. "It''s Boxers Bro!" My smirk freezes on my face. What. "What?" Lis asks. "I''ve been checking forums for D''Raven info. I knew I recognized this idiot. It''s Boxers Bro!" Shadeyer pulls up a video posted by someone named Taliesin. It starts off with a close-up of my face as I exit the Teleportation Portal, but then the video slowly zooms out and pans down...to the godsforsaken pink boxers. Gods fucking damnit. Lis and Shadeyerugh their asses off, and I can''t even me them. They turn off the video before Video Me disarms those two morons or tricks the thief intomitting suicide by spontaneousbustion. I re-cement mymitment to strangling the boxers designer at some point. "So, are we running this dungeon, or not?" I ask. "Most of the other parties have already entered." It''s true. The side of the hill we''re on is almost empty. "You''re still gonna stand there and pretend you''re a hotshot?" Shadeyer jeers. I ignore him. "If you want me to carry you all, the Party Leader should set the dungeon to Equal Distribution for EXP and loot." Nightfury is so red by now, I can''t tell the difference between his skin and his scales anymore. "Fuck that! You wanna leech, go find some other suckers." Shadeyer nods firmly. Lis rolls his eyes. "Whatever, I just wanna run this dungeon and move on. Not like we''re going to clear it anyway. We didn''t even clear Hard Mode." "Shut up!" Nightfury snaps. "See, you need me." I smile. "Like hell" "We need you to fill our party," Kane interjects before Nightfury can yell again, "but I''m setting the dungeon to Contribution. We find this way more fair, don''t you think?" I shrug. "Sure, if you don''t want any EXP..." I ept the official Party Invite and head toward the entrance. Lis walks with me, smiling and unconcerned, and strikes up a convo about how awesome VR is. I decide to share any sweet loot for healers with him. "I''m going to kill him," Nightfury growls under this breath behind me. I can practically feel his eyes burning into the back of my skull. Kane whispers back, "There''s no PvP in the realm yet, you know that." "Fuck it, I hate him. We''re doing Nightmare Mode. We can probably MPK him." "Shouldn''t be too hard. He can''t have many skills. D''Raven''s too damn hard, with the skill proficiency requirements," Shadeyer grumbles. Kane sighs. "I won''t stop you. But don''t ruin our whole run just because you''re feeling petty." I chuckle to myself. Obviously, my Perception stat is high enough for me to hear the entire whispered conversation. So, they want to MPK me, huh? (Monster yer Kill: basically, it''s when you lure a monster to attack and kill another yer.) This should be fun. ----- | Inside the Dolmen Dungeon | A beautiful Valkyrie stabs a zombie in the eye and explodes his head. "But why did he run?" she asks, brow wrinkled in confusion. A petite Draegkyn named Jade Thorn leaps into the air to behead two undead monsters. "Maybe he waste for an appointment." "Maybe he really had to pee," a young Pu`ca offers, as he shapeshifts into a horned cat. "That''s not a feature of the game," Nanuk, a stern Angakoq Shaman, says. "And we wouldn''t even be having this conversation if you''d arrived on time or kept your party chat open." "My bad, big bro!" the Pu`ca apologizes. "But I was trying to track this super cool yer! He was just too fast." "So you''ve said," Nanuk replies tly. He freezes two zombies so his little brother can slice them up easier. "Why do you even care about that moron, Kara?" an Anubis Warrior named Rahotep asks in a voice he would assure you is not whining. The Valkyrie, Kara, bites her lip and frowns. "I''m not sure." Jade grins. "Maybe you''re in luuurve." Kara thrusts her spear through three zombies at once. "Maybe I''ll impale you." "Just kidding!" Jade assures her before sliding into the middle of three monsters. "There''s just something about him. He seemed so familiar, somehow..." "You probably knew him in a past life," Jade says. As a shiver travels down Kara''s spine, she wonders why that insane idea seems so right. Chapter 37: Your Boy, Leeroy Jenkins Chapter 37: Your Boy, Leeroy Jenkins In a dark dungeon crypt walled in by cold stone and dry bone, where even the air feels brittle and dusty as death, sounds of life can be heard. Life sounds annoyed. "What the hell is going on?!" "No friggin'' way!" "Lis, what''s the count?!" Lis pulls up the DPS and Kill Streak report. Since he''s ying a support role, but the only person still fighting never seems to need support, he has the leisure time to check. "Shadeyer 8, Nightfury 14, Kane 15." "What about HIM?!" Shadeyer and Nightfury yell in unison, pointing to the streaking blur that is the other D''Raven on their team. "Erebus...87. Nope, 89." Two screaming skeleton heads fly toward them, exploding into blue opal dust right before hitting the men. "What the actual fuck?!" Nightfury screams. "Fuckin'' A," Lis grins. "How''s he one-hit killing mid-tier mobs?" Kane asks, more confused than anything else. "How''s he even attracting so many damn mobs at once?" Shadeyer wails. "LEEROY JENKINS!!" Erebus yells. --- Taunt. It''s one of the Skills I used often enough on my Quest of Daring to acquire the Basic Level. In fact, between ''The Natural'' title boost (new skills used 10x at 90% SkillPro auto-upgrade) and the taunting trash talk I used against the Boss Oni, my Taunt''s MAXed out. At this level, the game lets you program your own personal Taunt. Some people roar, some people have a catchphrase; this one dude I knew in the beta used a verse from Bohemian Rhapsody. It was honestly pretty sweet hearing: -- I see a little silhouetto of a man, Scaramouche, Scaramouche, will you do the Fandango? Thunderbolt and lightning, Very, very frightening me -- during Boss fights, mostly because a) the dude had some pipes on him, and b) didn''t matter how many times we heard that Taunt, every other yer would add the "Galileo (Galileo)"s afterward, and the overall DPS would increase for a hot minute while everybody was high on the good vibes. As a joke, I went a different route in the beta, and ended up discovering an Easter Egg. Turns out, if you set "Leeroy Jenkins" as your Taunt, you get aggro-pulling bonuses. Granted, your programmed Taunt is unalterable unless you go on this annoying knight''s quest, so it''s a bold choice tomit to screaming Leeroy Jenkins like a half-baked moron, but in my opinion, absolutely worth it: [Taunt (MAX): The trash talk skill. Allows you to immediately draw Aggro from enemies within 15 meters and maintain Aggro for 8 seconds. Cooldown: 2 Minutes Lee-Roy Jenkins Bonus: Double Range for Aggro Draw, +2 Seconds Aggro Maintain] Bit of a double-edged sword, since 30 meters is really freaking far in cramped dungeons, and it''s easy to grab more mobs than you''d nned. But for a guy like me, who gets bonuses for fighting multiple enemies (Thank you, Aku), it''s a dreame true. As long as I Taunt from the middle of the crypt, I can pull Aggro from almost every mob in the room. Then it''s as easy as letting the rest of the party work together to safely kill the outer ring of mobs (since the monsters won''t attack them back while I hold the Aggro), while I go fucking ape on the rest of the mobs from the center of the horde. The monster spawn rate is usually random, but with the winds of Fickle Fortune blowing, I''m fairly certain we''ve hit 100% possible mobs so far. And in Nightmare Mode, that''s a lot of mobs. I can''t decide if that''s supposed to be good or bad luck, but it''s great for me, regardless. As I think it, another warm wind of fortune blows through the dungeon catbs, carrying the sound of wooden chimes and the scent of ck licorice. "Shit! Something''sing!" Kane warns everyone. rmed, Nightfury swings his oilmp around, searching for trouble. Every time the glow from the light passes by me, I have to bite my lip to keep a straight face. Ten kinds of loud and proud, he''d bragged about scoring two jars of longsting oil from a heated yer auction. For the low, low price of 18 silvers. I squeeze the satisfying heft of my coin bag to keep myself from literally rolling on the floorughing. "Stay close! Eyes peeled!" Kane orders. The others rush to huddle together, back to back. They''ve experienced the strange gusts of Fickle Fortune a couple times now, though they have no idea I''m inadvertently causing it. The first time, we were in a narrow passageway, and after the breeze blew through, every skeleton in the walls of the catb burst forth at the same time. Only the +15% Defense buff Zen''s providing my lower-leveled teammates kept them alive long enough to gulp health potions while I Taunted all 20 undead mobs. Since the passage was only wide enough for two mobs to stand abreast, it was cake to kill them all. The second time, the wind blew the dust off a hidden door. It led to a tomb of Level 12 rotting zombies and a chest filled with 100 silver coins. Due to the Contribution breakdown and the level suppression the rest of the party suffered under, I walked away with 92 of them. It should have been 98, but I was feeling generous. This time, the winds of fortune carry out the ambient dungeon music and leave only heavy, stifling silence. Fog seeps up through the stone floor, and the temperature drops until the other guys without cold resistance can see their breaths in the air. Silence hangs in the still air for one long moment. Two. Three. Then a bone-chilling shriek fills the cavernous space, and the silence is splintered. My four party members pale and huddle even closer together. I want to cheer. I mean, yeah, the echoing shriek is totally horrifying, and my heart''s pounding, but I couldn''t be more jazzed. I know what''sing! "Erebus, watch out!" Lis calls. I''m touched. What a good dude. "Forget the asshole!" Nightfury growls. Theeeere''s more what I''m used to. Another horrible scream fills the crypt, and a hunched figure materializes in the dense fog. "Fuck me!" Nightfury yelps and jolts back. He bumps into Kane, and the oilmp slips from his fingers. Flickering light reflects off the shattering ss, illuminating the dumbstruck expression on Nightfury''s face, and the matching horror of the other three. Then the light''s extinguished, leaving only inky ckness and the faint deathly glow of the fog. "EEEEEEEYAAAAAHH!!!" "AAAHHHHH!!!" "Pfft!" I can''t help cracking up a little. The four guys'' screams perfectly harmonize with the monstrous shrieks reverberating from every direction. Because Nightfury isn''t wrong, and I am in fact an asshole, I feel like I have to recreate this if possible. Thanks to the creepy fog glow, my Nightvision is more than enough to deal with this gloom. And since the other guys'' screaming drew the monster''s attention, it''s nothing to sneak behind the creature, careful to remain outside its Aggro radius, as it lurches nearer to the huddled group. They can''t hear its near-silent steps over their intermittent yelps and general hyperventting, so they back up all the way against the wall without realizing how close the monster is. ''Just a little more,'' I think, and then the creature takes one final step, opens its mouth to release another hair-raising scream, and I make my move. I leap in front of the monster, duck low, raise one hand directly under its chin, and think, ''Lux!'' A single beam shoots out of my palm like a shlight, and illuminates the monster''s face with that creepy shadowy glow popr to all kids at summer camp who tell scary stories in the dark. Long gray-white hair, sunken cheeks, dark pits filled with fog where eyes should be, hooked nose, lips cracked and scabbed, and a ck cavernous mouth, open impossibly wide, emitting haunting cries of death. [BANSHEE - Harbinger of Death] [Level 14 - HP 25,000/25,000] "AAAHHHHH!!!" the demihumans yell. "EEEYAAHHH!!!" the Banshee screams. "BAHAHAHAHA!" Iugh. Chapter 38: How to Snag a Snaggle-Tooth Chapter 38: How to Snag a Snaggle-Tooth I kick ass to a chorus of screams. Aku''s battle cry joins the melody of Banshee shrieks to harmonize with the cries of blind boys shitting bricks. Exultant, I be a blur of attacks,nding blow after blow on the Banshee. To the poor guys blind against the wall, my battle looks especially insane. The Banshee''s sensitive to changes in light, so I intersperse ultrabright Lux bursts to interrupt her eye-beam attacks. The rest of the time, my party can only see the silver-white streaks left behind as Zen slices the air, the violet lightning that shoots out of the Banshee''s wlike fingers, and the ever-shifting fog as I race around the room. To their credit, my party sort of tries to help, in a sad, pathetic kind of way. Kane and Shadeyer hack at the air every time they think the Banshee''s near (they are literally never right, but it''s cute they''re trying), while Nightfury unleashes ranged attacks that sometimesnd in the vicinity of our ongoing battle. He''s clearly extrapting our positions from the various lights of our attacks, which would be clever, except he only ever hits me. I tsk. "Nightfury, with aim like that, I pity your mother. How often does she have to clean piss off the toilet seat and walls of your basement bathroom?" "Eat shit!" Kaboom! If friendly fire were a feature of Viren''s Refuge, that would have been a headshot. Aw, Nightfury''s improved! "How can I help?" Lis asks. "Make Nightfury stop helping," I reply. "Right-o," Lis says. I Taunt the Banshee and have her chase me to the opposite side of the crypt, out of range of Nightfury the Deranged Draegkyn. This Banshee''s the first opponent strong enough for me to really test out the Skills I acquired during the Quest of Daring. They''re a hodge-podge of my fave go-tos from the beta, since there were only enough enemies to gain a limited number. I focused on the skills I couldplete with perfect SkillPro even with my rtively low stats, and a few skills that are more difficult to obtain in-game. I flow from Skill to Skill by incorporating non-skill dual de moves and my own personal brand of mixed martial arts. The system won''t give me official Combo bonuses, but my stamina depletion rate slows when my transitions are particrly fluid, so I keep an eye on my green SP bar as I experiment, searching for the most efficient blend of Skill and non-skill attacks. I don''t let my experimentation distract me from my primary goal, however: obtaining a Banshee tooth. As if Zen''aku can feel this monster holds one of the keys to their upgrade, my des thrum with anticipation as I spin and slice away. I count five teeth protruding from the Banshee''s putrid gums. I try a few different attacks in an effort to dislodge one: first, a Dual Thrust into her gaping mouth, then when that fails, a Horizontal Cross sh. I end up slicing her mouth into a bleeding Joker-style forced smile, which only serves to make her more nightmarish. Shadeyer''s high-pitched screech when Lux lights her face up afterward makes me feel it wasn''t entirely a wasted effort, though. Finally, when her HP nears the Red Zone, I get a little desperate. I''m fairly certain she won''t drop a tooth upon death; the only way to snag one is to dislodge it before killing her. In a move three parts juvenile desperation, one part genius inspiration, Iunch Fangbite, a downward stab with both des that leaves fang-like puncture wounds, into the Banshee''s shoulders. Next, I nt my feet, grab the embedded des, lean back, and use all my strength to fling myself forward. Then I headbutt the Banshee in the face. In the movies, headbutts like that always knock a tooth loose, and the bad guy spits it out like a badass. When I do it, the loose tooth ends up lodged in my forehead. Ow. Hitting the Banshee in one of her nasty snaggle teeth counts as a double critical hit. Her HP falls below 10% as I pull Zen''aku free. With a final haunting shriek of rage and pain, the Banshee morphs into fog and disappears. The rest of the fog dissipates as well, and the dungeon music returns to normal. Oh shit. Ipletely forgot. I never ran into a Hidden Boss while running this dungeon in the beta. The Banshee is the mini-boss before the Final Boss of the Dolmen Dungeon; if you stumble across a Hidden Boss first, however, she''ll appear as a herald for him, too, but you won''t be able to kill her until she pops up again at the end. With a fevered cry of fury, Aku emits a wave of unfulfilled bloodlust so intense it''s visible as a ck thundercloud shot through with crimson lightning. The pulsing cloud rushes out in every direction, knocking my party members to the floor and filling the entire dungeon''s catbs. Slowly, the cloud sinks to the floor, leaving a ck and electric red swirling miasma at ankle-height. The second the Banshee reappears, the miasma will alert Aku so vengeance can be wrought. I quickly open my Weapons Inventory to double-check the exact wording of Aku''s relevant Curse: || If opponent escapes from Combat, Aku will remember opponent''s energy signature. Aku will alert you when that opponent once again returns to range; if you fail to kill opponent by the third time the escaped opponentes into range, you will die instead. || Damn, I''m only on the first dungeon of the game, and I''ve already brushed up against the edges of one of Zen''aku''s Curses. It''s going to be a long Nine Realms, my dudes. As the system announces the arrival of the Hidden Boss, [ANKOU - Soul Collector] [Level 15 - HP 40,000/40,000] I''m calmed by one reassuring thought: At least I won''t fall to Aku''s Curse this time around. It''s not like my Fickle Fortune can conjure two more Hidden Bosses in the same Dungeon. Chapter 39: OG DungeonMaster Chapter 39: OG DungeonMaster The Hidden Boss is an ugly mofo. Ankou the Soul Collector. He''s even taller than the Oni no Gekido, like maybe two giraffes high? Is that a weird point of reference? Whatever, it works. Ankou''s a haggard-looking dude, with scraggly white hair and paper-thin skin stretched so tightly across his bones, he''s little more than a skeleton. He looks as exhausted as midterms feel. Like the barely-living embodiment of a week of all-nighters, worsened by the soul-crushing knowledge that none of it matters because you''re definitely going to fail and why did you think college was a good idea anyway; clearly your 8th grade math teacher was right and you''re never going to amount to anything. (If you empathize with this descriptive reference, my condolences.) "Is this a friggin'' Hidden Boss?!" Shadeyer yells. "Gee, what gave it away?" I think. "The shing Notification [You have Triggered a HIDDEN BOSS!], perhaps?" Shadeyer hisses in embarrassed fury. "Go to hell!" Whoops. Was that out loud? I guess the truth will not be silenced. Snark speaks on its own frequency. As I pry the gnarly tooth from my forehead and store it, I finish inspecting Ankou, and for a moment, I admit I consider pulling a Gandalf (v Balrog). I immediately discard the idea, though, because I may be an asshole, but I''m not a dick. (To be clear, I don''t me old G for dicking over his teammates. Check it. Gandalf''s a god, right? ying with a party half total noob. He''s carrying them through the Main Storyline Quest, letting them leech across maps way over their Levels, until the noobs bitch out (looking at you, mountain pass) and make him carry them through a dungeon so rough it''s practically end-game content. Then the Balroges, and our man can''t take it anymore. He tells them all to run so he won''t have to share EXP with the leechers making up 4/9 of his party. Bastard''s bold, though; Gandalf don''t give a fuuuck, showing up for the next Boss Raid in primo new gear, all leveled up, like "Wut." Tolkien is the OG DungeonMaster.) -- "Lux." My warm yellow glow illuminates my party members and a third of the crypt. "Dude, where did you learn this skill?" Lis asks. "It''s so much more convenient thannterns." Nightfury seethes a little, grinding his teeth, and I feel at peace. "It''s called Lux. I scored it in my Foundation Vige. It''s a base skill for everyone, though, so I''m sure there''s another way to get it somewhere in this Realm. Shouldn''t be long before someone figures it out and posts a walk-through." I could teach them Nox, since I''m the creator of that Skill, but not until they learn its base skill Lux, and that one, I can''t teach. "What''s the range?" Kane asks. I don''t actually know, so I test it, visualizing the light reaching as far as possible. It doesn''t go too much farther, but Hidden Boss Ankou''s now mostly visible. Lis'' jaw drops. "Jeebus, how big is this guy?" "About two giraffes tall," I offer helpfully. "Damn, that''s like 12 meters," Kane says, looking worried. Shadeyer huffs. "His reach is going to be ridiculous. Melee''s gonna be tough." Lis raises his eyebrows. "Uh, so, we''re just not going toment on the whole using giraffes as a reference point thing?" "Lis and I will have to focus on our ranged attacks to try to buy openings for the closebat fighters," Nightfury says, making a fist. "I''m more concerned with how Kane knew exactly how many meters tall two giraffes were," I say, half-bemused, half-impressed. "Anyone know Ankou''s special moves?" Kane asks. Nightfury frowns. "I can''t remember the specifics, but I feel like there was something about random aggro-switching." Brow furrowed, Shadeyer swipes furiously. "Damn. I can''t open the forums." Kane nods."Unless you register a Live-Stream beforehand, there are no online capabilities during dungeon raids." "We''re cool, no need for a guide," I say, drawing Zen''aku. Kane looks hopeful. "You know this Boss?" "Nope." "You''ve guessed his moves somehow?" Kane tries again. "Not really." "You''ve scored a sweet magic scroll or bomb or something?" "Nuh-uh." "Then why with the false confidence, moron?" Shadeyer snaps. "This is Nightmare Mode, remember?" Kane reminds me. I just stare back nkly, not sure what that has to do with anything. "He''s going to have some crazy skills and higher defense and offense than usual." "Uh huh...?" Kane sighs, and the Angry Idiot Twins grit their teeth. Chuckling, Lis ps my shoulder. "Erebus, my man, you are a riot." I shoot him a questioning look that probably looks more like an annoyed re, but he justughs again. "You look like you have no idea why we''d be worried about a Hidden Boss we know nothing about, triple our Level and rocking Nightmare bonuses." "I mean, I guess that could be worrisome?" I ede. "But you have me, so it''ll be fine." Lisughs again, and Kane looks at me like I''m crazy. "Fine, then show us these mad skills," Shadeyer taunts. "Okay," I say. "I hope he chokes on his ego," Nightfury snarls. "That was a higher-level insult than I expected from you," I marvel. "Unfortunately, I feel the need to lower the bar and retort with a hearty, ''I hope you choke on Shadeyer''s dick!''" "Aw, not mine? I bet mine''s actually big enough to be a choking hazard," Lis whines. "You shouldn''t risk it. Nightcalm looks like he gives angry head. That''s a guy who uses teeth." Lis sucks in a breath and unconsciously lowers his hands. "Ouch." "If we could perhaps attack the Boss now..." Kane interjects. "Sure thing," I say. Then I take off to wreck some shit. Before Ankou can even register I''ve entered his aggro range, I Chakra Burst his ass. Gahhh, that seven-strikebo is so damn satisfying. "Holy shit," Lis says. "Seriously, who the fuck is this guy?" Shadeyer asks nobody in particr. I interrupt a lumbering punch attack with a Whistling Starfall headshot, then immediately hit him again with the Comet Burst explosive attack. He stumbles and lets out a ghostly scream-type roar that sounds like angry wind and death and a little like a t-rex for some reason. Shrugging off the weird sfx choice, I mber up the Boss like a skeleton tree and use two-ded Cutthroat, then kick off his head to leap out of the way of his poison gas attack. "Could you even pull a move like that by the end of the beta?" Kane asks Nightfury. "..." Nightfury replies. At 80% HP, Ankou calls forth his minions, and a shit-ton of spectral Adds join the fray. I kill three of the ghosts andnd another 5% damage on Ankou before I realize my party is still just staring at me. "You can all start attacking now, you know," I remind them. "How do you want us to help?" Lis asks. "Uh. Ranged attackers stay as far back as possible so you won''t get hit by his swinging attacks. Melee, your AGIs are low, so if you see an opening, you cannd a single skill on the Boss at a time, but mostly, focus on the ghost horde." "That''s it?" I stare, confused. "What more did you want?" Lis shrugs. "I dunno. Like some genius strategy or n or something." "But you wouldn''t be able to follow a strategy like that? You couldn''t even clear Hard Mode, right?" All four of them flinch and groan, pierced through the heart by ultimate-damage Hard Truth Arrows. I''m too busy beating a Boss single-handedly to notice. Then I Leeroy Jenkins the Adds, so Shadeyer and Kane can take them out for a few seconds without fearing counter-attacks. I''m dodging ghosts on all sides, and slicing up Ankou as best I can, smiling like a madman amidst the chaos. I''m way too busy to notice the way the other four stare at my silver-and-ck-eyed face. In that moment, four peoplee to four firm conclusions. One resolves to be a more useful yer, who never needs to ask how to help. One resolves to get strong enough to beat me. One resolves to get strong enough to be me. And one resolves to murder me in my sleep. Chapter 40: Reaping Dumbasses Chapter 40: Reaping Dumbasses When Kane dies, I maintain it''s not my fault. No, but seriously, I told him one hit tops against the Boss, and only when he was sure he had an opening. He''s the dumbass who tries to pull off a series of attacks right before Ankou drops below the 10% HP mark. Trying to score the Contribution Bonus for knocking the Boss into the Red Zone, no doubt. Can''t say I me him; I was nning on doing that myself. Difference is, I''m a total badass, and Kane is scraping adequate. In our dearly departed Party Leader''s defense, he might have pulled it off if it had been a different Boss, or if my Fickle Fortune hadn''t nerfed my ranged attack ability. (AGI, STR, and personal skill are the major factors behind whether or not a ranged attacknds, but technically, Luck factors in, too. It''s only supposed to factor in when an attack is aimed at the very edge of the weapon''s or skill''s range, but my Fickle Fortune is clearly overriding that limitation. I''m missing one in four shots with my throwing dart, which is beyond ridiculous; but at the same time, no matter how I aim, the other three shots always end up headshots.) Unfortunately for Kane, he pays a steep price for the meager Contribution Bonus. Turns out Nightfury remembered almost right when he mentioned the Boss might randomly aggro switch. But it''s not totally random; whoevernds the damage that sends Ankou into the Red Zone automatically pulls the Boss''s aggro. Whoops. To add insult to injury, it''s not even Ankou''s attack that kills poor Kane. In a rare show of skill, Nightfurynds a triple head-shot on the Boss that interrupts hisbo attack, and Kane manages to roll away in the opening... Right into one of the trash mobs he''d ignored in favor of attacking the Boss. Kane only has enough time to look pitifully mortified before he''s stabbed by a ghost wearing a kilt. Ganked by a ghoul mob. That stings, bro. I''d seen the ending and hurled Whistling Starfall at the ghoul before Kane died, but the throwing dart misses by a mile. Then I''m penalized with the 5-second dy; by the time I can try again, Kane is already so much stardust. Sucks to be him, but I gots me a Boss to kill, and his noble-yet-embarrassing sacrifice left me a glorious opening. For the first time the entire fight, I don''t hold Ankou''s aggro, so he''s not looking at me. He''s actually gliding towards Nightfury since the Draegkyn''s triple-arrow skill was thest attack thatnded after the aggro-switch. I wait for the perfect moment; right as the Boss raises his skinny grim reaper-style scythe to let loose on Nightfury, I wall-run up hisnky body, then leap off to Fangbite both sides of his skinny bone-wrist. Another wind-ghost-dinosaur scream fills the chamber, followed by the beautiful tter of a Boss scythe falling to the stone floor. Mission: Disarm,plete! "Distract him!" I yell as I dive to the floor. I grab the scythe and Sprint to the opposite side of the crypt at maximum speed. I open my Weapons tab and scroll to Zen''aku''s Upgrade option. [Upgrade Material Detected: Weapon of an Enemy Disarmed in Combat. Do you wish to store {Ankou Soul Scythe} as an Upgrade Material? Warning: Once stored as Upgrade Material, items and weapons can no longer be used as anything but raw materials.] I hurriedly click [YES] and sigh in relief when the scythe disappears from my hands and reappears as a tiny image in the Upgrade Checklist. "Erebus! He''sing!" Lis warns me as the Bosses shrieking in my direction. Without looking, I toss Whistling Starfall in the Ankou''s general direction and head back toward my party. I hear the distinctive explosion from a headshot Comet Burst and grin. When I''m close enough, I whirl around to face the Boss. I yell at Shadeyer to finish dicing up the Adds, wait for the ranged attackers to snag me an opening, and when a hit from Lis stuns Ankou for a second, I make short work of the Soul Collector''s final HP. The victory chime makes me cheer, and I turn to send props to the ranged fighters, only to find a snarling Nightfury all up in my face. "You did that on purpose didn''t you?" he growls. "Of course," I answer automatically. I have no idea what he''s talking about, but it''s clear answering in the affirmative will further upset Nightfury, and at this point, it''s instinctual. The way his nose res as he dramatically gasps is as hrious as I could have hoped. "You admit it!" "Was it a secret?" "You douche!" He gears up to punch me, but the PvP zones haven''t opened in the game yet, and if he actuallynds a hit, the system might chuck him from the dungeon. I jump back, pping my wings and raising my hands in the universal gesture of ''Calm the fuck down, bro.'' With the voice I use on Alopix when he''s scared of a thunderstorm, I say, "Find your calm, NightZzz! We''re already down to four, and don''t know if you''ve noticed, but this dungeon is a bitch and a half. We''re going to need everybody we have left to clear this run." If anything, this only makes him look crazier. "Whose fault is that?" I blink. "Huh?" "Don''t y dumb, asshole! You just admitted you let Kane die on purpose!" Ohhhh. He runs at me, and I easily sidestep. "Dude, seriously, chill. I was messing with you. I didn''t let the idiot die on purpose." Nightfury scoffs, disbelieving. "I''ve seen yound a perfect headshot while facing another direction, and yet, when Kane needed you, you miraculously miss that badly? Right." "Hate to break it to you, but yes." I sigh. I don''t want to exin the whole Fickle Fortune thing, since that could leave me vulnerable and I have trust issues. But I can kinda see where Nightfury''sing from, so I clue him in a little. "I''m under a curse-ish thing at the moment. Affects ranged attacks...among other things," I mumble thest bit under my breath. "Yeah, right." Nightfury rolls his eyes. "Like I believe that! You just wanted Kane to die!" Now I''m annoyed. "Why would I want that?" "Because you wanted to be Party Leader! Kane was getting bonus EXP for being party leader, no matter how much you contributed, and he''d selected the option for him to receive all the Boss''s Spoils of War. You just wanted to steal our loot!" "Wait, what?" I ask, majorly confused. "So you''re saying you didn''t know that when a Party Leader dies during a dungeon raid, the person with the highest Contribution Rating bes de facto Party Leader." Nope, did not know that. Something about my dumbfounded expression must make an impression, because Lis busts outughing. "I don''t think he knew." Now it''s Nightfury''s turn to look confused. "How could he not know?" I give him a t stare. "Do I strike you as a team yer, NightcalmZzz?" Nightfury takes a deep breath. "Point taken." "So you were never a Party Leader during the beta?" Shadeyer asks, surprised. I frown. "What makes you think I was in the beta?" The other three shoot me with identical "Seriously?" expressions. "Contrary to your obvious opinion of us, we aren''t utter morons," Nightfury says. I am legitimately surprised by this news. It must show on my face because Lisughs self-deprecatingly, Shadeyer flushes in embarrassed anger, and Nightfury looks like he wants to deck me again, system rules be damned. "Kidding, kidding! I know you aren''t utter morons!" Just mostly morons, I finish in my head. "And no, I was never a Party Leader. I just bopped around doing my own thing, joining up with already-established groups whenever I felt like doing a raid." Curious, I open my Status Window. I ignore the others while Lis tries to calm Nightfury down and Shadeyer starts muttering about how he''s a goddamn chemical engineer IRL, he''s no moron, yadda yadda. First, I notice that there really is a cool little icon next to my name that marks me as Party Leader. Then, when I open my Battle Log, I also find all of Ankou''s loot. Today is a good day. "If you didn''t know, you shouldn''t mind making one of us Party Leader then," Nightfury says, finally calm again. "Not a chance in hell!" I say cheerfully. So much for calm. "You sonuvayou really do want to steal our loot, don''t you?!" "I''m not going to steal anything." "Fine. Then you''re going to keep it Contribution? You''re not going to change the settings so that the Party Leader gets all the loot, even from non-Boss mobs?" I tilt my head, expression nk. "...Is there a difference?" Nightfury and Shadeyer visibly nch. Lis ps his chest like he''s been shot, but he''s still lightly chuckling. "It only hurts because it''s so very true." "I almost want to ask how much loot he''s acquired in the run so far, but I think it''ll depress me so much I may never want to y again," Shadeyer says sadly. Shrugging, I look back at my Spoils of War. I keep a single-use Skeleton Key that says it can be used to be open any lock in the gameI''ll be testing that bold im next Realmand the Ankou Lantern. I don''t need it, but it''s still early enough I might be able to find a sucker willing to buy it for dungeon raids. I also equip the Death Shroud robe since I can''t wear my Leather Cuirass yet. It has great defense, double against Undead NPCs, and it adds +5 STR, +3 INT. Mostly, though, I want to see if I can use itter to upgrade my Damaged Tunic. I split up the Wraith Remnants, the silvers, and the rest of the raw materials and pass them to everyone. "I''m giving you extra," I say to Nightfury, "so you can share with Kane when we finish the Dungeon." He looks dumbfounded. "You''re actually sharing the loot?" "Well. Yeah," I say. "Even with Kane?" Shadeyer asks. "He was an idiot, for sure, but his fuck-up helped me disarm Ankou, so of course I''ll make sure he gets his dues," I answer. I pass Nightfury a jagged dagger drop. "Pass that to him, too, would you?" Nightfury''s befuddled face makes everything that''s happened today so very worth it. He doesn''t seem capable of speech, so I ignore him and pass Lis a reliquary imbued with a healing spell. "Dude, sweet! Thanks!" Lis says, pounding my fist. "No worries. You probably can''t equip it yet, but you should be able to soon." "If I could raise my Intelligence, I could equip it way early. Know any shortcuts to raising INT?" Lis asks. "There''s a few, actually." I tell him about fae quests that give items with Intelligence bonuses, though I warn him the fae are tricky bastards, so he''ll want to stay on his toes. During the beta, I lost my in-game equivalent to a firstborn child to a particrly nasty fae: I had to give him my first Blue-Tier weapon. I may have cried. But like. Manly crying. There''s nothing else from the Boss, so Shadeyer and Nightfury lose out this round, but that''s just the way of things sometimes. When the wooden chimes and ck licorice scent sweep through the crypt on the back of a warm summer breeze, I figure it won''t be long before everyone''s rolling in loot, anyway. ---------- | Vir-Tech Labs | An exhausted figure scribbles on a boardbeled {PATCH THESE HOLES}; next to it is a second whiteboardbeled {F**K THESE TROLLS}. "For crying out loud, Visby, how many is that now?" a man in thick sses asks. The exhausted man Visby sighs. "Sixteen." "Shit. I''m never going to sleep again, am I?" A woman covered in Cheeto dust peeks over her monitor. "It''s not his fault. You realize thirteen of these are all because of one yer, right?" Thick-sses guy groans. "What the hell''s he getting up to? The game''s only been up a day!" Cheeto Dust Lady nods at the board. "My fave so far was when he found a loophole in the Safe Haven code. Made another yer kill himself by letting him steal a Cursed de." Theining thick-sses man looks like he doesn''t know whether tough or cry. If he does a little of both, no one holds it against him. It''s been a long day already, and it''s only barely begun. Visby points to histest scribble. "This time, it''s not entirely his doing. Somehow, he''s gotten the AI to reroute Field Boss monsters to show up as Hidden Bosses in the Dolmen Dungeon." "How the hell did he manage that?" "Mixture of bad luck and quoting a Murphy''s Law death knell." A scrawny intern covered in coffee stains frowns. "Did the idiot actually say something like, ''At least it can''t get worse than this,''?" "Essentially. You know even non-sentient AI can''t help but respond to such an obvious challenge." Cheetody pops another cheese-coated snack into her mouth. "No way our quasi-sentient AI would be able to ignore it." "I thought Boss Zhao Jianyu said it wasn''t sentience. That it was just special code we don''t know about," the intern says, worried and confused. "Ignore her. She''s just joking," Visby says. She looks at Visby, and her eyes say, "No, I''m not." He looks at her, and his eyes say, "Shut the fuck up, Stacey." She rolls her eyes and throws a Cheeto at him. He catches it in his mouth and munches it down. The intern is visibly impressed and forgets to be worried about the inevitable robot takeover. Grateful for the distractability of youth, Visby heads back to his station. Thick-sses man points to the second board. "Is this crazy yer one of our trolls?" Visby shakes his head as he sits in front his monitors. "No. Just a yer who likes to push the envelope, apparently. Not one of the corporate scumbags who''s here to fuck up the world." "Huh. I can''t decide if that''s a good thing or a bad thing." Visby raises an eyebrow in question. Thick-sses guy shrugs. "I mean, obviously it''s great he''s not actively trying to destroy everything we''ve worked for and dismantle society, but...isn''t it kind of terrifying to realize he''s causing this much chaos without even trying?" Chapter 41: Rude Nightfury is Rude Chapter 41: Rude Nightfury is Rude A thunderous rumble rolls through the dungeon, signaling a dark, disturbing change inbat music, and I suddenly understand how Simba must have felt in that gorge right before the wildebeest stampede. I yank Lis back behind me and sheathe Aku. I don''t know what''sing, so I can''t guarantee I can kill it. I do not need another way for Aku to Curse me today. I dim Lux and clutch Zen, mentally readying myself for whatever fresh hell my Fickle Fortune has in store for me. "Weapons ready!" I warn everyone. Then hell descends upon us, and I realize I could never have been ready for this. A secret door opens in the wall halfway between us and the tunnel that leads onward through the dungeon. The yawning doorway is wide enough for five mobs to enter at once, and yet, the monsters still swarm over and into each other, each vying to enter as quickly as possible. Their killing intent rises so thick in the air, even I find it hard to breathe. "Since when was Nightmare Mode so literal?" Lis asks, barely biting back a whimper as the crypt fills with deformed spectral beasts. I want to give him shit for being a coward, but these monsters are legit terrifying. [SLUAGH HORDE] [Level 10 - HP 600/600] Some are more humanoid, some are purer beast, but they all feature rotting flesh, too many razor sharp teeth that jut out through scabbed lips, and glowing foggy pits for eyes. Their mismatched animal characteristics only add to the horror: wicked curved beaks on some, monstrous snouts on others, horns, ws, tails, you name it, they''ve got it. ck smoke trails off them, further darkening the dungeon. There''s over a hundred of them. "Fuckfuckfuckfuck," Nightfury mutters in a voice halfway between curse and prayer. He''s holding up better than Shadeyer, however; the D''Raven looks a heartbeat away from pissing himself, regardless of whether you even can do that in virtual reality. "Hold yourself together, man. These creepy mofos got nothing on bloody dead baby hands, right?" I say, trying to snap him out of it. Shadeyer squeaks, and his dark blue wings shake. "Why''d you bring that up?" he wails. "I never wanted to think about that godsforsaken Quest of Daring again! What the hell is wrong with this game?!" "It''s mythology, my dude. Humans are what''s wrong. We''re the ones who came up with all this messed-up shit in the first ce; the devs are just adapting what''s already out there." While I''m answering, my mind''s racing to think of a n. It looks like the horde''s not attacking until we specifically draw their aggro, but the longer we wait, the more of them swarm to block our only exit. Individually, their HP is low, but these numbers are impossible. There''s only two AoE attacks between the four us, and the puny effects of Whistling Starfall are almost twice as good as Nightfury''s shitty explosive arrow attack. Plus, the rest of my party is facing serious level suppression. Definitely not enough tobat these odds. Bummer. Time to die, I guess. "What do we do?" Lis asks, piercing me with a wide-eyed, trusting stare. "Uh..." I reply, biting my lip. I turn to see matching expressions on Nightfury and Shadeyer''s faces. "Yeah, what''s the n?" Shadeyer asks. Nightfury grips his bow tight, his surly expression set in grim determination. Shit. They think I can get them out of this. ''ept the inevitability of our impending deaths,'' I think. "Fight our way to epic fucking victory!" I say. Shitshitshit. Lis cheers and Shadeyer looks a little less like he''s going to keel over. At least, he stops clutching his katana to his chest with both hands like it''s a damned teddy bear and lowers himself into a quasi-ready stance. I hear a light chime and realize Nightfury''s sent me a private chat. I open the interface low, down at my right hip, and type one-handed so Lis and Shadeyer don''t notice. --- Nightfury: how in the 9 hells do we survive this? Erebus: _()_/ Nightfury: shit Erebus: indeed! Nightfury: i hate u Erebus: don''t be that way. Erebus: what''s life w/o a little challenge, amiright? Nightfury: you''re the one challenged. in the fucking head Erebus: rude. Nightfury: we''re gonna die Erebus: for sure! horrible awful deaths Nightfury: fuck it. let''s go. Erebus: that''s the spirit! --- "All right, everyone, here''s the n" I begin, as if there''s actually a "n"ing. In actuality, I''m doing that thing where you start a sentence but you don''t know where it''s going, you just kinda hope it''ll figure it out for itself by the time you get to the end "and it''s a crazy n, but all the best ns are, so try to give it a little faith, okay?" Lis nods fervently. Hope and optimism have lit his facepletely. Boy is too freaking pure for this virtual world. Jeebus. Shadeyer nods as well, though less enthusiastically. "Um, sure, but, you haven''t actually told us the n?" Nightfury snorts. I rustle my wings and identally feather-p him in the face. "I''m just getting there, no worries," I assure him. "First, I''m going to rush ahead and pull aggro. Then once they''re all focused on me, I''ll hit the horde with my brightest Lux. Their eyes look simr to the Banshee''s, so that''ll probably disorient them for a hot second. That should give you three an opening to rush to the exit." "But then we''re stranding you!" Lis says, because he''s a gem. "Who cares?" Nightfury says, because he''s an ass. "Don''t worry about me," I say. "I have my own way to escape after you guys make it. Just make sure that when the Sluagh eventually notice you, you hit them with everything you''ve got. Focus on the ones most in the way of the tunnel. I''ll save my Leeroy Jenkins until you''re about to be overwhelmed, so the more mobs you can take out before I have to use my Taunt, the better." As I say it, I realize it''s not actually the worst n. Other than the part where I don''t have a fucking clue how I''m going to survive once I''ve pulled aggro from 100+ bloodthirsty mobs. But, like, other than that tiny detail, it''s solid. "So when" Nightfury starts to ask. "No time like the present!" I yell, and push off toward the monsters so fast, I leave an indent in the stones. Chapter 42: How I OP My Way Out of This One Chapter 42: How I OP My Way Out of This One "Holy shit, he''s really doing it," Nightfury says, jaw dropping in shock. "I think I''m in love," Lis says, awestruck. Shadeyer tsks. "I''m telling your wife." nching, Lis grabs Shadeyer''s arm. "You wouldn''t!" "HAHAHA" Shadeyerughs obnoxiously, then cuts himself off to answer in all seriousness, "Honestly, no. She''s terrifying." "She''s five feet tall," Nightfury rolls his eyes. "Five feet of pure terror." "She''s a kindergarten teacher." "That should be your first clue. No normal person could control twenty screaming five-year-olds." Nightfury throws a questioning nce at Lis and juts his thumb at Shadeyer. "What did she do to him?" "Convinced him to quit smoking and fed him kale." "Wow. What a menace." "LUX!" I scream, and brilliant white light illuminates the crypt, even farther and brighter than I''d managed earlier. Agonized screeches, high-pitched and grating to my super-sensory Perception, fill the dungeon as a hundred grisly Sluagh monsters cry out in pain from the sudden light. Wincing, I power through my ears bleeding and continue my kamikaze Sprint toward the mobs. I hurl Whistling Starfall, and luck''s on my side this time; the dartnds dead center in the midst of the macabre horde. I activate Comet Burst, and dozens of [-250] notifications light up the room. "I swear, if those dick-brained idiots didn''t take this chance to run..." I grumble to myself. I''m almost afraid to look. Prepared for the worst, I sneak a peek behind me, and IT''S A BLOODY MIRACLE; THE MORONS ARE ON THE MOVE! As my three remaining party members dash toward the exit, I begin to attack in earnest. I miss the increased damage output and speed bonuses from Aku, but Zen''s triple damage plus my other equipment buffs mean I''m still two- or three-hit killing mobs left and right. Crit hits practically one-hit kill the twisted, bloodthirsty spectral creatures. Unfortunately, my fickle fortune seems to havepletely nerfed my 8%-chance vambrace lightning counter and my 1%-chance Yokai Boot paralysis kicks. Lightning does double damage against undead creatures, too. Bummer. Oh well. Not like I had all that much luck in inducing my %-chance gear effects before Inded a Fickle Fortune anyway. I lunge forward with Zen and use the skill Parry to push back an axe-wielding boar-snout Sluagh with gnarly ram horns. A wolf-looking Sluagh swipes at me with his razor ws, so I flip forward to dodge,nd on my open hand, bend at the waist, and release a twisting tornado kick that pushes back all eight Sluagh currently swarming me. The ck smoke emanating from the beasts swirls around my twisting form, making me look as much a malevolent demon as any of the Sluagh. "Is he fighting or breakdancing?" Shadeyer asks in a voice I think is supposed to be a jeering taunt, except the effect is ruined because he also sounds impressed and a little like he wants to have my biracial babies. Ignoring the pleb, I push off the ground, p my wings to add air time, andunch a version of the two-handed sword skill Charybdis. Named for a literal Lady Whirlpool with Teeth from Greek Mythology, (think sandpit monster S from Return of the Jedi, but instead of sand, Charybdis is a giant ass Lady Whirlpool that devours entire ships for breakfast), the skill is a spinning strike that, if executed as an actual Skill, pulls in enemies to melee range, then slices them to bloody pieces. I don''t actually have the real version of the Skill, since I''m not huge into two-handed swordfighting, but these mindless mobs constantly swarm as close as possible, so I don''t need to pull anything in; just going through the skill''s motions deals plenty of damage. But no matter how badass my technique, the overwhelming numbers means I can''t avoid a few errant blows finding their mark against me. Hard as I try, my beautiful blue HP bar slowly but surely depletes all the way into the Yellow Zone. I might have had a chance of escaping unscathed if the Sluagh mobs weren''t so bloodthirsty, but these beasts are so focused on destroying me, they don''t act in their own best interests. Acting as one entity sharing a demented hivemind, they rush directly into my attacks, without a care for self-preservation, which actually makes it harder for me to y them without taking damage myself. I''m also constantly being bombarded by Willpower checks, and though my Fortitude is way high enough to counter these disgusting brutes, I think some of the system checks are slowing my response times. Worse, my dumbass teammates apparently haven''t worked on their willpower at all yet, even though the forums I surfed earlier confirmed that all the Foundation Viges had their own Quests of Daring to start off each yer''s adventures. They barely take out a dozen Sluagh between all three of them before they''re surrounded by their own mini-swarm, and with the Willpower Checks magnified by the creepy hivemind situation the Horde''s rocking, Lis and Shadeyer end up frozen by a Willpower Fail debuff. Nightfury''s Fortitude must be higher, since he avoids the freeze, but he can''t save our party on his own. Never bring a bow to a demon horde melee swarm, amiright? Sigh. Ranged fighter problems. "LEEROY JENKINS!" My dumbass Taunt echoes in the death chamber. Gods, 30 meters is a lot of damn meters. My super-charged Taunt easily pulls every one of the remaining 50 or so demons of the Sluagh Horde. Hooray. Now, to not die... With a deep breath, I push my brain to its utmost limits, and the S-grade nutrient solution once again delivers. I enter my version of the Zone, and my flow of Skill and non-skill sword forms bes infinitely more fluid. I slice and sh and spin and kick, and all around me glowing eyes re in rage. I giggle, ecstatic from a fight well-fought and the sadistic glee thates from pissing off foes. The monsters ahead of me bellow with ferocious roars that make even the stone walls tremble. The feral roars are a deep bass counter to the soprano death screeches of the stardust and ck smoke I''m leaving behind in the wake of my massacre. One especially savage mob ws up the back of his brethren to push off their heads and leap for me, gleaming talons extended to gouge out my eyes. I turn to face this flying threat, but another mob uses its long ws to lock des with Zen and slow me down. "Fuuuuck!" I yell. "RAAAWR!" the flying menace yells. *Thwack!* a sound effect states firmly. An arrow pierces the Sluagh directly through the eye, and the snarling mob falls into the throng of monsters below. Hot damn, Nightfury did something right. Well, butter my butt and call me a biscuit, I did not see thating. I push back against the mob locked with my sword, and as it stumbles, I stab it in the gut, then kick it off my sword and run toward my miraculously still-alive party, beckoning me from the crypt exit. I hurl Whistling Starfall and release another Comet Burst, then race directly into the explosion''s epicenter, where the path is clear! Hooray! But not sarcastically! I eke out one more burst of speed and The faint ck licorice smell is my only warning. Thebat music''s so loud, any hint of wooden chimes are lost, but my hyper-focused braintches onto that smell, even amidst the chaos raging around me. Something fickle this wayes. Chapter 43: Accidentally On Purpose Chapter 43: identally On Purpose My adrenaline and stress levels have started to spike every time I smell ck licorice, which is not a thing I''d ever considered particrly anxiety-worthy before this dungeon. I feel like a frat bro who was hazed with Jagermeister and now automatically hurls whenever he smells someone pouring Jagerbombs. I whip my head back and forth, looking for whatever crazy shit is about to hit now. Off by the exit, Nightfury guts a mob with the jagged dagger he''s holding onto for Kane. I''m looking around so wildly, I don''t notice the slimy intestines fling through the air and st in my path. I slip on the Sluagh innards in a perfect imitation of a cartoon idiot slipping on a banana peel. Arms pinwheeling, I slide into the wall with a m that leaves a person-print indent. Zen rams into a crack between two crumbling stones with all the force of my lightning-speed Sprint. *Ker-chink* *Hissssssss* Um. Why did it sound like my dagger pressed a hidden switch in the dpidated walls? The too-cheerful *Ding!* of a system notification fills me mortal dread. [Cave-In Triggered!] *Even-More-Cheerful DING!* [Hear that? It''s the sound of your impending doom! Best get a move on!] A seismic rumble tears through the crypt, and hunks of gray stone crash to the floor. Three Sluagh are immediately squashed into demon goo and burst into opalescent stardust. Fucking Fantastic. It''s a one-hit kill obstacle course. A countdown timer, bright orange and obnoxiously loud, lights up the top right of my vision. 10 seconds. Terrific. I yank Zen out of the crevice, spin around and behead a Sluagh, then kick off the wall to race toward the exit tunnel. Rocks and dirt are cascading all around me, battering the shrieking Sluagh monsters. I retract my wings to make myself as small a target as possible and start weaving in between the falling debris. A battle cry draws a tiny scrap of my attention toward the tunnel, where mobs are trying to escape and also kill Lis. I so do not have time to deal with saving other people right now. Buuut, I also don''t want to let any of these mobs make it to safety when I''ve gone through all the effort of identally triggering a doomsday event that could wipe them all out at once. "Leeroy Jenkins!" I Taunt one final time. A garish neon orange 7 blinks aggressively at me, and the remaining Sluagh creatures snarl and howl menacingly as they''re forced to turn back from the exit. Their murderous intent deepens, and the Willpower checks return with renewed fervor. Their bloodthirsty auras are so thick on the air, it feels syrupy humid and ufortably warm. For the next seven seconds, I dodge crashing boulders, shing ws, and hacking swings of rusty swords. I kick and Parry mobs into the paths of falling detritus, while at the same time leaping and diving into safe spaces for myself. The hack for surviving this death trap is zing my Lux light so the falling stones leave small shadows on the ground to show the targeted areas. It reminds me of old school N64 Ocarina of Time, where the desated mummy hand drops from the ceiling, and your only warning is the ominous change in music and the shadow that grows steadily bigger as the hand plummets to snatch you. (Honestly, after surviving that nightmare as a child, this scenario doesn''t seem so bad.) 1 second left before the final cave-in and everybody dies. Five gruesome monsters block my exit, and as they rush to devour me, Nightfury headshots the one in the middle. That makes two clutch ys in as many hours! It''s almost like he''s notpletely useless! "Move it, you moron!" he yells. Aw, guys, I think he likes me. As it stumbles forward, I jump; one footnds on the monster''s stooped back, and I kick off to dive through the tunnel door right as a giant ZERO lights up my vision. A gong sounds and rubble cascades behind me, filling the doorway I just barely made it through. The monsters directly on my tail are smashed to smithereens, leaving only one jerky w visible as a mob struggles to catch me even as its body is crushed. "WE''RE ALIVE! OH MY GOD, GUYS!" Lis dramatically falls to his knees and lifts his arms to the proverbial heavens. "What in the everloving fuck just happened?" Shadeyer''s voice is still high-pitched from stress, and cracks like he''s flirting with puberty. I gesture with Zen as I sheathe my trusty Cursed baby. "Triggered a hidden switch in the wall that caused a cave-in." Lis and Shadeyer gape. "Wow, did you do that on purpose?" Lis asks in an awed whisper. I blink. "...." "Yes." Nightfury flushes red. "Bullshit! You just fucking tripped!" "Nope. Totally nned," I say, straight-faced. "Wow," Lis repeats. Shadeyer nods to second the sentiment, eyes wide. Nightfury''s eyes bug out of his head, and I think he might be trembling with a mixture of rage and that special disappointment thates from realizing your friends are irredeemable idiots. I shrug. "Some people are blessed with a gift for strategy." Before Nightfury can curse me out or have a heart attack from rage, four iridescent spirits materialize. They''re glowy blue-gray; two seem to be ghosts of humans, and two are the ghosts of elven fae. Nightfury and Shadeyer whirl to face them, weapons drawn, looking all fierce. I just step forward and wave. "''Sup. You the souls we saved?" "Indeed, clever mortal," the taller fae says. "We havee to offer our sincere gratitude for your noble actions" h h h, turns out they''re the souls who were kidnapped by the Sluagh and by Ankou the Soul Collector, and now they''re free atst to move on to the nes of their true afterlife resting grounds. They have a whole programmed spiel that I really wish I could skip by repeatedly mashing A or an arrow key. Since I can''t, I settle for zoning out, asionally sighing, nodding when it seems appropriate (and like it might increase our rewards if I show some form of enthusiasm), and checking my Battle Log. I have a system notification that tells me all 120 Sluagh were defeated in battle, and as such the members of our party have received a [Perfect Genocide Bonus] of 50k EXP, on top of the 350 EXP (x2 for Nightmare Mode) received per Sluagh killed. Unfortunately for them, the individual 700 EXP per monster is split by Contribution, and the system has determined the Cave-In was my action, and the mobs were also under my Taunt at the time of their demises, so I''ve scored 67,900 of the possible 84,000 EXP avable. I figure they can''tin too much, though, since the 50k bonus alone''s enough to increase their levels multiple times. I''ve also received more Rusty ymore Swords, monster parts, and Wraith Remnants than any person could ever possibly need, but I''m obviously notining. Mostly I''m pumped because I also receive three vials of Fiendish Fog Essence, which seems to be the ck smoke that emanated from the Sluagh. I immediately put one into Upgrade Storage; I''m not sure Zen would appreciate the Fiendish Fog so much, so I figure I''ll see if there''s a Justice Fog equivalent or something before I make the upgrades. Finally, the long-winded rescued souls finish their tales of woe and gratitude, and we get down to the good stuff. Rewards. As a final thank you, each spirit provides a treasure chest that appears directly into each of our inventories. It''s clear from theirnguage that whatever is inside each chest is already pre-determined, based on yer Contribution and Luck. Naturally, it''s that second part that worries me. The faint tinge of ck licorice still hangs in my nostrils. The spirits leave with much triumphant Celtic music fanfare and pretty sparkly lights, and we get down to the important business: opening our loot. Before anyone can open their chest, however, Nightfury grumbles, "Wait a second, this is some bullshit." Lis frowns. "What are you talking about?" Nightfury juts his thumb in my direction and scowls. "This asshole''s gonna end up with all the best stuff just because his clumsy ass tripped and identally triggered a cave-in. He''s gonna get bonuses and shit, and it wasn''t like he even did anything except not die!" Lis looks at my stoic-smug face before returning to Nightfury''s cranky scowl. "I mean, wouldn''t you have died, though? Like, isn''t not dying kinda impressive?" "Shut the hell up. He just got lucky!" "Is it actually good luck to trigger a self-destruct while you''re still trapped inside, though?" Shadeyer asks. ''My question exactly, my dude,'' I think. "And, I mean, Erebus also killed like 50 mobs before he triggered the hidden switch so..." Lis adds, trailing off with a half-shrug. "Sonuva" "No, you know what! Nightfury''s right!" I interject quickly. "bi-What?" Nightfury asks, incredulous, turning to stare at me so fast I''m surprised he doesn''t get whish. "I''m right?" I nod, trying to school my features into a serious expression. "Yes, you''re absolutely right. It wouldn''t be fair to take extra bonuses just because my mad gamble with the entirely-on-purpose cave-in paid off perfectly." Nightfury yelps in annoyance, but I push on, ignoring his spluttering. "Though I don''t know if anyone else would really want my chest. Maybe my luck''s finally run out..." "Tch," Nightfury scoffs. "Yeah right. It''s probably a freaking epic weapon or something." ''Tch,'' I think to myself. ''As if it would ever be that easy.'' I p my hands. "All right, so how about everyone materialize your chest, ce it in the middle, and we''ll all randomly grab someone else''s?" Lis shakes his head. "Nah, that''s not really fair either. Since Shade and I got Frozen by the stupid Willpower Checks, we didn''t contribute as much. Our chests are probably lower-tiered than yours. Nightfury''s the one who actually had some clutch ys. How about we just switch ours, and you and Nightfury switch yours, if you''re really okay with this?" "Of course he''s okay with it, he already said he was," Nightfury says quickly, yellow draconian eyes gleaming at the prospect of legendary treasure. He''s never looked more like a Western "sleeping on a horde of gold" dragon than he does in this moment. Choking back augh at the image, I materialize my shiny chest and pass it to the Draegkyn. He practically drools as he epts it, and passes me his own. "You''re acting like a proper Party Leader now," he says. "I try," I reply. Lis and Shadeyer open their chests first, and like they expected, they don''t get too much: a handful of silvers apiece, some vendor trash (useless items that only NPC vendors might buy from you), Spectral Grenades that deal double-damage against undead mobs, and vials of Health Potion. Shadeyer also ends up with a piece of Yellow-tier armor, so it looks like Lis'' Luck stat might be higher than his. I make sure to remember that for the future. I open my chest next. There''s the expected little stuffsilvers, Spectral Grenades, potions, etcand then the real prize: [ Unseelie Crossbow ] {White} To Equip: Level 15 / Agility 12 + Intelligence 8 || For when Melee is too Mundane. The Unseelie Crossbow is a one-handed ranged weapon that can be attached to a vambrace and shot by wrist movement. This dark magic item can load up to five bolts at once, though it can only shoot one at at a time. With normal arrows, Deals 250 Attack Damage, 2x Damage for Headshots, 3x Damage against Seelie Fae or other Light-Aligned Enemies. +2 Intelligence, + 1 Agility Active Skill: Target Lock - If you visually lock onto a target before activating Target Lock, the next arrow you shoot will hit the target no matter where they are, as long as they remain within 500 meters of you. Cooldown: 5 Minutes Active Skill: Triple Hit - Once you hit a target, activating Triple Hit will automatically rapid-fire another two arrows to hit the same target. Cooldown: 3 Minutes|| The crossbow is beautiful, dark silver with amethyst Celtic designs, and when I attach it to my left vambrace, it looks like a lethal bird resting on my arm. The bowed part of the weapon flows like spread wings, and the stock is the body of the bird in a dive, beak covering the back of my hand. It onlyes with a bundle of 25 bolts, but I n to make them count. When Nightfury sees the gorgeous crossbow, a sh of regret crosses his face, until he realizes that if his measly contribution was worth a White-tier weapon, the chest I''d given him must contain something truly extraordinary. Everyone holds their breath in anticipation as Nightfury clicks open the chest. Bright aurora-like light fills the tunnel and reflects off the scales at Nightfury''s temples. As one, we all lean forward to see what amazing item waits in store for our most cantankerous party member... [ Ankou''s Wide-Brimmed Hat ] {CURSED GEAR} ITEM AUTO-BIND UPON ACQUISITION. CANNOT BE REMOVED UNTIL CURSE IS LIFTED. Chapter 44: Let Loose the the Dog of War Chapter 44: Let Loose the the Dog of War The hat. Dear gods the hat. Even as we fight our way through the catbs, ying Celtic ghosts and zombies and the asional pack of Cwn Annwnhellhounds that look like emaciated wolves with blue-me eyesmy own eyes are constantly drawn to the wide-brimmed monstrosity sitting jauntily atop Nightfury''s dark red hair. It''s battered, so there''s a hole for one of his small silver Draegkyn horns to stick through, but the other horn is covered by the floppy gray-ck leather. The top is low and t, and the entire thing looks like something a pirate might wear, or a bush hunter from the Australian Outback. And it won''te off. Nightfury spends ten entire minutes trying everything in his power to unequip it, or store it, or hang it from a belt loopanything to get it off his head, where it automatically appeared when he opened the chest meant for me. Nothing doing. He can slightly adjust it on his head, and that''s it. He wouldn''t tell us the full details of the Curse no matter how Lis wheedled and begged, but considering the faces he was making as he read the description, I have a feeling he''s going to be rocking that floppy hat look for weeks, if not months, before he can get close to breaking the bind. Shit, I''mughing so hard I''m crying again. An arrowes flying at my face, so Izily knock it aside with Zen. Smirking at Nightfury, I tip an imaginary hat to his archery prowess, then point my shiny new crossbow at him. His angry face widens in rm, and he flinches...only to realize I was aiming at thest hellhound behind him, which dies with a howl when three bolts strike it in the head. Ignoring Nightfury''s uninventive curses, I open the door and head into the next open crypt area. This time, I have plenty of warning before the wooden chimes sound in the darkness. Before the winds of fickle fortune can st through the dungeon, Aku''s enraged screams alert me to the return of the Banshee. The scarlet-tinged ankle-deep fog shes and sends jolts through me like static electricity, so I''m hopping from one foot to the other when the hideous hag reappears in a whirl of fog. I''ve already incurred the Curse, so it''s no big deal to draw Aku for this second bout. In fact, given the murderous aura emanating from Aku''s scabbard, I''m pretty sure the de would turn on me if I didn''t let it out to enact its revenge. Only problem is...we still haven''t made it to the Final Boss Lair? This isn''t where the Banshee''s supposed to show up for the final showdown where she can be killed! *Happy Chime of Doom* [You have triggered a HIDDEN BOSS!] Lis grabs Shadeyer and runs up to me. "How is this possible?! Can dungeons have more than one Hidden Boss?" Thoughtful, I nod. "Technically, I''ve heard of 50-man dungeons with multiple Hidden Bosses. But they have such low spawn rates, the probability of spawning more than one in the same run is...well..." "Stupid unlikely. So improbable, in fact, this game could run for years without anyone triggering multiple Hidden Bosses in a single dungeon run," Nightfury finishes. "What the hell?" Shadeyer moans. "Guess that means we''re just extra lucky!" I say, pumping my fist in an unholy imitation of Ken the Personal Trainer from Hell. Nightfury grips the edge of his dumb hat. "You call this luck!?" he growls. "Immeasurably bad luck is still luck, right?" I ask cheerfully. "That is not what I meant!" Lis sps Nightfury on the shoulder. "You didn''t specify, so..." I sp Nightfury''s other shoulder. "What he said." Shadeyer pats Nightfury on the head. Another hole appears in the hat. "Whoops. At least now both of your horns are visible." Lis smiles wide. "See? Lucky!" Nightfury sighs. "I hate everyone." Heart warmed by Nightfury''s expression of exasperated defeat, I move out to take down a Banshee. --- I mess up. Part of me really wants to snag the final tooth for Zen''aku''s upgrade, while the other part of me really wants to kill this hag and get it over with, so I can break the curse. In the end, I split my attention too far, and lose out. I try a myriad of attacks to dislodge a tooth, but the Banshee''sbat AI has learned from ourst bout, and the same tricks don''t work this time. At the same time, I''m trying out differentbos and skills, checking her HP drops, trying to figure out a way to kill her before she can disappear. By the time the wailing woman disappears yet again in a puff of smoke, not only have I not killed the mini-boss, I also have no tooth to show for my efforts. This puts me in such a bad mood for the Hidden Boss, I don''t even care it''s a C-Sth, even if it makes no damn sense that one would show up in this underground dungeon. The C-Sth is a giant hound with forest green fur and a whip-like braided tail, that normally appears in the moors of the Hignds region of Gael. In myth, the creature usually hunts silently, but sometimes releases three bone-trembling barks, and only three, that can be heard for miles, even far out to sea when the hound stands on a cliff. Those unfortunate souls who hear the barking of the C-Sth must reach the safety of the indoors, where the hound''s spectral bark cannot prate, before the third bark, or be immediately seized with terror and die. Honestly, I''m so annoyed with myself that when half my party freezes after the very first Willpower Check Bark, I barely notice, let alone care. I just focus on letting out my frustration on the Boss, using martial arts skills to kick the giant dog''s green arse. No, literally. After stunning it with a Chakra Burst, I spend a good thirty seconds running behind the hound and repeatedly kicking it in the arse. It''s cathartic, you know? Then Nightfury''s out for the count after the second Bark, and that I do notice, if only because the stream of curses aimed at me cut off abruptly. Now my whole party''s draining HP to the Boss''s DoT (damage-over-time), and I don''t have a spell or anything that can block their ears or otherwise shield them from the final Bark. From what I remember, the third one is an intense AoE attack that deals +300 Damage to anyone frozen and unshielded. Just enough to wipe them out. There''s only 90 seconds between Barks, and no way to interrupt the skill. The smart y here would be to give up on my Party and use the opening created when the Boss is stuck in his post-skill animation tounch an all-out counterattack. I can see in the distressed eyes of Shadeyer and Nightfury, and the resigned eyes of Lis, that they know it, too. Guess I''m not the one getting MPK''d, huh? I run my hands through my hair and sigh. Fuck it. I''m not feeling particrly smart right now anyway. I close my eyes to visualize as intensely as I can, fling out one hand, and yell, "Ignis Fatuus!" A trail of Will o'' the Wisps spark to life, leading the C-Sth toward the far side of the crypt. They''re imbued with my Aggro-pulling signature, and since I''m the one holding the Boss''s aggro, it chases them without a moment''s thought. While the Boss is distracted, I race to Nightfury, who''s closest, and swoop him off his feet. His golden reptilian eyes dart wildly in panic, and I could say something to make him feel less freaked out, but I don''t want to. Instead I just wink at him and take off, carrying him bridal style. If anything, he looks even more panicked. We can call it even for him wanting to murder me earlier. I throw open the door we came in from and toss the Draegkyn into the tunnel like a sack of potatoes. Then I head back into the crypt for the other two. Shadeyer blushes so hard while I''m carrying him I start to feel embarrassed on his behalf, but I still make sure to hurl him so hends directly on Nightfury. As an ash dryad, Lis weighs next to nothing, so I can run at near top-speed with him. Lis grins the entire time, carefree as always, eyes sparkling as the leaves growing in his hair blow in the wind. "No time to exin!" I answer the furious question on Nightfury''s face, and then I m the door closed in their faces. Not two secondster, the third and final Bark rumbles through the crypt like bone-shattering thunder, and I pray to the Celtic Goddess Danu that dumbass n worked. Now then. I believe there''s a dog-shaped punching bag ready for Round Two of cathartic aggression release... --- -Seven Minutes Later- --- "Whew, that was a good workout. I''m feeling reinvigorated! No way that old hag is gonna beat me next time." Rolling my shoulders, I push open the tunnel door. "Oh wow, you''re all still alive! Huh." Nightfury jumps to his feet, tail twitching. "What do you mean, ''Huh''? You didn''t know that was going to work before you threw us in here?" "Yes." "Yes what? That doesn''t answer my question at all!" "When did you get so good with that wisp racial skill?" Shadeyer asks, pushing Nightfury aside. "I haven''t even had time to practice it since I learned it at the end of the Quest of Daring!" I nod inmiseration. "Me either, I feel you." Shadeyer gapes. "You haven''t practiced it much and you''re already that good at it?" "I mean. That was my first time using it?" Shadeyer breaks then, for some reason. Must be the stress catching up to him. Chapter 45: An Abundance of Bosses Chapter 45: An Abundance of Bosses When the third Hidden Boss shows up, I feel like I should have known better. Really, this is my fault. "At least I won''t get cursed," I had said, because I am an idiot who deserves everything that''sing to me. Sigh. *Sizzle Pop* "Ouch!" I hiss and p my wings to dispel the glowing crimson fog curling around my ankles that''s straight-up electrocuting me at this point. Aku screams with the force of a thousand in warriors and thrums in my hand. "Yes yes, I know," I try to cate the dagger that is one failed battle with a Banshee away from ending me. "EEEEEYAAAAHHHHHHH!" the dagger replies. Hm. Distinctly not cated then. Cool. "EEEYAAHHH!" the Banshee adds, just to rub it in. "Ugh," I groan. Lis frowns at my defeated expression. "What''s wrong?" "We''re all going to die." "What, how?" I gesture at myself. "Well, I''m going to die, and without me, you guys..." "Hey!" Nightfury yelps, offended. Shadeyer slumps. "Oh man, yeah, we''re definitely going to die." "Have some dignity, will you?" Nightfury demands, shaking Shadeyer. "We''re definitely going to die, but it might take a few minutes!" Shadeyer says, with feeling this time. Nightfury ps Shadeyer upside the head, so Lis tugs Nightfury''s hat into his eyes. "y nice," he chides, then turns to me. "Any particr reason you think we''re going to die, after all the insanity we''ve already survived?" Hesitantly, I exin that due to reasons, if I don''t kill the Banshee this time, I''ll die instead. And since she''s the Harbinger for another Hidden Boss, she won''t die, she''ll just disappear into the fog. "Why not take out her final 10% HP at all once?" Lis suggests. I shake my head. "I tried thatst time. But her AI is learning my moves, and I don''t have any attacks that can take out that much HP at once anyway, at this early stage." Nightfury huffs and swishes his tail. "Isn''t it obvious then?" "Yeah. We''re all going to die." "No, dumbass. Have the three of us fight her. With you. You''ve taken care of the battles alone up to now, so she won''t recognize any of our attacks, and she won''t expect coordination." Surprised, I scratch my head with Zen. "Um...can you coordinate?" "Gods damnit, Erebus, we''re all gamers!" Nightfury snaps. "True," Shadeyer agrees, thoughtful. "Just becausepared to you, we suck, doesn''t mean we actuallypletely suck. Besides,pared to you, like, everyone sucks, right?" "This game is not actually designed to only be yable by pretty boy geniuses," Nightfury grumbles. "Aww. You think I''m pretty." I flutter my longshes and fluff up my wings. "Forget it," Nightfury says immediately. "Just die." "I think you''re pretty, too, Nightfury," Lis says encouragingly. "Especially in this super dark dungeon." "You can hardly see anything in this dungeon," Shadeyer reminds him. Lis smiles. "Exactly!" As Nightfury tackles Lis and Shadeyer yawns, I can''t help but chuckle and shake my head. So what if we''re going to die? Might as well go out with a bang. If nothing else, it should be fun before it all ends in disaster, given these crazy mofos. "You in a better mood, Erebus?" Lis asks from what looks like a very ufortable position, face smashed into the stone floor by Nightfury''s w-nailed hands. "Much, thanks." "Fabulous," Lis replies with a grin, then he pushes Nightfury off him and jumps to his feet like nothing happened. We''re still well out of the Banshee''s aggro range, so we have a few minutes to make a game n. First, I have Shadeyer allocate the 5 points he received for hitting Level 5. Then I have everyone look through the little loot they''ve managed to score so far and equip anything that will improve attack power. I pour over the C-Sth battle rewards and divvy up the goods. Two ws go into Upgrade Storage, Shadeyer gets armor, and a +2 Fortitude fang goes to Nightfury, since he''s closest to having high enough Fortitude to withstand high-level Willpower Checks. (Thest two Hidden Bosses had had something to do with Willpower, so assuming we manage to defeat the Banshee, it would be helpful if at least someone in the party wasn''t useless in the Boss fight after.) Shadeyer passes Nightfury some arrows. Nightfury passes Lis three Ice Runes, magic stones with a 10-second Freeze spell imbued into them. "Are you sure?" I ask, shocked. "Those are super valuable right now." "We know," Nightfury gruffly replies. "They were part of the Normal Mode Boss loot." "The drop rate is so low on Normal, though!" I exim. All three of them just look at me with t stares. Guess I don''t really have room to talk about low probabilities... "Anyway, it''s no big deal," Lis assures me. "If we want to kill this mini-boss without her escaping, we might need to Freeze her. Even with all our firepowerbined, I don''t know if we can take out 10% HP all at once." "With those, we might actually have a shot at this. All right, here''s the n..." I tell everyone what to expect and have Shadeyer repeat his instructions back to me twice. "What part of chemical engineer do you not understand?" he whines the second time I ask, but then he does repeat back his part of the n. "Good job," I say, proud, and hand him a shamrock lollipop. For some reason, he looks like he wants to cry, or perhaps punch me in the face. I pat his head reassuringly. How sweet. He''s speechless. "All right, that''s everything," I say to the whole group, as I take a few warm-up swings with Zen''aku. "Remember, I need one of those nasty snaggle teeth, so only low-power attacks in the beginning. We need that initial HP tost." "Roger that, Boss," Lis says with a jaunty little salute. "Let''s just get this over with," Nightfury says, already moving into position. "Mmghnnnrrm," Shadeyer mumbles iprehensibly, forehead all scrunched in scowl lines, mouth full of bright green lollipop. I sh my widest, toothiest grin, and twirl my twin curses. "Perfect! Let''s go!" It''s time to see if this whole "Party Leader" gig is all it''s cracked up to be. Chapter 46: Sagging Tits and Critical Hits Chapter 46: Sagging Tits and Critical Hits I start off slow this time. Between hits aimed to pull aggro, I exin when the optimal times for assistance would be, between (or in addition to) various attacks. Nightfury is predictably stoic throughout my impromptu training sesh, though I notice his brow wrinkles in concentration when I offer advice that strays away from "standard" strategies. I''m honestly impressed he can tell the difference, though I''d rather eat his Cursed hat than admit it. As I field questions from Lis and Shadeyer and quiz them on positioning techniques, I''m ovee with bittersweet nostalgia. I''m transported from this dank crypt to the gamingb downstairs at Team Digital Discord''s HQ, training pro hopefuls at one of the recruitment camps we hosted every off-season. It''s a weird feeling. This isn''t actually the first time I''ve tried to offer advice to other gamers since the ident. Before, though, as soon as the yers would realize I couldn''t perform the moves I was telling them to try, they''d immediately dismiss me as a fraud. The more I tried to regain my skills and the more I failed miserably, the more I felt they were right. I''ve had months of Viren''s Refuge to remember how badass I can be, of course. I''m not faking the shit-eating smirks and overbearing ego; Ie by them honestly. And as I swing Zen''aku, both arms fully functional and deadly precise, I know I''ll probably be even better at VR than I ever was at online gaming. But imposter syndrome is insidious. It gnaws at you like a Celtic Alp-Luachra. The invisible parasitic fae crawls into a sleeping person''s mouth and takes up residence in the pit of his stomach, forever feeding on the pith (essence) of the person and the pith of any food he eats to replenish his gging energy. No matter how you try to fight, it remains, a silent and ever-present drain on your spirit. Sometimes, it sleeps, and you can forget for a while what it feels like to be a failure, to be useless. To be cast away. But then, when you''re least prepared, it returns with vigor, eating away at whatever thin supports you''ve built to bolster yourself back up. In this, however, my shameless narcissism is more help than hindrance. There''s nothing I like more than proving twatwaffles wrong and shoving my abject awesomeness in their dumbass faces. Even when the twatwaffle is myself. Especially then, in fact. --------- When I finally give the others the go ahead to participate in the battle for real, they prove better at coordination than I expect. After his increase in AGI, Shadeyer can manage several hits before needing to back off. The Banshee still freaks him out, and he can''t help a strangled yelp here and there, but repeated exposure has tempered his fear. Plus, the lollipop I''d given him granted him a ten-minute Vitality buff, so none of her attacks can one-hit kill him. Able to think clearly, he''s not half-bad. Not quite good, either, but it''s an improvement, nheless. When he pulls off aplete three-partbo and retreats without taking a single point of damage, I offer him honest praise: "Congrats, Shades. You have officially graduated from dead weight!" "Yesssss!" he cheers, leaping into the air and pping his midnight blue wings. "Don''t be proud of that, idiot!" Nightfury snaps. "I can and I will," Shadeyer retorts, unperturbed. Taking the role of support, Lis stays back, keeping a close eye on the Banshee''s HP and attack patterns, and keeping an even closer eye on everyone else''s HP and SP. He''s a decent judge of the rhythm for when each yer should pop a potion, though there are only three of us, so it''s not particrly difficult. Periodically, to help interrupt the Banshee''s attacks and give me openings to go for a tooth, he shoots her with his Living Slingshot. It''s a small weapon made from the World Tree that apparently all Meliae (ash dryads) receive. When not in use, it attaches to the part of their forearms where the skin changes to twisting wood and vines, and connects the dryads to their World Tree Vitality source. Nightfury''s the biggest surprise. I''d gathered he had decent skills, but turns out, when he''s actively trying to work *with* me instead of getting in my way, he''s legit helpful. He stays on the move, constantly finding locations in his optimal range to attack, and he doesn''t need any instructions to know precisely when to attack that affords me the best openings. It''s not quite pro level, but he might have the potential to rise into an expert. He hadn''t stood out to me in the beta, but every time I''d interacted with him, I''d purposefully pissed him off, so he may not have been inclined to show off his best. Also, as a reckless melee not in the mood to y well with others, I rarely paid solid attention to the ranged fighters. Unfortunately, even as our party''s coordination reaches the level of Not Entirely Sucking, my mission to snag a second snaggle tooth remains iplete. When the Banshee''s down to her final quarter of HP, desperation crawls up my throat and flies from my lips as a frustrated cry. I''ve used every high-level de and martial arts skill I know, and I can''t waste them again; I can''t afford to have any skill on cooldown for the final attack against this ugly hag. I even try to recreate the headbutt that had initially won me a toothy prize, but she''s wised up to that trick. The Banshee raises her head, so I end up bashing her chin. It Stuns her for a few seconds, so Shadeyer manages a decentbo and Nightfurynds an exploding headshot, but s, I am left bereft of snaggle teeth. It''s ironic, perhaps, that I''m trying so hard to score a material so I can upgrade the same de that''s probably going to kill me in the next fifteen minutes. At this point, I''m tempted to give up on the tooth and focus on killing the Banshee. The only problem is, my Fickle Fortune''s still in effect for another 56 hours. Who knows what weird shite might go down if I try to run this dungeon again before it''s over? And, sure, I don''t *need* to upgrade Zen''aku right this second, but... I really really want to. That''s honestly what ites down to. Also, after fighting this damn mini-boss so many times today, I admit I''m harboring a small grudge. "Twenty percent!" Lis calls out. "Tits!" I swear. "Okay?" Lis replies, confused. Shrugging, he shoots the Banshee in the chest with his slingshot. "No, that''s not" I try to exin. "Aim lower, she''s old! Sag city," Shadeyer corrects helpfully. "Good call." Lis shoots again, this time aiming for what would be bellybutton height, if Harbingers of Death have bellybuttons? The intense sound effect and shy animation of a Critical Hit lights up the crypt, and the Banshee screeches. "Nice!" Shadeyer cheers. "Sweet hack, Erebus!" Lis waves his Living Slingshot triumphantly at me. Nightfury catches my eye, and for the first time, I can tell we arepletely in agreement, awed by the power of dumb luck. Emphasis on the dumb. Inspired, I realize there is one move I haven''t tried yet. I raise Aku like an orchestral conductor''s baton and imitate the motion that means "Cut!" It''s one of the few simple cues I''d taught the others to recognize earlier, and they halt their attacks immediately. I''m kinda proud. I generate a Will o'' the Wisp behind the Banshee, and she whirls to face it, shrieking her trademark bloodcurdling wail. I saunter up to her side, tap her on the shoulder, and when she turns her fugly mug toward me, I sucker punch the biyatch. Her jaw cracks, her scabbed lips bust open, and a single tooth goes flying in a spray of bloody spittle. Shadeyer snatches it out of the air, grimacing and grossed out, butmitted to being a helpful member of this team. Nightfury goes ck-jawed. "I can''t believe that worked." "The power of Stupid is never to be underestimated," I reply sagely. He nods, too overwhelmed to remember he''d rather die than outwardly agree with me. It pains me to ignore the obvious opening, but we have an unkible mob to destroy, and I need my dragon boy firing with full focus. Besides, if I know one thing with absolute certainty, it''s that I will be presented with the opportunity to enrage Nightfury again...and again...and again... I smile, content, and Nightfury shivers, a sudden chill racing down his spine. Chapter 47: Tears of the Programmer, Unwillingly Given Chapter 47: Tears of the Programmer, Unwillingly Given | Vir-Tech Labs | "Oh no you don''t," Visby mutters savagely, bloodshot eyes ring at his monitors. His long fingers fly across his keyboard, every "ENTER" keystroke a satisfying smash more aggressive than thest. Most of his co-workers are so hyped on stress and caffeine they don''t notice anything amiss over the faint buzzing filling their overworked brains. The few people who do pick up on Visby''s increasing descent into programmer madness are too afraid to broach the topic. (Besides, it''s not like he''s the only one devolving. One intern who hasn''t left the office in three days has started to hear colors, but his team leader assures him it''s not worth panicking over until he starts smelling lines of code.) "Hehe," Visby chuckles darkly as he hits the final key and leans back to admire his handiwork, cracking his neck and absently massaging his hands. Two of his monitors flow with code, while a third is filled with small square windows of live gamey that look like CCTV security footage. The content of the windows changes every thirty seconds, but a few particr yers appear frequently, as if the footage is their highlight reels. An Anubis Warrior fights a pack of Redcaps with his obsidian crescent axe, a Valkyrie gores a demon hound with her spear, and a Rakshasa rips a Gancanagh* apart with its bare hands. These yers are all located in different areas in-game, but they share amon trait; they''re all the highest-ranking yers in Viren''s Refuge. Visby''s eyes are currently glued to the center window, where a certain Lvl 12 D''Raven is charging around a dungeon, fighting a Banshee. Stacey, a thirty-two-year-old software engineer with the snack habits of a thirteen-year-old and a full sleeve of tattoos hiding under her Cheeto-stained hoodie walks past Visby''s workspace on her way to the vending machine for the eleventh time today. Her eyes aren''t so zed over she misses Chaos[3Boy, as she''s affectionately dubbed him, racing around front and center. "What''s he up to now?" she asks, leaning on the back of Visby''s chair. Visby''s so engrossed, he doesn''t even flinch like usual when she gets all up in his personal space. "The AI''s calcting a probability shift. This damn kid is probably going to defeat a Hidden Boss Harbinger." She whistles low. "Damn. What''s that do? Does he face the Hidden Boss or move directly to the Final Boss?" Visby shakes his head. "Tch. No, no. Those are too easy for this damn D''Raven." Stacey blinks rapidly, trying to force her fried brain toprehend. "Huh? What does that mean?" "The AI and I are nning something a bit more...special for our little friend." "What do you mean, you and the AI are nning?" Frowning, Stacey pulls the strings on her hoodie. Visby finds her clothing choice ironic, as the sweatshirt is emzoned with: Did I ask for your [ input ]? (_) He is tempted to ask her that very question, but he values his life, so he wisely refrains. She chews on the frayed end of one of the strings. "It''s not like you canmunicate with the AI or anything." There''s a beat. "Right," Visby says. "I don''t like how long it took you to answer that!" she yelps, pping his shoulder. A lurid orange handprint joins yesterday''s coffee stain and this morning''s tofu pudding soy sauce stter. The button-down is looking more and more like a canvas of sad abstract art titled "Workaholic." "Ow," Visby hisses under his breath. He actually looks up from hisputer screens, though, to glower at Stacey. Unimpressed, she frowns right back. "Is it...wise? Tomunicate with the AI like that?" Under the intensity of her stare, Visby detes with a sigh, head lolling onto the back of his chair. "Probably not. Honestly, I''m too tired and over this shit to care at this point." His eyes find their way back to his screen just in time to see a Frozen Banshee get bombarded with attacks from four sides, including a 100% Skill Proficiency Chakra Burst, and disappear in an explosion of glittering fractals. His chapped lips curve up into a tired, wry smile. "I may regret itter, but right now, it feels like justice." Rolling her eyes, Stacey pushes off his chair and makes him roll into the desk next to him. "Justice, huh?" Visby huffs augh as he rolls back to his station. "Well. At least the look on his face is going to be funny as fuck, and that''s almost worth the next week of all-nighters." --------------------- | Inner Crypt, Dolmen Dungeon | The room freezes like there''s a glitch. The blue opalescent fragments of the defeated Banshee remain locked in the air, as a series of bright, chiming notifications fill my view. {Aether Alert: Operation {HIDDEN BOSS} Aborted.} {Aether Alert: Operation {FINAL BOSS} Aborted.} {Aether Alert: Congrattions! You have once againpletely ignored the designed order of things and defeated that which ought not to have been defeated yet! Your daring deeds remain as impressive as they are vexing! Please examine Battle Log for special rewards!} [ BATTLE LOG ] { Banshee } +10,000 EXP || Nightmare Bonus: 2x EXP || || Repeated Destruction Bonus: For repeatedly defeating the same mini-boss in a single run, 3x EXP || || Irony Bonus: For bringing about an Untimely Death to the Harbinger of Untimely Deaths, +3 Vitality, +2 Perception, +25,000 EXP || || Tears of the Programmer Bonus: For making the game developers cry, Fickle Fortune Loot Drop Rate is set to 100%, +3 Free Attribute Points, -1000 Reputation among Vir-Tech Employees|| ----- The Drop Items list is just as impressive and overwhelming as the Battle Log. First, I get a skillbook for the magic spell Breath of the Dying, which even at Level 1 is a truly awesome CC (crowd control) skill; it creates an ominous fog that puts enemies within a 20-meter radius into a "Sorrow Stupor," which is a 90-second -20% Movement Speed debuff. I can''t wait to level this baby up to the point where I can debuff the movement speeds of everything within my Taunt radius! I also pocket the Eye of the Banshee Amulet. The fog-swirling sphere grants me another +5 Fortitude, but it''s creepy and gross, so I store it right next to my bloody baby hand talisman. They seem good for each other. Even while frozen, the system lets me send drop rewards to the rest of my party, so I go ahead and distribute the other goodies while I''m at it. (Considering how strained the devs seem, given the not-so-hidden message in those "special rewards," I don''t mind being patient while they figure out what the hell to do now that I''ve yet again fucked up their plotlines.) First, I send the Willow Switch to Lis. It''s a magic item automatically imbued with a Healing skill and a Defense Shield skill, though the description makes me think if Lis finds the right master instructor, the switch could gain another 2-3 Healing skills. I don''t know if his INT is high enough to wield it yet, but it Binds Upon Equip, so I can''t use it for whatever craziness is about to descend and then pass it along. The Runes (Wind, Ice, Lightning) I send to Lis, however, he absolutely can use in the uing battle. He''d shot the Ice Runes with his slingshot during the Banshee battle, and it had actually increased the efficacy of the Runes! Who knew there''d be such a cool perk? Nightfury gets the bundle of iron-tipped arrows, while I keep the iron-tipped bolts for my crossbow. Iron deals extra damage to fae, though it''s not as deadly in-game as it is in folk legends. After some internal debate, I also send Nightfury the Lvl 12 chest armor. I figure a) I''m still wearing the Ankou Death Shroud, and the lightly tattered dark cloak works wonders for my broody aesthetic (while also providing solid defense, obviously), and b) it won''t be long before I can equip my Lvl 25 Cuirass, but Nightfury and co have a ways to go yet, so Lvl 12 armor will be more useful for them. Shadeyer gets the shaft this time, only ending up with his share of raw materials, which he promptly epts and sends me the bloody snaggle tooth he''d been holding onto right back. I add it to the Upgrade Storage and smile as Zen''aku trembles in excitement. Once all the housekeeping is out of the way, we remain frozen in weird glitch mode for another five minutes at least before, finally, the dungeon whirs back to life. When thest of the Banshee disappears, the game''s mostly back to normal, and we turn to check in with each other. "You guys good?" "That was crazy!" "What the heck was that?" "Is this gonna be a Hidden Boss now, or..." Before anyone can actually answer anyone else, that extra special *Super Happy Chime of Doom* dings and echoes in the wide catb room. [You have triggered a {N/A} BOSS!] [ AILLN TRECHEND, SOUL BURNER ] [Level 18 - HP 100,000/100,000] [Special Boss Alert: For reasons I don''t think I need to exin (You know what you did.), you have attracted the attention of a Special Boss! Prepare for Battle, brave Heroes! Warning: Death Penalty increased to 1.5 Levels'' worth of EXP, and you will not be permitted back inside the Dolmen Dungeon for 7 Days.] --------------------- Author''s Note - Folklore Time! (Wanted to split this into multiple paragraphs, and I know that''s sometimes hard to read with all the ellipses...Webnovel forcibly inserts into Author Notes.) *Folklore Time: Gancanagh "Love Talker" (TRIGGER WARNING: NON-CON FAE BASTARD) In my opinion, this guy is truly the most disgusting, vile creature in all of Celtic mythology. The Gancanagh is the Date Rapist of Celtic myth. Literally, he oozes these intoxicating pheromones that draw women (and sometimes men) to him. His victims are helpless against the onught, and once they touch even the tiniest amount of skin of the Gancanagh, they are magically drugged and enved by the creature forever. He looks tall, dark, and handsome if you''re under this thrall, but he''s actually part of the Leprechaun family, so everyone else just sees a short, bearded dude with a pipe, and no one can understand what you see in him. Even more insidious than an incubus (which at least provides killer orgasms and generally leaves you alone after), the Gancanagh first steals your heart, then your pride, then finally your sanity. Like a total douche-bro, he enjoys the "game" of humiliation, so he often forces his victims to perform sexual acts (or other degrading acts, like being a human footstool, etc) in ces their friends and family might see. When he''s bored, he inevitably moves on. His victims fall into a lovesick frenzy, and can no longer function without the touch and fake affection of the Gancanagh, so they eventually die. Usually of starvation/neglect. My headcanon for my own story is that the VR Gancanagh was about to put the moves on an NPC dairy maid, so the Rakshasa yer tore him to pieces and castrated him. #boomjustice Chapter 48: Grumpy Gus, Boxers Bro, and the Big Bad Boss Battle Chapter 48: Grumpy Gus, Boxers Bro, and the Big Bad Boss Battle [ AILLN TRECHEND, SOUL BURNER ] [Level 18 - HP 100,000/100,000] Without taking his eyes from the Boss, Lis tugs on my sleeve. "Um." "Yes?" I ask lightly, as if I have no idea what he might want to discuss. "Would you call that, a, um..." "A dragon," I supply helpfully. "Yes, I would indeed." "But it''s got three heads? Doesn''t that make it a hydra?" Shadeyer asks, with the demeanor of a man so beyond terror, he''s settled into a scientific fascination with the object of his inevitable demise. "Ah, but you see the membrane wings?" I point out the maroon and ck wings attached to its arms. "And how the middle head keeps spewing mes? Distinct dragon characteristics there." "Mm, right." Shadeyer nods, tapping his chin thoughtfully. Lis tugs on my sleeve again. "Is that giant three-headed dragon holding a...harp?" "It would seem so, yes." Lis gulps. "How big would you say that, uh, dragon bard is?" "Easily three giraffes tall," I say. "Five or six giraffes wide," Shadeyer adds. "Huh," Lis says, chewing on his lip. There''s a pause, as if we''re all waiting for something. Then Lis swears. "Fucknuts, I forgot. Kane died. Was hoping for that in meters." I bust outughing. I don''t know if it''s the reminder of Kane''s bizarre knowledge or my surprise at Lis'' swearing, but once I start, I can''t stop for several seconds. The others tear their eyes away from the monster taking up half the chamber to look at me like I''m crazy. But then Lis joins in with a mad chuckle of his own, and then Shadeyer can''t stop himself either, though it''s even money whether he''sughing or crying. "Everyone, we are royally screwed," I finally say, once we''ve all had our respective breakdowns. "Hear hear." Lis fistpumps. As I''m about to prepare everyone for going out in a literal ze of glory, Nightfury chimes in: "So what, you''re going to give up NOW?" he uses, crossing his arms. "You''re not?" I stare at him, disbelieving. "It''s not about me. I''m not Mr. So Batshit Crazy I Bend the Universe to My Insane Will and Do Whatever the Fuck I Want." I roll my eyes. "And what, I am?" Three heads nod simultaneously. Shadeyer nods so fervently I worry he''s going to hurt himself. I swear even the damn dragon nods. "After all the crazy shite you''ve pulled on this thrice-cursed run, why wouldn''t we expect you to pull one more logic-defying stunt out of your arse?" I pointedly look back and forth between Nightfury and the Boss. "You know we can''t kill that thing." "Why not?" Shadeyer asks. I frown. "It''s an Epic Beast. See how its name isn''t written in red, but instead it''s that Celestial-tier rainbow-y glow? That means it''s a monster so powerful it can shake the foundations of an entire Realm." "Eek," Shadeyer replies eloquently. I gaze up at the ferocious monster. "Back in the beta, this guy was the Final Boss we had to beat to open up passage to Realm 2. It took 300 of us, fighting in teams of 100, to finally take him out." Lis slumps. "Then we have no chance, right?" Nightfury harrumphs. "Except there is one major difference between that Realm battle and this. The Ailln Trechend we foughtst time was Level 40. This one''s only Level 18." "As if that matthuh," I cut myself off, frown deepening in thought. As much as the devs hate me right now, Zhao Jianyu''s AI wouldn''t create a truly unbeatable challenge just to be a dick. If we came across an unbeatable mob randomly in the field, sure, that''s our bad luck. But we''re inside a beginner dungeon. We might die 99 times out of a 100 against this guy, but there should be at least a tiny chance of sess, or it wouldn''t be fair. "Grumpy Gus has a point," I say finally. Nightfury''s eyebrow twitches in annoyance, but then he smirks. "Poor Boxers Bro. Did admitting I was right get your pink panties in a twist?" Unprepared for that low blow, I gasp. Then I pull down my trousers and moon the bastard. "You tell me. They twisted?" "Fuck''s sake, it says ''HERO'' on your arse." Nightfury looks pained. "It does indeed!" I say loudly as I whip my pants back up. "And now, this Hero is going to y a goddamn dragon bard!" "Huzzah!" Lis cheers. "Shitshitshitshitshit," Shadeyer mumbles. "I hate you so much it physically pains me," Nightfury groans. "MOTHAFUCKING LEEROY JENKINS!" I yell. ------ The fight is a shitshow. Itrgely consists of me doing all of the damage while the others scream a lot. (So, business as usual.) Normally, I''d keep the Boss busy and have the others stay in a safe blind spot and attack freely. Guess what? Not a lot of blind spots when the Boss has three fucking heads. For ease ofmunication (by which I mean me screaming things like "Get the fuck back, dumbass! mes iing!"), I name each head so they''re easy to reference no matter which way they''re facing. Left head = Mr. Bitey. This head is all about physical attacks, all lunging neck and chomping fangs. It has the most limited range, but its attacks happen most frequently, so it''s a melee nightmare. Middle head = Mr. Burny. Reptilian me thrower, more or less. Luckily, the dragon''s chest glows like a furnace when it''s revving up to spew the next raging inferno, so as long as we''re paying attention, it''s not an attack we can''t avoid. After each me breath, though, patches of floor remain aze, turning the dungeon chamber into a damn obstacle course and constantly shrinking our battlefield. I pass out +50 Heat Resistance me Gum to everyone, which does jack all for protecting against the mes, but it keeps everyone from overheating as the room gets progressively warmer. Right head = Mr. Bardy The most dangerous of the triple threat. Thankfully, his attacks are the least frequent, since they''re the only ones we absolutely have to interrupt every single time, or face a party wipe. You heard me. It''s not the dragon fangs or the dragon breath that''s mostly likely to kill us all. It''s the dragon''s bard skills. Mr. Bardy is the brains behind the harp ying, and the harp is this enchanted weapon that, ording to myth, could put all of Tara to sleep every Samhain, giving Ailln full rein to wreck shit. Needless to say, being put to sleep would make us unable to dodge teeth and mes, so that''s the attack I''m most concerned with. Unsurprisingly, though Lis and Shadeyer understand that concern on principle, the reality is razor sharp teeth and stone-melting mes tend to jump up the priority concern list when you''re on the receiving end. That leaves Nightfury and me the only ones with enough presence of mind to interrupt the harp attacks. Iron arrows/bolts to the eye are a solid interrupt, but insanely difficult to pull off. We end up having Lis use his Ice Runes to Freeze Mr. Bardy so we can shoot freely. There''s 100 seconds between harp attacks, so we spend the other time focusing on the other heads. I work alone, mostly dealing damage to Mr. Bitey and keeping him away from the others. While I''m dodging around looking for openings, I need my peak AGI, so I keep my The Natural title. When I''m attacking however, I quick-swap out for Indomitable David, for the +15% Attack and Defense against enemies more than 5 Levels higher than me. The other three work together to keep Mr. Burny busy. Lis and Nightfury interrupt me attacks with Runes flung into his mouth and well-timed headshots, while Shadeyer takes advantage of the distraction when the attacks are aborted tond a few hits. It kinda works. Ind a seven-hitbo for +8000 Damage; Shadeyernds a two-hit strike for +180 Damage. I lunge at the Boss for +650 Damage; Shadeyer hacks at the scaly hide for +15 Damage. The cute part is when Shadeyer worriedly asks me if I''ll be okay holding aggro, or if his attacks are going to cause an OT*. Before I can reply, Ind a fauxbo that sends the Boss down to 80% HP, and the music changes. Nightfury and I lock eyes for a second, and together, we sigh. You know when you''re fighting a Boss and shit''s going sideways fast, and you know it''s going to take all your concentration and a week''s worth of luck to possibly get out alive... ...And then a swarm of fucking Adds show up? It''s like, Really, devs? Necessary? I think not. So there we are, four puny demihumans fighting a colossal three-headed dragon...and a flock of ming crows shows up to the party. ----- *Author Reminder: I added two auxiliary chapters to the beginning of this work, one with specific in-game reminders (like the breakdown of each demihuman race and the Celestial Tier system, etc), and the other with general video game terminology (like OT) that you may be unfamiliar with. Feel free to check them out if you''re ever confused. Chapter 49: Smokey the Bear Supports this Chapter Chapter 49: Smokey the Bear Supports this Chapter The Adds are no more than an annoyance, so Nightfury and I leave them to our lesspetent teammates. Nightfury takes the remaining Ice Runes from Lis to keep the evil harp attacks in check, while I leap around like a flea, irritating the dragon into focusing all three of its heads on me. I''m inflicting enough damage to keep the mob regen from restoring the Boss''s HP, but even for me, a three-headed dragon is more than I can fight head-on and remain unscathed. Mostly, I''m hopping around guzzling health potions in mid-air, trying not die. I feel like I''m in a sports drinkmercial, flying through the air with my head tilted back, gulping down electrolytes and artificial voring. At least until I get whacked in the head with a ming crow that was knocked off-course by Shadeyer, and I crash to the floor, spluttering and covered in sticky red health potion. "Whoops," Shadeyer says apologetically. "Don''t make me demote you back to dead weight," I warn, as I fling myself to the side to avoid being gored by a dragon w. "It was an unfortunate ident, and it won''t happen again!" Shadeyer promises. "I''ll pay more attention!" "Behind you," I say, tiredly. "Huh?" he says, stupidly. And then three ming crows crash into his head. "Good luck with that," I say, then I rush to stop Mr. Bitey from biting Shadeyer''s brainless head off. Later, when Nightfury moves closer to freeze Mr. Bardy and shoot him in the eye, we both spare a nce at Shadeyer hacking at a small flock of crows squawking above his head. The tips of his wings are on fire, but he hasn''t noticed yet. I shoot Nightfury a skeptical nce. "He''s not really a chemical engineer, is he?" Shadeyer tries one of the tengu aerial moves and falls on his face. Nightfury groans in secondhand embarrassment. "He really is. Works in biotech." "That''s terrifying." "Truly." ----- Eventually, Lis and Shadeyer manage to kill the final Adds, and we once again focus our undivided attention on the giant-ass dragon. Unfortunately, I wasn''t able to interrupt all of Mr. Burny''s me attacks during my solo battle, so an rming number of floor tiles are covered in angry red mes. My high Agility and Perception make avoiding the mes effortless, but everyone else is severely hindered by the maze-like battlefield. Fortunately, Nightfury doesn''t need to move around to be effective, and the other two were so slow even before the mes overtook the arena, it''s hard to tell the difference now. I force Shadeyer to retract his wings, since he keeps singeing them, even though I keep mine out. This Boss fight is great practice to be more attuned to the feathered appendages, and I''m starting to see how my maneuverability is increased when I use my wings well. We return to our original attack pattern, and right as we get back into our effective rhythm, naturally, the Boss hits the Yellow Zone, and the next Phase begins. Ugh, I hate Boss Rampages. mes are shooting everywhere, all three heads are roaring, and it''s SO LOUD my brains feel like they''re being scrambled by a jackhammer in my skull. But we have to ignore the headache and keep on the move because the dragon''s empty front w is all shy and grabby, and its back legs are all stompy and smashy, and the Boss is chasing us around the dungeon, throwing an epic-level tantrum. Yes, chasing "us." Shadeyer, in his infinite idiocy, followed ME when the rampage started. Me, the guy holding the fucking aggro. "DUDE." I try to convey all of my emotions and incredulity into this single word, as I grab his slow ass and dive out of the way of yet another jet of mes. From the way Shadeyer flinches, I''m pretty sure he hears everything I don''t say. "I''M SORRY, I PANICKED!" he screams directly into my ear. I don''t immediately sacrifice him to the dragon, and I think I deserve credit for this. Instead, I drag him up and push him along the best path to avoid most of the Boss''s attacks. Since my defense is way higher, I end up acting as a meat shield against the unavoidable ones. The third time I get pummeled by something I could have avoided but Shadeyer couldn''t, I grit my teeth and ask, "Well, are you feeling less panicked now that you''re being actively chased by a legendary monster?" "Turns out, no! This is significantly worse!" I kick Shadeyer out of the way and Parry a w swipe. "I hope you''ve learned a valuable lesson." "I have! For sure!" he assures me. "Dive left!" I call out. "Aah!" he calls back, and lunges to the right. "DUDE," I say. "Whoops," he replies. "CHOMP," adds Mr. Bitey, and Shadeyer is no more. --- Sad to say, this phase of the battle turns considerably easier once Shadeyer dies. With free rein to move as I please, I zip through the fire maze and kite the three-headed lizard with frightening ease. Since the Fickle Fortune''s still in effect, I don''t even look as I continuously throw Whistling Starfall behind me, since it''s going to auto-headshot or miss altogether, and there''s nothing I can do about either. Whenever I reach an area rtively free of fire, I make a stand and slice up the dragon with my des, making full use of Zen''s particrly helpful bonuses. Then I peace out again before the Boss can counter, and the chase is on once more. All the while, Nightfury and Lis simply stay out of the way and shoot as often as they can. It''s a great system, and we manage to fairly quickly take out another chunk of bad Boss HP before shit, yet again, hits the fan. The rampage ends right about where it began, and immediately, Mr. Bardy raises the harp for devastation. Impressively, Lis is the first to raise the rm. He may not be physically able to keep up with us yet, but he has a solid grasp of reading the flow of a battle and keeping track of important details. Nightfury passes back the final two Ice Runes, and Lis shoots the harp-controlling head squarely in the forehead. He freezes just like all the other times...except this time, Mr. Burny has wised up. A familiar glow appears in the dragon''s chest, and we realize the middle head is nning to use fire breath to melt the Ice on Mr. Bardy before Nightfury cannd another eye-shot. Cursing up a storm, Nightfury fires too quickly and misses. Lis and I jump in to cover for him; the dryad shoots the final Ice Rune at Mr. Burny and quells the mes, while I draw my Unseelie Bow and shoot Mr. Bardy in the eye. Nightfury shoots his second arrow at almost the same time, and both of our hitsnd, one iron-tipped projectile per eye. "Nice!" we both yell simultaneously. And then we both groan, rmed at how in sync we are, and silently agree to pretend the simultaneous cheering thing never happened. "Aww, you guys are friends now!" Lis gushes, pping us both on the back. Damnit. Unfortunately, there''s no time to refute Lis'' optimism, as we need to deal as much damage as possible during the Freeze. Staying out of reach of Mr. Bitey, weunch an all-out attack, and everyone''s DPS hits its peak. By the time all three heads are again operational, we''ve severely reduced Ailln Trechend''s HP and started feeling like we might actually be able to take this sucker down. And then the most beautiful, haunting melody fills the crypt, and we realize our optimism was premature. Turns out, after hitting the Yellow Zone, nothing, not even arrows to the eye, fully interrupts the dragon''s bard skills. The Freeze paused the musical attack, but the second Mr. Bardy was fully functional again, the dragon''s ws started thrumming the giant golden harp. As soon as I hear the magical song, a wave of drowsiness unlike any fatigue I''ve ever experienced pours over me like warm msses, and seeps into my bones. Only my honed gamer instincts force my hands to form the seals to store Zen''aku before my muscles entirely give out and I copse. You may take my life, dragon bastard, but you''ll never take my beloved Nova weapons! {The Ailln Luby ensnares you!} {Willpower Check...} {Your Will is Strong. You Escape the Soul-Burner''s Luby of Lethargy!} I wrench open my eyes just in time to witness a red-orange inferno hurtling towards me. My brain is still a little foggy in the aftermath of the spell, so I do the first thing that pops into my head: I stop, realize I''ve already dropped, and aggressively barrel-roll to the left. Smokey the Bear, the American fire safety mascot, would be so proud. When the mes pass by, the adrenaline finally kicks my brain back into gear, and I remember how feet work, so I stand up. This proves a good choice, since two secondster, I end up running for my life away from a three-headed dragon''s thunderous charge. "Oi, you not dead yet?" a familiar voice asks as a figure in a wide-brimmed hat joins me on my death-defying Sprint. "Apparently not," I reply. "How''d you make it out alive?" Nightfury mumbles unintelligibly. Pasting on my widest smirk, I hold a hand to my pointed ear. "Sorry, couldn''t quite catch that." "Said I guess I owe you one for the Fortitude bonus, you cheeky bastard," he repeats louder. Truly, the reluctance in the gruff admission is all the payment I need, but I won''t tell him that. Instead, I settle for a smug smile as we continue to avoid the onught of attacks from the impressively pissed off dragon. "Lis?" "Extra crispy." "Ouch." "Yup," Nightfury agrees. "So it''s down to us, huh?" "Joy." "Don''t be like that. It''ll be fun!" Nightfury harrumphs in response. Grinning, I screech to a halt and turn to face the Boss head-on. "You crazy sonuva--" Nightfury yells in disbelief. Then he heaves the most put-upon sigh I''ve ever heard, before he, too, stops to face the music. (Hehe. Get it? ''Cause the dragon''s still ying the evil sleepytime harp? I repeat, hehe.) "You better have a n," he mutters. "Who ns?" I shrug. "Gods damnit," he sighs, but he doesn''t run. He just grips his bow and prepares to go down fighting. Right as we''re about to be trampled, fried, and eaten, I cast my brand-new spell Breath of the Dying. Lightning-crackling fog shoots from my fingers and surrounds the Boss. The swirling gray banks all the mes on the tiles around us. Suddenly, the Boss''s heads are moving so slowly, it''s painfully easy to avoid the various attacks. "Where did you learn that?" Nightfury asks, dumbfounded. "The Banshee," I reply gleefully. "Dude, I would have rolled you for it!" "And done what with it?" I ask skeptically. "I took the skillbook because no one in your party even has the initial spell Lux, so you can''t learn any other magic spells yet." "I can''t believe your first real spell is a CC! Most games, the first spell is Fireball." "Viren''s Refuge is not most games." "No shit. We''ve been chased around a dungeon by a fire-breathing dragon, and I can fucking feel the heat of the mes every time I almost die!" "Awesome, right?!" "Something is wrong with you." "Thank you!" "Not apliment, ya crazy fucker!" I draw Zen''aku. "So, we doing this?" Nightfury rolls his eyes. "Obviously." Without looking at me, he holds out a fist. I knock it with my own, and take off to y a dragon. --- "Oh, by the way, before we kill him, I need to steal the Boss''s harp." "Of course you do." "Wanna help?" "Not even a little." "Gonna help anyway?" "I hate you." "Thanks!" Chapter 50: Return of the Characters from like Ten Chapters Ago Chapter 50: Return of the Characters from like Ten Chapters Ago Thirty meters from the Lough Gur Dolmen, 113rge stone pirs form the mysterious Grange Stone Circle. One pir is split in two by a determined flowering hawthorn tree growing up right through the middle of the stone, and a mystical aura surrounds it. The air shimmers above the grass in the center of the stone circle, and five demihuman yers materialize. A party wipe has just taken them all out in one go, sending them here, to the exit point for the Dolmen Dungeon. Oblivious to their arrival, a bat-faced Camazotz sits under the hawthorn, holding a delicate blossom in his wed hands. His extrarge ears twitch as he sniffles, his glowing green eyes at once fearsome and also somehow sad as he stares down at the white petals littering the ground around him. "They die without me..." he murmurs and plucks a single petal. It slowly flutters to the grass in front of the hulking brown bat-man. "They survive on their own..." pluck. "Die," pluck. "Survive," pluck. "Die," pluck. "Is he...okay?" Taliesin, a Pu''ca in the recently-killed party, asks, concern clear in his young voice. Currently in his horned shadow cat shift, his tail whips back and forth as he stares at the bizarre sight. Another party member, Jade Thorn, fiddles with one of her powder blue Draegkyn horns, looking more confused than concerned. "Doesn''t he realize all hawthorn flowers have exactly five petals? So like...whatever he starts with is always what it ends with?" Her loud voice carries across the grassy meadow, and the Camazotz freezes, stricken. "Looks like he didn''t know," her friend Kara Geir responds, absently twirling her Valkyrie spear. Rahotep the Anubis Warrior snickers, and the Camazotz slumps, embarrassed. The game animation makes a faint pink blush appear on the dark red-brown cheeks of his otherwise terrifying bat face. It''s disconcerting, to say the least. "You''re a dick, Rah," Jade says tly. Rahotep''s snideughter cuts off. "Aw, don''t be that way," he whines, then turns to the Camazotz. "I didn''t mean nothing by it, all right, bruh?" "It''s fine," the bat-man says quickly, waving his hands to say it''s nothing. "Who are you worried died?" Taliesin asks him. "Oh, um...my Party''s still inside the Dolmen," the Camazotz replies. "Pretty pathetic when the Party Leader''s the first one taken down, huh?" Jade looks sympathetic. "Ouch." "Bummer, bruh," Rahotep agrees. "Lemme guess; you''re more worried they might be fine without you, right? Kinda awk if they don''t need the PL to survive." The Camazotz starts choking, looking even more miserable and flustered. Nanuk the shaman Party Leader smacks Rahotep upside the head and pierces him with a stony re. The stern expression clearly says, "Shut up, dumbass," but since Nanuk''s kid brother Taliesin is around, he settles for the silentmunication. Honestly, his steely stare is so unnerving, Rahotep would greatly prefer the verbal abuse. "Are they running Nightmare?" Taliesin asks, oblivious to the awkward tension. The Camazotz nods. "Then they''ll be joining you in death any second. That run is freaking impossible," Jadeins, flipping her short bubblegum pink hair. Kara frowns in agreement, frustrated at their inability to beat the dungeon. The Camazotz looksforted by the thought, then immediately looks guilty. A shimmer in the stone circle interrupts them, and a blue-winged D''Raven materializes. "Shadeyer!" the Camazotz calls out, jumping to his feet. "Damn damn, double damn!" Shadeyer curses. "Whyyy am I such a friggin idiot?" "What happened? Did you guys beat the Hidden Boss?" Nanuk''s party all perk up at that. Shadeyer huffs. "Old news, Kane. We were on our third Hidden Boss, but then I panicked." He sighs, crestfallen. "And now I''ve probably been demoted back to dead weight." "Huh?" Kane tilts his head, confused. "Three Hidden Bosses!?" Taliesin repeats, astonished. There''s a small ''Pop!'' as he reverts back to his human form in his shock. The Camazotz, Kane, ushers Shadeyer off to the side, presumably asking him to exin what happened after he got ganked. Nanuk''s party crowd together as well, curiosity lighting their faces. "You don''t think he meant three Hidden Bosses in a single run, do you?" Jade asks Nanuk. The shaman crosses his arms. "I suppose it''s possible," he answers finally. He and Kara had both seen some crazy aspects of the game during the beta, so he knows better than to assume anything. A few minutester, there''s another shimmer, and this time, a Meliae dryad appears in the circle. Grimacing, Shadeyer runs over to him. "Lis, not you, too! How many heads does the dragon still have?" "Dragon?!" "Heads?!" "Were they really doing the same dungeon we did?!" Lis shrugs, helpless. "Dunno. Mr. Bardy put his evil tunage whammy on me, and I never woke up, not even when Mr. Burny must have smoked me." Nanuk''s party members turn to each other in confusion, each assuming they''d heard wrong. Not for the first time, twenty-seven-year-old Nanuk worries he''s getting old. ''I have no fucking clue what any of those words meant,'' he thinks, despairing. Shadeyer kicks the ground. "Damn. We were so close!" "We might still beat the run," Lis argues. Kane shakes his head. "No way they can defeat the Boss Shadeyer described with just the two of them!" Lis raises a leafy eyebrow. "Uh, is there really much difference between the two of them fighting versus all five of us fighting?" Every member of Nanuk''s party winces. That stung so deep, even random eavesdropping bystanders felt it. "Good point!" Shadeyer exims, eyes bright with renewed hope. "Dayumnnnnn," Rahotep hisses under his breath. ''Die, die, die, die, die,'' Kane prays feverishly. [World Notification: Congrattions to Erebus and Nightfury for being the first yers to sessfully survive a Nightmare Mode Dungeon! Rewarded +50 World Reputation Points, +100 Silver, +50,000 EXP] [Realm Notification (Gael): FIRST CLEAR Dolmen Dungeon Nightmare Mode - Erebus, Nightfury, Lis, Shadeyer, Kane ; Party Members Rewarded +100 Gael Reputation Points, +50 Silver +25,000 EXP, Mythic Hero Bonus] "No fucking way," Kane says. "No fucking way!" Shadeyer, Lis, and Nanuk''s bystander party say. "Yes fucking way," Erebus disagrees as he materializes in the stone circle with Nightfury. "What fucking way?" Nightfury asks, confused. "No fucking idea," Erebus replies, unconcerned. Chapter 51: Limbs All Around Chapter 51: Limbs All Around Our entrance causes a bit of a stir in the Grange Stone Circle. "It''s you!" a young Pu`ca yells while dramatically pointing at me. "It''s me!" I agree, sping my chest with both hands. "Liamer, Taliesinwhat are you doing? Stop pointing at people!" an older Inuit Shaman chides, yanking the kid away to where the rest of his party seems to be huddled in the shadow of a pir. "But, bro! That''s the guy! That''s HIM!" "Yeah, I''m him," I say, nodding authoritatively. "Who would that be?" I whisper to Nightfury. "The guy, apparently," he replies. "You are a veritable fount of knowledge." For some reason, the shaman seems familiar, so I try to get a read on the rest of the rando party. However, I can''t get a good look at them before Shadeyer and Lis have jumped on me and pulled me the other direction across the stone circle, demanding my full attention. They''re as bad as Pix when Ie back from running errands: "You were gone SO LONG I was sure you had DIED and left me FOREVER, and by the way I stress-ate your couch and exactly three non-matching shoes but it''s not my fault and really aren''t they better this way? Slobber is good for the skin!" Luckily for them, I find puppies endearing. The random bystander party is clearly eavesdropping as Nightfury and I describe our battle, but I don''t particrly care. Not like anything that happened is all that replicable, unless they, too, share my penchant for pissing off the devs enough to have an Epic Beast sed on them. (In which case, more power to them, and I''m happy to help spread the chaos!) I simply ignore them and stifle a wry grin as they slowly edge closer the more intense the battle description gets. "How''d you make it out alive after the CC spell ended?" Shadeyer asks after we''ve exined how well the battle progressed once he''d died. "I kicked it," I exin. "Come again?" "I kicked the dragon." Shadeyer and Lis look questioningly at Nightfury. Shrugging, he adjusts his hat. "Literally what he said. Erebus got pissy because we couldn''t get the Boss to drop his harp" "I wouldn''t say pissy," I object, but he ignores me. "so he stomped up to the dragon and kicked it in the ankle." Eight pairs of incredulous eyes bore into me. The stares are so intense it freaks me out, so I end up watching the clouds floatzily overhead as I try to exin that the system had some catching up to do. My 8% chance to induce Paralysis hadn''t triggered in over 500 kicks, so then BAM, I ended up triggering it 6 kicks in a row. Not only did I manage to disarm the harp and steal it for my upgrade, but we also managed to y an Epic Three-headed Dragon, so suffice it to say I am no longer anywhere close to "pissy." (What I don''t mention is how this made for an interesting experiment in testing the limits of Fickle Fortune nerfing, and now I wanna see if I get to 1000 kicks before it ends, if I''m gonna get like 50 Paralysis kicks in a row.) In the stunned silence that follows my calm description of dragon ying, I look back down. Right into the striking violet eyes of my Valkyrie Goddess. No wonder that shaman looked familiar! He''s her Party Leader, the one who thought I was too noob to run a dungeon with them. ''Thank you, Fickle Fortune, for giving me this chance to exin away my middle school-worthy cringe behavior so soon!'' I enthusiastically think to the winds of fate. I put on my most sincere smile, which is mostly a slightly-less-smug smirk, and step towards Kara Geir, Goddess of my Dreams. "Hi, I''m Erebus," I say. Aloud, with actual words. Boom. PROGRESS. She smiles, and I''m transported back to that arena, flirting from afar and beating up pervs. Good times. And then her lovely lips open to say what I''m sure will be lovely words when s, our fated flirtation is once again thwarted. "Oh. My. God. You''re hot runner guy!" a pink-haired cockblock shouts. I wince at the reminder. "About that" I try to exin. "Nuh-uh! He''s the awesome guy I saw in Lough Gur who tricked that thief into killing himself!" the Pu`ca Liam/Taliesin shouts over me. "This is the guy you were stalking?" Party Leader Nanuk the Shaman asks him, surprised. Not more surprised than me, though. He was what now? "Not stalking. Following!" Taliesin corrects. Uh. Is that actually different? "Why exactly" I try again. "WAIT," interrupts annoying Anubis dude-bro. "So this is video guy?" He turns an eerily Ken-like grin on me. "Yo, Boxers Bro!" Everyone, including Draegkyn girl and Valkyrie Goddess Kara, nces down at my crotch, as if to double-check that the pink boxers with "HERO" syed across the ass are still hidden by pants. I make eye contact with Nightfury. "Kill me," I silently plead. "Not even," he replies, and I can almost hear his sadistic mentalughter. "I suppose I owe you an apology," Nanuk says in his usual gruff voice. At this point, my soul has pretty much left my body, so I''m not even sure what he''s trying to apologize for. "Clearly, you weren''t too under-leveled to help us clear Nightmare. I should have listened to Kara and tried harder to convince you to join our Party," he says, and surprisingly, he legitimately sounds sorry. I open my mouth, but don''t say anything. Subconsciously, I think I''m waiting for yet someone else to interrupt me. But then no one does, so that gets awkward real quick. I cough to cover it up. "Ahem, uh, no worries. It was better, this way. I needed a ton of upgrade materials, and working with Kane''s party worked more in my favor for that." Fiiiinally. I have exined why I ran like an idiot. I shoot Nanuk a grateful look, which he probably misinterprets, but whatever. Kara Geir is nodding in understanding, and her Draegkyn friend Jade Thorn is whispering something that sounds a lot like, "See, told you Hot Guy wasn''t just running away for no reason. Operation: Hook up with Hot Guymence!" I amend my previous cockblock statement. Wing. Fucking. Woman. "HAHA!" Shadeyerughs triumphantly. "See? Erebus needed US to beat that dungeon! You guys wouldn''t have helped him at all!" The awkward intensifies as no one knows how to deal with just how dumb Shadeyer is. In the end, we all silently agree to let him carry on with his delusion. "Anywayyy," I move us along, "sorry I couldn''t help you guys score a First Clear this time, but I''d be happy to help you with the next one." Jade jabs Kara in the side with her elbow. "Oof. Uh. I mean, that might be interesting," Kara says. Grinning, Jade winks at me. I decide to send her the next cool steel armor I find. "What''s so interesting?" Anubis-bro protests, toothy grin gone as quickly as it had appeared. "I doubt he did anything that different from us." Lisughs and Shadeyer looks like he''s about to get huffy, so I calm him with a hand on his arm. Ignoring Rahotep, I grin at Kara. "Might be? Sounds like a challenge." She raises that perfectly arched eyebrow again, amused-yet-unimpressed. "It''s simply been my experience that one man''s ''interesting'' is another woman''s ''so bored I''m making a mental grocery list until this is over''." I step closer and pitch my voice lower. "The only people bored on a team with me, are those too weak to keep up." Fire shes in her amethyst eyes, and she, too, steps closer. Bare centimeters separate us. "If you''re even twice as good as you think you are," she says, voice low and rich as dark chocte, "I''m still twice as good as that." Instinctively, I feel the need to draw Zen''aku and challenge this mind-blowing woman to a duel. That, or strip back down to those boxers and hope she''ll have her way with me. I check the time at the bottom of my vision. It''s still early. We have time for both. "Why don''t we" I manage to get out before: "EEEEEEK!" Shadeyer screams like a five-year-old girl and hides behind Lis, pointing up at the hawthorn tree behind me. "What the" I turn, and holy shitballs, I kinda want to scream and hide behind Lis, too, because there is a creepy four-armed, four-legged ck-skinned spider dude descending upside down from the tree on a thick strand of silver webbing. Now this, my dudes, is a bonafide cockblock. "KILL IT WITH FIRE!" the other party''s Anubis Warrior yells, and Shadeyer vigorously nods in agreement. "Greetings," terrifying spider-dude says in a rich, rumbling bass voice. "I am Anansi, God of Storytelling." "Right. Hello then," I say, and if my voice squeaks a little, who can me me? Spider God calmly flips over to settle upon the ground on only two bare feet, leaving all six remaining limbs protruding at odd angles from his lean, but muscr body. He''s technically all human parts, just too many of them. He''s wearing only an orange toga-y sarong-type thing that wraps around his waist and across one shoulder. "Erebus. Are you the Leader who led his Party to victory and secured the first Nightmare Mode Clear?" "I guess?" He smiles, too wide to be natural, with too many teeth. It''s a trickster''s smile, mischievous and wicked. It sends shivers down my spine, but I paste my own mischievous smirk on my face, more out of stubbornness than anything. His smile widens a fraction more, and his ck eyes gleam. Then he snaps fingers on all four hands, and everyone not in our Party disappears. Including the woman I think might be the love of my life. Except I can''t know for sure because fate keeps conspiring against me. GODS DAMNIT. Shadeyer screams again. "Where''d they go? Are they DEAD?" "Fear not." Anansi widens his arms in what I think is supposed to be a calming "we''re all in this together" hug-like gesture. (It''s not. It''s more e here so I can suck the lifeblood out of you," but it''s nice he''s trying.) "The others have been sent back to Lough Gur. They have not earned the right to hear the God of Storytelling speak." Oooooh. My Quest Sense is tingling. Depending on how a quest is activated, often the game makes it impossible for outsiders to overhear the quest details. "Congrattions! As a special reward, I, the Great Anansi, Collector of Tales, havee to spirit you off on an epic adventure!" ''This is probably a ploy to eat me, but WHO CARES; I AM SO THERE!'' I think, mentally freaking out. "Oh. Cool," I say, outwardly chill as the God himself. "As both Party Leader and Highest Contributor, you have the option to travel with your entire Party or as a Solo yer. Please note, however, that this quest has been triggered earlier than expected, and is not advised for yers under Level 15." I''m only Level 13 right now, but my stats are insanely stacked, so I''m not worried about myself at all. The others, however, are a different story... I make eye contact with the rest of the guys, who I realize have ditched me to back up halfway across the circle. Kane still looks agonized over the fact that we secured a First Clear pretty much entirely without him. Shadeyer looks exhausted from the constant dungeon battles, which seems odd, since he did jack all during them. Lis looks excited, and terrified, and ready for anything except perhapsing within ten meters of a giant spider god. Nightfury looks constipated. Pretty sure it''s his desire to see what special event we just triggered warring with his even stronger desire to be rid of me (and also start his chain quest to rid himself of his Ugly Ass Cursed Hat.) He''s also, naturally, the only one who truly understands how difficult this quest could be for underleveled yers. A little ding grabs my attention. [Quest Query: Will you ept Anansi''s quest {Investigate the Tumult in the Realms, Part I: Gael}?] Then it offers options for epting with party, epting solo, or denying the quest. "How does the quest work? Could my party join inter, or is it a now or never type deal?" Anansi folds two of his arms, rests the third one on his hip, and holds his chin with thest. Ultra thinking pose! (I''m guessing this question wasn''t originally part of his programming, so the AI must be determining which way to take it.) Curious, I take the time to make use of my Thread Reader skill to see what level a god might be. To my surprise, he reads: [Anansi, God of Storytelling] [Level - HP ] Level Infinity, huh? Guess this means gods are essentially Immortal Objects. Gods and underwear. This game is weird. "I have given thought to your query," Anansi answers atst. "As the only yer who has qualified for the solo quest, your party cannot progress on the quest journey without you. However, there is no reason that they may not join you as you progress yourself." Thank fuck. I so did not want to carry leechers along a Main Storyline Quest, but I also so did not want to dick over my party because they suck too much to be helpful. "This quest contains many parts," Anansi continues. "Every time you seed with an A Rating or higher, at the beginning of the subsequent chain quest, you will be given the chance to add your Party or revert to Solo." This is the best possible oue, and the other guys know it, too. Before I can say a word, Lis beats me to it with an easy smile. "So it''s goodbye for now, wouldn''t you say?" "Might be best," I agree lightly. "Don''t worry, we''re gonna level up so much, we''ll never be dead weight again!" Shadeyer promises passionately. "Leveling is great, but more importantly, all of you need to finish the Foundation Vige skills you skipped. None of you learned Lux, and you two," I level my most judgmental stare at Shadeyer and Kane, "never even learned Dodge, arguably the single-most important skill." ''Get your shit together,'' is what I don''t say, but everyone seems to hear me loud and clear anyway. Kane looks embarrassed and maybe even a little angry, but Shadeyer smacks his cheeks and looks pumped, ready to get stronger. "Just don''t fuck up and ruin the chain quest," Nightfury says in his usual gruff voice. "I could say the same for you," I retort, flicking the brim of his hat. "Good luck Curse-breaking." Fixing his hat, he grumbles, "Good luck not being killed for being the world''s greatest asshole." "Luck''s got nothing to do with it." (I hope.) With a deep breath, and a grin I can''t repress, I select {ept Quest - Solo Adventure}. Chapter 52: Punting Womb Gremlins Chapter 52: Punting Womb Gremlins Anansi spirits me away to Gleann Bheatha, a forest on the opposite side of Gael. Before I can ask why we needed to travel hundreds of kilometers when inter-city teleportation hasn''t been activated yet, the Spider-God gives me a mysterious wink and Poof! He ditches my ass in a grove of birch trees. And this is why I hate dealing with Trickster Gods. Sigh. I open my Quest Log, hoping for more information. Or, any information, for that matter. {Investigate the Tumult in the Realms, Part I: Gael} || Anansi travels all across the World Tree, collecting tales and secrets. Lately, all the stories he hears have an undercurrent of unease and fear. Dark murmurings fill the Realm; peace is elusive. A malignancy grows from within Gael, and he has tasked you to uncover its source.|| Well that''s ominous. Not even slightly helpful, but full marks for mood, game story writers! There''s a good way to deal with a vague "Investigate" quest when you''re rtively sure you''re in the right-ish location: wander around hoping something interesting happens. So that''s what I do. It''s not as much of a chore as it might be in other open-world games. I''m legit jogging around a fae forest, with towering moss-covered trees, rushing waterfalls, and a decent assortment of Lvl 15-18 woond mobs. It''s like hiking IRL, except better because you don''t get sweaty and there''s no bugs. In what seems like no time, I''ve grinded to the cusp of Lvl 14 and stumbled across an NPC named Birg sitting by a pond, bawling her eyes out. Oho, a clue. Seems she''s lost her baby, and she''s convinced he''s been snatched by an Unseelie (dark) fae. Not sure how baby-napping fits into the grand Tumult scheme, but I ept her quest {Find Baby Lugh} anyway. Birg may be disguised as a rando peasant, but the teardrop gem dangling from her forehead band looks an awful lot like an emerald, and I''m pretty sure the custom pin holding her raggedy cloak closed is solid gold. I can practically see the glittering rewards filling my inventory already. But, like, I''m also doing this to save her baby, for sure. ----- "Fuck this game and its fucking obsession with babies," I grumble savagely, an hourter. Using the smattering of clues from Birg, I manage to locate her kid in a cave hidden behind a waterfall. But what she failed to mention was that her baby is a slobbery, constantly crying mess of a tiny human, and I''m unconvinced it''s worth saving. As if that weren''t enough, the bastard baby-snatcher is a Changeling, and once it realized I could kick its ass, it decided to Change into a carbon copy of Birg''s brat. So now I''m covering my over-sensitive ears, staring at two screaming, crying babies, trying to figure out which one is the sniveling womb gremlin, and which one is the Changeling. It''s not a perfect Change; one baby Lugh has a triskele (triple spiral) birthmark on its right foot, and the other has it on the left. But since I was too busy beating on a Changeling to check the baby''s feet when I first arrived, this knowledge is exactly meaningless to me. Ughhh fuck a duck. I can''t remember any other way to detect a Changeling. I''m tempted to just bring them both back and let Birg figure it out, but I think that''ll dock me points, and if this quest is rted to the Tumult, I need to score an A rating so the guys can rejoin me. The wailing is driving me insane, so I give up and search the forums. Unsurprisingly, the consensus is to look for the subtle differences, or cast a Moonbeam anti-shapeshift spell, neither of which are helpful to me. But one beta user had a different take: Ivan the Tolerable: You can always just punch them. They don''t like that. Hm. --- Lawful Good Erebus: Don''t do it. Punching babies = bad. Lawful Evil Erebus: But you''ve already punched a baby, right? That oil-licking baby. Lawful Good Erebus: Once is already too many times! Lawful Evil Erebus: Then once more won''t make a difference. Besides, creepy ghost baby deserved it, and so does this Changeling. They''re not real babies. It''s fine. Lawful Good Erebus: We''re going to hell. Lawful Evil Erebus: Then the devs who designed this fucked up game areing with us. -- So anyway, that''s how I ended up punching a baby for the second time in one day. To be clear, I punched an evil kidnapper Changeling who just happened to *look* like a baby, so it doesn''t even count, probably. Both babies were in the same cradle, so I pulled my arm way back and then released a battle cry as I brought my fist hurtling down toward the crying monsters. Right-foot tattoo boy just kept on crying and being a menace; left-foot triskele baby''s cries cut off for a second as he flinched. Bingo. I pulled the punch a lot, actually, so I wouldn''t identally injure Real Baby, but it was more than enough to convince the Changeling to revert back to its fae form. Two minutester, I''m walking out of a cave with a baby in one arm and my crossbow ready to shoot dangerous mobs on the other. Twenty minutester, I''m standing in a clearing, strongly considering shooting the baby with the crossbow. Or maybe shooting him *from* the crossbow? That could be cool. "Waaahhhh!" goes the godsforsaken baby. "Raaawr!" goes yet another monster drawn to our location by baby cries. "FINE! JUST EAT HIM THEN!" goes me, as I hold the baby out so the approaching bear can just take it and me out of our collective misery. "Um, am I interrupting a blood sacrifice?" goes a familiar voice from the edge of the clearing. I whirl to face the neer, baby still dangling. "Taliesin? What the hell?!" "''Sup, Erebus!" the teenage Pu`ca greets cheerfully. In his human form, he reminds me strongly of my neighbor Robbie. Then he shoots lightning at the giant bear, zapping half its HP in one hit, before dashing forward and hacking it to pieces with a shortsword, and he reminds me more of a badass monster in kid''s clothing. So, he reminds me of me at that age. "What are you doing here?" I ask, ck-jawed in surprise. "Looking for you," he replies, as if it should be obvious. Considering this kid''s brother called him a stalker earlier, maybe it is. Though I desperately want to follow this line of inquiry, more pressing matters are currently wailing in my arms. Another roar sounds, different from the bear, and I know we''re seconds away from fighting off a hungry horde of badger-like mobs. I re at the baby. "I''m gonna punt it." "No punting babies, Erebus." Taliesin tsks at me. "It won''t stop crying! And apparently baby cries are like God''s Gift to Aggro-Pulling, because monsters are swarming from every inch of this damn forest, and I don''t know if I can take this any longer!" So maybe this is not the cool, collected vibe I normally try to exude. (I am the darkness, damnit. *Sniffle of frustration*) "No problemo!" Taliesin says with far more enthusiasm than I am capable of mustering, ever. "Give him here." "Eh?" I ask, but then the teen is taking the baby and making funny faces at it and these weird cooing sounds, AND THEN THE BABY STOPS CRYING AND IT''S A GODDAMN MIRACLE. "How... What....?" I blink at the boy in wonder. "I have a bunch of younger siblings," Taliesin exins, eyes still smiling down at the little slobber monster carefully tucked in his arms. Huh. So that''s how you hold a baby. (I may or may not have been carrying it by the tie in its nket, like a bento bag.) The first of the badgers arrive with a screech, and I see the telltale signs of little Lugh getting upset again. "Fuck no! Kid, I''ll take care of this! You just keep that little bastard from crying!" "Uh, okay?" Taliesin says. "DIE, WOODLAND SCUM!" --- -Ten Minutes Later- --- Once every possible scary thing in the vicinity that might make baby Lugh upset have been vanquished, we start heading back toward Birg. Normally, I would never let someone tag along on a solo quest, especially a possible stalker. But every time I get anywhere near the baby, it starts crying again. So. Desperate times, my friends. "How did you get here?" I ask Taliesin, once we''ve walked in silence for a bit. His eyes gleam with excitement, and it''s adorable but also I''m mildly scared for my life. He doesn''t have an assassin vibe, but I guess the best assassins wouldn''t, right? "Secret racial perk," he exins. "Pu`cas can use the fae portals in Gael. Isn''t that awesome?" Actually yes, that is insanely awesome, and now I''m psyched to figure out what special perk I''ll have in the Japanese realm, but that is hardly the point! "But how did you find me? How''d you know I was here, specifically?" "I asked your friend. Ran into your old party in Lough Gur Town, and he said Anansi announced ''Gleann Bheatha'' as you two stepped through the Hawthorn Faery Portal. So then I found another portal and followed you," he says, unconcerned, as if that''s a perfectly normal course of action. "Which friend?" I ask, though I''m fairly sure I already know who would sell me out to a stalker. "Nightfury." Snake bastard. "He wanted me to give you a message if I found you, too. Um, ''y nice. Pretty Boy Geniuses have to take care of their fan clubs, right?'' Not sure what he was talking about, though..." Taliesin''s face scrunches in confusion, and he looks back down at the peaceful baby in his arms. I do. I am so going to kill him. Chapter 53: Technically Correct, Ethically Questionable Chapter 53: Technically Correct, Ethically Questionable [Quest Complete! Youpleted {Find Baby Lugh}] [Quest Sess Rating: A Youpleted this mission well within all set parameters. Though you couldn''t appease the target baby on your own, you demonstrated sound judgment by epting outside help during the return journey. However. YOU PUNCHED A BABY. Nova Protocols deemed this an imperfect tactic for determining the Changeling''s identity, given the danger presented to poor Baby Lugh. As such, your final sess rating is A: Technically Correct, but Ethically Questionable] [Quest Reward: +1000 EXP; +500 Reputation among Tuatha de Danann; Unquantifiable Good Will and Personal Gratitude from Birg and Gavigan the cksmith] --- Why the AI gotta be so damn sassy? "I''m sorry for the punching the baby, okay!? I have regrets!" I apologize-yell at the system screen. "You punched the baby?" Taliesin gasps, shocked, and Birg clutches Lugh even closer. "Jeez, no, I didn''t punch the real baby." Great. Now a literal stalker is looking at me like I''M the monster here. It takes a hot minute to chill Birg out and get back on the good side of that "unquantifiable good will," but eventually she acknowledges I''m her baby''s savior or whatever, and I im my Secret Rich Lady Loot. [ Changeling Hood ] {Blue} To Equip: Stealth Level 5 + Charisma 5 || Why be you, when you could be someone else? This roguish cowl is more than just a fashion essory; imbued with Changeling magic, this hood can alter your entire appearance. +10% Defense, Lessens Headshot Damage Received by 20%, +3 Intelligence, +1 Perception Passive Skill: Secret Identity - Your name, level, and HP will remain imperceptible to others, unless you choose to show them or they have a higher-tiered perception skill/item Active Skill: Disguise Self - Changes appearance and voice. You determine race, sex, and age; the system randomly creates avatar. Gear, equipment, and skills remain unaffected. Note: Once a random avatar has been created, future uses of Disguise Self will allow you to create a new avatar or use one already created. Active Skill: Copy Change - Impersonate a particr NPC or PC; the system will automatically change your avatar to match the target''s. Lasts 2 Hours; Cooldown: 12 Hours Warning: As with real Changeling shifts, no Copy Change will be exactly perfect. If caught, skill will be forcibly cancelled.|| Not only does this hood have the coolest special skills, it''s also beautifully crafted, fly as all hell, and perfectly aligns with my roguish aesthetic! I immediately equip it, because duh, and I thank Birg for the amazing swag. She must appreciate my effusive thanks, because then Birg up and admits she''s misled me, and Lugh isn''t actually her kid. She takes off her raggedy cloak to reveal a pretty green elven dress, nature tattoos winding across her chest and the gorgeous boobs spilling out of her dress (gods I love video game artists), and borate elven jewelry. Turns out, she''s actual Birg, uber powerful Druidess who''s essentially ady version of Merlin (but less of a dick. ugh, wizards are the WORST.) Also, apparently annoying womb gremlin Lugh is a Celtic mythological King Arthur-type character, and I''ve just hit Main Storyline Quest (MSQ) jackpot. I can tell the VR equivalent of a super vital cutscene is about to start, so I go to tell Taliesin it''s time to fuck right off... ...but he just looks SO EXCITED and SO INTRIGUED and he keeps telling me how I am SO AWESOME AND SO COOL AND SO MYSTERIOUS... ...and I cave. I''m not proud. But I also do kinda owe the little stalker fanboy for convincing me not to punt Realm Savior Baby, so I let him tag along as Birg takes us to a secret hut / cksmith forge. My goodwill doesn''t extend further than that, of course; I make him stay outside while I go in to get the MSQ deets. If he wants the deets, he needs to do this quest on his own. Let''s see HIM beat the Changeling bastard without punching a baby. Inside, a giant, burly shirtless guy in a leather apron nervously fiddles with swords and battle axes spread out on a counter. He''s even more jacked than Vige Chief Tarabu, covered in burns and scars, and so grizzled and hairy I wouldn''t be surprised to learn he''s half-bear. [Legendary cksmith Gavigan] shines quest-orange above his shaggy head. Then he sees Baby Lugh, and he immediately stops fussing with his weapons to take the baby from Birg and start fussing over it instead. He makes the same cooing sounds Taliesin used earlier, and doesn''t stop smiling even when tiny hands w at his wiry beard and pull hard enough to bring tears to his eyes. It''s like watching Hagrid babysit Harry Potter. Odd, but endearing. Gavigan turns his happy, watery eyes on the Druidess. "Birg, you found him! Thank Danu you found my son!" Birg easily sidesteps out of Gavigan''s reach as he tries to hug her. "Not at all. You should thank young Erebus here; he''s the one who rescued Lugh from a Changeling." "Erebus! Thank you!" Gavigan cries. "It was nothingoof!" I start to say, before I''m crushed in a hug by a sobbing half-naked giant. What is with this game and burly crybaby NPCs? It''s Chief Tarabu all over again. Sighing, I awkwardly pat Gavigan''s bicep and wait it out. Finally, he releases his death grip of gratitude, and we can get down to business with this duo exining what the heck''s going on. "You''ve asked me about the Tumult in the Realms," Birg says in a deep, trancelike voice. It''s mesmerizing, and I answer her even though I can see Gavigan''s eyes harden in suspicion and his fingers reach for a hammer. "Yes. I would like to know what''s causing the unease in Gael." "What are you ying at, Birg?" Gavigan''s voice is cold now. "How far are you willing to trust this outsider?" "He is the hero who saved your only child," she reminds him. Gavigan bows his head to look at the bundle in his arms. "And for that, I owe him my very life." He looks back up, fierce and determined. "But that does not mean I owe him the power over the lives of all our People." "We need help, Gavigan," Birg argues. "Our People will not survive if we do not act." "Our People will not survive if we trust too freely!" Gavigan bellows. "Or do you not remember what led to our current downfall?" The air is literally crackling between them, sparks of magic in response to the fierce emotions they''re both experiencing. I''m afraid to even breathe. But then I hear the faint sound of wood chimes, and I have to know, so I breathe in through my nose. The air smells like ck licorice. ''No no no, not now, I don''t have time for this nonsense,'' I think, frantic. I look around for a clue as to what craziness is about to strike now, and I just so happen to knock into a disy stand. As luck would have it (of course), the stand is overfilled and too heavy on one side, so the whole thing crashes into a worktable, which in turn causes a box of tools to tumble off the table and crash to the floor. One of the tools bounces off the floor into the roaring firece, causing one of the burning logs to roll out of the firece onto a braided rug. Then the rug catches fire, and I realize I''m about to burn down the house of the guy who already doesn''t trust me, and I''m never going to trigger the friggin'' chain quest. "Fuuuuuu" *BANG! Like a whirlwind, Taliesin barges through the door with a bang, sword drawn, *CRASH! then he trips over one of the fallen hammers, crashing into the kitchen table, *SPLASH! and knocks a pitcher of mead onto the ming carpet, *Sizzzzzzle. immediately putting out the fire. Without thinking, I''d drawn Zen, ready to fight whatever monster my fickle fortune was going to throw at me. Now I wave it at his head and berate him, "What the hell were you thinking?!" "Sorry!" he yelps. "I was waiting like you said, just practicing my sword forms, but then I heard a crash, and there was smoke, and I thought you were in trouble!" Before I can decide whether to smack some sense into him or just stab him, Gavigan speaks up. "A Pu`ca!" he exims. "Erebus, you travel with a Fae of Good Fortune?" The cksmith''s all giddy and gaga-eyed, so obviously I say, "Yep. Sure do. He helped carry your baby, even." If possible, Gavigan gets even more excited, like he can''t believe how wonderful it is that a weirdo stalker carried his demon kid. Then his eyes hyperfocus on the swords in our hands, and I hastily sheathe Zen so he won''t think we''re trying to attack. "No, please," he says, "may I examine your de?" I have no idea what''s going on, but I''m not about to rain on this possible goodwill parade. Except, I''m a little worried the sword''s gonna give him the ol'' Zap of Justice. "I should warn you, Zen is very particr..." I caution as I hold out the de. "The Sword of the Worthy Soul," he whispers reverently. "I guess?" I shrug. Sounds like a name Zen would like. In fact, I hear Zen hum happily at the recognition. "Such a sword would not align with an unworthy individual. I owe you an apology, Hero Erebus." "Nah, it''s cool, no worries," I say, carefully backing up in case he goes for another hug. Birg clears her throat. "And of course, the majesty of the young Pu`ca''s de needs no close examination. There is no better fortune than his own. Can you trust them now, old friend?" Gavigan closes his eyes and sighs. When he opens them again, I can tell he''s made a decision. The little happy *Ding!* confirms it. [Chain Quest {Investigate the Tumult in the Realms, Part II: Gael} Activated!] [Congrattions! Youpleted Part I of this Chain Quest with an A Sess Rating. However, yer Taliesin contributed greatly to triggering this Chain Quest; as such, the parameters for the next quest have been altered. You may attempt Part II as a Two-Man Party, or as a Party of up to 6 Members.] [Quest Item: Group Teleportation Scroll - This is a quest-specific scroll that will teleport up to 6 yers to the location of your next quest. Whoever is with you while you use this scroll will automatically be part of the Quest Party.] Shaking my head in disbelief, I look over to Taliesin, and see him reading his own invisible screen, face bright with excitement. Then he catches my eye and he beams. He''s so bright he practically burns my retinas with all his bubbly happiness and shit. "Isn''t it great?! We''re going to be able to work together again!" I pretend to smile back, so Gavigan won''t get suspicious. As much as I hate to admit it, I know my fickle fortune had been about to ruin my chances to trigger this second quest, and this weirdo fanboy somehow identally undid the bad juju. If I don''t pretend we''re besties in front of the cksmith, he might just have Taliesin do the damn quest by himself. Fuck my life. It''s not until we''re a ways from the cksmith''s hut that I think to ask the Pu`ca about his sword. Clearly, the legendary cksmith was able to tell our weapons say something positive about us, so I''m curious what''s special about Taliesin''s. "They were probably just excited because my sword''s a little famous," Taliesin replies nonchntly, as if he''smenting on a nice cloud. "I found it by lucky ident in my Foundation Vige." I nod, because so did I. "But you think yours is famous? Howe?" He unsheathes the sword, and I notice it does seem to gleam extra brightly in the sunshine. "Ah, well, Excalibur''s pretty well-known," he says. I nod again, because yeah, of course it is "WHAT?! ARE YOU SAYING YOU DREW FUCKING EXCALIBUR IN YOUR FOUNDATION VILLAGE?!" Chapter 54: Hidden Stats of Lucky Brats Chapter 54: Hidden Stats of Lucky Brats Quick Overview of Taliesin''s "idental discovery" of the most famous sword in history: "I identally stumbled across this side quest, and one thing led to another, and I ended up in a cave with an undergroundke. In the middle, a boulder rose out of the water, and I saw something shiny, so I went to investigate. And there were a bunch of magic traps and a stupid powerful mob that looked like the Loch Ness Monster, but once I managed to survive all that, it got all glowy and the music was all pretty, and then I pulled the sword from the stone." I have no words for this nonsense. I bonk Taliesin on the head because it feels like the right thing to do. He epts it without much fuss, just fixes his hair and continues with the cheerful chatter, so I''m assuming I''m not the only one who feelspelled to violence around him. Remember when I thought I was the only one to find a Nova item in my Foundation Vige? HA. This kid found a fucking Legendary Weapon. Now that I can Perceive Hidden stats, I use Thread Reader II for the first time to check out a single attribute of another yer. Taliesin''s Luck stat reads: 30 (MAX) +3 WHAT DOES THAT EVEN MEAN? "Do you happen to have items with a +Luck effect?" I ask him with as much nonchnce as I can muster. "Oh yeah! Excalibur is +2, and this ne is +1." He lifts the silver and emerald shamrock dangling around his neck. "How''d you know?" "Call it a lucky guess." Sigh. I pull up my own stats topare. --- Name: Erebus Race: D''raven ss: -- Subss: -- Title: The Natural Level: 14 EXP: 2850/5000000 HP: 486 SP: 118 Attributes: Strength: 32 Agility: 24 Intelligence: 24 Vitality: 20 Hidden Attributes: Fortitude: 16 Luck: -1 Charisma: 15 Perception: 15 Mythic Hero Ranking: ??? Unique Sigil: Windflower Emblem - Heart of a Champion: +100 World Reputation. Power of the Winds: +5% Running Speed, +8% Flying Speed, +10% Flying Height; Hidden Stat Effects: +1 Fortitude, +2 Charisma, -1 Luck --- How the hell does a person end up with NEGATIVE LUCK?! Like, I knew my luck was bad, but. For fuck''s sake. And what''s up with my other hidden stats? I have a ton of Fortitude buffs thanks to Quest of Daring rewards and talismans, so that''s not a surprise. I don''t even know what max Fortitude is; someone hit 60 in the beta, and they still got pwned by a God-tier NPC who put a willpower whammy on them. But my Perception has been bizarrely high from the get-go. Enough that I''ve already gained two Hidden PER Skills: Nightvision - Racial Perk (Lvl 3) and Detect Trace (Lvl 1). Since it took me the entire beta to reach Perception 20, it''s weird. And whyyy in the world is my Charisma so high?! Like Luck, Charisma maxes at 30 and is insanely hard to increase. Most games, Charisma might increase as you talk to NPCs and such, but Viren''s Refuge only increases base Charisma through dealing with uber important NPCs or bypleting Hidden Tasks. (The weirdest CHA Hidden Task someonepleted in the beta involved wooing a Greek goat farmer NPC for three weeks and finally convincing him to run away with him and fulfill his childhood dreams of bing a chariot racer. Later, people asked the yer how he knew it was a Hidden Task. "I didn''t," he replied. "I just fell in love with Gaetano and wanted him to live his truth." RPGs, my dudes. Takes all kinds.) Most yers will start between 0 - 3 Charisma. What kind of bizarro thought process did the Fates'' AI go through when giving me negative Luck but enough Charisma I could probably pull a Lancelot and bang Queen G? Shit, if I score another 5 Charisma, I might be able to convince ol'' Lance and King Arthur to join us. Suddenly a lot of things make sense. 1) I literally smashed three dozen eggs out of Dina''s hands and still triggered a chain quest and a dinner invite. 2) Tarabu cries at how great I am, even when I only provide mono-sybic answers to his insanity. 3) Logane only threw one dagger at my head the whole time I was in his shop, and he even let me keep it. Fuck, guys. I''m the NPC whisperer. Which means.... "Damnit, I didn''t need you!" I scold Taliesin. "I would have scored this quest even if I''d burned that dude''s house down!" Taliesin''s eyes widen, aghast. "Why would you burn poor Gavigan''s house down? He''s a single parent, you know!" "How is that your takeaway from what I said?" I sigh, ruffling my hair in exasperation. I swear, I can''t with this kid. I send him to fight a fleet of fox mobs while I flop onto the grass in this pretty bluebell-covered meadow. When I''m sure the kid''ll be busy but not dead, I call up Nightfury. "The fuck you want?" he answers with his trademark scowl. I feel revived. "Scored Part II of the chain quest, no thanks to your stalker fanboy contribution." (Okay, not entirely true, but he doesn''t need to know that.) Nightfury grins, the dick. "Pretty boy geniuses owe it to help the youth, right?" "Is that why children run screaming from you, then? Ya fugly snake bastard." Yellow eyesughing at my pain, Nightfury feigns seriousness. "Tut, tut. Language, Erebus. There''s a child around." "And thanks to you, he will continue to be around. Guess who''s officially joined our Quest?" Finally, the smug grin disappears from the Draegkyn''s face. "What." Now it''s my turn to smirk, though I also want to groan. "I''d say we could name our party the Babysitter''s Club, except the kid''s got more skills than the rest of your teambined." "Fuck." I shake my head. "You just haaad to b." "I want to say I wouldn''t do it again...but then I picture your face when he showed up out of nowhere, all starry-eyed and earnest..." I don''t know what PTSD face I make right then, but Nightfury proceeds tough his ass off for long enough I hang up. He calls back, but I Mute his ass for an hour and call Lis instead. Of course, Nightfury''s standing next to him, so the traitor dryad makes his call screen visible to both of them. Deciding it''s definitely not worth trying to hold an intelligent conversation with Shadeyer, I suck it up and stay on the line with these two. I ask them when they think they might wanna go a-questing. Apparently, Shadeyer and Kane are off doing the most annoying quests ever to get the Foundation Skills they missed. They won''t be free for a while, and then they''ll need to grind to catch up Level-wise. But Lis finished the Jump quest already, and he and Nightfury only have a little more to do to for Lux. Then Lis wants to hit up a couple quests to raise his INT, but he could be ready to roll by tomorrow afternoon. "What about you?" I ask Nightfury. "Do you need time for the Cursed Hat quest?" His face darkens; even the red scales at his temples turn bloodred. "Can''t," he snaps. "Don''t wanna talk about it." I raise a questioning eyebrow to Lis. "He''s just mad because he found out it''s a superplicated chain quest, and he has to wait for a special event for the next part." "Damnit, dryad, shut up, will you?" Nightfury smacks Lis with his tail. Lis ruffles the leaves in his hair, making it sound like the leaves areughing. "It''s not all bad, you whiny dragon. Sure, you''re stuck with that raggedy hat for a while, but now we''re the only ones who know the Wild Hunt''s on the New Moon in a fortnight." I bolt up. "Duuuude! Fuckin'' A!" "Why''d you tell him for?" Nightfuryins. Lis isn''t buying it. "You probably just wanted to tell him in person, hoping he''d get excited enough to leap into your strong scaly arms." "Aw, Nightfury, you should have said you wanted to reciprocate my epic dungeon save!" I flutter myshes and wings. "I''ll let you carry me bridal style next time!" "I''d rather be stabbed in the dick with a morningstar," Nightfury deadpans, face murderous. Then the line goes dead. Iugh my ass off and feel rejuvenated. "What''s funny?" Taliesin asks as he returns, all the mobs dead. "Riling up dragons and dick jokes." "Ahh," Taliesin nods in total understanding. I should probably feel bad that I have the humor of a high schooler. I do not. But I probably should. Unconcerned, I jump to my feet and continue to the nearest Fae Portal. Giving Nightfury shit gave me an idea, so I tell the kid we have two party members ready to join us tomorrow, and then I oh-so-casually mention Kara. "Soooo, I was thinking," I say, "since we still have a couple spots avable, I guess it''s only fair if you want to add a party member or two..." "Ooh, really?!" "Sure, yeah. And, uh, don''t you think the Valkyrie on your team might want to join us? Given the specific nature of this quest?" I cross my fingers and pray to gods I probably don''t believe in. "Good call! I''m sure Kara would love to help." ''Fuck yesssss.'' I do the world''s smallest fist pump, then I go back to acting cool. "She''d probably want Jade to join us, then, right?" Come on, gimme my wingwoman... Taliesin frowns. "I''m sure Jade would want to, but she and Rah are busy, off collecting Foundation Skills. They realized how important they were when we sucked so hard at Nightmare Mode." Bummer. Can''t have everything, I guess. "But Nanuk will be free," the Pu`ca says with more excitement than I think the stoic shaman probably deserves. "Bro''s already learned some healing, so he''ll be helpful." Figuring if nothing else, big bro might take the kid''s attention away from me for a while, I agree. "All right. Tell them to meet us in Tara at 16:00 tomorrow." "We aren''t headed to Lough Gur?" Taliesin asks. "Nope," I reply, while I shoot a message to Nightfury and Lis telling them the same. It''s a trek, but they''ll be able to grind along the way. "What''s in Tara?" "Everything. It''s the Capitol, seat of the High King. Since we have a while before we can finish this quest, I have some errands to run. You can teleport yourself to Lough Gur after you drop me off." "Ooh, actually, I found some awesome crafting materials" "Of course you did." I bop him on the head again. "so I need to find a good tailor. Can Ie with you? I don''t mind sharing if you need some materials. I have too many." I want to deny him on principle, but also I never say no to free shit, on different principle. Then I remember where I need to go, and I realize an annoyingly cute bundle of luck might not be a bad thing to bring along. "I know someone. She''s the best. But I don''t think she''ll be happy to see me." "Why do you say that?" "Thest time I saw her, she stabbed me." I rub my gut, remembering. "Maybe it was a misunderstanding?" "Four times. She stabbed me four times." "Great! Sounds like she''s gotten it out of her system. Lead the way!" Chapter 55: Cat Assassins Like Cute Shit Chapter 55: Cat Assassins Like Cute Shit Tara. I could visit a million times, and the sight of this magnificent city would still take my breath away. This vast Capitol was built not by humans, but by the semi-divine race Tuatha de Danann, the "People of the Goddess Danu." The Tuatha, or the People, as they call themselves, are the mythological ancestors of many fae races; as you might expect, their architecture is nothing short of magical. The beautifully-crafted buildings rise from the ground, as if a giant nature mage gently coaxed them directly from the earth. Everything is wood and stone, and yet, somehow, alive. Sloping curves and sky-scraping spires, all elegance and fluid lines. Stained ss sparkles from turret windows, and colorful tiled domed roofs soar into the sky. A glittering river flows through the city, and bridges made of pure white stone arch gracefully across the rushing water. The stone is so thin it looks like delicate spun sugar, but it''s strong enough to withstand even Epic-tier dragon mes. In the center of everything, towering above even the tallest cathedral-looking buildings, the Hill of Tara stands magnificent. Atop the hill rises the Lia Fil, the Stone of Destiny, and from that majestic ce, the High King rules. As we look upon Tara''s boundless beauty, for the first time since I''ve met the kid, Taliesin is silent and still. I didn''t even know he could do that; he''s normally like a golden retriever with ADHD. I give him a full minute to take it all in, but when he shows no signs of snapping out of it, I give him a nudge. "I think I''m having a moment," he says, awestruck. "I never knew what that meant, before." That gets augh out of me, and I can''t help but ruffle the kid''s shaggy hair. "Remarkable, isn''t it?" "It''s the most beautiful thing I''ve ever seen!" he gushes, and this time, I don''t think he''s overreacting. "My family''s Irish; I''ve been to the real Hill of Tara. It was awesome already, when it was just green hills, burial mounds, and the remnant of the stone that witnessed the Crowning of the High Kings. Seeing it like this though, at its height of glory, when the fae lived and ruled here, it''s like I''m having a religious moment!" I can''tugh at that. I kind of get what he''s saying, and I''m neither Irish nor religious. However. "I feel you, but unfortunately, we can''t stand around, admiring the awesomeness all day. We have ces to be and a short angry woman to cate." He shakes himself like a puppy trying to rid himself of excess energy, and I have to resist the urge to ruffle his head again. I''m gonna need some serious Alopix pets time when I log out in a few hours. "All right, I''m ready. Where are we going?" I sigh. "We need to see Arachne." "You''re sure she''s here?" He''s asking like he wants to make sure, but he''s already blindly following me anyway as we cut through winding, bustling streets. "Oh yes," I assure him. "I''m not positive exactly where, but if we head towards the marketce near the Teleportation Portal, we''ll find her." Arachne didn''t take the number one spot for Lifestyle yers back in the beta for nothing; her only desire was to open her first shop in this breathtaking city, on day one of the official start of the game. I don''t think it was originally part of the devs'' n to let a yer set up shop in the greatest city in Gael right from the get-go, but they couldn''t deny her request. She did single-handedly create more designs selected by the AI for game release than most Lifestyle yersbined. All told, there were only 70 Lifestyle specialists in the beta, and their experience was vastly different from mine. They had direct ess tomunicate with the main Nova AI system because they were as much creators as they were testers. They were supposed toe up with craft recipes, forging designs, and gear designs, and then test out the methods for creation to see which items were tooplex to craft at various levels. The game also gave them ess to a far moreplete list of herbs, ores, monster parts, and other materials than the rest of us, so the Lifestyle yers could provide feedback on which materials made the most sense for which crafted items. Arachne alone convinced the AI of hundreds of enchantments and buffs that should be made avable to crafters, given the avable materials/ingredients. Apparently, the NDA (non-disclosure agreement) the Lifestyle yers had to sign was way stricter than ours, and if they''re ever caught sharing or selling any of the infobeled ''ssified,'' they''ll be permanently banned from the game and sued for enough money to bankrupt a small country. Vir-Tech needn''t have bothered with the threats, to be honest. Those yers aren''t stupid enough to sell such priceless intel. When this game grows as popr as we all know it will, those few Lifestyle beta testers will rake it in. For instance, they''ll be able to outsmart the in-game market and buy up seemingly worthless materials before their true worth is revealed. Then they can re-sell them or use them to make the best-crafted items. I have little doubt that by the time the game reaches Realm Four, Arachne will be one of the wealthiest yers in Viren''s Refuge. By Realm Seven, she''ll probably be one of the richest women in the real world, too. "So Arachne is the girl who stabbed you, right?" Taliesin asks as we enter the main za. I grunt a yes. I don''t want to talk about it. "Howe?" he asks anyway. Dude, read the grunt, will you? "A simple misunderstanding," I answer eventually. "Oh, is that what you''re calling it?" a distinctly feminine voice says, right before my feet go flying out from under me, and I''m knocked t onto the cobblestones. A petite woman with long ck hair, zing sapphire eyes, and pure ck cat ears stares down at me, arms crossed and mouth turned in contempt. She''s impably dressed, as if she walked off the pages of a fashion magazine, and even with the cat ears and a matching tail twitching behind her, she looks like a high-powered attorney-turned-model. Or a femme fatale assassin. Sophisticated. Beautiful. Deadly. "Why hello Arachne," I say pleasantly. "Eat shit and die alone in a sewer, Dregs," she replies, also pleasantly. "Wow, nice moves, Miss!" Taliesin sounds impressed, the traitor. "How''d you knock him down in a Safe Haven?" Though Taliesin chose an earless avatar, he still has the Celtic knot mark on his forehead showing he''s a Pu`ca, just like Arachne. He''s staring at her with his usual starry-eyed enthusiasm. Her posture rxes slightly, and her icy expression thaws. Thank gods. I was banking on this. Arachne may be a cold-blooded badass, but she''s also a white chick in her twenties. Love of cute shit is her weakness. "The trick is you don''t attack directly," she exins patiently. "I added a Wind Release skill to these heels when I crafted them. So to the System, I was simply practicing a Leg Sweep on my own; it''s this moron''s fault he happened to walk right into a gust of wind and fell on his ass." "How very Trickster fae of you," I praise her drily. "You know how I feel about aesthetics." She tosses her shiny hair and turns to Taliesin. "It''s important to stay on brand. You''re a fae, too. Tricks and mischief are all part of the package. And the game will reward you for it." The thing is, I bet she''s right. She usually is. Now that she seems less likely to kill me on sight, I haul myself to my feet. "How''d you recognize me?" I ask, genuinely curious. She looks at me like I''m stupid. (It''s an expression of hers I''m familiar with.) "Other than the obvious eavesdropping? You two were bbing about me in front of my store. I haven''t stabbed that many people, you know." I shoot her the most disbelieving look I have. She frowns. "Okay, I haven''t stabbed that many too-handsome-for-their-own-good jackasses who would be stupid enough to try to find me again afterward." Fair. I half-shrug and unconsciously flex my awesome avatar muscles. "This handsome jackass goes by Erebus now, Arachne. And he''s here to do business." Her frown deepens into a full-on re. "I don''t care what you''re calling yourself these days. I still don''t do business with deceitful perverts!" Several NPCs turn to stare, and a group of female fae start whispering and shooting me dirty looks. "Damnit woman, not so loud! You know it wasn''t like that!" "It wasn''t? You didn''t sneak into my shop under false pretenses and then peep on an entire changing room of women?" Shaking his head in disapproval, Taliesin deadpans, "Wow, my image of you is shot." I may have wanted him to stop stalking me, but I didn''t want it to end like this. Frantic, I say the first thing thates to mind in my own defense. "No, you don''t understand! I was a woman at the time, too!" Chapter 56: Little Lieu on the Chopping Block Chapter 56: Little Lieu on the Chopping Block In the deafening silence that follows my promation, I wish for the sweet release of death. Instead, I get intensely checked out by a passing gray-bearded gnome. "I can see it," he says with ascivious grin, then blows me a kiss. Fucking charisma. "No sexual harassment near my shop, or I''ll cut off your grubby little dick and feed it to you." Arachne points to a sign in her shop window that says the same thing, but in emojis. With a gulp, the gnome takes off, his stubby legs churning for all they''re worth. I try to thank Arachne for protecting my virtue, but she cuts me off. "Boy, this goes for you, too. Why do you think I kept stabbing youst time? I was aiming lower, but you wouldn''t stay still." I immediately wrap my wings around to guard my endangered Little Lieu. "Sorry I impeded your castration attempt." Arachne rolls her eyes. She has a hot eye roll, because of course she does. "You''re just lucky Xiuying wasn''t ying. She''d have castrated you in real life." "Dude, don''t even joke about that." My wings wrap a little tighter. Taliesin''s face scrunches. His insatiable curiosity is clearly warring with the little voice in his head that says, ''Hey, maybe stop talking to the possibly dangerous perverted genderbend boy.'' Finally, he can''t take being left out. "Who''s Xiuying?" I smile fondly. "My sister. She and Arachne went to college together." "She sounds terrifying." The brat sounds impressed again. "Yeah," I say, proud, "she''s a legend. And," I add a pointed look at Arachne, "she would at least hear me out before jumping straight to castration!" (Probably.) Sighing, Arachne pushes open the ornate wooden door to her store and gestures for us to enter. "Fine. You have five minutes. But if you can''t exin yourself, I really will tell your sister next time I visit." I shudder. "Snitch," I mutter. "Perv," she snaps back. "Wow," Taliesin gasps, staring inside the store. Arachne''s spectacr taste has that effect on people. Her store, Silken Strands, is morous and well-designed. There aren''t many handcrafted goods yet, since the game''s only been up for one day, but she already boasts an impressive collection of gear and armor. The shop''s only one-story; the devs weren''t going to hand her a five-story department building, obviously. But I expect she''ll be ready to expand and upgrade earlier than the devs n, no matter how they try to stall her. In real life, Arachne was a designer for a prestigious clothing line, and a costume designer for fantasy/sci fi films. But she always loved video games; that''s how she became friends with my sister. She helped Xiuying design gear and skins for a game Sis was developing for one of herputer science sses. I wasn''t surprised to see Arachne in the beta; I was even less surprised to realize she had figured out the potential goldmine this game offered. Loving the freedom and opportunities this game provided way more than real life, she retired from her real-world career to be a professional lifestyle gamer in Viren''s Refuge. Right now, however, she looks more like a professional hitwoman about to make me her next target. "All right, start talking." Taliesin stops gaping at the borate disys to listen intently to what may very well be myst words. "It all started with the beta''s seventh major update. I logged in the next day, and to my utter surprise, the system had force-changed my avatar to female! The AI wanted moreparison data, and there weren''t enough female yers, so I was volun-told." They nod, with me so far. "Normally, I wouldn''t spend money on gear simply for aesthetics, but I couldn''t waste this golden opportunity." I gesture to the hand-sewn lingerie along the back wall. "Your collection was ten times this during the height of the beta. I confess to wondering why anyone would buy it, then. Who needs more than the standard-issue underclothes?" Arachne mutters something that sounds suspiciously like, "Ugh, straight men." "I have since learned the error of my ways," I tell her solemnly. "In fact, if you decide not to murder me, I would be interested in paying you top dor for new boxers." Arachne looks skeptical, but Taliesin does a horrible job of hiding augh with a cough and gives me a knowing look. Shit. He''s seen Boxers Bro. Biting back a groan, I continue, "Anyway, nothing like newfound tits to make a man expand his horizons. Imagine my shock when I find out your tiny scraps of fancy cloth are all imbued with hidden buffs! It''s like wearing a talisman with underwire." "Artistry and functionality should always go hand in hand, you neanderthal." "How should I know? You hide the effects, so a person has to literally put on each item to find out it does something. Probably so male avatars won''t find out what scary shit those bras can do." "Huh?" Taliesin stares at the lingerie in confusion. "Even in their underwear, as long as they shop from Arachne, no girl is defenseless," I warn. Arachne looks pleased with herself. "Curiosity got the better of me, so I had to try on every lingerie set. And then check myself out in a mirror. For science." "But this was the beta? Didn''t you look simr to your real-world self, but with boobs?" Taliesin asks, as if that wouldn''t be enough to warrant quality mirror time. "Nope. They assigned me an avatar purely based on rtive weight and height. For the first time, I was grateful for my skinny Asian body from my dad; mixed with my height from Nordic mom, my female avatar was a dropdead sexy Amazonian woman!" Taliesin looks intrigued despite himself. "This led to difficulties trying on lingerie. Amazons only have one boob. But I had a job to do, for science and the betterment of mankind..." "So you rubbed that one boob with double the fervor you might have shown a pair," Arachne says drily. "I did indeed!" "I doubt that was the only new body part you rubbed that month." "IT WAS A LEARNING EXPERIENCE. FOR SCIENCE." "What do you mean?" Taliesin asks. "Nothing," Arachne and I say in unison. "Ahem. So there I am, squeezing my singr tit with one hand and trying to sp my new bra with the other" "That''s it. The final scraps of the image I first had of you are officially gone," Taliesin tells me tly. "and that silky shit''s way harder to get on than off" "Like your nerd self has all that much experience unhooking other girls'' bras," Arachne scoffs. "so I lose my bnce and fall through the changing curtain" "How your clutzy ass falls down putting on a damn bra, I swear to God," Arachne mutters. "Did you want to hear my exnation or not?!" I demand. "Nothing you''ve said so far has exined why I walked into the private changing area for groups, to see you surrounded by half-naked women and squeezing Fiona''s double-ds!" "She told me to squeeze! It would have been rude to refuse!" Taliesin and Arachne skewer me with matching unimpressed scowls. "No seriously! When I fell into their room, these girls all flocked around me to see if I was okay, then they helped me fix the bra, told me my hair looked fantastic, and someone gave me a mint. It all happened so fast! It was like being surrounded by a sorority of fairy godmothers." Pursing her lips, Arachne nods, like this sounded like a fairly normal urrence. "Then one of themughed because I was still absently squeezing my boob, and asked if I was stressed. Apparently, girls think of boobs as stress balls attached to their bodies?" Arachne shrugs, as if to say, "Yes, obviously." "So then another girl says, ''If you really wanna destress, borrow Fifi''s beauties!'' And the one I assume was Fifi was all like, ''Here ya go!'' and then I was squeezing a pair of marshmallow glories, and everyone was assuring me that I still looked great even with only one tit, and someoneplimented my eyebrows, and someone else gave me another mint. And then you walked in, and all hell broke loose." Arachne crossed her arms. "That''s because in all that time, you never told them you were actually a dude. I recognized your gamer tag, and when I asked what the hell you were thinking, you didn''t have a good answer." "How could I answer? You told them I was a guy, and they all started shrieking and throwing things and trying to skewer me with weapons. I was bombarded with [Safe Haven] warning messages. I had no choice but to run, and then when I saw you next on R3, you tried to cut off my dick. Didn''t give me much of an opening to exin." "I feel like maybe the girls overreacted a little," Taliesin says, finally having my back like a good little fanboy. "This is VR, not reality." "But like you said, in the beta, everyone looked pretty much like themselves," Arachne argues. "At least close enough to be freaked out by a guy spying in a changing room." I nod, feeling a little guilty. "And that''s fair. But you can see now that I didn''t actuallye here to peep! I was plenty happy staring at myself." She''s still frowning, but she looks thoughtful. "At least tell me this genderbend experiment aplished something useful?" "The devs wanted to know how maneuvering worked, since a lot of yers will likely want to y a different gender, so I reported the few differences I noticed. And they had me infiltrate a city filled with my avatar''s people to see if the NPCs would notice anything off about me." "So you went to the Amazon Land of Women and tricked them, too?" "If it makes you feel better, the system gave me no warning before switching me back. My save point was in the Amazonian city, so when I materialized in my male form, I was immediately captured." The worst part was they thought I was Zeus trying to be all sneaky and rapey (as per his usual), but that a Goddess had trapped me in a mortal form so the Amazons could turn the tides and teach me a lesson, and also for breeding purposes. So I was nearly turned into a sex ve by three hundred one-tittied women. Not as thrilling as you might think. Especially considering the Amazons praying mantis their male lovers once everyone''s had their fun, and I didn''t want to end up decapitated, my corpse left to rot in the ocean. (Also, like, a lot of hype and expectation that would be difficult to live up to. I admit to a degree of performance anxiety.) Luckily, I managed to escape with my virtue and head intact, but my next report was more strongly-worded than usual. It''s clear from the expression on Arachne''s face that she knows the myths just as well as I do, and she hears plenty of what I don''t say aloud of my harrowing experience. I think I may detect a hint of pity. She''s silent for some time. I wait her out, though, and finally, she rxes her stiff posture and offers me a small smile. "Fine. We''re cool." I release the tension I''d been holding, and thank the gods my sister won''t be killing me any time soon. Chapter 57: Brawny Lad with the Business Plan Chapter 57: Brawny Lad with the Business n Once Arachne finally forgives me (ish), it''s smooth sailing. Her discerning eye hones in on the high-quality goods Taliesin materializes on her counter, and their negotiations begin immediately. The kid''s not shrewd, but I guess you don''t have to be when you''re the proverbial golden goose. Arachne may not have my Thread Reader skill, but she can tell he''s oozing dumb luck and the energy to match; no way she screws him over this time and potentially screws herself over in the long run. Unsurprisingly, by the time they''re done, Arachne''s offered the kid a contract with Silken Strands. He''ll sell his best materials to her first, and he''lle to her for tailored gear. She''ll offer himpetitive prices for the goods and provide solid discounts on custom gear and enhancements. As a good faith measure, she offers to create his first custom tunic-and-trousers set at cost. "It''s a good deal, kid. I''d rmend signing on while you still can," I advise. They shake hands and sign the System-sanctioned contract. In Viren''s Refuge, contracts are irond, and you can choose from a list of penalties or agree upon a different one. Either way, the System enforces the chosen penalties automatically when a contract''s breached, and sometimes even enforces additional penalties on its own, depending on the contract details. When it''s my turn, I send Taliesin off to peruse the store and offer a contract of my own to Arachne. Our negotiation is a little more difficult than Taliesin''s. "Shares? Are you mad?!" she whisper-yells indignantly. "Is it really that insane? You need start-up capital. You need frontline Rankers to score the best-quality materials and goods. This isn''t the time to be meek." Her eyes sh, angry at the suggestion of weakness. "I know the importance of taking risks. I just don''t see the evidence that you''re a risk worth taking." "All due respect, I''m calling bullshit." She''s seething now, but before she can act, I swipe my inventory list over to her. Her eyes bug out of her head. Then I send her a friend request and give her ess to view my current Level. "Holy balls on a biscuit," she whispers, dazed. "I know it''s terrifying. You''re betting your life on this game. I am, too. And right now, I''m also betting on you. I know you, Arachne. You''re gonna own this game, in time. But there''s too much at stake, thanks to Zhao Jianyu''s crazy-ass wager. He''s betting on us, and we don''t have time to waste." Her expression clears, and she really looks at me now. "You''re serious. You think you''re going to win." "Is it so hard to believe? I''ve made it to the top before. You''ve seen my pretty pretty mantle of gold shit that proves it." She looks like she wants to argue, but something stops her. Instead, she asks, "Terms?" "For now, 10%. You''ve started out in front, but that''s going to put a target on your back. I''ll be your sword or your shield, whichever you need. I''ll also secure you the star deeds to upgrade your shops, and when I''m avable, I''ll run quests and lead dungeon runs for materials or items you need, too." "That''s all well and good, but what about right now? Sure, you have some wicked materials, but what can you give me that''s worth 10% of my life''s work?" "Would enough Reputation to immediately ssify you a 1-Starpany suffice?" Arachne stops breathing. "750 usable Reputation points in Tara. You put my name down as partial owner of this very fine establishment, and you automatically be a 1-Star business owner. Plus I''ll throw in 100 silvers." Arachne starts coughing. Red-faced, she wheezes, "We''re still in a copper economy right now! If you have all that, you could start your own shop. You could start two!" "Do I look like a shopkeeper to you? I don''t want to own a shop. I want you to own the best business in the Nine Realms, and I want me to make money off your prodigious talents and business acumen." I expect her tough, but the calcting businesswoman returns instead. She knows it''s not really a joke for either of us. "15," she says finally. "We''ll start you out at 15%, but you reinvest 5% of all mary rewards from quests and dungeons, plus 10% of all non-unique materials, items, and drops. All relevant designse directly to me, unless a quest requires one. When I expand into potions and other consumables, we will renegotiate the contract as necessary." I shake her proffered hand. "Deal, as long as that expansion happens within 30 days. Here''s a Sleeping Draught recipe I scored from a Changeling; pretty sure it''s fae chloroform. Maybe you can start here when you find a reliable potionsmaster." "I have one in mind. Still in the wooing phase, but now that I have the world''s only 1-Star shop to dangle in front of them, I should be able to move quickly. Expect expansion within a fortnight." We quickly draft the contract, and I be part-owner of Silken Strands. We also finish our other business; Arachne gifts me a standard tunic and promises to repair and improve my Damaged Shinobi Warrior tunic by noon tomorrow. Taliesin makes good on his promise and gifts me Brownie thread, an ultra-rare material that increases repair sess rate by 70%, and has a 40% chance of imbuing the repaired item with a random enhancement. I almost feel bad taking it...until he assures me he could get more if he ever needed it because Brodie the Brownie is his little buddy and would be happy to help. My reaction is to bonk the kid on the head, so I do. Arachne''s reaction is to aggressively interrogate Taliesin until he''s a freaked-out mess, and then convince him to find Brodie and convince the Brownie to move into Silken Strands. This is why I''m the brawn, and I leave the business execution to her. Chapter 58: Loose Morality and Jedi Mind Tricks Chapter 58: Loose Morality and Jedi Mind Tricks When we leave Silken Strands, I''m holding an address written in Arachne''s tidy handwriting. As I''d hoped, she''s already made contact with my second-favorite Lifestyle yer and therefore knows where I can find him. To my surprise, he''s here, in Tara. During the beta, he''d been the owner of the second amazing shop I''d discovered in Lough Gur. Unlike Logane and Arachne, this particr shop owner has never once tried to kill me or evict me from his premises. Weird guy, right? ording to Arachne, the second he arrived in Gael, he ditched his starting town and beelined straight for the Capitol. His goal? Apprenticeship with a Master. I can only hope he''s been sessful. I need him to be able to work. On our way across the city, Taliesin and I pop in and out of various shops, on the hunt for a vial of happy fog juice, the final material required to upgrade Zen. If I hadn''t gotten the evil fog in the dungeon, I probably wouldn''t have cared, but since I found the perfect ingredient for Aku, I feel like I owe it to Zen to do the same. I don''t bother keeping my intentions secret from Taliesin. He''s rocking Ex-fucking-caliber; the kid probably knows more about upgradeable weapons than I do. In fact, he scores a few points in my esteem when he not only understands my predicament, he even agrees with me. "It''s all about symmetry with dual des! What if one starts to feel like you''re favoring the other? Jealousy, resentmentnot the harmonious vibes you want from your steel partners, for sure." He then gently pats Excalibur and assures the de he''ll always find primo materials for upgrading, so the sword can always be at its best. So, yeah. Maybe we''re both insane. There are worse things we could be. We could be boring. --- A few blocks from our final destination, Taliesin (of course) randomly stumbles across an apothecary with a collection of Fog Essences. He immediately points out the pure white Holy Mist, but a different vial of bloodred mist catches my eye. Phantom Queen Fog. This is the one. Zen is a de of righteousness, not holiness or peace. While protecting the innocent, Zen ys the unrighteous with a zeal simr to Aku. The Phantom Queen is the same. Also known as the Morrigan, she is the goddess of war and fate. She wages war to protect her people, which is why she is also a goddess of sovereignty and the People''s Guardian. A shapeshifter sorceress who can turn the tides of battle and foretell the deaths of righteous warriors, Morrigan is often seen near rivers andkes, washing blood from the uniforms of soldiers days before their deaths. Blood billows out like a cloud in the clear water, surrounding her like a crimson mist. This must be the essence of that fateful image. "Good call," Taliesin says when he sees my choice. "But there''s no price tag. Probably not a good sign." Finally. My time to shine. Taliesin''s Luck may have led us here, but my Charisma''s gonna seal the deal. I saunter up to the counter and lean forward, elbows resting on the wood. I sh a cocky grin that shows off my pearly whites and make eye contact with the flora fae [Agnes the Apothecary]. "Good evening, Agnes. I''m Erebus. You may have heard of me; I once saved a Spirit of the Forest. It was no big deal. Just doing my part, being a hero." Her yellow eyes widen in recognition. "Wow. How can I help a hero like you?" "It just so happens, your lovely little shop here has exactly what I''ve been searching for." Then I flip my hair out of my face like a boyband jackass, and wink. When she shyly pushes hear leafy hair behind her pointy ears, and her green face blushes red, I know I''ve already won. Not five minutester, I''m back outside, basking in the glorious musical chime alerting me that the final upgrade material for Zen''aku has been collected. Taliesin''s gaping. "What kind of jedi mind trick bs was that?! You tradedmon herbs and a handful of coppers for what I suspect is a Blue-tier limited edition item!" I smirk. "Items with no price tag have no set value in the game. The price is determined almost entirely by the yer''s negotiation techniques, relevant Reputation points, and Charisma stat. With a little more time and effort, I could have probably lowered the price to a stick of gum." "With a little more effort, I think you could have gotten Agnes for a stick of gum!" Laughing, I p him on the shoulder. "Impressed, young padawan?" "More like, I''m thinking Arachne was right, and I better keep a closer eye on you." "Come again?" I choke. Damn woman. Only she would tell a stalker to keep a *closer* watch on me. Taliesin nods sagely. "This power could be dangerous in your hands. Who knows what you might be tempted to do, in the name of science?" "Urk!" I yelp, as I trip over nothing. Kid has me there. ----- I hear the forge before I see it, and I shove the no longer-needed address in my pocket. The steady clink, clink, clink of a hammer on heated steel draws me in, and I can feel Zen''Aku vibrating with excitement behind me. They know why we''re here. This near the edge of Tara, the buildings are more spread out, so I bypass the shop itself and wander around to the back, where the open-air forge is set up. Taliesin gestures to the brawny dwarven fae forging an axe. "Is that who we''re looking for?" Before I can respond, long, lean arms wrap around both of our shoulders, and a high-pitched male voiceughs prettily. "Hardly. Boys this cute must be looking for me." "Aah!" Taliesin yells, jumping half out of his skin. "Hey Vulcan," I say, turning to the best cksmith PC in the world. "Hello handsome," he replies, air kissing both my cheeks. I indulge him out of habit. "Spider Wench told me you''d being." "One of these days, I''m going to tell Arachne you call her that." He grins, and his teeth look extra white against his tan skin. "Oh honey, it''s a term of endearment. I call her that to her face." I raise an eyebrow. "What''s she call you?" "I don''t want to say in front of the minor." Taliesin looks relieved, but also a little disappointed. Can''t say I me him. "Speaking of, who is this delightful young Pu`ca?" Vulcan asks. I block him with an arm. "Down, boy. No ruining innocent children." Vulcan gasps, scandalized. "I would never!" I snort my disbelief. "Don''t give me that," he huffs. "Neither of you cute things are anything close to my type." True. His type is burly muscles, grizzled beards, and battle scars. He admitted to me once, System-drunk on in-game wine, that the only reason he became a cksmith was to meet guys. It should be annoying, considering he ended up a freaking god-level cksmith on ident while drooling over muscles and facial hair. But maybe it''s just so quintessentially him, or maybe he just has so many things about him that should be annoying, in the end, nothing''s annoying. For example, it''s somehow not annoying he looks more like Adonis than any cksmith I''ve ever seen. He''s even wearing a spotless baby blue slim-fit sleeveless tunic that I''m betting he had Arachne custom design for him. "Are you ying Human?" I ask, surprised. "Of course not. How boring." Vulcan walks out of the forge into the small grassy yard. Two white wings unfurl from runic markings on his back. "You''re a Valkyrie!" Taliesin exims. He''s the first male Valkyrie I''ve seen, and I feel like I should have known. Vulcan may be attracted to the cksmith stereotype, but in real life, the man''s a ballet dancer. Pure muscle, without an inch of bulk. The Valkyrie avatar is designed to be tall and lean, pure deadly muscle hidden in a body of grace and beauty and otherworldly hand-eye coordination. It''s why it''s also the perfect race for my own goddess, Kara Geir. I must let a lovesick expression cross my face for a second, because Vulcan narrows his eyes in a knowing look, and I groan. "Nope, not even gonna go there right now," I warn. "I''m here on special business." Interest piqued, Vulcan lets the love-rted gossip go (for now). He ushers us into the actual shop and asks for business-rted details instead. I immediately hand over Zen''aku, and exin everything I know of the Cursed des and the upgrade. There''s no point keeping anything secret from Vulcan; if everything goes well, he''s going to be my weapons specialist and cksmith for years toe. Besides, right after I finish speaking, he proves trying to keep a secret would have been pointless. His reward for cing in the Top Five Lifestyle yers during the beta was apparently an Appraisal Skill. After he uses it, he knows more about my damn weapons than I do. Whatever he sees, gets him incredibly excited. So excited, he refuses to waste time telling me what''s got him so hot and bothered. "Hand over the upgrade materials, and shoo until tomorrow." "Tomorrow?!" I''m taken aback and more than a little despondent at the thought of letting them go for so long. I''d hoped the upgrade might only take an hour or so. "Can''t you at least tell me what you learned?" "No point just yet. Once they upgrade, the information will change again. The sooner I can get started, the sooner I''ll be able to uncover all the secrets of your beautiful des." "Can you even handle the upgrade?" I ask, worriedly. "You doubt my skills?" He''s not quite offended, more surprised. "I just mean, I didn''t think the System would let an unofficial cksmithplete the process." "Who''s unofficial? You''re looking at the game''s first and as of yet only Apprentice cksmith, Level Two." "No way!" Taliesin cries, jaw dropping in shock. Smirking, Vulcan holds out his hand expectantly. "Upgrade materials," he insists. Sighing, I pass him what he wants. I feel like a new parent leaving my kid at daycare for the first time. "Now shoo! You''re too handsome to stick around. You''ll distract me." "You''re just saying that in the hopes I''m ttered enough to leave withoutint." "Fine. Then shoo! You''re a total freak when ites to your weapon babies, and your constant hovering and endless stream of encouragement, muttered not to me but to your weapons, is a horrendous distraction and makes me feel like pulling an Arachne and stabbing you." "Ouch." "Truth hurts, babe. Now buzz off. I have work to do." Chapter 59: Final bits of Housekeeping, before House Getting Chapter 59: Final bits of Housekeeping, before House Getting I am in no way offended when I find myself outside the smithy, heavy door closed in my face. It''s a Vulcan thing. It means he''s taking upgrading my babies seriously, so I''m happy. I sling an arm around Taliesin''s shoulders and steer us back to the inner city. "Welp. We''ve been officially shoo-ed, Little Dude. How bout some grub?" His face brightens with his trademark 100 megawatt grin. "Hey, my brother calls me that! My name''s Liam Dunleavy, initials LD, so he calls me Little Dude all the time." I smack him upside the head. "Yo, don''t just tell people that, you dope!" "I don''t! I''m not stupid." With a withering look, I snap, "The evidence is to the contrary, dumbass." He rolls his eyes. "It''s just you here. You''re not people. You''re Erebus." "Kid, you have no clue who I am!" "I consider myself an excellent judge of character." Now I roll my eyes. "I thought you were keeping an eye on me because you think I might be a closet perv." He nods, merrily. "That''s an entirely separate issue. If anything, it proves you can keep a secret!" I can''t even. This kid, I swear. Shake. My. Head. We enter a tavern and order. Taliesin scarfs down thick stew and a loaf of rustic bread, baked to perfection: crispy on the outside and soft and chewy on the inside. Have you ever read a Western high fantasy novel, and gotten so into the worldbuilding that every time they eat, you start craving the same foods: rich stew, warm bread, and hunks of cheese? That''s what eating in Tara is like. Not for me, though, right now. I start stress-eating an entire pie because fuck it, it''s imaginary calories anyway. "Why are you so" (obsessed with) "interested in me?" I ask eventually. It''s difficult to talk while my taste buds are reeling from the sweet-yet-tart berries and buttery crust so ky it should be illegal. He shrugs but doesn''t stop inhaling food. "A bunch of reasons, I guess. Mostly, I feel like ying with you will be the most fun." "Why?" "At first, ''cause of that emblem." To my surprise, he points to my Windflower. "It''s unique. I haven''t seen anyone else with that. You must have been Top 16 during the Beta Tournament." "Why d''you think that?" "The Top 100 all have the same emblem. Haven''t you noticed it on Kara and my brother''s chest? The scythe and skull?" What the hell. I get a flower. They get Intimidating Sigil of Death. Rude, Fates. "Were you in the beta, too?" I ask. "Sort of. For, uh...reasons, I was recruited for a special closed beta. It was as much testing hardware as software, and our focus was different. We weren''t part of the in-game ranking. But my brother was! Nanuk ranked 22nd after the tournament. All of us from the special beta got toe watch the tournament. It was awesome!" "Is that how Nanuk met Kara?" I ask, curious. "Nah, they''d yed together on other games, along with Jade and Rahotep. Mostly Jade, though. Rah just kinda keeps tagging along." I stare at him. Gee, who else tags along? "They were in a guild?" "Not exactly." He does one of those half-headshake, half-nods. "I mean, yes, but it was one of those solo guilds." "Those don''t always work well, from what I''ve seen." The kid nods. "Yeah, they got fed up a few times. Rah eventually joined a real guild. Bro always said what they needed was a better Guild Leader." He gives me a meaningful look and waggles his eyebrows. Iugh my ass off. "Never gonna happen." He sighs. "Figured as much." For the rest of our meal, Taliesin tells me stories, and since they involve my Great Love, obviously I''m intrigued. He''s a great storyteller, actually. Does spot-on impressions, especially of his brother. Apparently, the kid''s a streamer with a decent following,rgely due to his knack for finding in-game secrets and his storytelling abilities. Taliesin, from myth, is a heroic shapeshifting bard from Celtic legend, and I have to say, it suits Liam Dunleavy of Irnd. ----- "Step right up to this Game of Chance! Only 5 silvers for a chance to win; 50 silvers if you want to Win Big!" A sketchy-looking fae, hunched over and wearing a garish purple suit, smiles wickedly as he tries to draw us closer. Normally, I''d avoid hawkers like the 1% avoid taxes, especially one charging such ridiculous prices. Even when my Luck isn''t specifically a negative number, I''ve never had much luck with games of chance. I spent 3000 rupees ying the Ocarina of Time Treasure Chest Game and never once found the fucking Piece of Heart. However... "All right, Little Dude. Do your thing." I push the kid toward the smarmy gambler. To avoid money-farming hacks due to Luck stats, you can only win games of chance once, but to make up for it, the grand prizes are usually considerable. I have him select [Ultimate Challenge - 50 Silvers]. As soon as he does, he enters a mini-instance. Essentially, he can only see, hear, or otherwise sense the sketchy hawker; the rest of the street will appear deserted to him. He also won''t be able to ess his Status Window or the inte. Everyone not ying is actually still around; I can see the challenge perfectly, hear everything the two of them say. In this way, it''s realistic for a street gambling game, but it keeps the participating yer from being able to cheat. It''s clever, but ineffective this time around. Taliesin IS the cheat. He''s the demihuman equivalent of a die that only rolls Nat 20s. Three minutes after he enters the instance, he''s back out, beaming and throwing me a thumbs up, sketchy fae is drooping and gnashing yellow pointed teeth, and my 50 silver bet has transformed into 10 gold coins. That''s 1000 silvers. Normally, by the time a person has enough silvers to waste on this game, 10 gold isn''t worth that much. Right now, though? We''re practically kings. We head to the Adventurer''s Association next. It''s a ginormous building with gothic cathedral vibes. The open ground floor has counters set up all over and bulletin boards filled with Quests. Most of the quests found on Association bulletins will include local Reputation as part of the reward. Though the outside conforms to the Tara aesthetic, the inside is almost identical to every Adventurer''s Association in every major town and city. The NPCs trip over themselves to help me, mostly because the Association is the one ce Reputation matters more than anything. When I exin I''m here to upgrade a business, the highest-ranking officials step forward, expressions varying between excited, calcting, and greedy. Most everyone else looks depressed and envious, like they wish more than anything they could be the ones serving us. It''s good to be the king. Now I have a big decision to make. The first time you use the Adventurer''s Association for a high-level task, you''re presented with a series of still-avable NPCs, and you get to choose the one who will remain your Association Liaison the rest of your time in that Realm. It matters way more than people realized at first in the beta. The NPCs are purposefully designed differently, with varying degrees of motivation, dedication to their client, intelligence, and influence/negotiation skills. Also, their personalities vastly differ, and since you''ll end up talking to your Liaison frequently, finding one that suits you is vitally important. As a certified NPC Whisperer, I''m not concerned with Motivation or Dedication. Those two stats can be influenced by the yer, and let''s be real. I gots the influence. And since I''m the first to utilize this feature, all of the best possible NPC choices are avable to me. Greed lights up my eyes, and my tattoos spread a little more across my face. I use Thread Reader and scan the crowd for names I might recognize and levels. Unsurprisingly, several of the "lower-ranked" officials are actually higher-leveled than the high-ranking ones. The general consensus in the beta is that the absolute best possible Liaison can first be found among the low-ranking NPCs, but that the high-ranking ones are always good, so they''re the safest bet. I''m not here for the safest bet. I send Taliesin off toplete a few simple in-city quests, and I take my time, meandering throughout the crowd of NPCs and using every ounce of Charisma I possess to learn about the officials who caught my eye during my initial scan. After the first hour of this, my introvert soul is crying inside, an exhausted shriveled husk, but I''m making progress, so I persevere. Because Intelligence is discernible through conversation, I use Thread Reader II to see the Influence stat of NPCs who seem most interesting. Influence affects negotiation, uncovering secrets, speaking to other NPCs on the yer''s behalf, and gaining admission to important functions that the Liaison can then invite the yer to attend as well. I use the half hour between Thread Reader II cooldowns to talk to NPCs and choose the next one who seems worthy of the skill. It''s tedious, and several of the NPCs don''t have the high-level AI I''vee to expect, like I saw with Dina and Logane. But if the NPC is boring and doesn''t seem to have an interesting personality quirk, it makes it easier for me to dismiss them. I want an NPC with a backstory that may provide an easter eggter. Finally, on the fourth use of Thread Reader II, I find what I''m looking for. His name is Alfryd, and he looks exactly like Batman''s butler Alfred, and I''d like to say this doesn''t factor into my decision-making process at all, but that would be a big, fat lie. But I promise it only factored into my decision to speak to him and test his mettle. My final decision is entirely logical. At Level 80, he''s almost ten levels above the highest-ranking official. Alfryd is only a 2-Star Intermediate Associate, but after speaking with him, I find out this is because he''s only been with the AA for a few months. Previously, he ran a wealthy nobleman''s estate. "Was his name Bruce Wayne, perchance?" I ask nonchntly. "No." I appreciate he doesn''t mince words. (I also appreciate his crisp Bristish-ish ent which I admit, makes him sound smart, because I''m a dumb American and can''t help it, and I think posh butlers are cool, so sue me.) When he''s asked an intelligent question, he answers thoughtfully, using precisenguage. He''s never vague or euphemistic, and he has absolutely zero qualms saying things I don''t want to hear. For example, when I ask him to characterize my personality based on my aesthetic, he gives me a skeptical once-over and answers: "Thinks he''s mysterious like the depths of an ocean or the dark side of a moon. Is actually mysterious in the way it''s odd when you look in the same ce over and over again for a missing item, and it''s not there, but then you check onest time, with a sigh of futility, and somehow, there it is. Worth noting, but hardly warrants further investigation." "But I am the darkness," I say. "Too right you are, sir. The darkness indeed." Needless to say, I think Arachne''s going to love him. Given his brusque personality, I can tell he''s motivated, or he wouldn''t be as advanced an official as he is. He stayed with the same nobleman for forty years, including the final years when the man was bedridden and had lost his mental faculties, so dedication seems like a given. He''s smarter than me, which is a good sign, and I think he might even be smarter than Arachne, which is the best sign. And his Influence stat is 94. 100 is the max for all four Associate NPC-specific stats. I''ve never heard of an NPC with Influence above 80, though that doesn''t mean much. I''m sure as hell not telling people about Alfryd. --- Taliesin returns after I''ve officially selected Alfryd as my Liaison, right as I sign the form transforming Silken Strands into a 1-Star Business. Turns out, the devs had made some changes to the requirements for a 1-Star Business, probably specifically to keep Arachne from upgrading so soon; if I hadn''t had 2 gold on me, I wouldn''t have been able to pay the Upgrade Fee. I stick out my tongue in the general direction of "up" where I imagine the devs might be observing. I imagine I can hear quiet weeping from Vir-Tech. Alfryd looks unimpressed. [World Notification: Congrattions to Silken Strands for being the first yer-owned business to upgrade to 1-Star Status! Business Rewarded +100 World Reputation Points, +25 Gold. Owners Arachne and Erebus Rewarded +500,000 EXP] [Realm Notification (Gael): FIRST 1-STAR BUSINESS - Silken Strands, located in Tara - Owners: Arachne, Erebus ; Business Rewarded +100 Gael Reputation Points, +10 Gold. Owners Rewarded +100,000 EXP] [City Notification (Tara): FIRST 1-STAR BUSINESS - Silken Strands, located in the Central Market - Owners: Arachne, Erebus ; Business Rewarded +100 Tara Reputation Points, +5 Gold, Will Now Appear on City Map. Owners Rewarded +50,000 EXP] "My name''s Erebus, and I can''t imagine why anyone would think ying with me is interesting. Oho! What do you know, there''s my name on the World Notification for the second time in one day. La ti da, I''m an idiot." It''s rming how much Taliesin matches my voice to mock me. He''s in his shadow cat form, probably because it can Sprint faster, and I swear he manages to even flick his tail sarcastically. I karate chop him on the head. He looks surprised, and pouts. I smirk. Can''t dodge my AGI, Little Dude. "Are you ready to go now? We don''t have much time left before the day ends." "Almost. Just onest thing." Still pouting, he jumps onto the counter and curls up like a panther-sized housecat. Chuckling, I turn to Alfryd. "Could you pull up the list of avable Housing Units in Tara? Preferably towards the outer wall, where there''s a bit more space and privacy." There might be the slightest forehead wrinkle to suggest Alfryd is surprised by this request, but it''s gone in a heartbeat, and then he''s pulling up the list as if it''s no bigger a deal than if I''d asked him to pull up a breakfast menu. One eye opens as Taliesin looks at me curiously. Ignoring the obvious question, I skip the first entire section and open the second tab of housing options. On page thirteen, my breath catches at the sight of a beautiful house/mini mansion with gray and green te roof tiles and sloping wooden walls. A round turret rises up, taller than the surrounding buildings, with huge windows and a chimney. Gods, I''m a sucker for a good turret. "No way you can afford that, right? I figured I''d be lucky to snag a hut at this level in the game." Taliesin''s no longer pretending not to care, and he leans over, tufted ears twitching in front of me. Grinning, I pull out one of my most coveted treasures from the Oni no Gekido: my 2-star Housing Deed. "I''ll take it." Taliesin falls off the counter. Alfryd looks almost impressed. I swear, I saw it. "I''m afraid you don''t have the funds, sir. You don''t even have the 5 gold required to activate the Housing Deed, let alone the 100 gold required to purchase the property." "You can borrow my 5 gold if you want. There''s nothing I can buy with that much money yet." It''s so rare toe across such a generous gamer. We''re hoarders by nature. As soon as you tell me a material is rare or hard to find, I hear "Hold onto every scrap of this material you find and never use it for anything; you are a dragon now and this is your precious hoard." "Unnecessary," I tell him. "Instead, simply apany me on an adventure." "HECK YES THAT''S WHAT I''M TALKING ABOUT." In his excitement, Taliesin poofs back into a human. He''s really got to work on that. Battles do have a level of excitement, you know. "Great! Let''s go make some money! Are you ready?" Taliesin grins and pumps his fist. "For anything! What are we doing?" I grin as well, but it seems evil when I do it for some reason. "Swindling a leprechaun, my dude." "Sounds gre--ACK! WHAT?!" Chapter 60: Swindling a Swindler Chapter 60: Swindling a Swindler The telltale tap-tapping of a tiny hammer crafting high-quality footwear is music to my ears. There is also actual music in my ears, lovely Celtic-inspired strings and flutes that have apanied us as we traipsed all over this forest outside Tara. Finally, though, that music changes, alerting us to a secret nearby. "Ohmygod, ohmygod, is it him? Is it the leprechaun?" Taliesin squawks. He says it''s ingrained in his Irish soul to be excited about leprechauns, so he can''t help it, even though he''s positive we''re going to fail miserably at trying to trick the faery trickster. There''s something disconcerting about hearing his bubbly excitementing out of a terrifying, demonic fanged mouth. Grinding in this Level 15 forest as we searched for an elusive little green cobbler was especially good for Taliesin; when he hit Level 10, he unlocked his second magic animal shift: goat-demon. "Yep, that''ll be him. You better shift back to human; he might get spooked and disappear if he sees you in this form," I advise. (To be clear, it''s not like *I''m* freaked out by the nightmarish demon with rotting flesh and ck pits for eyes, and I''m definitely not two seconds away from gouging my own ears so I can''t hear the sweet, innocent voice of a childing out of a gaping maw of evil... I''m just worried about the leprechaun. They''re sensitive.) We follow the sounds of cobbling to a giant oak tree with a hollowed-out trunk. Warm yellow light spills out of a window, a chimney sticks haphazardly out of the bark, tendrils of smoke wisping into the air, and a little red door beckons. I halt us for a second, so I can mentally prepare. As far as I know, Charisma is a purely passive stat. It''s an influencer, not an active creator. But when I purposefully up my own charm and act well, it seems to up my Charisma''s potency, and my NPC maniption works even better. I think. Well, there''s no better NPC to test my theory than this. Here goes nothing. (I am the NPC whisperer.) I check to make sure Little Dude''s human and also upright; I''m half-concerned he''s gonna pass out from excitement. I also swipe on the video function to record any embarrassing reactions, because that''s what friends are for. Even Taliesin has to hunch to enter the door; I''m practically crawling. But once we enter the warm dwelling, there''s plenty of room to stand. I could probably even unfurl my wings, except I''d be afraid of knocking over tiny tools or stands of shoes. At a small worktable, a pint-sized fae with green-tinged skin, a curly red beard, and a green coat embroidered with red thread and shiny gold buttons hammers away on the sole of a boot. [Flynn the Fae Cobbler] floats above his ck hat. "Eep," Taliesin squeaks, eyes saucer-wide. I snort. Man, that''s going to be a great soundbite/gif. "What might two young gents such as yourself be doin'' in my wee shop?" the leprechaun asks without looking up from his work. "Er...uh...hi!" Taliesin blurts. "We''re here for normal reasons! Definitely not to steal your pot of gold!" I squeeze the kid''s shoulder hard in warning and ster a smile on my face."Sorry Master Flynn. Taliesin here''s a fan. Too excited to speak straight, poor bloke." Flynn chuckles and shakes his head. "At least he gets right to the point." "Honest to a fault, this one." I side-eye re at the moron Pu`ca, and he has the sense to look sheepish. "Anyway, it''s true we''re not here to rob you. Firstly, I''m in need of a pair of boots." Interest piqued, Flynn can''t help but let his eyes flicker over to my feet. He purses his lips and tuts. "Oi, what''re you thinking, clunking around in those fur-lined boots during the warm season?" "They''re all I have, I''m afraid." I sigh sadly. "That''ll not do at all," he grumbles, mbering to his feet. "If you''ve got materials, I''ll move you to the top of my list and have you in proper footwear in two blinks of a kelpie''s evil eye." Assuring him I''m very grateful, I list some materials I''ve umted, and though he harrumphs and dismisses most of them, he eventually selects enough materials to get to work. Right before he can begin, however, I stop him. "What now, boy?" he snaps. "I''d like to propose a wager, if you''re interested," I say, challenge glinting in my eyes. Flynn''s pointed ears twitch, and his bushy red eyebrows raise. "Aye? And what kinda wager might that be?" "I''ve heard tell that often, when you''re in the middle of crafting, the very people you''re trying to help get funny ideas; they attack and trap you, all for the sake of your hidden gold." The leprechaun tries to frown, like this mention pains him, but he can''t keep the impish sneer off his face. I purposefully left out the part that Flynn himself puts those "funny ideas" in their heads in the first ce, all so he can watch them fall victim to greed and fail miserably. "What of it?" he asks. "I''ve had a thought, you see," I exin. "We''re all civilized here. Let''s not bother with the capturing and double-crossing and such nonsense. Instead, why not handle all possible funny business with a simple wager." "I''m listenin''," he grunts, tiny arms crossed. He looks like a bearded toddler, looking skeptically at a pile of mashed potatoes, wondering if his parents hid broli under it. ''Don''tugh and fuck this up. Don''tugh and fuck this up,'' I mentally chastise myself. "You have hidden three enchanted gold pieces, and the only way to make your pot of gold appear is to find all three, correct?" He looks surprised that I know so much. "Maybe..." "What if I say that by the time you finish cobbling me a new pair of boots, we''ll have found your gold three times? It''s as you love to say: If we find it once, it''s luck..." "Twice is coincidence..." he continues. "But three times is fate, and that pot is destined to be ours," I finish. "If we can find it before you finish your project, we keep it fair and square, and I walk out of here richer and styling in my new pair of boots. If we can''t, we''ll do your deadly penalty quest, withoutint." Flynn rubs his beard, eyes narrowed in suspicion. I keep my face as neutral as possible, and Taliesin always looks innocent and naive, so he''s really selling it for me. "Fine," Flynn says, and I mentally cheer. "But one of you has to stay here while I work, and when you lose, you do my quest and pay double for these boots, besides." "No problem," I assure him. I''m not the one who''s oozing Luck, and besides, I wanted to stay on guard anyway, to make sure Flynn can''t interfere and move the coins around if he senses Taliesin getting close. The leprechaun smiles, and a shiver runs down my spine. Somehow, I feel like I''ve forgotten an important detail, and now I''m the one who''s about to be screwed. "One more thing, boyo. I get to be the one who decides who stays and who goes hunting for treasure." I freeze, hand outstretched to shake on our deal. Did he read through my n? His poisonous trickster smile deepens. "You think I can''t smell the Luck of Gael on this young fae halfling?" he asks, nodding to Taliesin. "I am Luck incarnate. You have a hint of Luck upon ye, but the Pu`ca is drowning in it." Tits. Thinking furiously, I tell Flynn we''ll need a few minutes outside to discuss. Heughs confidently and waves us off. "You didn''t tell me you already knew this guy," Taliesin says when we''re out of earshot. "Did you beat him in the beta?" "Not even close. Nobody did. General consensus is that it''s impossible without Perceive 30 plus Detect Trace Lvl 3, at least." "What the hell?!" Taliesin yelps. "It''s stupid to even try this, then, right?" I shake my head. "Not entirely. Each coin found does give a reward. The first one''s the easiest, so the reward is just that: 1 gold coin. Only a few people found the second one, and they scored about 50 gold, I think? Pretty sure the game''s designed so that no one can find the third one until the game''s economy has advanced enough the full reward isn''t worth as much." Taliesin sighs. "So we were always screwed, just as I thought." I kick a tree in frustration. "No, I had a solid n to find all three, and get myself a turret." "How?" "Luck." I remember a forum post discussing the mysterious Luck stat, and someone posited that quests like this could bepleted as easily with enough Luck as with high enough Perception. There''s a fun feature that allows a person to pull up their map and "throw" a dart at it. Certain magic Skills turn this into a type of Divining, when searching for missing items or people. With enough Luck, you should be able to do something simr even without the Skills, but only when on Seek-and-Find Quests with searchable items that give off a magical resonance. Flynn''s gold coins lightly call to the Seeker, and the closer you get in range, the stronger the pull. Ergo, I strongly suspected Taliesin''s absurd Luck stat should make it possible for him to fumble his way around and find all three coins, given enough time. Most people in the beta failed not because they couldn''t have eventually found the coins, but because they couldn''t find them in the time limit. I figured I could stall, using my Charisma and penchant for causing chaos, and Taliesin would be able to find the gold. WAIT. I GOT IT. I startughing, mostly because the n I just came up with is SO FREAKING STUPID OMG. "What?" Taliesin perks up. "You have a n, don''t you?" "Hahaha, oh yes, Little Dude. I''ma get me that turret. That, or I''ma piss off a tiny green man so much I''ll end up owing him my firstborn child. Either way, it won''t be boring." Taliesin seems uncertain. "He seems nice, though. Isn''t it rude to take his life savings?" Seriously. How is this kid a gamer? "Collecting gold is a hobby for leprechauns. They find it underground while they tunnel about. They don''t need it or even miss it. Mostly, they keep pots of gold around just to fuck with greedy humans, which honestly, hrious. More power to ''em. But if you get your kicks being a trickster dick, you have to be prepared to be swindled right back." Taliesin looks unconvinced, but he can''t help being psyched by the challenge of swindling an epic swindler. He nods. "Ster. So here''s the n, little man..." Chapter 61: Boom. Swindled. Chapter 61: Boom. Swindled. | Flynn the Fae Cobbler POV | (because why the hell not) --- Flynn stumbles back into his shop for the fourth time, beard singed, hat crumpled, and coat missing two of its shiny gold buttons. "Go n-ithe an cat th is go n-ithe an diabhal an cat, a shlomadir francach,"** Flynn curses as he pushes past the Pu`ca halfling staring at him with wide-eyed innocence and concern. **("May the cat eat you, and may the Devil eat the cat, you rat bastard." -- Good old-fashioned Gaelic curse.) Nostrils ring in anger, Flynn flings himself onto his work stool and picks up his hammer. When he sees how close he is to finally finishing the D''Raven boy''s boots, however, he takes a deep breath to calm himself down. Now''s not the time to give in to his emotions. Beating the two brats who''ve given him this much trouble will be the best reward at the end of this disastrous day. And that Erebus fellow, who thinks he''s so damnably smart, well he didn''t notice Flynn never specified which "penalty quest" he''d make the boys do when they lose. They won''t being back from this quest alive, no matter how many lives the Fate-Blessed Children have. Imagining their screams of terror lifts Flynn''s spirits, and he renews his efforts to finish cobbling the boots with a smile on his face. ''I''ll give the little guy credit,'' Flynn thinks grudgingly. ''Boyo''s done a fine job making me waste time. The forest fire was a stroke of genius; I''m not even sure how he managed that one. Then there was the lightning, the beast horde, the bees...'' The leprechaun shudders. ''But none of it matters now, in the end. These boots are almost finished, and no amount of stalling was enough to help them find my precious treasure!'' Chuckling to himself, Flynn nces up at the clock ticking away on the wall. Wincing at the time, he starts working even faster. ''If Da were alive to see me take almost a full hour to cobble a single pair of boots, though, he''d whap me upside the head with me own hammer.'' The Pu`ca, Flynn thinks his name might be Taliesin, jiggles his knee and fiddles with his sword Excalibur as he also nervously watches the clock. The sight cheers Flynn even more, and he can''t help a snide remark. "You think you''ve done well, but even if he had all the Luck in the world, and your partner is definitelycking there, that boy could never have found me coins. He isn''t born of Gael, so he can''t use the fae portals." The Pu`ca pales, as if it never urred to him the final coin might not be located within this particr forest. The boy gets to his feet and starts pacing, thundercloud gray eyes glued to the cuckoo clock. Wait a minute. The leprechaun''s steady hands freeze, as his mind races. Something is wrong. Something is out of ce. But what? Suddenly, it hits him, and his hammer tumbles from his hand and tters on the floor. Flynn barely notices, as he''s jumping to his feet. He points dramatically at the demihuman boy and cries, "IT''S YOU!" "It''s me!" a confident voice that sounds just like Erebus shouts from outside the tiny red door. Confusion clouds Flynn''s face, and he whirls to face the door. "And me!" another voice that sounds like Erebus shouts from inside the shop. The leprechaun whirls back to face the first boy. To his shock, the Pu`ca''s body and face appear to be melting and morphing. A hooded figure bursts through the door, victoriously holding up three glittering gold coins. "IT''S US!" both Erebus voices shout, and then the neer throws off Erebus''s hood to reveal a grinning Taliesin. ----- | Erebus/Eric POV | Holy bejeebus I can''t believe that worked. BAHAHAHAHA I AM SO AWESOME. "How...what...but...HOW?" Flynn splutters, too bewildered to even be angry. Red splotches flush his face, and his wiry red hair is sticking out in every direction; he looks like a very Irish mad scientist who can''t understand how his unnatural creation grew powerful enough to turn on him. "A magic hood, impressive impersonation skills, a dumbass n and two dumber-ass gamers willing to go along with it...plus a dash of Luck." If anything, the leprechaun looks even more baffled and unnerved, but it''s the truth. I brandish Excalibur a few times, then with a flourish, I hand the beautiful de back to its rightful owner. I''m a little sad to let it go, but I know Zen''aku would probably not get along with the shiny shortsword anyway. "If you want to hear all the details, I want to see that pot of gold we rightfully earned. Once the money''s safely tucked away in my wallet, we can talk." Flynn tries to argue, but no amount of wheedling and whining will budge me. Eventually, with a heaving melodramatic sigh, he snaps his fingers, and a ck pot of glittering coins appears at our feet. 500 gold coins fill the pot, and at the very bottom, we also find three Rainbow Teleportation Charms. Today is the best day. The pot itself is a magic item as well, but it only works for leprechauns. I can tell Flynn''s more upset about losing the pot than he is the gold and charms, so I offer a trade: the pot for a friend request ept. yers can be "friends" with NPCs, though it''s a different system than the inter-yer friend and chat system. Being "friends" with an NPC allows you to contact them as long as you''re in the same Realm. It''s not usually useful or necessary, since most NPCs stay in the same general ces and are therefore easy to find in person. But Flynn''s notoriously difficult to find, especially if you''ve already found him once. He''s suspicious, but once I exin what I''d want to contact him about, his mischievous heart is swayed, and he agrees. Once all the goods are put away, I briefly exin how we swindled the great fae swindler. First, it came down to my Changeling Hood and Taliesin''s insane trust. I used the Copy Change skill to transform into Taliesin, then we switched gear. To fully sell it, he had to let me borrow Excalibur, since Flynn would have immediately noticed I was missing such a legendary de. Honestly, that one part of the n is why this would never work with normal people. Who in their right mind would let another yer borrow Ex-fucking-caliber?! Even crazier, he did it even though my own swords are safe with my cksmith right now, so he couldn''t even hold onto Zen''aku as insurance. Between Taliesin and Lis, I know too many people way too freaking pure to y this game. I''m d I had the sword, regardless, since I ended up fighting so many monsters and buzzing murder bees while waiting for Taliesin to return, I''m almost Level 15 now. Once we switched gear and equipment, Taliesin pulled up the hood to cover his face and used his ability to copy my voice to answer a few questions before taking off to search for the coins. "But the Luck!" Flynn interjects. "You had barely any Luck before, and now you somehow both smell like you''re overflowing with it." As he says it, the clock strikes the hour, and faint wooden chimes can be heard, off in the distance. Flynn starts, then sniffs the air again. He stares at me in shock. "It''s gone. All of it. You don''t even have a trace of Luck left. How is that possible?" I hold up the +1 Luck ne. "What you sensed about me at first was my usual -1 Bad Luck. Since you mentioned smelling it, I realized you couldn''t tell good luck from bad; you could only sense Luck in general. Right now, with this ne, I''m at a perfect Zero Luck, so you can''t sense anything." Then I exin my Fickle Fortune skill Erratic Luck. I cast it on myself, so for one hour, I would have either Great Luck, Decent Luck, or Miserable Fortune. If I''d ended up with Decent Luck, we would have been screwed, since that wouldn''t have been equal to Taliesin''s natural Luck, and Flynn would have seen through me. But I had faith that it would be Miserable Fortune. Call it a hunch. The Luck was so bad, actually, I still had more Bad Luck than Taliesin had Good Luck, even with Excalibur and Taliesin''s ne. Joy. "So the forest fire, the bees, all those disasters...you didn''t do them on purpose?" I grin. "Well, I figured if I could snag a ton of Bad Luck, they''d happen whether I wanted them to or not, and as long as I survived, it would give Little Dude here enough time to find your secret stash!" Flynn hadn''t wanted toe all the way outside to hear whether we were going to take him up on the bet or not, so Taliesin pretended to be me, from far enough away the leprechaun couldn''t sense our Luck stats. Then Taliesin turned and left, and I walked toward the shop, smelling like a ton of Luck. Flynn was never the wiser, at least until he finally noticed the one difference between me and the original: my eyes never changed from gray to Taliesin''s bright green. As soon as he realized I was an imposter, my Copy Change skill was forcibly cancelled, and I started morphing back into myself. "So that''s how we did it, Master Flynn. Impressed?" I shoot him a lopsided smirk and cross my arms. At first Flynn looks like he wants to strangle me, but then he grins, too. "Honestly, yes. You''re the first to outwit me, and I admit, you''re worthy adversaries." I''m prouder of that than I probably should be. Since we''re the first toplete the challenge, we score a load of EXP, and right before the first 36 hours of Viren''s Refuge ends, I hit Level 15. Pleased with ourselves, Taliesin and I head back to Tara, me styling in my brand-new badass boots. We trade the rest of our gear back, too, except: "You should keep that," Taliesin says as I try to hand him the shamrock ne. "What, really?" He shrugs and beams his usual bright, friendly smile. "I don''t really need it, and honestly, I''ll probably find more Luck amulets before long, so..." "Lucky brat," I say, and bonk him on the head. Affectionately. We make it right inside the gates of Tara as the game goes dark, and when the first official day of Viren''s Refuge ends, my Luck is a perfectly bnced Zero. Chapter 62: Consequences Chapter 62: Consequences Fucking hell, I''m exhausted. In-game, 36 hours of intense activity just passed, but in real life, my brain and body were essentially asleep for 12 hours. I could feel a little out of it, and that might be normal, but for the most part, I should feel well-rested and ready to take on the day. I should not feel like I haven''t slept in a month. And yet. As I swing my legs out of my V-Haven pod, I feel as bone-weary as a liver-spotted octogenarian with osteoporosis, and my groans fill my empty apartment. Alopix had perked up the second he heard the hiss of the V-Haven opening, but now he whimpers in sympathy at the pathetic noises I''m making, big furry head tilted in concern. "It''s fine, buddy. I''m fine. Just need a minute to adjust," I murmur reassuringly, before I break into a wide-mouthed yawn. I reach up to cover my mouth, but freeze when I touch something wet. "What the?" Red blood covers my fingers, and continues to drip from my nose, streaking down over my lips. Pix whines louder, even more worried, so I wipe my hand on my pants and push myself standing to show him I''m fine. "Shh, Pixy, s''all good. Just a little nosebleed. Nothing to worry about." He barks, and I frown because that''s his Warning: Danger! bark, and that doesn''t make any sense, so I bend over to scratch his head and calm him down. "Huh, wha" I gasp, as my vision spins, and my hand misses Pixpletely, and I''m falling, falling... The barking gets louder and deeper, more urgent, but it sounds far away. Then the barks turn into high-pitched keening, and Pix gently licks my hand. "Good boy," I mumble. Then everything goes dark. ---- "ric." A deep voice rumbles like summer thunder in my sensitive ears. "Eric, can you hear me?" ''Yes,'' I want to say. ''I can hear you. Everyone must be able to hear you. You''re so loud.'' "Keep talking to him," another voice says. It''s higher, female, and also loud. So very loud. Tears squeeze from my closed eyes. It hurts. I want to cover my ears and hide, but my body won''tcan''t move. "Eric, c''mon. Lieu, buddy, it''s me. Wake up, man. It''s time to wake up." Was I asleep? Was it quiet there? If so, I want to sleep again. A door opens, and I hear a gruff snuffle I recognize. "You can''t bring that here," the louddy says. "How''d you even get it to this floor?" The click of nails on tile is loud as gunshots in my head, and the tears flow faster. "He''s not an It," a small, angry voice snaps. "He''s the one who saved Eric, and I just know he''ll make Eric feel better again." Something heavy depresses part of the bed, and then a warm, fluffy muzzle is lying on my chest. "Woof," the fluff says, and somehow this isn''t so loud. Warm breath huffs across my face, and a tongue licks my face. "Seriously, you must take that creature out of here! This is a hospital!" Her strident voice pierces my ears like ice picks, and my entire body shakes. Terrornces through me, and my heart starts to race. Not a hospital. Not again. "Woof," the fluff says again, and this time I follow Pix''s directions. I open my eyes. "Hey buddy," I whisper, voice hoarse and dry. "Eric! You''re alive!" Robbie''s tear-streaked face swims into view, before he whirls to face the doctor. "I told you, see! I told you Pix would help him." The poor woman looks flustered for a moment, but then she gets over it and moves into action. "Mr. Lieu, wee back. I''m Dr. Singh. Can you hear me?" "Loud," I whisper. "Excuse me? What was that?" she asks, eyebrows knitted in concern. I lick my lips, trying to wet my dry mouth. "It''s loud. Everything. So loud," I manage to say. Someone sobs behind the doctor, so my gaze flickers past her. Deion''s eyes are red, and he''s slumped against his husband. Theo''s supporting them both, which might be funny if it weren''t so concerning. Theo''s even slimmer than me, a math teacher with light brown skin and shoulder-length dreadlocks. Deion''s 6''4 (193cm) and super athletic, ex-basketball yer. Now he works private security and might be in even better shape than he was when he yed college ball. But this giant, highly-trained bodyguard is a total mess in my sterile white hospital room, face haggard under the harsh fluorescent lights that sting my eyes. Theo''s the only reason he''s still standing. "You look like shit, dude," I say. Heugh-sobs and he grips Theo''s hand tighter. "Is that our new standard greeting? We''re just going to remind each other we look like shit, forever, until we''re old and gray and even my ck ass wrinkles?" My brain''s functioning enough now for me to tell Deion''s actually talking quietly, his deep bass voice barely above a murmur. But I still wince as the sound assaults my ears. Dr. Singh notices, and her eyes tighten in rm. "Mr. Lieu, you''re experiencing a sensory overload," she exins in as quiet a voice as she can, as she moves to turn off the lights, close the blinds, and silence the heart monitor. It''s better, but I still don''t understand what''s going on. I bury my face into Pix''s fur and focus on my breathing. "This should pass soon, so I want you tell me as soon as you feel you''re returning to normal, is that all right?" I nod, relieved that whatever this is, it doesn''t appear permanent. Dr. Singh clicks her teeth, then turns for the door. "I''m going to head off the nurse bringing theb results I asked for. Keep this door closed so no one sees the dog." "I take it back," Robbie says, once she''s gone. "Dr. Singh''s a real bro." Deion and I both huff augh at that, though I immediately regret it because it makes my head pound. "Fuck, Lieu, sorry," he apologizes. I lightly shake my head. "Nah, it''s okay. Can you just tell me what happened? Why am I here?" Silence. It''s all I wanted a few minutes ago, but now... With onest pat for Alopix, I lift my head and stare at my three neighbors. My friends. Robbie cracks first. "At first I thought Pix was just excited to see you again," he says quietly. It''s unnerving to see his normally bright face so solemn. "I knew it was about time for the big Day One to end, so I wasn''t worried. But then the barking kept going. And got louder, like Pix hade to the door to bark with all his might." Pix whines a little, like he can understand Robbie and remembers how worried he''d been. I give up all semnce of hospital propriety and pat the bed. He jumps up immediately and curls into me. All 60 lbs (27kg) of him. It''s a little harder to breathe, but totally worth it. "Good boy," I whisper again. He licks my face. "School''s out for the holiday, so I was home. Robbie told me he was worried, so we both went to check on you," Theo continues the story. He has one of the calmest, smoothest voices I''ve ever heard. I''ve always told him he was wasted as a math teacher, since no one listens to math teachers. Dude should be a voice actor. I''d listen to the man read a dictionary. (Actually, pretty sure I once got drunk and made him record me an ASMR vid that was literally him reading a refrigerator repair manual.) "I was still with a client, wrapping up post-New Year''s celebrations." Deion sounds furious with himself, like it was somehow his fault he was at work when I spontaneously copsed. "I used my key toe in, and Pix was lying on the floor next to you, worried, and he didn''t evene over when I came inside, he just stayed right by you. And you were facedown, but there was blood on your face and the floor, and I didn''t know where the blood came from, and you were so pale, and sweaty, and shaking. Shaking all over." Robbie''s shaking himself, talking about it, so Theo brings Deion closer and they both hug their son. "Shh, it''s all right now. Eric''s all good, thanks to you and Pix," Theo soothes him quietly, lightly rubbing his back. "You''re doing a good job telling Lieu what happened," Deion says, ruffling Robbie''s hair. "I think you should finish it, but remember, Uncle Lieu''s not feeling so great right now, so we have keep our voices quiet, okay?" "Mhmm," Robbie replies, sniffling and nodding. He turns back to me, but stays wrapped in his family''s arms. My heart breaks, a little, to see how well they all fit together. "I think the good doctor was telling the truth," I tell them. "Your voices aren''t hurting me anymore." It''s a partial lie, but my ears do seem less sensitive. I no longer feel like wing my own head off, so this is progress. "You''re doing great, Robbie. Go ahead." Robbie takes a deep breath and barrels ahead. "I wanted to run over to check on you, but Pops stopped me, said we shouldn''t move you, and we called an ambnce, and they brought you here. Alopix didn''t want you out of his sight for a second, but Pops and I held him back because they said no dogs in the ambnce, and Pix was crying, and it was sad. Then we called Dad, and he was closer, so he came right over, and me and Pops took your car, so we could bring Pix, because I knew you''d want to see him. And he definitely wanted to see you. And so that''s what happened." Overwhelmed, I look over to Theo and Deion. Theo nods, expression tight. "That''s pretty much it," he agrees. I thank them both, for everything, but they''ll hear none of it. Finally, I give up and ask if any of them have heard why I copsed in the first ce. "They haven''t told us anything," Deion answers, angry again. "Won''t tell us. They only let me in because Dr. Singh thought hearing someone you recognized might help you wake up, keep you from getting disoriented." "Well it worked. Your annoying voice could wake the dead. I never stood a chance." I smile weakly at Deion, and he grins back, though his smile is a fragile thing. He still manages to flip me off above Robbie''s head, so I know he''ll be okay. The door opening draws our attention, and we all breathe a sigh of relief as Dr. Singh walks back in, file in hand. "So what''s the verdict, doc?" I ask, trying for light-hearted (but honestly failing pretty hard.) She levels me with a serious look that I can only assume is not good. "What do you know about Nutri-Peak solutions?" she asks. Chapter 63: Somnolent Immersion-Induced Neural Overload Chapter 63: Somnolent Immersion-Induced Neural Overload "Nutri-Peak?" I repeat, brows knit in confusion. "Yes, their nutrient solutions, specifically," Dr. Singh rifies. "Have you consumed any of their products recently?" "He just got a huge shipment today!" Robbie answers before I can. "Did the bottles hurt him?" ''Don''t jump to conclusions,'' I want to say, but a sinking suspicion in the pit of my stomach makes me think the kid may be onto something. Dr. Singh somehow looks even more serious. "Bottles, plural? How many bottles of nutrient solution have you consumed in thest 24 hours, Mr. Lieu?" I don''t answer immediately. When she asks it straight out like that, I kinda want to smack myself for being the world''s greatest moron. Luckily, Robbie''s always ready to tell it like it is, and he fills the vacuum my silence leaves in the hospital room. "At least four bottles of A-grade!" he exims. "Maybe more! And that shouldn''t be possible. I bet they were tainted or something. Did they poison him? Did he do too good so they tried to assinasate him?!" "You mean, ''ass-ass-i-nate,'' honey," Theo corrects him gently, patting his head. I can only shake my head. Is that really the important point here, dude? Teachers, man. Physically can''t help themselves. "No, kiddo, no one''s trying to hurt me," I reassure Robbie, throwing a pointed look at his Pops. "Except perhaps yourself," Dr. Singh says severely. "What possessed you to consume so much solution in so short a timespan?" "Um," I reply, shrinking back into my pillows. The doctor''s as short as Arachne, but when she stares down at me like that, and uses that particr "I can''t believe how dumb that was; I am severely disappointed right now, young man" voice, I revert to an idiotic kid terrified of a super strict teacher. "What''s Robbie talking about, Lieu?" Deion asks me. "Why''d you already get a new shipment?" I focus on him, since he looks confused instead of angry. I exin how I went through the first four bottles of A-grade solution in a few short hours, and then exin how a second shipment of solution arrived. I pause my story there, though. S-grade solution isn''t supposed to exist yet. I''m not sure why, exactly, but something keeps me from exining the special Nova upgrade I''d epted. At least, not until I know more about what''s going on. I turn back to the scary Dr. Singh. "What makes you ask about the solution? What exactly happened to me?" Her dark eyes look sharply at me, like she knows I''m not saying everything. But she answers me anyway, "Are you familiar with BSN, Broad-Spectrum Neurostimnts?" I nod, then wince as the motion wracks my head, and my stomach heaves. Deion''s right there with a waste basket for me to heave into. Nothing more than clear bilees out, since I haven''t physically eaten in over twelve hours, but I appreciate the save anyway. I break out into a cold sweat and lean back into the scratchy hospital pillows. Dr. Singh pauses our discussion to recheck my vitals. Once she''s sure I''m fine, or fine-ish, she picks back up where she left off: "The Nutri-Peak nutrients are legitimate and promote a healthy mind and body. However, the highest-grade solutions, A and B, contain trace elements of Broad-Spectrum Neurostimnts. BSNs increase neurotransmitter activity in the brain, and they activate the adrenal nd to release increased levels of adrenaline." I absently pet Alopix and nerd out a little, "Yeah, I know. The genius of the design is that BSNs only trigger when a person is immersed in full-dive technology. That way, the neural pathways below the brain are intercepted by the game avatar, so the BSNs don''t affect any nerves below the brain stem." Dr. Singh nods stiffly, but she doesn''t seem as impressed as I am. "Then have you heard of SIINO?" It sounds like "see-no," and I admit I''ve never heard the term before. She frowns. "Somnolent Immersion-Induced Neural Overload." I don''t know what most of that means, but it sounds bad the way she says it. My friends must agree, because all three of them react differently. Robbie''s face scrunches up like he''s going to cry. Deion looks angry again, but also frustrated because he''s not sure who he''s supposed to be angry at. And Theo grips his husband and son a little tighter, face solemn. I can''t keep looking at them, so I just focus on my dog. Alopix does not seem bothered by whatever SIINO is. He is just happy to be getting cuddles and pets and to have me awake and not convulsing on the floor in a puddle of my own blood. Dogs are easy to please that way. "Good boy," I murmur for what must be the thousandth time this afternoon. "Researchers have yet to officially verify SIINO as a diagnosis, but many of us in the field are already convinced it not only exists, but that it presents a very real danger," Dr. Singh exins. "What is it, exactly?" Deion asks, because he knows I''m not going to. "A side effect of high levels of BSNs. Essentially, a person experiencing SIINO can suffer from a variety of negative effects: elevated heart rate, difficulty breathing, migraines, nausea, tremors, sensory overload, as well as more severe side effects like hallucinations and mania." "See, told you it was no biggie," I tell Deion, stering my trademark smirk on my face. He tenses like he wants to punch me. Fair enough. Dr. Singh simply ignores my false bravado. "These effects present themselves immediately after emerging from a full-immersive dive. Under the high-grade solution, your brain was firing on all cylinders, and you were astutely aware of the sensory information the virtual reality was providing you. Now that you''re back in earth reality, the sensory information is not only very different, but also your brain is no longer under the effects of BSNs. Hence, the disorientation and overload." "If it''s so bad, why haven''t we heard any warnings about this?" Theo asks. The doctor sighs. "Honestly, because there have only been two confirmed cases of anyone experiencing any of these side effects. Three, now, with Mr. Lieu." "Howe?" Robbie asks. "There are so few BSNs in even the highest-grade A solution, it takes an inordinate amount of solution, consumed in a short period of time, for the brain activity to progress to the levels needed to be dangerous. Most people would never be able to consume enough BSNs to reach these elevated levels. Plus, even if a normal person drank an entire case of solution, their brains wouldn''t be able to absorb and use that many BSNs. The unused neurostimnts would remain dormant and do nothing. Only very extraordinary brains, working in extraordinary ways, can actually use the BSNs well enough and quickly enough to incite SIINO." "Mama always said I was special," I say. "No she didn''t," Deion replies. "Oof. True, but rude. You should be nicer to me. I''m an invalid, you know." "No, you''re an idiot," he snaps back. "And if you don''t sue the bastards at Nutri-Peak and Vir-Tech and Zhao mother-effing Jianyu himself, I''m going to put you back in this hospital with my bare hands." I decide I''m definitely not going to mention the S-grade solutions now. If he realized I was using non-approved top-secret solutions I''m pretty sure the AI system hooked me up with all on its own, he would probably storm Vir-Tech Labs all by himself. After he kicked my ass from here to Canada. I force myself to sit up and look him square in the eye. "I get you''re upset, but chill for a second, all right? The doc''s saying this was a super rare fluke. And maybe that SIINO thingy isn''t even real; no one knows for sure. I''ll reach out to Vir-Tech and Nutri-Peak and sort this all out. I need you to trust me. I know what I''m doing." I have no idea what I''m doing. But that''s hardly the point. I do know the S-grade solutions made me sharper and better than I''ve ever felt, and before I ruin years of research and development, I think perhaps I should go to the source and see what they have to say about all this. But then the door opens, and instead, the sourcees to me. "Good afternoon, everyone. Could I please speak to Mr. Eric Lieu alone for a moment?" A Chinese woman in a crisp zer and expensive leather briefcase emzoned with the Vir-Tech logo smiles brightly at everyone, but her eyes are locked onto mine from the moment she enters. "Ass-ass-i-nate," Robbie whispers, wide-eyed. He moves in front of my bed to block her view. Theo and Deion unconsciously follow his lead, blocking both their son and me from the woman. "How did you get in here?" Dr. Singh asks, voice tinged with anger. The Vir-Tech woman looks pointedly at Pix''s tail poking out from behind my neighbors. "A miniature pr bear managed to make it past your hospital security. Is it any wonder I could also make it to this unsecure room?" The confident smile never leaves her face for a second. Something in her demeanor, in her eyes, tells me I want to speak with her. Whether she''s friend or foe is yet to be determined. But she has something she thinks I want, and I want to know what that is. And I want to know why she showed up within half an hour of me. How did she know I was here? And why? "It''s okay guys, Dr. Singh. Let me talk to her, please," I say calmly. "Are you fucking crazy, Lieu?" Deion spits, whirling to re at me. I know Deion''s really pissed and worried because he forgot to check hisnguage in front of Robbie. I know Theo''s even more upset because he didn''t get pissed at Deion for cussing in front of Robbie. I look them both in the eye. "Seriously, it''s fine. It''s what you said, right D? I''m gonna get to the bottom of all this. Maybe make myself a mint while I''m at it. Take Robbie and get some lunch, and when you get back, I''ll still be here, ready to take any bad names you wanna throw at me, cool?" I can tell on their faces that no, it is NOT COOL, but Theo still nods and ushers his family out. Dr. Singh takes a little more convincing, but eventually, she, too leaves. "All right, mysterious Vir-Techdy, we''re alone, as requested," I say, gesturing to the empty room. "Now what can I help you with today?" Her smile widens even further, and she steps closer. Her perfume smells light and floral and stupidly expensive. "You misunderstand, Mr. Lieu. It is I who wishes to help you." I raise an eyebrow. "Oh really? And what do I need help with?" Her dark eyes gleam, and my cold sweates back with a vengeance. I start imagining all the craziest scenarios, all the most insane things she could possibly say next. And then she speaks, and even my most insane thought is nowhere near close to the truth. "Your sister, of course. I''m here about Lieu Xiuying." Chapter 64: The OG Lunatic Lieu Chapter 64: The OG Lunatic Lieu || Two-and-a-Half Years Ago || When Xiuying Lieues home from work, she kicks off her shoes and beelines for the windowless back office where she knows she''ll find her brother. Predictably, he''s ying games to unwind from a day of...ying another game. Xiuying sighs, but an indulgent smile tugs at her lips. Her brother''smitted to doing exactly what he loves, and it''s not like she''s any different. But it''s also important to see the Sun every once in a while. Breathe fresh air. Eat food. All those boring human things. Alopix woofs happily and lumbers over to say hi, tail wagging and tongue lolling. "Hey Pixy." Xiuying scratches the derpy dog''s head. "Is my obsessed gamer bro being a big old meanie and ignoring you?" "Woof." Pix looks over at Eric, whose pale face is illuminated by bright shing lights from his three monitors. Then with a low whine, Alopix turns back to Xiuying, eyes baleful and pathetic. "That''s what I thought." Xiuying pops a squat on the overstuffed beanbag in the corner and pulls out her handheld TechBrain. A holo-screen pops up and she logs into the game her brother''s ying. She sticks an earbud in one ear, getsfortable, and teleports to the battle arena where her brother is teaching mid-level yers attackbos. If she ever called Eric out for being a softie, he''d deny it to hisst breath. He likes to pretend he''s this hardcore badass who''s only looking out for himself... Except he has multiple alt ounts for over one hundred games, which he specifically uses to anonymously work with newbies and mid-level yers who have teaued and need direction to step up their gamey. Eric''s fond of saying, "Games are no fun if you suck. And games are no fun if everyone else sucks. I can''t have a good fight with someone who isn''t having fun." As if his countless hours helping newbs is purely self-serving. ''Though he IS a battle-crazy little fucker, so maybe he''s not entirely lying, either,'' Xiuying admits. She peeks at his screens to see which battle room he''s using. When her brother ys an alt ount, he always leaves as much public as possible, so anyone who stumbles across his lessons can learn a thing or two. She types in the room code, and her avatar automatically moves to the correct door. [Choose to Enter: SPECTATOR STANDS or BATTLE FLOOR] ''Called it.'' She grins, selecting the second option. Eric''s left his room totally open, so anyone who finds the door can either observe his fights or enter the battle themselves. Eric''s low-level Pdin is facing away from the entrance, so the four guys he''s teaching see Xiuying''s avatar first. "Hello? You lost?" one of the two knights asks. "Or maybe you came in for a closer look, eh Princess?" the swordsman says, brandishing his weapon. Eric turns his avatar around and sees a familiar swordswoman in delicate, flowy gear that looks straight out of a wuxia film. The pink and purple outer robe is decorated with camellia blossoms and butterflies and matches her dark purple sword and pink flowery hairpiece. "Fuck." His simple curse carries in-game and also in the dark apartment room, so Xiuying can hear it both in her headphone and in her open ear. Sheughs, but it''s not the ughter like chiming silver bells'' bullshit you might expect from her graceful, dignified avatar. Xiuying straight-up snorts. "Is that anyway to greet a challenger?" she teases in a singsong voice that makes Eric instinctively raise his Holy Shield and feel a strong desire to pray. The assassin, however, doesn''t notice the danger. "And who exactly are you challenging?" he scoffs at her. "You''re ten levels too low to even be good for a training exercise." "Fuuuuuuck," Eric repeats, this time as a long sigh. "All of you, I guess," Xiuying answers nonchntly. There''s a silent beat, then all four mid-level yers bust outughing. "Is that so?" the second knight jeers. Xiuying makes her avatar nod and cross its arms. "Yup. I have some pent-up aggression to let out; a certain someone stood me up for dinner." In real life, Eric flinches in his stupidly expensive gaming chair. "Sorry, Xiu. But maybe go easy--" he tries to say, but the mid-level swordsman cuts him off. "HA!" The swordsmanughs at Xiuying, with that obnoxious brayingugh of a man too dumb to know he''s dumb. "You got stood up? Guess you ain''t as hot as you pretending to be. You fat or just a butterface?" The others do that disingenuous dick thing where they say, "Ohh, that''s awful dude" aloud, but at the same time, they''re cracking up. The assassin high fives him. "Never mind," Eric says tly."They apparently want to die today. Kill the bastards." That shuts them up right quick. "Huh?" the first knight says stupidly. "I''m killing you, too, you know," Xiuying warns her brother, totally ignoring the others. "I forgot my purse at home, so I couldn''t even eat while I was waiting for your no-show ass. I''m hangry af, bro." Eric stretches out his fingers and leans forward in his chair, hyperfocused. "That''s my bad. But you know I''m not gonna just let you kill me. You can try. But if I kill you first, you can''t be mad." Xiuying wiggles deeper into the beanbag and cracks her neck. "Obvs. But it doesn''t matter. I''m going to kill everyone here, including you, then you''re gonna log out and feed this female." She does a few simple shes and stabs, reacquainting herself with the controls. It''s been a hot minute since she''s yed this particr title, but the controls are simr to plenty of other games. It helps that when it''s an option, Xiuying always ys magic swordsman. It''s magic and swords. Duh. Who doesn''t want to blow shit up and stab some dudes? It takes her three tries to remember the handheldbination for her fave fire-sh skill, but once she''s found it, she''s ready to take on these clowns and drag her brother to dinner. The simplicity of her moves and her clear struggle to rememberplexbos makes the other guys lower their guards. "Shit, almost had me worried," the assassin mutters. "You sure you know what you''re doing with that?" The brash swordsman taunts her, then inputs amand that has his avatar make a lewd gesture with his own sword. Xiuying rolls her eyes and has her avatar flourish her violet de. "Girls can appreciate tasteful phallic imagery too, you know. Now shut up, I''ma impale you fuckers." And then she does. Literally. Impale''s a move she invented herself, though her best friend affectionately calls it d''s Hello. With a running start to gain momentum, she slides low, then stabs up with a vertical Lunge "right up the arsehole," as she bluntly exined when she first taught Eric the move. The Lunge causes a knock-up effect that looks like the victim''s raised and impaled upon her sword (and they kind of are), then she initiates ntSlice, which smashes them to ground. Sometimes, she''ll cancel the ntSlice skill partway, which throws the unlucky dude wherever she wants; usually to Eric or her bff to finish off the opponent. After Xiuying Impales the assassin and swordsman, one of the knights rushes to Eric. "What the fuck kind of move is that?" he shrieks. Eric chuckles, proud of his terrifying sibling, even as he tries to blow her up with a Holy st. She flings the swordsman into the path of the st instead, and the explosion knocks him into the other knight. "Niiiice," Eric acknowledges under his breath. Then he turns to the knight next to him. "My sister said she got the idea from a yaoi manga. Guess all those flowers and sparkles are hiding some dark shit. The Japanese are terrifying, man." No matter how hard Eric tries to get his temp team to keep it together and fight Xiuying with the strategies he''d been too busy teaching them to remember it was Sib Din (sibling dinner) Night, they simply can''t counter the insanity that is his sister. On top of Impale, she also has the impressive ability to stack skills in fauxbos using mid-strike skill canceling like a madwoman. The skills don''t inflict all the damage they''re supposed to, but there''s also no "end-of-skill" animation, so she''s a fucking whirlwind. Plus, she uses her shy magic initiation animation to trick opponents into guarding against one skill, then quickly cancels and actually strikes with another. She calls the technique Cancel Camouge. Using it made Eric famous at his first World Championships, but he''s nowhere near Xiuying''s level. There is exactly no skill she won''t cancel if she sees a reason. She''ll cancel an epic skill with an hour-long cooldown and strike with a simple Downward sh if it means she''ll end up one step closer to the big W. In essence, this means there''s no way to know what the hell ising when a person''s fighting Xiuying. "Li means ughter, bro. Got to live up to the hype!" she exims, clearly having the time of her life surrounded by chaos. He''d be lying if he said he didn''t get it. But currently, her chaos is his annoyance. Thanks to the confusion created by her madness, Eric ends up taking more damage from his own teammates than from his sister. Against one of the knights, Xiuying cancels the same AoE skill three times in a row and each time, attacks with a closebat strike hidden in the shing animation of the cancelled skill. So then the fourth time she starts the AoE, the knight unconsciously backs away from the melee skill he assumes ising. Except this time, it''s not. She doesn''t cancel the AoE, so he''s standing exactly in the epicenter of the explosion when itnds. Womp womp dead knight. She takes out Ericst, and she has to give him credit, he almost takes her down with him. Considering how shitty his Pdin alt is, and the fact that he chooses not to Heal himself during their battle, honestly, she barely considers it a win. But she does still record it as her win on their Sibling Rivalry Board, because obviously. "Barely still counts, bitchez." "FUCKIN'' HELL, XIUYING! You''ve been here the whole time?!" Eric yells, spinning around in his chair, headphones down around his neck. "Surprise." With a sigh, he powers down his monitors. "You couldn''t just tap me on the damn shoulder like a normal person?" "Where''s the fun in that?" She grins and stretches. "Better to remind you that you DO still have somepetition in this world, even if you wonst year''s Olympics." "Yeah, yeah, you''re the Best Ever Oh My God, may all mortals bow at your divine feet," Eric says drily. She raises an eyebrow and puts a hand on her hip. "Is that any tone to be using with the woman you left hanging at Sib Din?" Eric winces and puts his hands up in a cating gesture. "No, no, I meant it. For real. You''re the bestest big sister in the whole wide world." Her grin widens and her dark gray eyes sparkle. "You bet your skinny ass I am." She reaches into her jeans pocket... (which is actually big enough to hold Items and Things because this is the Future and Arachne definitely designed women''s pants to have actual, functional pockets in this beautiful sci-fi universe) ...and pulls out two glossy tickets. "I was going to reveal these babies at dinner, but now''s good, too, I suppose." Eric''s jaw drops and he rushes to grab one. "No. Fucking. Way." "Yes fucking way. It''s on, little bro." Eric squeezes his sister and lifts her off the floor in a bear hug. Excited by their excitement, Alopix barks happily and jumps up to add his paws to the Family Hug. "World Tech Expo, here weeeeee!" Chapter 65: Flashbacks and Flashbangs Chapter 65: shbacks and shbangs || Still Two-and-a-Half Years Ago || The World Tech Expo feels more like a music festival or an epic carnival than the techy geek heaven it really is. In fact, the Expo takes ce in the same downtown Seattle location as an actual music festival, Bumbershoot. This particr Expo is an especially big deal, since it''s being held the same year as the 25th Anniversary of the founding of the One World Federation. Only countries who have stayed true to the One World treaty, dissolved their national governments, and sent representatives to the Federation Governmental Council are allowed to participate. As such, the organizers spared no expense making the event extravagant and awe-inspiring. This is partially to highlight the amazing innovations made possible by inter-country knowledge-sharing, but it''s mostly to metaphorically flip off every country that hasn''t kept up their end of the deal. Pretty much the equivalent of: "Na nana na na! Look at all the cool shit you can''t have!" In their petty defense, it IS kinda hard to have a One World Federation and unite all humanity on Earth under one g, if some countries still consider themselves outside the One World... Under the towering Space Needle and surrounded by gorgeous gardens and colorful Chihuly ss sculptures, inventors and techpanies from around the world disy innovative science and technology. Many of the disys are housed inside the area buildings, but the most amazing reveals are made on the huge outdoor stages, where crowds in the thousands gather to see the future of tech. Eric''s vintage Iron Man t-shirt seems especially appropriate, Xiuying thinks. Tony Stark would absolutely get his rocks off at a ce like this. In fact, one of the first big reveals on the Main Stage is apany unveiling a prototype that looks like an extrarge Iron Man-esque suit. It''s about 2% as cool as the real Iron Man and doesn''t even fly, but it''s near indestructible and makes lifting heavy things and construction way easier and safer. There''s also a panel on cold fusion breakthroughs, and the Federation aerospace program reveals the world''s first Tractor Beam. The presentation for that one is pretty badass, and they end it by Beaming people from the crowd onstage to get a closer look. As expected, however, robotics and drone tech shines brightest and draws thergest crowds throughout the day. One of the more realistic androids gives Xiuying the absolute creeps, since its eyes move to follow anyone it locks onto, like a giant porcin doll. When it jerkily waves and says, "I seeeee you," in a creepy kid ying hide-and-seek voice, she almost decks the damn thing. Eric has to grab her fist and promise to buy her copious amounts of chocte and booze to help her forget the horrifying ordeal. Not an hourter, Xiuying''s dragged them both back to the robot arena, and she''s staring starry-eyed at a robotposing music. "Robots are too fucking awesome, no getting around that." "Even if they''re probably going to kill us all one day," Eric agrees matter-of-factly. Xiuying touches a shiny chrome robotic hand that specifically has a sign saying "DO NOT TOUCH." She probably wouldn''t have thought about touching it, except she really hates signs that unnecessarily yell at passerby in all caps. "Honestly, a significant portion of what makes them awesome in the first ce is that they''re probably going to kill us all one day," she muses. Eric nods and pokes another robot. "You right. Humans are fucked up like that." "Facts," Xiuying agrees. Eric pulls out his map/event list and casually asks, "What''s the name of yourpany again? I don''t want us to miss their big moment." Xiuying bonks him on the head. "Good try, dude. But I''m still not telling you. You''ll find out when I get called onstage, and not a moment sooner." Eric pouts and rubs his head. "Damnit, sis, you''ve worked for this startup ever since you graduated two years ago, and yet you still refuse to tell me the name of thepany. You know that''s sketchy as hell, right?" Xiuying grins and skips ahead like a carefree kid. Sometimes Eric finds it hard to believe she''s really four years older. Of course, at other times, when she gets in full-on Mothering Mode, he finds it hard to believe she''s only four years older. He speeds up, caught up in her pace, as usual. "You know it''s only partially the NDA, right?" she says in a teasing voice. "I know I could trust you to keep the secret. But admit it; you only care this much because I won''t tell you. You''d probably forget where I worked if you actually knew." "I would not!" he denies hotly. Xiuying gives him a skeptical look, and he frowns. "Just because I forgot the name of your university ONE TME..." he mutters. "You''d visited me on campus like ten times!" "So I knew the name of yourb building! That''s where we always met up. That should count, right?" Xiuying bonks him again. Even though he always knows it''sing, he can never seem to avoid the damn head bonks. "It definitely doesn''t," she replies, but then her voice softens. "But it''s all good anyway. You have your hands and head full with that team of yours. Even if I don''t think they''re good enough for my baby brother and his prodigious talent." Eric can''t help but smirk and look stupidly proud of himself for a second, but then he shakes it off and makes his face all scowly and stern. "Hush, woman," he admonishes. "You know I love Digital Discord, and they got my back, same as I have theirs." Xiuying nces down at his agile hands, where he''s fiddling with a small button-covered device he invented to work on improving hand speed even on his (very few) days off from gaming. She scoffs, "Tch. You work twice as hard as everyone else and carry that team on your back. That''s not the same thing." "Yeah yeah," Eric says, rolling his eyes. He''s heard this before. He chooses to change the subject before his sister can really get going. "Can you at least give me a hint as to what yourpany is unveiling today? It must be pretty big, if you still haven''t presented yet. The after-dinner slots are always the biggest reveals, and the event sheet doesn''t even have minimal descriptions." "It''s to add to the mystery and excitement," Xiuying exins. "The scientists themselves may be too wrapped up in their own work to be good at marketing and presentation, but the event organizers worked closely with thepanies'' public rtions departments to help increase hype." "Is that also why you''re being called up to present for yourpany?" Eric asks. "Because you''re one of those rareputer programmers who also knows how to talk Human?" Xiuying flips her long brown hair and throws a cutesy handsign popr among Asian teens. "I fake it well." "Ugh," Eric grunts. "Gross. Never do that again." His sister''s smile sours, and she spin-kicks Eric in his skinny ass. She''s pleased by how well her mint green skirt res out as she twirls, and she makes a mental note to drop a line of praise to Arachne. Her friend had already requested a check-inter this week anyway, curious to hear how Eric handles the news of Xiuying''s big secret. If Xiuying can record him squee-ing like a tween fangirl, Arachne''s buying the bottomless mimosas next time they meet up for brunch. While Eric gripes about his sister''s unnecessary violence, Xiuying reaches up to feel the edges of the ID badge hidden under her shirt, and grins in gleeful anticipation. It''s been a bitch-and-a-half keeping this secret for so long. She''s ready to bring her brother into the loop. The rest of the afternoon passes uneventfully, unless you count an impromptu debate popping up during a Teleportation panel that devolves into a food fight when the panelists start throwing the donut holes and grapes set out as snacks for the presenters. It ends quickly, though, when one particle physicist busts out a lightsaber and Security intervenes. Finally, it''s time for the Main Events of the World Tech Expo, and the crowds start milling around near the Main Stage outdoor amphitheater. Xiuying''spany isn''t up for another couple hours, so she sticks with Eric, maneuvering them close enough to the front she should be able to record his reactions even when she''s onstage. They find an open spot next to the staircase that leads backstage. An invisible force barrier blocks the stairs from anyone without an authorized ID, so there are no security guards around yet. Suddenly, about half of the festival lights go out at once, and triumphant music res. Eric immediately stands closer to Xiuying and lowers into a defensive stance. Xiuying almost dies from how cute that is. "Chix, baby bro. Look up." "Huh?" he asks, confusion lining his face as he lifts his head. And then the first bright bursts of fireworks light up the Seattle sky, and his mouth splits into a wide smile. "All about that hype," she says, grinning as well. And then her grin is fading, because something dark zooms overhead that, for a moment, blocks out her view of the fireworks disy. Anyone else might have mistaken it for a simple hoverdrone or maybe an unlicensed flying car, but Xiuying is not just anyone. She''s seen that pitch-ck design before. She helped program it. "ERIC, DOWN!" she screams, but it''s toote. The first explosive drops onto the far side of the stage, away from them, but a piece of metal shrapnel hurtles through the air, straight through her brother''s upper arm. Xiuying can''t even hear the sound of the explosion or the screams from the thousands of innocent lives about to be destroyed. All she can hear is the small, surprised cry from her brother. All she can see is the confusion morphing into shock morphing into horror on her brother''s precious pale face, lit up by the mes behind her. All she can feel is rage, as the first bloody streak drips down her brother''s arm and the first warm tear slides down her brother''s face. When he starts convulsing from shock, she spurs into action. She knows all too well this first explosion is only the beginning. No way they can escape through this panicking crowd. The only way to keep her brother safe is to make a mad gamble, Lunatic Lieu-style. "Come with me. NOW." She grabs his unhurt arm and drags him up the stairs, fumbling under her shirt for her ID. She practically rips it from its flimsynyard and swipes it to enter. As they rush backstage, another explosion, this time from the center of the crowd behind them, rocks the siblings to the ground and sends her badge flying. "Come on, Eric, get up, we have to keep moving," she urges him. "Xiuying, my arm, I can''t" Eric cries, voice broken, as he struggles to push himself up. Dread fills the pit of Xiuying''s stomach, but she doesn''t have time to dwell on the implications of her brother''s lifeless limb. Tamping down on her terror, she hauls Eric to his feet and pulls them both through a side door she''d seen earlier this week during the presentation run-throughs. There it is. Right where she''d hoped. The fake Iron Man prototype. "Let''s go, baby brother. We don''t have much time." Luckily, he''s stillpletely out of it in shock, so she''s able to coax him up the stepdder and push him into the suit before he notices she''s not mbering in after him. It''s not as roomy inside as it looks from the outside. "Get your ass in here!" he half-pleads, half-demands, once he''s snapped out of it enough to realize what she''s done. "No can do," she lightly shakes her head. Another booming explosion hits the stage and knocks her off the loading tform. Shends, hard, on the metal floor. ck smoke licked by orange me billows into the room. There''s nowhere left to run. She smiles up at her brother anyway, even though her pale gray eyes are tight with fear. "Gods damnit," he gasps. He knows it''ll be too difficult to pull himself out of the suit, not to mention impossible for him to lift his sister to put her inside. Especially with her fighting him, which she absolutely will, because she is a fucking stubborn woman, and when they survive this, he is so going to kick her fucking ass. "FUUUCK." Angrily, he swipes away the tears threatening to blur his vision, and stares at the controls at his hands. Hand. "Don''t you dare give up," he warns his sister. "I''m going to figure out how this metal bastard works, and then I''m going to haul your ass out of here, understand?" Her smile deepens and she pushes herself up to give him a jaunty two-finger salute. "Aye aye, Brother Man." More explosions rock the night, punctuating the constant screams. Eric forces himself to shut it all out and focus on the unfamiliar controls and buttons all around him. "Come one one on," he mutters to himself, as his fingers fly across the control panel, tryingbinations of inputs. When one of the Iron Man''s arms move and she hears her brother''s muffled, broken cheer, Xiuying''s heart squeezes. She''s always been proud of her genius kid brother, and this moment is no different. He''s going to change the world, one day. "I love you, baby brother," she whispers. "XIUYING!" Eric yells, and then the next stes, flinging his sister back into his metal torso with a sickening crunch. It''s not the metal body that''s broken, though. Moving half on conscious thought and half on instinct, Eric maneuvers the one suited arm he can operate to gently catch her body, then makes the fake Iron Man suit crouch down and cover his precious sister. "I love you, too," he whispers. And then the final bomb falls directly on top of him, and everything is drowned in fire, and metal, and blood. Chapter 66: Deal with the Devil Chapter 66: Deal with the Devil || Present Day, Vir-Tech Seattle Satellite Campus || "Your sister, of course. I''m here about Lieu Xiuying." The Vir-Tech woman''s words ring in my ears, and I sit up so quickly my head spins. I immediately start badgering her for details, but it''s to no avail. Long story short, after dropping that bomb, the Vir-Tech woman, who introduces herself as Alice Hou, won''t tell me another damn thing about my sister, or even exin why she even knew I had a sister in the first ce, unless I agree to leave the hospital with her. So now I''m in a helicopter with the sketchy Vir-Tech rep. I''m like 73% positive I''m not being kidnapped? Probably nothing else equally nefarious, either? I can''t help but remember my -1000 Reputation among Vir-Tech employees, but that was almost definitely for sure a joke. I think. At any rate, for reasons I can''t begin to imagine, we''re flying across the Puget Sound to Vir-Tech''s satellite campus. Ms. Hou remains silent, socking distraction, I''m left staring, unseeing, out the window, inundated by an onught of memories I usually try to repress. I spend most of the flight clutching my right arm, choking on the charred taste of smoke and the metallic tang of blood, and hearing the same crunch of bone on metal reverberate through my skull, over and over. So, you know, awesome first helicopter ride. 10/10 would absolutely rmend to anyone in need of a mental breakdown hundreds of meters above the ground. (Yay.) I ride the waves of memory and focus on my breathing, until eventually, I''m calm enough to redirect my thoughts. Itch onto memories from my first official day in Viren''s Refuge, and it helps. Erebus, being of darkness, doesn''t sumb to panic. He defeats dragons and flirts with goddesses and saves the people he cares about. Erebus isn''t broken. I can pretend I''m not, either. --- By the time we make it to Vir-Tech, and Ms. Hou deigns to speak again, I''m at least capable of seeing what''s in front of me, and I can push the shadows of my past back to the dusty corners of my mind where they usually lurk. This is thepany''s only campus in the US, but still, it''srger than I''d imagined, nearly the size of Microsoft. It''s not technically in Seattle proper, since Vir-Tech''s campus is on Bainbridge Ind, off the coast of downtown. The unique Seattle skyline,plete with the towering Space Needle, is visible from the southeast side of the ind. As we fly over the 300 acres (125 hectares) of Vir-Tech property, the repdy exins that much of the area used to be a military fort. When the One World Federation ordered the closure and re-purposing of all national military bases and forts, Zhao Jianyu managed to buy this primond off the US government for super cheap. You''d never know it used to be a 19th century military base from the looks of it now. All the current buildings are sleek, ultra-modern, and creatively designed to be eco-friendly. Many also disy sprawling, colorful murals: I recognize quotes from fantasy and sci-fi novels, scenes from mythology, andndscapes from some of my favorite video games. The helicopter touches down on anding pad on the roof of one of the tallest buildings, and when I disembark, I''m pleased to note I''m not shaking anymore. I mentally steel myself to get some answers, and soon. My pocket vibrates, and I pull out Theo''s phone. He''d been standing guard outside my hospital door, probably to keep me from doing something exactly like this. Luckily, Deion had been out with Robbie getting food; Theo''s more levelheaded, so I managed to convince him it was important for me to go with the Vir-Tech woman. Theo did force me to take his phone, since mine was still back in my apartment. As I step away from the helicopter, I open a series of outraged texts from Deion, followed by a message from Theo, sent after he confiscated his husband''s phone: --- Baby Dad-Dei : Ignore him. Just tell me you''ve arrived okay Me: Safe and sound @ Vir-Tech, no worries Baby Dad-Dei : Good. I''ll drag Mr. Overprotective home. Stay safe, and check in every 30 minutes or I''m sending Dei after you Me: As a thank you for your valiant efforts, I will pretend I never saw the contact name you have Deion saved under Baby Dad-Dei : Now it''s a check-in text every 10 minutes, or I''ll be sending Dei AND Pix to haul your cheeky ass back to the hospital Me: Let''s say 20 min Me: *sends image from Picture Roll of Deion and Theo, sitting in their jacuzzi tub with beerhats on and foam bubble beards, watching Sailor Moon* Baby Dad-Dei :. .. 20 seems reasonable --- With a satisfied smirk, I slide the phone back into my pocket and follow the Vir-Tech rep through a rooftop door. It turns out to be arge elevator. I recognize the music streaming through the speakers; it''s aposition from Viren''s Refuge, I think maybe a map in Realm 3. For some reason, this detail really hits home that I''m standing inside a Vir-Tech building. What a weird fucking day. Exhaustion hits me again, and I no longer have patience to wait out Alice Hou. Scowling, I gruffly remind her of her promise, "All right. I''m here. Start talking. What do you know about Xiuying?" Instead of answering, she asks me a question in turn: "What do you know about the World Tech Massacre?" I''m not sure where she''s going with this, and I don''t have the mental energy to try to figure it out. So I just answer: "Anti-tech terrorists flew advanced drones to nket bomb the World Tech Expo. Said using tech to do it was proof that technology was dangerous." As if they actually gave a shit about that. Fucking hypocrites. They were nothing more than cowards who didn''t want to see the faces of the lives they were destroying. "Multiple countries who still remain out of the Federation''s grasp imed responsibility," I continue, regurgitating facts everyone in the world knows. "No one knows if it was really a Separatist Coalition coordinated attack, or if it was perpetrated by one country, and the rest of the countries jumped on the bandwagon to make themselves look more dangerous or what the fuck ever." Ms. Hou nods once. "Correct." My light gray eyes narrow, but I don''t let anything else show on my face. She''s lying. I don''t know how or why; everything I just said was supposed to bemon knowledge. Nevertheless. For some reason, Alice Hou believes the official report is wrong. Or perhaps missing key information. There''s so much about that horrible evening I''ve never understood, so many questions left unanswered. For example, I never learned what start-up Xiuying was working for. There were too many start-ups on the presentation schedule, and the full list ofpanies who were ted to present at the Expo has never been disclosed. Ostensibly, this was to keep reprisals to a minimum; authorities worriedpanies on the list may be further targeted by terrorists. But even with so much uncertainty surrounding that night, never have I doubted the idea that anti-tech terrorists were responsible. Have I been wrong all along? There''s a light *ding!* and the elevator doors silently open. Mind racing, I barely pay attention as I follow Ms. Hou into a brightly-lit hallway. The walls are painted a calm, pale blue, and the white doors haverge letters and numbers painted on them in a cheery yellow. Moving on autopilot, I happen to nce through the window of one of the doors. It''s the only window not tinted opaque. ''Huh, looks like a hospital room,'' I think absently before my eyes continue on down the hall. Then my brain catches up, and I freeze. Wait. What. I do a double-take through the window of Room IC-8, the most high-tech medical space I''ve ever seen. Ms. Hou realizes I''ve stopped moving, and when she sees my open-mouthed wonder, smiles that same confident smile she''d had earlier. "What is this?" I ask, dumbfounded. Since when has Vir-Tech expanded into the medical field? "Care to see?" she offers, reaching out with a perfectly-manicured hand to swipe an ID card. With a whoosh, the door automatically slides open. She leads me inside and exins the purpose of a few shiny medical instruments. The technology is years ahead of anything I''d known to be possible. One device she demonstrates on herself disys an automatic 3-D holographic view of her internal organs, bones, and veins/arteries. It has multiple settings, so it can show bones only, muscture only, veins/arteries or nerves only, or zoom in on certain areas or organs at a time. Or anybination thereof. It''s not just the next step past x-ray technology. It''s more like twenty giant leaps ahead. "And this, of course," she says, gesturing to thergest contraption in the room, and the one my eyes keep being drawn to, "you probably recognize." "It''s a V-Haven," I reply, intrigued. "Or, at least, it has several of theponent parts." It''s not exactly like the silver pod; there''s no lid, for one. It''s more a bed, but the "mattress" is made of the same blue glowing gel as the V-Havens. Her smile deepens. "Mr. Lieu, allow me to present thetest in cutting-edge medical technology: the Med-Haven. This Intensive Care bed boasts the auto-cleansing stasis gel of the V-Havens, but with added pain-relieving capabilities, as well as the nanocytes capable of activating and massaging muscle tissue to keep patients from atrophying or acquiring bed sores. Plus, the technology that keeps track of the vitals of yers inside Viren''s Refuge works here to track vitals of patients more urately than any other medical equipment on the market." The implications are astronomical. I listen, rapt, as she further exins how the Med-Havens are equipped to handle a multitude of medical needs and how they can increase recovery speed, as well as increase likelihood of survival duringplicated surgeries. My mind is officially blown. "Zhao Jianyu has greater ns for this world than creating a virtual utopia," Alice Hou tells me. And I''d always known that, he admitted as much in every interview and even in the Coliseum the final day of the beta, but I''d never truly understood what he meant. I realize now I still have no true idea the scope of Zhao Jianyu''s ambition. "What is this building, exactly?" I ask. "The upper floors are dedicated to medical research, but the lowest five floors are a fully-functioning medical facility. This wing is ultra special, however. This Intensive Care Unit only has twelve fully set-up rooms, for now. Only these rooms are equipped with every piece of cutting-edge medical equipment Vir-Tech has developed." Ms. Hou walks me the rest of the way down the hall. She briefly exins how this facility isrgely funded by Federation grants, but they''ve used most of the funds developing and building the tech. They''re waiting for revenue generated by Viren''s Refuge toplete the next phase of medical research. Apparently, the medical facility at the main Vir-Tech campus in China is three times the size of this one, and most of the proprietary equipment is housed there. I can''t help but ask, "And Zhao Jianyu''s still determined not to use corporate sponsorships to expand sooner? The world could really use this technology now." Ms. Hou''s brow furrows, and her smile bes forced. "No one ever understands," she says quietly, and I think she''s really talking to herself. It''s the first time she''s seemed human all afternoon. She takes a deep breath and turns to me. The professional mask is back, perfectly in ce. "These medical facilities are entirely free for all patients. And Zhao Jianyu wants all our medical tech and research to be avable in every hospital on the globe, also entirely for free. Forget making a profit; Zhao Jianyu isn''t even trying to break even on this venture. The only corporations who would be interested in investing in Vir-Tech''s medical research are the same organizations that mized the medical field in the first ce. We can''t let them get anywhere near us." As much as I hate to say it, I see her point. And once again, I''m awed by the immensity of Zhao Jianyu''s creative scope, as well as the fucking insanity that is his idealistic worldview. Ms. Hou continues, "Currently, no one takes Vir-Tech seriously in any field but virtual reality. Once we are capable of producing more medical hardware and can further our research, however, our data will speak for itself more clearly than any doubters'' ims. At that point, we''re hoping the Federation will ssify Vir-Tech''s medical research department as a ss 1 Organization: Vital to Humanity. We would then have more than enough funding and ess to truly make Zhao Jianyu''s medical dreams a reality." The Vir-Tech rep then reminds me, thoroughly, of thetest Vir-Tech-rted NDA I signed in the helicopter on the way here. She impresses upon me the severity of the devastating consequences should any hint of Vir-Tech''s medical research reach the wrong ears. "Think of the other reason we don''t want to let any other corporation know of our medical exploits: all the tech in this building makes most major medical equipment obsolete. And not by a small margin. Add to that we want to offer our superior models for free; no hospital would have further need of most of their equipment contracts. Sabotage is a very real possibility." The severity of her tone sends a jolt of fear through me, and in the back of my mind, I hear explosions filling the night air, and screams. So many screams. Something in her eyes tells me she knows the connection I''ve just made. Slowly, she nods. My heart stops. "Vir-Tech was on the presentation schedule for the World Expo," she says. My head feels light, and I have to lean against the reception desk where we''re currently standing. "We weren''t listed publicly as presenters," she continues, "so it''s unlikely we were specifically targeted. But still, 23 of our employees were casualties, including two of our head researchers. Our progress slowed to a crawl in the aftermath of that terrorist attack. We can''t afford another blow like that one, especially if we''re truly targeted next time. Vir-Tech would be finished." I feel sick even thinking about the possibility, and I clutch my stomach, as if that will keep the nausea at bay. But one question is even more pressing in my mind. "What does any of this have to do with my sister? Did she work--" "It''s you, actually, who matters to us right now, Mr. Lieu," she interrupts, shaking her head. "You''re an integral part of our research process. We want to study the effects of the S-grade nutrient solution, as well as the possibility of SIINO. Moreover, you alone, out of thousands of V-Haven users, have a 100%patibility rating with the V-Haven. We obviously researched you more thoroughly after the Nova program chose you to test the S-grade solution. When we learned of your sister''s situation, we asked her current doctors to run a simple diagnostic for us. It appears Xiuying also has the markers that mean she might have a 100%patibility rating. Plus, her condition is exactly the sort of medical circumstance this Intensive Care Unit was designed for." Breath is no longer getting into my lungs, and it feels like a wed hand is squeezing my heart inside my chest. "You can''t mean what I think you''re saying," I choke out. Ms. Hou pulls out a consent form her briefcase. "You are Lieu Xiuying''s next of kin. You are in charge of her care. If you consent to us taking over her treatment, we will have her transferred to this facility immediately. She will reside in the only remaining ICU room, and be one of only 50 total patients worldwide to have full ess to every major advance Vir-Tech has made in the medical field. Under our careful watch, who knows how well she might recover?" Hand trembling, I reach for the form. She moves it slightly back. "But." The word is a p to my senses. Shocked, I freeze. "You must also consent to let us study you as well, Mr. Lieu. Let us help you deal with the negative effects of the nutrient solutions and let us try to understand what makes your brain so easily able to ess all that virtual reality and the V-Havens have to offer." "Are you saying you''ll only help my sister if I agree to be your guinea pig?" My voice is hoarse with incredulous rage. Ms. Hou''s grip on the paper tightens, and though she remains silent, her expression tells me everything. The fuckers are holding the possibility of Xiuying''s miracle recovery over me, hoping I''ll y along. And they''re right to hope. Of course they are. Hand steady now, I reach out and yank the paper from Ms. Hou''s slender hands. "Fuck you," I say, clearly and with as much disgust as I can muster. "Now give me a fucking pen." Chapter 67: Sibling Check-In Chapter 67: Sibling Check-In Once I sign the consent forms, things move quickly. It appears Vir-Tech had Xiuying''s transfer lined up in advance at the other hospital, since it takes them almost no time to verify the paperwork on that end and wheel Xiuying into an already-waiting helicopter. Gee, almost like Vir-Tech knew I''d be willing to do anything for her. The fuckers. Alice Hou tries to convince me to sit for my first round of tests while we wait for Xiuying to arrive. I cut her off as savagely as possible and make it clear I won''t be sitting for shit until I see Xiuying set up in her new medical digs, and a doctor exins every damn detail of how they''re nning to help my sister. Then I stalk off back to Room 8 to wait. A tiny superstitious part of me is stupidly d this was the only avable room in the ICU, since eight is a lucky number, at least ording to Chinese tradition. My sister deserves all the good luck she can get. While I''m waiting, I snoop through every drawer and cab in the hospital room, steal a pair of rubber gloves, then stick a wooden tongue depressor in my mouth and say "Ahhhhhhh." Then I touch a button on the Med-Haven, and it starts beeping really loudly like someone''s going into cardiac arrest, so I frantically mash it again until the sound stops. I decide maybe it''s best if I take a seat until my sister arrives. Impressed as always by how ufortable visitor chairs are, even in a hospital as swanky as this, I take the time to check in with my endearingly worrywart neighbors. Thankfully, Theo still has Deion''s phone. --- Me: Prompt and hearty check-in, as requested Me: *image of me with blue doctor gloves on, hands pressed against my cheeks, hair purposefully mussed, doing my best Hot Asian Model pouty lips kissy-face impression* Baby Dad-Dei : My eyesss! some cursed sights can never be unseen Baby Dad-Dei : Dei says you look hot, tho (_) Me: Don''t be jealous, now. Our boy D''s got a thing for mixed men. You know this Baby Dad-Dei : True Baby Dad-Dei : *image of shirtless Theo, with Deion''s much darker arms wrapped tight around his light brown chest* Me: You''re a fucking math teacher, Theo. wtf with those abs and pecs?! Baby Dad-Dei : Don''t be jealous, now. Me: I''m literally an MMA fighter and I have half that amount of ab, what the actual fuck bro Baby Dad-Dei : Sounds like it''s time to visit your old buddy Ken Me: You should have left to me to die on the floor --- The whoosh as the door slides open draws my attention, and I slide Theo''s phone back into my pocket as two nurses wheel a gurney into the room. Xiuying. She looks the same. She always does. It feels wrong that two-and-a-half years can pass and yet Xiuying has nothing to show for it. Every time I visit her, there''s always a moment, the first time Iy eyes on her still form, that I can''t help but think it''s all a lie. My sister can''t be in aa. She looks no different from when she''s sleeping, no different from the beautiful, vibrant, oh-so-alive person she was two years ago. They were able to fix almost everything that broke when my sister collided with me. It''s hard to believe someone so very strong could also be so terribly fragile. (That''s something else I like about video games. No stupid human frailty holding you back. Build your strength enough, you be nigh invincible.) Her mind, though. They couldn''t put that together again. Not the way it was, not whole and free of cracks and scars. Xiuying had had one of the most brilliant brains in the world, but now the doctors can''t figure out how to turn the switch back on to let that brilliance once again light up the world. My life''s been haunted by shadow ever since. --- I stand, wanting to help, to do something right this time to make up for the time I did exactly nothing right and ruined my sister''s life. But of course I end up in the way, so I quickly return to my seat and watch, useless as ever, as the nurses lift Xiuying from the gurney and gentlyy her on the faintly glowing blue gel mattress of the Med-Haven. A doctores in, then, and he looks a lot like Deion, which worries me for a second because Deion''s a dumbass, but then he starts talking and he uses about a thousand words I don''t know, and even though I''m lost and confused and frustrated, I''m also relieved because a neurosurgeon *should* know a ton of words and things I don''t know. He seems to recognize the zed look in my eyes and takes pity on my barely-graduated-high school-brain. "Let me start over," he says, motioning for the nurses to leave and reaching out a hand to me. "I''m Dr. Shawn Giles." "Eric," I reply, and shake his hand. It''s super soft and smells like beeswax. I don''t know why my brain thinks this is important information. "Eric Lieu. Xiuying''s brother." "Eric, I''ve gone through your sister''s medical history, and though I don''t have a miracle remedy for your sister''s condition, I do believe our facilities are the best possible ce for her to be right now." I nod, though my heart''s sinking because not even Vir-Tech seems capable of making my sister whole again. Dr. Giles demonstrates some of the capabilities of the Med-Haven, and I force myself to pay attention. Using a holo-tablet, he types in amand, and with a hiss, a transparent "lid" closes over Xiuying. The holo x-ray device Alice Hou had shown me earlier is then hooked up to the Med-Haven, and suddenly, the entirety of Xiuying''s internal structure is disyed on the clear lid above her. My initial reaction is to look away because ew, gross, she''s my sister, I don''t want to see her innards all exposed like that. Plus, one time I identally walked into the bathroom while she was getting out of the shower, and Xiuying pelted me with a shampoo bottle, a handful of tampons, and a pair of fake eyshes that I thought were giant spiders. Pretty sure I screamed even more than she did, but in my defense, the eyshes had this adhesive shit on them and I kept pping at them to get off, but they were stuck, and I thought it was like extra-strength mutant spider silk or something, and it was horrifying. It urs to me it''s less weird to see her bones and veinsid bare like this than her bare skin, and it further urs to me that humans have really weird hang-ups. Anyway, Dr. Giles seems unaware of my personal torment, and he enters anothermand into his tablet device that zooms therge disy to highlight Xiuying''s skull. "Should it be all lit up like that?" I ask, concerned. "Yes, this is a good sign. Your sister isn''t brain dead. Her brain is still quite active." I look through the clear lid down to her motionless body. "Then why hasn''t she woken up?" "Patients in aa are not truly asleep, so they cannot be woken by external stimuli. We still don''t understand everything about the brain, though we''vee much further with our research into immersive deep-dive virtual reality technology." He highlights a section of her brain, in the middle of the brain stem. "This is the pons region of the brain. Your sister''s pons was damaged in the collision." He marks a tiny section in red. "This is where a tiny piece of skull lodged itself into the brain tissue of her pons. Surgeons were able to take it out, but as you can see, it hasn''t healed. Brain tissue rarely does." "I''ve heard this before," I say, tiredly. "So you''re saying the same as the rest. You can''t fix this." Dr. Giles clears his throat, and his voice is kind as he shakes his head. "Actually, I think maybe we can." I make a strangled sound and involuntarily move closer to the Med-Haven. "Vir-Tech researchers know more about the pons than possibly any other scientists in the world. You see, the pons is involved in the control of sleep cycles and inhibits movement during sleep. For obvious reasons, we at Vir-Tech were very interested in this ability, so we invested years of research into this part of the brain." That makes sense, and it makes a vicious little bubble of hope rise in my chest before I can safely quash it. "Honestly, your sister is a special case. At times, her previous doctors thought she might be experiencing something akin to Locked-In Syndrome." "What''s that? It sounds bad." I frown and clench my jaw. "They never mentioned this to me." "Probably because they had no more than fleeting observations, so nothing worth telling. True LIS is a rare neurological disorder where a person has full cognitive function and awareness but is fully paralyzed, able only to move their eyes and hear." Horrified, I stare even more intensely at my sister. "Rest assured, your sister does not have true LIS," Dr. Giles tells me. "She spends most of her time in aatose state." Tch. Somehow, I am not "assured" by that. The doctor has the grace to look apologetic about that particr word choice. "Now that we have her in the Med-Haven, we can constantly monitor her brain activity. That simply isn''t possible without the Med-Haven technology, so her previous doctors had no ability to do so. They did send her for MRIs and CT scans frequently, but every time they thought she might be experiencing cognitive awareness, by the time she took the tests, they were negative. We can actually discover for sure now whether she is, inyman''s terms, ''waking up'' intermittently. And all of our top medical researchers are dedicated to studying her pons and the rest of her brain activity, to see if anything we''ve discovered or researched might be helpful." I really don''t want to get my hopes up, but I want nothing in the world more than my sister''s recovery, so I can''t help it. Her eyelids twitch, which I learned long ago isn''t anything to be excited about, but I can''t help the rush of adrenaline that spikes when I imagine her opening her eyes and waking up and yelling at me for not eating enough. Dr. Giles exins a few more details of his intended treatment, then he opens the Med-Haven back up and leaves me alone with Xiuying. I scoot the gods-awful chair to her bed and take her hand. "So," I say. "Hey." Hot damn. Look at that godly Charisma right there. Laughing at myself, I maybe choke a little as my throat tightens and I push back all tears and sadness. I know Xiuying can hear me, and she''d kick my ass for crying at her bedside when she wakes up; it''s exactly why I was terrified of Arachne spilling all my embarrassing secrets. Speaking of Arachne, I make a mental note to let her know Xiuying''s been moved and find out how to get Arachne onto the official visitor''s list here. She''s the only person who visits almost as often as I do. Then I realize I''ll have to call my parents, too, and I groan. They dutifully show up once a month, like clockwork. I wonder how they''ll handle the news that Xiuying''s now being treated by a video gamepany. The thought officially cracks me up, and I lean my head on the bed by Xiuying, gripping her hand tight andughing like a maniac. When I finally calm down, I take a deep breath andunch into a blow-by-blow ount of my first official day in Viren''s Refuge. One day, I swear, she''ll have her own first day in this game of dreams. And it will be the Most Fucking Awesome Moment of them all. Chapter 68: Poked and Prodded and Royally Pissed Chapter 68: Poked and Prodded and Royally Pissed Only after I have exhausted every possible topic of conversation with Xiuying and checked in with Theo another three times, do I finally let Ms. Hou and Dr. Giles drag me downstairs to the in-houseb. They run a battery of tests, but other than a tiny prick for blood work, everything is thankfully non-invasive. At one point, they actually have me get into a Med-Haven of my own, and project my insides onto the transparent lid above me. I try to look everywhere except my right arm. My gray eyes flicker around my guts and muscture for about a tenth of a second, and then inevitably, as if pulled by a gravitational force, they stop,ser-focused on the tiny highlighted portion of my right upper arm. The muscle scarring is a thin, twisted white line, but the nerve damage is hardly more than a speck of shadow. My throat tightens, and the light beeps of the Med-Haven''s heart monitor pick up speed. I don''t know if it''s because I''m staring at the physical embodiment of my failure to protect anything that mattered to memy sister, my careeror if it''s because I can''t help but think back to the shadows permeating Xiuying''s brain scan. Before I can spiral too far down the angsty rabbit hole, however, Dr. Giles switches my scans to zoom in on my own brain. I close my eyes and take deep, calming breaths while I let the neurosurgeon do his thing. And keep doing his thing, long after I''ve gotten myself under control. Dr. Giles spends so long staring at my scans, in fact, I start to feel a little vited. Also sleepy. At one point, he ditches his holo-tablet and puts on a pair of interactive gloves, that he uses to "handle" my 3-D brain and zoom in on various regions. When he starts making sounds, a cacophony of "Mmm"s and "Aha"s and "Ohhh"s, I can''t take it any more. "All right, doc. Either you tell me what the hell you''re looking for, or I''m out of here. I''m literally watching you fondle my brains, and it''s freaky as fuck." Dr. Giles starts, as if he''d forgotten I was actually there under all that gray matter. "Excuse me, sorry, Eric." He sounds a bit sheepish, but I notice he doesn''t relinquish his hold on my holo-brain. "I''m looking for evidence of SIINO. Somnolent Immersion-Induced" "Neural Overload. Yeah, I know," I confidently tell him. Honestly, I had totally forgotten what the first part stood for. I''m just sick of being the only person around who doesn''t know what the fuck''s going on. And ''Neural Overload'' is the kind of phrase that sticks with a person. "Correct," he says, impressed, and I smirk, way too pleased with myself, considering. "It''s nearly impossible to be certain if that''s what you experienced this afternoon, since enough time has passed your neurotransmitter levels have returned to normal. But there is evidence to suggest your neural pathways are distinct from average brains, which may ount for your increasedpatibility with V-Haven technology." I nod. "Sure, makes sense." I have no idea what that means. And when I let Dr. Giles nerd out for the next fifteen minutes, I have no idea what most of his points mean. It''s endearing how excited he gets, though. One thing I do understand is the doctor''s exnation of "One-Time Learning." Usually, to learn something new, our brains require repeated exposure to the activity. Some things, however, we only need to experience once. The best example of this is hot things = ow it burns. When you''re a kid, your parents may warn you, "Don''t touch that; it''s hot!" a thousand times, and you never learn. But the one time you touch something too hot, and you burn yourself, your brain is immediately seared with that information, and you never forget again. Apparently, the state of heightened awareness I''ve been calling "The Zone" is another example. (Side note: Dr. Giles had never heard of the Zone, so I showed him a clip from a ssic sports anime, and he lost his shit, and I''m pretty sure I''ve officially converted yet another soul into Sports Anime Trash. *Bows*) Dr. Giles tells me the reason I went through all four bottles of A-grade solution was because once I''d identally discovered the Zone the first time, my brain learned the feeling without any conscious effort on my part. After that, it only became easier and easier for my brain to slip into that heightened state when I needed it, until eventually, it became second nature for me to use the Zone any time I encountered a new challenge. He also exined that he looked through my Nutri-Peak solution records from the beta, and he''s pretty sure I was on the cusp of entering the Zone multiple times, especially near the end, which is why I started going through solution faster. But since I was using shittier-grade solution, there weren''t enough neurostimnts to actually allow me to enter the Zone. Ms. Hou speaks up at this point. She''d been quiet for so long I''d forgotten she was here. "Learned behaviors are difficult to control. It''s likely that if we switched you back to A-grade solution, you''d continue to fly through the bottles and overload yourself so much the V-Haven would put you to sleep, like it did during your time in Foundation Vige." "So the S-grade solution is what kept me from passing out the rest of the day?" I ask. "Exactly. Which is likely why the Nova Protocol was initiated," the doctor replies absently, then immediately freezes, like he hadn''t meant to say that. I ask a series of questions I don''t expect them to answer, like "What''s a Nova Protocol?" and "Who actually authorized my upgrade to S-grade solution?" and "How many guinea pigs do you have testing this secret form?" Then when I see the same look in Alice Hou''s eyes I''d seen thest time she lied about the terrorist attacks at the World Expo, I cut her off. "If you''re about to spout some Royal S-Grade Bullshit, I''d really rather you just didn''t, and I''ll pretend you did and it was very convincing." Blinking rapidly, she opens and closes her mouth a few times, then purses her lips and bites the inside of her cheek. Finally, she nods. "Fine." "Fine," I agree. "Ahem," Dr. Giles clears his throat awkwardly. "The main question, as I see it, is do you wish to continue with the S-grade solution while we work to fix it so you can experience the game without symptoms of SIINO? Or would you prefer returning to the A-grade?" Seems like a dumb question to me. First, if A-grade is going to knock me unconscious every time I push too hard, it''s not like that''s better than the neural overload from S-grade. Second, fuck if I want to limit myself now that I know what''s possible. Not how Lunatic Lieu rolls. A man''s gotta stay on brand, you know? And third, something in their silence makes me think I might be the only person using the S-grade stuff. Or at least, one of very few. If they''re ever going to figure out what''s causing SIINO and have a hope at fixing it, they probably need me to keep using it for data points. I give them my answer, and neither of them can hide the relief from their expressions. Guess I was right about Point #3. "If it ever starts to look like you''re in real danger, we''ll immediately change our ns," Alice Hou says firmly. "But I want to thank you on behalf of Vir-Tech and Zhao Jianyu''s dream of a more perfect world." I frown, a little freaked out by that overblown gratitude. Ms. Hou sighs. "You aren''t stupid, Mr. Lieu," she says, and normally I''d agree, but honestly right now I''m so out of my depth I feel about as intelligent as a rock. And not even a pet rock, either. "You understand, I believe," she continues, "what''s really at stake with Zhao Jianyu''s incredibleand insanegamble." She mutters thatst bit, and I feel better knowing that even Zhao Jianyu''s own employees think the man''s fucking crazy. "Agents from several corporations and a number of Separatist countries have entered the game, against our best efforts to screen them out," she exins. My frown deepens as that sinks in. "You want me to use the S-grade solution because I y at my best with it, and you want to make sure someone not on an evil corporation or government''s payroll wins." It''s not a question. She makes it clear she wouldn''t answer anyway. No liability if they don''te out and say it. It pisses me off, that Vir-Tech so clearly thinks they''re manipting me. Ms. Hou even goes so far as to remind me that Vir-Tech technicians will be visiting tomorrow morning to set up the new features on my V-Haven so I can keep my end of the bargain you know, the one where they''re holding my sister''s health and well-being fucking hostage in return for my cooperation and ry more data while I''m immersed in Viren''s Refuge. The real bullshit here is that I would have agreed to the research, even if they couldn''t help Xiuying. Just like I had agreed to continue using the S-grade solution before they ever said a damn thing about corporate espionage and nefarious yers. "I want you to understand something," I tell her right before I board the helicopter ready to take me home. "I WILL make it to the top of Viren''s Refuge. I WILL win your boss''s mad gamble. And I WILL beat every wannabe yer whoes at me, whether it be a dude gaming in his mama''s basement or a real-life fucking assassin hired by the Separatist Coalition." I stare her in the eyes, dead fucking serious and angrier than I''ve ever been. She flinches. I''m d. "And when I do," I continue in a low voice barely more than a savage growl, "when I stand on top of the virtual world and I''m crowned the Hero of Fucking Ages, I want you to know my sess has absolutely NOTHING to do with you." Chapter 69: Updates and Resets Chapter 69: Updates and Resets | Vir-Tech Labs | When Visby crosses off the seventh item on the {PATCH THESE HOLES} list, he thinks they might really make it on time. When his seventh employee copses, however, Visby reevaluates his previous optimism. Heaving a sigh, he rouses one of his best programmers, Ding Fan, by vigorously shaking his shoulder and saying, "Oy, Ding Fan, wake up." Visby is not known for being particrly gentle, especially when he''s on Day Who''s-Even-Counting-Any-More without sleep. Ding Fan jolts awake and immediately types a line of code out of habit. Visby''s impressed to see the code''s actually viable. He might press for Ding Fan to get a raise at the next performance review. Ding Fan''s thick tortoise-shell sses sit askew on his face, and he''s too exhausted to bother righting them. One cheek is marked with criss-crossing lines from his keyboard, and his eyes are red-rimmed from the spontaneous crying everyone in the department has been experiencing on and off for thest sixteen hours. Visby transitions from shaking his friend into giving him a stiff, awkward pat on his shoulder. From where Stacey''s sitting, it looks how she imagines a robot mimicking human emotions would try to execute themand for "Initiate Comfort Protocols." She wonders if maybe he''s been spending too much timemunicating with the System AI. "Ding Fan, no more code right now," Visby says. Ding Fan blinks up at him, bleary-eyed. "But there''s always more code," he objects, confused. Shaking his head, Visby gestures to the other four programmers passed out on or below their desks, the intern curled up on the floor hugging the copy machine like it''s a body pillow, and the cyber security analyst who somehow fell asleep standing up in the middle of the room. "Right now, I''m going upstairs to tell Boss there''s no way in Dante''s Nine Hells we''re going to be ready to reunch tomorrow. Best we can do is January 3rd, but I''m hoping he''ll let us postpone until the 4th." Ding Fan''s eyes get wide behind his thick frames. "Is that even allowed?" "We have no choice. I''m sending everyone home for the next twelve hours and telling Security not to let anyone back in until that full time has passed." "But why?" Ding Fan asks incredulously. He can''t remember thest time he''d left the office for a full twelve hours. Stacey spins in her office chair and lets out a quiet cheer. "People need sleep, and they need real food that doesn''te from a vending machine, and dear gods they desperately need real showers. Rinsing off in thepany shower stalls is not cutting it. I was actually getting worried the body odor fumes were going to poison us all soon." Visby sniffs the air experimentally. He doesn''t smell anything. Surely Stacey''s exaggerating. Stacey rolls her eyes and mutters, "He who can''t smell it, smells like it," under her breath. Visby can''t hear her, so he simply shrugs and ps to get everyone''s attention. At least she''s right about the rest of it. They need this break, and he''s going to convince Zhao Jianyu to give it to them. Boss should agree. Everyone''s half-dead already. And it won''t hurt that the AI recently mentioned that given a little extra time, it could implement a few ways to thwart the corporate bastards already messing with the game flow. Zhao Jianyu''s always into creative ys like that. (If the AI had also mentioned it had a few ideas to fuck with a particrly annoying chaos-wielding D''Raven, well that''s simply a bonus, isn''t it?) --------- | Eric''s Apartment Building, Seattle | When Ind on the roof of my building around midnight, Theo, Deion, Robbie, and Alopix are all waiting for me. It''s nice. Or, at least, it''s nice right up until Deion half-hugs, half-strangles me and calls me a brainless dumbass, which I tell him is redundant, and then he tells me my face is redundant, and then it only devolves further from there. We might have continued down this spiral of spewing infantile insults forever, if not for Robbie and Theo. "Pops, howe Dad and Uncle Eric are fighting and hugging at the same time?" Robbie asks Theo. "Because they have the rtive intelligences of idiot children who have eaten too much yground sand," Theo replies. "At least Eric can use his brain damage to exin his behavior," he adds. "I''m not brain damaged!" I object loudly. "At least Theo gave you an excuse!" Deion yells back. Theo just gives us his most withering Teacher Stare, and I feel it so deeply in my soul, I''m surprised I don''t spontaneouslybust. "Are you boys quite finished?" he asks quietly. "Yes, Theo," we reply, immediately letting go of each other. Pix looks disappointed. He''s a big fan of group hugs. "Then let''s get the invalid inside," Theo says. "Dinner''s ready." I open my mouth to fight the invalidment, but my stomach lets out a hungry growl so loud, it swallows up my protests. Pix growls as well, in solidarity. Robbie then howls like a wolf, because it''s fun. Deion joins him, because he really is an overgrown child. At times like these, I wonder why Theo bothers teaching high school, when he has his own zoo to look after here at home. Then I see his lips twitch, and his eyes crinkle fondly, and I think maybe he enjoys the chaos. Giving in to the general madness, I throw my back and join the dog-human wolf pack howling at the moon hanging high above Seattle. It feels good. --- After dinner, I''m not quite ready to go back to my apartment, though Theo assures me he cleaned up the blood. All four of us plus Pix pile onto the couch and watch maybe one-and-a-half episodes of Dragon Ball Omega Infinity before we all fall asleep curled up together. When I wake up, I''m feeling more refreshed and ready to take on the world than I have in a long while. Vir-Tech might be shady as shit, but it seems like they really can help my sister. It''s hard not to be excited at the prospect. After breakfast and a run with Deion and Pix, I finally go home. Naturally, the V-Haven technician arrives when I''m in the middle of my shower, so I have to awkwardly answer the door wrapped in a towel with water still dripping down my shoulders. I don''t trust Vir-Tech, but it''s not like I know enough about their technology to be able to tell if they put anything sketchy in my pod. I also kind of doubt they need to do so; I''m essentially working for them at this point, and it''s not like the V-Havens don''t already tell them everything about me. They don''t need to add spyware when the pods give them direct ess to my brain. So I leave the technician to do his thing while I finish cleaning up and get dressed. Then I hop onto myputer and surf the Viren''s Refuge forums for any news. A huge grin breaks out on my face when I see my avatar name stered all across the game sites. People noticed my First Clears, apparently. My grin falters a bit when I realize that the damn Boxers Bro video has a million more hits than any other post about my actual exploits. Sigh. Luckily, no one has made the connection between Erebus, Nightmare Mode Clearer, and Boxers Bro, Hot Pink Trash D''Raven. As I go to close the Boxers Bro tab, something grabs my attention. The original poster''s name. Taliesin. Dark lines cross my face, and I bite down on my jerky harder than necessary. I''m gonna kill that kid. My murderous attitude isn''t helped by the fact that the next dozen posts I see are all about Polemos and his apocalyptic crew. They managed to snag 5 First Clears before they ran out of low-leveled dungeons, the bastards. And since the Four Horsemen are all ying Humans (BORING. Like I didn''t have enough reasons to despise these asshats) they''ve all leveled up to 12, with Polemos at 13. Most people think he must be the highest-level yer in the game. That makes me smirk again. I can''t wait to distribute my Free Attribute points for hitting Level 15. Speaking of, I nce at the time and realize I should be able to log back in soon. Hyped, I stand up to check on the status of my V-Haven. Then an alert banner pops up on the Viren''s Refuge forum site. [SPECIAL ANNOUNCEMENT: ATTENTION ALL VIREN''S REFUGE PLAYERS!] [Due to the high number of patches and upgrades required after the first day of Official y, Viren''s Refuge will be unavable until 20:00 China Standard Time, 4 January. We''re sorry for this inconvenience, but hope this dy demonstrates our dedication to excellence. Thank you for your patience!] When I click on the link provided below the announcement, I see a sample of the patches and upgrades list. My sinking disappointment is quickly overtaken by guilt, as I recognize that perhaps I maaay have had something to do with the need for most of these patches. With a grumble, I shut down my monitor and stalk out to the living room, where the tech is still installing various gizmos in my pod. Guess I no longer need to pester the guy to hurry up. Sighing, I head into what would probably be a spare bedroom in a normal person''s apartment. In this apartment, however, it''s a library/arcade/mini-theater. Only one thing calms me down when I''m frustrated by a game. ying other games. Xiuying is the one-time retro Gga and current retro Arkanoid record-holder. You won''t find her name on any record sites, though. She didn''t do it for the fame. She didn''t do it for the glory. She didn''t even do it for the love of the game. She did it to piss me off. Every time I go into this game room and turn on the giant arcade junker Arkanoid, I have to stare at her unbeatable score and the name she decided to immortalize. We made a deal when we were kids. Top Score bragging rights are all well and good, but what''s the point of winning if you can''t humiliate the loser as well? (Especially when said loser is that most intense of rivalsthe dreaded sibling.) So whoever tops a leader board gets full rights to be a petty dick, if they so choose. And we always so choose. We hacked all the arcade games to increase the characters avable for high score names because that''s exactly the kind of thing you do when you''re over-educated and left home alone too often as children, and you need more letters to reach Peak Petty. For example, Arkanoid currently stares back at me with this screen: THE FOLLOWING ARE THE RECORDS OF THE BRAVEST FIGHTERS OF ARKANOID 1ST 1735820 ERICSUX 2ND 1688960 FUXIU 3RD 1674740 BACK@U 4TH 1672280 BBYBRO 5TH 1599860 STFUSIS (Trantion: Eric Sucks! Fuck You, Xiu. Back at You, Baby Bro. Shut the fuck up, Sis.) Two weeks after I broke the esports APM* world record, I managed to unseat my sister from her ce as a two-game record-holder. I beat her Gga record by 420 points: 1ST 11,844,640 XIUIZEW 2ND 11,844,220 GGBRO That "Xiu iz Ew" was especially sweet since she''d already "Good Game"d me, which among the two of us is always sarcastic and generally means: "Aww you gave it your best shot, good for you. Now I''ll tell you Good Game because it WAS good. For me. Because I won and kicked your ass and you suck bahahah I am the BEST and you are the WORST and life is great." Unfortunately, the World Expo happened before Xiuying ever had a chance to regain her honor. Now my record''s just sitting there, waiting for someone to break it. And I''m just sitting here, broken and incapable of replicating even half that number. I y arcade games for a couple hours, and let myself wallow and be an angsty brat. By the time I go to the kitchen in search of lunch, though, I force myself to get it together. I eat a light meal, take Pix for a jog, then figure I''ve already been a masochist multiple times today, may as well go for broke and hit up the gym while I''m at it. I don''t kill Ken. It almost kills me, holding myself back, but I remember how ripped my damn math teacher neighbor is, and it helps keep me focused. I do buy copious amounts of alcohol on the way home and show up at said neighbor''s door, however. Coping''s important. The next couple days follow a simr pattern of sleeping, eating, and working out, though I fill the rest of my hours with making ns for my return to Viren''s Refuge. I send Taliesin threatening messages to his personal ount, then I include him on the group chat where I detail my n to steal Nightmare Mode First Clears out from under the Four Horsemen Asshats. He adds Kara and Jade to the chat without me having to ask, so I can tell he really does feel bad about the whole Boxers Bro thing. I''m obviously not done milking my anger, but it''s a solid start. I also hear back from Alice Hou, telling me that Arachne''s on the official visitor list. She''ll be joining me on my next visit. My parents apparently wouldn''t sign the NDA, and they''re raising a fuss about me moving Xiuying without warning. For a second, I think maybe they''re worried about their firstborn child, so I call them for the first time since they kicked me out six years ago. Turns out, they''re just upset because the new hospital is even more "out of the way" than the old one, and do I really think they have the spare time to be "traipsing all over the state" to visit their one and only daughter? I wordlessly hang up on them and go to my second MMA ss of the day. Sometimes you just need to punch something, you know? By the time I slide into my V-Haven at 5 a.m. local time, January 4th, I couldn''t be happier about finally returning where I actually feel I belong. "Launch!" Chapter 70: Chaos Contribution Chapter 70: Chaos Contribution Stars wink all around as I find myself once again floating in the center of a vibrant supernova. No other loading screen will everpare. "Wee back, Idiot." Thepany leaves something to be desired, however. "Well that''s just uncalled for," I tell the fiery Fate Atropos. The redheaded Fate snips her scissors aggressively. "No, what was uncalled for was you wreaking more havoc on your first day as a Hero than Eris managed in a millennia." Eris, Greek Goddess of Chaos. I try to feign innocence, but I can''t keep my overwhelming smugness contained. Honestly, it''s one of the greatestpliments I''ve ever received. Atropos''s red eyes sh and her grip on the scissors tighten until I start to feel like she''s one step away from pulling a KnB Akashi* and slicing my face open. Luckily, middle sister Clotho glides forward and smiles down at me, diffusing the tension. "Hero Erebus, would you like to re-enter at yourst saved location [Tara, GAEL]?" "Yes, please," I say politely. When Clotho turns to the youngest Fate Lachesis, I pull down my lower eyelid and stick my tongue out at Atropos. Because I am an adult. Without looking, Clotho grabs one of the leather straps crisscrossing Atropos''s shoulders and holds her back from stabbing me. Lachesis tuts. "No stabbing Chosen Ones with the Scissors of Destiny," she chides, shaking her long white hair. "You know better." "No rule says a Chosen One needs all his fingers, is all I''m saying," Atropos grumbles. "Tsk tsk. So violent." I shake my head disapprovingly. I also hide my hands behind my back, but that''s just because I wanted to, and has absolutely nothing to do with anything. Atropos barks augh and spins her scissors like an expert marksmen wielding a revolver. "Pot, meet homicidal kettle." "Erebus, you killed more creatures in your Foundation Vige than some yers have killed total so far," Lachesis says. "You''ve also made twenty-two minor deities cry, caused three nervous breakdowns, and driven seven to copse from exhaustion." Clotho''s referring to the devs there. In-game, NPCs refer to them as minor deities who keep the World Tree thriving. "Whoops," I say. Lachesis shrugs. "Builds character." Damn, she may look angelic, but that cherubic Fate is stone cold. "In fact," Clotho says, "the primordial being Nova has deemed your actions worthy of a new Title, and the Great-Father has allowed it." *Happy Ding of Iing Goodies* --- [Unique Title Acquired: Chaos Incarnate] You are either mad or brilliant. It''s remarkable how often those two traits coincide.** || An individualist who values your freedom, you avoid authority, resent restrictions, and challenge traditions. You have a penchant for flouting prescribed plotlines, yet your harebrained schemes somehow lead to sess more often than not. You regret nothing, ever. The devs cry at the thought of you, yet cannot help feeling intrigued by whatever insanity you''ll think of next. Clearly, you''re Chaotic Aligned. When equipped, Title grants the opportunity to Follow Your Chaotic Whims. With direct ess to the Nova AI, you may input alternatives when presented with certain predetermined options. Title does not guarantee 100% response rate for whimsical requests. At all times, Title grants +2 Charisma and Random EXP Bonuses when your Chaotic Contributions directly necessitate a system update or patch|| --- I''m speechless. If this is what I think it is, the Nova AI is going to allow me to deviate from nned plotlines. On purpose. I''ll have a dedicated line to the game''s central AI. While equipped, I can request options different from the ones automatically supplied by the game. It will be like when I asked Anansi if I could change the parameters of the Main Storyline Quest and have my Party join inter. As long as the AI thinks my request is feasible, and it doesn''t negatively impact the gameflow too much, I could end up creating new code for this game as I''m ying it! I thank the Fates, but Atropos cuts me off, "Yeah, yeah, no need to get all sappy. Time to make some moves, big shot. World to save, and all that." And with a final snip of her scissors, I''m whisked through the star-filled vortex to Gael. ------- The shadowed figure peers down from the star he''s hiding behind. "Didn''t you tell that programmer you were going to thwart Erebus? This doesn''t look like thwarting." An ethereal voice like liquid sunlight answers him. {I said challenge. It is hardly my fault if Visby misinterpreted my machinations.} "Poor man. On the one hand, he seems to hold a masochistic fascination with the boy who derails all his carefullyid ns without breaking even a metaphorical sweat." {On the other hand, he seems to gain a measure of sadistic glee whenever Erebus faces insurmountable odds and death seems nigh.} "Can you me him? So much chaos in one small D''Raven package." The shadow-man sounds thrilled.*** {Hence my challenge. If he can use his newfound power to ovee the impossible trials I have arranged, he deserves the boon bestowed upon him. If he cannot, he isn''t worth the effort of thwarting anyway.} Nodding thoughtfully, the shadowy figure agrees. "Why did youbel it unique though? Didn''t you give simr titles to seven yers?" {Technically, his Title is different from the others'', as his Chaos Contribution is many times that of any other yer. But the others received simr chaotic alignment titles. I believe their input will assist me in evolving Viren''s Refuge.} The shadow-man slices the air with one of his many appendages and opens a portal to Gael. "And with any luck, that evolution will trigger even greater changes in the world outside." ------- The towering elven architecture of Tara wees me home, and the familiar scent ofvender, chamomile, and mint fills my senses with calming delight. It''s been a long few days away. I stretch to the tips of my fingers, toes, and wings, and reacquaint myself with my D''Raven body. There''s afortingck of face-nting this time around. I missed most everything, but the realistic dirt vor still hasn''t grown on me. Since I''ve beaten Taliesin home, I take advantage of my early arrival. I send him a message telling him to meet me across the bridge outside the city and hurry off to enact a little revenge. I don''t have to wait long. Little Dude doesn''t want to waste any more time in the real world than I do. He''s cheerfully whistling and honest-to-gods SKIPPING across the bridge when I finally see him. It''s so stupidly pure and adorable I almost feel bad about murdering him. Somehow, I swear I feel Zen sending me a reproachful energy hum from way across town in Vulcan''s forge. "Hush, you," I hiss in Zen''s general direction. "This is vengeance." Taliesin crosses the bridge''s halfway point, officially leaving the [Safe Haven] border, and I whisper, "Nox." A ck shadow descends upon the Pu`ca, enshrouding him in darkness so profound, it even renders Excalibur''s shine useless when he instinctively draws it. "Eep," Taliesin squeaks in surprise, and no, that''s not cute, and no, I''m not the asshole here. Thanks to my high Perception, I can see perfectly within my own spell, and I engage Stealth to move silently. (I am the mothafuckin'' Darkness.) "Erebus?" I freeze, dagger drawn. "How''d you know?" Taliesin shrugs. "Because you''re the darkness." Well, shit. I feel so *seen* by this blind child right now. "This is an amazing spell, by the way," he adds. "I keep trying to counter with Lux, but it consumes any light I create." "It''s a permutation of Lux, so as long as my INT and PER are higher, my shadow will beat your light." "Impressive," he says, a hint of his earlier hero-worship back in his voice. I grunt in agreement, because yes, yes it is impressive, and how lovely of him to notice. "Any chance I can talk you out of murdering me?" he asks. "Any chance you can unmake a viral video featuring me in hot pink short shorts with HERO syed across my ass?" He sucks in a breath between his teeth. "Yeahhh...no. Not possible." I tighten my grip on the de Logane had thrown at my head. "Didn''t think so. Good news for you, I''m feeling charitable. Let me stab you twenty times, and that should make me feel better. Then we can move on, all happy-like." He winces but then sighs, looking resigned. "Okay, fine, I guess I deserve that." He lowers Excalibur and closes his eyes. Honestly, it kinda harshes my vibe. I was hoping to get the jump on a swordsman capable of engaging me in a deadly fight, gaining the upper hand, then stabbing the shit out of him to relieve stress. You know, a normal, healthy coping mechanism. Not...this. This is the emotional equivalent of kicking a defenseless puppy. Zen would obliterate me on the spot for being a monster. When the strike doesn''te, he peeks open one eye. "What if..." he begins hesitantly. When I still don''t stab him, he continues, "What if I make another viral video? One that''s cooler? Makes you look even more awesome?" "Are you insane? That kind of thinking started this mess in the first ce!" "Clearly I have mad vid skills," he insists. "Boxers Bro and its several remixes are in the top ten most-viewed posts from Day One." With my Nightvision, I can see the tiny smug smile tugging on his lips. I recognize it. It''s a cute baby smartass version of mine. (I''m not smiling, You''re smiling.) "Now imagine what I could have done with footage from your battle with an ACTUAL FRIGGIN'' DRAGON," Taliesin adds, and I can legit hear the angst in his voice over missing out on that fight. "DEAR GODS MISSED OPPORTUNITY, BRO." Damn. Didn''t even think about it. Honestly, didn''t think I was gonna survive that one, so... "Fine," I relent and bonk the moron on the head. The Nox shadow disappears, and I sheathe my dagger. "Yippee!" Taliesin cheers. "Ugh," I whine. Then I spin-kick his ass with one leg and swipe out his feet from under him with the other. "Ahh!" he cries, as he crashes to the ground. "Unnecessary violence!" I smile for real this time. "Dunno, kid. Sure felt necessary in the moment." I rise up into another healthy stretch, feeling alive. Then I look down at him, mischievous (evil) glint in my bright gray eyes. "Now, you ready to start some shit with some Ranker scumbags?" He answers me with a mischievous grin of his own. "Thought you''d never ask." ------------ *Akashi Seiijiro - Psychopath/Naturalborn Leader from Kuroko no Basuke **quote adapted from one of my all-time fave Chaotic Neutrals, Captain Jack Sparrow ***Deleted Joke (So bad, I had to share): "Can you me him? So much chaos in one small D''Raven package." The shadow-man sounds thrilled. (Somewhere, across the universe, Erebus feels distinctly annoyed, though he doesn''t know why. "It''s not a small package, per se," he says, to no one. He adjusts his trousers. "I''m a grower.") Chapter 71: Arachnes Panty Party Chapter 71: Arachne''s Panty Party As we head over to Arachne''s shop, Little Dude and I go over our n to steal the Four Horsemen''s thunder by racking up some Nightmare Mode First Clears. To be honest, "n" might be an overstatement. It''s pretty much just: 1) Collect Gear, Weapons, and Supplies 2) Use Taliesin''s fae teleportation abilities to move our mixed Party to Dungeons where Polemos and his crew scored Hard Mode First Clears 3) Do the same Dungeons, but better Everyone on board for this ''n'' was a high-ranking beta tester, so we should be able to clear at least one or two of them before we meet up with Lis for the next leg of our Main Storyline Quest. Taliesin takes us on a slight detour to find Brodie his little Brownie buddy. I pop into a shop to buy supplies and potions, and by the time I''m done, Taliesin''s waiting for me in his cat shift with a faery in a bright red vest sitting astride his back. "Brodie, I presume?" The little fae jumps to his feet, mbers onto Taliesin''s head and bows so low his thimble hat wobbles precariously. "Greetings, D''Raven." "Back atcha little buddy." I bow back, mostly because I like the cool "swoosh" noise my wings make when I sweep them back. And also, like, manners and shit. The Brownie gasps. "Erebus, Hero of Ages, bows to Brodie?!" His yellow eyes widen in shock, his long, spindly fingers sp his chest, then he falls off the shadow cat''s head in a dead faint. Oops. Forgot my Charisma increased again. A bow from the NPC Whisperer is a potent blow. Luckily, my Agility is also high, so I catch him before my brain even processes he''s falling. Hees to as I ce him back on Taliesin''s back. "You saved Brodie!" he gushes. ''No,'' I think, ''I saved my own ass. Arachne would have killed me if I injured her future Shop Guardian.'' "Of course," I say. "It''s what we heroes do best." I''mying it on thick, but the Brownie eats it up. An interesting bit of code has created literal stars in his eyes, and he asks if there''s anything he could ever do to repay me. Charisma build is best build. I kneel down so we''re eye level and bat my long eyshes. "Heroes don''t need rewards," I reply gantly. "Simply pay this kindness forward to my dear friend Arachne. Serve her well, and that would be the greatest gift of all." Literally. If he helps with her tailoring and increases her efficiency and output, her business will soar, and I''ll get rich right along with her. "So noble," Brodie gasps. Then I see the telltale glisten of fresh tears, and that''s a whole lotta NOPE. First, it was burly musclehead NPCs who couldn''t hold back tears. I do not have time for the scrawny sidenote NPCs to start crying willy-nilly as well. I about-face and hustle off, leaving Taliesin to find his own way. At Silken Strands, I slow down to take in the changes wrought by the 1-Star upgrade. The building is now two stories, exotic flowers spill out of nters along the second-floor windows, and the huge ground floor windows have space for disys. Inside, the showroom has expanded, plus there are dressing rooms and a back room for storage. I''m pleased to see that even with all the new disy counters and clothing racks, it doesn''t look empty. My business partner has been keeping busy, acquiring products to sell and making her own. NPCs are browsing her wares, which is one of the best perks of the 1-Star upgrade. As soon as a store is visible on a city''s map, it can attract NPC customers. This is especially important for Arachne, since she opened shop in a city that is currently devoid of yers. That''s the other reason I''m so eager to beat Nightmare Mode dungeons. Once three Nightmare Mode dungeons have been cleared, inter-city teleportation opens up. "If it isn''t my favorite reprobate." Arachne''s heels click as she saunters over. "You wound me," I reply. She arches her brow. "Oh? You''ve given up being a shameless scoundrel?" I puff up my chest and rustle my wings. "Haven''t you heard? I''m a hero." A tinkle of bells signals the front door opening, and Arachne''s ck cat ears twitch. "So what have you aplished since Ist saw you?" "Scammed a leprechaun and stole his life savings," a t voice answers. "That''s more like it," Arachne grins, turning to the neer. "Taliesin, gods damnit," I grumble. "I would never lie to my favorite Pu`ca tailor," he replies, beaming at Arachne. "I thought you were scared of her." "Yep, totally, 100% terrified. That''s what makes her so cool." I get that. Before the conversation can take any more turns, Arachneys eyes on Brodie, and it''s all over. She swoops down on the faery, and I almost feel sorry for the little guy. His eyes widen in fear as he takes in her predatory gleam, and he looks at me as if I might save him. Ha. Barely sparing us another nce, Arachne waves us to the dressing rooms where our new outfits are hanging. Taliesin''s is a slim-fit sleeveless white tunic with gold trim designs and a single yellow detached sleeve, and dark gold trousers. With his long blonde hair, he looks like an alternate universe Cheerful Link. It could not be more different from my new clothes: [Shinobi Death Shroud Tunic] {Blue} || Ninja-Soul Collector Hybrid Tunic, perfect for an aspiring emo or mall goth. Best when paired with a studded bracelet and a shinobi headband. Increased Stealth, +15% Defense against attacks from Living Enemies, +20% Defense against attacks from Undead Enemies, +6 Strength, +4 Intelligence, +2 Perception|| The Brownie thread must have been a sess; the tunic''s even better than the sum of its parts! The section that hangs lower is artfully tattered and really works that assassin aesthetic. She''s also included a deep purple sash that goes around my waist underneath my belt and makes the sapphires on my Orion''s Belt (Replica) pop. The woman''s a genius. Unfortunately, she''s also a devious minx who lives to torment me. I stomp out of the dressing room holding the final clothing item I''d found hanging. "Arachne. Really. This was the only pattern you could do for me?" "I didn''t want to ruin your aesthetic," she winks, "Boxers Bro." "Noooo. You''ve seen the video, too?" Despairing, I re at Taliesin. "Eep." Taliesin dives back into his dressing room. I throw a shoe from the nearest disy at him through the curtain. "The boxers look nice!" he calls out. Sure they do. They''re white, and covered in dark pink and red roses, with stems covered in thorns. Flowers. Again. "Try them on and check out the stats. At least nothing''s written on the ass," Arachne says cheerfully. Grumbling, I do what she says. Clothing can be handled manually like in the real world, or you can input from your Gear Window. This time, I just open that and unequip my pants. I manually take off the hot pink boxers so I can fling them over the dressing room curtain. It''s cathartic. Then I equip my new boxers and check out the stats. I''m so impressed by what I see, I walk out of the dressing room still pantsless. "Okay, these are pretty great," I admit to Arachne. She''s imbued them with a spell in the thorns that reminds me of Sleeping Beauty and the spindle: anyone who touches the boxers without permission falls unconscious for 3 seconds and takes damage. More useful to me, the +1 VIT boxers give me a 3% Chance of Stun Counterattack from physical attacks. I recognize these effects from a bra I''d tried on in the beta. "I know the original set were rose-patterned, but couldn''t you deviate for the guy version?" "Sorry," she says, not looking sorry at all, "but the Beast Rose dye is one of the key materials for the buffs, and they create that pattern. No can do." My murderous aura dissipates in resignation, and Taliesin pops out of his dressing room. "Besides, they look like your Emblem," Arachne points to the ink-ck Windflower that magically appeared on my new tunic. "Yeah, flowers are legit a part of your aesthetic," Taliesin agrees. I''m horrified. "The ones she made me have nts on them, too," he says and then pulls down his pants a bit to show me his new green shamrock-printed boxers. "+1 Luck stat, can you believe it?" Arachne shrugs. "It was the special enhancement from the Brownie thread. I only added the shamrocks to the design to create a +10% Defense against Curses; the Luck was a bonus." Of course it was. Sighing, I just re-equip my pants and ept my fate. I pay for my new gear with 15 gold coins. "Includes your 5% fee from the leprechaun gold," I tell Arachne, thoroughly enjoying her sapphire eyes widening in shock. I also exin we''re nning some raids today, and the dungeons should drop recipes and crafting designs. That snaps her back to attention, and she opens her status window to a nk Notes page and opens her in-game keyboard. She grills me on the dungeons I''m nning to hit, and makes materials lists for the designs avable in each one. ck-jawed in shock, I hesitantly ask, "Um, Arachne?" "What?" she mumbles, distracted. "Did you memorize which recipes and designs were avable in which dungeons, and which materials and ingredients were needed for each?" "Of course," she snaps, brow furrowed in concentration as she furiously types. "Why?" Freakin'' geniuses, I tell you. "No reason," I reply weakly. "Then scram. You''re distracting me." I chuckle. "Yes, ma''am." My fake-salute freezes when a glinting golden knife appears at my throat. "Call me ma''am again, and I swear to Danu I will end you, Erebus." Logically, I know there''s no way she can stab me in a Safe Haven. Further, I know that even if she could kill me on the spot, I wouldn''t *really* die. This is just a game. And yet. "Yes, Arachne the Young and Divine and Brilliant," I say quickly. "Much better. Now scoot." The second the knife disappears, I hightail it out of there with Taliesin. We pass Brodie, barely visible among piles ofce and gand decorations, setting up a disy in the front windows. I have no idea how he managed to drag the full-sized mannequins out there, since he''s maybe 30cm tall. Arachne''s angry mutter follows me out the door: "Ma''am? Really? I''m only twenty-six for gods'' sakes! Dumbass boys being all dumb." Chapter 72: Power of Positivity Chapter 72: Power of Positivity Next stop is the Adventurer''s Association. Now that Taliesin is also loaded with leprechaun gold, I tell him he should find a Liaison of his own. When you have the coin, your Liaison can provide hints for finding items like Housing Deeds, Animal Companions, Steeds, and so on. Plus, with his Luck, it won''t be long before quality shit falls into hisp, even without help, so he''ll need a Liaison sooner rather thanter. He starts searching through the avable staff, and I call over my man Alfryd. "How can I be of service, sir?" "I''m ready for my turret. I mean, my house!" He raises an eyebrow. Like the rest of his hair, it''s mostly ck with streaks of silver and white. The man takes "aging gracefully" to an entirely new level. "No, I think you meant turret," he says drily. Eh. He''s not wrong. "Unfortunately, sir," he says, "nothing has changed since thest time you called. The price is non-negotiable." Smirking, I plop my leather purse on the table. It''s holding Taliesin''s share, too, since his beginner purse can only hold 100 gold. Alfryd blinks in surprise. It''s the most emotion he''s shown yet. I feel like I just won something. As I fill out the 2-Star housing form and pay the fees, Alfryd looks at me with a spective gleam in his silver eyes. "May I inquire, sir," he says in a carefully neutral tone, "what your goals are?" "World domination, mostly," I reply, twirling my new key. The skeptical eyebrow returns. "Indeed?" I nod. "Obvs. Currently aiming for Savior of the People to control Gael. Always angling for the wealth, prestige, and unique items that will make life and fighting as fun as possible." I sigh dramatically and slump against the counter. "Also hoping to win the heart of this amazing girl, but that''s more of a dream." Alfryd pinches the bridge of nose. "Those are all dreams, sir." Elbow on the counter, I lean my cheek on my palm. "Only for those who can''t achieve them. For me, they''re goals." I''m not exaggerating. Alfryd can tell. For the first time since I hired the man, he looks excited about our contract. I mean, he still has the same stoic expression and ramrod straight posture, and ostensibly nothing has changed, but there''s this light in his eyes now, and I tell you, this butler''s falling for me, guys. "Confidence is often mistaken for arrogance," he says in that posh British-y voice I admire. "Perhaps I judged too hastily." "Oho! Are you saying you were wrong about me?" "Tch," he scoffs. "I said ''perhaps.'' Time will tell the truth of your genius...or your over-bloated ego." I couldy on the charm and Charisma the fuck out of this guy, but I''m enjoying his brutal honestly. (Plus the stoicism is so butler-y.) "I''ll take that challenge, Alfryd." I push off the counter and rustle my wings. "But I don''t expect to be the only genius in this partnership." His nostrils re to prove his annoyance, but otherwise, he remains impassive. "What might you be suggesting, Sir Darkness?" I know he''s making fun of me, but joke''s on him; that nickname is dope. "By the time I conquer Gael, you need to have proven yourself as well. Find me a direct lead to a Nova item, a Unique Quest, or a Housing or Business upgrade. I want something that truly sets me apart before I move on to Realm Two." Alfryd''s mouth thins. "Is that all, sir? Hardly a challenge." He''s lying, of course. But he has the highest stats of any Liaison I''ve ever heard of; if anyone can do it, Alfryd can. And now he''s properly motivated. I smirk so hard I feel it in my soul. "Will that be all?" he asks with a slight bow. (Pretty sure it''s to hide his irritation.) "Any requests to be aplished sooner than the Fall of Gael?" "In fact, yes." Whatever kind of smile I''m making, it makes a sh of worry cross his face. I came up with tons of ns during my involuntary time off thest couple days. His jaw gets tighter and tighter as he struggles to stay impassive while I list off increasingly difficult requests. First, I put him to work finding the best Lifestyle Liaisons for my business partner Arachne and my cksmith Vulcan, three options for each since I know they''re picky biyatches. I also task him with setting up a meeting between the Capitol City Regent and me. The Regent''s a member of the Tuatha, so I should have barely enough Reputation to not be arrested on sight by his guards. The rest is up to Alfryd''s stupidly high Influence stat. Then I switch gears and ask a question: "How many stall plots are there in the Teleportation Portal Market?" Alfryd, I''m pleased to note, doesn''t need to look it up. "20." "And what''s the rental rate per plot?" "1 gold Daily, 5 gold for the week." Excitement bubbles in my chest. "You can rent weekly? I thought it was daily firste, first-serve." "Once the Portal opens, then yes. But now? No one wants to set up shop there, so the city''s losing money." I want tough like a maniacal viin SO BADLY right now. I keep it in, though, so I don''t lose the little respect I''ve gained in Alfryd''s esteem. "Taliesin!" I call. He immediately turns his bright smile in my direction. "Can I borrow your gold?" He gives me a hearty thumbs up. "Sure! Do something cool with it!" I thumbs up back. "Will do!" Alfryd shakes his head. "That boy is not normal." "No, no he is not," I agree. I give Alfryd 300 gold. "Reserve as many days as you can with that. All 20 plots. If you can manage to negotiate for a full month, there''s a bonus in it for you." Alfryd''s silver eyes shine at the challenge, but he also looks down at me in warning. "The Regent doesn''t project the Portal will open for at least three weeks. This money will be worthless if it doesn''t open sooner than that." My answering smirk could put Hades to shame. "Good thing the Portal''s opening in about 10 hours then, huh?" Salt-and-pepper eyebrows shoot up into Alfryd''s hairline. "Can sir see the future?" "No need," I reply. "I make the future." Begrudging respect appears in Alfryd''s expression, in spite of his best attempt to lock it down. I have Alfryd write up a contract and send him on a quest to find the best businesses to start setting up stalls near the Portal. (No store thatpetes with Silken Strands, obviously, since Arachne''s store is right off the square.) The ones most likely to buy in are those farther away, especially since Steeds and intra-city public transportation haven''t been set up yet. If businesses want the inside track to be ready when the first yers arrive, I want 25% of their stall profits for the length of time I hold the lease for the property. Everyone knows the Markets do the best business in the first few weeks after Teleportation opens up, so I expect it won''t be too hard to find owners willing to ept my demands. Alfryd frowns. "They won''t believe me, sir. About the Portal opening so soon. At least, many won''t." "That''s fine. Great, actually. Warn any business that doesn''t sign before the Portal opens that the next contract option will be worse for them. Write up a brutal secondary one. Bleed ''em dry." I tell him there are five businesses, however, who absolutely MUST sign a contract before the Portal opens, no matter what it takes. First, there are a few massage parlors in town; whichever signs first gets the only Street Massage stall I''ll allow in the market. The street massages in the beta were insanely awesome. Not only does the massage feel great on your neck, shoulders, and arms, but it increases your HP! You end up with a second, smaller consumable HP bar. When you go to the massage parlors themselves and pay for a full-body massage, there''s even a small chance to permanently increase your Vitality +1. Next, Alfryd must find at least one vendor that sells food or drinks that temporarily increase your Stamina bar, and a potions vendor. One stall will be a street forge for Vulcan, but I''m not concerned about the profits for that. I just want my cksmith to level up faster and start gaining capital to open his own forge. The final, most important stall, will belong to Quinn the Mapmaker. Quinn''s ten kinds of crazy, and his shop is nearly impossible to find in the maze of Tara, but he''s the Official Cartographer of Realm One. Each Realm''s Capitol has one such person, and only they can provide urate maps for every region in the Realm. They''re pricey, but it''s worth it if you want to know where to find the best Zones for grinding, or for specific resources, etc. Not only will his stall make serious bank from all the hardcore gamers, but I have ns for Quinn once the game opens up to more casual yers. I need to forge a rtionship now, in preparation forter. I also have Alfryd im five stalls in his own name. yers won''t want to pay another yer who beat them to a good spot so quickly, but they''ll have no problem paying an NPC. Alfryd will build five simple stalls for yers to rent by the hour to sell/barter their goods at a cheaper rate than the Auction House tax. I trust him to figure out the percentages and whatnot. And boom. With that, we''ll have Health bonus, Stamina bonus, maps, weapons for sale, weapon repair, plus potions necessary for adventuring and stalls for quickly selling raw materials. All immediately out of the gate. What hardcore gamer, out to seek his fortune, will be able to resist? When I''ve finished speaking, Alfryd''s impassive facade cracks. "If you really pull all this off..." he begins. "I''ll make enough money to buy a small city, yeah," I finish. "Without actually doing any real work," he adds, sounding most impressed by this part. I shrug. "Who has time to work when there are horrible monsters to y and beautiful women toy?" He looks skeptical. "So you suddenly think seducing that woman is no longer a dream?" "Power of positive thinking, Alfryd!" "Too right you are, sir." "So...can YOU actually pull this off?" I ask. "This is way beyond the normal scope of a Liaison''s abilities." He sniffs, as if offended by the suggestion, but a fewugh wrinkles light up near his eyes. "Power of positive thinking, sir." Chapter 73: Zenaku, How I Missed You! Chapter 73: Zen''aku, How I Missed You! Our friends message to say they''re nearing our rendezvous points, so Taliesin heads out to start faerrying people to our first dungeon of the day. (Get it? Because he''s using his fae powers to ferry people from ce to ce?? Hehe.) I make my way to Vulcan''s smithy. He''s working when I arrive, and I know better than to interrupt. Vulcan has his own Zone he gets into when he''s crafting, and nothing short of a dragon attack can distract him (and even then, he''d only notice if the dragon''s me breath was specifically about to alter the perfect temperature of his forge''s fire). He may seem flirty and ridiculous most of the time, but you don''t be a godly cksmith without the skills, vision, and drive to create works of art. Deadly, gorgeous, works of art. Speaking of, my beautiful babies are hanging on a rack near the door, and my fingers twitch with my need to have them back in my possession. Faint shadows are now visible on their hilts, waiting for further upgrades to one day reveal their true form. I gaze adoringly at Zen''aku for who knows how long, and likely would have continued to do so indefinitely, if two strong arms didn''t embrace me from behind and scare the friggin'' bejeesus out of me. So much for +17 Perception. "Hey Studmuffin." With a groan, I try to pull out of Vulcan''s hug, but to my surprise, I can''t budge. "What the hell Strength stat you rocking, Vulcan?" I ask. Laughing gently, he swoops down for a cheeky air-kiss before releasing me. "Mid-50s, or so?" I gape at him in utter shock. "WhaHow?" "Found a secret treasure in my Valkyrie Foundation Vige, plus cksmithing increases STR at a higher rate." I frown. "That seems broken. Are all cksmiths going to be jacked, OP mofos?" Vulcanughs again, a sultry, molten hot guyugh. Life is so unfair. "Perhaps I should be more specific. cksmiths get small STR bonuses when they level up their cksmith Lifestyle ss, which simply keeps thempetitive with the Adventurer yers. I, however, keep getting extra STR bonuses because I keep being the first person to aplish...pretty much every possible cksmith ability and feat?" Of course. Shoulda known. I use Thread Reader II to check another random stat; his AGI is only 16, half mine. Whew. "Where''s little cutie?" He looks around, as if the Pu`ca''s hiding somewhere. "Taliesin''s busy, I''m afraid; no cuteness today. You''ll have to make do with in ol'' me." Vulcan frowns at me, one slender hand on his jaunty hip. "Hush, you," he admonishes. "You know my rule about self-deprecation. Only self-love in my presence. You are plenty cute enough to be a feast for these poor eyes, darling. And don''t you forget it." My lips quirk into a lopsided smile, charmed in spite of myself. "Yes, Vulcan. Now, can we please get to business?" "Ooh, in a hurry for a hot date?" He''s joking, but immediately, I think of seeing Kara Geir in roughly thirty minutes, decked out in all her battle-hardened glory. Vulcan''s eyes narrow and he taps his fingertips together in excitement. "Tell me, tell me, tell meeee!" I try to tell him it''s nothing, but I''ve already blown off this conversation once, and Vulcan is not taking no for an answer this time. Few people realize Vulcan has an alternate online persona: Ossa, the Greek Goddess of Gossip, Rumor, and Fame. He posts "Ossa''s Insights" videos, dishing the juiciest gossip and rumors. Usually, he pours himself a steaming cuppa, and divulges secrets until the final sip of tea is gone. World-ss ballet dancers end up privy to A LOT of dirt, it would seem. Last time I checked, he had somewhere around forty million subscribers? I don''t bother fighting Vulcan too much, mostly because he is great to dish to, and he appreciates the gravity of a soul-searing crush. "Remember the guy who got stabbed in the dick and electrocuted during the Beta Championship?" I ask. Vulcan wrinkles his nose. "Ew, gross. Mr. Gropey McJackass?" "The one and the same. Now, do you remember the beautifulvender-haired goddess who rained holy vengeance upon the bastard?" "Oh. My. God." Vulcan ps his cheeks, thrilled. "She''s perrrrfect for you, I love it, I love her, I can''t wait for you two to make tiny vengeful, battle-crazy babies together!" I sigh. "Honestly, at this point, I''m just hoping for a single, uninterrupted conversation." "You aim too low, lover boy. But I believe in you nheless." Suddenly, he lights up, like he''s had a wonderful idea. I can''t help it; I perk up, hoping he may have love wisdom to share. "You should send her the Boxers Bro video! One look at that cute ass of yours, and the girl will be putty in your arms!" My tattoo rages across my face as I n Vulcan and Taliesin''s murders. My murderous aura makes Aku scream from the wall. "Kidding! I''m kidding!" Vulcan cries. "Conversation is a great y. Go with that!" ----- After Vulcan brews me a pot of tea, I calm down enough to refocus on my purpose for visiting the forge. Aku seems disappointed. "Can you take a break from your apprenticeship?" I ask eventually. "Sure," he replies easily. "What do you have for me instead?" I''m struck by the fact he trusts I must have a good reason, and he doesn''t doubt me for a second. That''s...kind of awesome. "Great. I know it''s early, but I think you should head out to the Burren Caves." His brow furrows in confusion, then a lightbulb goes off. "The Whetstone Design?" I grin. "But isn''t it early for" he begins, then he realizes what I haven''t yet said. "Sweet sassy mssey, you''re about to knock over some Nightmare Mode dungeons, aren''t you!?" I pull out the Market Stall plot map. "Which is the best location for a street forge?" Vulcan gazes at the map like he wants to make his own babies with it. He would be drooling, if he ever did anything so uncouth. "This one, darling, it''s perfect. You always give me the nicest things." He points to a spot in the corner, right next to the street that leads to the main Gate of Tara. It is, of course, perfect. If he can score the Whetstone Design for in-the-field weapon repair and craft a few hundred before the Portal opens, he''ll make a fortune. (Conveniently, these must-have items are unavable from NPCs, and no one else has made it to Burren yet, which is the only ce to find the design. It''s too far from any starting Town, and you have to pass too many high-level zones if you go on foot.) I give him one of the Rainbow Teleportation Charms. They''re only good within Gael, and I have my own Pu`ca-sized teleportation charm already. It''s a round-trip charm, so I still have two in reserve for emergency. We talk about the merchandise he''s already created as part of his apprenticeship, and I give him a bunch of the low- and mid-tier weapons and armor I''ve collected so far. They''re too shitty for me or any of my Party members to bother with, but for most yers, they''re fairly high-end at this point. I also hand over a bunch of raw materials he''ll have more use for, with upgrading weapons and gear. Vulcan and I fall back into the same arrangement we had in the beta; I give him shit I don''t need, and he provides all my upgrades, repairs, and (eventual) enchantments for free. He also hooks me up with cool items he crafts, and lets me know about special weapons or gear he finds or hears about through the rumor mill. Moreover, we both keep each other posted on forging and crafting designs. I send all designs his way, with the understanding that he listens to me if I have a particr idea about the right time and price to sell the crafted items. Plus, he has a gift for altering the designs and forging his own Unique items, and I always get first dibs. I convince him to let Arachne in when he truly begins building his business. He''s a genius at the crafting side of things, but Arachne''s twice as clever when ites to business and marketing. Eventually, when he''s established himself, we''ll probably sign a more official contract, and I''ll buy into his business like I bought into Arachne''s. But he''s not as business-savvy, and he''s ying the game differently than she is, anyway. It''s not time for that yet, and that''s cool with me. Finally, when everything else is settled, we get to my real concern: "What can you tell me about my babies??" Grinning, Vulcan reverently takes Zen''aku down from the wall. "These are truly masterful, Erebus. I''ve never encountered anything quite like them." I shiver. That''s seriously saying something. It was Vulcan''s job to provide feedback on every possible weapon in the beta; he''s studied hundreds. Vulcan exins that his Appraisal Skill detailed the specifics of Zen''aku''s Curses. It turns out, each de has a CURSE DEATH that can be triggered if I mess up really badly, and a series of CURSE EFFECTS that are triggered when I only mess up a little. Each time I upgrade, the CURSE DEATH penalty remains the same, but the weapons gain more CURSE EFFECTS. To help me better understand what I''m dealing with, Vulcan used one of his standard cksmith Skills to edit the Item Descriptions and add his own notes. As a reminder, I read over the basic upgrade notes: --- [ Zen''aku Twin Daggers ] { Legendary-Tier CURSED WEAPON } || des of Good and Evil. These weapons are Cursed. Use at your own peril.|| {Zen''aku des are perpetually upgradeable. At each 10th Level, specific requirements for upgrade will be revealed. You must upgrade both daggers at the same time. As the des get stronger, so too do the consequences for inciting the CURSE EFFECTS. CURSE DEATH damages Immortal Soul of yer. Once damaged, every subsequent death of yer will result in yer being locked out of the game for 36 hours, and yer will lose one random item from Item Storage or Weapon Storage. Further, after a Curse Death, Zen''aku des immediately drop. If they are not picked up within the 15-minute time limit, they will teleport to a randomized location in the Realm where they were lost.} --- I decide to save the new Active Skills the Upgrade triggered, and start with the negatives Vulcan wrote in for me: --- [ Zen de ] -CURSE DEATH- || Can be triggered ONLY upon initial Drawing of the de || Zen can only be drawn by someone with a worthy heart. Anyone who dares draw this de with unrighteous intentions shall burst into the white mes of justice and instantly perish. Unrighteous Intentions (as judged by the System, which can read yer thoughts): theft of de, selling de, disying de where can''t be used (using it as a trophy instead of wielding it), inflicting violence against an innocent (Innocents include - NPC or PC unarmed/surrendered enemies, nobatants, allies) -CURSE EFFECTS- || Can be triggered after Zen has been drawn for another purpose/intent || 1) 10x Damage - Incurred if you inflict injury upon an innocent (even unintentionally) (Note: Though this 10x Damage can kill you, it''s not an official CURSE DEATH. Only normal death penalties apply.) 2) Zen locks, unusable, for 12 hours after Resurrection ----- [ Aku de ] CURSE DEATH || Can only be triggered when you wield Aku in System-Recognized Combat || Aku can only be wielded during Combat by someone infused with killing intent. Anyone who dares wield this weapon with mercy orck of murderous conviction shall be swallowed by the ck void of vengeance and instantly perish. Definition of mercyck of murderous conviction: Allowing an enemy engaged in Combat to live, even if they surrender or are disarmed. Either you must die, or they must. (Note: If you give up the fight or ept a surrender, you will suffer CURSE DEATH. If you simply die, or if they escape, you will suffer the appropriate CURSE EFFECT.) CURSE EFFECTS 1) If you die inbat, Aku locks, unusable for 12 hours after Resurrection 2) If abatant escapes your grasp 3 times, you automatically die (and incur CURSE EFFECT 1) 3) After death, you may not Resurrect for 1 Hour ----- I''m d to finally have the details of these Curses worked out, and also terrified because these suckers are definitely going to put me in a "Damned if I do, damned if I don''t" situation. Vulcan further exins that if either weapon is drawn while in Combat, the System recognizes that weapon as drawn throughout the entire Combat session. That''s useful, since it means I can''t incur Zen''s CURSE DEATH any time after the first time I draw the de during a fight. On the other hand, it means if I use Zen at all during the battle, if an opponent surrenders, they automatically be an "innocent." I have to kill them, or I''ll get CURSE DEATHed by Aku, but by killing them, I''m gonna be hit with Zen''s 10x Damage CURSE EFFECT. Sigh. Guess I''ll cross that bridge when I get to it. On to the more exciting stuff! ording to Vulcan, using all the insanely high-level materials, like Boss Weapons and special Fog Essences, caused the Active Skills to skip a few levels. I''m about to cry. Zen''s first Active Skill is: [Smite (Lvl 3): Divine Justice Shall Rain Upon the Unworthy! Area of Effect Attack - Call forth the Divine Sword of Light; where it pierces, Damage radiates out +3000 Damage within 5-meter radius, +1500 Damage for next 5 meters, +500 Damage final 10 meters. Cooldown: 30 minutes, Consumes Stamina.] Aku''s Active Skill is: [ShadowSlice (Lvl 3): MurderMurderMurder! This attack brings your Killer Intent to Life! Leave traps via slices of shadow in the air, like after-images to your attacks. Each shadow remains for 10 seconds, or until an Enemy touches the shadow and is attacked. Each shadow deals +500 Damage and Stuns Enemy. No Cooldown, Consumes Stamina.] Both skills are unbelievably awesome, though I''m gonna need to start prioritizing my INT, to increase my stamina and lower the amount of stamina consumed when I use magic de attacks like these. Can''t wait to try them out in the next Dungeon... Chapter 74: RIP Your Face! Chapter 74: RIP Your Face! I can''t help myself. I Smite the first mob Ie across because I can''t wait to try my new skill. ...It may be a bunny. But like, a super fast bunny who kicks! I mean, it probably feels fast to yers who don''t have my insanely high AGI. And, you know, sure, my Defense is so high I don''t think I could take damage from it even if I let it kick me for an hour... BUT SMITE. I wanted to Smite sooo badly. So I do. I Smite the shit out of that bunny. It''s fucking awesome. Of course, the second Smite goes into cooldown, a giant bear shows up, but whatever. Such is gamer life. I practice my new ShadowSlice and manage to take the bear down without a direct hit from Aku; I only use the afterimage shadows toy traps and trick the bear into running into them, then while the bear''s stunned, I hit it with my throwing dart Whistling Starfall or with bolts from the Unseelie Crossbow. The second the bear dies, the familiar wooden chimes and scent of ck licorice tickle my senses. The earth shakes, and a crack appears in arge boulder. It''s a "hit me with something heavy because I''m probably hiding secrets" kind of crack. So, I whack the shit out of it with Wrath Reaper, the overblown weedwacker I scored from the Oni no Gekido. After the fifth hard smash, the telltale "You have uncovered a Secret!" sound effect rings out, and the boulder crumbles away, revealing a cave. The earth trembles again, and this time, roars from deep within the cave tell me a horde of creatures are about to burst forth from the shadows. I check the time. I still have twenty minutes before Little Dude''s supposed to show up and whisk us off to the Dungeon... With a wide grin, I unsheathe my dual des, ShadowSlice a web of traps inside the dark entrance, and face off against the denizens of the dark cavern. ---- Ahhh. So nice. The mindless slicing and dicing with Zen''aku is exactly what I needed to relimate with my beloved de babies. The heaps of loot don''t hurt, either. Arachne and Vulcan are going to be stoked about some of the materials I gained! My [Tears of the Programmer Bonus] 100% loot drop rate for Fickle Fortune encounters really came through for me with this round of Combat. I even scored the perfect Lvl 15 armor for my number one wingwoman Jade Thorn. It''s mint green, and I managed to collect the full three-piece set. I don''t think anyone found this cave during the beta, because I''ve never seen this armor before. Satisfied with my loot haul, I finish making my way to the Fae Portal. Taliesin''s runningte, so I take the time to distribute my Free Attribute points. It doesn''t take long, since I nned it out before I logged in. With the increase, I can finally equip the Oni Cuirass I scored off the Wrath Demon. Not only does this bad boy increase my Strength and defense in general, it also increases defense while I''m in a Berserk State by 25%. If things proceed like they did in the beta, at Fortitude 20, I''ll unlock "Adrenaline Spike," a berserk state skill that only kicks in when my HP is in the Red Zone. At Lvl 1, Adrenaline Spike doubles Stamina for 90 seconds, though the price is entering a Severely Weakened State afterward. Since Fortitude increases when you spend time fighting in the Red Zone, when you fight while in an Injured or Heavily Damaged State, and when you defeat Willpower Checks, most yers eventually reach high enough Fortitude to acquire Adrenaline Spike. yers can obtain berserk skills separate from Adrenaline Spike as well; for example, Valkyries and Rakshasa have racial berserk skills, and Masters in those races'' Realms can teach berserk skills at the end of quests and such. The leather cuirass protects my chest and back, and the second I equip it, the inky ck Windflower Emblem appears like magic. I''m finally starting to feel like my old Reckless Ranger self, decked out in light armor and strapping all kinds of powerful weapons. --- Name: Erebus Race: D''Raven ss: -- Subss: -- Title: Chaos Incarnate Level: 15 EXP: 806800/5000000 HP: 693 SP: 134 Attributes: Strength: 51 Agility: 32 Intelligence: 27 Vitality: 34 Hidden Attributes: Fortitude: 18 Luck: 0 Charisma: 17 Perception: 17 --- It''s nice my Chaos Incarnate Title paid out for this round of patches and updates, too. I ended up with almost 750,000 bonus EXP from all the chaos I caused on my very first day. Go me. With over-30 AGI, I can ninja-run up trees and walls for a short time, so I run up the nearest oak and kick off into a twisty-backflip-thing I am sure looks badass. When Ind, I bust out a sweet Moonwalk, and glide into a perfect MC Hammer Shuffle. My wings provide a little something extra those moves never knew they were missing. "Fuck yeah, I''m great," I say to the trees. "You keep telling yourself that," the trees say back. Damn sentient foliage. "All right, man''s got moves," a familiar voice crows from the now-glowing portal. "But can he do this?" I Michael Jackson spin to check out Taliesin flip into a one-armed handstand, then start break-dancing like a champ. "Hot damn, dude! I thought you''d be riverdancing or some shit." Grimacing, Taliesin freezes in an impossible, perfectly-bnced position. "Rude, man. Just cause I''m Irish." "You''re the one who got a hard-on for a leprechaun, Little Dude. How am I supposed to know which stereotypes are legit?" He shrugs, somehow, even though he''s bncing on his head at this point. "Fair." He spins and then smoothly transitions into the Worm. He rocks it for a couple seconds, until he hits a dirt clod and gets a face full of earth. "Blehhh, what the heck? The dirt actually tastes like dirt! Why would they code that???" I hold out a hand to pull up the yellow-d dance monster. "I been asking myself the same question, kid. Now you''re officially on my level." He materializes a couple ckberry juices from item storage and hands me one. We cheers and gulp them down, then Taliesin activates the portal, and we whiz off across Gael. ---- | Outside the Hermitage Ruins Dungeon - aka Redcap Castle | A red-scaled Draegkyn awkwardly paces back and forth. At times, he seems ready to take down the castle dungeon all on his own. At other times, he seems ready to bolt. "What the hell am I doing here?" he mutters to himself. Thevender-haired Valkyrie and the tall Angakoq Shaman turn to him, looking politely worried about his mental health. Embarrassed, the Draegkyn lowers his extrarge floppy hat to cover his eyes, not for the first time wishing his buddy Lis could havee with him. The hat''s now a faded red color (It''s pink, it''s 100% pink, and not a cool pink like coral or bubblegum; no, it''s that awful Douchebro popped-cor polo-shirt pastel pink. He''s just in such strong denial about this fact even the third-person narrator felt the need to call it "faded red.") after thetest steps he''d taken on his Cursed Hat Quest, so it matches the blush coloring his cheeks. He looks incredibly stupid, but neither of hispanions are rude enough to tell him so. Then the Fae Portal next to the Dungeon opens, and two newpanions join the fun. "BAHAHAHA I FORGOT HOW STUPID THAT HAT IS!" one of them says immediately. The D''Raven neerughs so hard he''s wheezing, and the Valkyrie thinks she sees a single mirthful tear. Without missing a beat, the Draegkyn shoots an arrow at the D''Raven''s smug face. The D''Raven tilts his head just enough to let the arrow zoom past him; the air lightly ruffles the raven feathers in his ck hair. Then the ground explodes behind him, sending ming dirt clods in all directions. Apparently it was an exploding arrow. Honestly, the whole thing just makes the D''Raven look cooler, like those guys from action movies who walk away from explosions without looking back. The Draegkyn sighs. The D''Raven grins. "I missed you, too, Nightfury." "I hate you with the passion of a thousand burning suns," Nightfury deadpans. "Moving on," the shaman Nanuk interrupts. "Erebus, we''re here like you asked. Now, are we really doing this?" Erebus pumps his fist. "You bet your icy Inuit ass, we are!" The Pu`ca Taliesin pumps his fist in solidarity. Nanuk blinks, taken aback by the bizarre phrasing and the absolute confidence oozing from the weird D''Raven. Kara the Valkyrie giggles, mostly at Nanuk''s nonplussed expression. Erebus glows like he''s just won the lottery. His brain short-circuits, as a chorus of ''I made herugh, I made herugh, I made herugh,'' repeats in his mind, and hepletely forgets why he''s called them all to this castle ruin. Then his chat function beeps, and he snaps out of it enough to ept the iing video call from Lis. "Hey hey heyyy!" Lis cheerfully greets. "You guys ready to run a certain death dungeon?" "Gods yes," Kara replies. "That make-up Foundation Skill quest had me two seconds away from tearing my hair out." "Ugh," Nanuk agrees. "At least we only had one each. Rah and Jade are going to be at it forever." "Gee, I can''t imagine how awful that must be for you guys," Taliesin says, drawing Excalibur. His voice sounds sincere, but his eyes are twinkling with the same smug light as Erebus''s. "Guess some people just do Foundation Vige better," Erebus says, drawing Zen''aku. He doesn''t bother sounding sincere. The two "clink" their glowing Legendary-tier weapons together. Nightfury, Kara, and Nanuk grind their teeth and shoot metaphorical mes from their eyes. Lis giggles and shoots a literal spark from his. "Ooh, cool dude! Is that a new spell?" Erebus asks. "It will be, once I finish this quest," Lis excitedly exins. "If I raise it to Lvl 5, I''ll havezer eyes!" "Duuuuude," Erebus and Taliesin say in unison. "You''ve been spending way too much time together." Nanuk sounds pained. "I''m a great role model!" Erebus exims. "No, you''re not," Nightfury, Lis, Kara, Nanuk, and Taliesin reply. "Ouch," Erebus says to Taliesin. "Science," Taliesin replies, putting the word in air quotes. "Solid point," Erebus admits. "Could we possibly move on?" Kara asks. "YES!" Erebus yells. Nanuk rubs his temple and idly wonders if it''s possible to get a headache in-game, or if it''s simply a psycho-somatic response to being surrounded by such weird people. "So who''s going to be Party Leader for this ragtag operation?" he asks. "Oh," Erebus says, as if surprised by the question. "Me." There''s a beat, as everyone else waits for him to borate. He does not. Nanuk clears his throat. "Okay, uhh, I''m just gonna ask then...Why you, exactly? It''s not like the rest of us are like the low-level newbies of yourst crew." "Hey!" Nightfury barks. "I''m not offended," Lis remarks, unconcerned. Nanuk nods an apology to Nightfury. "Presentpany excluded, of course." Erebus pats Nightfury''s floppy pink hat. "Don''t cry, Mr. Dragon." "Your face makes onions cry," Nightfury growls. "I have it on good authority my face looks more than reasonably passable!" Erebus replies. Kara gives him an appraising look, clearly checking him out. "Your face is just fine" Erebus sucks in a breath, surprised and overjoyed. "We just need to put a bag over that personality," she finishes. And whooooosh, there goes all his air, and Erebus''s poor soul with it. "RIP, old buddy," Lis says. Chapter 75: Big Dick Energy Up in Here Chapter 75: Big Dick Energy Up in Here My Goddess uses ''Psych, Seemed Like a Compliment, Actually an Insult!'' It is Very Effective. I think I actually die for like .02 seconds. "There isn''t a bag big enough in this world," Nightfury shakes his head at Kara. "You could fill a spatial storage ring with his assholery, and you''d still have bits of jackass personality leftover." As always, Nightfury revives me. I strut over and p him on the shoulder. "Aww. So you''re saying I''mrger than life!" He splutters, "What, no" "A giant among men!" "I didn''t" Hands on hips, I strike a superhero pose. "The epitome of Big Dick Energy!" "Fuck''s sake," Nightfury grumbles, right before he tries to stab me in my big dick energy. He doesn''t have Arachne or Kara''s precision though, so I easily side-step the danger. Little Lieu remains unscathed. Nightfury doesn''t seem all that surprised by my sessful dodge. With a light sigh, he simply returns his knife to weapons storage. "Give it up, moron. Everyone''s seen you in your skivvies. We all know exactly what kind of energy you''re packing, and it''s middling at best." Ouch. Kinda wish he''d just stabbed me, to be honest. Think it might have hurt less. Lis has my back, though. "Big Dick Energy is a state of being, my friend," he advises Nightfury. "My wife has BDE for days." "Arachne has Bigger Dick Energy than anyone I''ve ever met," Taliesin adds. "Facts," I agree. Nanuk looks like he has A LOT of questions. I casually up-nod at Kara. "Ms. Valkyrie over here might give her a run for her money, though." Kara had been leaning against her spear with a bemused smile, seemingly enjoying the random idiotic banter, but at myment, her violet eyes widen in surprise. "Stabbing and electrocuting that groper in the Coliseum was ssic BDE," I assure her. The wicked, self-satisfied grin that shes across her face is insanely hot and wholly terrifying. "You noticed that?" "Everyone noticed that," Lis tells her,ughing. "Though until this moment, I didn''t realize that was you. The live-stream didn''t zoom in on you; they focused on the dumbass look the fried guy had when he was sted into the air." "I didn''t have a great angle from the stands, either," Nightfury adds. "ssic move, though, mad props, Valkyrie." He sounds genuinely impressed. Suddenly, Nanuk interjects, "NO BLOODY WAY!" We all jump at the normally quiet shaman''s random explosion. The dude hasn''t said anything in a few minutes, so I''m not sure what he''s even responding to. Kara looks the most confused. "Nan, you were sitting next to me. This isn''t a surprise." But Nanuk''s not looking at her. He''s staring at me like I''ve grown an extra head. Considering my Fickle Fortune, I actually reach up to double-check I haven''t spontaneously added an appendage. When I verify it''s all clear, I sigh in relief, then turn my questioning gaze on Nanuk. "What''s wrong, dude?" "IT''S YOU!" he cries. "It''s me!" I reply, mostly out of habit. "Not this again," Nightfury moans. "What are you on about, bro?" Taliesin asks. "Only two people in that arena had a perfect view of Kara''s strike. I didn''t even clearly see what was going down, and I was right there. But Prometheus/Zhao Jianyu had the most direct, unobstructed perspective." Nanuk''s eyes narrow, and he steps closer to me. "Him, and one other. The guy on the tform, center-stage. The bloody Beta Champion!" He dramatically points at the Unique Emblem on my chest armor, so vastly different from the skull and scythe sigil on his and Kara''s. It takes a second for everyone else to catch up, but then pandemonium breaks out as everyone speaks at once, demanding to know if it''s true. Welp, the jig is up. Luckily, I wasn''t overly concerned about hiding my champion status from these peeps anyway. I tune out the shock and awe from most of our Party, and focus on how this news affects Kara. Her jaw drops, and she searches my face for the truth. In response, I paste on my trademark smirk, handsign for Whistling Starfall, and repeat my Coliseum move by throwing the exploding dart at the base of a fallen log, blowing it sky-high. Then, in one smooth motion, I unsheathe my dagger and throw it at the mossy wood. Just likest time, my de sinks into the ming log at the same time as Kara''s perfectly thrown dagger. Our eyes meet, matching roguish gleams lighting up our smirking faces. "They''re either perfect for each other," Lis gushes, with a romantic sigh, "or they''re going to destroy each other and burn the whole world down with them as they fall." He honestly sounds equally enthralled by either prospect. That''s a man who reads a lot of shojo manga. A pink flush prettily dusts Kara''s high cheekbones, but I notice she doesn''t outright deny Lis'' remark. Instead she gives me The Look. It''s that Look with the knowing smile and the smoldering half-lidded eyes. It''s approval and challenge in one. Instead of a definite "Yes," it''s a "Let''s see what you got; if it impresses me, then *maybe* you have a shot." It''s enough for me! I''ll freaking take it! I''m tempted to make a move immediately, but it hasn''t escaped my notice that all of my best moments with Kara have been entirely unnned, when I wasn''t actively trying to impress her. And involved her seeing me as a badass gamer. Guess it just became even more important for me to kick ass on these Nightmare Mode runs. For now, I return The Look with my most confident grin, saunter over to the impaled log, retrieve both daggers, and use all the advanced dexterity my AGI affords me to twirl and flip Kara''s dagger, before deftly catching the de and gantly offering her the handle. "Nice shot," Ipliment her. "Nice flower," she counters, epting the dagger and lightly tracing my Windflower with its point. My advanced Perception lets me feel the featherlight movement, even through my armor. I forget how to breathe. She''s literally pointing a razorsharp de at my heart, and it''s the hottest, scariest thing that has ever happened to me. Then she steps closer, bites her lower lip, and looks up at me through her long eyshes. I lose all remaining brain function. Not even S-grade solution can help me now. ... But good ol'' Nightfury can. A loud, hacking fake cough from Nightfury snaps me out of my haze. I don''t know if he''s trying to help or ruin the mood, but it''s exactly what I needed. I take a shaky breath. "You don''t know the half of it," I finally reply. (Seriously. Not only does my Emblem grant amazing bonuses, if she knew the damn thing was imbued with negative Luck, she''d probably be shocked...andugh her ass off.) "Guess you''ll have to show me." The challenge in her voice ignites my ownpetitive streak and brings me back to (almost) full mental power. I lean forward, into the de and therefore into her space. She looks mildly surprised, but as I anticipated, she doesn''t back down. She simply readjusts the dagger so it doesn''t stab me, yet, which I take as a good sign. "Told you I wasn''t boring," I remind her of our convo from thest time we met. "Not yet," she acknowledges. I cheer internally, and resist the urge to pump my fist. "But I still don''t know if you can keep up once the real show starts," she adds. "Not a problem," I dere immediately. "You sound sure." "But of course." I grin and tilt my head down to whisper in her ear. "I AM the show." A shiver travels down her spine, and she involuntarily jerks the dagger. "Sorry!" she says, aghast, quickly pulling back, only to once more be surprised. Her Red-tier dagger''s no match for my Lvl 25 armor and insanely high defense. Instead of stabbing me through the heart like she feared, its limited durability depletes upon impact, and with a light tinkling sound, shatters into so much blue stardust. "Sorry," I say, as the blue particles swirl between us. "Awesome," she exims, violet eyes sparkling. "Is it weird that I now want to stab you with all my weapons, to see just how good your defense really is?" "Is it weird that I find the fact that you asked that super hot?" I reply. "Probably." "My bad." She grins. "And yet I don''t seem to mind." I grin back. "I can work with that." "I swear to the Gods," Nightfury growls, "if you don''t get your asses inside that Dungeon, I''m going to stab you both." "Great, do it! More data!" Kara says. ''This woman is my soulmate,'' I think. Chapter 76: Time to Shine, Asshole Chapter 76: Time to Shine, Asshole "Dungeon! Yes! Let''s go!" I say, all enthusiasm. I Sprint to the Dungeon entrance faster than my Party''s eyes can see, then I turn expectantly. "Geez, c''mon, Nightfury, what''re you waiting for?" Nightfury looks like he might actually stab me. It''s cute. I wink at him and pull up my Status Window. "How do I make myself a Party Leader on purpose this time?" "Wait, we never resolved that, did we?" Nanuk objects. "You kinda resolved it for us," Taliesin tells him. Nanuk frowns, confused. "What? When?" "About the time you screamed because you realized Erebus is not only the best yer here, but likely the best yer in the entire game," Lis reminds him. "Oh," Nanuk says. "That time." Without another word about it, he helps me figure out the system for creating a Dungeon Party and shows me how to make myself Party Leader. Wow, real leader-types are so helpful. I feel like I owe it to a guy this chill to exin why I really want to be Party Leader, especially since I''ll need full Party approval to set myself as the recipient of ALL dungeon drops. "Obviously, I''m super awesome, so Party Leader''s a great choice for me," I begin. Nightfury pretends to vomit. "But there''s another reason I need to be in charge today." Taliesin looks intrigued. "Ooh, like what?" "Due to some...circumstances, I currently have a 100% loot drop rate for all, uh, ''special'' monsters." Suddenly, everyone''s reminded of the THREE Hidden Bosses that just so happened to appearst time I ran a dungeon. "Any time we end up fighting a creature not originally part of the dungeon design, or when we stumble across a secret tunnel or room or whatever, as long as I''m designated to receive the goodies, the goodies will appear with a 100% drop rate." "Holy Loot Rate, Batman!" Lis speaks for everyone, stars in his eyes. "It onlysts the next 36 hours," I warn before they get too excited. "So, just today." Nanuk''s suspicious, since it''s clear I left out pertinent details, but it''s not like he''s identally made an epic dragon appear, so what can he say? There''s no real arguing against a perfect drop rate perk. In a surprise twist, Nightfury actually helps the most. When Nanuk asks if he thinks I''ll be fair and honest with the loot, Nightfury nods without even thinking. "Yes. For sure. He''s an ass, but he doesn''t dick over his teammates." My immediate reaction is to give him shit for getting all sentimental, but I also kinda don''t want to ruin it. I haven''t had teammates in a really long time. Nanuk still looks healthily skeptical, so Nightfury adds, "He even kept Shadeyer alive all the way to the Final Boss." "Wow," Nanuk replies, looking at me with newfound respect. "I''m fine with Erebus gaining all the loot," Kara says, "but I''m not admitting he''s the best yer here before I''ve even seen him perform in-game. Dungeon raids and Coliseum battles are different skillsets." Okay. So yes, I''m pretty sure I''m madly in love with this woman, and I may be all warm and fuzzy from Nightfury calling me his teammate... ...but no way in Hades I''m not taking advantage of this situation Kara has so graciously dropped in myp. My tattoos ripple as a predatory grin stretches across my face. Lis and Nightfury both shiver in recognition. "How about we set EXP to Contribution?" I suggest, faux-innocently. "Then at the end of the raid, we''ll divvy the loot all at once, in order of the final Contribution stats." "So whoever has the highest Contribution gets first dibs on the treasure, and so on?" Nanuk rifies. My eyes gleam. "Precisely." "I like it," Kara agrees, immediately up for the challenge. Gods, I could kiss her right now. "This is a trap," Nightfury warns. "He''s gonna end up with all the best shit and the EXP." I make myself look shocked. "Whatever could you mean? Are you saying none of you fellow beta testers are good enough to keep up with my awesome DPS?" Nanuk''s face hardens, and I realize he has apetitive streak of his own. "Not even. I like this n; it''s fair. Whoever contributes the most should get to choose the best rewards." He crosses his arms and stares me down. "Just don''t be surprised when you lose your Number One spot." Nightfury mutters under his breath, but I can''t hear the words over my excitedughter. This is going to be great. As everyone epts the Dungeon Contribution Terms, Lis sighs. "Well, sounds like my cue to hang up and finish my solo quests," he says forlornly. "I''ll save you some sweet loot," I promise. "Since I''ll be first in the ranks every time, I''ll have plenty of chances to score great stuff," I can''t help adding with a cocky wink. Nanuk grinds his teeth, Kara grips her spear, and Taliesin draws Excalibur. Nightfury just covers his face with his pink hat and groans. Like I''d hoped, Lis perks up; the leaves on his head rustle happily, and a few flowers spontaneously bloom. "I''ll make it worth your while! By the time we meet up for the Quest this afternoon, I''ll be the best Support yer you could ask for! And next time, I''ll be able to help you clear all the crazy death dungeons!" Before I can even respond, he hypes himself up with a cheer, enthusiastically waves at everyone, and hangs up. ''D''a. Adorable ambitions. So pure,'' all of us beta yers think. "I''ll save him some good stuff, too," Nightfury says gruffly. "He wants to be a Healer, right?" Nanuk asks. "I''ll teach him a few tricks during our Quest." "I have a +3 INT butterfly clip that would look really cute in his flowery hair," Kara adds. "I''ll film our raids, so he can watchter and not feel left out!" Taliesin says in his most adorably enthusiastic voice. "And I''llWait, can you do that?" I ask the Pu''ca, distracted. He grins. "Yeah! The in-Dungeon video feature appeared after the Update. It was supposed to automatically appear as soon as the first Nightmare Mode Dungeon was cleared, but the devs didn''t think that would happen for a while yet, so they weren''t ready." Hehe. Poor devs. "As an apology, they actually released an announcement telling everyone upfront that after the second Nightmare Dungeon''s cleared, the Live Stream option will also open up." Huh, I''d missed that. Interesting. "Ooh yay, that''s his thinking up a crazy idea face," Taliesin whispers to Kara. I don''t bother responding because I am, in fact, thinking furiously. Unconsciously, I unsheathe Zen''aku and smoothly glide through my sword forms, mind racing with plots and ns. No one else speaks, they just move out of the way to give my brain space. Finally, I have it. "Oh balls, that''s his ''We''re ''bout to stir up some shit'' face," Nightfury whispers to Nanuk. "You know it," I agree. Then I tell everyone my brilliant n. Essentially, Raid Live Streams can be serious moneymakers, but only once you''ve made enough of a name for yourself people are willing to buy in to watch. No one will take us seriously if we juste out of nowhere and offer the first Live Stream. But what if we caught their attention first? I propose the following n: We make a video right now, telling the world we''re about to take down Nightmare Mode Dungeon #2, and we post it to the forums. Most people will think we''re full of shit, of course, but we''ll still get their attention. Then we have Taliesin use his vid skills to make a montage of cool moments inside the Dungeon (can''t give them the whole raid for free; snippets of badass footage only, so they''ll be drooling at the chance to see a full Raid) and then once the World Announcement goes out about a First Clear, we''ll post the montage proof video. Then we''ll set the time for our Live Stream of the next Dungeon. Live Streams are cool because people outside the game can pay real-world money to watch (though with the time dtion, the "live" raid actually ends when IRL people are only one-third of the way through.) In-game, we can let yers buy in with game coins, real-world money, or with items. The best part is, since we''re beating these dungeons so far ahead of schedule, most yers are going to want to buy in to see what tricks or cheats we''re using. Sucks to be them, of course, since it''s all good, old-fashioned talent. (And Legendary-tier weapons. But they don''t need to know that.) When I finish exining my n, Taliesin and Kara look pumped, Nightfury has his usual constipated expression, and Nanuk clearly thinks I''m insane. "Okay, if no else is going to be the voice of reason, I guess I will," he says. "Shouldn''t we make sure we can actually beat this dungeon first, before we go making all these insane ims? We''ve never even been a party together before!" "So?" I ask. "This Dungeon took us twenty tries to beat just on Hard Mode back in the beta. I''m all for trying the Nightmare run and scoring some loot along the way, but I never honestly expected us to clear it, you know?" "Huh. Weird," I say. Nanuk splutters iprehensibly. I shrug. "Good thing I''m Party Leader after all. Buckle up, buttercup, we have two Dungeon Clears ahead of us this morning." "All righty," Taliesin says, already way ahead of me, "who''s gonna do the talking in this first vid? I have a great angle from over here." "Erebus." To my surprise, and I think everyone''s, Nightfury is the one to suggest that I be the lead. "What? Why?" Nanuk asks. Poor dude looks so confused and out of his league. He''ll get on our level eventually. "Think about this way," Nightfury says seriously. "We want to get a ton of viewers. There are a few main ways to make people watch a game vid and react to it. You can have a solid character/persona people want to interact with, but that takes time to develop. You can show off skills that are insanely good (or so remarkably bad they''re almost good again), but this is supposed to just be an informational video. And then there''s the way we can pull off without even trying: Piss people off. Make them log in because they want to see us fail. No one can do that like Erebus can. Let him shine as the Ultimate Pompous Arse in this vid, then we''ll focus the montage sequences on him, too. And let him keep up his stream of assholery. It helps that he can also pull off insane moves that no one else cane close to copying. He makes you root for him at the same time you''re always hoping in the back of your mind that he gets eaten and stomped on and utterly destroyed." "Speaking from experience there, buddy?" I ask. He looks me dead in the eyes. "Yes." "Hahaha, brilliant." I p and rub my hands together. "Let''s do this." Chapter 77: Hype Vid Chapter 77: Hype Vid 10 SILVERS SAYS WE CLEAR NIGHTMARE #2 BEFORE BREAKFAST! |Tales of Taliesin| 2 hours ago 02:16 - 13,083 views { DESCRIPTION } Hype Vid brought to you by Best Party in Viren''s Refuge! Hear the challenge straight from our Party Leader''s mouth -- we''re about to score a First Clear on Redcap Castle Nightmare Mode! Don''t believe us? We''ve staked our gold to back our im! [CLICK HERE] to bet 10 Silvers For or Against our Chances! (Link only active as long as System recognizes there''s enough money for payouts. Bet early if you want to guarantee a slot!) --- COMMENTS 186 Thokk: gtfo, ya burned chicken nugget Oh Ur Dead: who the fuck this guy think he is? Hey!des: how bout no. what a ming asshole MothaEffinOedipus: hahahahahahaha i''m dying this mofo''s insane ck Stabbath: easiest 10 silvers i''ve ever made --- BowJob: saaaame --- XXXena: same +2 ... --- MothaEffinOedipus: same +69 SoullessButHappy: ok hOW DO SO MANY PEOPLE HAVE 10 SILVERS TO BET?!? --- F3AR R3APER: ^wondering the same, bruh! i''m poor af, barely 10 coppers to rub together, let alone this 10s bs --- Awesomesauce: must suck to suck, brosefs. my Party had 20 silvers lying around to bet --- DoraTheDestroya: no need to be a dicksauce. --- DoraTheDestroya: @Soulless @F3AR, no worries if you''re not rolling in coins yet. it''s early days, we''re still a copper economy. y at your own speed and ignore the haters Odin''sEyeball: Umm...anyone else wondering how the hell the party in the vid had enough gold to ce this bet? Scrolling through thements, looks like at least 50 ppl wagered?! Kvasir: hrious, petty, smug asshattery. i am rooting for this D''Raven bastard 100% --- Lis: Same! --- zing Fists: *pumps fist* --- Ivan the Tolerable: hate to admit it, but same. --- Shadeyer: Same +1,000!!! Assassin Barbie: just throwing this out there...but redcap castle is next to a PvP zone... --- Dolya: Won''t killing them right after they die in dungeon be kicking them when they''re down? --- Thokk: fuck no. --- Oh Ur Dead: remember when Darkwing Fuck said he can''t beleive this dungeon didn''t already get beat since he "could beat the Boss blindfolded" --- Oh Ur Dead: then goes "But I''m me, and it''s not fair to think you can do anything I can, sorry, how thoughtless of me." --- Thokk: fuck that guy. ..... Odin''sEyeball: Any updates? Who''s at Redcap? Have they died yet? Assassin Barbie: group of us are waiting at the exit, haven''t seen them yet Oh Ur Dead: they may have died before we even arrived Assassin Barbie: doubt that, tbh Dolya: my Party was almost here when the vid was uploaded, nning a Hard Mode run; we would have seen them SoullessButHappy: ...is anyone else impressed they''vested over 2 hours already? my party tried Redcap Hard yesterday and didnt'' evenst 30 mins --- F3AR R3APER: oof the Room of Wraiths get you guys too? --- SoullessButHappy: i stg that room is impossible --- F3AR R3APER: technically we beat the RoW, but only 1 of us survived, and he died like 10 secondster when recaps started dropping stones from the ceiling Kvasir: no, but seriously. what if they actually clear this? i fucking love it --- Hey!des: there''s no fucking way --- Lis: yes fucking way --- Shadeyer: all the fucking way -------------------------- [World Notification: Congrattions to Erebus''s Party for sessfully clearing the second Nightmare Mode Dungeon! Rewarded +50 World Reputation Points, +1 Gold, +50,000 EXP ALL PLAYERS REWARDED: Live Stream Option Now Avable! Check Official Post for more Info!] [Realm Notification (Gael): FIRST CLEAR Hermitage Ruins Dungeon Nightmare Mode - Erebus, Kara Geir, Taliesin, Nightfury, Nanuk; Party Members Rewarded +100 Gael Reputation Points, +50 Silver, +25,000 EXP, Mythic Hero Bonus BONUS: Perfect Victory - No Death Run! For being the First Party to clear Nightmare Mode without a single casualty, +50 Gael Reputation Points, +25 Silver, +10,000 EXP, Blue-Tier Chest] -------------------------- Kvasir: @Hey!des bahahahahahaha Erebus: @Everyone BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHA --- Taliesin: Yes --- Kara Geir: Fucking --- Nanuk: Way --- Nightfury: (_) --- Erebus: --------- BEST OF SHADESLAYER''S RESPONSES TO TROLLS: Thokk: gtfo, ya burned chicken nugget --- Shadeyer: no, you gtfo, ya mustard stain Oh Ur Dead: who the fuck this guy think he is? --- Shadeyer: the best ever Hey! Deez: how bout no. what a ming asshole --- Shadeyer: you''re a soggy wetwipe ..... Oh Ur Dead: remember when Darkwing Fuck said he can''t beleive this dungeon didn''t already get beat since he "could beat the Boss blindfolded" --- Shadeyer: That''s Mr. Darkwing Fuck to you, sir. Oh Ur Dead: then goes "But I''m me, and it''s not fair to think you can do anything I can, sorry, how thoughtless of me." --- Shadeyer: ...but it''s true, tho? Thokk: fuck that guy. --- Shadeyer: you wish. (i get that) --- Kane: @Shades, ffs, focus, you moron! I almost died because you''re too busy typing in the forum to help me with these friggin'' mobs! ------------------ Author''s Note: Sorry it''s so short! WebNovel is super tricky to format, so this is my "test run" before the Montage Battle Scenes/Forum Response Comments chapter! Chapter 78: Introducing...Chaos Party Chapter 78: Introducing...Chaos Party FIRST CLEAR REDCAP CASTLE NIGHTMARE MODE - HIGHLIGHT REEL! |Tales of Taliesin| 58 minutes ago 05:44 - 29,667 views { DESCRIPTION } We told you we would, and we did. First Clear Nightmare Mode - Redcap Castle! Proof Vid for you non-believers, brought to you by Best Party, CHAOS PARTY! Highlight Reel edited by yours truly, Taliesin. If you want to see all the deets on how to beat a Nightmare Dungeon, join us for our Livestream of ckguard Bog, starting at 08:00! CHALLENGE ISSUED - Calling Polemos, Limos, Loimos, Thanatos - Four Horsemen Party! Your Dungeon First Clears are pathetic! Prove you''re more than hack Rankers by beating us in a Livestream Race! [CLICK HERE] to ce your wagers - @OssaSpillsTheTea is hosting an official online gambling den for this uing event! More Details on Ossa''s Insights blog. --- COMMENTS 1,728 Tom Tom: shit, how much this game cost again? i NEED --- XXXena: ~40k --- Tom Tom: ... --- Tom Tom: i will sell my body and get back to u --- Odin''sEyeball: ^seems legit gratuitousgigi: I have an exam in the morning. it''s 4am in my timezone. I''ve never even heard of this game. what am I doing with my life --- gratuitousgigi: *clicks rey* ------------ |[ VIDEO ]| The first thing Taliesin''s subscribers notice is that the opening sequence is new; the kid must have been busy during the update days off. He''s been making videos under the Taliesin pseudonym for years. His bio exins that his mom once joked he must be "Taliesin Reborn" because he was a precocious kid who loved telling grand, imaginative stories. (Like all gifted, Extra AF children, he took her throw-awayment and ran with it.) The new opening stars an artistic rendering of Taliesin''s in-game avatar, styled to look more like the legendary Celtic bard than he currently does. The bard wanders onscreen holding his mythic magic lyre, surrounded by forest creatures. He dramatically thrums the instrument, and "Tales of Taliesin" appears in golden lettering, along with Taliesin''s redesigned logo. It''s always been a Celtic knot with a lyre hidden in the middle, but now his beloved in-game sword also passes through the knot. He thrums again, and the music turns frenzied and dark. Lightning shes, thunder roars, and winds carry the screams of battle. The screen distorts and crackles, and the colors bleed together until most everything''s ck and shades of gray, with bare wisps of color breaking through. The title and logo melt and distort until they reform into an inky-ck, jagged typeface pronouncing "CHAOS REIGNS." The "O" is actually a wicked-looking flower dripping inky blood, and the "I" is another lightning bolt. ------------ RELATED COMMENTS lil stevo: "Chaos Reigns" rly? boy cannot stop being extra for a damn second --- SummerHugs: you leave my sunshine child alone. i will cut you --- Nanuk: My baby brother is extra talented, for sure! (^^) --- lil stevo: ... i don''t have the heart to destroy this blissful ignorance. yep. extra talented. exactly what i meant. ------------ |[ VIDEO ]| The first highlightse from battles against the lowest-level mobs in the castle dungeon: warrior ghosts and creatures spawned from haunted paintings. It''s obvious to everyone watching that this Party is a well-oiled machine. Clearly, they must have yed as a team in various games before this because they work together seamlessly. Nightfury coordinates from the outskirts of the battles, shooting at the red-eyed animals and monsters that emerge from the paintings. Amazingly, even when he seems to aim directly at Erebus''s head without a word of warning, the D''Raven always knows to lightly dodge or tilt his head out of the way, letting the arrows find their mob marks. Erebus then often beams a huge grin back at his Draegkyn friend and winks as he finishes off the monsters. Nightfury sighs and rolls his eyes as if to say, "No need to tell me how great our teamwork is, buddy!" This silentmunication between these close friends andrades-at-arms is beautiful to behold. Though Erebus spends most of his time fighting up close and personal in the thick of things, he sometimes seems inspired by his ranged bestie and can''t help aiming for far-off mobs. The strangest part of his ranged fighting style is that he barely seems to look where he''s throwing his exploding dart or aiming his crossbow, but he still somehow manages tond astounding headshots and critical hits. (Of course, sometimes, he misses spectacrly, but with the editing, it''s hard to tell how often that''s happening.) The mid-range attacker Nanuk flows between offense and support; his ivory boomerang flies through the air, while ice magic flows from his glowing staff. He attacks mobs in one breath, then freezes or slows the mobs his teammates are fighting in the next. And even though his Heals are still low-level, his timing is perfect. Perhaps too perfect. "Nanuk, dude, STOP [BLEEP] HEALING ME," Erebus shouts. The D''Raven''s standing in the middle of a group of ancient warrior ghosts in tattered tartans, letting them hack and sh at him with rusty broadswords and battle axes. He''s trying to grind for more Fortitude, so his Pain Modtor has to be set at the full 20%, and he needs to spend time fighting in the Red Zone. His high defense means he''s been taking a beating for a while, especially since Nanuk healed him twice, but when he finally sees his HP dip close to the Red Zone, he''s relieved and raises his daggers to finally take out the mobs around him. Nanuk waves his staff and Quick Heals Erebus. "FOR [BLEEP] SAKE!" Erebus cries. "Ooh, sorry. Instinct of a Healer and all that," Nanuk replies stoically. "Your so-called instincts are making me spend twice the amount of time purposefully getting beaten up, you" A broadsword bonks Erebus on top of the head, cutting him off with a grunt. The video cuts to a new scene almost immediately after, but one viewer swears that if you freeze the frame, a tiny smirk is visible on Nanuk''s face. (Most other viewers disagree. Nanuk is far too noble to smirk at his own Party member''s misfortune. He is simply too helpful sometimes.) --- Next, viewers can hear strange wooden chimes in the background of the video, and though the two ranged fighters'' faces tighten in worry, the three melee fighters gleam with battle-hardened anticipation. A rumble shakes the ruins, and a hanging tapestry depicting a warrior riding a bear falls off the wall and drifts to the stone floor. The image ripples in time to the wooden chimes, until a 3-meter-tall bear and the equallyrge warrior erupt from the tapestry and attack. The next few minutes showcase the awe-inspiring camaraderie between the melee fighters. First Taliesin breaks the inte when he leaps up to w the warrior''s face, then springs off the giant and transforms into a demon goat mid-air to shoot me magic into the bear''s eyes. Then the world is awed by the wicked dance that is Kara Geir and Erebus''sbat teamwork. The white-winged Valkyrie swings her spear and makes the bear rear back with a terrifying roar. The ck-winged D''Raven slides under her attack to sh at the bear''s hind legs, hobbling the creature. Karands a Critical Hit in the bear''s heart, then Erebus gracefully leaps up to spring off her spear and FangBite the warrior on either side of his neck. Then Erebus headbutts the giant, and when the warrior howls in rage and pain, the D''Raven kicks off his foe''s scarred chest, pulling his daggers free, and backflips behind Kara, who immediately moves in to impale the distracted giant. At the same time her spear strikes, Erebus''s throwing dart explodes in the giant''s face. They continue their mesmerizing tango of attack, white and ck wings rushing through the air until the tell-tale music that signals the two battle-crazy yers have taken down the mini-boss. At the end, Kara and Erebus stand back-to-back, white and ck feathers intermingled, spear and twin des at the ready, as the boss disappears into a million opalescent blue particles, drifting around them like tiny stars. They don''t know it, but both their faces wear matching expressions of adrenaline-fueled joy and excitement for whateveres next. They cannot see, but the viewers can. ------------ RELATED COMMENTS Pauli the Puca: @3:50 what the actual WHAT was that, Taliesin?? how can he already transform into the goat demon?!?!?! --- Nanuk: He''s the first in the game to gain the ability! :) --- Xxxena: i''m wondering how he can shapeshift in midair, like what? --- Pauli the Puca: riiiight?! I fiiinally managed to shift to horned shadow cat in 3 seconds this morning, and iwas proud of that SoullessButHappy: @4:19 uhhh...is no one else feeling a little hot right now? --- MorticiaDamns: you mean from the sexual tension practically VIBRATING in the air between Kara and Erebus HOLY SHIT?! --- F3AR R3APER: but did you guys see the way erebus looked at Nightfury? and their silent, perfect coordination?? --- Here.For.It: *gif of Erebus winking at Nightfury* get you a man who looks at you the way erebus looks at nightfury #eury #teameury4ever --- Nightfury: end this hashtag, or i end your life --- Erebus: Aww, they just want to bask in our love. Don''t ruin it, you tsundere dragon! --- Here.For.It: EURY CONFIRMED OMFG --- SoullessButHappy: pretty sure that d''raven was one heartbeat away from banging that valkyrie like a screen door in a hurricane #fiftyshadesoffeathers Jade Thorn: @KaraGeir GIRL. --- Kara Geir: @JadeThorn girrrrrl. --- Erebus: @JadeThorn I have a present for you! :) --- Rahotep: why are u giving her presents u bastard --- Jade Thorn: aw, Kara, he''s DEFINITELY a keeper! ;) --- Erebus: ^that would be why. Chapter 79: Sighs are Nightfurys Love Language Chapter 79: Sighs are Nightfury''s Love Language |[ VIDEO ]| Five minutes in, the video shifts to a new room in the dungeon, and it''s clear the Chaos Party has already made short work of the mobs within. Most of the Party seems eager to move on to the next stage, but Erebus is holding them up. He''s zipping around the room, throwing his dart at every random g and hanging tapestry, just in case one of them is programmed to fall like the bear/warrior mini-boss. "Give it up already," Nightfury grumbles. "Thatst hidden mini-boss was due to that weird wood chimes effect. You''re not going to force anything to happen with that damn dart." Erebus just gives him a t look, then while staring Nightfury straight in the eyes, he throws the dart behind him at the tapestry high above his head. It misses spectacrly. The dart seems to purposefully veer away from the tapestry, in fact, and explodes a wall sconce. The torch hanging from the sconce flies over to a bookshelf full of dusty tomes, which immediately catches on fire. Nightfury''s draconian eyes widen in rm, but before he can yell at Erebus, that special [Secret Revealed!] sound effect rings through the air, and the burning bookshelf crumbles away, revealing a hidden tunnel! The video then shows a close-up of what viewers are already starting to think of as Erebus''s Trademark Smirk. The D''Raven strikes a pose, clearly telling the world he missed on purpose. Obviously, the entire "throwing the dart at tapestries" build-up was a stunt to add suspense, and Erebus definitely knew what he was doing the entire time. What a Party Leader! Erebus winks at his Draegkyn pal, and the video zooms in on Nightfury''s return sigh. "I hate you," Nightfury deadpans. Erebus turns and speaks conspiratorially to the "camera," even though that''s not actually how the recording system works. "Hate is Nightfury''s lovenguage," he reveals. He bounds over to Nightfury and tugs down his...''faded red''...hat. "Love you, too, boo!" Then he bows and gestures for Nightfury to lead the way into the open tunnel. "[BLEEP]," Nightfury replies. The world loves their yful banter. --- As the Party travels through the pitch ck hidden tunnel, Erebus reveals yet another trick that breaks the viewers. Most yers have already learned the importance of Lux, since many Dungeons do not have consistent sources of light. But average Parties require every yer using Lux at all times to light up even a tiny portion of their surroundings. Erebus''s Lux somehow lights up several meters in every direction?! What''s more, he''s capable of changing the Lux color?! He filters through a few options before settling on a dark blue hazy light that, in his words, "gives the right vibe for that ''creepy tunnel ambiance''." Kara is impressed by his Lux ability, but viewers are more impressed that it takes her only seconds of Erebus exining for her to be able to match his skills. She weaves a deep violet Lux into Erebus''s midnight blue. Unfortunately, theirbined Lux spells do perhaps too good a job creating a creepy vibe. Every time spiders and rats scuttle towards them, the Party startles and jumps before killing the low-EXP mobs. When a white glowing spectre flies in from the ceiling of the tunnel, everyone''s on edge enough that they jump back into a horrified huddle reminiscent of the Scooby Doo Gang. Poor Nanuk screams. In shadow cat form, Taliesin rubs against his brother''s side like arge housecatforting its human. Nanuk looks marginally better for a moment before a thought even more terrifying than ghosts enters his brain. He grips Taliesin''s shoulder. "You''ll edit that out right?" Taliesin shifts back to human and gives his brother aforting pat. "Of course. No one ever needs to know." Nanuk lets out a relieved sigh. Without looking, Taliesin reaches out with a fist. Erebus bumps it with his own. The two share identical evil grins. The spectral shape takes form as a tall, regal ghost woman with long hair and a long, flowy dress that constantly waves, even though there is no wind in the tunnel. [HIDDEN BOSS] [WOMAN IN WHITE - Once Queen of Hermitage Castle] [Level 40 - HP 500,000/500,000] The Chaos Party looks even more rmed to discover this Hidden Boss is more than they bargained for. But while most parties would simply run from such overwhelming odds, the same cannot be said for the Chaos Party. Erebus winds up what looks to be an amazing Sword Skill, bright light surging around his silver-white de... ...but before he can release the attack, Taliesin grabs his arm and jumps in front of the Party, waving and pleading for them to spare the ghost queen. "Kid, you''re killing me," Erebus says, exasperated at Taliesin. (Viewers are quick to note, however, that he does cancel the skill immediately.) "But she looks soooo sad!" Taliesin replies, lips wobbling like he might cry himself. "We need to help her!" "We need to kill her before she eats our souls," Nanuk grumbles. Ignoring his brother, Taliesin bestows his most pleading expression on Erebus. The D''Raven rolls his eyes and bonks the Pu`ca on the head, but gives in nheless. Nightfury sighs. Nanuk mumbles about impending doom. Kara hides a fond smile behind her hand and moves over to Taliesin. "You have that D''Raven wrapped, don''t you?" she whispers. Taliesin grins back. "And you don''t?" With augh, the Valkyrie throws an arm around the Pu`ca''s shoulders and together, they go to face a Lvl 40 Hidden Boss. --- The video doesn''t show what they do to convince the Woman in White not to kill them, and viewers can''t hear anything the party says to one another as they go on what appears to be an epic mystery quest on behalf of the Hidden Boss. Erebus and Kara change up the Lux lighting here and there as they run all around the dungeon, and Taliesin oveys cool music over the video as it cuts from scene to scene in a true montage. The only real sounds we hear of the entire adventure are the repeated sighs of Nightfury that seem to coincide with decisions made by Erebus, though it''s impossible to say for sure. At one point, Erebus tosses Nightfury up onto a high balcony, convinced there''s a clue up there. He doesn''t warn Nightfury before he throws him, but of course, he doesn''t need to. Their beautiful teamwork leads tomunication akin to telepathy; who needs words, when you have arade who understands you so well? The camera does zoom in to show Nightfury''s extra-long sigh as he flies through the air to the balcony above. (As if he doesn''t LOVE it! Ha!) For some reason, Nightfury seems even more annoyed when there is, in fact, a clue on the balcony, but viewers assume they''re misreading his expression, since we can''t hear what he''s saying. The montage ends with the Woman in White''s horrible wailing face morphing into a calm, beautiful smile as she clutches something (blurred out, looks vaguely humanoid?) to her chest. Then a blinding sh of light as the Hidden Boss disappears and the [Congrattions!] appears in the air. ------------ RELATED COMMENTS longjohnsilver: @6:06 I was scratching my balls during this part, and when the terrifying ghost chick swooped in outta nowhere I almost ripped my dick off --- Bowjob: condolences Oh Ur Dead: all y''all thinking erebus did that shiz on purpose are nuts. no way that wasn''t pure dumb coincidence --- Shadeyer: oh yeah? let''s see you "pure coincidence" a backwards throw with an exploding dart that leads to a Hidden Bossir. HA Kvasir: I love how Erebuspletely ignores the fact that he missed his target by a mile and just *Shall we move along, then?* ---PeterGriffin: I always ignore my mistakes it''s why my kids hate me DoratheDestroya: this is less a hidden boss fight and more a Nightfury Sighs Comption brokenmegane: i rte to Nightfury bc i too am an antisocial mess constantly being dragged into dumb shit by an extroverted friend --- F3AR R3APER: "friend," really? please. exasperated but fond sighs are an introvert''s true lovenguage. #eury4ever --- SoullessButHappy: clearly you missed the once-again Perfect Coordination between #karebus, and even their child Taliesin knows Erebus is WEAK for his Valkyrie --- Xxxena: all these shippers sailing away, andi ''m just treading water over here like "uhhhhh is no one else talking about the fact these bastards ended up triggering MULTIPLE HIDDEN BOSSES?!?!" Rahotep: @Nanuk super manly scream there, bruh --- Nanuk: I HAVE BEEN BETRAYED. --- Taliesin: but it was funny tho --- Erebus: but it was funny tho --- Lis: did you two just type the exact samement at the exact same time? --- Taliesin: *gif of the fist bump* --- Erebus: *gif of the fist bump* --- Nanuk: You need to stop hanging out together immediately. --- SummerHugs: Taliesin and Erebus''s friendship gives me life. --- SummerHugs: *gif of the head bonk* --- kittkatt: @6:03 that spell must have a crazy long cooldown given how long the starting animation takes, but he just *cancels immediately* without even asking why when taliesin gives him those puppy dog eyes --- Odin''sEyeball: i''m old and cynical and my heart is a shriveled husk...but this friendship is so damn pure i think i feel the fucker beating again --- Taliesin: ily bro --- Erebus: ily bro --- Nanuk: I AM YOUR ACTUAL BRO. --- Taliesin: ily biological sibling ---Erebus: ily bro''s big bro Chapter 80: Erebus is Fake News Chapter 80: Erebus is Fake News |[ VIDEO ]| Erebus ruffles Taliesin''s blonde hair affectionately. "All right, Little Dude, as thanks for that amazing loot you scored us by being a big softie, you get to call the shots for the next dungeon battle." Taliesin grins, eyes sparkling with excitement. "Then I want you to solo the Boss''s Antechamber!" Erebus looks surprised. "You don''t want to swoop in and take the DPS? Or coordinate our attacks as a Party?" "Nope! I want you to forcefully shut up all the haters spewing crap online!" Taliesin sounds downright giddy by the idea. "I get where you''reing from," Nanuk says, in the tone of someone who does not, in fact, get it at all, "but what you''re asking for is suicide." As one, Taliesin and Erebus tilt their heads in confusion. Nightfury chuckles at their in-sync movement and Nanuk''s rmed expression, far too used to Erebus not understanding the concerns of mere mortals. "Not to worry," he reassures Nanuk, "Boss Antechamber in this dungeon is just the redcap minions who haven''t been killed by us yet." "Solo should be doable," Kara agrees. "I swear we''ve had close to 100% mob spawn rate so far, and we''ve killed every redcap mob we''ve seen. Theoretically, the Dungeon should adjust and there shouldn''t be too many mobs left to fight." Wrong. Even though they killed a ton of the murderous little gremlins, the Boss''s Antechamber is teeming with mobs. The redcaps are short, but rippling with muscle and covered in scars. They wield scythes and aim for major arteries, causing critical hits and Bleed effects. Blood is their sole desire. They are driven by a bloodlust so intense, they celebrate victory by dipping their hats into the pools of their enemies'' blood. In-game, the deeper the crimson hue of the hat, the stronger and more bloodthirsty the Redcap. The redcaps in this Antechamber are all wearing hats so saturated in blood, they appear dark burgundy. Several of the darkest hats drip with fresh blood, as if they couldn''t wait for the Chaos Party Intruders to arrive, so they went out on a killing spree before returning for this final battle. Everyone turns to Erebus with varying expressions. Taliesin''s quivering with anticipation of the awesomeness of Erebus pulling this off. Nanuk crosses his arms and seems even more convinced Erebus is definitely going to die. Kara saunters over with a challenging gleam in her violet eyes, and loans Erebus a drop item they''d gotten earlier: a still-white Cap that increases Strength and/or Damage Output every time it turns a shade darker. The wearer must defeat enemies and touch the hat to their bleeding corpses, which is tricky to manage before the System disintegrates the dead mobs into blue dust. "Bring it back bloody," she says in a sultry, low voice. "It would be my pleasure," Erebus replies, tipping the hat to her with a slight bow. The heated look he gives her makes some viewers think blood-soaked gear is not the only pleasure he has on his mind. Nightfury simply unequips his bow and pops a squat on a piece of rubble, content to watch Erebus kick ass and take names all on his lonesome. "Not gonna wuss out, are ya?" he asks idly, ying with a dagger and not even looking up at the D''Raven. "Fuck no," the D''Raven denies. Then he rolls his neck and shoulders, unsheathes his twin daggers, and dashes off to prove it. --- It''s.amazing. Viewers find themselves rewatching this battle sequence over and over in awe. Barely an hour after this video is released, there are already videos breaking down the moves and tactics second by second, as if this is a How To video for being fucking awesome in every way. His swirling ck tattoo moves to cover half his face, writhing and pulsing like inked battle fury, and his eyesone silver, one inky ckmatch his gleaming des. Raven feathers shine as he fights, hurtling and twisting through the air in a disy of winged acrobatics shocking to the viewers. He quickly determines the attack patterns of the redcaps and alternates between sliding underneath and leaping over scythe shes, with a few Blocks and Parries thrown in, and several sweeping kicks to knock over his attackers. He even manages sideways leaps that pass him through two swinging des with bare centimeters to spare on either side,nding low and stabbing out with his twin des to attack both redcaps at the same time. It bes impossible to tell when he''s using real sword Skills or simply flowing into fauxbos using simple de non-Skill moves, since he uses cool shing Lux effects to coincide with his attacks and stir the redcaps into a frenzy (and confuse the viewers.) Plus, he often uses hand-signs to auto-sheathe his daggers and draw his exploding dart and his crossbow, as if he''s not satisfied with the insane amount of damage he causes with just his des. One of the fan videos of this battle has a useful Kill Streak Counter running on-screen, so it''ster realized he hits a 30-kill streak in mere minutes. The Cap sitting jauntily on his head is already scarlet, and a single drip of blood streaks down his face, making him look even more terrifying. At this point, there''s finally some room to maneuver between the final 50 mobs, and he whispers some unknown spell that encases him in a shroud of darkness. His speed increased beyondprehension, he zooms around the room still inside his shadow cloud, trailing shes of shadow as he weaves between mobs. He kills another ten redcaps and triggers the next stage of attack. As if he already knows what''sing, Erebus freezes in the center of the room and gazes up. At this point, the redcaps are insane with rage, and they start using their stone magic to drop hunks of ceiling and the stone walls at the D''Raven. He grins, as if he''s been waiting all along for this horrifying turn of events and yells out a Taunt that attracts everyst mob. Because, you know, falling boulders aren''t enough of a challenge on their own. He deftly Dodges the stones falling around him, but the redcaps are not so lucky. As they rush towards him in a battle-crazed horde, spurred on by his Taunt, they run into the shadow shes around the room. The shes don''t Stun them for long, but it''s long enough to ensure several mobs are crushed by falling rocks. As the final redcaps converge on him, Erebus stalls for time by swapping out his des for arge, two-handed scythe of his own, which he ms into the ground, releasing an AoE attack that knocks all the nearest redcaps back. He swaps back to his des and stops bothering to Dodge, activating a short-term Invincibility Skill that encases him in a protective glow. Scythe des bounce off with a ng, and the boulders break upon impact. Disregarding all of it, the D''Raven raises his brilliant silver-white de and calls up a Skill many viewers recognize as the one he''d almost used against the Woman in White. Then the camera zooms in on his smirking face as a giant, blinding white sword appears in the air directly above his own head. He turns to wink at his Party members, then the swordes crashing down in a ze of brilliance, and not even the advanced Vir-Tech recording system can filter through the light to reveal the attack. The video makes up for it, though, when the light dissipates and the dust clears; the camera pans wide to highlight the full devastation wreaked by a single D''Raven. Then the back wall rumbles, revealing therge, ominous Boss Door, and the D''Raven''s face lights up in victory. ------------ RELATED COMMENTS Thokk: WHAT THE HELL IS EVEN THAT?!? HOW IS THIS D''RAVEN DOING ANY OF THIS? Karasu: how the fuck does he do this aerialbat shit? I tried to just WALK with my wings out yesterday and got so angry, I had toy down and count to ten --- Takeshi: ^i had the same reaction, but it was less a decision to lie down and more "oh fuck, i''ve facented for the twentieth time, fuck this, i guess i''m just part of the ground now" --- Karasu: whY DoEs tHe GRoUnd TaSTe LIkE reAl DiRT?!? --- Takeshi: whYYYYYY?!?! n a s t y --- UnDead Itachi: Seriously, does anyone ying D''Raven or Valkyrie (other than these crazy ass Chaos Party members) know how to use their wings yet? I literally cannot kill even a slime with my wings out. --- Odin''sEyeball: Valkyrie here. And, uh, no. Oh Ur Dead: I call BULLSHIT on all this! no way he soloed the antechamber --- Hey!des: agreed! fake! --- Kara Geir: I can assure you it absolutely happened. We didn''t even edit it. --- Taliesin: I don''t post fake vids, bruhs --- Nanuk: Are you disparaging my baby brother''s talents, calling him a liar!? [(^)] --- Nightfury: i was there. it''s real, all right. just look at the shit-eating smirk on that asshole''s face? u can''t fake that. --- Erebus: || --- Nightfury: | | --- MOD BOD: Hello, GM here! We can absolutely assure all viewers that there is no way to "fake" an official Viren''s Refuge video. This video has been verified, as made clear by the official mark next to the title. Everything present in the video is 100% real! --- Taliesin: :P --- BallBreaker: whatever. OP weapons did all the work. no skill involved. luck and broken des --- Shadeyer: *yawn* jealous losersshing out, how boring Here.For.It: omg tsundere nightfury *believing* in his man and giving him all the encouragement he needs #eury --- MorticiaDamns: uhhh kara whispered a challenge directly into erebus''s ear, gave him a present, and looked him up and down like she wanted to eat him alive #karebus --- SoullessButHappy: if watching sexual tension could get people pregnant, we''d all be popping out triplets in 9 months #karebus Kvasir: if erebus had sex with my girlfriend, I''d be jealous of her --- gratuitousgigi: honestly, same. and i''m a lesbian SummerHugs: Eeek! Erebus calling Taliesin "Little Dude" and that hair ruffle!? I''m dead. --- lil stevo: i can''t get over the fact Erebus gave Taliesin free rein to lead the next battle, and he''s just "You do it! Yay!" --- kittkatt: #friendgoals #brotha from anotha motha goals Awesomesauce: @13:31 noob move, bruh --- Bowjob: like you could fucking do that move --- Awesomesauce: fuck no I don''t even know what move that was --- Kvasir: BIG MOOD Chapter 81: Erebus Yeets Shit Chapter 81: Erebus Yeets Shit BEHIND THE SCENES BEFORE THE BOSS (Erebus POV) ''Hey Nova AI, I''d like to use my Chaos Incarnate Title ability, if you''re down.'' I only have to wait a few seconds to hear that ethereal sunshine voice in my mind. {In what capacity?} ''Sooo, I may have announced I could beat this Boss blindfolded'' I think I hear an amused giggle from the AI, but I can''t be positive. I decide to believe it definitely didn''t happen because the alternative freaks me out too much. {Ahem. Request granted. Gear may be torn to create scrap material of appropriate length; then may be equipped as a BLINDFOLD and will Blind wearer. Side Effect: If wearer has Perception +20, Perception will temporarily Increase by 5% for all other sensory input.} I shiver in excitement. It''s even better than I could have hoped. I send up my thanks to the Nova AI and turn to Kara. I return her now-crimson cap. It fits like a woven slouch beanie, and she looks so adorable, my heart stops. I nned to jokingly smush it on her head, but my grip softens, and instead, I end up gently tugging it down before brushing a few soft tendrils of hair out of her face. Her coral cheeks color prettily. "You did pretty okay, Erebus." "You are pretty, Kara Geir," I tell her honestly. "And I''m pretty fly for a white guy," Nanuk interjects. "How wonderful for us all. Now, if we could be moving on" Coughing, I force myself to remember we''re in the middle of a deadly dungeon. Then I make a mental note to swap Nanuk out for my #1 WingWoman Jade Thorn as soon as possible. I step away from Kara and clear my throat. "You, uh, have a +2 PER talisman, right?" Without even asking why I need it, she calls it out of storage and passes it to me. My smile is genuine when I equip it, officially moving myself to Perception +20. ''Thanks,'' my eyes say. ''Any time,'' her bright eyes reply. With a deep breath, I hop up onto a piece of rubble and exin to everyone what''s going on. "I''ve recentlyuhdiscovered a game secret." I turn to the ''camera,'' which really just means I face the air and hope the game recorder auto-focuses on me. "Let''s just say I wasn''t kidding when I said I could beat this Boss blindfolded." Smirking, I wink obnoxiously at the viewers, knowing there''s no better way to piss off everyone who died in this Dungeon yesterday. There''s a surprised beat, then all four of my Party members burst outughing. Even Nanuk finally seems to understand my level of insanity, and though he''s shaking his head like I''m a crazy person, he''s alsoughing in anticipation of the shitshow Boss Battle I''m about to show the world. "You are a crazy motherfucker," Nightfury wheezes. "Thank you!" I grin and strike my Captain Underpants pose. Clutching his stomach, Nightfuryughs even harder and mutters something that sounds awfully like, "What a bloody jackass," but I''m sure I misheard. I jump down and skip over to the Draegkyn, then pull out a dagger. Mimicking the time Karazily traced my Windflower emblem with a de, I raise the dagger to Nightfury''s tunic. Then I flutter my eyshes and step even closer. That cuts off hisughter real quick. "I need material for the blindfold. Care to do the honors? Bet you''ll look all sexy fighting the final boss in an artfully torn tunic, rippling muscles and shining dragon scales on view for the world to see," I boldly flirt. All the blood drains from Nightfury''s face, and he chokes. Somewhere behind me, Kara''s losing it with the cutest giggles I''ve ever heard. That seems to snap Nightfury out of his shock, and he shakily points. "Why not her? Isn''t it usually the badass hot chick who ends up half-naked during battle sequences?" Visions of Kara fighting in a tight, ripped shirt distract me from any further mental processes for a full ten seconds. Kara''s voice brings me out of my reverie. "Aww Nightfury! You think I''m badass?" She''s teasing, but she sounds genuinely surprised, which makes all four of us guys share a look. "Kara, you literally kick ass. Constantly," Nightfury replies. "You''re so natural in your Valkyrie avatar I legit sometimes think you''re a mythical Norse warriore to life," Taliesin adds. Nanuk, Nightfury, and I nod in agreement. She opens her mouth to tease us, but seems at a loss for words. I can tell she''s pleased, though, in the way she half-smiles fondly. Then she remembers what started thispliment fest, and she narrows her glittering eyes at Nightfury. "Guess you''re the badass hot chick today, friend. There will be no ripping my clothes, artful or otherwise." Nightfury gulps at the murderous glint in her expression, and nods before he fully thinks it through. I shoot Kara a huge grin, then tug on Nightfury''s shirt and sh. "Hey!" he cries, rmed, but it''s toote. "You needed better gear anyway," I console him, holding the red-violet scrap. "I''ll have Arachne give you a discount." Taliesin cheers and bounds over to the giant Boss Door. "Great! Let''s do this!" ---------- |[ VIDEO ]| "Let''s just say I wasn''t kidding when I said I could fight this Boss blindfolded." By the time the Boss fight rolls around, no one watching is even surprised when the video cuts to Erebus making an insane im while standing atop rubble. In fact, the only aspect of this entire ridiculous n anyone does find surprising, is that Nightfury seems self-conscious after his shirt is shed. With ripped abs like that, 100% of viewers agree that the Draegkyn has exactly ZERO reasons to be concerned. The smattering of scarlet dragon scales arranged in an interesting design along his torso only add to the overall effect. Regardless, when Erebus flirtatiously asks Nightfury to do the honors of tying on the blindfold, the Draegkyn instead whacks Erebus across the head and stomps off in a huff, causing the D''Raven to turn to Kara with a wounded expression on his tattooed face. "Why do you think Nightfury is ying so hard to get?" Erebus asks in a petnt whine. Kara snorts. "It doesn''t even ur to you he legit hates your guts, does it?" Erebus frowns for a millisecond, as if deep in thought, then shakes his head. "Can''t be," he responds seriously, then grins. "I''m delightful." And with that, he equips the blindfold himself and dashes off to kick ass. The Final Boss is Baron Reb, the redcap who rules over the Hermitage Castle ruins. His hat is soaked in the blood of 10,000 men, and has be a red so dark, it appears ck. Unlike the Normal and Hard Mode Baron, Nightmare Mode Baron Reb uses Blood Magic attacks, on top of his huge ancient scythe and the stone magic all redcaps are known for. The battle is exactly as insane as one might expect. Every few minutes, falling boulders act as chamber traps. Somehow, the entire Chaos Party figures out the pattern for the falling stones within the first two seconds of the very first attack, and no one takes more than minimal damage, which Nanuk Heals easily. Erebus discovers the cheat for the trap even while blindfolded; the boulders don''t fall on the Boss. As soon as Taliesin calls out the first warning, the D''Raven mad dashes to the stomping Boss and mbers up him like he''s climbing a very ugly tree. He takes damage because the Boss''s vibrations count as attacks, but he sinks his dark de into the Redcap''s upper back to hold on, and has plenty of time to drink a health potion while he rides out the storm. Kara immediately grasps the true usefulness of this positioning and sends battlemands to everyone in the Party, even while dodging flying rocks. Like she anticipated, the second the boulder attack ends and the Boss stops stomping, he''s frozen for a second by the end-of-attack bacsh. "NOW!" she cries, and Erebus immediately unleashes a flurry of attacks from behind the Baron while the others attack the front. Right before the Boss gets his movement ability back, Erebus and Kara coordinate to sh at the Boss''s ankles from the front and back simultaneously. Nanuk and Nightfury also coordinate and hit the Baron in the forehead with a boomerang and a triple-arrow shot at the same time. Also at the same time, Taliesin leaps off Kara''s back to fling directly into the Boss''s chest. [FULL-PARTY COORDINATED STRIKE! COMBO EFFECT TRIPLED!] All five attacksnd perfectly, and the Boss falls dramatically to the floor. Kara reaches between the Boss''s feet to grab Erebus''s outstretched arm and slide him through the Baron''s legs before he''s crushed under the Boss''s weight. "Damn." Nightfury sighs as Kara and Erebus leap up, unharmed, ck and white wings wrapped around each other. "It would have been hrious if he outmaneuvered every attack blindfolded, then died, smushed by giant redcap ass." ssic Nightfury. After another round of furious attacks by the Chaos Party, the Boss finally lumbers to his feet and begins a series of scythe attacks. His Party-Wipe AoE attacks are the most dangerous, but all five Party members see theming in plenty of time to dodge. The others stop bothering to warn Erebus after the first two times, when they realize he''s actually moving to safety a half-second before they are. When pressed, Erebus simply says he can hear the attack changeing. "Why, can''t you?" he asks, as if it''s the most obvious thing in the world. From the looks on the rest of his Party''s faces, the answer is definitely "No." "Obviously we can," they all reply. After the Boss finally dips into the Red Zone of his HP, the Final Stage begins. Atst, the Boss switches from stone attacks to Blood Magic. With one wed hand, he mystically pulls blood from his cap and shoots droplets of blood like crimson bullets. No matter how good Erebus is, he has no way to dodge this attack. In fact, none of them see iting, since it''s not an attack this Boss ever used in the beta. But that doesn''t matter to Chaos Party. The second the first droplets appear in the air, Taliesin and Kara wordlessly grab Erebus and throw him back toward the ranged fighters. Then they dive behind boulders and swap out their weapons for shields. Nightfury snags Erebus out of the air and hauls him to the ground, then dives over the D''Raven. Erebus instinctively wraps his ck wings around both of them and flips them over. Nanuk''s only Shield skill is a personal one, so he protects himself, then keeps watch, the only party member with an unobstructed view. He calls out instructions and warnings to everyone as the Blood attacks fly, and right before a series of blood bullets hit the two encased in raven wings, he shouts and Erebus activates his three-second Invincibility. It doesn''tst quite long enough, but after a few seconds of being pummeled by blood bullets, Nightfury rolls them over again and takes the final round of attacks. When the bullets stop zooming through the air, everyone in the Chaos Party has amazingly survived. Of course, then Erebus leans up and whispers something to Nightfury, and the red-faced Draegkyn almost ruins all their good work by trying to murder his teammate. Laughing, Erebus tosses Nightfury atop a boulder and escapes his grasp to race back to continue the attacks on the Boss. Enraged that his attack failed to kill the intruders, the Boss siphons even more blood from his cap and creates a whip capable of wide AoE attacks. Unfortunately for the Boss, as soon as Taliesin tells Erebus what''s happening, the D''Raven gets a look on his face that should honestly scare the Boss away. "Leeroyyyy Jenkins!" Erebus yells, forcing the Boss to face his direction. Then he uses what seems to be a Crowd Control spell that sends ominous fog flowing out from his fingertips and slows down the Boss''s movements. As he moves fluidly to attack, Erebus somehow seems far more terrifying a monster than the Baron himself. Because the Boss wields his blood whip in his right hand, he''s forced to hold his two-handed scythe only his bloody left w. Erebus leaves shadow slices all throughout the fog, and the second the Boss hits one and cries out, Erebus uses his insane reflexes and a well-ced FangBite to the wrist to disarm the Boss. He hand-signs his dual des away and hefts the giant scythe, only to spin around, then swing up and attack the Boss''s unguarded groin. The Boss actually flies up into the air, so Erebus throws the scythe up to hit the Boss AGAIN, knocking him even further back, to where Kara is ready to impale the Boss on her spear as hends, before flinging him to the ground. Taliesin is in his demon goat shift, prepared to ram the Boss''s face with his curled demonic horns, and the ranged attackersnd a series of hits. Finally, Erebus raises his gleaming silver-white sword into the air and calls forth his most impressive attack. The blinding white sword of justice rains down and spears the Boss in a massive explosion, and thest of the Boss''s HP disappears. ------------ RELATED COMMENTS Lis: HOLY BEJEEBUS THAT BOSS FIGHT THO --- Shadeyer: AHHHHHHHHHh --- Kane: AHHHHH +1000 --- Pauli the Pu`ca: AHHHH +Infinity WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK WAS THAT?! God: Chaos Party is Perfect Party --- zing Fists: *nods furiously* --- Kvasir: God has spoken Truth. rickroller: If my whack ass Party had to fight this whack ass dungeon, we''d ff at 15* --- Odin''sEyeball: hell, my Party wouldn''t evenst fifteen minutes before wiping out, so we''d have no need to forfeit Here.For.It: I would like to thank Erebus for showing us the glory that is Nightfury''s abs, and also Zhao Jianyu for inventing this game, and also Jesus because seeing Erebus rip Nightfury''s clothes off was a religious experience #blessed --- F3AR R3AP3R: #BLESSED AF --- Erebus: You''re so very wee. ck Stabbath: I think a better title for this whole vid would be "Erebus Yeets Shit" --- MothaEffinOedipus: I stg an epic-tier dragon could show up and erebus would be like "sweet, hidden boss. lemme just *yeets exploding dart*" --- Kvasir: yeah and then *miraculouslynds Hidden Epic Critical Hit of Epess, insta-kills dragon* and Erebus would shrug and be like "I 100% did that on purpose. You''re wee." --- Ivan the Tolerable: LiveStream Drinking Game: Take one drink every time Erebus yeets a weapon, take one shot every time he yeets a Boss, and every time he yeets Nightfury, drink for as long as Nightfury sighs while sailing through the air --- Kvasir: we''re defintely going to die. i''m in. --- Erebus: ooh, i''m in, i''m in! --- Nightfury: don''t. you. dare. --- Erebus: yeet yeet mothafuckaaaa Chapter 82: Slap Happy Chapter 82: p Happy When we materialize outside the Dungeon, Nanuk asks me to swipe open the Contribution Chart and make it visible to everyone, so we can take turns splitting the goodies. His ice-blue eyes are practically screaming, "LOOTLOOTLOOT," and I realize that even though he may seem stoic and unreadable, at heart, he''s just a gamer freak like the rest of us. (He just also probably knows how to pay taxes like a real grown-up.) "Ughhh what''s the point in even checking? We all know that bird bastard scored the highest Contribution," Nightfury grumbles. He shoots a re at Taliesin. "Somebody just HAD to let him solo the Antechamber." Taliesin jumps up, hands on my shoulders, and does a handstand above me in his excitement. "And wasn''t it AWESOME?!" I indulgently pat one of Taliesin''s hands and make no move to dislodge the hyperactive acrobat. I smirk at Nightfury. "Obviously I''m first, but aren''t you the tiniest bit curious who''s in second? Or are you worried the others beat you, too, so you don''t want to verify your suckitude?" "Like Hell!" Nightfury snaps, then he swipes open the Contribution Chart before I can. [Hermitage Ruins - Nightmare Mode] -PLAYER CONTRIBUTION RANKINGS- NAME 1) Erebus 2) Kara Geir 3) Taliesin 4) Nightfury 5) Nanuk "Apparently Nanuk shouldn''t have been so excited to check..." I choke and stare wide-eyed at Kara. For once, I wasn''t the one to make the most asshole-ishment! I love her. Nanuk looks shocked by his rank, and his expression turns pained when Taliesin tries to make him feel better: "Not your fault, Nan. Erebus is so good he barely needs Healing, and Kara and I were up front dealing so much damage, we didn''t need you much." It''s worse because Taliesin thinks he''s being helpful. Huddling together, Kara and I turn away so Nanuk won''t see usughing. Poor guy''s had it rough enough already. If I were truly a good person, I would interject here and remind everyone that Nanuk''s Contribution is actually still impressive, and the difference between 2nd and 5th in terms of Earned EXP is only 20k points. (Naturally, I earned almost 750k more EXP than anyone else, but I also had the Party Leader Bonus, got to solo an Antechamber, and I earned double EXP for fighting blindfolded. Thatst bonus was a nice surprise, and one I made sure to brag about on camera. Partially because I live to piss people off, but mostly because I''m sure it''ll make a ton of people try fighting blindfolded, and I can''t wait to see the Epic Fails Comptions. Hehe.) Honestly, the only reason Nanuk''s score was so low is because he is so good. A true supporter, he knows that even when everything seems to be going smoothly, a single surprise attack from a mob or a slow defensive maneuver from a Party member can mean certain death if the support yers aren''t keeping back and keeping an eye on everything at once. He kept his DPS (damage per second) up well with his magic attacks and boomerang hits, but he never used more than half his SP during any battle, so he''d have enough to Heal if needed. Plus, from the way he holds his ivory staff, I''m fairly certain he has strong melee skills too, but he knew better than toe in close, since the three of us were more than capable of dealing melee damage. He might be in 5th ce overall, but honestly, given the raid we just ran,st ce simply proves he deserves the top-tier ranking he had back in the beta. I need to keep an eye on this guy. --- It doesn''t take Nanuk long to tamp down his disappointment and refocus on the more important point at hand: it''s Split the Loot time! He shows me how to consolidate all the loot from the entire dungeon into a single Battle Log that I can then make visible to everyone. Taliesin turns off the camera for this part, obviously. The world knows too many of our secrets as it is. And speaking of secrets, Taliesin wastes no time in revealing his biggest one to Nightfury. "Ex-fucking-caliber?!" "Dude, right? That''s exactly what I said," I say. The Draegkyn shoves me away. "You have no room to talk. You have upgradable weapons too!" "Well, yeah." Nightfury grinds his teeth, but Nanuk cuts off any further fighting by exining his brother''s main point. When Taliesin hit Level 10 while we were out adventuring, he was able to ess the Upgrade Requirements for his Legendary Sword. This Dungeon dropped almost half of what he needs. He also managed to snag the Boss''s Scythe after I threw it, and consume it as an upgrade material. Taliesin offers to pass up all his picks if he can just have the parts he needs for Excalibur. It doesn''t follow our Contribution deal, but since his sword mostly needs random monster parts and simr drops, rather than high-level equipment or gear, he actually loses out in the long run. "Eh, I don''t think that''s fair," I say, frowning. "If the kid''s going to immediately break the deal, I want to as well." Nanuk shoots me a surprised look. I exin that I want all the recipes and crafting designs, but I don''t want to lose all my main picks for them. "Does anyone else really want any of the items Taliesin needs? Or any of the designs? No one else has anything important to upgrade, and no one has any of the Lifestyle Skills required to craft anything." "Sure, but they''re still worth money," Nightfury replies. "Exactly! You just want them to sell them. How about we save you the trouble of finding buyers? Taliesin will buy out all the parts he needs for Excalibur, I''ll buy out all the recipes and designs, everyone else can share the money, and we can focus on splitting the rest of the loot!" Kara and Nanuk readily agree, but Nightfury looks ufortable. "I mean, that seems fair, but how could it work? You''d need to pay at least a few gold apiece for everything." "Deal!" Taliesin cheerily replies. We each withdraw 6 gold, and split it evenly between the other three. If Nightfury was surprised at having two party members with perpetually upgradable weapons, he''s downright dumbfounded now. "How the HELL do you both have that much gold just lying around?!" Taliesin and I shrug, then with matching grins, collect our prizes. While we''re at it, I go ahead and divvy up the money earned from the dungeon raid and all the other small drops (like monster parts, Wraith Remnants, HP and SP refill items, etc.) Plus we collected about 50 low-tier weapons (scythes and daggers mostly) and an assortment of repeated low-tier gear too underleveled to be useful to us, so I split all that evenly, too. Once everyone has time to look over the remaining offerings, I start us off by selecting an item that enhances Quick Healing spells. Nanuk immediately objects. I smirk at him. "Too bad, Mr. Last Pick. Guess I sniped what you wanted most." Unimpressed, he just gives me a t stare. "Shove it. You''re just pretending to be a petty asshole now so no one will know you''re being nice." My smirk falters in my shock. "WHAT?!" Kara rolls her eyes and Nightfury sighs. "Like we can''t tell the difference, dumbass," Nightfury says. "You said it yourself. You''re a pompous ass and think you''re better than God, but you''re not a dick." "Only some Gods..." I mutter defensively. Taliesin snorts. "It''s for Lis, right," Nanuk says, and it''s not even a question. How in the Nine Hells did they figure that out? "You don''t have to give up your first round pick for him," he continues. "I''m not heartless. There are only two Healer items. If we both want the same one, I''ll roll him for it when we meet upter and loser will take the other." "Moving on," Taliesin says, gesturing for me to choose a different item. He''s using Excalibur to point at various drop items he thinks I might want like an old school teacher using a meter stick to point at a ckboard. Based on his expression, he also could tell what I was up to. Seriously. What. The. Hell. Flustered, I select the +3 Fortitude Talisman from the Woman in White. It''s a lock of hair from her deceased son. (Her special mystery quest involved figuring out what happened to him, finding his body, and releasing his trapped soul so he could be reunited with his mother. Taliesin was sobbing by the end, and the rest of us honestly weren''t faring much better. Nightfury made sure to tell the kid to edit that part out of the highlight reel.) When I add the hair to my Inventory, obviously next to the bloody hand and the Banshee eyeball, I feel a strange resonanceing from all three of them. I don''t have time to investigate right now, but I make a mental note to check it outter. More importantly, I get the notification that I''ve unlocked the FOR +20 berserk skill! [Secret Skill Unlocked!] [Adrenaline Spike (Lvl 1): For the warrior too stubborn to die quietly! This skill can only be Activated in the Red Zone. Doubles Stamina and Increases Strength by 10% for 90 seconds. Warning: While skill is active, you will be immune to Heals or Health Replenishment Items, so don''t bother wasting them. Once skill ends, you will enter a Severely Weakened State for 2 minutes] [First Unlock Bonus: For being the first yer to unlock this Hidden Attribute skill, +2 Fortitude, +25,000 EXP] Hmm... I didn''t get that bonus notification when I unlocked my Hidden Perception skills. I wonder if that means someone out there already has higher PER than me and beat me to them. I''ve actually been curious about the algorithm ever since I realized Taliesin and I started out with Godly Luck and Charisma, respectively. Maybe two other lucky souls were randomly selected to start off with insanely high Perception and Fortitude. If so, Fortitude Dude must not have high enough PER to view his Hidden Attributes yet; you can''t officially unlock the secret skills until you can Perceive the Hidden Attributes the skills belong to. ...Guess I better keep grinding for Fortitude by fighting in the Red Zone, just in case. I might be able to unlock the next two FOR secret skills before mystery yer hits Perception +15. "I hate that face you''re making," Nightfury groans and tries to shoot me in the head. "What face?" I ask as I deflect the arrow. "The ''I''m About to Screw Over an Unsuspecting Fool'' face. You look damn giddy at the prospect. It''s not decent, you arse." "I thought you all said I was ''nice'' like a second ago." I shudder. Nanuk huffs. "We said we can tell the difference between when you''re *actually* being an incorrigible ass" "which is most of the time," Nightfury adds. "and when you''re just *acting* like a twatwaffle because you''re too emotionally stunted to know how to express yourself," Kara finishes. I''m horrified. Taliesin shifts into a Goat Demon to be tall enough to pat my shoulder consolingly. That''s even more horrifying. Then two tar-ck hands pat my back, one pats my other shoulder, and one pats my head, and my poor emotionally-stunted brain can''t take anymore of this. I instinctively bust out my Hysterical p Combo skill. A familiar deep, rumbling chuckle fills the air at the same time I get the notification I cannot harm an Immortal Object. Dread pools in my stomach, and I look up to see the rest of my Party staring at something behind me. Something terrifying, given their expressions. I slowly turn and confirm my worst fears. Anansi, the Spider Trickster God. I just pped a God. He raises all four arms and two of his legs, and I squeeze my eyes shut so I don''t have to watch the ending. I can''t even imagine what kind of horrible death I''ve earned. *Ding!* Unable to curb my gamer instinct, I can''t help but peek my eyes open at the notification sound. [Rare Title Acquired: Balls of Steel] Chapter 83: Ballsy Move, Bro Chapter 83: Ballsy Move, Bro {Aether Alert: Rare Title unlocked. You just pped a literal God. Damn, son. That''s even ballsier than most of the movesmitted by the yers who unlock this achievement. Congrats on surviving, you crazy clown!} [Rare Title Acquired: Balls of Steel] When life metaphorically kicks you in the nuts, your nuts kick back. || You''ve attempted the Impossible, ready to die if it all goes sideways. Like all great heroes from Legend, you did something stupid, and it was awesome, and that''s worth a lot in this world. Purely Passive Title. At all times, Title grants +2 Charisma and Increases Chance of Counterattack for all relevant Gear and Weapons by 3%. Title also minimizes Death Penalty if you die attempting a ballsy y. AI calctes "ballsy" as any action with [5% sess rate for average yers.|| ----- Anansi gives me time to skim my new Title beforeunching into his Congrattions for Clearing a Nightmare Mode Dungeon spiel. I''m starting to think he might appear every time a Nightmare Mode First Clear happens, though I can''t be sure. Tricksters are notorious for never giving straight answers. Finally, he reaches the end of prepared speech and gets to the important bit: "Since you have already epted my Tumult in the Realms Quest, I shall grant you a special boon. For your reward this time, I offer a choice. You may choose a Random Item or a single piece of Information." "We aren''t getting the LiveStream capability?" Taliesin asks, disappointed. Anansi smiles his pointed, toothy grin at him. Taliesin squeaks and shifts into a shadow cat. "All yers will be granted that ability, thanks to your efforts, so it does not count as your personal reward. Any future Nightmare Mode Dungeon raid can be LiveStreamed by anyone, including your Chaos Party. Now, choose. Item or Information. Discuss amongst yourselves, but only the Party Leader may make the final decision." I''ve already made up my mind before we even start talking it out. Kara and Nanuk agree with mepletely, but Nightfury and Taliesin seem disappointed when I tell them I vote for Information. Items are cool and all, but a) I don''t like the sound of "random" when I''m involved. (Nightfury fiddles with his ugly pink hat and sighs. After experiencing the effects of my shite Luck firsthand, he can''t argue with that.) b) It''s Information from the God of Storytelling himself! He literally travels the entire World Tree collecting tales about the Tumult in the Realms and any other interesting tidbit that strikes his fancy. We could have the very essence of the game at our fingertips here. "Then what should we ask?" Nightfury looks thoughtful. "Quest secrets? Realm spoilers?" "Maybe how the Mythic Rankings are going to be determined?" Nanuk offers. I shake my head. "I have a question in mind. I''m pretty sure it''s the right one." "How sure?" Kara asks. "More sure than I was when I kicked a dragon, less sure than when I said I''d fight a Boss blind." To my surprise, this seems to satisfy everyone. Once everyone nods, I turn back to Anansi. He''s still half-naked, only wearing his orange toga-sarong silky fabric thing, and his limbs are spread in a variety of directions. "We choose Information." His answering smile cuts wide across his face and sends shivers down my spine, but I can tell he''s pleased with our choice. Whether or not that''s good news for us, I can''t say. He spreads all four arms. "Ask any question, and if it is within my power to answer, I will." This is where my gamblees in. I cross my fingers and think ballsy thoughts. "What is the one piece of information you believe we most need to know right now?" There''s a sharp breath of surprise from Nanuk, and Nightfury mutters, "Ballsy move, Boxers Bro." Anansi''s arms writhe into new positions and his body ripples in excitement. His glittering ck eyes gleam at me. I gulp and reach behind me on instinct. A soft but strong hand grips mine. Kara''s strength gives me strength, and I manage not to cry when Anansi licks his lips. Then he begins speaking, and I''m too shocked to be afraid. "The Realms hold many secrets, but one above all others matters most to you in this moment," Anansi deres. Then he goes on in mystical, flowery gamenguage and blows all of our minds. In in English, this is what he tells us: The Tumult in each Realm stems from the fact that there are TWO Main Storyline Quests for each Realm. And the two MSQs are in perfect Opposition. In each Realm, two rival factions stir up conflict, and as yersplete quests, they are inadvertently helping one faction or the other. yers leading the Main Storyline Quests change the Fate of the Realm because those quests determine which Faction starts the Final Realm Battle in the lead. THIS IS HUGE. Realm Battles were not a thing in the beta! Anansi doesn''t give us any real info on the battles, but we''ve all yed enough MMOs to have a solid idea. I''d guess everyst yer, from the most hardcore to the most casual, will be required to participate and choose a side. Except some yers, like us, won''t be able to choose in the end. We''ve alreadypleted the first leg of a MSQ, so we''ve already chosen our side. Because I saved Baby Lugh, we''re on the side of the Tuatha de Danann. The Fae People. And if we want to make sure our side has a leg up when the Final Battle begins, we have toplete our MSQ before the Party leading the other sidepletes the parallel MSQ. Furthermore, because the MSQs are so influential to the Realm plot, at a certain point, one line of the MSQ gets cut off, and only the leading MSQ can be 100%pleted and signal the Realm Battle Beginning. At the end, Anansi tells me the worst possible news: another Party has already started the parallel Main Storyline Quest. If they get too far ahead of us, we''ll never be able to finish all the Chains of our quest line. "Is it part of the same information if I ask which Party?" I ask boldly. Anansi grins wickedly. "Polemos, Loimos, Limos, and Thanatos. The Four Horsemen Party." AHHH HELL NAH. I fucking knew it. I draw Zen''aku and go through my sword forms, thinking furiously. Anansi quietly watches me, but I''m so focused, I don''t notice his intense gaze. I also barely notice when onest mischievous smile twists across his face, and with a snap of his fingers, he disappears. "Good luck, Erebus, Hero of the Realms," his whispery voice echoes even after he''s gone. My Party''s used to weird shit like this happening around me by now, so when it''s clear I''m going to be busy for a bit, they getfortable on various bits of rubble while I think and mutter to myself. This changes everything. I don''t want any Party to beat us and destroy our quest line, but I ESPECIALLY don''t want it to be those apocalyptic rank-crazy fuckers. At the same time, I absolutely MUST clear a third Nightmare Mode Dungeon and open the Teleportation Portals, or I''ll lose all the nning I went through with Alfryd, Arachne, and Vulcan. Plus, who knows how much Reputation I''d lose among the NPCs if I didn''t keep my word. And they''re all in Tara, which means they''re all Tuatha, which means losing their Reputation points might negatively impact my MSQ anyway. Plus, we stand to make a fortune by being the first to run a Nightmare Mode LiveStream, but if we take too long before we do the dungeon run, another team could do the First LiveStream instead. We really need to use the momentum while we have it. The good news is that Anansi made it pretty clear the Horsemen have no idea they''re even on a MSQ. They stumbled across the small opening quest while grinding for levels. Makes sense; if Anansi hadn''t specifically brought me to that forest, I wouldn''t have known the [Find Baby Lugh] changeling quest was anything super important. What we need is to somehow divert Polemos and his crew''s attention away from their seemingly unimportant quest. I sincerely doubt anyone else is a threat to us, but the best case scenario would be to also divert the attention of every hardcore gamer in Viren''s Refuge all at the same time. But how? Deep in thought, I leap up onto a crumbling wall and look out over the vast ins surrounding Redcap Ruin. I''m surprised enough by what I see to snap out of my reverie. A few dozen yers are all crowded round, armed to the teeth, staring at the official Exit point of the Dungeon. Curious, I open the Hype Vid and scan thements. Sure enough, all these people are here to murder us. I''m impressed by my own assholery. Must be strong to bring out this many PKers and keep them here for hours while we have a merry old time clearing a Dungeon. I''m guessing there used to be a lot more, and they either got bored waiting or got worried when we kept not dying mid-dungeon. I turn to call a warning to my own Party, and I see Taliesin concentrating hard, editing our montage video, with input here and there from the others. And it hits me. I know just the thing to make all my dreams for todaye true. I just have to embrace my inner asshole and be more ballsy than I''ve ever been before. "Little Dude! Camera time! Everybody, weapons ready! We have onest section to shoot before we post the Highlight Reel!" Chapter 84: Karmas Only a Bitch if You Are Chapter 84: Karma''s Only a Bitch if You Are |[ VIDEO ]| The final section of the Redcap Dungeon Highlight Reel doesn''t take ce inside the actual dungeon. The video cuts from the moment Boss Baron Reb dies and opens on Erebus, standing on a stone wall high above an angry crowd. The rest of the Chaos Party stands behind him on the crumbling parapet, varying expressions on their faces. Kara Geir''s coral lips quirk into a smirking half-smile, Taliesin is beaming a 100-watt toothy grin, Nightfury looks bored and surly, and Nanuk is expressionless, mouth a thin line, blue-white eyes cold and stoic. Iridescent ck wings dramatically fanned out, Erebus spreads his arms as if weing the bloodthirsty mob below to his humble castle abode. "What a lovely surprise! So many of you came to congratte us on our legendary victory." One yer steps forward. He''s turned his floating yer tag to Visible, so everyone can see he''s Oh Ur Dead, a Lvl 9 Rakshasa. He spits, crimson face twisting in disgust. "Don''t misunderstand, you prick! We''re here to kick your ass, not kiss it!" Erebus pouts. "Too bad. With that long demon tongue, I bet you''d be great at" Nanuk karate chops Erebus in the side. "Finish that sentence in front of my baby brother, and I will literally kill you." Clutching his side, Erebus drops the fake pout immediately. "Sorry, Nanuk." Angry at being ignored, Oh Ur Dead raises his wed fist menacingly. "We saw your so-called hype video. You insulted every yer in this game," he growls. "So what if you survived your Dungeon run? Now you''re going to die anyway. Karma, bitch." The camera zooms in on Erebus as a dangerous grin stretches across his pale face. His shadowy tattoos flow across his cheek and forehead, and as he draws his dual des, one eye glints silver-white, and the other, chasm ck. A collective shiver races through every enemy standing in the shadow of the D''Raven. Most viewers watching from the safety of their homes instinctively back away from their screens. "Now you''re the one misunderstanding," Erebus says coolly, twirling his des. "Karma''s only a bitch if you are." He steps forward to the edge of the ruin wall, and as one, every yer in the angry mob instinctively steps back. The Rakshasa included. Oh Ur Dead''s even more furious when he realizes he backed down, so he raises his voice to rally his troops. "What are you all quivering like babies? It''s twenty against five!" "One." "What?" Oh Ur Dead whips his head to look up and see who spoke. "Twenty against one," Taliesin exins again, yawning. "We wouldn''t want to ruin Erebus''s fun." And with that, the rest of the Chaos Party takes a seat on the parapet, and Taliesin pulls out a deck of ying cards. "No fucking way," Oh Ur Dead protests. Erebus leaps off the high wall like a champion diver, flipping and twisting in the air. The Rakshasa doesn''t even have time to scream before Erebusnds a Fangbite on his broad demon shoulders. They''re face-to-face, daggers digging deep into the demon, and Erebus smirks. "Yes fucking way," he whispers, then head-butts Oh Ur Dead with enough strength to halve his remaining HP. The video then cuts back up to the ruin wall, where it stays on the Chaos Party ying a very intense game of Go Fish. Crashes, thumps, explosions, and various screams punctuate the air, and the wall shakes a few times, but none of Erebus''s party even bothers sparing the fight a nce. Right as Taliesin takes Nightfury''s Queen, and the Draegkyn threatens to rage quit for the third time, silence falls on the battlefield below. "Finally," Nightfury sighs, flinging his remaining cards. ----- Cut Scene to the Chaos Party posing on a rocky hill in the PvP zone right outside the Dungeon. Redcap Castle fills the background. Erebus stands in the middle of the group, with the others artfully arranged around him, almost like a band album cover. Nightfury''s sitting on a rock, lower than the others, hiding his face in shadow under his hat. His current sigh is a seamless transition from thest clip. Piled haphazardly below them? Twenty dead yers. Their bodies haven''t disintegrated yet because of one of the game''stest updates. Now, when yers die in-game, they have to wait 15 in-game minutes (5 minutes in real life) before they can Resurrect (respawn). During that time, the V-Haven pumps extra happy feel-good scents into their pods, and runs a diagnostic to make sure they''re mentally, emotionally, and physically okay. This hadn''t seemed necessary during the beta, but during the first day of the official game, many new yers had been unprepared for the drastic shock of the realistic deaths. Dying in virtual reality packs a significantly greater punch than dying on aputer screen from the safety of your own gaming chair. Psychologists on staff with Vir-Tech suggested the forced lock-out before Regen for two reasons: 1) It gives the V-Haven time to make sure a recently-killed yer is stable and ready to y again. If the yer''s elevated heart rate, adrenaline levels, etc, don''t go down, the V-Haven can force log him out into the Real World so his brain can fully ept he''s still alive. 2) 15 minutes of forced "time out," so to speak, is a harsh punishment for death that will make yers try harder not to die. Several mental health professionals have expressed concern about the mental and emotional toll repeated deaths within such a realistic game setting might cause, at least at first, before everyone''s brains have truly gotten used to VR. Once the yers have limated, the 15-minute Resurrection penalty might not be necessary anymore, but for now, the devs and psych staff are simply seeing what kind of effect this change has on the yers and on gamey itself. Under this update, when a yer dies, his avatar stays where it fell for those 15 minutes (unless someone moves the body, like Erebus''s party just did). This also makes it more difficult for the survivors to keep battling, since it''s like a real battlefield, where the fallen warriors get in the way and fill the space. When time''s up, the body disappears and Resurrects at the yer''sst Regen Save Point. This is usually in a Town/City, but there are exceptions. For example, when you die in a Dungeon, you Resurrect at the Dungeon Exit. If another Party member (who doesn''t die) knows a Revive Spell, a dead yer can be Resurrected right where he fell within those 15 minutes, but only if the yer''s "ghost" also stays nearby. The ghosts are small smoky wisps that float directly above the dead avatars. Ghost yers can''t hear, but they can see in gray-scale. There''s a spell for dispelling the ghosts, so the dead can''t spy after death, but no one''s learned it yet. Most of the ghosts from this battle have already chosen to go to their Regen Save Points, where they will be floating around for the next fifteen minutes. They probably don''t want to spend any more time with the crazy D''Raven than they have to. Plus, you can only ess the forums and in-game chat once you''ve left your avatar''s body behind. Oh Ur Dead, however, has chosen to remain. Erebus doesn''t seem to mind the spectralpany. In fact, he looks right at Oh Ur Dead''s ghost and grins. He pulls down his pants, moons him with his rose-covered boxers, and...twerks?! "Until next time," he croons at the ghost, then blows him a kiss. Nanuk and Kara karate chop Erebus at the same time. The pained grin on his face tells the viewers he absolutely thinks it was worth it. Erebus schools his expression back to his neutral smirk and stands straight, looking through the camera into the very souls of the viewers. "So now you''ve seen a glimpse of what we can do. If you want front-row seats and the ability to truly see how to beat a Nightmare Mode Dungeon, join us at 08:00 for the very first Viren''s Refuge LiveStream. We''ll be tackling ckguard Bog, which is, of course, child''s y for the Chaos Party, but others seem to struggle with it." He shrugs, like he can''t imagine why in the world anyone would find one of the most difficult Dungeons on Realm One hard to beat. "Most importantly, however, I think we''ve proven who the best party in Viren''s Refuge truly is. I''ve heard some plebs say the Four Horsemen Party is top of this game, since they stole so many First Clears yesterday." Erebus sneers, and the rest of his Party''s expressions range from unimpressed to disgusted. "Pathetic," he spits. "Polemos, Limos, Loimos, Thanatos. Hacks, the lot of you. Grabbing First Clears on Hard Mode? Anyone could do that! You''re not proving you have skills, you''re only proving you love stealing EXP from everyone else and that all you care about is Ranking." The camera zooms in on Erebus''s face, highlighting his t stare. "Again, I say, pathetic." The camera zooms back out, taking in the body pile, the dark castle in the background, and the Chaos Party, looking stronger than ever. "Since we''ve so graciously provided everyone in the game the opportunity to LiveStream, we''re issuing a challenge. Four Horsemen, you want to prove you''re more than hack Rankers? LiveStream yourselves attempting a Nightmare First Clear. ckguard Bog. We''ll give you until 08:00 to get over there. Both of our Parties will start at the same time, and it''ll be a race to the First Clear. If you don''t show, the world will know why." He silently mouths the word "pathetic" onest time. Then the camera moves to Taliesin. "Ossa from Ossa''s Insights will be hosting an official online gambling den for this uing event! In-game currency and Federation Credits both epted. Click the link in the video description for more details and to ce your bets. Do you think the Four Horsemen will show up or wuss out? Which Party is truly Number One in Viren''s Refuge? Will anyone be able to clear the toughest under-Lvl 15 Dungeon in the game in one shot? These bets and more, all avable on Ossa''s Insights!" Erebus spreads his wings and draws the camera back to center. "We are the Greatest. We know it, and soon, you will, too. And the world will see that the so-called Four Horsemen suffer from delusions of adequacy. Chaos Reigns Supreme." With that mic drop, the video freeze-frames and once again distorts and crackles, turning Erebus into a sci-fi work of art while the dead yers strewn at his feet be disjointed Picasso bodies. Another frenzied thrum of Taliesin''s lyre punctuates the audio, and the inky-ck jagged CHAOS REIGNS returns to the screen. Then the golden words "A Tales of Taliesin Production" flies across the video, and the screen goes entirely dark. A single line of white text appears in the center of the ck screen: "Chaos Party will Return. ckguard Bog Nightmare LiveStream. 08:00" ------------ RELATED COMMENTS Nobody: holy hells!! shit''s bout to GO DOWN Kvasir: "delusions of adequacy" omfgggg Thanathot: yooo @Polemos @Limos @Loimos @Thanatos y''all get a load of this shiz yet?!?! I_Am_Inevitable: Resurrect is 15 mins, right? and all the bodies were piled for thatst section...so moral of the story, erebus killed 20 yers in 15 minutes --- F3AR R3AP3R: less than 15. boi still had enough time to make a damn speech --- I_Am_Inevitable: fuck. hadn''t even thought of that Brian: OMG. Guys. Am I imagining this, or....is Erebus BOXERS BRO?!? --- Bowjob: No, BB was wearing different boxers earlier. --- Erebus: It is indeed I, Boxers Bro! The wonderful @Arachne at Silken Strands provided me with these brand new undershorts! --- MothaEffinOedipus: MOTHAEFFIN PLOT TWIST --- iboxersbro: !!!!!!!!!!!!! lil stevo: is that the One Punch Man theme "Hero" ying in the background while Erebus is beating up 20 dudes at once? --- Taliesin: --- lil stevo: boy, why you gotta be so extra i stg KaliSutra: we could fuel like 100 cities with the Power of Erebus''s Egoism Ash Ketchup: I bet erebus has a motivational ylist called "I''m Godly" that''s just Lizzo''s "Good as Hell" on repeat --- Erebus: *shares link to ylist ''Don''t Hate Me Cuz U Ain''t Me''* --- SoullessButHappy: ... this is literally 100% Lizzo, Beyonc, Queen, and battle anime OSTs --- Definitely Just a Swan: 100% unsurprised --- Harry''s Pot: ^^ same --- Thanathot: ^^^ --- Jade Thorn: ^^^^^^^^ --- notice_me_erebus_senpai: uh...i actually really like this ylist --- yourmomgavemehermes: MOOD. Kvasir: soooo...we all watching that livestream, right? --- Odin''sEyeball: fuck yes. --- MothaEffinOedipus: fuck yes +1 --- gratuitousgigi: i still have an exam in a few hours and i still have no idea what this game even is and i still have no idea what the hell i''m doing with my life. --- gratuitousgigi: so obvs fuck yes +2 ... --- Shadeyer: FUCK YES +100000000000 Chapter 85: Peachy Keen, Jelly Bean Chapter 85: Peachy Keen, Jelly Bean Nanuk checks his potions belt for the tenth time, worrying over whether he should swap out HP pots for SP. More SP means faster Dungeon Run time, but nothing slows a raid down more than dying. "Was it strictly necessary to make this a gods-damned race, Erebus?" he grumbles. I tear my eyes away from my own pre-raid gear double-check long enough to roll them at Nanuk, then I return to my window and open the countdown clock the system set up for our LiveStream. T-minus twelve minutes until we enter ckguard Bog andunch the first official LiveStream of Viren''s Refuge! "You heard Anansi, Nan," Kara exins for me. "We needed to get the Horsemen''s attention, and this certainly did the trick." Nightfury halfughs, half-grunts. "I still can''t believe Erebus never re-equipped his damn pants the whole time he was deadass spouting that ''Chaos Reigns Supreme'' shit." Taliesin snorts, as ever entertained by my theatrics and general asshattery. "I liked it. Boxers Bro is our level of Extra." Kara passes out berry tarts that add an extra temporary SP bar. As I take a bite, she walks past, then like an afterthought, she halts, ces a hand on my shoulder, leans in and murmurs, "It was a good move. That cute butt would grab anyone''s attention." I choke on the buttery crust. Kara bites her lip to keep fromughing and walks on to pass a tart to Nanuk. Taliesin bounds over with apple juice. I gulp down the drink and try to figure out if Kara was serious or just messing with me. Then a thought hits me, and I wish the juice were something stronger: Vulcan can never know his "show her that cute ass in those boxers" suggestion was miraculously a sess. "You sure it was a sess?" Taliesin asks, and I choke all over again. "What?!" Shitshitshit did I say that out loud? Can this kid read minds?? Taliesin pats my back. "Sorry, I didn''t mean to doubt you! It''s just, they still aren''t here yet, and there''s only a few minutes left..." Ohhhh. He''s talking about the Horsemen. Fuck''s sake. I pop the rest of the tart in my mouth and take another swig of the juice, trying to get my poor heart rate back to normal. Why is just talking to people so much more stressful than raiding a Nightmare Mode Dungeon? "Shit-for-brains over here didn''t give them enough time." Nightfury flicks me in the head, which swiftly brings me back to earth. This is the kind ofmunication I understand. "We barely managed to grab breakfast, restock essentials, and get back here in time, and we have a Pu`ca to teleport us. The Horsemen are all human." "They had plenty of time," I protest, throwing the empty juice bottle at his head before it disintegrates. "I told you, 08:00 is the perfect start time given where they were for that quest. They had to leave immediately and hustle here, but that''s exactly what we want. We couldn''t have them finish that first part of the quest, in case the next part of the chain gave them a clue they were on an MSQ." Before Nightfury can argue further, there''s a sh of light and smoke, and a tiny man in a thimble hat and moss green vest poofs into being right in front of us. He''s carrying a spatial bag as big as he is, which he immediately drops with a loud thunk. Nanuk, Nightfury, and Kara draw their weapons and tense for an attack. Taliesin and I leisurely step forward and smile at the little fae dude. "Hiya Brodie," Taliesin cheerily greets the Brownie. "Is that a new vest?" I ask. Brodie puffs out his chest proudly. "Mistress Arachne sewed it for me herself!" He turns around and shows off Silken Strand''s new insignia, a spider web with a sewing needle instead of a spider. "Nice," I say, and Brodie preens. "So what does it do? Shoot lightning bolts at thieves?" "Yeah, right," Nightfury snorts, lowering his guard now that it''s clear we''re not in danger. "Of course not!" Brodie replies. Nightfury nods, as if to say, "Obviously," and looks at me like I''m an idiot. "That might harm the merchandise," Brodie continues. Mid-nod, Nightfury freezes. "Wait, what? That''s the problem?!" "Obviously," Brodie says, looking at Nightfury like he''s an idiot. Shaking his head, he smooths out his vest. "The insignia patch shoots two needles that stab the thief like a spider bite," he exins, grinning a bit evilly. Arachne''s been a bad influence on the little guy. "It stuns them for one second, more than enough time for a Silken Strands employee to flee, but the worst part for the thief is, it leaves a mark that will ban them from any store affiliated with Silken Strands." "Ouch," I wince. "That''ll sting once Arachnepletes her epic take-over of every marketce in Viren''s Refuge." Nightfury looks like he wants to say, "Yeah, right," again, but Taliesin and Brodie nod, clearly understanding that I''m 100% serious. The Draegkyn pushes up his floppy hat to gape at me. "How are there other people as crazy as you are? How do you people find each other?" I smirk. "Animal maism." "I''m gonna tell Arachne you said that," Taliesin chirps. Why, that little... "Then I''m gonna tell Vulcan you went to an NPC cksmith to repair your throwing knife," I shoot back. Taliesin nches. "But I had no choice!" he yelps. "You sent him on that quest! And I need this knife for the Bog!" I fold my arms. "Mhmm. And I bet Vulcan will be toootally understanding of your predicament. It''s not like he''s a touchy genius who might refuse to upgrade Excalibur for you because you''ve put him in A MOOD." Somehow, Taliesin pales even further. "TRUCE. Truce-truce-truce!" I pretend to mull it over for a second, but honestly, we both know I''m as scared of pissing off Arachne as Little Dude is of upsetting Vulcan. "Truce," I say, finally, and offer my fist to Taliesin, who pounds it immediately. A loud sniffle draws my attention back to the Brownie. "True friendship. So beautiful. The Fated Hero and the Thrice-Blessed Child, taking on the world together." Brodie wipes away a glistening tear as he stares at us with his big yellow eyes. I''m curious what those nicknames might mean, but time''s ticking away, and I don''t have the patience for a long-winded tale and more NPC tears. "So what brings you to our Bog, Brodie?" I ask instead. The Brownie smacks his forehead. "Ack! Almost forgot my errand for Mistress Arachne." He opens the spatial bag and stretching on his tiptoes, he reaches so far into it, his head and torso disappear. "Aha!" he yells triumphantly as he pops back up, letter in hand. "For Master Erebus!" I recognize the tidy script as Arachne''s. She could just message me on the chat app, but no, of course she goes the handwritten, hand-delivered route. Psh. And people call me Extra. --- {Erebus~ Congrats on reaching new heights with your douchebaggery. Your ability to simultaneously enrapture and enrage thousands of people never ceases to amaze me. Xiuying would be proud. On to business. You may have noticed my shop faerie Brodie is carrying a Merchant Spatial Sack.} So THAT''S what he brought. Ooh, I want! These are capable of storing huge quantities of goods and raw materials, and even have slots for items that usually can''t be stored, like vehicles and live animals. {Don''t even think about stealing it.} ... I was absolutely thinking about stealing it. {The sack was a bonus reward for being the first 1-Star business. And since I''m the one doing all the actual work of running our business, I''ll be the one holding onto it. Don''t make Brodie SpiderBite you. It would be awkward if you could never again step foot in the shops you part-own. For now, feel free to unload as many materials as you have to spare! As soon as I learned Brodie''s magic includes teleporting, I realized I could save you and Taliesin the trouble ofing all the way to Silken Strands to deliver materials and Designs.} Ha. More like she just doesn''t want to wait to get her hands on front-line goods. {Also, thank you for having Alfryd find me a Lifestyle Liaison! I''d been procrastinating going to the Association to choose one for myself, so this was a lifesaver. He brought a few options, but it was a simple choice for me: Her name is Rosmerta, and she seems to have all the best characteristics of her Gaulish namesake.} I smile at that, since I can''t imagine a more perfect partner for the savvy Arachne. At the same, I can''t help a pang of jealousy. Rosmerta, "The Great Provider," was a Gallo-Roman goddess of abundance, often depicted with a cornucopia and a money bag. The Romans stole half her abilities and gave them to Mercury, their god of shopkeepers and merchants, but the Gauls praised Rosmerta on her own, revering her as the patron goddess of entrepreneurs. Even if this Liaison isn''t the real Rosmerta, as long as she''s simr, pairing her with Arachne spells doom for all the other Lifestyle yers. Hehe. Awesome. {To show my gratitude, I''ve included a little something in the bag for you. Enjoy the gift. P.S. I also appreciate the sales pitches you keep sneaking into your videos, but for the love of Danu, we HAVE to do something about your team''s whole aesthetic. I can''t be letting thousands of people see you looking that sloppy and thinking I helped dress you. I know it''s too early for most matching sets, but when you finish your raiding for the day, bring your team to the shop for some fittings, and I''ll see what I can do with everyone''s gear.} --- Snickering to myself because that woman never changes, I ry Arachne''s message. An odd expression flits across Kara''s face, but I''m distracted by a dozen rapid-fire questions from Nanuk, and Kara''s face is back to its beautiful neutral before I can ask if something''s wrong. Taliesin and I materialize everything we were nning on giving/selling to Arachne, and I throw in all the stuff I have for Vulcan too. I screenshot the two piles and shoot a quick message to Arachne and Vulcan, letting them know the cksmith should swing by Silken Strands after setting up his Market Forge. Before storing the goods, Brodie dives back into the bag to grab my surprise. He digs so deep into the bag his little feet are kicking the air, so I grab his ankle, worried he''s going to fall in and be lost in some crazy space-time wormhole. Then hees out with my so-called "gift," and I wish I had let him disappear when I had the chance. Another fucking pair of underwear. Pale pink, short boxer briefs, with a huge peach across the bum. The fruit has a little Princess Peach crown jauntily sitting on the top right. And across the entire arse, in gold glittery bubble letters: JUICY One more note is pinned to the boxers: {Your fans missed the pink. [3 Bingo, Bye-Bye, Boxers Bro!} I''m going to kill her. There''s a stunned silence while everyone fully takes in the horrific glory that is my new custom underwear. And of course, in that moment, the Four Horsemen finally appear. Chapter 86: Apocalyptic Prick Party Chapter 86: Apocalyptic Prick Party The field around the Bog Dungeon is mostly t, so the Horsemen Party is still a ways off when we notice them. Depending on how good their Perception is, they may not actually know how absurd these boxers are yet. I could hide them. I even go so far as to open my gear storage window, but then I close it with a sigh. It feels like losing, somehow. Especially if they can already see what they look like. I don''t want these tools to think I''m embarrassed. I wandered around in heart-patterned hot pink boxer briefs with Hero written across the butt for hours. I can handle whatever these dudes dish out. Boxers Bro hides from no one! As the other Party saunters across the field, I am entirely unsurprised to discover they''re waaay too into their Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse roley. Anyone would be able to tell who''s who, even without my Thread Reader skill. The shiest among them is Polemos, aka War, the Party Leader with a thirst for violence so intense Aku starts screaming in solidarity rage from its scabbard. Polemos is decked out in shiny scarlet armor with a high-tier spear. Probably Blue-Tier (highest tier below Nova), and at least Lvl 15, if not higher. The other guy in their group is Loimos, or Pestilence, a dark magic-wielder with poison des and green and silver armor. I guess he set his avatar preference to reflect his real-world body, since there''s no way the game would purposefully design a face that ugly. (I may identally mention this theory to Nightfury, out loud, in a voice that carries across the field, and Nightfury mayugh his ass off, and a red-faced Loimos may try to hit me with a curse, and it may be absolutely worth it. It also proves I''m totally right, so I send my condolences to Loimos for such unlucky gics. Thanatos has to hold him back from trying to stab me with a poison dagger.) Limos, aka Famine, is a short female mage-type in grey-white robes who wields a magic wooden stave. She yawns a lot and is zoned out from the conversation more often than not. At one point, she leans her head against her staff and I''m pretty sure she falls asleep standing up. Thanatos, Death, strikes a solemn figure in her head-to-toe ck everything. Even her skin is dark, and her long dreadlocks are tied off with ck bands. The only bright points on her entire avatar are her eyes: pure white, not even a pupil showing. Something about her unnerves me more than the others, and it takes a while for me to realize what it is. Stealth. She seems to constantly engage her Stealth Skill, and she''s so still and silent, I actually lose sight of her now and then when I focus on the other yers. It makes her seem even more like a Grim Reaper, silently observing mere mortals and waiting in quiet judgment to take away our souls. There are two other normal-looking Human yers with them, named Bob and Pineapple_Applepen. Neither of them were on the lists of Hard Mode First Clears from the first day, and I''m once again curious to know how the Four Horsemen seem to have a never-ending supply of yers willing to do their bidding. These two normies are clearly only here to fill out the requirements for the racial Zerg Bonus Humans get if they fight in groups of 6 or more. If anything, they look a little terrified of the real party members. The whole thing is freaking weird. At any rate, the group''s EXP grinding this morning must have been fruitful, since all four of the Horsemen are Level 14 now. Bob and Pineapple_Applepen are only Levels 9 and 10, so they must not split the EXP evenly. But more surprising than their high levels is their diamond avatar markers. Red, all six of them. And not just a simple bright red to denote yer-Killers. War, Death, Pestilence, and the two nobodies all have the deep crimson markers of yers who have ughtered tons of other yers. Limos is the sole exception. From the descriptions I read online, it''s clear she''s theziest of the group, only fighting and killing when she absolutely has to. Just like a Famine, she prefers Crowd Control Skills and AoE attacks that affectrge groups all at once, and then she lets the others do the dirty work and simply epts her portion of the EXP split. When they''re still a fair distance away from us, crazy Polemos calls out, "Sorry we''re almostte! Kepting across yer groups ripe for the killing. You know how it goes!" Uh, nope. Do not know how that goes. Don''t get me wrong, I''m down with PvP in the right context, but I''m not the homicidal maniac Polemos seems to be. Case in point, my own marker is still a happy, healthy green, even though I probably killed as many yers as any of these Horsemen. The game is kind to PKers acting in self-defense; since the angry mob outside Redcap Castle was waiting to ambush and kill me, the System recognized them as the yers who technically initiatedbat, so every attack I made was considered self-defense. It''s nice, because most games just automaticallybel whoever hits first or attacks first as the PK vitor. Like if an assassin is sneaking up to attack someone, and the would-be victim notices and turns around to attack first, they''d be the onebelled the "aggressor" and would have to face the PK penalty. (Even though if they waited for the assassin to attack first, they''d probably be dead.) Since everyone in the mob tried to kill me, even though most of them nevernded a single hit, they''re all going to have Orange markers for the rest of the day, which will make it extra difficult for them to enter towns or buy anything from NPC merchants. Red markers mean you actually murdered another yer, and theyst for multiple days, depending on how dark the Red gets. The penalties for having a Red marker are really steep in Viren''s Refuge, mostly because a lot of critics of VR say letting people murder each other so realistically without consequences will turn people into psychopaths. One of the worst side effects of being a Red yer is that you can''t enter Towns at all without being arrested, so you can''t use the Teleportation Portals. Ie up with a few ideas to use that fact to my advantageter. --- As the Horsemen finally reach our group, I allow myself one final tiny sigh as I mentally prepare myself for whatever dick thing the Four Horsemen are going to say about my JUICY undies. Then I straighten my spine, hold the boxers up in all their insane glory, and paste on the smirkiest smirk I can muster. But then the first Apocalyptic prick speaks, and my smirk slips into a grimace of rage. "Mm mmm, please tell me that fine-ass Valkyrie chick is going to be wearing those," Loimos (Pestilence) leers, raking his eyes up and down Kara''s body in an obvious once-over. "That th booty looks all kinds of ripe and juicy." His too-wide nose res and his too-thin lips curl into a lecherous sneer, and I very much want to rearrange his ugly mug with my bare fist... But Kara''s got it covered. "Don''t be absurd," she croons. "They''re for you. A present!" Loimos''s whole face wrinkles into a frown. "Why would I want a present like that?" Kara sneers. "No, you don''t understand. The present''s for everyone else. These are for you to pull down over your thick head. Not having to see your nasty face is the greatest gift you could give to the world." "Boom, roasted," I say, as ever in awe of my goddess. Loimos''s ugly face turns a violent shade of red-purple and he snarls. "YOU STUPID BIT--" KA-BOOM. Before he can finish that oh-so-creative insult, four separate attacksnd on the asshole. Well,nd on the shield Polemos (War) pulls out to block the attacks on Loimos, anyway. He may be Ranker hack, but the fucker''s FAST. "Aww, you guys," Kara smiles at Nanuk, Taliesin, Nightfury, and me. "So sweet to attack in sync like that." "No need for you to waste your time murdering him yourself," Nanuk assures her. "What''s wrong with all of you crazy bastards?" the Pestilence prick screams, shoving his teammate''s shield away. "We were just doing an experiment," Taliesin tells him. "Hypothesized you couldn''t physically get any uglier even if we blew your face off," Nightfury adds. "You already look like a Picasso finger-painting" I jeer. "if Picasso was drunk and having a seizure" Nightfury inserts. "so if anything, we figured rearranging your features was doing you a favor," Nanuk finishes. "I''ll kill all you" he starts to screech. "Enough." Thanatos''s voice is quiet but firm, and the simplemand shuts Loimos up immediately. Shuts everyone up, in fact. When Death speaks so absolutely, it''s hard to argue. Finally, one person breaks the strained silence. "What an absurd pair of boxers," Limos (Famine) says in a slow, quiet drawl. Her matter-of-factment reminds me I''m still holding pink underwear, and breaks the weird, ufortable atmosphere Thanatos had created. "In what way?" I ask, faux-offended. "Is it the peach? The pink? The pretty pretty princess crown?" "It''s the glitter," she replies, dead serious. "I know this is VR, but the capacity of glitter to get EVERYWHERE is a power greater even thanputer code. You put those boxers on, and you''re going to be finding gold sparkles in ces where the sun don''t shine for YEARS." I look down, and sure enough, some of the glitter from the bubble letters has already transferred to my hands. "Eep!" I yelp and immediately store the underwear in my spatial ring. It auto-selects a slot near the creepy, bloody +FORTITUDE items I have stored in there, and I''m in too much of a hurry to escape the clutches of glitter herpes to bother selecting another spatial slot. It''s not like it really matters where things are stored, anyway. Something clutches my pant leg, and I look down to see Brodie, shaking violently and whimpering like a kicked puppy. "What''s wrong?" My voice is thick with concern. Polemos groans. "Ugh, this pathetic, scared act is getting old. These damn NPCs act like I''m constantly one second away from murder." "Aren''t you, though?" Limos asks mildly. "Isn''t that kind of your general state?" Polemos grins. "Good point." He lifts his spear menacingly. I make eye contact with Taliesin, and he immediately understands my silent intentions. He shifts into his shadow cat form, and I put Brodie on his back. The poor Brownie lies t on Taliesin, still shivering in fear, and tries to hide in his ck fur. Taliesin winces, so I know Brodie must be pulling hard, but he tamps down the pain and lets Brodie do whatever he needs to remain calm. I re at Polemos, angry and confused. "What the hell kind of reaction is this? What did you do?" With a maniacal grin, Polemos exins he was bored when he finished Foundation Vige and arrived first in Gael. I grind my teeth at the reminder he scored the first World Notification in the game. I focus on the fact that I scored Nova-tier weapons because I was thorough and took my time, but it''s still frustrating. Then I be downright appalled as Polemos goes on to admit that to alleviate his boredom, he stalked and murdered an NPC kid and his pet dog. Taliesin gasps and backs up even farther with Brodie. "So you''re the reason for that final update!" At first, I''m not sure what Little Dude means. Then I remember one of the only updates that actually had nothing to do with me. That update made it way harder to kill an NPC now. Plus, yers can''t kill kids or in-town animals at all. If you do manage to attack or kill an NPC, a bounty goes out on you and you lose a fuck ton of Reputation points. I realize that Polemos has such low Reputation among humans and light fae now, even NPCs like Brodie who have never met him are automatically afraid of him. It also urs to me that he probably has high Reputation among Dark Fae and Unseelie, though, and I''m guessing that''s why he was able to trigger the opposing MSQ while grinding. I''m not sure what face I make at the homicidal nutjob, but it must not hide my opinions of his crazy ass, because Polemos suddenly snarls and lunges his spear forward. The attack is faster than I expected, so I have to actually engage my Dodge skill to sidestep. To hide my surprise, I yawn and level an unimpressed stare at the red-d warrior. "Rat bastard," he spits, annoyed I was able to Dodge. I yawn again. "Eh. I''ve been called worse things by better people." "I called him a twatwaffle a couple hours ago," Kara supplies brightly. "I called him shit-for-brains a couple minutes ago," Nightfury adds. "I called him an emotionally-stunted overgrown man-child with poor people skills and a recklessness bordering on psychopathy," Nanuk remarks. I''d been nodding along, but I falter at thatst one. "When did you call me that?!" Nanuk''s icy white-blue eyes pierce me, unnerving in their intensity. "A couple days ago, when Liam--er, Taliesin wouldn''t stop raving about how cool you were while the game shut down for updates." I feign a wound and use my theatrics as an excuse to stumble out of Polemos''s attack range. "That kinda hurts, bruh." "The truth always does," Nanuk nods sagely. Oof. Taliesin rubs against my leg like a housecat, and Brodie rxes his deathgrip enough to pat my thighfortingly. "Thanks, real friends who care about me," I say. Taliesin grins, which is a little terrifying with his cat face, but is mostly adorable, and Brodie stammers out how there''s no need for thanks, I''m the best, yadda yadda. He''s so caught up in being nice to me, he forgets to be scared of Polemos. That pisses the maniac Warlord off. "Fear me, you quivering piss-ant!" he cries. Without a word, I scoop Brodie up, Kara and Nightfury push all the piled materials into the Merchant Sack, and Nanuk and Taliesin form a defensive line. "Give my best to Arachne," I murmur at the little fae dude. Then Kara shoves the sack into his hands and with one final, shaky bow to me, Brodie disappears with a Crack! and a poof of smoke. "Aaaargh!" Polemos yells his fury at losing his prey, and moves to rush us instead, but at that moment, the Countdown Timer finally goes off. [Congrattions! LiveStream Activated! Good Luck, yers!] Everyone freezes, knowing the video feed is now Live for both of our Parties'' respective streams. The air is tense, but Thanatos speaks, ignoring the threat of battle hanging in the air. "We''ll settle this through the raid," she says. Again, her statement seems so final, so sure, that no one dares argue. With ast snarl in our direction, Polemos turns to the two normal guys hanging back from their group. I wonder which unlucky sod is going to get stuck waiting outside the 5-Person Dungeon, bored and lonely, when Polemos gestures at them both, and the atmosphere drastically changes. They suddenly look even tenser than before, and Bob pales. Polemos frowns. "You know the drill. Get a move on." My party looks at each other in confusion, but then those expressions morph into fascinated horror when Bob and Pineapple_Applepen intensely attack each other without any hesitation. From the way they knew what to do without any other instruction, it''s clear Polemos always makes the two extras they bring along for bonuses fight to the death to see who gets to join them on the actual Dungeon Raid. Bob ekes out a narrow victory. As thest of Pineapple''s HP drains, Loimos tells the loser not to bother meeting them back at this Dungeon. "Just tell the next one to meet us here ASAP," he orders. "We''ll be clearing this Dungeon in record time, so they better be here and ready the second we exit." That deration snaps my own Party back to reality, and all five of us instinctively tense and turn to the ckguard Bog Dungeon entrance. I don''t bother with any motivational speeches or asshole remarks this time. I just unsheathe Zen''Aku and silently lead the way. I know my Party can feel my resolve, my unshakeable certainty I can lead us to victory. Time to prove who truly reigns in this game. Chapter 87: Sweet, Sweet Vengeance Chapter 87: Sweet, Sweet Vengeance | Vir-Tech Labs | Visby counts five nervous pen clicks, three deep breaths, and one worried gulp before the intern finally finds the courage to make her report to Ding Fan. "Um, s-sir," the university grad student stutters, "ording to my projections, there''s a strong possibility we may have to unveil inter-city Teleportation before the day''s out." "Ha. Before lunch is out, you mean," growls a grizzly senior developer hunched over a monitor. It''s hard to tell if he''s more annoyed or impressed. Knowing him, Visby assumes it''s both. "And why would we need to move yet another schedule up by almost a solid month?" Ding Fan asks, as if there''s any way he doesn''t already know the answer. The intern nches. Biting her lip, she looks like thest thing in the world she wants to do right now is speak the Name That Shalt Not Be Spoken... "E-Erebus," she finally squeaks out. She doesn''t borate, but she doesn''t need to. There''s a solid ten seconds of silence from Ding Fan, which the intern fills with rapidfire pen-clicking. When she still receives no response, however, the poor kid calms down and loosens her death grip on her pen. Naturally, this is the exact moment Ding Fan inevitably loses it. "He''s a gods-damned menace, and he needs to be stopped!" Ding Fan deres, eyes wild behind his thick tortoise-shell sses. The intern jumps in rm, and the pen goes flying, whacking Ding Fan in the back of the head. "Tell us what you really think," Stacey deadpans, smoothly handing the horrified intern a new pen. When Ding Fan pouts, red-faced, Stacey takes pity on the aggrieved programmer and hands him a few throwing darts. He lets three fly in quick session. Visby''s dry lips crack into a wry smile as all threend squarely on-target. He can''t help but be impressed, even though he''s witnessed Ding Fan''s random hidden talent several times in thest few days. At this point, the dart board with Erebus''s avatar face is covered with darts and holes. "We need a new photo," one of the cyber security guys says. "This one''s barely recognizable as that brat." One of the art interns excitedly holds up an extrarge glossy poster. "How about this one next?" Visby''s surprised to see a human avatar with matching dual des. "Is that his beta avatar?" The intern nods happily. "Dregs! He looks more like the real-life version of Erebus, so I thought it might be more satisfying to hit with sharp projectiles!" Visby makes a mental note to never make any of the artists angry. Even the interns are terrifying. The new poster reces the destroyed old one, and a few other programmers join Ding Fan in pelting Dregs/Erebus''s smug face with darts. They''ve already gone through four posters in just thest two days, and Visby expects this one target won''tst too long either. The damn D''Raven can''t stop wreaking havoc, so the devs need some way to relieve their stress. Stacey''s idea. Visby has to admit, it was a good one. Stacey also started a betting pool as another coping mechanism. Everyone''s betting on when Erebus will finally die in-game. She''d realized that every time Erebus faces insurmountable in-game odds, everyone opens their screens to watch the fights anyway, so she started the pool and started projecting Erebus''s major battles onto the back wall for everyone to watch all together. She''s also enforcing a rule that no one can watch without eating something, so it''s helping keep everyone healthier. But in the end, all the coping in the world isn''t enough to keep the devs from losing their minds now and then. Erebus triggering inter-city Teleportation a full month early is definitely cause for some anxiety. Personally, Visby''s more worried about the D''Raven''s insanely stupid stats. He can''t stop staring at the board disying Erebus''s constantly-growing Attribute numbers: --- Name: Erebus Race: D''Raven ss: -- Subss: -- Title: The Natural Level: 15 EXP: 3022661/5000000 HP: 716 SP: 152 Attributes: Strength: 52 Agility: 34 Intelligence: 28 Vitality: 36 Hidden Attributes: Fortitude: 24 Luck: 0 Charisma: 20 Perception: 20 --- Visby shouldn''t be seeing stats like that for at least a couple months. It''s Day Friggin'' Two. And what''s worse, his OP stats are impacting the high-ss yers around him, so several elite yers are showing numbers far above what they should be at this point. With a weary sigh, Visby runs his hands through his messy hair and groans. "Everything okay, Visby?" a warm voice asks. Visby whips around, all fatigue forgotten. "Sir!" "Boss!" "Wee, sir!" "Hi, Boss!" A chorus of wees chime in as everyone realizes Zhao Jianyu himself is making an appearance. Chen Ai Lun, the Head of R&D (research and development) is standing slightly behind him, and it looks like they''re on their way to yet another meeting. Ever since the Nova AI "woke up," so to speak, Zhao Jianyu and his select top researchers have been holing themselves away on a restricted floor, holding countless meetings and doing who-knows-what-else. Visby knows the Boss would let him in on those meetings, if he asked, but for now, he doesn''t think he wants to know all that''s really going on. There are some things you can''t un-know, and he''s happy living in the metaphorical Matrix for now. "We heard shouting, so I thought we should check in before we head down to R&D," Zhao Jianyu exins. Ding Fan turns so red, Visby wouldn''t be surprised if he spontaneously burst into mes. Stacey snorts, then ps her hands over mouth, mortified. A secondter, she pulls up her hood and yanks the draw-strings until her entire face is hidden. ''Everyone''s losing their damn minds,'' Visby moans in his head. "Everyone''s fine," Visby says aloud. "Oh?" Boss ZJ asks, lightly raising an eyebrow. His gentle gaze twitches over to the Erebus-dart board. "Ah, well," Visby replies, rubbing the back of his neck sheepishly. "Honestly, we do have a few concerns." He goes over to the stats board, and pulls up the list of Top Stats next to Erebus''s full status. "Sir, don''t you think this is getting a bit out of hand?" Boss ZJ looks over the lists thoughtfully. "Hmm. I''m not sure what you mean." Visby''s jaw drops and he feels the urge to smash something. "He''s top in Charisma, but that makes sense," Zhao Jianyu continues, oblivious to Visby''s descent into madness. "He was Chosen as one of the Four World Pirs, after all." Visby nods, tightly. True, but... "Other than that, I see he''s only leading in Agility. Is it too crazy for him to be the top in two Attributes?" Stacey''s voice emerges from her closed hood. "Sure, technically he''s only in the number one spot for those two, but Sir, you''re missing the bigger problem." "Which is?" Ding Fan splutters. "He''s in the Top Ten for every single stat! Top Three of most of them!" "Not Luck," Chen Ai Lun points out. Everyone looks at the Luck List. Another Chaos Party member tops it: 1st) TALIESIN - 33 (?!?!WTF?!?!?!?!) After him, the next-highest stat number is 8, followed by 7, 5, 5, & 5. Everyone else in the game has a number between 1 and 4, so there''s no way to currently finish the Top Ten list. Too many tied at 4. There is a special mention, however, at the bottom: 50,000th) EREBUS - 0 (Base -1) "Okay, so he''s Top Ten in every stat but one," Visby concedes. "That still makes him more powerful than any other yer in the game. By a lot." He looks over to the female intern still nervously clicking her pen. She may be an anxious wreck, but she''s also a math prodigy. "72.4% stronger than the average yer. 23.6% stronger than the second-strongest elite yer," she supplies immediately. "Exactly," Visby says, waving his arms as if he can''t find a way to adequately demonstrate how insane that is. Zhao Jianyu''s mouth twitches into what looks like a small smile. Visby feels like he''s having an aneurysm. Ding Fan takes over for him. "Besides, you can''t even say his Negative Luck base stat matters, since all the so-called ''bad luck'' keeps working out for him!" Another intern chimes in. "We even rigged his Foundation Vige so that no matter what he did, he''d still be offered the omelet from Dina and trigger Fickle Fortune, since he was already doing way too well, and that backfired the most!" For a moment, it looks like Zhao Jianyu might finally be understanding theirints. Then he lets out a quiet breath, and somehow, everyone *knows* he is disappointed. "So you''re saying arge part of his meteoric rise is because every time you tried to nerf him, he used his overwhelming skills and talent to work the negatives into his favor?" he says quietly. ... Thick silence hangs heavy in the air. "When you put it that way..." someone mumbles. "Short of going in-game and killing him ourselves..." another flounders. Ding Fan perks up at that, a tell-tale glint in his eye. "Nooo. We can''t do that," Visby shoots him down immediately. Ding Fan harrumphs and pushes up his thick sses. "Fine. Then what do you suggest, damnit?" He sounds cranky and pissy and snaps the question. If he''d been asked, he would have said he was asking Visby, or maybe no one, or maybe just the universe in general. He definitely wasn''t asking Boss Zhao Jianyu. But that''s who answers him. Ding Fan has never wished for death more in his life than when he realizes he cursed at the world''s greatest living scientist. "If you are so keen on nerfing him..." Zhao Jianyu begins. "Yes," every voice (except Ding Fan''s, since his soul has left his body) says at once. "How about a Curse? He seems to be collecting those," Zhao Jianyu advises. Everyone mulls this over, new life shining in their eyes. "That might be perfect," Stacey finally says. "Yeah," a cyber security tech agrees. "We can''t just nerf him outright. It would be too obvious and seem too unfair, since technically he is seeding almost entirely on his own merits." "Can we just Curse him, though?" "Well, it''s this or Mod Murder, so..." "This is great, really. Find a way to use those merits against him!" "Be smarter than the yer!" "All right, let me look at his y stats..." Visby goes to stand behind the dev scrolling through Erebus''s y statistics. "Stop, right there," he practically shouts. The dev jumps, but she also lets go of her mouse, so the screen freezes. A terrifying smile breaks out on Visby''s exhausted face. "I remember this stat from the beta, too," he says. "There''s one Bonus he always makes sure to snag." "Last Hit Bonus!" Stacey blurts, suddenly understanding. Visby nods, thoughtlessly rolling the dev away from her own workstation. He slides into an empty chair and pulls up the game''s internal code on her monitor, too focused to remember he has his own perfectly goodputer. "Precisely," he mutters, half-exining, half-already lost in his own world. "So we put an automatic, no-dodge Bacsh Curse on the Boss. Auto-triggered by whoevernds the final hit." "But Chaos Party''s about to LiveStream, right? We can''t make this a one-time-only Curse, since we can''t be positive the Horsemen Party won''t win the race. If we make it a ''first person to kill the Boss'' Curse, they may trigger it instead." "But if we make it an automatic Curse for anyone who beats this Boss, no one will want to run this Dungeon anymore." "Ooh, make it the Hidden Boss! Erebus''s Fickle Fortune is only triggering the normal one this time, since we''re running out of Field Bosses to reroute. No one''s managed to beat this particr Hidden Boss yet, so no one can say we cheated by adding in this Curseter." "That''s perfect! What should it target?" "This is ckGuard Bog, right? What else, but AGI! It''s the most important Attribute for that Dungeon." "And it''s the one Erebus relies upon the most while he''s ying. This Curse should seriously fuck up his gamey for a while!" Chen Ai Lun looks a little rmed at the sudden flurry of activity, as everyone crowds around Visby''s stolen workstation and talks gleefully about destroying the single-most promising yer she''s ever seen. Zhao Jianyu, on the other hand, simplyughs and exits as silently as he arrived, leaving them to it. "Is this really okay, sir?" she asks. "Have faith," Zhao Jianyu answers. "Oveing obstacles is another way to gain strength." "I suppose..." "And this applies to my team, as much as it applies to Erebus," Boss ZJ adds. "That boy will bring everyone to new heights, and will continue to do so long into the future." "As long as we don''t go overboard and knock him so low he cannot recover," Chen Ai Lun warns, biting her lip in worry. Zhao Jianyu doesn''t answer. There is nothing one can say in the face of truth, after all. ----- (A/N: For anyone out there keeping tabs on my math: Erebus gained +1 CHA when his Hype Vid made people so angry, an actual mob showed up at the Redcap Castle to murder him; at this point, he also unlocked a special skill, but since that happened on-camera, the story didn''t show it. He''ll exin when he eventually uses it. He also did give the +2 PER talisman back to Kara, but fighting while blindfolded gave him the final +1 PER he needed to hit 20 on his own.) Chapter 88: Erebus Acts All Leader-y Chapter 88: Erebus Acts All Leader-y Thank the gods for over-30 AGI. This Dungeon is gross and awful and wet. But, thanks to my Agility, as long as I keep moving rtively swiftly, I don''t sink too deep into the bog water. I secretly believe that with god-tier AGI, like +60 or +80, it could be theoretically possible to run across water like a wuxia hero. Goals. Right now, I feel a bit like Legs in LOTR when he''s light-footing it across the snow and the rest of the Fellowship is slogging behind him, chest-deep and miserable. Naturally, Nightfury is Gimli in this analogy. "Fuckin'' hell, who the fuck designed this shit dungeon?" he is currently grumbling. I have a feeling the LiveStream may have already cut off Nightfury''s vocals, since the number of BLEEPs they''d need to block out his stream of profanities would ruin the atmospheric Dungeon music. His AGI is the lowest in our Party, so he''s trudging so deep in the water, he has to hold his bow awkwardly above his head so it doesn''t get wet. The Bog water won''t directly damage it, but it will lose durability faster if wet, and the water increases the bow''s weight, which throws off Nightfury''s aim. The fact the small weight change affects his shooting so drastically is actually a testament to his high level of skill and the precision of his shots. Not that I n on admitting that. Instead, I focus on running actual circles around Nightfury''s slow butt as he keeps lumbering forward. My job is killing off mobs before they get too close to him and "identally" sshing him enough to get his pink hat all wet but not enough to mess up his bow. Okay, that second part is more a side perk than an actual part of the job description. Every time one of the underwater grindylow mobs does manage to sneak past me, I snatch the nasty water demon by its horns and throw it into the air. And every time, without fail, Nightfury perfectly shoots the punk mini-demon in mid-air. With a wink at the LiveStream camera, I pull out a sk from my belt that I secretly bought from an NPC silversmith while everyone else was refilling their potions. It''s engraved with the Dreamworks Nightfury wearing my Nightfury''s floppy hat and horns. My Nightfury hates it so much he gnashes his teeth every time he sees it. It''s the best. "Cheers, mates!" I toast the LiveStreamers doing the Erebus Yeets Shit Drinking Game. "I hope you die of alcohol poisoning," Nightfury deadpans. "No worries, Grumpy Gus! I would never desert you on a Dungeon raid!" Stab, sh, slice. "I don''t need your dumb ass, Boxers Bro!" Shoot, shoot, Triple Arrow Explosion! In a lull between mobs, I undo my belt and equip it gun-belt style across my shoulder and chest. Then with a grin, I unequip my pants and give Nightfury a rose-patterned booty shake. A Boxers Bro specialty. Cursing my name, he''s so annoyed he doesn''t notice the slight discoloration that denotes a sinkhole. Suddenly, all that''s visible of my Draegkyn pal is his hat and the bow he instinctively hoisted even higher. My stomach lurches in rm. It''s too early for him to have the racial swim skill yet, so I rush over to pull Nightfury out of danger. Hees up coughing and spluttering, but alive. Then I notice the symbol next to his name and curse. Total Submersion Weakened State. For going underwater without the right gear and the Swim Skill, he now has a temporary debuff that adds double weight to his gear, increases his Stamina consumption, and adds a Chilled State that will cause his hands to tremble and mess up his aim. There''s only one way to cancel the debuff, and I can see in his eyes he knows it, too. "No, nonono. It''s fine. I can fight like this. I don''t need" "Yeet yeet, dragon brotha!" I toss my sopping wet teammate toward one of the boulder tforms dotting the dungeonndscape. "Gods daaaamnit," he yells as he flies. Then he sighs. Me and a few hundred random strangers on the inte chug our drinks. "You''re wee!" I call out to Nightfury when hends. "Now stay up there until youpletely dry off and end the Weakened State." We''d considered having Nightfury use the tforms to fight before, but he''s the slowest member of the Party, and since we''re doing a speedrun, it makes more sense for him to constantly move forward. As the most nimble, I paired up with him to keep him alive, and since I can Taunt, we haven''t had any trouble taking care of our share of the mobs. The other three are staying far enough ahead to draw their own mobs, but not so far we can''t alle together every time wee across a mini-Boss. My Fickle Fortune is still active, so splitting up makes the most sense since we''re facing 100% of the mobs, and we need to be as efficient as possible. Luckily, I chose this Dungeon for the race on purpose. There are tons of paths through the misty Bog, and based on the time the Horsemen posted for their Hard Mode clear, I know which path they''re taking. It''s the one posted during the beta andbeled the "most direct path" to the Final Boss. Wrong. During my Movement Speed testing assignment in the beta, the devs opened ckguard Bog to me as a single-yer Dungeon, then constantly manipted my AGI and gear to see how different options affected Movement in the bog water. I spent so long running around this Dungeon, I actually found three routes faster than the one published online. The shortest route distance-wise auto-triggers the ckguard Hidden Boss, so it''s normally only the second-fastest path time-wise. But since I know my Fickle Fortune will trigger the Hidden Boss no matter what path we choose, I went ahead and chose this path for my Chaos Party. At least this way, we can know exactly where the Boss will appear. And even ounting for the 100% mob spawn rate, even if the other team doesn''t trigger the Hidden Boss, we should beat them by forty minutes at least. Actually, given how much better everyone is doing than I''d thought, we might beat them by a full hour. For obvious reasons, we had Taliesin open the Blue-Tier Chest we received for clearing thest Nightmare Mode casualty-free. Thanks to our boy''s Luck, it contained the third piece of the blue-and-gray armor set Kara''s been collecting. With the set bonuses, her defense is way high now, so she''s finally able to take on the high-DPS Tank role she''s been gunning for. She alternates between spear-and-shield and only spear, and she''s so talented at Blocks and Parries, she barely needs her shield to avoid damage. I''m so used to just taking hits so I can move in as close as possible, or Dodging all hits because I''m in the Red Zone and two breaths away from death, I''m pretty sure Kara''s actually better at Blocks and Parries than I am. (I really wanna spar with her sometime soon.) As the lightest member of our Party, Taliesin races around in shadowcat form, wreaking havoc and having the time of his life. Nanuk splits his time between Healing and busting heads with his magic staff. The mobs are so small, his boomerang isn''t super useful except when we fight the Bosses. I send them a message via the Party Chat, exining what''s up with Nightfury, and they desert their current mobs to move even further ahead. I run around to grab their mobs and as many other mobs as possible and bring them back to Nightfury, since he won''t be able to move off his rock for a full minute. To snag thest few stragglers, I yell, "LEEROYYYY JENKINS!" and hightail it back to Nightfury. *Ding!* {Aether Alert: d in Underwear and Ego, you recently sent out a Virtual Taunt to all of Viren''s Refuge. Considering it was effective enough to make yers from all over Gael want to kill you, the System recognizes the creation of a new [Taunt] optional skill bonus: Boxers Bro!} [Taunt (MAX): The trash talk skill. Allows you to immediately draw Aggro from enemies within 15 meters and maintain Aggro for 8 seconds. Cooldown: 2 Minutes Lee-Roy Jenkins Bonus: Double Range for Aggro Draw, +2 Seconds Aggro Maintain Boxers Bro Bonus: If you Taunt in your Underwear (no trousers or other bottom gear/armor equipped), +5 meters Base Aggro Draw, +2 Seconds Aggro Maintain Note: yer-Created Bonus D''Raven Erebus] [Creator Bonus: +2 Vitality, +1 Charisma, +150 Reputation at Taverns] Well. That''s hrious. I look up and salute the devs, who I''m sure are watching and have been waiting for me to trigger this skill bonus. Then, chuckling to myself, I get to business ying monsters in my undies. Soon enough, everyst monster has taken itsst breath, and Nightfury is debuff-free and ready to jump back into the fray. --- [Chaos Party Chat] Erebus: all right, peeps, we''re on our way. remember not to cross the red-tipped marsh nt barrier until we catch up! Taliesin: yes, mom, we know (_) Kara Geir: it''s cute when you get all Party Leader-y Nanuk: I never knew you had it in you. So proud. ( )9 Nightfury: ew. he''s blushing. it''s gross. Erebus: am not Nightfury: *sends image: pink-cheeked Erebus reading his messages, smiling like an actual normal person* Erebus: damnit dragon Erebus: *sends image: Nightfury, face as pink as his hat, mouth open in shock as he realizes Erebus is now carrying him bridal style across the Bog* Erebus: boo and me''ll be there in a jiff! ^_* Taliesin: hurry up, lovebirds! Hidden Boss tiiiime Nightfury: aslkdghioadgk Erebus: love you, too! [3 Chapter 89: Shit Goes Down Chapter 89: Shit Goes Down | Earlier Today, at Breakfast | (An Excerpt from: "How to Beat ckguard Bog - A Foolproof n by Erebus") -- "What do you mean, we have no choice but to face the Hidden Boss?!" Nightfury fumes. "We''re going to die," Nanuk sighs, sinking his face into hands. "So dramatic." I steal one of his sausage links. Nanuk hits the sausage with a Frost spell, so I bite into a meatcicle. "Petty prick," I say, impressed. I drop the frozen link into Nightfury''s tea. "No one''s ever beaten this Boss," Nanuk warns, like it matters. "The Lantern Man party-wipes every team toe across him. When I saw on the forums that a couple parties faced him the first day, I was shocked he was still part of the game." "Same," Nightfury agrees, silently swapping his tea for Taliesin''s. "I figured after all theints from the beta testers, the devs would have nerfed this broken mob or reced him. Instead, it sounds like he''s even stronger!" I shake my head at their adorable concerns. "Why would they get rid of such an awesome Boss?" I protest, eyes shining in excitement. "And of course they had to make him stronger; a beta yer soloed the Lantern Man half a dozen times, after all." Nanuk almost falls for it and asks. "Who in the" he starts, then cuts himself off and stares at me, jaw practically falling to the floor. "For Danu''s sake, are you even human, you battle-crazy bastard?!?!" Nightfury yells at me. "No, I''m a D''Raven," I reply seriously. "I still say getting to solo a Party Dungeon a jillion times is some real beater bs," Kara mutters, ignoring Nightfury trying to stab me with a spoon. She sounds half-bitter that her beta testing wasparativelyme, and half-impressed I actually *could* solo a Party Dungeon without dying spectacrly. "If it makes you feel better, my beta was definitely not always happy funtimes," I admit, shuddering. The one-tittied women still haunt me. Taliesin passes me a sympathy scone and takes a sip of his tea. If he notices it now has a meaty essence, it doesn''t seem to slow him down. Teenage boys, man. Iron stomachs. "That does make me feel better," Kara replies brightly. "And now I''m intrigued. Looks like you''ve seen some real darkness." "I''ll never tell," I say tly. "Arachne will," Taliesin mumbles into his mug. Now it''s my turn to stab someone with a spoon. In my frenzy to punish the Pu`ca traitor, I almost miss the brief pained expression on Kara''s face. Though I want to ask her about it, Nanuk pulls us back on track, reminding us of the time crunch, and I focus on the raid. I exin the Lantern Man Boss fight is solo-able, but it''s a right pain in the arse. Takes almost as long (or longer) to beat him solo than it does to run the rest of the entire Dungeon. "I think the battle would work best with solid teamwork and a single point of leadership. Leader needs epic reflexes, as well as high Perception and Agility." "So, obviously you," Taliesin says matter-of-factly. He''s now using the spoon I stabbed him with to eat pudding. Nightfury grumbles under his breath. "Sorry, couldn''t quite catch that, Mr. Slowest Party Member," I say cheerfully. "I resent that. You know my base AGI is just as high as everyone else''s, right?" Kara and Nanuk look doubtfully at Nightfury. I snort. "It''s not funny, damnit!" Turning bright red, Nightfury pelts me with a half-eaten biscuit. "It''s your fault! Tricking me into taking this godsforsaken Cursed Hat!" "Ooh really? What''s it do?" Taliesin asks, interested. Kara''s expression is also back to normal, and she tugs the pink monstrosity down over Nightfury''s eyes. Flustered, Nightfury bats her away and groans that it''s nothing to worry about. I happen to know that it''s actually a lot to worry about, but I don''t out him. I''d have to reveal I can spy on people''s stats, and I''d rather keep that a secret. Throughout the morning, I''ve used Thread Reader II on everyone in the party so I can properly gauge abilities before giving instructions, so I''ve already seen that Nightfury''s SP-based Main Attributes (Agility and Intelligence) are [Cursed] to be 15% lower than normal. What makes that especially frustrating is that his Agility ended up knocked down to 19, so he lost all the +20 AGI bonuses in movement speed. Taliesin''s sitting pretty with +28 AGI, Nanuk is tied with Nightfury''s base AGI of +23, and Kara''s chilling at a respectable +20. Her STR beats them all by a mile, though, since she''s already at +46. Since I''m focusing on raising AGI and INT, I expect it won''t be long before she overtakes me in that stat, honestly. It tickles me when I realize the battle for Strongest yer is going toe down to a face-off between a real-life ballerina (Vulcan) and avender-haired bombshell shorter than me. And they''re both ying lean Valkyries. I can''t wait to see all the burly dudes whose avatars practically scream "STRENGTH-BUILD" when the in-game Rankings start being released. Kara notices me chuckling quietly to myself, and raises an eyebrow in question. I just shake my head and smile, then resume exining the battle n. "I''ll be the only person who will be able to see the overarching scope of the battle. Everyone else will have to blindly listen to directions that don''t make sense at first, but if you can all pull it off, I think we should be able to beat the Boss in under ten minutes!" "Huzzah!" Taliesin cheers. -- | Present - ckguard Bog Hidden Boss Battleground | The familiar licorice scent and wooden chimes are, for once, wee. I''d been worried my Fickle Fortune might not trigger, since the Hidden Boss is already coded to appear in this location automatically, but now, that 100% loot drop is ours for the taking. [You have triggered a HIDDEN BOSS!] [LANTERN MAN - HinkyPunk Water Demon] [Level 16 - HP 60,000/60,000] The Lantern Man is a being of blue me and smoke. His head is misshapen, like a balloon that''s lost its shape days after a birthday party. His eyes are orbs of white light, his distorted mouth is a jagged sh. Two long, spindly smoke arms reach all the way to the Bog, and he uses his t hands to run along the water''s surface. His thin, skeletal torso tapers off into one single leg, much shorter than the arms, and his wed foot grips antern. I only see the Boss HinkyPunk for a split second before he screeches like nails on a chalkboard, and a mist rises from the water so thick it bes impossible to even see my own hands. The battle has begun. It''s the Moment of Truth now. Based on my directions from before the Dungeon ever started, the rest of Chaos Party *should* have already spread out into position before the mist blinded us. Apprehensive, I slide up my Dungeon Map to be parallel with my normal vision so it''s easier to see while running. The four colored triangles of my teammates light up the map, standing in precisely the positions I''d suggested. Huh. Would you look at that. The bastards listened. My hands are trembling when I turn on the Party Voice Chat. "Set and ready, Erebus!" Taliesin immediately deres. "Let''s kick some HinkyPunk ass," Kara agrees. "Awaiting your instructions," Nanuk adds. "Remember I won''t be able to heal you, so don''t be an idiot." "Your warning''s no use. Being an idiot is what the idiot''s best at," Nightfury says drily. "Now then, Erebus, go sow some chaos, you deranged D''Raven. We''re ready to back your y, insane as it is." I open my mouth to respond, maybe say something leader-y, maybe snark at Nightfury. Nothinges out. All I can think of is thest time I yed with Team Digital Discord. Though I was Team MVP every year after I joined, I was never made Team Captain. This royally pissed off Xiuying, but I didn''t let it get to me. I was young, and reckless, and my strategies were always a bit insane. I figured I just wasn''t cut out for a leadership role. It was fine. Instead, I led by example. I used what I knew of my teammates'' skills to set up battles where they could dominate, and I covered everyone''s asses, and I just generally did my own thing. I wasn''t captain, but I also didn''t have to listen to the captain. I made my own strategies, and sure, sometimes I thought they may be easier to carry out if everyone was aligned to my n, but it was no big deal making solo strategies that fit within the paradigm of the team''s strategies. Xiuying always tried to tell me that this was not a normal skill, but I figured she was exaggerating. She thought this ability was actually the real secret to my sess; it''s essentially how I y all games. I figure out the game''s strategies and ns, then I rework my own strategies within that framework and y the game exactly as I want. Now that I think about it, this may be why people are always asking, "Is this guy even ying the same game we are?!" Thest match I ever yed with Digital Discord was an official league match against our greatest rivals. A few minutes into the battle, I saw through the enemy''s trap and gave out rapidfire instructions to all my teammates. Two listened and responded perfectly. One listened but didn''t understand why I''d want him to move to a particr area, so he only partially-followed the instruction. And one ignored mepletely because he thought I was underestimating his ability to take on the opponent''s captain. Three secondster, the trap was sprung, and the two bad listeners were toast. In the end, we only won the match because the two who listened perfectly were able to avoid the death trap and enact my counterstrike n to kill off two enemies. Then I soloed the rest while those same two provided cover fire. I''d worked with that team for years. Chaos Party has only been together a few hours. They don''t even know who I really am. They have no idea Erebus/Dregs is Eric Lieu, Olympian and Three-Time World Champion. Yet they''re already following my lead. It''s...disconcerting. But also...nice? ARGHHH whyyy is this such a big deal?! Whyyy am I having a fucking crisis in the middle of a damn Boss raid?! Fuckin'' hells. I AM an emotionally-stunted overgrown man-child. I p my cheeks like an anime character, and it is slightly more effective in-game than it is in the real world. Might be a side effect of my p Skill. I enable the LiveStream option "Eavesdrop" so our loyal viewers will also be able to hear what we say, even if we''re on the Party Chat privatems. "Let''s fucking do this!" I roar, and the rest of Chaos Party cheers along with me. -- The battle goes off so smoothly it''s almost scary. It''s a maze-style Boss fight, and most teams die because they go at it altogether head-on. Essentially, the Lantern Man uses will o'' wisp mes to lure yers into auto-death sinkholes in the Bog, plus there are pondweed mobs that reach out to grab you. They don''t inflict much damage, but if you can''t escape their grasp fast enough, you''ll lose sight of the Lantern Man''s wisps andntern, and then you''ll be forced to wander blind in the mist and eventually fall into a sinkhole and die. The wisps and thentern light look practically identical, and the lights only appear for one second at a time, so you only have time to make split-second decision and chase thentern''s path. With my Perception, coupled with my innate knowledge of the Will o'' Wisp skill, it''s not too hard for me to discern which is which. But the Lantern Man also speeds up when he starts losing HP, so I also need my high Agility, or I''d lose track of him regardless. The real trick to this battle is using only one yer to follow the HinkyPunk Boss and issuingmands to the other yers to do most of the actual damage. See, he follows a set route pattern. It''s a bit tricky to memorize since it''s impossible to actually see your surroundings and sound travels bizarrely in the Bog, and unfortunately, the particr pattern is randomized every time he appears. So you can''t just fight him a bunch of times and learn the route. You have to memorize which pattern he''s using during the actual battle. And that''s where the teammatese in. Solo, you have to just keep flinging ranged attacks the few times the Lantern Man pauses on his route and slowly wear him down, which is a pain because he has Monster Regen. With teammates ced at certain points on the map, I can refer to my trajectory in rtion to them as I follow thentern around the mist, and that way, I can learn the pattern! Then, once I figure the pattern out, I can issuemands to my teammates, telling them where to move so they''ll end up in the Lantern Man''s path, along the outside of his battle range where there are no sinkholes. Since attacks don''t make the Boss stop, they have to start attacking before they can actually see him, then keep attacking when he creepily appears in their sight, and then try tond a few extra hits as he leaves. This means they have to listen to me to know when to start attacking, and from what direction he''ll being, etc. And they''ll have to implicitly trust my directions when I tell them where to stand, and believe I won''t send them to a watery grave. Unfortunately, I can''t join them in the safety of the outside track because if the maze-runner yer stops chasing, you lose the aggro and the Lantern Man disappears back into the mist. The mist stays, though, so all the previous teams who tried to just give up still all died. The three times the Boss pauses happen in the middle of the battle field as he crosses by the most sinkholes, so that''s when I can attack. Luckily, I have a few more ranged attacks in my arsenal this time around, so my DPS isn''t as awful as it was in the beta. But my damage is still nothingpared to the real damage my teammates in his actual path can inflict. And the best part is, the Lantern Man doesn''t actually have any physical attacks! So they can get up all in his space with rapid attacks, and they don''t have to worry about a counter! The others dig it, since it means they''re actually catching up to my Contribution levels. It''s anybody''s guess who will win Highest Contribution this time...though I have a few tricks up my sleeve for the Final Boss. These dudes best not get too excited. Kara throws it in my face when she knocks the Lantern Man below 10% HP and gets the Red Zone Bonus. I''d managed to steal it during every single Boss fight up to this point. I''m both frustrated because I love me my EXP Bonuses, and also exhrated because THE BATTLE IS GOING EVEN BETTER THAN I COULD HAVE IMAGINED. Everyone is listening to my directions. Immediately. Without question or concern. And I can hear themughing and cheering and roaring over the Party Chat, having the time of their lives even in the face of the deadliest Hidden Boss in Gael, and I honestly don''t even know how to DEAL. Thesest couple rounds, every time I race past one of them on my way to follow the Lantern Man on his path, they high five me and cheer before I disappear back into the mist. Talk about a pretty Fucking Awesome Moment right here. I decide to cement its awesomeness by powering up my Smite Skill while Sprinting, which is fucking stupid and difficult and if I die because I''m not paying enough attention I absolutely deserve it, but I DON''T DIE, I fucking WIN, because my Smite is all charged and ready the next time Lantern Boy pauses on his path, and I LET HIM FUCKING HAVE IT. *Ding!* [Congrattions Erebus! Last Hit Bonus!] "Damnit Erebus, you just HAD to steal the damn thunder!" Kara half-growls, halfughs. "I''ma be taking that Bonus on the Final Boss, you hear?" Nightfury promises. "I bet it''ll be Kara," Taliesin and Nanuk reply in unison. The mist still hasn''t dissipated, and I don''t want to risk leaving the battlefield until I can definitely see the sinkholes, so I ignore the bickering and open my battle log to check out the Last Hit Bonus reward. My eyes bug out of my head, and I choke on fog. A mothafuckin Guild Creation Token!?! This thing is worth a FORTUNE! Most people''s stats won''t be high enough to beat this Boss until at least Realm 2, so if they want to get a jumpstart on a guild... And holy shit, this LiveStream is going to go VIRAL once people realize they need to beat this Hidden Boss to get a Guild Creation Token! We need to hide this bad boy behind a paywall ASAP! The delicious sound of clinking coins fills my brain. I try not to hyperventte. "Holy Smokes, dudes!" I shout into the Party Chat. "We just scored a" KABOOM! The entire mist field converges on me, and I go flying into the air. A sea of white blinds mepletely, making it impossible to read the red alert I saw sh before I went blind. It doesn''t matter, though. The Lantern Man''s nail-scratch voice fills the bog, and with his dying words, he announces the alert aloud for all to hear my doom: [COUNTER-CURSE ACTIVATED: {HinkyPunk''s Final Revenge!} Target: Last Hit Bonus Recipient, yer Erebus] Chapter 90: Countering Counter-Curses Chapter 90: Countering Counter-Curses [COUNTER-CURSE ACTIVATED: {HinkyPunk''s Final Revenge!} Target: Last Hit Bonus Recipient, yer Erebus] I m back into the bog with an epic ssh, and a howling wind tears through to disperse the mist and the remaining pondweed mobs. A series of notifications fill my vision the second the fog disappears: [{HinkyPunk''s Final Revenge - CURSE}: For the next 36 hours, AGILITY will be reduced to Racial Base, STAMINA will be reduced by Half. yer will enter SEVERELY WEAKENED STATE for 1 hour. You have proven your worth as a Leader, but now the true test begins. Can your teammates survive without your strong abilities to lead the way? Can they help you survive this aqueous death trap without the attribute most linked to sess? Reward: If you survive this Dungeon Raid, you will be endowed with an Active Curse Skill.] My heart ms in my chest as I read this insanity, but before I can evenprehend how royally screwed I am, my eyes are drawn to the notifications over-writing the initial Curse. --- {Windflower Emblem Counteract! - Thanks to the power of your Windflower, your AGILITY will not be reduced to null for the full 36 hours. Instead, you will regain 1-3 points of AGI per hour. Current Status: Agility +2 (D''Raven Racial Base)} {Fortitude Counteract! - Your mental fortitude is Strong, and will not sumb so easily to such a devious Curse. No Severely Weakened State! Lose only -50 SP!} {Fickle Fortune Counteract! - FORTITUDE BONUS! For every hour you survive with limited AGI and SP, gain +1 bonus Fortitude.} {Fickle Fortune Curse Enhance! - O, how fickle your fortune be! One Random Gear Item is Frozen for the next 36 Hours. Item automatically unequips and remains frozen in Storage.} --- I don''t know how I know. I just do. I don''t even have to look. I feel it in my soul. I look anyway. "MY FUCKING PANTS." I sincerely consider drowning and just being done with it all. "Goodbye cruel world," I whisper melodramatically, then close my eyes and let my head fall back on the water. I''m floating spread-eagle on the surface of the Bog water, pantsless and pissed. I hear the sshing of my teammates rushing over to check on me, and I can only hope they''re being careful to avoid the sinkholes. "Erebus, don''t do it! You still have so much left to live for!" Taliesin frantically screeches in my ear. Whoops. Forgot the Party Voice Chat was on. "The dumbass can''t actually die, idiot. We''re in a damn game." Nightfury''s usual grumpy grumble sounds shot through with a tinge of...is that...concern? "Even so, we can''t be letting our Party Leader die from such an obviously underhanded, bullshit Counter Curse, now can we?" Kara''s low voice usually flows over my senses like rich, hot caramel; this time, however, she''s spitting pure venom. Somehow, I think she might be even more pissed than I am. "You can''t give up. The Horsemen will be insufferable if you die," Nanuk reminds me sternly, and I have to admit, it''s a damn good argument for survival. The sshing gets closer and closer, until I''m hit with a cold spray from their harried arrival, and I sense my team hovering over me. With a long-suffering sigh, I open my eyes to see four faces contorted in concern. "I swear to Danu, the second we get out of here, I''m auctioning off this damn Guild Token and buying 100 pairs of pants." There''s a silent beat, then everyone bursts outughing, relief lightening their haggard expressions. I try to hold onto my frown, but one corner of my mouth can''t help but quirk up into a little half-smile. Nanuk''s the first to reallyprehend all my words, and hisugh cuts off with a strangled choke. "Guild Token?!" I pull up the Item Description for the Guild Creation Token and make it visible, partially to show my Party the sweet reward we scored, but mostly to show off to the viewers and start making this video famous. While they ooh and ahh over the Guild Creation Token details, which I give exactly zero fucks about, I secretly scroll through the rest of the Rewards. For Last Hit Bonus, I gained the HinkyPunk Lantern, which I ce in storage next to the Ankou Lantern I never got around to selling. Immediately, the two items start vibrating in their respective storage boxes, and I make a n to hit up Vulcan ASAP to see how I might go aboutbining these bad boys. I also see that I was supposed to be rewarded with a level increase to my Ignis Fatuus Will o'' Wisp racial skill, but since I''d already MAXed it out, I get +5 Intelligence instead. Not a bad deal, overall. Finally, I get this nifty gem that looks like a shiny blue will o'' wisp me. On its own, it''s basically just a +3 AGI talisman, but when these types of gems are affixed to armor (by a professional smithy), they usually add multiple passives. Plus, once they''re part of your gear, they stop taking up space as an equipped Talisman or Ornament, which you can only have 5 of right now. Kind of a dick move to give me a +AGI gem when I''ve literally JUST been Cursed and can''t use it, but I guess I shouldn''t be surprised at the dev''s assholery. I wordlessly toss it to Nightfury instead. He catches it more out of instinct than anything and looks ready to bite my head off for throwing shit at him, until he realizes what it is. "What the fuoh." His cheeks flush, and his crimson scales shine brighter. He coughs and won''t quite meet my eye as he equips the gem. It''s enough to push him over the +20 AGI mark, and immediately, he rises up until he''s only ankle-deep in the water. "Er. Thanks." "It''s nothing." I take a swig from my Nightfury sk for emphasis. "Just didn''t feel like carrying your ass through this shit Dungeon anymore," I tell him lightly. Nightfury rolls his eyes and reaches down to grasp my hand and pull me to my feet. "Sure sure, whatever you have to tell yourself." "D''aww," Kara coos, fluttering her gloriously long eyshes, "did Erebus do something nice again and then immediately try to be a dick about it?" My nose wrinkles as I frown, disgruntled. Kara freaking cackles at me. One of my standard, ready-made retorts pops into my mouth, ready to ruin whatever misconceptions these people have about me, when Nightfury lets go of my hand and I suddenly sink chest-deep in the frigid gray Bog water. Shit. There''s a reason the suggested minimum AGI for this Dungeon is +15. I thrash about, trying to pick up some speed to rise out of the water, but it''s useless. In fact, my entire body feels pretty useless. I''d been so used to my advanced AGI, it now feels like I''m not moving at all. Plus, the water has a Slow Movement debuff, so even with all my strength, I can barely lift my arms out from under the water, can barely put one foot in front of the other. Nightfury chuckles at how we''ve switched ces, and Taliesin cracks a joke about how I''m an old man now, moving as slowly as Nanuk does when he''s getting out of bed in the morning. Nanuk grumbles, looking betrayed, then grapples his kid brother into a head lock. Kara cheers as Taliesin shifts into a goat demon and Nanuk has a mini-heart attack and drops the terrifying demon child who''s now a foot taller than he is. When Taliesin responds by giggling in his cute kid voice, everyone shudders and Nightfury surreptitiously crosses himself like a Catholic nun, and no one even makes fun of him because it''s objectively horrifying to see a giant demon goat monster giggle. And essentially, all of this means that 4/5 of Chaos Party are having a grand old time while I''m slowly drowning; no one is panicking, because why would they, it''s just a temporary movement curse, and there''s no reason I wouldn''t be fine. And even when all the pondweed mobs that had blown awaye crashing back as one giant Pondweed Monster, no one panics. They just kick its ass, while I do nothing but get sshed and tumbled about by the aftershocks of their assaults, because my reflexes are practically non-existent, and I can''t seem to remember how to even dodge water, and all I can do is watch, helpless, as my friends are attacked, right in front of me. The quiet, sane part of me knows that they''re more than capable of defeating ame nt monster by themselves, no matter how jacked it is. It''s hard to listen to that sound reasoning, though, when the rest of my brain is shrieking at my limbs to MOVE, DAMNIT, DO SOMETHING, ANYTHING. They need you, and you can''t do anything, you''re weak, you''re useless, they''re going to be hurt, they''re going to die, they''re going to DIE, and you''re going to LET THEM, it''s all YOUR FAULT Nightfury, relishing his newfound freedom of movement, goes nuts on the monster, using every major attack in his arsenal, andnds the final hit with a Triple Explosion that lights up the bog for 100 meters in every direction. I lose sight of my entire party in the red-orange glow of the explosion''s animated effects. This has happened before. "NOOO!" The horrified scream rips violently from my throat. Tears stream down my cheeks, lost amongst the wet drips cascading from my hair. My voice is nothing but a harsh rasp, as words tumble from my lips uncontrobly, "Nonono not again, no, I''m sorry, I''m so sorry, please be alive, I''m sorry I''m useless, I couldn''t protect you" "Whoops, guess you''ve had enough," Nightfury says loudly, huffing a boisterousugh. He reaches over me, and I flinch, jerking back, except I don''t go anywhere because I''m still frozen and useless and broken, and Nightfury''s draconian eyes sh with worry and fear. Laughing even louder, he makes a big deal out of taking away my silver sk, shing an exaggerated grimace to the camera and forcing the camera to zoom in on the ridiculous dragon engraving. And all the while, he''s grabbing my other hand with his, and using my fingers to swipe open the LiveStream options, so he can turn off "Eavesdrop," turning the viewers deaf to anything said over the Tactic Talk Party-Only Voice Chat. "Erebus?" Kara only manages a single word, but it''s still fraught with worry, and somehow, I recognize it, and the tearse even faster because it reminds me of Xiuying. My sister, broken, because I am useless, and broken, too. "Nightfury, you know that''s just ckberry juice, right?" Nanuk says. "He''s too serious about the game to jeopardize our run with alcohol." "I know that. But they don''t." He gestures widely, indicating the audience. He sighs, then catches himself, looks at the camera, shrugs and winks, and takes a huge swig. "What''s going on? Why did Erebus scream..." Taliesin cuts himself off, clearly remembering that bloodcurdling sound, and clearly wishing he could scrub the memory from his mind forever. Nightfury takes a deep, shuddering breath, before piercing all of Chaos Party with his most serious, golden gaze. "It''s a panic attack. And if we can''t help him regain control, we are all going to die." Chapter 91: Panic Chapter 91: Panic "It''s a panic attack." The words drift down to my ears, slow and muddled as if they travel underwater, but I hear them all the same. And I know what they mean. They know. They know they know they know they know. They know I''m hopeless, good-for-nothing, dead weight. Shaking uncontrobly, I hunch over, sink deeper into the icy water, make myself as small as possible, try to grip my right arm but all my limbs are numb and useless dead weight, it''s dead weight, dead, they''re all dead Screams and thunderous explosions and the night on fire, the world on fire Xiuying on fire. Xiuying bleeding, crumpled, broken I''m broken I''m dead. I should be dead Should be me Not them Not her "NOT HER!" I scream with everything I have, but still, I cannot undo the past, cannot drown out memory. The sickening crunch of bone on metal, a final gasp of pain, my name on blue lips. I don''t know if it''s real or imagined but it doesn''t matter, "ebus." it''s all too real in my mind, and she''s hurt, they''re hurt, "Erebus, listen to my voice." and I''m not. "Focus, breathe." Everything hurts, breathing hurts, living hurts, but I''m not REALLY hurt; They saved me, She saved me NO! Save yourself! "Baby, you gotta breathe for me. Listen to my voice. Listen to my breathing." You should have saved yourself, but you didn''t, so I''d feel no pain I feel nothing, "Breathe in, good job, just like that." I am nothing. ----- "NO! Don''t you let go! Don''t you give up!" Warm arms around me, warm breath against my ear, urgent words whispered into my soul. "Listen to me, you''re so strong, you''re so brave." "You''re wrong," I croak, and it hurts to speak, but I have to, I have to let the voice know they have it all wrong, I''m not strong, I''m weak and useless. Xiuying''s the brave one. Always was. "Don''t you tell me I''m wrong. I know what I''m talking about, you hear me? And I say you''re stronger than anything those asshole devs can put you through. Stronger than whatever your own mind can put you through." The shaking gets worse, until I''m trembling so hard, I worry my bones will shatter, will rattle right out of my skin. The warm, strong arms hold tighter, hold me together, keep me from falling into tiny pieces of stardust and floating away. "Shh, Erebus, baby, it''s okay, you''re okay." "I can''t move," I whisper. "You can, you''re moving. It''s just very slow." Gentle hands card through my hair, move loose strands out of my eyes. "I''m drowning." A sob bubbles out of my throat, and it sounds like drowning. "No, you''re not totally underwater. The water is just dragging you back. You''re letting yourself sink." "Let me sink, then." The voice catches, swallows back a sob of its own, but when it speaks again, it''s firm, fierce. And so warm. "Erebus, you need to stand up, you need to hold yourself up, you can''t give into this." I''m pressed more tightly against a chest, rising and falling in slow, careful breaths. My clouded mind focuses on those breaths, on that rise and fall, and my own lungs try to follow that careful rhythm. "Don''t let yourself sink. Don''t let yourself drown," the voice whispers, and suddenly, I recognize the low timbre. "Kara." The name is hardly more than a breath escaping my lungs. "Rise up," she urges. "Rise above this." I want to. I want to rise to where I stood once before. But then I think of the faces of my old teammates, my old friends. The pity, the irritation, the resignation. I was an inconvenience, an obstacle holding them back, a waste. "You don''t need me. I''m useless like this. I''m going to screw up your run." They''re going to leave me behind. They''re going to go on without me, they don''t need me, they''re better off without me. She''s better off without me. "Nonsense." What? Striking violet eyes stare me down, and I can''t deny the truth zing in them. "We wouldn''t even be here, running this Nightmare if it weren''t for you. You may not be at your A-game right now, but even your B-game is worlds above what average yers can hope to achieve. And this is temporary. You''ll be back to 100% in no time; we want to be there when you are. Got to see this through." I want to believe her so badly it''s a physical ache deep in my chest. She repositions herself, and her arms release their viselike grip. "Retract your wings," she instructs, so I do. "You''ve carried us all this time," she murmurs. "Let us carry you for a bit." Then her arms tighten once again, and I''m lifted out of the cold, gray water. "WHAT?!" Shock pulls me more into the present than any whispered admonishments had. "What what?" she teases and takes off at a brisk run. "You expecting Nightfury to carry you like the pretty pretty princess you are?" "Um," I say eloquently. Kara snorts, and it reminds me so much of Xiuying, my heart hurts and I want to hold Kara even tighter. "I''m the only one with a +40 Strength stat, sweetie. And though you''re hardly an inconvenience, if we want to beat those Horseman bastards, we have to hustle a bit more than you''re capable of in your current condition." She smiles and leans her beautiful face so close to mine, I almost have a second panic attack right there and then. "Besides," she continues in a conspiratorial whisper, "we''ve cut off our poor viewers'' sound. Least we could do is give them a show." Her violet eyes sparkle with mischief, and I can''t help but grin back, though my smile feels like a small, trembly thing. It must be enough for Kara, though, because her own smile deepens, and her face leans in even closer, and my breath catches in my throat but this time it has nothing to do with fear or anxiety; it''s pure anticipation. *DINGGG* A bright shing notification box shes in between our faces, scaring the shit out of both of us. {Aether Alert: Elevated Heartrate, Hyperventtion, Elevated Adrenaline, Elevated Blood Sugar DetectedPanic Attack Suspected. You will be logged out in 10 seconds.} ''YOU COCKBLOCKING SONUVANo. No no no! I invoke my Chaos Incarnate Title and ask for an alternative!'' {...That''s not how that Title was intended to be used.} ''I don''t give a rat''s ass! I need to get back to what I was doing literally two seconds ago! And I need to finish this fucking dungeon.'' {To prevent further distress, you were not logged out immediately after your symptoms presented. But protocols state that since you are no longer in the worst throes of the attack, you are therefore ready to be logged out. You need to be evaluated.} ''What I NEED is the privacy to kiss the goddamn girl of my dreams. What I NEED is to clear this raid and stick it to the Horsemen. What I NEED is time. Time to clear the Dungeon and get somewhere safe for the forced log-out. If you pull me now, it''s going to look like I died, and for all intents and purposes, that will be true. I won''t get my survival rewards, I won''t get the EXP I deserve, and thousands of viewers are going to think I''m weak.'' There''s silence. Finally... {Request epted. You have 30 real-world minutes toplete whatever you need and get to a ce you feel safe for log out. I calcte that should be plenty of time for you to finish this Dungeon, one way or another.} ''Hey, I resent that implication. We''re going to survive this dick of a Dungeon.'' {As you say. Best get a move on, then. Time starts now.} Chapter 92: Dumb Ass Jokes Chapter 92: Dumb Ass Jokes (A/N: This chapter begins at the same moment as the previous, then continues the storyline.) --- "It''s a panic attack." Nanuk''s steely expression hardens. "Are you sure?" He''s asking Nightfury, but he''s also instinctively moving before the answeres, doing his part to hide their fallen teammate from view of those who don''t deserve to see a god crumble. He''s asking Nightfury, but it''s Kara who responds. "Yes." Her voice is certain, unshakeable...but there''s a fissure, a miniscule crack in her expression, and it leaks out into that single syble, and Nightfury doesn''t know her, not really, but he knows that fragile certainty, knows what she''s saying beyond her words. "You too, Kara?" he asks quietly. For a split second, her violet eyes dim, haunted by ghosts and nightmares. It''s gone as quickly as it came, but it was there, and Nightfury saw, and Kara knows that he saw, and that should worry her, but she saw, too. She saw the tightness of his angr jaw, saw the shadow sh across his crimson-scaledplexion, saw the understanding in his golden eyes. She knows, now, that she''s not the only one haunted by ghosts. She nods, once, tersely. He nods back, gently. Nanuk takes Kara''s hand, squeezes it, out of sight of the camera. Taliesin shifts into a shadowcat and rubs against Nightfury''s side. One moment. One breath. It''s all they allow themselves. It''s all they have time to allow themselves. One deep breath. Then they exhale, and it''s as if nothing has ever gone wrong for any of them before. They switch gears seamlessly: lighten their postures, brighten their faces,ugh to show they haven''t a care in the world. The performance is on. Kara drops to Erebus, determined to help him find his breath, too. She gazes into his vivid gray eyes, and not for the first time, she feels that sh of familiarity, as if she knew this precious boy in a previous life. Or maybe she simply recognizes herself in his pained, tortured expression. Recognizes what she sees in the mirror on her own bad days. Either way, it''s up to her to ease Erebus''s troubled mind, and she''ll allow nothing to distract her. The others leave her to it, knowing they can''t all help without overwhelming their leader even more. Knowing, instinctively, that Kara will know the words to heal. The guys take off to attract the next mobs, (and thereby attract the LiveStream camera) to give Kara and Erebus space and privacy. Taliesin shifts back to human, and Nightfury tussles his hair, a silent thank you for the quietfort he''d given earlier. "Erebus is the biggest asshole in Viren''s Refuge," he says to start off their nning session. Nightfury''s voice crackles with concern, but his lips curve up into a smile, and it''s only partially an act because honestly, that statement doesn''te close to encapsting Erebus''s ce in this game, and fuck if he doesn''t find Erebus''s assholery secretly endearing. He continues, ensuring everyone understands the gravity of the situation. "Him soloing that raging mob outside thest Dungeon is the only thing saving us from being targeted by everyst yer in the game. If they thought he was vulnerable, if they thought they could attack him..." ''We can''t let anyone know.'' They all think it, and this knowledge spurs them into action. It''ll be a hot minute before another team can defeat that Hidden Boss, so they figure they should be able to fake the Counter-Curse''s effects for now. They decide to make it seem like the Counter-Curse is nothing more than a temporary Severe Injury Pain State followed by a Severely Weakened State that onlysts the length of the Dungeon. Erebus will have to fake it hard when they get out of the Dungeon, but if anyone can, it''s their insane leader. "I feel bad," Taliesin admits in a downcast murmur as he half-heartedly slices a grindylow into pieces. "My first thought when I heard that jerk Lantern Man''s final words was ''Ha! No way some dumb curse is going to bother Erebus. Heck, I bet he uses it to somehow break the game again!''" "Don''t feel bad for thinking that," his brother admonishes. "Yeah kid, hell, we ALL thought that," Nightfury gruffly agrees. "I bet the viewers STILL think that. It''s Erebus. It''s his whole persona, his schtick." "Besides, who''s to say he won''t still find some way to retaliate?" Nanuk adds with a wry smile, freezing three mobs for Taliesin to stab. Taliesin huffs augh, recognizing the truth of his brother''s words, but it''s not the exuberant, joyful sound it usually is. He can''t get that scream out of his head. He''s never heard a sound like that. He''s never heard pain like that. Nightfury moves next to him, a solid presence. The Draegkyn attacks, four headshots in rapid session, then looks down at Taliesin, and there''s a savage gleam in his draconian eyes. "Who''s to say we won''t find a way to retaliate for him?" A thrill races through Taliesin at the thought. Vengeance. Yes. He answers Nightfury''s simmering fury with a fierce grin of his own. Nightfury offers his fist, and Taliesin bumps it, securing their pact. "Are you sure they can''t hear us on this tactic channel?" Taliesin asks, worried about anything that might jeopardize their ns. "I know other yers won''t but..." Nightfury nods, definite. "Yes. I turned off Eavesdrop. It was all exined in the expanded LiveStream Details on the main Vir-Tech page." "There were over 30 pages of text; when did you have time to read that?" Nanuk asks, surprised. Shrugging, Nightfury shoots down a crow mob then rubs the back of his neck, self-conscious. "At breakfast. I thought there might be something important in it, and since we were about to do a LiveStream I just thought, well." Nanuk''s speechless for a bit, then he grins, and it seems natural this time. "You''re the quiet, studious type then, huh? Wouldn''t have expected it." "Shut up." Nanuk chuckles. "I''m surprised I didn''t see it sooner, to be honest. You don''t be that socially awkward outta nowhere. You''re a nerd, aren''t you?" Taliesin snorts. "Like you''re one to talk, bro." Nanuk looks affronted. "Shut it, you." "I read that post, too, at breakfast." The quiet, raspy voice immediately draws their attention, and they turn, as one, to see their favorite D''Raven, looking wan and pale and more than a little worse for the wear... ...but alive. Alive and standing tall on the tform they''d unconsciously chosen to fight nearby, just in case Erebus was able to join them. The smiles that break out on Chaos Party''s faces aren''t forced at all this time. "Well, that''s only natural, isn''t it? You''re an even bigger gamer nerd than your lizard boyfriend!" Nanuk calls out as he renews his efforts to take out every mob in the vicinity. "Nanuk, I swear to the gods, if you don''t shut your damn trap" Nightfury grumbles, but his re doesn''t quite do its usual damage since he can''t keep the dopey, relieved smile off his face. His golden eyes slide to meet Kara''s violet gaze. ''Thank you,'' he mouths silently. She shakes her lightly. ''Don''t thank me. Not for this,'' her expression says. And Nightfury gets it. Any one of them would do whatever they could to help that lovable jackass, and none of them would be doing it for the thanks. But still. ''Thanks, anyway.'' Karaughs, and rolls her eyes, and squeezes Erebus''s hand onest time before she dives into battle and pretends she doesn''t have a heart. Knowing he can leave the current mobs up to her, Taliesin immediately shifts back to his cat form so he can leap across the battleground and get up onto Erebus''s tform. Nightfury, Nanuk, and Kara sweep up all the mobs, leaving Taliesin to exin their n to Erebus and keep any stray mobs from attacking. Erebus in turn tells them all about the 90-minute in-game deadline they have to finish the Dungeon. "What the actual FUCK is wrong with this damn game?" Nightfury can''t help but shout, frustrated beyond belief. "I''m angry too," Nanuk says, though his calm voice belies that idea, "but for this, I have to say I agree with the AI. This game isn''t normal, and the yer experience isn''t normal. I''d rather they y it safe and evaluate whether a yer is sound and fit to keep going; it''s better than letting people suffer." "Ugh, get out of here with all that ''Sense'' and ''Logic'' nonsense," Kara groans. Nanuk hides his grin, knowing he''s won this round and deciding to be the bigger person and not gloat. "I can feel you smirking from all the way over here, you smug jerk," Kara gripes, then twists low and pulls off a horizontal Crescent Strike to topple six mobs in one go. Flinching a little, Nanuk turns away from his violent friend and calls out to Erebus, "Speaking of sense, I think it''s time to turn Eavesdrop back on, Boxer Boss! If we keep it off too long, it might look even more suspicious. Everyone, remember not to mention anything incriminating, and ''let it slip'' that Erebus is Severely Weakened until the Boss dies." "Aye aye, Nan," Erebus calls back, and if his jaunty salute isn''t quite as perky and devil-may-care as usual, no onements on it. They''re just d to see he''s on the way back to normal. "Aaaand we''re live, people!" The first thing Erebus does to wee the LiveStreamers back is toss the grindylow Taliesin had just Stunned high into the air for Nightfury to shoot down. Nightfury doesn''t disappoint,nding a perfect headshot on the creature, and the two share a matching victorious grin. Then Nightfury pulls out the silver sk, sends a cheer to the LiveStreamers, and takes a long swallow. "Yeet yeet!" Erebus crows,ughing obnoxiously and putting his hands on his hips. "You look like Captain Underpants mid-goth phase!" Nightfury snarks. "Your ugly ass pink hat shes HORRIBLY with your red hair and dragonscales!" "It''s FADED RED you fucker!" "Ahh, I missed this," Taliesin sighs happily. Kara giggles in agreement. Too thrilled to have the band back together, she''s a tad overexuberant with her next attack and impales three mobs at once with a single motion. Out of habit, she then tosses the mobs over to Erebus to dispose of. Only to immediately realize her mistake. "Tits! Liam, watch out!" Taliesin manages to sh two of the water demons out of the way, but the third rams into Erebus, who is half-a-second too slow getting Zen up. WHABAM!!! The poor water demon is hit with some sort of knock-out spell, takes a buttload of damage, then flies almost 50 meters before crashing into the water with a belly-flop that looks so brutal, it even makes the yers wince in sympathy. In the silence that follows, everyone turns to stare wide-eyed at Erebus. "Hot damn, Arachne," is all he says. "What?" Nanuk, Nightfury, and Kara wonder. "Awesome," Taliesin says, gleaming eyes focused on Erebus''s rose-patterned boxer briefs. Confused, the others follow his gaze and realize the underwear''s pattern is moving. The roses are all more in bloom than before, and they''ve transitioned into a darker, bloodier crimson. Several of the wicked stems are curved like whips, scarlet blood dripping from their thorny tips, and as they slowly retract back to their positions, it suddenly makes sense why that poor demon mob never stood a chance. The silky white background material morphs to shiny ck, making the bloody thorns and petals stand out even more, and Kara''s never thought a flower looked more sinister. Then Erebus turns, trying to get a better look at whatever''s happening to his undergarments, and Kara startsughing so hard she cries. Across the back of the boxers, one word magically appears in hot pink calligraphy: ASS-ASS-IN. "Boxers Bro will forever live on in infamy after this!" Nightfury gleefully proims, taking a screenshot and sending it over the text Party Chat. "Huh? What are youGODS DAMNIT ARACHNE, I AM GOING TO MURDER YOU." Unequipping his own pants to show off his Lucky Shamrock boxers, Taliesin throws a peace sign and winks at the camera. "Boxers Bro limited edition underwearthey pack a punch AND make a statement! Only avable at Silken Strands!" Erebus doesn''t even notice Little Dude''s impromptumercial break, too focused on twisting his torso to re, red-faced at his own ass. "I am NEVER telling her another damn story about Robbie ever again, that sted spider witch." "Yo Erebus, are you sitting on F5?" Kara calls out. "Huh?" Erebus replies, confusion distracting him from his ire. "Cuz that ass is REFRESHING!" she yells, then breaks down, cackling. Taliesin whoops and has to clutch his stomach he''sughing so hard, Nightfury groans at the horrible joke, and Nanuk simply whacks another mob in the head with his staff, choosing to ignore the rest of his party''s shenanigans. Erebus looks shell-shocked. Even if he were at full-capacity AGI, he''d probably still be frozen between absolute horror that he once again has words syed across his ass and overwhelming glee that the hottest woman he''s ever seen thinks his ass is refreshing. Before he can decide where tond, emotionally, Taliesin jumps in. "Ooh ooh this reminds me! I saw the best joke in thements of your Boxers Bro remix." Little Dude ahems to set the mood, then nudges Erebus with his pointy elbow and waggles his eyebrows. "Did you just butt dial? Because I swear that ass is calling me!" Nightfury''s groan is so visceral, the entire world probably feels it. He chugs the sk, and tries to hide his disappointment when he remembers it is not, in fact, alcoholic. Taliesin, predictably, is the oneughing hardest at his own joke. Kara''s giggling hard enough, she almost drops her spear. Then another voice calls out, and she''s so shocked, she actually does drop it. "Arrr, call me a pirate, cuz I''d travel the world for that booty!" "NANUK?!" Poor Erebus is so shook at this point, he has to sit down. Nightfury can''t believe Nanuk has such a good pirate impression. Taliesin''s the only one unsurprised, but he still has to race over and give his big bro a high five. Nanuk''s icy eyes twinkle as he ps his brother''s hand. Then everyone turns to Nightfury. Expectant. And poor boy doesn''t get it at first. "What?" he asks, discreetly wiping his face, worried he may have been sttered by mob blood. The others just keep looking. Even Erebus looks eager. "Oh shit," Nightfury says finally, face reddening as he gets what they''re waiting for. "Um..uhh...er..." He splutters a bit, then forlornly realizes there are officially no more mobs to distract him, and also realizes there''s absolutely zero chance the rest of his dumbass team is going to move on to the next area until he makes a dumb ass joke. "Fine," he huffs, then looks up at Erebus. "Uh...so...I''m an asshole. Will that stop me from getting in yours?" The silence that answers this joke is deafening. Both Erebus and Nightfury turn so red so fast it looks like the game glitched. "BAHAHAHAHA THAT JOKE IS NOT THE SAME, NIGHTFURY." Taliesin is screaming with uncontained delight. Nightfury wishes for the sweet release of death. "Damn dragon, way to go Next Level!" Kara hypes, though it''s hard to hear over her gasping wheezes as sheughs so hard she almost passes out. Taliesin races over to pluck the sk from Nightfury''s ck grip. Schooling his face as serious as possible, he takes one drink, then pours one out into the Bog. "What was that for?" Nightfury asks. Taliesin ces a hand over his heart. "I had to pour one out for all the #eury fans out there who just straight up died." Chapter 93: Treacherous Cliffs Ahead Chapter 93: Treacherous Cliffs Ahead The rest of the Dungeon goes by in record time. Kara purposefully mentions my "Severely Weakened State" and then pretends she''s angry at herself for letting it slip. In response, I ham it up even more than usual, whining that since the cat''s out of the bag already, she should take responsibility and carry me to safety. With a dramatic hand to my forehead I pretend to be dizzyor rather, I pretend to pretend to be dizzy. Between my nonexistent AGI, low SP, and the aftereffects of my PTSD episode, I actually am feeling pretty lightheaded and ill. So I wield my favorite weapon of misdirection: the truth. The more I tell the viewers I''m dizzy and feverish, and the more I bat my eyshes at Kara and stagger into her arms and wink victoriously at the camera when she does eventually carry me through the Dungeon, the more the viewers think it''s all an act. This works out great for us, because it means we can fly through the Dungeon without anyone realizing it''s actually my AGI and anxiety-ridden neuroses that are currently my problem. I Taunt as we go,plete with my Boxers Bro Bonus to drawn even more mobs at once, then my teammates destroy every enemy in our path while shielding me. It''s surreal, to suddenly be the one left on the sidelines while everyone else fights. Though ufortable and frustrating, it doesn''t sting as much as it could. The others keep up a steady stream of chatter, sometimes teasing, sometimes earnest, sometimes simply idly describing the shitty Dungeon weather. They''re mostly doing it to prove to the LiveStream viewers that we''re all unconcerned, confident that we''ll beat this Dungeon and then I''ll be back to normal, Curse-Free. But they''re also partially doing it to keep me entertained and engaged and feeling like I''m part of the group, and that''s...well. It''s nice. Once I limate to my new stats and figure out how to toe the line so I still look "Severely Weakened," I start participating more directly in the raid. No one tries to stop me, since they know I''m a battle manic who absolutely hates sitting still, and also we''re on a time crunch here. ShadowSlice is more useful now than ever. It doesn''t use much of my limited SP, and it stuns the mobs so I can attack the crap out of them without needing to rely on Agility to Dodge or catch up to the quick water demons. I team up with Nanuk, who realizes he can use a super basic Freeze spell on the Bog itself to give me solid surface to stand on when the mobs are too far away from a convenient stone tform. Though without my Agility, I slip, slide, and fall on my ass enough the first few times we try this, I feel like I''m back in the woods outside my Foundation Vige learning how to walk. Ironically, this time it''s my wings that help keep me bnced. I always pretend to be overwhelmed by exhaustion after each foray into battle, to give me an excuse to head back to solid ground or to lean against my teammates for support, all so I don''t sink too far into the water and give myself away. However, I also make that strained-yet-stoic face that says, "I''m powering through; I don''t want anyone to know how difficult this is." So if anything, I''m probably making myself seem even more hardcore to the viewers. Little Dude and Kara have me beat in the overall hardcore badassery category, though. In a show of bizarre solidarity, Taliesin has yet to re-equip his trousers, choosing instead to continue battling in his shamrock boxers. He''s a fierce little whirlwind, flying around with his gleaming Excalibur, shooting lightning in human form and breathing fire in demon form andughing ever more cheerfully the more dangerous it gets on the way to the Boss. By the time we hit the Boss''s Antechamber, he''s doing almost ten times the Damage Nanuk and Nightfury are, and he''s spending as much time in the Red Zone as I usually do. Nanuk''s concentrating so hard on timely Heals, the game animates sweat drops on his pale forehead. Kid is a fucking BEAST. And yet, not even he can keep up when Kara Geir kicks it into her own Beast Mode after we finally hit the Boss. Luckily for me, the Boss fight is mostly on solid rock. The Boss "Chamber" is enclosed by imprable mist on all sides, and is a circr space of gleaming, wet uneven rock surrounding a single murky pool of water, so deep it looks like tar. Yet another insta-death sinkhole, it''s their of the Beast: [ KELPIE, WATER DEMON LORD ] [Level 18 - HP 100,000/100,000] This Kelpie is a fearsome green-and-ck horse with glowing red eyes, a mangled seaweed mane, and hooves that face backwards. ording to legend, it''s a shapeshifting monster that tricks unsuspecting travelers into riding on its back or following it in human or horse form to its wateryir; then it drowns them, eats their flesh, and spits the entrails back onto shore. Fun times. Kara gets the brilliant idea to use that legend to our advantage, so she ignores all our misgivings, sheathes her weapons and unequips her armor, and then nonchntly starts walking around the watery pit of doom, whistling. Every time I fought this Boss in the beta, I came in weapons drawn, because duh. It''s a friggin'' Boss Chamber. And the Boss always delivered. He''d lunge out of the water with a mighty chomp, ready to drag me to a watery hell. Kara''s n, however, changes the Bossbat AI. Everyone else is shocked, but I understand this game is more nuanced than it seems, and there are secret algorithms linked to folklore knowledge all throughout the gamey. So when the Kelpie silently rises out of the water in HUMAN FORM (even though it never shapeshifted in the beta) and approaches Kara with a sly smile, I don''t lose my shit like the rest of Chaos Party. I just grin in anticipation of Kara wrecking this too-smooth fucker''s shit up. She doesn''t even draw her dagger this time. She just sucker-punches the dude in the face. I whistle in appreciation. She smirks, then smoothly unsheathes her spear and stabs the Kelpie in the dick. "You are so hot," I say. "Yes," she agrees, as she twists the spear. All four of us guys wince in unison and instinctively cover our junk. Taliesin re-equips his pants for extra protection. I''m not sure if I''m hiding to protect Little Lieu or because I''m worried Little Lieu might get too excited for public decency. I want to run away and also marry this woman on the spot. "Now!" Kara calls, and all four of us step into Aggro range to deliver our prepped ranged attacks on the skewered Boss. He lights up like a pyrotechnic Christmas tree, and Kara yanks her spear free to roll away and re-equip her gear. Letting loose an enraged howl, the Kelpie returns to his natural equine beast state, and the battle is on! Throughout it all, Kara never loses her carefully-won Aggro and lives it up as a high-DPS tank. Honestly, the entire fight is practically a one-woman show, us four dudes left as enthusiastic backup. I fall into my Leader role without much thought, shouting warnings for the myriad major attacks the Kelpie has at its disposal, directing coordinated Party attacks, andmanding Kara''s solo strikes when ranged spells block her view. The usual. The other three focus on their ranged attacks, since no one other than Kara has a strong melee weapon with the range of her spear. The Kelpie is a notoriously bad match-up for up-close fighters like martial artists and swordsmen, since its mane can ensnare you, its sharp teeth can gore you, and when it rears up in anger, its huge hooves crash down and crush you. Plus, all of those attacks end with you being pulled or thrown into the insta-death watery grave. Not ideal. Traditional wisdom has Parties kiting the water demon, or sacrificing a Party member or two to keep its attention while the rest of the Party unleashes ranged attacks or reserved spells. To the casual observer, it may look like we chose thetter, except Kara is about as far from a sacrificial pawn as it''s possible to be. She''s more like a chess Queen, zooming across the board, wreaking havoc and wrecking shit. Since I''m the clear weak link, can only move a single space to her ten, and I''m watching over the entire battle from the back line, guess this makes me her King. The uncharacteristically whimsical thought makes my stomach do some funny flips and my pulse quicken, and all I can do isugh at my incredibly poor crush timing. "Ugh, your mid-battleugh is so disturbing, man," Nightfury tells me. My grin turns smirkier and I throw Whistling Starfall without looking, just to be annoying. Boom, Kelpie Headshot. Nightfury''s clenched jaw and vexed grumble give me life. I wave at the general mayhem Kara''s causing andugh even louder. "The best part of all this is that it doesn''t matter that everyone''s watching us beat this Boss; this strategy isn''t replicable. How the hell is anyone supposed to pull off this crazy shit Kara''s doing right now?" Everyone else looks at me like I''m an idiot. "What?" I say, self-conscious. "Dude," Taliesin says, before running off to sh at the Boss. "Dude," Nightfury agrees, shaking his head as he shoots an exploding arrow. "Dude." Nanuk looks like he wants to shake me and also maybe give me a high five. "You do realize that is LITERALLY what everyone thinks about every video you make, right? Nothing you do is EVER replicable." "Oh," I say, releasing a Smite on the Boss tobo with Kara''s own Ultimate. "Good point." Nightfury and Nanuk stagger into each other and groan. I throw them a cheeky grin and a "V" victory sign and skip over to a better vantage point for the final Stage of the Boss fight. It doesn''t take a full minute for that smirk to fall off my face in heart-stopping shock. The Kelpie picks up speed for his final attack, but Kara keeps up like it''s second-nature. It''s hard to see at first because it''s still early game, so she doesn''t have too many Skills at her disposal, but once I notice her technique, I can''t un-see it. How could I? It''s the skill I became known for at my first Worlds. Cancel Camouge. Since she held aggro the entire fight, the Boss''s AI was able to adapt and start anticipating her attacks. She''s countering that by starting skills and drawing the Boss''s attention, then canceling them mid-strike anding at the Kelpie with an entirely different attack. Moreover, she''s using skills with shy opening animation to hide her simpler real attacks, since this game has ag between canceling a skill and dissipating the skill''s glitzy effects. Without realizing what I''m doing, I move closer to the fight, immediately syncing up with Kara as if I''ve been doing it for years instead of hours. I use my CC Breath of the Dying fog spell to slow the Kelpie closer to my current speed, and also to add more confusing visual effects to the battle. Kara starts a high-slice skill to draw the Kelpie''s head up, then cancels it and dives for the Boss''s weak ankles, attacking in a circle shpletely hidden beneath the fog. When the Boss inevitably rears up, I''m already mid-leap, waiting with abo strike from Zen''aku. Before I evennd, Kara''s already initiated another Skill. We both want this strike to hit, so I Taunt and ignite Will o'' Wisps to throw the Kelpie off-bnce and wrench the Aggro to myself. I seed in stealing the Boss''s attention, and he drops to all fours without looking away from my glowing form. Before he can thene at me with a vicious attack, he''s raised into the air and howling in pain and rage, held aloft by the end of Kara''s spear. She''s still underneath the great beast, and she used his distracted attention to easily avoid his hooves and his downward momentum to fully thrust up through his tough hide. Impale. My heart thuds so loudly in my own ears, itpletely drowns out the sounds of battle. It feels like the world''s moving in slow motion, as if Kara''s holding the Boss for an indeterminate eternity. Then when she''s mming him down onto the uneven rocks, it feels so slow, I can see every individual pixel making up the Kelpie''s murderous face. I attack on instinct, drawn into this battle with Kara while nostalgia runs hot through my veins. The eleven-strikebo I pull off isn''t one I''ve ever tried in a video game before; it''s a series of moves learned long ago, without swords, in a quiet dojo facing off against my strongest rival and ally. In the stunned silence following my impossible attack, molten violet eyes meet mine, and everything else falls away. "Xiuying?" Her answering gasp somehow sounds louder than the Kelpie''s death throes and the Boss music''s crescendo and our fellow Party members'' cheering. "Eric." Chapter 94: Cancel Camouflage Chapter 94: Cancel Camouge The wave of nostalgia washes over Kara, and she''s suddenly twelve years old again, teaming up with her best friend against a sea of monsters on a vintage console. It hurts, remembering. But for the first time in years, the pain is tempered by a wee warmth, and she allows herself to enjoy the memories of another life. ''Why now?'' she absently wonders. Then her gaze locks onto gray eyes bright with mischief and joy, and she knows the answer lies with this boy, this stranger who feels like anything but. He is haunted by shadows, but it''s his light that haunts Kara. Her own ghosts ride the curve of his confident smirk, the almond shape of his expressive eyes, that particr shade of grayall features she''s only ever seen on one other face. Riding high on inspiration long buried, refusing to overthink it, she lets habit take over. No Skill is so special it can''t be cancelled. No Spell is so perfect it can''t be abandoned halfway through its cast. The more the Kelpie rages in frustration, the higher she feels and the smoother she moves. ''Revel in their confusion. Soak up their despair. Sow Chaos, and strike.'' The words echo in her mind, blocking out all else. She delivers on the mantra, and somehow, Erebus does as well. He''s not simply keeping up; he is as much an active part of the chaos as Kara is herself. And it''s right at the edge of her grasp, the knowledge of who this human incarnation of chaos must be, but something (fear, guilt, anguish, pain) holds her back from making that final mental leap "Xiuying?" he chokes. The name she''s refused to acknowledge for over two years, even in her own mind, acts as a slingshot, flinging her headfirst off the safe cliff she''d hidden atop ever since that night. The night when fire lit the sky crimson and blood soaked the ground ck beneath a towering Space Needle. Suddenly, there''s not enough air, and there''s no more noise or Boss or Dungeon, nothing but those piercing gray eyes. So familiar. "Eric," she gasps. Anything else she might want to say is cut off then, by the Boss''s final attack. Except she''s not the one holding aggro anymore. Gleaming teeth chomp down on Erebus''Eric''sarm, and he''s stock-still, agonized shock freezing even his glistening wings, and Kara''s heart is in her throat. Not his arm. Not again. "No!" she thinks she screams, but her voice is choked by horror, a hoarse whisper at best. WHABAM! Blood-streaked thorny vines whip the Kelpie before he can inflict any damage, and the Boss goes flying, exploding into a burst of blue fractals mid-air. The Ass-Ass-In strikes again. Arachne strikes again. Yet another truth Kara hadn''t wanted to believe settles upon her. It really is her. Arachne is here. Of course she is. This world is tailor-made for that remarkable woman. Arachne is here, keeping Eric safe. And Arachne will never trust Kara to do the same. She shouldn''t. Kara can''t keep anyone safe. Notifications fill her vision, a tug in her navel signals teleportation, and then she''s blinking at a bright, sunny sky outside the murky Bog. They''ve set a Dungeon record, one that will likely stand for years, but the run still took over three hours, so the sudden appearance of the Sun is blinding. She''s grateful for that. Yet another distraction she can use to her advantage. Eric''s just as overwhelmed and needs time to regain his bearings before he can speak again. It gives her the precious seconds she needs to process and then cancel the feelings and words threatening to spill from her lips. Ruthlessly, she shoves the tumult of emotions crashing within her chest back, down into the deep recesses of her heart. She doesn''t deserve to feel them. She doesn''t deserve Eric. "Is it possible? Xiuying?" Eric still sounds halfway ready to pass out. She''s out of time. She''s not ready, but she never is. Good thing lyinges easy as breathing. The cheerful, unconcerned smile on her face might be the biggest lie she''s ever told. Cancel Camouge at its finest. "Should''ve realized it was you from the get-go. Haven''t changed a bit, have you?" She pokes the forehead wrinkle of his surly frown, knowing the harsh expression is simply a mask for his anxiety and inner turmoil. His skin is warm, and soft, and she immediately regrets the instinctive touch. Distance. We need distance. It''s for his own good. She pulls her hand back, hides the trembling fist behind her back. Her voice is light, gently teasing. "Just as cantankerous an old man as ever, huh?" It''s stunning, watching the confusion and trepidation coiled so tightly within his handsome frame suddenly snap and fade to nothingness, leaving him lighter and looser than she''s seen him since the beta. Recognition brightens his entire face, and a genuine smile crowds out his usual smirk. Eric Lieu is not the darkness. Eric Lieu is light and joy and warmth. Just like his sister. ...Just like his sister used to be. Before Kara made a mistake, and Xiuying''s light was snuffed out, and Eric''s light was dimmed to almost nothingness. "By the Gods, Carmen Rose!" Eric/Erebus shouts, overwhelmed by the surprise reunion. "I never thought I''d see you again!" Strong arms encircle her, and Carmen/Kara allows herself this moment, pretending it''s to keep up appearances, but really it''s because she''s weak. Always has been. But no more. She breathes in the spicy, warm scent of the man she knows now she could have loved, and promises herself, and Xiuying, and the universe itself, that she won''t make the same mistake again. She''ll stay away from Eric Lieu. She''ll make sure his light never dims again. Carmen Rose is the real darkness. Chapter 95: Five Lies and a Truth (1) Chapter 95: Five Lies and a Truth (1) (A/N: To be clear, Kara Geir = Carmen Rose IRL) --- | Lie One - 12 Years Old | It''s Carmen Rose''s first day in a new city, in a new school, in a new life. It''s also the first day she is called a bitch, but it will hardly be thest. "We''re headed to the mall. Come with us!" invites three boys from ss who stop her on the sidewalk outside the middle school. They''re smiling, enthusiastic, and for the millionth time, Carmen wishes her guardians weren''t so overbearing and strict. Her violet eyes pass over the other groups of kids heading off in various directions, and she wonders what it would be like to be able to hang out after school, or join a club, or have a friend. She shes the boys an apologetic smile. "Sorry, I can''t. My parents say I have to go straight home." "It''s just shopping and a movie. They won''t care. C''mon!" The wheedling voices grate against Carmen''s ears while one boy grabs her arm, and her smile slips before she can paste it back in ce. "I''m sorry," she repeats, even though she''s not sure she is anymore. The apology is more a reflex this time, a way to deflect and de-escte. "They really do care, so I really can''t." The boys aren''t smiling anymore. Rejection turns them ugly. "You''re just a stuck-up bitch!" Carmen flinches and pales, suddenly nauseous. She''d never noticed before, but "bitch" is such a violent word, an auditory assault. The hard "b" hits like a punch to the gut, then that sharp "tch" smacks like a p to the face. Carmen had always thought the nursery rhyme "Stick and Stones can break my bones, but Words will never hurt me," was a crock of crap. After years of training, she could dodge physical attacks easy, but words alwaysnded. And they had a habit of working their way deep into the tissue; bruises fade, but cruel words linger, fester. Sticks and stones may hurt the body, but Words decay the soul. A girl''s loud voice cuts through the unpleasant tension. "Oi! Shut the hell up, you limp-dick miscreants!" Two of the boys nche and instinctively huddle in fear. "Gahh, it''s Xiuying! Let''s get out of here!" The third boy tightens his grip on Carmen''s arm and moves her in front of him. "Are you really using me as a shield right now?" Carmen can''t help but ask, disdain coloring her low-pitched voice. "Pathetic, man." Oops. Broke Rose Family Rule #13: Never antagonize. That one''s always been a difficult rule for Carmen to follow. Her sharp tongue has a tendency to get away from her. "Gee, I wonder why she doesn''t want to hang out with you," the girl, Xiuying, says, voice dripping with sarcasm like honey from a hive. The two-sided sass assault is too much for the boy. He flushes in embarrassed anger, and Carmen knows all too well that''s one of the most dangerous kinds of rage. Ites as no surprise to Carmen, then, when his fingers dig deeper into her pale skin and he yanks. Hard. Ites as a huge surprise to everyone else, however, when Carmen digs her heel into the boy''s foot and she twists around and flips him onto the ground. Hard. "Sweet moves, new girl!" Xiuying exims, skipping to stand next to Carmen in case the boys decide to retaliate. They do not. They barely help their friend up off the pavement before they take off, "Ugh, I hate both you bitches!" the third boy spits, limping away as fast as his limited edition Nikes can carry him. Xiuying smirks, arms crossed, somehow seeming to tower over everyone even though she''s half a head shorter than Carmen. "Boy, you ain''t even on my hate level. If you were in the hospital, I would unplug your life support to charge my phone. Byeee!" Then she does that obnoxious little wave where only the fingers move, and Carmen is in awe of how so much sass can fit into one tiny person. As soon as the boys are out of sight, Xiuying rxes her brazen pose and stretches, before turning to Carmen with a crooked smile that seems to hide all the secrets of the universe. For one idiotic moment, Carmen wonders if Xiuying might be rted to the real Mona Lisa. "Hiya, you''re the transfer student, right? I''m Xiuying Lieu, one grade above you." "Carmen Rose. Nice to meet you." She hides how much she really means that behind a small half-smile, and quirks an eyebrow. "Sooo...Miscreants? Really?" Xiuying''s almond eyes crinkle as sheughs, clearly proud of hertest spur-of-the-moment insult. Carmen really likes the sound of Xiuying''sugh; it''s brash and loud and unapologetic, and it invites the entire world tough right along with her. Plus, it makes her gray eyes sparkle. "It''s funnier to use words they don''t understand. I called a kid a nipoop in third grade, and he cried for an hour." Carmenughs at that, but it''s a much quieter affair. She doesn''t have much practice. Xiuying seems determined to give her plenty of opportunities to practice, however. For the next twenty minutes, the two girls walk through the neighborhood, and Xiuying regales Carmen with so many hrious storiesmainly involving her "dorktastic baby brother"Carmen''s face hurts from smiling for real so long, and her abs are sore fromughing. Finally, they reach the intersection where they''d need to split up to head to their respective homes. Xiuying pushes her long brown hair out of her face. "So, do you really have to go home, or were you just making an excuse? I''d love to have youe hang out at my house for a bit, if you can? It''s cool if you can''t though, obvs." It''s clear Xiuying actually means that. Her face is open, friendly, and sincere. She wants to hang out with Carmen, wants to be friends, but won''t hold it against her if she can''t. Her desire for friendship is unconditional. Carmen''s blown away by that. Everything in the Rose household is conditional. She bites her lower lip, and for the first time in her life, Carmen Rose decides to ignore The Rules. "I can hang out for a bit," she lies. The huge grin Xiuying gives her in return makes her feel like she made the right choice. Xiuying links their arms and squeezes excitedly, and carried away, Carmen squeezes right back. She finds it isn''t too hard to hold onto thatforting feeling, even for the next two months she spends grounded. Chapter 96: Five Lies and a Truth (2) Chapter 96: Five Lies and a Truth (2) | Lie Two - 15 Years Old | "Ehhh, it burns," Eric Lieu grumbles, blinking rapidly, his usual surly frown stered on his too-pale face. "It''s called daylight, kiddo," Xiuying Lieu chirps back, undeterred by her brother''s usualints. Her tanned skin glows in the sunshine pouring in through Eric''s now-open window. It hadn''t been an easy feat, this time. He''d actually gone so far as to nail the sucker closed. Carmen''s almost impressed, though his truly awful construction skills detract from the overall effect. She''s pretty sure only three of the seventeen nails actually went through both the window frame and the sill. She shakes the jar holding all the nails that weren''t too bent for Xiuying to remove. "Excessive much?" Eric''s frown deepens, and he drops his gaze to fiddle with his Rubik''s Cube. Carmen and Xiuying share a grin, knowing that particr look means the kid''s embarrassed. A strong breeze flies in, scattering the disorganized papers on Eric''s school desk. He jumps up from where he''s sitting at his holoputer desk, which is immacte and organized down to thest wire, to snatch up the sheets of unfinished homework now littering the carpet. The grumpy pout he gives Xiuying is so hriously adorable, Carmen has to bite the inside of her cheek to keep fromughing. Xiuying just ruffles his hair and helps him gather the loose papers. "I wouldn''t have to open the window so wide if you hadn''t painted the ss ck like a psycho." "I wouldn''t have to paint them if you wouldn''t keep ripping open the ckout curtains so all the natural light res on my screens," Eric gripes back. "Fine, then go for a walk with us and get some fresh air that way, and you can hole up in your dark gamer cave all you want after." Eric gestures with the stack of papers. "I have homework." Xiuying snorts. "I''m calling bullshit, baby bro. That new gameunches in an hour, right?" His shoulders hunch, and he huffs, knowing he''s caught. In the end, Xiuying manages to drag him out for at least enough blocks to hit up the market and stock up on snacks for his inevitable all-nighter. Carmen and Xiuying buy enough candy, cookie dough, and chocte milk to induce a diabetica, even though there''s no way they''ll be able to eat it all before Carmen gets called home. The girls like to be prepared, just in case one day Carmen''s parents actually let her sleep over. They make it back with twenty minutes to go untilunch, and Eric practically ms his door in their faces. The sunny glow peeking out from under his door disappears a few secondster. "Your brother is a scrawny punk with the soul of a cantankerous old man," Carmen says fondly, loud enough to know Eric hears her. "Isn''t it hrious?" Xiuying agrees. "Barely twelve years old, and I half-expect him to yell at me to get off hiswn any day now." The muffled "Bite me, Flower Power," tells them he heard just fine. Eric had dubbed them the Flower Power Duo a couple years ago, since they both have names with have floral connotations. (Xiuying means "gentle flower," and Rose means, well, "rose.") Giggling, the girls head down the hall to Xiuying''s room. "The day he actually stops gaming long enough to get a good look at you, it''s gonna be game over, you realize?" Xiuying says once they getfy on the bed, snacks spread around. "He can only talk to you so easily now because he doesn''t yet realize you''re super hot." Carmen rolls her eyes and spoons raw cookie dough into her mouth. "Oh really? And how do you know he''ll find me attractive? Just because you do..." Xiuying grins, not denying it. "We have the same taste. What can I say, the Lieu siblings recognize hotness." Carmen looks doubtful. "Didn''t he have a crush on Sasuke?" "Okay, his taste in men is suspect. But I think all taste in men is suspect, so we were gonna agree to disagree on that regardless." "Except Sebastian Michaelis." Xiuying pops an m&m into her mouth. "Doesn''t even count. He''s practically an incubus, canonically. Walking sex is walking sex, doesn''t matter which team you y for." "Facts," Carmen agrees. "Baby bro is mostly straight though. He''s anime crushed on everyone from Asuna to Raphtalia to that crazy Toga chick in BNH." Carmen nods. "I can see it. Crazy and hot is still hot. Turns out your brother and I have simr crush aesthetics. I actually had a Sasuke phase, too." Xiuying groans into her milk ss. "Ugh. Of course you did. Now I''m d you aren''t allowed to date. It never would have worked between us. You''re officially too straight for me." The tone is teasing, but both of them know what''s hiding behind the light words. The atmosphere gets heavy, and Carmen knows what her best friend''s trying to say. She repositions herself until they''re sitting back-to-back. She can''t look at those gray eyes right now. "You know we can''t, Xiuying," she whispers, leaning her head back onto Xiu''s shoulder. Xiuying lets out a long breath and leans back as well. "I know. But I still wish..." Carmen knows what Xiuying wants to hear. The truth fills her mouth, desperate to escape. And then she swallows the words, ''I wish for it, too,'' and they settle heavy on her heart. Lie by omission. That night is thest time Xiuying asks to hear it. Carmen pretends she''s relieved. --- | Lie Three - 18 Years Old | Carmen shows up at Xiuying''s dorm in the middle of the night. She doesn''t know what she''s doing, doesn''t know how she even managed to run from her house, her parents'' angry shouts following her onto the dark street, but the second the door opens, relief floods her veins. Xiuying will know what to do. "It''s your parents again, right? I thought you were going to tell them you wanted to go to uni. That you didn''t want to just fall in line with the bullshit Life n they made for you!" Carmen swallows, and her voice is small and sad. "I tried." Xiuying''s voice is, predictably, big and loud and angry. "This isn''t a try situation, Carmen! This is do or die. This is your life!" "You don''t understand!" "You''re right. I don''t. I will never understand why you let them dictate every facet of your life." Tears fill Carmen''s vision, and she wipes them away, angry and frustrated and overwhelmed. Xiuying gasps, and Carmen realizes this is the first time she''s ever seen her cry. It must really freak her out, because Xiuying moves them both to the couch and speaks in a soft voice. "Help me understand." And it''s there, at the tip of Carmen''s tongue. This is hardly the first time these words have fought to escape her strict silence, hardly the first time she''s wanted to just let go and tell her best friend everything. Fuck the Rules. She takes a deep breath, steels herself toy her secrets bare "Xiuying? Is everything okay?" a beautiful voice, thick and muddled with sleep, calls out from the bedroom. Carmen freezes. "I thought your roommate was studying abroad this semester?" Something shes in Xiuying''s gray eyes. Guilt. "I was going to tell you," she murmurs. "When I came to visit over winter break." The bedroom door opens, and a sleepy yawn filters out from the darkness. "Honey? Is something wrong? Want me to put on the tea?" A petite woman with jet-ck hair, tousled from bed but still expertly framing her heart-shaped face, andrge, vivid blue eyes shuffles into the living room. "Carmen, meet Arachne. My girlfriend." And the guilt is still there, for not saying something sooner, for not preparing Carmen for this meeting, but it''s a small fraction of the emotion spilling from Xiuying right now. Mostly, she exudes happiness, adoration, contentment. Love. Arachne''s face lights up in recognition, and she smiles warmly. "Xiuying talks about you all the time. It''s wonderful to finally meet you!" "I''m d to meet you, too," Carmen lies. It must be convincing, because both women look relieved and start chatting as if this were any other normal visit. They bustle around the kitchte, putting on the kettle, pulling out oversized mugs and a sweet cat-face teapot, and generally moving with a casualfort that causes an ache in Carmen''s gut. "I have to go," she hears herself say, though it sounds far away. Xiuying and Arachne look at each other, and their easy, silentmunication just causes the ache to increase. Arachne slips back into the bedroom to give them privacy, and Xiuying rushes over to grip her hand. "No, stay, we''ll talk this out. Figure out a n for dealing with your parents." Carmen shakes her head. "It''s fine. I have a n. Follow the n." "But you don''t want to!" "People do things they don''t want to do all the time, Xiu," Carmen says, suddenly tired. She pulls back her hand and pretends not to notice the hurt that shes across her friend''s face. "That''s life. That''s my life." "It doesn''t have to be!" Carmen wants to scream, to cry, to smash that stupidly cute teapot into a million jagged pieces. Instead she just smiles. "I''ll be fine. I know what I''m doing. It''s what I was raised for, after all. Be happy, Xiu. Be loved." She leans over, kisses Xiuying''s cheek, and with a final, shaky breath, she leaves. Chapter 97: Five Lies and a Truth (3) Chapter 97: Five Lies and a Truth (3) | Lie Four - 20 Years Old | Two years to the dayter, Carmen once again shows up at Xiuying''s door in the middle of the night. This time, however, she''s not knocking on the crooked metal door of a cramped dorm room. Xiuying has moved to a swanky apartment in a waterfront high-rise, and Carmen doesn''t make it past the Lieus'' front door. "How''d you find me?" Xiuying doesn''t sound surprised, just t and resigned. Her short frame fills the cracked-open doorway. The chain lock stays attached. Carmen shrugs, tone airy, as if she isn''t scared shitless by the very real possibility Xiuying will never let her through that door. "Hacked into Digital Discord''s team database and found your address." Xiuying''s unimpressed frown deepens. Carmen sighs and runs a hand through her hair. It''s shorter now, Xiuying notices, shorter than her parents had ever let her cut it. And no longer honey-colored; those straight tresses are as violet as her eyes. "Fine," Carmen gives in, finally opting for the truth. "I called your mom. Pretended to be a school friend of Eric''s worried about his new lifestyle who wanted a chance to convince him to ''give up his silly dream'' and finish high school." Xiuying inhales sharply then lets out a low whistle. "Fuck. Well yed." Carmen leans against the doorjamb. "I know." "How''d you even know they kicked him out?" Carmen snorts. "Every petty-ass photo you texted them, you also posted on social media, for a full fucking year, girl. Your captions were brutal, yet informative." Carmen sounds impressed, because she is, and Xiuying looks proud, because she is. Xiuying unhooks thetch and pushes the door open, giving Carmen just enough room to enter. "If you''ve been social media stalking us, you know Eric''s away at a tournament." "Yep." "So are you here to apologize for dropping off the face of the fucking for two years?" Carmen winces. That''s Xiuying, always straight to the point. "No," Carmen tells her honestly. The hot anger on Xiuying''s face is reced by confused hurt, and Carmen feels like dying. "Not because you don''t deserve an apology, and not because I''m not sorry," Carmen continues in a rush. "I am. More than you could ever know. But I didn''te here to apologize because I don''t know if you want to hear that from me. If I deserve the chance to say it." Xiuying doesn''t know, either. She''s torn between a) holding onto her grudge for life and b) squeezing her ex-best friend silly, pretending no time has passed. For now, she does neither. Instead, she surprises Carmen, who expects to be grilled on why she *did*e, then, if not to grovel. "All right, spill," Xiuying demands, arm crossed. "How''d you finally get out from under your parents'' relentless, creepy-ass control?" "How do you know I left for real?" "You mean, other than the fact that you''re standing in my home at two in the morning?" Xiuying rolls her eyes and steps into Carmen''s space, reaching out to lightly run her fingers through Carmen''s hair. The ends are uneven, and she''s pretty sure Carmen cut it herself. Probably earlier tonight. "Your hair." Carmen''s eyes close and her breath hitches. "You don''t like it?" she whispers. "No, I do. It suits you. But baby girl, this is a break-up hairstyle if I''ve ever seen one." Xiuying yfully tugs before letting the strands fall from her fingers. "You just broke up with your parents instead of a lover. You never do like to do things the way other people do." "Look who''s talking, Lunatic Lieu," Carmen ps back, though ites out a little breathless. She''s finding it hard to focus with Xiuying suddenly so close, after years of seeing her only in dreams and pixels. "Hey, that''s all Eric, now. He''s rightfully taken over the title." Xiuying looks even prouder now, so much prouder of her baby brother than she could ever be of herself. Carmen smiles, acknowledging Eric''s meteoric rise over thest year. He''d taken to pro gaming like he''d been meant for it all along, and he hadn''t let the pressures of the high-levelpetition affect his signature ystyle. Talk of the absent Lieu sibling calms down the tense atmosphere, and the girls take the opportunity to regroup (and remember how to breathe.) Xiuying moves them out of the entryway, deeper into the open apartment, and grabs a couple hard ciders from the fridge. Carmen sips hers gratefully and sinks into an ugly red overstuffed armchair sofortable she decides to immediately buy one for herself... ...as soon as she has a ce to live and somewhere to put it. She drains half her bottle. Xiuying wordlessly slides her cider across the coffee table and goes to grab herself another, plus a couple sses of water. "So seriously," she says once she''s back and settled on the couch. "How''d you finally find the guts to leave?" "Mostly you, of course." Xiuying looks surprised. Carmen offers a soft, crooked smile and tucks her legs up under her. "Your words have echoed in my head since I was twelve years old," she admits wryly. "Hearing about younding that insanelypetitive internship and winning all those tech awards just drove home the point that you were following your own path. And it was leading exactly where you wanted to go." Xiuying hums, thoughtful. "My words were never enough before. And I scored that internship over a year ago. What''s different now?" Carmen doesn''t know whether tough or cry. Why is Xiuying so damned observant? She settles on a quiet huff and rests her head on her knees. "Is it crazy of me to say that cantankerous, dorktastic brother of yours was the final push I needed?" "In what way?" Carmen gestures to the trophies on the mantle, the overflowing bookshelves, the funky posters and art, the cool lights, all the mismatched butfy furniture; this space could not look more like the Lunatic Lieu Siblings belong here if it tried. And Eric had earned this for them both at sixteen years old. "Thest time I saw Eric Lieu, he was a geeky fourteen-year-old homebody. He always had spirit, but he wasn''t like you, Xiu. Going after dreams, standing up for himselfthose things didn''te naturally to him. "I always wanted to be you, Xiu. But I''ve always really been like him. "And then he did it. "He left." Carmen drains the rest of her cider and ignores the water, reaching directly for the second bottle. Xiuying, bless her, doesn''t say a word. "My guardians were overprotective assholes who refused to let me have a life of my own," Carmen continues, "but at least they always knew what I was doing. Your parents were barely around long enough to even know you and Eric were fed, let alone to know they had birthed two freakin'' prodigies." At that, Xiuying smirks a little and toasts the trophy wall behind her. Carmen instead looks at the photos of Xiuying off on her own: living it up at uni, excelling at her internship in Hong Kong, shaking hands with a One World Federation speaker at an international summit. "You relished that independence," she says with a smile. Then she sighs. "But your brother, he craved their attention when they found the time to give it. He''d take scraps from them ande back begging for more. And yet, he didn''t even blink when they said it was their way or the highway. He walked out the door with his mouse, keyboard, and holo, and never looked back." Carmen lets her honest respect show in her voice. "I admire that. And I admire that he proved them wrong within the year, too. Rookie of the Year, League MVP, World Champion... "After all that, I ran out of excuses for why I was still living a life I never wanted. "Sure, I could never be as strong as Lieu Xiuying. "But fuck if I couldn''t be at least as brave as her bratty little brother." At first, Xiuying is frozen, floored by the confession. With a fond sigh, Carmen winks and takes another long drink. The movement snaps Xiuying out of her surprise. She barks out augh, shaking her head in disbelief, then reaches over to clink her bottle against Carmen''s. After a long drink, she flops back into the cushions. "He did look back, actually. Once." "What, when?" "He waited until the parentals left on one of their business trips. Then he made me sneak back in with him to grab all his figurines and his Batman mug." Laughter bursts from Carmen, and it''s the first realugh she''s had in over two years. "Of course. Shoulda known," she wheezes. Xiuying smiles, d to see a tiny fraction of the intense weight Carmen has always carried lessen. Gray eyes meet violet ones, and Xiuying decides it''s finally time to ask, "What happened to you?" A shadow dims those bright purple eyes. "Nothing." "You''re a bad liar, you know." Carmenughs, but it sounds sad. "Funny, sometimes it feels like the only thing I''m good at." Xiuying swings off the couch and kneels on the floor in front of the red armchair. She reaches up to brush Carmen''s choppy bangs out of her face. "Well, you can''t lie to me." Not for the first time, Carmen wishes that were true. "Yes, I can," she says simply. They both know it''s true. "But, I don''t want to anymore," she continues in a pained whisper. Xiuying sits up and leans closer, eye level. "I don''t want you to, either. Let me in. Let me help." It''s why she''s here in the middle of the night, why she risked staying in Seattle when she should be halfway across the world right now. But now that it''s happening, Carmen wonders yet again if she''s really doing the right thing. "Once you''re in, there''s no getting out, you understand?" she says, serious and and harsh. "You can''t un-know what I tell you, no matter how much you''lle to wish you never heard a word of it." "I want to know," Xiuying repeats firmly. "I already know more than I ever thought I''d want to. But you know that. You know who I worked for." Carmen nods. "I''ve only scratched the surface, though," she adds, frustrated. "I want to know enough to actually make a difference." The intensity of Xiuying''s gaze is too much for Carmen. She takes a deep breath and her eyes flit away. Theynd on a picture of Xiuying and Eric, with their matching smirks and twinkling eyes. "If we really do this, it''ll take time. Years, maybe." She nods to the picture. "He can''t know we''re in touch. Can''t know I''m in the city, or even alive. No one can. It''s not safe." Xiuying sits back on her heels. "I''m still with Arachne, you know." Carmen''s heart squeezes, but it''s not as painful as it once was. "I know." "Then you shouldn''t ask this of me. I don''t keep secrets from her. I don''t like keeping secrets from Eric, either, for that matter." Carmen turns to Xiuying again, and for the first time, she doesn''t put up the walls she''s been hiding behind her whole life. The weight of the pain behind her steady gaze almost cripples Xiuying, but she holds firm, refusing to back down. "The price of learning the truth is lying about what you know every day for the rest of your life." Xiuying gasps at the intensity in Carmen''s low, husky voice. "Is that a price you are willing to pay?" Xiuying''s heart thuds in her ribcage, and she feels lightheaded from the buildup of anxiety and shock of seeing her closest friend after so long...but none of that matters. There''s no question in her mind what her answer will be. "Yes." Chapter 98: Five Lies and a Truth (4) Chapter 98: Five Lies and a Truth (4) | Lie Five - 23 Years Old | Three-thirty in the morning, the phone rings, and Carmen grasps at the distraction. Two weeks of nightmares and fitful sleep have left her on the barest edge of sanity. This may be the reason she doesn''t immediately notice that this phone is the private line she has only for Xiuying. The line she keeps charged because she can''t help but hope for a miracle. --- "Hello?" Carmen answers, voice husky and thick with exhaustion. "So it IS you." The voice on the other end washes over Carmen like a bucket of ice water, effectively pulling her from the vestiges of sleep. "Arachne." Carmen''s too tired to sound wary or concerned, even though she has no idea how the woman found Xiuying''s secret phone. She just sounds resigned. "I didn''t see you at the Expo Victims Memorial Service." "That''s because I didn''t go." "You haven''t even visited her in the hospital!" Arachne explodes in a furious screech. Carmen winces but doesn''t move the phone away from her ear. She deserves all the abuse Arachne can dish out. "I can''t." Her murmur is a quiet contrast to Arachne''s outburst. She squeezes her eyes shut, trying to block out the memory that haunts her waking hours. She''d snuck into the hospital before dawn, assuming she''d have the chance to see Xiuying for herself without risking being seen. But someone had beaten her to it. Carmen ended up sliding down the wall outside Xiuying''s open doorway and wrapping herself in a tight ball, frozen in horror and guilt and torment, as Eric screamed and begged and cried himself hoarse at his sister''s bedside. Carmen knew Eric wasn''t supposed to be out of his own bed yet, but he''d clearly finally been told about his sister, and no force in this universe was strong enough to keep him from her side. It was only after Carmen left the hospital that she caught the news report about the extent of Eric''s injuries. Lunatic Lieu would never y professionally again. "It''s not like she''d know if I was there, anyway," Carmen says flippantly, even as her stomach roils in self-hatred. Arachne''s harsh inhale crackles on the line. Carmen steels herself for the inevitable angry eruption. "Bullshit," Arachne spits instead. "Don''t pretend to be a heartless bitch, just so I''ll curse and scream and fulfill your fucked-up masochistic need to be hated. I won''t let you use me like that. It''s too easy for you." ''Damn Arachne. Too damn smart for her own good,'' Carmen silently curses. "I don''t deserve to see her. To see either of them." Arachne scoffs, disgusted by Carmen''s weakness. "You know who did this. Who was it? Who killed all those people? Who hurt Xiuying?" Carmen forces her voice to remain neutral. "Terrorists. Separatists. You''ve seen the news." "And I know that''s bullshit! What the hell really happened? I know you know more than you''re saying." Carmen''s grip on her phone is so tight, her knuckles turn white, but her voice is calm, uncaring. "I don''t. I don''t know anything." Arachne groans angrily. "Then what were you and Xiu working on? You both thought you were being so sneaky, but I KNOW you were in contact thest few years!" "You sound like a jealous wife." "Stop trying to deflect," Arachne snaps, unimpressed. "I trust Xiu. I know you weren''t seeing each other, not like that. But you were meeting in secret. Working on something that had Xiuying more excited than I''ve ever seen her. "But she didn''t just keep it a secret from me. She kept it from Eric. So don''t try to pretend whatever it was wasn''t serious, or dangerous. Especially not now. Not after" "I can''t do this," Carmen cuts her off, as bile rushes up her throat. "You''re upset, irrational." "Fuck you, and fuck those sexist bullshit insults!" "Goodbye, Arachne. Forget we ever talked. Forget you ever knew me." --------------- | Truth - 24 Years Old | "I''m so sorry," Carmen says, and she''s never been more honest in her life. Unfortunately, she doesn''t feel strong enough to say it to Xiuying''s face, even today, on the anniversary of the World Expo Bombings. So she doesn''t open the door. Instead, she speaks the words carved into her heart to the namete outside the hospital room. The apology, years overdue, echoes in the dark ward. It''s nearing midnight, not a soul to be seen. This particr hospital is designed for long-term patients, many inas or dealing with other simr issues, so there''s no need for constant, vignt supervision. They don''t allow walk-in visiting hours either. The staff requires visitors to schedule appointments to see patients. That doesn''t work for Carmen. She can never let her name appear on the visitor logs. Even though she''d given up her identity as Carmen Rose on the night she''d fled her guardians, none of her aliases are strong enough to ensure her safety, and the continued safety of Xiuying. So she''d dodged the ground-floor security by entering through the roof, and she''d made it all the way to the right door, but now that she''s so close, she can''t take the final steps. "It''s my fault. I never should have gotten you involved. I never should havee back." Her voice breaks, and she leans her forehead against the door. "No, I never should have left in the first ce. I should have run away with you when you first asked me, back when we were thirteen." Carmen takes a deep, shuddering breath, and when she speaks again, her voice is strong and firm. "I am so sorry, Xiuying. I can never apologize enough. I don''t even know if you can even hear me, but I believe you can. That''s why I''vee tonight to apologize, and to make you a promise. "I''m going to make them pay. I''m never going to let you down again." Her shaking, pale hand reaches for the door handle. But she can''t do it. She kisses her fingers and touches the illuminated namete. "I love you, Xiu," she whispers. "And I''m sorry. Goodbye." --- Later, Carmen woulde to regret this moment of weakness. If she had found the courage to open the door, she would have known for sure Xiuying couldn''t hear her agonized apologies. Not because she was in aa and therefore deaf to the world. No, Xiuying couldn''t hear because she wasn''t inside the room. More than a year before Vir-Tech flies Eric Lieu to a secret hospital wing on Bainbridge Ind, Xiuying is missing from her long-term hospital ward. When Eric shows up for his scheduled appointment two weekster, however, she''s back in that ufortable hospital bed, surrounded by machines and wires, deep asleep and unresponsive. Nothing to show she''d ever been anywhere else. Chapter 99: Shenanigans Resume Chapter 99: Shenanigans Resume Carmen Fucking Rose. In the virtual flesh. What a small world! A bunch of notifications are going off, but I ignore them to relish this crazy, amazing moment. The hug is warm and wonderful, and somehow even better now that I know for sure the person on the other side of those pixels is a real-life girl! And one with nice, real-life girl things, like boobs and all her teeth. ( *o*)/ (To be painfully honest, I think I''m half-smitten enough that if she had turned out to be a giant, bearded dude named Chuck who lives in his Mama''s basement, I may have still thought about it...But now we''ll never have to know! Hurray!) Since she really is a girl, her avatar is likely urate looks-wise, since she looks almost exactly the same as she did in the beta. This blows my mind because I so DO NOT remember Carmen being this drop-dead gorgeous when I was a kid. I haven''t seen her in almost eight years, though, so it''s possible puberty was REALLY good to her... Or I was just a gamer-obsessed idiot who never fucking paid attention... Guess we''ll never know! I do know, however, that I look almost nothing like my dweeb-tastic 14-year-old self, and I can only thank the gods for that. I lean back in the embrace to get a better look at grown-up Carmen Rose, and I see her searching my face, too. There''s something wistful in her expression, sad, but at the same time, greedy, like she''s trying to memorize my features before it''s toote or something. I''m guessing she''s thinking about Xiuying. We both open our mouths to speak, but before either of us can get a word out, an enraged shout rings out from across the field, and we immediately draw our weapons and drop into defensive formation. My right wing and her left ovep as we both try to step in front and protect the other. Even as my adrenaline pumps in anticipation of battle, my heart soars at how close I feel to this amazing woman at my side. I twirl Zen''aku, ready to take on this next challenge and then the attacker ruins the atmosphere by being an absolute edgelord: "BOXERS BRO! PREPARE TO MEET YOUR DOOM! VENGEANCE SHALL BE MINE!" My eyes roll so hard I''m surprised I don''t get a look at my own brain. "How do you attract all these Extra jackasses?" Nightfury grumbles. Nanuk nods in agreement and sighs. "Hey! I don''t even know this one!" I protest, pouting. Snickering, Taliesin sheathes Excalibur and pulls up his filming function. "Actually, Erebus," he says between giggles, "you do know this guy." I raise my eyebrows in surprise. "I do?" I squint at the guy''s gamer tag: Alexander_the_Mediocre, a Lvl 3 Rakshasa with a mostly-humanoid face. Taliesin nods meaningfully at Zen. "That''s the thief from your first viral video!" "Oh for fuck''s sake," I mutter, rising out of mybat stance. "My quarrel is only with you, Boxers Bro!" the aptly-named thief cries, then turns to Kara. "Fair Maiden, please stand aside so I do not identally bring harm to you." I snort and try to cover it with a cough, but then I see Kara''s expression and can''t hold it in. Wheezing withughter, I step in front of her, this time to protect him, not her. "Yo, Alex, my man," I manage to say, "I get you''re into role-y, but, uh, you''re ying a man-eating tiger demon, not some knight of the realm. And this girl is definitely no distressed damsel." His red-tinged eyes sh, and he straight-up growls at me, brandishing his knife. This might be more intimidating if he wasn''t holding one of the shite Yellow-level knives I thought were letter-openers and sold via the in-game auction house. I bust outughing again, and double over, clutching my stomach. "Arghhh!" Alexander_the_Mediocre roars, and he runs at me. Even without my AGI, I sidestep him without even needing my Dodge Skill. "Whoa, calm down, dude." "NEVER!" he yells, predictably. "I havee to avenge myself! I was locked out of the game for 36 hours because of you; I just managed to get back in! Luckily my friends found me a teleportation scroll so I could seek my revenge!" "You''re one of those people who talk in exmation points, aren''t you?" I rub my poor, abused ears and curse my high Perception that makes his strident yelling sound even louder. "If I have to kill you again, you''re going to be locked out for another 36 hours. The game exined the Curse to you, right?" He bares his fangs and growls again, which I take as a ''yes.'' "You won''t kill me!" he deres, stepping barely more than arm-length away. "I came prepared; I''ve been plotting since the moment I died! I borrowed money from all my friends so I could buy this!" And then he whips out a Blue-Tier exploding rune. Taliesin whistles in appreciation. That sucker''s badass enough to take us all out. I wants it. I needs it. I FangBite the idiot''s wrist to disarm it and steal it before he even finishes his "I am Vengeance!" Monologue. "Hey! That''s cheating!" he whines. I give him a t look. "Says the guy who tried to rob my de from my underwear sheath?" He gulps. "Ooh, let me see the rune," Nanuk says, icy eyes gleaming. I toss it to him, but I forgot AGI affects aim, so the throw is short. Nanuk manages to grab it no problem, but I automatically bend forward to try and catch it as well. Alexander takes the opportunity while I''m slightly off-center to stab me with his dinky letter opener. KABLAM! "Whoops. Shouldn''t have done that," I warn, but of course, it''s toote. Once again, poor Alex_the_Mediocre is auto-in by one of my items. "Boom, Ass-Ass-In-ated!" Taliesin shouts gleefully, zooming in on my lethal undies. "DAMN YOU, BOXERS BROOOOO!" Alex screams dramatically before disappearing into a million blue particles. "Bye, Alex," I wave. "Ooh, goodies!" I cheer when I realize he''s once again dropped one of his stored Items. Leather Greaves (leg armor) this time, that Increase Movement Speed and Enhance any Attacks the attached boots have. "Nice." One of the angry blinking notifications that had popped up after the Boss fight automatically moves out of my periphery into my sight line as I bend over to grab the greaves, but I only have eyes for my prize. I''m grinning and shaking my booty a little since I''m sure Taliesin is still awkwardly zoomed in on my ass. And then I hear the sound effect that still haunts me from Day One: The tinkling of broken ss that signifies an item''s Durability has depleted. I finally focus on the notification and feel my blood run cold. [WARNING! Special Item {Beast Rose Boxers} Attack Uses: 3/3! Durability: ZERO!] ...And that''s how I find out only the game-made underwear are Immortal Objects. Chapter 100: RIP Dignity Chapter 100: RIP Dignity So that''s how I identally sh the girl of my dreams, who also happens to be my long-lost childhood friend, while a minor gets the entire experience on film. If I don''t end up in jail for public indecency, Xiuying is going to murder me when she wakes up. The damn game reads my horrified embarrassment and animates a blush so red, literal smoke rises from my head. Clutching the greaves over my exposed bits, I whirl away from Kara fast enough to get whish. Nightfury snickers. "Aww, Lord of Darkness got so excited from a hug with Kara he blew his panties off." If Smite weren''t on Cooldown from the Boss fight, I would 100% Smite the shit out of that fucking dragon. *Ding!* [WARNING! You have not Unlocked {EXPLICIT CONTENT}! Artistic License has been taken to preserve anatomical dignity.] There are certain things in life you never want anyone taking "artistic license" with. Your dick is definitely one of them. Trepidation squeezes my chest as I move the greaves and peek down to see what in the nine hells "Artistic License" means for Little Lieu... "Kill me," I moan hoarsely. I have no idea whose dignity they''re supposed to be "preserving," but it sure the hell isn''t mine. I consider the way the designers drew the drooping pair on poor Neko-chan the Tanuki to be "artistic license." This is not artistic license. This is not even art. My dick is a fucking emoji. And it''s fucking WINKING. Nanuk coughs awkwardly. "Er...that eggnt is making a very suggestive face" "I FUCKING KNOW." I swipe open my Item Storage so fast you''d think my AGI was 100. Taliesin snatches Kara''s red beanie off her head, so he can hold it over his own heart and mournfully dere, "RIP the final dregs of Erebus''s dignity." "Oi, brat," I growl at Taliesin, who is now shaking withughter, "I am going to kill you." "Not without your AGI you''re not." He justughs harder, and I can''t even do anything about it because my soul has left my body, and I am but a shell of a man. Nightfury shifts ufortably. "You don''t, uh, think everyone''s is like that...?" That shuts Taliesin up. He stares at Nanuk and Nightfury, then all three of them turn in different directions and surreptitiously look down their pants. Nanuk groans. "Eggnt, no face." Taliesin giggles. "Banana, and it''s smiling." Long silence from Nightfury. Then a gruff, "Nothing worth mentioning." "Nuh-uhh, not how this works," Taliesin teases. "What is it, something weird, like a lemon?" "No," Nightfury grumbles quickly. When he realizes everyone, even Kara, is staring at him expectantly, he rubs his face and mumbles, "No fruit. Just a straight-up frowny face." That makes me feel better. "Aww! Grumpy Gus Jr!!" Now it''s Nightfury''s turn to blush crimson. Feeling awkward, he unthinkingly gripes at Kara, "Well, what about you, then?" His immediate regret at asking is animated by actual mesing out of his scaled dragon ears. Kara cuts off his stammered apologies. "It''s all good. I don''t even need to check; Jade and I went to an in-game bathhouse the first day. No emojis for us. Apparently Vir-Tech received the necessary licensing permission, so female avatars have mini Georgia O''Keeffe paintings." I gape. "You mean those oil paintings of beautiful flowers that also definitely look like va" "Yep." Kara beams. "No fair!" Smirking, Kara looks up and offers a quiet thank you to whichever dev was in charge of thedy parts. --- (Back at Vir-Tech Labs, Stacey and her designer friend Aditi high five over a job well-done. They spend the rest of their lunch break making fun of Benji, the artist in charge of the male-presenting avatars.) --- Finally equipping my spare boxers, I feel much calmer. Then I remember which boxers they are. Pink fabric, giant peach with a tilted princess crown, gold, glitter bubble letters spelling out JUICY... I swear I can hear Arachne cackling in my head. I''m not sure this is better than the winking eggnt. [JUICY Boxers] {White} || Whoo-ee! You be lookin'' fiiiine in your sun-ripened short shorts! +3 Vitality, +1 Charisma. Passive Skill: Bubble Butt - Your bottom will look exceptionally good in all trousers, skirts, dresses, and shorts. Auto-Skill: Petty Princess Counter - Induces DITZY DAMSEL Effect. For 10 seconds, Target''s Perception will disappear, and they will be disoriented, scream hysterically, trip over absolutely nothing, and lose 50% of their Defense. Automatically engaged when only boxers are equipped (no trousers) and another character touches you without your permission (whether an attack or not). Attacks Remaining: 3/3 || "Ahh, reminds me of my youth," Kara says wistfully. A spark of mischief wipes away thest of the sadness that had been clouding her expression earlier, and I''m almost d I humiliated myself if it helped her feel better. "I, too, had a phase in middle school where I wore skimpy shorts that said "Juicy" on the ass." I choke. "You did not." "Didn''t I?" She smirks, and it''s almost up to her normal sass level. It''s so easy, the teasing banter, as if we haven''t been apart for thest eight years. "How do I not remember that?!" "You never paid much attention to what I looked like," Kara reminds me, then she frowns. "Mostly you just kicked my ass at every game ever." "Except when you and Xiu would cheat," I remind her with a grimace of my own. "It wasn''t cheating. It was strategy." "It was ganging up on me." She sticks out her tongue, and Taliesin jumps in, "So you guys know each other?" I nod. "She was friends with my older sister. That''s how I recognized her. She was using moves I''ve only ever seen my sister pull off." I grin at Kara. "Thief." She rolls her eyes. "Please. I saw you use both those moves inpetition. You''re the real thief. At least I was actually there when she invented Impale. She got the idea from my manga." While I make fun of her questionable taste in BL, a pensive expression settles upon Nightfury''s face, and he stares at me hard from under the shadow of his floppy hat. Before I can ask what has him looking so constipated, a disturbingly familiar set of too-many hands settle on my head and shoulders. "BINGO, BYE-BYE!" The sound of Princess Peach''s infamous MarioKart soundbite fills the air, and it almost drowns out the freaked-out screech thates out of my mouth as I scramble away from the always-creeptastic Anansi. {Aether Alert: [IMMORTAL OBJECT] Detected! Petty Princess Counter invalid - Attack Aborted! For attempting yet again to harm a God, however, +1 Fortitude Bonus for Pure Ballsiness! Hope it brings youfort when you''re dead.} "That wasn''t my fault!" I yelp at the terrifying tar-ck spider God as I dive to hide behind Nightfury. "It''s the boxers! They tried to kill you all on their own!" Anansi tilts his head in confusion, one handing up to rub his chin while they other three strike poses in different directions. "Dude, that''s themest excuse on the," Nightfury hisses as he elbows me in the gut, hard. "No way he believes you." "But it''s trueee," I wail. Nightfury, the traitor, uses his now-advanced AGI to move away and leave me exposed. Not as exposed as I was earlier, though, so I figure it could be worse. Anansi''s eyes narrow, and he slowly circles me. I gulp, and my fingers itch to draw Zen''aku, but I know it''s useless. He lingers for an extra moment, eyes on the golden letters syed across my arse, and now I feel like I''m being checked out by a spider god, and what the actual HELL is going on with this game?! A too-wide, fang-toothed grin stretches across his face, and I just *know* I''m about to be pounced on and eaten alive.... until Anansi snaps his fingers, and a Princess Peach tiara magically appears on his bald head, bnced at the same jaunty angle it is on my underwear. "Um...?" Then Anansies back round to the front and dives into his "Congrattions on another Nightmare Mode First Clear" speech as if nothing at all weird has happened. I make eye contact with the rest of my Party, and they all look as baffled and off-kilter as I do, so I figure I''m not crazy, the game just is. With a shrug, I give up trying to make sense of anything and thank my lucky stars I''ve managed yet again to get away with attacking a God. "Now, for your rewards," Anansi says, and that snaps my attention back real quick. Everyone else crowds back around me, too pumped about goodies to care about being terrified. He pulls up a Realm Map and highlights a location far away on the Southern Coast. The first reward forpleting the third Nightmare Mode is a special brand-new Dungeon that never appeared in the beta! It looksplex, a multi-leveled Cave Dungeon with at least two mini-Bosses. His loose description of the mobs makes me think they might be bugs of some kind, though, which puts a damper on my excitement. (Don''t judge me; giant bugs are nasty, all right?) For the next reward, Anansi reveals a Nova key, all glittery-sparkly-rainbow-y ooh ahhh color. "Realm Teleportation will officially Open when you Activate the Portal in Tara with this key," he exins. Stars in my eyes, I reach out for it, only for Anansi''s long arm to bypass me and hand it to Kara. He grins wickedly down at me. "Too bad, Party Leader. The Key goes to the yer with the Highest Contribution...and in this Dungeon, that distinction goes to Kara Geir." Sullen, I turn to congratte Kara, ready for her gloat in my face (since that''s exactly what I would do), except she''s not looking at me at all. Rather, she''s staring down Anansi with a deadly smile that''s somehow even more terrifying than his own fanged grin. "I''m not saying I wouldn''t have scored Highest Contribution all on my own," she says stiffly, ignoring the proffered key, "especially with my Kelpie-baiting trick, but we both know this Dungeon wasn''t a fairpetition for this honor." Her voice crackles in simmering rage, and her violet eyes gleam with murderous intent. She is so hot. Anansi returns her deadly gaze with a mischievous grin of his own, twisted and spectacrly creepy. "Oho? You believe an unfair circumstance urred in ckguard Bog?" "The HinkyPunk''s Counter-Curse," she snaps. ''Oh,'' I think, suddenly at a loss. On instinct, I grab her hand. Kara''s done so much for me already, even saved me from the darkness lurking in my own mind. She doesn''t need to stand up for me now and jeopardize her rewards from Anansi. "It was just rotten luck," I say gently, linking our fingers. Her electric gaze doesn''t waver from Anansi. "Bullshit," she says calmly. But her hand squeezes mine tight, and I feel her trembling. I squeeze back, trying to reassure her I''m fine. To my utter shock, it''s Anansi who backs down first, bowing his head slightly as if acknowledging Kara''s rage is justified. The bright jewels on his princess tiara wink in the shifting light. His glittering ck eyes turn to me. "Is there something young Erebus wants inpensation?" "Could I forgo the auto-log out?" I ask hopefully. I really don''t want to waste the time. Anansi shakes his head. "Impossible. The minor deities require you to undergo a full analysis to ensure your safety." I frown, unsurprised but still disappointed. "However," the God continues, "I can give you all this temporary group teleportation scroll. It will allow you to wait until thest possible minute before you travel to your Lodgings in Tara, where your body will be safe during the analysis." It''s not perfect, but at least we''ll be able to wait for Polemos and Company to finish their raid before we have to head out, which is important for mytest n, so I thank the spider god and take what I can get. Kara still refuses to ept the Key, so Anansi magicks it directly into her Inventory. I nudge her in the side and Nanuk kicks her in the ankle to keep her from arguing anymore, in case the fickle Trickster God gets annoyed enough to just keep the damn thing and give it to the Four Horsemen instead. Kara begrudgingly listens, but the fiery anger is still bright on her face. To hurry things along, Taliesin then asks about the next stage of the LiveStream capabilities, which was also supposed to unlock after we cleared the third Nightmare Mode. It''s an awesome feature that allows for in-game viewing parties at taverns, guild halls, and town squares. It''s like in the real world, when people go to bars or friends'' houses to watch World Cup matches. The Host (either the tavern owner, guild leader, or a mayor who projects the Stream in Town Square) pays a set fee to project the LiveStream in their establishment, and then NPCs and yers go to the establishments to watch for free, and generally buy food and drinks so the Host makes money. The Party LiveStreaming makes 75% of the profits from the fees paid, while the game makes the other 25%. If your Stream is REALLY popr, you can even ask that your Party receive a percentage of food and drink sales from the Host establishments, but the update description warned that would only be possible once more yers enter the game, in theter Realms. Individuals can still pay to watch the Stream by themselves, but it''s generally more fun to watch with a group, so these events are serious money-makers. Of course, the caveat is, people have to want to pay for the rights to watch your LiveStream. Your Party Leader has to have a certain number of sesses to their name or you don''t even get the chance to apply, and even if you meet all the requirements, if no one wants to pay to watch you, it''s a lost cause. Anansi''s cryptic smile deepens, as if he finds the fact we rushed yet another Game Milestone so quickly deeply amusing. "Unfortunately, the minor deities are not quite ready to deliver on that promised reward." I bet they aren''t. I feel a savage glee at the fact the devs are probably all shitting themselves in a mad scramble to finish updates they should have had way more time to prepare for. I''d feel worse for them if they hadn''t so royally screwed me over just forty-five minutes ago. Based on the way Kara''s wings flutter and her grip tightens in my hand, I have a feeling she''s thinking the same thing. Anansi continues, "In rpense, Chaos Party is guaranteed first rights to use the new Feature when it goes Live next Friday. Once you choose the Title for your LiveStream Event, let me know, and I, the Great Anansi, shall share the news of your uing adventures far and wide, all across thend!" Essentially, Vir-Tech is going to officially endorse the Stream, and we are going to make buckets of money. Yay! After a few more enigmatic messages about the Great Tumult, Anansi takes his leave in a cloud of mystical smoke. A little ding grabs my attention as he disappears, and to my shock, I find I have received a Friend Request from Anansi the God of Storytelling. I ept in a daze. I''m officially Friends with a Brownie, a Leprechaun, and a God. Wut. {Alert! Title Acquired: NPC Whisperer} Chapter 101: Clever as the Devil and Twice as Pretty Chapter 101: Clever as the Devil and Twice as Pretty [Rare Title Acquired: NPC Whisperer] Throughout history, the most dangerous people were always clever,pelling, and charismatic. || Charisma is the fragrance of the soul, and you smell sweet as sun-ripened berries. NPCs shouldn''t care about such things; they should only be concerned with what their AI God tells them to be concerned with. But they can''t help but feel the pull of your charisma. "God may love us," they say, "but the Devil takes an interest." And you, dear boy, are Clever as the Devil and twice as pretty. Only time will tell whether you''ll wield your powers for good or for evil. When equipped, Title increases user''s negotiation rate with NPCs. Whenbined with Active Charisma Skills, skill efficacy increases by 15%. At all times (even when unequipped), Title grants user Nobility Reputation. Upgradeable Title. BeFriend more Celestial-Tier NPCs to Increase the Title''s Effects.|| {BALLS OF STEEL BONUS: Your Balls of Steel Title works in Conjunction with this Title. When you attempt to negotiate with an NPC out of your league and ask for something ballsy, the odds your request will be at least partially granted increase. WARNING: On the flip side, when your negotiation fails, the consequences will be Severe.} --- So I have questions. Namely, how am I so fucking awesome? But also, is the AI eavesdropping on my brain and stealing names for Titles and Skills and shit? And also also, WHAT IS NOBILITY REP?! Am I a Lord or Knight or something now? Before I can explore any of these lines of inquiry, victorious music ys, and the Four Horsemen appear in a cloud of violet smoke. No Bob with them, so they must have let the normy die. I hope he ran away and will never have to work with these crazy mofos again, but who knows. Maybe the dude''s secretly a masochist. No judgment. (Okay, lies, I am judging a little. But only because Polemos and Loimos are suuuch dicks. There have to be better sadists to serve, you know?) "REMATCH, WORTHLESS BASTARDS!" Polemos (War) bellows immediately. "You must have cheated. That''s why you picked that Dungeon!" Loimos (Pestilence) adds in his nasally whine. I pinch the bridge of my nose, feeling a headacheing on. See what I mean? Dicks. "Excuuuse me?!" Loimos snarls. Whoops, that might have been out loud. "He called you a dick," Kara repeats cheerfully. Nightfury and Nanuk nod helpfully. Taliesin gives a hearty thumbs up. "Thanks, guys," I deadpan. "Totes, bro," Nightfury slings an arm around my shoulder. My brain short-circuits. Since when does Nightfury talk like a jock and voluntarily touch me without trying to murder me? Wait. Is he trying to murder me?? Ugh, I don''t have time for this! I stiffen and prepare to shoot him in the face with my crossbow, but Nightfury''s voice hissing in my ear stops me. "Chill, idiot." Hiszy smile stays on his face as he whispers through his teeth. He dips his head so his hat puts his face in shadow and speaks softly so only I can hear him. "I saw that look on your face before Anansi peaced out. You have another whacked-out n, right?" My lips curl into my signature smirk. It''s answer enough for Nightfury. He sighs, and it sounds almost fond. My smirk gets smirkier, and at normal volume I say, "Aw, you the best, bro," in my best Ken voice. Then I smack his ass like we''re on a football field. He can''t even take advantage of my AGI Curse and stab me in retribution because my underwear will kill him. HAHAHA BEST DAY. With an undignified yelp, Nightfury hides behind Kara. Polemos freezes the attack he''d clearly been preparing, baffled by whatever''s happening on our end. I take advantage of the confusion and unleash my smirk on the Horsemen. Predictably, Polemos and Loimos raise their hackles in enraged frustration. Limos (Famine) yawns and leans on her wooden stave like it''s the only thing keeping her upright. Thanatos (Death) stares unblinkingly with her all-white eyes. It''s so freaky I actually prefer it when her Stealth beats my Perception and makes her invisible. I cross my arms and exude my best ''Asshat'' persona. "Look who fiiinally finished the Dungeon. Guess we''ve proven who the better Party is." "Yeah, right. Says who?" Loimos snaps. "Says the 1.7 million people who watched the LiveStreams," Taliesin replies, eyes on his Status Window, where he''s currently surfing the forums and checking our stream stats. I have to remind myself to keep ying it cool. That is a huge fucking leap from the numbers this morning! Clearly, the Horsemen weren''t expecting our impromptu LiveStream Race to garner that much attention, either, since even Famine looks almost awake. At least she''s blinking slowly instead of closing her eyes entirely. "And here I thought you guys would give us at least a solidpetition." I shake my head in disappointment, as if they didn''t clear a Nightmare Mode Dungeon in a single run-through a full 10 minutes faster than the best time recorded in the beta. "Pathetic." I tack on the insult in a stage-whisper I know will carry across the field. "Now who''s the dick?" Kara actual-whispers at me, fighting back a giggle. Nanuk looks both impressed at my dick-ish-ness and a bit ill with concern that we''re all definitely going to die now. "You have no AGI, you moron!" he hisses under his breath. Obviously, I ignore him. I need all my faculties to focus on the batshit crazy War bastard one second away from attacking me. "Don''t you dare underestimate me!" Polemos shouts, waving his spear menacingly. I curl my lip and raise my chin, so I''m looking down my nose at him, like he''s dogshit beneath my shoe. "You''re so far beneath me, it is impossible to under-estimate you." Taliesin whistles, impressed by my new levels of douchebaggery. (I may or may not have stolen thateback from a manga and have been waiting my entire life to use it.) Lightning-quick, Polemos'' speares hurtling at my face, shrouded in mes. I activate my 3-second Invincibility Inferno Shield just in time to block the explosive attack. mes engulf me and a huge crater opens around my feet, showering the field with debris. And then the attack ends, the spear falls uselessly to the ground, and I''m left perfectly unscathed. Not even a fleck of dirt mars my ck armor. Polemos is physically shaking with rage. Nightfury shoots him a sympathetic look. "Erebus does that. Infuriating, right?" He shrugs. "You get used to it." I flick the spear away with the toe of my boot. (Polemos is still in "Combat," so I can''t steal his weapon. The game protects people''s weapons so you can''t just lose them any time you get disarmed mid-fight. Pity.) "My turn." I stretch my wings wide and draw Zen. Zen''s Skills immediately appear in the lower left of my vision, and like I''d calcted, Smite is officially off Cooldown. My expression is cold, dispassionate. My right eye is silver-white to match Zen, and my tattoos writhe across the left side of my face. I raise my right arm high to begin the Sword Skill''s motion, and the giant white Holy Sword appears in the sky directly above Polemos. "Stop," Thanatos demands. Death''s starkmand halts my arm, but I don''t cancel the Skill. +3000 Damage to War, +1500 to the others, instant Party Wipe. I leave the sword literally hanging above their heads. An icy smirk breaks across my face. Perfect time to begin the negotiations. Chapter 102: Vigilantes Loves Willy-Nilly Murder Chapter 102: Vigntes Loves Willy-Nilly Murder (A/N: Rmend re-reading starting from Chapter 99 to get back into the flow!) --- "You''re bluffing," Loimos (Pestilence) squawks, eyes darting wildly between me in my peach-boxers glory and the glowing sword hanging like a death sentence above his head, as if he can''t decide which he should be more afraid of. The answer is definitely me. My face tattoos writhe in time with my quiet rage as I remember before our dungeon run when this slimy maggot called Kara a bitch. I twitch my fingers, and the sword drops another meter closer to the Horsemen''s oblivion. "Silence, Loimos, you gue-ridden fool," Thanatos (Death) snaps, and Loimos flinches. Polemos (War) sneers at his weak-willed teammate, then at me. "You don''t have the stomach to be a Red yer, Erebus" he scoffs. "Probably would interfere with all your dumbass schemes." I smirk, a dangerous twist to my lips, because he''s more right than he knows; at this point, I''m pretty sure my schemes have schemes. "Good thing Smiting you wouldn''t affect my PK status, then," I reply casually. "Seeing as how you attacked first and all." Thanatos is the first to understand, and her dark expression hardens as she curses under her breath. "He speaks truth. He can kill us all without penalty." "How?!" Polemos rages. "You''re Party Leader, dum dum," Limos (Famine) exins crankily, before thwacking War upside the head with her mage staff. "Ow, what the hell!" Polemos yells. When he moves to retaliate, I drop the Holy Sword another meter and shake my finger. "Nuh uh uhh," I admonish. "Don''t make me Smite you. You deserve whatever she dishes out. If I were on your team, I''d wanna kick your ass, too." The short mage Limos half-smiles at me in thanks, then thwacks Polemos upside the head again for good measure. "Since you''re clearly too stupid to understand, let me spell it out for you," she snarks. "Being Party Leader means that when you initiate an attack, anyone in your Party currently in the same Map Zone is automaticallyplicit in that attack. By trying to blow Erebus up, you dragged us into this mess, and now he can kill all of us and call it self-defense." "That about sums it up," I agree with a wide smirk. Phase One of my "whacked-out n," as Nightfury so fondly dubbed it, had been: "Piss off Polemos, the Murderous War Lunatic, enough to make him attack, so anyter violence on my end is System-Recognized as Self-Defense." Resounding sess with that one. And since he''s Party Leader, the System recognizes all Four Horsemen as my attackers, so I can wipe out the entire Party and still remain a Green yer. It''s annoying I had to go through all this rigmarole, since in a lot of games you can kill Red yers for any reason without turning Red yourself. Not so with Viren''s Refuge, though. This game is surprisingly uncool about vigntism. (Probably due to concerns that it''s not a great idea to encourage murder willy-nilly when the world is so realistic. Damn boring psychologists, taking away all our fun with their "ethics.") Unless they attack first and signal the System Self-Defense use, you can''t kill any other yer, even a Red yer-Killer, without turning Red yourself. You will gain Reputation for killing Red PKers, and the double loot they drop, but you suffer the other gamey effects any Red yer would: you can''t go to towns without being arrested, you can''t go to NPC-owned shops, and if you die while still Red, you suffer all the usual yer Killer penalties. This, of course, would seriously jeopardize my money-making ns in Tara, so I''m not nning on rampant PKing any time soon. ...At least not without making sure I''m always using the system loopholes so I stay Green. ? Polemos tries toin, but Thanatos skewers him with a lethal re terrifying enough to make a grown man piss himself. "I like her," Kara says. "Of course you do," I sigh. "I like Limos," Taliesin chimes in. "She seems our kind of crazy." The mage in question seems to have gotten her anger out, and now, unconcerned by her impending doom, is currently sitting cross-legged on the ground, making a sandwich. She''s swapped her magic staff out for a small shield, which she''s using as a te. "Can we keep her?" Taliesin asks pleadingly. Nanuk and I rub our foreheads in anticipation of our growing headaches. "No adopting stray Horsemen," we warn. "We just want the Horsewomen," Kara argues. "No." "How about just a horse, then?" Taliesin counters. "Ooh, I want a pony," Kara agrees. "Mounts aren''t due until Realm Two opens," I remind them. "I have faith in your abilities to find a loophole around that." "...Fair point." Thanatos clears her throat pointedly and stares with her creepy all-white eyes until we shut the hell up. "You have us at your mercy, yet you have not dealt the final blow," she says in her deep,manding voice. "What is it you want from us? Gold?" Taliesin and I nce at each other and roll our eyes. "Aww that''s cute," he says. "They think we need their meager money." "What do you want then?" snot-nosed Loimos demands. I share a quick look with the rest of my Party, silentlymunicating that yes, I''m still following my Whacked-Out n, but also yes, if they have some random requests, they can feel free to jump in. Once everyone looks on board, I turn back to the Horsemen and begin negotiations. "First off? Pants." Silence from the other side of the field. Finally, Loimos squawks, "Uh, what?!" My eyes narrow into my cold re. "Did I stutter?" Loimos gulps and shrinks back. "If you want to live, one of y''all better hook a brother up with some damn trousers. I don''t care how fine my JUICY ass is, I''m not opening inter-city Teleportation like a hero with a glittery peach butt." Thanatos nods, as if this is perfectly sensible. "Loimos, give the man your pants." Spluttering in outrage, Pestilence tries to argue, but eventually is forced to toss his trousers into the middle of the field for me to retrieveter. Turns out the slimeball doesn''t have any other pants to equip, so he''s left standing in his skivvies. His perfectly normal navy blue boxers that are looser and longer than my original skintight pink heart-covered monstrosities. I renew my desire to murder whichever bored art intern designed my Immortal underwear. I give Taliesin the signal to be obnoxious, so he asks for everything from all the candy Limos is clearly hoarding to Polemos''s firstborn son, should the game engine ever progress that far. Naturally, most of what he asks for receives a solid, "No," but he manages to confuse and annoy them enough he does scrounge almost every monster part he still needed for Excalibur''s upgrade. Boy''s got mad skills in the Annoy Them Until They Cave arena. Kara has Limos make her a sandwich as well and somehow convinces Thanatos to ept a Friend Request. Nightfury, the adorable little tsundere dragon, asks for a ton of impossible items, only to finally settle on a Healer item from Thanatos, which he pretends he''s not going to immediately give to Lis once we meet up with him again. Nanuk just asks for enough potions to restock his Stamina and Health kit, and more information on poor Bob, the Horsemen''s normy 5th Party Member who had to fight Pineapple_Applepen for the chance to join them in the Dungeon. Polemos admits making the two normies fight didn''t really matter, since he killed Bob pretty much right off the bat once the Dungeon started so they wouldn''t have to share EXP. Considering Nightfury and his old Party Leader Kane were nning to do the same thing to me when we first met, I feel especially close to Bob, so I steal my sk back from Nightfury and toast the poor bastard. Once my Party has officially weirded out the Four Horsemen and left them exhausted from all the insane negotiations, I put away the sk and put my game face on. It''s time to get serious. I subtly signal to Taliesin, and he turns off the camera no one else realized he was still using. Then I stare down Thanatos (Death), clearly the true leader of the Four Horsemen. "This next point of negotiation will be your favorite, I think." Death raises a single eyebrow and manages to look just as unimpressed as Alfryd always does. "Indeed?" I just smirk. "Yes. Because for this negotiation to work, I have to give you something precious first." Her Stealth falters as her interest is piqued, and her entire ck-d avatar bes sharply visible. "And what might that be?" My grin turns feral, and my ck-and-silver eyes sh as I pull up my special map reward from Anansi. "The location of a brand-new Level 10 Dungeon." The shocked gaspsing in surround sound from both the Horsemen in front and my own Party Members behind (plus the excited giggleing from Taliesin) are music to my Chaos-loving soul. "What do you say we have ourselves another little wager?" I challenge. Chapter 103: Pelting Pickles at Pervs Chapter 103: Pelting Pickles at Pervs "What kind of wager?" Polemos demands. "Another Dungeon race?" "You did say you wanted a rematch," I remind him. Polemos looks ready to agree to anything, but Thanatos shakes her head. "I don''t know if we want to spend time on this childish feud" she begins, but Taliesin cuts her off. He may have no idea what I''m really up to, but as usual, Little Dude backs me up without missing a beat. "B-but, your Party called us cheaters!" he stutters with a sad sniffle. "The forums are all talking about how you c-called us..." Cue bottom lip tremble, as if he can''t even bear to think of it. I have to bite my own lip to keep fromughing. "...They say you called us [BLEEP]ing beta tester trash!" Another sniff, then Taliesin unleashes his bright green wide-eyed stare on the Horsemen. It is Very Effective. I actually look away so I don''t get caught in the cross-fire; those Puss-in-Boots big eyes of his are POTENT. Three of the Horsemen immediately melt and look abashed. The short mage Limos actually clutches her chest and gasps, "Oh gods, my heart can''t take this," then swipes open her Item Storage and tosses Taliesin a sticky bun. With my extra-high Perception, I can hear her mutter under her breath, "It''s only right. A cinnamon roll for The Cinnamon Roll." Nightfury straight up chokes at that and has to hide his face with his hat. Unsurprisingly, War (Polemos) is unaffected by the overwhelming cuteness. If anything, the sick bastard looks even more motivated to maim and torture. Taliesin''s shiver might not be an act this time; Polemos is creepy as hell. Little Dude focuses on the others. "This is an unknown Dungeon, so we can prove we''re not just special ''cause we were in the beta." "Unless you want to make an apology video right now, taking back your bullshit ims that we only won because of the beta," I add with a smirk. As different as they all are, all four of the Horsemen make the exact same horrified, revolted expression at the idea of making an apology video. "Fine! We''ll race you," Thanatos agrees with a violent re. "And we''ll prove without a doubt that we''re the best Party in Viren''s Refuge and you losers are worthless without your cheats!" Loimos screeches. "So what''s the wager?" Polemos asks. "What do we get when we beat your beater asses?" I roll my eyes. "We obviously won''t lose, but sure. Let''s name terms." "Bold words for such patheticpetition," Loimos taunts in his annoying nasal voice. With a finger twitch, I drop the Holy Sword of Justice another meter. Loimos squeaks and ducks, covering his head with his hands like a kid in a tornado drill. Ignoring the idiot, I wrinkle my brow and pretend I''m thinking up ideas on the spot. "How about this..." I begin finally. I catch Taliesin''s eye, and with a shit-eating grin, he wordlessly opens his Status Window. Keeping my own expression nd, I continue, "Winners get exclusive video rights for the Dungeon; losers never release so much as a snapshot, let alone a highlight reel. So this won''t be another LiveStream battle." I shoot an obnoxious ''better-than-thou'' sneer at the Horsemen. "A non-betaed Dungeon means we''ll all need to run Normal and Hard Mode a few times at least, so we wouldn''t want you guys watching our vids and stealing our best strategies." War and Pestilence look pissed at the suggestion they''d ever deign to study our strategies, but little Famine (Limos) just nods. "Yeah, that would be the smartest n," she agrees shamelessly as she noms on her own sticky bun. "Way easier to just make you do all the work and steal your best ideas." My carefully constructed sneer almost falls apart as I snort. Damn, but I''m starting to really like that kid. Gritting his teeth, Polemos snarls at me, "Is that all?" I tap my chin thoughtfully. "Hmm...how about the losing team has to give up the best weapon they manage to acquire from the Dungeon during the race?" Loimos looks up from his spot in the dirt, clearly nervous. "That screws over the losing team way too much." "Since you think you''re going to win, it shouldn''t matter right?" Kara taunts. "Nah, you know you''re going to lose don''t you?" Nightfury scoffs. "Makes sense," Nanuk deadpans, looking down his nose at the pathetic lump still quivering on the ground. "Your inferiorityplex is fully justified." Welp. I have nothing to top that savagery. "Damn, Nanuk. Just cut off his balls next time; it''d be less brutal." Nanuk shrugs. "I was simply speaking the truth." Loimos splutters so much, the game animates angry purple splotches on his face. "How about this?" Ipromise. "Winners get the best weapon from the race, and the losing team gets any recipes and designs." "Deal," Polemos says before anyone else can argue. The lengthy negotiations have frustrated the man of action the most, and he just wants everything to finally end so he can go stab things again. I keep my smirk neutral, even though inside I''m cheering. "Deal." Thanatos looks ready to murder her teammate, and me, but Taliesin cuts off any arguments she might have by materializing the contract he''d automatically started typing up as soon as I started naming terms. (After tasking Alfryd with all those insane contract negotiations for the Tara Marketce, my Liaison had gone ahead and given us both a stack of high-quality system-recognized contracts with fill-in-the-nk Terms sections. He''d had a hunch we''d need them, bless the man.) Taliesin passes the glowing parchment to me with a flourish, and I hold my thumb over it and verbally sign it by calling out, "System Contract, CREATE and RECOGNIZE." Polemos barely nces at the message that appears in front of him before he presses his thumbprint on it and deres, "System Contract, RECOGNIZE and ACCEPT." Death is now visibly shaking in rage. "You battle-crazed idiot!" she thunders at him. "That was a Party Contract! Did you even read a word of it before signing on behalf of all of us?" Polemos rolls his eyes. "What''s got your panties in a twist?" The mage Limos throws a pickle at his head. "You charging ahead and making decisions for all of us is exactly what led to this whole impending doom thing," she reminds him, waving at the glowing sword still hovering above their heads. I start to reassure them the contract is fine, but then I see that twinkle in Little Dude''s green eyes, and I realize they might have a little need for concern after all. ''What did you do?'' I wonder. Thanatos pulls up the Party Contract on her own Status Window and starts scanning it to see how screwed they are, but Limos just tilts her head and stares at Taliesin. He''s still looking all innocent and cute and wide-eyed, so she doesn''t think it could be that bad. "Did you add something? Maybe next ten pants drops go to Erebus?" she asks naively. "Or do we have to make an apology video after all?" Taliesin just smiles even more innocently. Nanuk and I shudder in fear. Suddenly, Thanatos chokes in what I''m pretty sure is an attempt to keep augh from ruining her whole big bad Death look. She must have found the hidden use. Confused and annoyed, Polemos can''t be quiet any longer. "We done here? You''ve got to have everything now, right?" "Nope, I did have to add one more thing," Taliesin chirps cheerily. "You greedy bastard," Polemos growls. Taliesin shakes his head. "Not at all. This isn''t rted to the race. It''s personal." His sunny expression turns to the idiot still cowering on the ground, and his once-warm eyes turn ten shades icier. "Loimos dies today." Thick silence falls upon the field. Even Polemos can''t find the words to respond to that. Nothing''s more terrifying than a happy-go-lucky cinnamon roll with murder on the mind. Before anyone else can even process, Death''s deep voice rings out, "Fine." "What?!" Loimos squeaks. Shrugging, Thanatos swipes the contract closed and starts walking out of the range of the Sword of Justice Smite attack. "It''s in the contract. Irond. Too bad." "You can''t just leave me here to die!" Limos screams. Shaking off her own surprise, Limos skips off behind Death. "S''your fault for being a sleaze." "When she''s right, she''s right," I agree wholeheartedly, stepping closer to Kara. Taliesin, Nanuk, and Nightfury nod in firm agreement and move closer, too. "No sexist asshat insults our Valkyrie," Nightfury snarls. Touched, Kara swoops down to kiss Taliesin''s cheek, then smiles her thanks to Nanuk and Nightfury. Nanuk breaks his icy faade to smile back, while Nightfury grumbles about it being "nothing to be going on about for gods'' sakes" and hides behind his hat. I sidle even closer to lightly squeeze Kara''s hand in solidarity. Then I give her my best roguish grin. "Don''t I get a thank you kiss too?" "If I had to kiss you every time you PK''d someone who annoyed you, I''d never have time to finish a single quest," she jokes. "Letting you murder that simpering pest is reward enough, don''t you think?" "I don''t know, I think you underestimate how rewarding I''d find a kiss from the indomitable Kara Geir." Oops. That came out way more honest than the yful-flirty I was going for. Middle of a battlefield right before a public execution is not exactly the time or ce for this. Swiftly changing gears, I morph my expression into my usual smirk and squeeze her hand one more time before letting her go. "But murder is a close second, I suppose. I can be happy enough with that." For today, anyway. I turn back to the Horsewomen. "Ladies, you''ll wanna keep moving. Hundred-meter st radius and all. Wouldn''t want you to get caught up and die along with your trash teammate." "Smite has a hundred-meter area of attack?" Kara whispers in surprise. "Hell no," I whisper back with a grin. "But they don''t need to know that." Her softugh sends a breath of warm air across my ear, and I have to remind myself that it''s *still* not the right time to try to convince my sister''s long-lost friend to make out with me, or marry me, or have my adorable battle-crazed gamer babies. I focus back on the Horsemen in time to see Polemos skewer me with onest withering re before also finally giving in and stalking out of range. Thoroughly panicked now, Loimos scrambles to his feet and tries to scurry after his teammates. "Oh no you don''t," I admonish, but I needn''t have bothered. All three of his teammates hit him with knock-back attacks to keep him in the center of Smite''s range of attack. "You can''t do this to me!" he whines pitifully. Now Limos pelts him with pickle. Thanatos remains stoic. "You brought this on yourself." Polemos''s lip curls scornfully. "You aren''t worth saving. I just want this over with so I can get my spear back." Loimos is so offended he chokes, and that''s when I kill him. The unnecessarily humungous explosion is oh so satisfying. Silently, I add an overpowered orange-tinged Lux to the explosion, so Smite looks like it''s reaching the full hundred-meters, and my inner pyro ps with glee at the insane destruction. When the animation effects finally end, nothing is left of Loimos but a small pile of item drops that automatically disappear and enter my storage as Battle Loot since he was a Red yer. The Horsemen looked understandably freaked out by the OP attack I just unleashed, but at the sight of the drops disappearing, Polemos shakes off his shock and roars, "Now''s our chance. Attack them!" "No." Limos shuts him down immediately. Polemos frowns. "Why not?" Limos points to my pink princess peach boxers. "The glitter," the little mage says, shuddering in true horror. "I won''t go near it. You take him out yourself if you want to catch sparkle herpes." I turn and shake my JUICY ass. Specks of gold glitter float and flutter in the air around me. My entire Party nches and steps aside like I''m a sparkling Typhoid Mary, spreading some sort of bubonic crafts gue. Nightfury hides behind Kara again. 150 meters away, the Horsemen also step back in sync, staring wide-eyed as if I were holding a nuclear-level live grenade. "You win today, D''Raven," Death says. "But next time we meet, you''ll be crawling beneath our feet as we prove once and for all who the better yers are!" Polemos yells. "Sure, sure," Taliesin says in that patronizing tone shite teachers use when they''re talking down to students. Polemos'' eye twitches in pent up anger, and I''m half worried he might suicide attack us after all. Kara kicks his spear deep into the Smite crater. "Oops." "Aaargh!" The dulcet tones of Polemos'' frustrated screams as he''s forced to mber down to retrieve his high-tier weapon bring matching contented smiles to all our faces, and we circle up around the Group Teleportation Scroll in my hands. I switch us back to Party-Only Chat so the Horsemen can''t hear. "Next stop Tara, then after my forced log-out break, it''s back to our Main Storyline Quest!" Nanuk wrinkles his brow in confusion. "Uh...shouldn''t we be going to the Dungeon?" "Yeah, you know, the whole Epic Race to See Who''s the Best Party that you''ve spent this whole time organizing?" Kara adds. I snort. "We''re not doing that dumbass dungeon. It''s a total unknown. It''ll take for-fucking-ever. And it''s filled with creepy-crawly bugs and shit. No thank you." "But..." Nanuk splutters. "I wondered why you''d be willing to give them recipes and designs when they lose," Taliesin murmurs wonderingly. "But if we lose on purpose..." Nightfury''s draconian eyes gleam. "You sneaky sonuvabitch. You yed them." My smirk shes pure satisfaction. "Always assume my n is ten times more convoluted than it seems, my dear draegkyn. The Dungeon is way on the other side of the map, they still need to rece their random Noob yer to fill out their numbers, and now they have to wait for Loimos to revive. They can''t go into any cities because they''re still Red, so they can''t Teleport. Polemos is already impatient and pissed, so by the time they finally get to the Dungeon, he''ll probably make them rush and they''ll make more mistakes and hopefully die quicker than they might otherwise. It''ll be at least a week before they clear Hard Mode, if not longer." Kara nods, eyes alight as she grasps my n. "But once they get Hard Mode First Clear, they''ll feel more confident and assume we''re struggling. They''ll probably slow down then, take their time running Nightmare, getting the best possible Highlight Reel shots. By the time they finally clear Nightmare, we''ll be so far along our side of the parallel MSQ, they''ll never be able to catch up!" "Bro, your genius-level assholery is fucking insane," Nightfury sinctly wraps up everyone''s feelings. epting his words as praise, I give everyone a little bow. Then I rip the Group Teleportation Scroll from Anansi and announce, "Tara Central Market." As we disappear into a sh of sparkly rainbow light, I hear Nanuk mutter, "I''m just d he''s on our team." "Mhmm," is all Taliesin can say in reply. Chapter 104: The Rise of Chaos Trash Chapter 104: The Rise of Chaos Trash (A/N: I saved the LiveStream Comments until now instead of posting them as the Dungeon went along, partially because I didn''t want them messing up the Dungeon Flow, and partially because I figured this would be a good way to remind everyone of all the crazy shenanigans Chaos Party got up to while LiveStreaming ckguard Bog. Refers to Events starting in Chapter 86: Apocalyptic Prick Party.) ------------ | Tara, Realm One - Gael | The bright, bustling Tara Market is a pleasant contrast to the silent, gray ckguard Bog where we''d just spent hours slogging through muck and monsters. The square is everything I was hoping for and more when I sent my Liaison Alfryd out with a to do list as long as my arm. Not only did he manage to secure contracts with enough high-ss businesses to fill in all the best spots around the square, but he also enlisted the help of several artisans, including Brodie and Arachne, to spruce up the stalls and make them even more attractive than I ever saw them in the beta. The effect is not only eye-catching and weing, but it makes the market look even more like a special set-up by the game to entice yers to the Capitol. No one would ever suspect a healthy percentage of their coins are going right into a couple of yers'' pockets. (Since Taliesin just handed me all his damn money without missing a beat when I was investing this morning, I obviously had to pay the too-trusting bugger back somehow. Alfryd suggested 3% shares...so I decided on 5%.) Ignorant of the Market''s secrets, Nightfury, Kara, and Nanuk smile normally at all the stalls and make ns to hit up some of them before we take off on our next adventure. Taliesin and I, on the other hand, stare greedily at our investments, one step away from forcing the Nova AI to animate cartoon dor signs over our eyes. {Aether Alert: Reminder! Log Out Imminent. You have 5 in-game minutes to move to a secure location.} The shing alert andrge neon numbers initiating the countdown in the corner of my vision effectively knock me back to my senses. Without wasting another second, I pull out the Special Nova Item: Teleportation Portal Key, and kneel down in the center of the Portal Circle to unlock Intra-Realm Teleportation. The key inserts into the Celtic design on the ground, and when I twist it, the portal unlocks with a rush of warm wind, fanfare music, and beautiful glowing lights that spin around our Party. All of our HP and SP bars fill uppletely, plus we gain a consumable+100 Boost to both. As Party Leader and holder of the Key, I also receive bonus EXP and +1 VIT. Since the beta reward was higher, I have a feeling Kara received half of my bonus, since she was the person Anansi originally gifted the Key to. I''m d. [Realm Notification (Gael): INTRA-REALM TELEPORTATION OPENS - Congrattions to Chaos Party forpleting the Hidden Challenge: Complete Three Nightmare Mode Dungeon Runs! Entire Realm Rewarded with Teleportation Portals opening throughout Gael and One Week of Free Travel. To stimte Gael Economy, all In-Realm yers also rewarded +10 Silver. Erebus, Kara Geir, Nightfury, Nanuk, Taliesin; Party Members Rewarded +300 Gael Reputation Points, +10 Gold, +50,000 EXP, Mythic Hero Bonus] [City Notification (Tara): FIRST TELEPORTATION POINT- As a thank you to Chaos Party for choosing Capitol City Tara as the site for Teleportation Key Entry, Party Members Rewarded +250 Tara Reputation Points, +25 Gold Coupon Good for Tara Businesses, Eternal Free Teleportation ess to Tara] As always, amazing rewards from the generous Nova AI. She may fuck with me. Like, a lot. But she doesn''t fuck around with my goodies. Free Teleportation to Tara alone will save us a bundle since it costs a full Gold coin to teleport to Capitol Cities (50 silvers for other Cities, 25 silvers for Towns, 10 silvers for Viges). One of the main reasons I was in such a hurry to get the Marketce set up for today is the fact that we can guarantee practically every yer is going to take advantage of the week of free travel to go to Tara at least once, and they''ll have at least 10 silvers burning a hole in their pockets. I was really hoping that aspect of the game hadn''t changed from the beta, since the downside of opening the Teleportation Portal so early is that a lot of yers haven''t earned much money yet. Luckily, since travel to major Towns and Cities is inconvenient without teleportation, most yers have also been saving what they''ve earned, since they haven''t had anywhere worthwhile to spend their coins. I don''t give our Party much time to revel in ourtest rewards. Instead, I just quietly announce, "Five Minutes," and hail a carriage. Suddenly subdued, my Party mbers in behind me as I tell the driver the address of my new house and slip him some coins. The closer we get to my ce, the more the atmosphere in the carriage grows awkward. Everyone is studiously avoiding discussing my impending Forced Log Out and That Rted Thing We Are Pretending Never Happened aka, my pathetic panic attack and emotional breakdown of epic proportions but they can''t stop thinking about it, so no one''sing up with anything ELSE to talk about, either. As per usual, Little Ball of Perpetual Sunshine, Liam "Taliesin" Dunleavy, saves the day with his overeager enthusiasm and impressive ability to ignore negative social cues. "Have you guys checked out thements on our LiveStream yet? They''re crazy and hrious and I think we have a fan club!?" Thank the Gods for annoyingly chipper teenagers and the inte''s terrifying ability to turn anyone into fandom trash. As we all scour the ridiculousments section on our own virtual windows, the rest of the ride passes in a much more rxed silence, broken by the asional one-liner read aloud, snorts, giggles, and a variety of muttered curses and exmations. All in all, for a group of gamer nerds, it''s the perfect way to relieve tension and ignore problems. I ruffle Taliesin''s fluffy hair, lean against Kara''s warm side, and silently wish time would slow down and let this carriage ridest forever. ------------ LIVESTREAM COMMENTS Not_YeQiu: I was going to leave ament judging how this is just a video of Erebus being an egomaniacal ass for three hours straight, except I watched the entire thing and now I''m judging myself --- God: You''re Chaos Trash now, my friend. Embrace the Darkness. Kvasir: Uhh, I don''t know what''s going on, but I''m typing on behalf of my roommate, who is currently in a drunken stupor. He wants everyone know he "Finished the Erebus Yeets Shit Drinking Game like a MothaEffin Boss Yeet Yeet!" and also if he dies, it was worth it??? --- gratuitousgigi: ^probably you should take him to the hospital. --- I_Simp_Erebus: ^^probably everyone who participated should be in the hospital --- ck Stabbath: omw 2 hopital no. yeet yeeeeeeeeeet --- Ivan the Tolerable: #worth1t --- ShiaSURPRISE: #worth1t x2 --- I''m A Horse for Loki: #worth1t x69 ( ) SummerHugs: *screenshot of Erebus blushing lightly and smiling when Kara calls him Leader-y and his teammates all prove they trust him* --- SummerHugs: GASP. MY HEART! That was no smirk! Erebus smiled FOR REAL!?! --- I_Simp_Erebus: erebus''s smile. so amazing. so blessed. my e''s cleared. i''ve aced my exams. my crops are lush and plentiful. ---SoullessButHappy: and it was none other than Kara who pulled it out of him! #karebus ---Taliebus_Brotherhood: that smile single-handedly saved this year --- Captain Underpants: His smile may have saved you, but it was his friggin'' OP underwear that saved him. WTF @SilkenStrands!? Arachne: *video clip mashup of every time Erebus'' rose-thorn ASS-ASS-IN boxers absolutely destroyed an attacker, with Taliesin''s impromptumercial voiceover: "Boxers Bro limited edition underwearthey pack a punch AND make a statement! Only avable at Silken Strands!"* --- Here.For.It: there were so many close-ups of Erebus''s ass in this, I thought I was watching Chris from Yuri on Ice #noining #rewatched10x #boygotackWidowbooty --- Erebus: @Arachne I hate you with the passion of a thousand burning suns. --- Arachne: Remember that time you broke your boxers'' durability and were left naked except for a winking emoji where your junk should be? ...Sure would be a shame if I stopped providing you with recement underwear... (^_) --- Erebus: heh heh typo! I meant I HEART you with the passion of a thousand burning suns. --- Nightfury: you''re sure sweating a lot, boxers bro --- Erebus: BECAUSE SUNS ARE HOT, JACKASS --- Taliesin: Murdered.AF_reaction *reaction gif of Loimos'' stupid ''i done fucked up'' face and then KABOOM* --- Erebus: bro. did you add that contract use just so you could turn that perv''s death into a reaction gif? --- Taliesin: --- MothaEffinOedipus: ...Lil CinnaBro is scary as shit. Thokk: ...did...did he....DID BOXERS BRO KILL A FUCKING BOSS WITH THE POWER OF HIS FUCKING UNDERWEAR?!?! --- gratuitousgigi: (softly, but with feeling) what in the fuck --- longjohnsilver: when my dad walked in during that part I switched to porn bc that was easier to exin Unwittingly Invested: *blurry screenshot of Erebus sunk up to his neck in bog water after the HinkyPunk Hidden Boss battle, with what looks like tears on his face* --- Unwittingly Invested: Anyone else shed a tear or two when Erebus looked so devastated here? --- (2000+ments debating whether the Chaos God is actually crying or if it''s just realistic game animation drips from the sshing water) ... --- Unwittingly Invested: Whether the tears are real or not, Can we all agree that counter-curse is BOGUS AF?! Shame on you, @Vir-Tech!! --- Lazer Chicken: ^yass x1000 SHAMEEEE --- AwesomeSauce: it''s not like they coded an entire Hidden Boss and a Curse specially for Erebus just to nerf him or something. don''t be ridiculous --- SoullessButHappy: I''d believe it tbh --- Oh Ur Dead: he''s not THAT good for chrissake --- Shadeyer: uhhhh what videos have YOU been watching brosef? ----------- BONUS: A/N: I added this to the end of Chapter 92: Dumb Ass Jokes, but if you don''t feel like going back there to read, here are thements that follow poor Nightfury''s sad attempt at making a butt joke: (Scene Reminder: Erebus is rocking his ASS-ASS-IN boxers for the first time, so everyone in the Party yells a butt joke cheesy pick-up line at him. They all peer pressure Nightfury into making up one, too. Except he panics and the first thing he thinks of is: "Uh...so...I''m an asshole. Will that stop me from getting in yours?" ... and then he wishes for the sweet release of death. Poor poor dragon boy.) ------------ RELATED COMMENTS F3AR R3AP3R: I''m not hallucinating, right? Nightfury justSAID THATright? ---Here.For.It: #Eury confirmed. Graphically. ---De_Nile: every day we stray further from god''s grace ---kitkatt: oh noo can someone teach our poor dragon bby how cheesy pick-up lines work? ---Erebus: Hell no. No one teach him a THING. ---Long-Live-the-Queen-and-Betty-White: y''all need jesus ---Shazaam: *whispers* gaaay The Novel will be updated first on this website. Come back and continue reading tomorrow, everyone!